The Culture Audit: Are You Leading with Clarity or Just Being Nice?

WEBVTT
00:00:46.306 --> 00:00:51.140
Typically when someone is the nice leader, do they have any idea?
00:00:52.273 --> 00:00:56.240
No. None whatsoever.
00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:58.273
They just don't understand why no one respects them.
00:00:58.273 --> 00:00:59.472
Correct.
00:00:59.472 --> 00:00:59.939
Correct.
00:00:59.939 --> 00:01:03.773
I just I just want your respect, guys.
00:01:03.773 --> 00:01:05.939
No, I was that was that good?
00:01:07.272 --> 00:01:08.406
I just don't want anybody.
00:01:08.406 --> 00:01:09.573
Doesn't listen to me.
00:01:09.573 --> 00:01:09.972
Right.
00:01:09.972 --> 00:01:10.305
Yeah.
00:01:10.305 --> 00:01:11.939
No, I hear I hear it.
00:01:11.939 --> 00:01:16.173
Um, in most cases, though, two people don't even realize it at that.
00:01:16.173 --> 00:01:17.305
They just don't have the.
00:01:17.305 --> 00:01:33.272
So we are gonna show you how to audit if you are the nice leader and if you think you're not, you should still pay attention to this episode because we're going to give you some tweaks on how to make sure that you don't fall into any of those traps.
00:01:33.272 --> 00:01:34.073
Stay tuned.
00:01:36.706 --> 00:01:38.373
She's the CEO.
00:01:38.373 --> 00:01:40.573
He's the marketing and operations guy.
00:01:40.573 --> 00:01:44.006
If it's broken, you need the business fix.
00:01:45.673 --> 00:01:47.740
We went back and looked at some numbers.
00:01:47.740 --> 00:01:51.439
Yeah, the Nice leader trap is like one of our top episodes.
00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:52.473
It is.
00:01:52.473 --> 00:01:58.473
And I was, I was blown away by this because I was like, oh yeah, no, this is like, it makes sense.
00:01:58.473 --> 00:01:59.740
It really does.
00:01:59.740 --> 00:02:00.539
It really does.
00:02:00.539 --> 00:02:08.473
And most people don't always realize when it's them or when they just have some nice leader tendencies, how conflict avoidant they truly are.
00:02:08.473 --> 00:02:10.140
Yes.
00:02:10.140 --> 00:02:11.705
And it speaks to our culture.
00:02:11.705 --> 00:02:12.140
It does.
00:02:12.140 --> 00:02:20.473
And I, I've done it too, when I'm like, there was a point I knew I needed to get rid of someone and I'm like, okay, well, they still have the same problem next week I do.
00:02:20.473 --> 00:02:21.073
Yeah.
00:02:21.073 --> 00:02:23.906
Let me tell you, I still had the same problem.
00:02:23.906 --> 00:02:27.573
And I was like, oh, now you need to do it.
00:02:27.573 --> 00:02:30.240
Um, but I, it took me a while to put that timeline to it.
00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:38.705
So yeah, if you haven't listened to, to, to really the, the piece of that, you should go back and listen to the nice leader trap.
00:02:38.705 --> 00:02:42.772
Um, we're going to make sure that you aren't falling back into nice mode.
00:02:42.772 --> 00:02:43.372
We're not.
00:02:43.372 --> 00:02:44.539
You can still be nice.
00:02:44.539 --> 00:02:50.006
You just can't be the quote unquote nice leader that doesn't have accountability, right?
00:02:50.006 --> 00:02:51.973
The the spineless leader.
00:02:51.973 --> 00:02:52.906
Yes.
00:02:52.906 --> 00:02:53.272
Yeah.
00:02:53.272 --> 00:02:55.272
No. So we are going to talk about that.
00:02:55.272 --> 00:02:56.473
Um to me.
00:02:58.540 --> 00:02:59.740
This is the audit.
00:02:59.740 --> 00:03:03.939
This is the and I this is bringing in the number crunchers.
00:03:03.939 --> 00:03:08.073
Um, and I as soon as I say that I picture the old guy wearing the green visor.
00:03:08.073 --> 00:03:08.573
Yeah.
00:03:08.573 --> 00:03:11.573
Uh, with the abacus.
00:03:11.573 --> 00:03:11.906
Right.
00:03:11.906 --> 00:03:13.073
With the abacus.
00:03:13.073 --> 00:03:15.506
Just the one light over the dark.
00:03:15.506 --> 00:03:18.806
A dark office, just the one light hanging over top of it.
00:03:18.806 --> 00:03:20.706
And him wearing that green visor.
00:03:20.706 --> 00:03:28.040
Um, probably smoking an old cigarette in an office that smells like like one of the other auditors died a number of years back.
00:03:28.040 --> 00:03:29.073
Yes.
00:03:29.073 --> 00:03:40.506
Um, today we're going to talk about like that carbon monoxide of your culture, that invisible gas that is killing your efficiency, possibly your employees, definitely your culture.
00:03:40.506 --> 00:03:44.272
Because nice leadership doesn't often look like a disaster.
00:03:44.272 --> 00:03:45.240
Oh, not at all.
00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:47.140
No. It's happy people.
00:03:47.140 --> 00:03:49.140
Hey, how's it going today, Bob?
00:03:49.140 --> 00:03:49.673
Yeah.
00:03:49.673 --> 00:03:50.640
Great.
00:03:51.673 --> 00:03:51.873
Bob.
00:03:51.873 --> 00:03:52.473
Doing their work.
00:03:52.473 --> 00:03:53.140
Nope.
00:03:53.140 --> 00:03:54.040
Right.
00:03:54.040 --> 00:03:55.406
Nope.
00:03:55.406 --> 00:03:56.973
Bob wants to burn the building down.
00:03:56.973 --> 00:03:58.406
Yep.
00:03:58.406 --> 00:03:58.772
Quiet.
00:03:58.772 --> 00:04:00.340
Quit six weeks ago.
00:04:00.340 --> 00:04:01.906
Correct?
00:04:01.906 --> 00:04:02.473
Correct.
00:04:02.473 --> 00:04:06.740
So being that nice leader is actually a form of selfish.
00:04:06.740 --> 00:04:08.673
Selfish?
00:04:08.673 --> 00:04:09.873
I can't say that word.
00:04:09.873 --> 00:04:10.573
Selfishness.
00:04:10.573 --> 00:04:11.040
Thank you.
00:04:11.040 --> 00:04:13.373
I can thank you, I appreciate that.
00:04:13.373 --> 00:04:16.939
Um, I've always struggled with that one, so I don't know why I put it in our notes here.
00:04:16.939 --> 00:04:22.139
Uh. It's really and we've talked about this.
00:04:22.139 --> 00:04:22.272
Yeah.
00:04:22.272 --> 00:04:30.805
You're protecting your own feelings at the expense of your team's clarity, the company's return on investment, your own dignity, because everyone sees through it.
00:04:30.805 --> 00:04:36.139
And it's like, oh, it's so I feel bad that they were born in invertebrate.
00:04:36.139 --> 00:04:36.740
Yeah.
00:04:39.740 --> 00:04:40.305
It's okay.
00:04:40.305 --> 00:04:42.572
You have the same spine as a jellyfish.
00:04:42.572 --> 00:04:43.540
Congratulations.
00:04:43.540 --> 00:04:44.139
Relations.
00:04:44.139 --> 00:04:45.372
No one respects you.
00:04:47.173 --> 00:04:48.605
That's great.
00:04:48.605 --> 00:04:50.540
You've heard this title.
00:04:50.540 --> 00:04:52.005
Congratulations.
00:04:52.005 --> 00:04:57.740
Come on down or walk us through the interpretation game.
00:04:57.740 --> 00:04:59.305
I love the title of this.
00:04:59.305 --> 00:05:00.706
I'm excited to hear about it.
00:05:00.706 --> 00:05:06.372
Why do employees start interpreting the boss's mood instead of following the SOP?
00:05:06.372 --> 00:05:09.573
Because I have seen this happen.
00:05:09.573 --> 00:05:10.305
Yeah.
00:05:10.305 --> 00:05:14.506
This is when the emotional environment becomes more important than the operational environment, right?
00:05:14.506 --> 00:05:15.240
Ooh, yeah.
00:05:15.240 --> 00:05:16.540
And that hurts me.
00:05:16.540 --> 00:05:18.040
I'm sure it hurts me to hear.
00:05:18.040 --> 00:05:18.973
I'm sure it does.
00:05:18.973 --> 00:05:20.372
But it's true.
00:05:20.372 --> 00:05:24.240
And leaders rarely realize they're creating it.
00:05:24.240 --> 00:05:26.439
They do because it starts really innocently.
00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:31.173
You know, a leader changes their mind depending on the stress, what's going on in the you know, everybody's stressed.
00:05:31.173 --> 00:05:33.105
Like we just won't do that.
00:05:33.105 --> 00:05:34.840
They give vague feedback.
00:05:34.840 --> 00:05:36.406
You're doing okay.
00:05:36.406 --> 00:05:38.540
Thank you for doing a good job.
00:05:38.540 --> 00:05:41.040
What, what did I do a good job on?
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:41.639
Right.
00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:44.605
Just I feel like this pains you to say these even.
00:05:44.605 --> 00:05:45.805
It does.
00:05:45.805 --> 00:05:47.006
It does.
00:05:47.006 --> 00:05:50.605
Um, another one is they'll avoid those hard conversations.
00:05:50.605 --> 00:05:52.805
We talked about this in multiple episodes.
00:05:52.805 --> 00:05:54.139
Just we don't want to give feedback.
00:05:54.139 --> 00:06:00.506
We don't want to feel icky because, you know, it might be uncomfortable to have a sweaty ten minute conversation.
00:06:00.506 --> 00:06:06.139
So Bob is sitting at his desk with his feet up, scrolling on his phone.
00:06:06.139 --> 00:06:06.605
Yes.
00:06:06.605 --> 00:06:08.406
And the phone is ringing, right?
00:06:08.406 --> 00:06:13.240
The phone is ringing, and you make sure you don't walk down the aisle that Bob's cubicle is in.
00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:13.605
Yes.
00:06:13.605 --> 00:06:14.773
That way, you don't have to deal with it.
00:06:14.773 --> 00:06:15.573
Exactly.
00:06:15.573 --> 00:06:16.139
Or they'll.
00:06:16.139 --> 00:06:20.540
Or sometimes a leader will say yes in the moment to avoid discomfort.
00:06:21.939 --> 00:06:22.573
We've all done.
00:06:22.573 --> 00:06:24.506
We've all done that, right?
00:06:24.506 --> 00:06:26.439
And when you do those things, you change your mind.
00:06:26.439 --> 00:06:38.105
Depending on stress, you give, you give vague feedback, you avoid those hard conversations, or you say yes, just because you want to delay having to do something hard, the team's going to learn that the real rules aren't in the SOPs.
00:06:38.105 --> 00:06:39.939
They're in the boss's mood.
00:06:39.939 --> 00:06:42.573
Ooh, yeah, that sounds scary.
00:06:42.573 --> 00:06:43.506
It absolutely is.
00:06:43.506 --> 00:06:44.573
So we've got three seeds.
00:06:44.573 --> 00:06:48.340
We've talked about the three C's of leadership, clarity, consistency and care.
00:06:48.340 --> 00:06:54.006
Well, we convert these in the nice leader to clarity, consistency and courage.
00:06:54.006 --> 00:06:58.840
Because you're not going to care is not an excuse to wimp out on doing the hard things.
00:06:58.840 --> 00:07:00.105
So that's why we say courage.
00:07:00.105 --> 00:07:05.706
All right, so I feel and now suddenly I'm thinking of the lion from The Wizard of Oz.
00:07:05.706 --> 00:07:06.805
Is that what you had in mind too?
00:07:06.805 --> 00:07:08.706
No, it's not, but is.
00:07:08.706 --> 00:07:10.840
Now, don't be that lion, okay?
00:07:10.840 --> 00:07:12.372
We're not going to be the Cowardly Lion.
00:07:12.372 --> 00:07:13.573
We're going to be courageous.
00:07:13.573 --> 00:07:15.406
So let's talk about clarity first.
00:07:15.406 --> 00:07:19.973
So when expectations are unclear, employees start trying to interpret emotion instead of process.
00:07:19.973 --> 00:07:22.840
And that's where the mood watch begins, right?
00:07:22.840 --> 00:07:27.173
If your team's checking with your assistant before they're bringing you bad news, like, how's Christy doing today?
00:07:27.173 --> 00:07:29.573
Is, is this a good time?
00:07:29.573 --> 00:07:31.240
Should we wait until tomorrow?
00:07:31.240 --> 00:07:35.372
You've accidentally trained emotional risk assessment into the culture, so you don't want to do that?
00:07:35.372 --> 00:07:37.506
No, no. And then there's consistency.
00:07:37.506 --> 00:07:43.372
And this is exhausting for teams because now instead of following the machine, you're trying to manage reaction, stress, unpredictability.
00:07:43.372 --> 00:07:49.573
And because you want to be the nice leader, you are consistent at avoiding anything difficult, right?
00:07:49.573 --> 00:07:51.139
And that creates anxiety.
00:07:51.139 --> 00:07:57.173
People are going to stop focusing on work, on customer and process, and they're really going to start focusing on emotional survival.
00:07:57.173 --> 00:08:01.906
And because you're avoiding having a hard conversation, it's this cycle.
00:08:01.906 --> 00:08:03.805
It doesn't, it doesn't get better.
00:08:03.805 --> 00:08:13.406
I don't know why I keep going jumping to these analogies, but as soon as you said emotional survival, yeah, I think of like, suddenly your workplace is the worst game of survivor.
00:08:13.406 --> 00:08:20.139
Well, it's because I don't want to disappoint anybody and they don't want to bring me any hard information because they're either afraid I'm going to freak out or I'm just going to ignore it.
00:08:20.139 --> 00:08:20.939
Because that's the other part.
00:08:20.939 --> 00:08:25.439
If you're a pendulum in your business, emotionally, you're not.
00:08:25.439 --> 00:08:29.906
That's not the nice leader trap, but that just makes it difficult for your employees to deal with you.
00:08:29.906 --> 00:08:40.805
So and then courage, I know we usually say cares elastic leadership, but when it comes to nice leaders, we change it to courage because their care can become an excuse to not have to have a hard conversation.
00:08:40.805 --> 00:08:47.905
So nice leaders can create friction avoidance and eventually lead to destabilization and chaos because they avoid the directness.
00:08:47.905 --> 00:08:51.605
They think I'm being flexible and I'm being understanding.
00:08:52.605 --> 00:08:53.340
Right.
00:08:53.340 --> 00:08:55.972
And what employees actually experience is inconsistency.
00:08:55.972 --> 00:08:59.805
And inconsistent leadership creates hyper vigilant teams.
00:08:59.805 --> 00:09:01.505
Yeah, they're trying to manage you instead of the work.
00:09:01.505 --> 00:09:02.305
Exactly.
00:09:02.305 --> 00:09:11.706
So I mean, as a personal reflection, I've had moments as a leader where I've realized people were trying to interpret my emotional state instead of simply bringing me an issue.
00:09:11.706 --> 00:09:13.439
We don't want to stress her out.
00:09:14.706 --> 00:09:16.340
That's a culture signal.
00:09:16.340 --> 00:09:18.505
Chrissy's having a bad day, a bad day.
00:09:18.505 --> 00:09:19.639
We're gonna work from home.
00:09:19.639 --> 00:09:21.139
Or are that bad?
00:09:21.139 --> 00:09:21.373
It's.
00:09:21.373 --> 00:10:22.259
Or we don't know how is she is going to react in a way that is going to like.
00:10:22.259 --> 00:10:28.759
Because when I am in reaction mode, I will make very precise decisions and they may not be ready for those precise decisions.
00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:30.793
So I'll just avoid.
00:10:30.793 --> 00:10:32.060
I have the opposite issue.
00:10:32.060 --> 00:10:35.259
As an isolator trap, I tend to tend to do surgery.
00:10:35.259 --> 00:10:38.926
Chrissy turns into Josh when she's upset.
00:10:40.660 --> 00:10:44.660
But I mean, if they're not bringing you the issue, that's a culture signal, right?
00:10:44.660 --> 00:10:48.725
Because healthy organizations run on process, unhealthy ones run on mood.
00:10:48.725 --> 00:10:54.626
And if you're always like, no one respects me, I mean, if your team has to read your emotions to understand the rules, the culture's already unstable.
00:10:54.626 --> 00:11:06.126
And I mean, I don't we talk about it being a nice leader, but I don't think you're not being nice when you're not being direct about the business, when you're avoiding the uncomfortable conversations.
00:11:06.126 --> 00:11:07.725
So makes sense.
00:11:07.725 --> 00:11:08.026
Yeah.
00:11:08.026 --> 00:11:24.793
Well, I feel like there's a, there's a sublet that we need to go on to here in terms of like gossip culture because yeah, what, like when you see that that develops out of something, gossip culture isn't there on its own.
00:11:24.793 --> 00:11:26.026
It's a symptom of something.
00:11:26.026 --> 00:11:29.460
No. What what makes that so?
00:11:30.793 --> 00:11:35.060
I will say that gossip is usually unresolved truth.
00:11:35.060 --> 00:11:36.860
Looking for some place to land.
00:11:36.860 --> 00:11:38.560
Oh, yeah.
00:11:38.560 --> 00:11:41.293
I feel like once again, that needs to be another crazy needle point.
00:11:41.293 --> 00:11:42.660
It probably could be.
00:11:42.660 --> 00:11:48.793
And I really like that one too, because it's just, it's there is always a little bit of truth in what's going on.
00:11:48.793 --> 00:11:53.692
And I think it's easy to say that it's gossip, but a lot of times it is, it's unresolved truth that doesn't have a space to live yet.
00:11:53.692 --> 00:11:57.560
So I think I don't think that gossip culture starts with bad people.
00:11:57.560 --> 00:12:01.225
I think that gossip culture usually starts with unresolved leadership.
00:12:01.225 --> 00:12:02.692
So let's talk about clarity.
00:12:02.692 --> 00:12:08.259
If employees don't believe concerns can be addressed directly and safely, they're going to stop bringing them upward.
00:12:08.259 --> 00:12:13.593
So instead of direct conversations and clear accountability, you're getting those hallway meetings.
00:12:13.593 --> 00:12:15.692
You're getting the Slack channel venting.
00:12:15.692 --> 00:12:18.626
You're getting the private texting in the middle of the Zoom meeting.
00:12:18.626 --> 00:12:20.960
You're getting the meeting after the meeting.
00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:26.326
And that's where leaders need to hear something difficult because gossip is often, Josh.
00:12:26.326 --> 00:12:31.393
It's a symptom that people don't trust direct communication, wholeheartedly agree.
00:12:31.393 --> 00:12:33.460
They they want to talk to someone about it.
00:12:33.460 --> 00:12:37.660
They do, but they're going to talk to their buddy about it instead of someone that can do something about it.
00:12:37.660 --> 00:12:42.493
Well, they do, because they don't believe that any type of direct communication is going to lead to meaningful change.
00:12:42.493 --> 00:12:42.893
Sure.
00:12:42.893 --> 00:12:47.626
So if you don't think that anything's going to change, you're just going to continue to gossip about it.
00:12:47.626 --> 00:12:49.725
And so then there's also this vague feedback loop.
00:12:49.725 --> 00:12:52.793
Remember when like people will say, I hear rumblings.
00:12:54.293 --> 00:12:56.426
I've heard some thoughts.
00:12:56.426 --> 00:12:56.692
Right.
00:12:56.692 --> 00:12:58.793
So there's this like vague feedback loop.
00:12:58.793 --> 00:13:02.393
So I only laugh this hard because you hear it.
00:13:02.393 --> 00:13:07.893
The number of times that I have heard that we've heard rumblings of this, that and the other.
00:13:07.893 --> 00:13:08.560
Yeah.
00:13:08.560 --> 00:13:09.426
You have.
00:13:09.426 --> 00:13:09.660
Yeah.
00:13:09.660 --> 00:13:17.293
And but the ramblings come from leaders who have consistently and constantly softened correction one hundred percent.
00:13:17.293 --> 00:13:17.860
Yeah.
00:13:17.860 --> 00:13:22.093
For example, when someone says, hey, you missed this deadline, but overall, you're doing a great job.
00:13:23.826 --> 00:13:24.893
Congratulations.
00:13:24.893 --> 00:13:25.626
You're doing a great job.
00:13:25.626 --> 00:13:26.960
You buried the lead.
00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:32.893
So like, no, this, this deadline miss was a problem, period.
00:13:32.893 --> 00:13:33.993
You screwed up.
00:13:33.993 --> 00:13:34.460
Yeah.
00:13:34.460 --> 00:13:36.893
Oh that hurts, I don't want I want him to know they're doing a good job.
00:13:36.893 --> 00:13:37.192
All right.
00:13:37.192 --> 00:13:39.993
Stop erasing what the issue is, all right?
00:13:39.993 --> 00:13:48.560
Because when you do that, when you say you're doing a great job overall, after you've told somebody that they screwed up, the employee is going to leave confused.
00:13:48.560 --> 00:13:49.993
They're not going to know what they did wrong.
00:13:49.993 --> 00:13:51.860
They're not going to know if it's serious or not serious.
00:13:51.860 --> 00:13:59.259
They're not going to know what actually matters when when your correction lacks clarity, when you are too nice to give good feedback.
00:13:59.259 --> 00:14:01.692
Culture fills the gap with interpretations.
00:14:01.692 --> 00:14:05.826
And this is where I think you deal with the silence of the superstars.
00:14:05.826 --> 00:14:09.593
I mean, the most dangerous stage isn't gossip, it's silence.
00:14:09.593 --> 00:14:10.692
Yes, right.
00:14:10.692 --> 00:14:15.160
When you're level ten performers stop complaining because they realize mediocrity is tolerated.
00:14:15.160 --> 00:14:22.560
Standards are negotiable because, you know, everybody's doing a great job overall when even though they screwed up and leadership doesn't actually want that tension resolved.
00:14:22.560 --> 00:14:29.493
Because, you know, when we tell Betty she screwed up, she gets mad and then she, she, she stamps her feet and goes and slams things at her desk.
00:14:29.493 --> 00:14:31.793
And we just don't like that makes us feel uncomfortable.
00:14:31.793 --> 00:14:37.660
Like when leadership doesn't actually resolve that tension, people disengage quietly.
00:14:37.660 --> 00:14:38.960
Yes.
00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:39.259
Yeah.
00:14:39.259 --> 00:14:44.725
No, they just kind of I feel like there's that gif of Homer Simpson fading into the bush.
00:14:44.725 --> 00:14:46.426
Yes, that's exactly what people are doing.
00:14:46.426 --> 00:14:52.259
They're like, if nobody gives a crap about this because they can't have a direct conversation, because everybody needs to be nice to everybody.
00:14:52.259 --> 00:14:53.692
Why am I here?
00:14:53.692 --> 00:14:54.560
Yeah.
00:14:54.560 --> 00:14:55.725
One hundred percent.
00:14:55.725 --> 00:14:56.725
One hundred percent.
00:14:56.725 --> 00:14:57.293
Yeah.
00:14:58.626 --> 00:14:59.393
That's it.
00:15:01.560 --> 00:15:03.692
It's really that simple.
00:15:03.692 --> 00:15:07.593
How does that niceness create a barrier though?
00:15:07.593 --> 00:15:15.692
Like, I mean, we've, we've talked about like it makes people afraid to ask, but like, how did like it?
00:15:16.826 --> 00:15:19.460
How did leaders take that in the wrong direction?
00:15:19.460 --> 00:15:24.060
How do leaders create that bad environment for people to talk about stuff?
00:15:24.060 --> 00:15:28.293
I think leaders sometimes think that being nice automatically creates psychological safety.
00:15:28.293 --> 00:15:29.960
Oh, if I'm nice to them, they'll talk.
00:15:29.960 --> 00:15:30.826
They'll tell me anything.
00:15:30.826 --> 00:15:32.093
Exactly.
00:15:32.093 --> 00:15:35.160
As long as they feel warm and fuzzy, it's going to be great.
00:15:35.160 --> 00:15:37.660
They'll come back to work, they'll do their job, and they'll do a great job.
00:15:37.660 --> 00:15:38.493
And I think.
00:15:40.460 --> 00:15:45.259
Just keep telling yourself that exactly when you're being automatically nice, it creates the opposite.
00:15:45.259 --> 00:15:51.660
So when you don't have good boundaries, clear expectations with your employees, your employees don't know what's acceptable.
00:15:51.660 --> 00:15:53.860
They don't know what the real rules are.
00:15:53.860 --> 00:15:58.192
And so flexibility starts feeling emotional instead of operational.
00:15:58.192 --> 00:16:01.192
And then employees are going to start wondering a couple of things.
00:16:01.192 --> 00:16:03.225
Are they going to secretly resent this?
00:16:03.225 --> 00:16:05.826
Like, am I asking for too much?
00:16:05.826 --> 00:16:09.692
Like if they start trying to figure this out, is this is this going to change how they see me?
00:16:09.692 --> 00:16:14.026
If I ask for something or I tell them that there's an issue, is that going to change how they see me?
00:16:14.026 --> 00:16:22.826
And so because you haven't been able to have direct conversations and build standards that are clear, that's the issue that's going to continue to to be a problem.
00:16:22.826 --> 00:16:27.626
Because nice leaders often unintentionally punish honesty because they avoid direct conversations.
00:16:27.626 --> 00:16:29.826
I have had that happen in so many cases.
00:16:29.826 --> 00:16:30.093
Yeah.
00:16:30.093 --> 00:16:34.460
And then because of that, because you are unintentionally punishing honesty.
00:16:34.460 --> 00:16:39.560
Employees are going to stop asking for what they actually need because they're trying to protect the relationship.
00:16:39.560 --> 00:16:40.660
Well, I really don't want.
00:17:17.990 --> 00:17:22.890
Clearly, Josh doesn't like it when people are upset with him, so I'm just not going to upset him.
00:17:22.890 --> 00:17:25.990
So I'm just not going to tell him that this is an issue.
00:17:25.990 --> 00:17:28.190
I'm not going to tell him that there's a problem with a structure.
00:17:28.190 --> 00:17:34.056
And I think that sometimes, especially at clarity, we see this a lot with with employers that are just starting to scale their teams.
00:17:34.056 --> 00:17:37.056
They're like, I don't really think I need a lot of structure in roles.
00:17:37.056 --> 00:17:41.155
I just want because everybody gets along and everything's good and it's like, no, no, no, you don't understand.
00:17:41.155 --> 00:17:43.755
Leaders think that structure removes flexibility.
00:17:43.755 --> 00:17:45.522
It actually protects flexibility.
00:17:45.522 --> 00:17:46.755
One hundred percent.
00:17:46.755 --> 00:17:47.222
Yes.
00:17:47.222 --> 00:17:49.355
Clear boundaries, clear rules and expectations.
00:17:49.355 --> 00:17:52.222
They create fairness and fairness creates trust.
00:17:52.222 --> 00:17:55.490
And trust makes honest conversations possible.
00:17:55.490 --> 00:17:59.423
So here's a hidden irony, which I know you're not going to say is hidden at all.
00:17:59.423 --> 00:18:04.990
Um, but for some people, it may be for those who even say it, you're calling me out, I love it.
00:18:04.990 --> 00:18:09.423
Yeah, I am, because for those of you that are in your cars and you're like, I don't know if I'm the nice leader.
00:18:09.423 --> 00:18:10.289
Let's think about this.
00:18:10.289 --> 00:18:11.322
Okay.
00:18:11.322 --> 00:18:13.990
Nice leader thinks I am keeping things easy.
00:18:13.990 --> 00:18:14.322
All right.
00:18:14.322 --> 00:18:15.322
I'm just keeping it easy.
00:18:15.322 --> 00:18:16.655
We don't need regulations.
00:18:16.655 --> 00:18:17.322
We don't need rules.
00:18:17.322 --> 00:18:18.355
We don't need guardrails.
00:18:18.355 --> 00:18:26.122
But meanwhile, the team is emotionally exhausted trying to interpret reactions, avoid tension and guess expectations because they don't know what they're supposed to be doing.
00:18:26.122 --> 00:18:28.589
And true flexibility requires clear boundaries.
00:18:28.589 --> 00:18:31.789
Otherwise, everything starts to feel personal, right?
00:18:31.789 --> 00:18:36.289
Nice leadership feels good in the short term because it protects the leader from discomfort.
00:18:36.289 --> 00:18:37.822
This is not about your team.
00:18:37.822 --> 00:18:39.122
At the end of the day, nice leaders.
00:18:39.122 --> 00:18:41.423
This is all about you and not wanting to feel icky.
00:18:42.990 --> 00:18:44.155
Stop it.
00:18:44.155 --> 00:18:51.122
Because over time, what you're doing is you're creating confusion, you're creating inconsistency, and you're creating silence.
00:18:51.122 --> 00:18:54.122
If you're like, everybody's happy, when was the last time they talked to you?
00:18:54.122 --> 00:19:01.222
And you're like, I don't know if you don't know the last time somebody brought you a problem, that is a clear indicator that you might be the nice leader.
00:19:02.889 --> 00:19:04.655
That's a brilliant one.
00:19:04.655 --> 00:19:05.155
Yeah.
00:19:05.155 --> 00:19:07.022
What a, what a punch.
00:19:07.022 --> 00:19:07.522
Sorry.
00:19:07.522 --> 00:19:08.755
No it's good.
00:19:08.755 --> 00:19:09.222
I mean, it's.
00:19:09.222 --> 00:19:10.955
No. It's brilliant.
00:19:10.955 --> 00:19:12.755
Um, it's a brilliant punch because.
00:19:12.755 --> 00:19:13.022
Yeah.
00:19:13.022 --> 00:19:16.222
If you haven't heard that um that may be it.
00:19:16.222 --> 00:19:17.822
Well I just everybody feels great.
00:19:17.822 --> 00:19:18.955
Everything's great here.
00:19:18.955 --> 00:19:20.389
Everybody's happy.
00:19:20.389 --> 00:19:21.889
Are they.
00:19:21.889 --> 00:19:24.855
When was the last time you asked for feedback?
00:19:24.855 --> 00:19:31.022
Or when was the last time you had a conversation that maybe wasn't comfortable, but ended the way that it needed to, to make the business better?
00:19:31.022 --> 00:19:37.155
If you are not having those conversations ever, because you want to avoid them, because they make you feel icky, that's a problem.
00:19:37.155 --> 00:19:46.955
I, I love, I want to add something to the, when's the last time you asked for feedback is when's the last time you got feedback that wasn't comfortable?
00:19:46.955 --> 00:19:47.190
Huh.
00:19:47.190 --> 00:19:48.389
That's a really great one.
00:19:48.389 --> 00:19:48.822
Yeah.
00:19:48.822 --> 00:19:53.389
Just ask that like, look, I want like feedback that's not comfortable.
00:19:53.389 --> 00:19:53.623
Yeah.
00:19:53.623 --> 00:19:56.690
If you go around and say, hey, give me some feedback that's not comfortable.
00:19:56.690 --> 00:19:56.855
Yes.
00:19:56.855 --> 00:19:58.822
And everyone's like, no, things are good.
00:19:58.822 --> 00:20:00.556
You got you got yourself a problem.
00:20:00.556 --> 00:20:01.389
Yes.
00:20:01.389 --> 00:20:03.089
You got a problem.
00:20:03.089 --> 00:20:12.190
It's a big one because I guarantee that their spouse or partner knows all of the problems with your business.
00:20:12.190 --> 00:20:12.822
Yes.
00:20:14.855 --> 00:20:18.623
So maybe don't ask the people in the business, ask their partners, their partners.
00:20:18.623 --> 00:20:19.955
Okay.
00:20:19.955 --> 00:20:20.355
All right.
00:20:20.355 --> 00:20:22.455
So we realize that we're a nice leader.
00:20:22.455 --> 00:20:23.056
Josh.
00:20:23.056 --> 00:20:23.455
Ouch.
00:20:23.455 --> 00:20:24.623
Yeah.
00:20:24.623 --> 00:20:24.955
Yeah.
00:20:24.955 --> 00:20:26.490
And then we gotta fix it.
00:20:26.490 --> 00:20:33.623
How do you fix it operationally without swinging the pendulum too far and becoming the maniacal dictator?
00:20:35.355 --> 00:20:40.855
Because I feel like there like we had this, there is an assessment we called like circles.
00:20:40.855 --> 00:20:43.155
There's like circle, square, squiggle, squiggle triangle.
00:20:43.155 --> 00:20:45.056
We used to do this in our office all the time.
00:20:45.056 --> 00:20:49.623
And we talk about how like at some point in time circles will realize that they've been taken advantage by everyone.
00:20:49.623 --> 00:20:51.222
They become angry squares.
00:20:51.222 --> 00:20:55.389
So, you know, I call it, how do we prevent people from being an angry square?
00:20:55.389 --> 00:20:57.423
How do they establish operational boundaries?
00:20:59.423 --> 00:21:19.755
To me, as soon as you said becoming a dictator, all I can think of is Sacha Baron Cohen and I just went to because the problem is what's funny is, is when you anytime you've seen a nice leader, try and get this under wraps quickly, they turn into Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator.
00:21:19.755 --> 00:21:20.255
Yes.
00:21:20.255 --> 00:21:22.589
I mean, it's the most comical thing to watch.
00:21:22.589 --> 00:21:23.990
You're like, oh, that's cute.
00:21:25.255 --> 00:21:27.955
You don't know how to do this, do you?
00:21:27.955 --> 00:21:28.955
To me, it's one.
00:21:28.955 --> 00:21:29.955
It's fixed.
00:21:29.955 --> 00:21:33.822
It's get back to logic based decisions and do that with a log.
00:21:33.822 --> 00:21:35.789
Stop making the one off decisions.
00:21:35.789 --> 00:21:38.155
Well, we'll bend it this time.
00:21:38.155 --> 00:21:41.855
Um, don't do that based on your hallway conversation.
00:21:41.855 --> 00:21:42.755
Anything like that.
00:21:42.755 --> 00:21:47.190
Now, what I'm going to say is in many cases those are gut decisions.
00:21:47.190 --> 00:21:49.289
Like it's the hallway pass decisions.
00:21:49.289 --> 00:21:51.623
Um, you should acknowledge your gut feelings.
00:21:51.623 --> 00:21:52.655
Typically they have merit.
00:21:52.655 --> 00:21:54.955
They're built on experience, but they are not.
00:21:54.955 --> 00:22:00.089
The decision makers use the gut feeling as a signal to look at the data.
00:22:00.089 --> 00:22:00.589
Yes.
00:22:00.589 --> 00:22:02.990
Be perfectly fine with saying, hey, I need to look at some stuff.
00:22:02.990 --> 00:22:04.355
I'll get back to you on this.
00:22:04.355 --> 00:22:05.990
Um, audit this.
00:22:05.990 --> 00:22:10.089
Once again when a request for flexibility or change comes in.
00:22:10.089 --> 00:22:12.655
You have to move to mechanics.
00:22:12.655 --> 00:22:20.022
And what I'm going to tell you is every decision does not need a twenty page analysis, which is probably surprising to hear from me.
00:22:20.022 --> 00:22:22.623
Uh, yeah, I would agree.
00:22:22.623 --> 00:22:28.490
But what I am going to say is you need to take a quick pause before you blurt out an answer.
00:22:28.490 --> 00:22:39.455
Ten to fifteen seconds can make a massive difference in clarity in decision making, because too many times we make that quick decision just to be nice or helpful in the moment.
00:22:39.455 --> 00:22:41.155
Hey, boss, can I do this?
00:22:42.355 --> 00:22:47.690
Uh. Now you can make your decision.
00:22:47.690 --> 00:22:54.623
Um, if you just give them the yes or no right off the bat, probably you're making the wrong decision.
00:22:54.623 --> 00:22:55.789
Uh, look at the data.
00:22:55.789 --> 00:22:56.455
Whenever you can.
00:22:56.455 --> 00:22:57.455
Look at data.
00:22:57.455 --> 00:22:59.255
Hard data.
00:22:59.255 --> 00:23:00.589
You know what I'm referring to with this?
00:23:00.589 --> 00:23:01.789
Numbers?
00:23:01.789 --> 00:23:03.022
Give me, give.
00:23:03.022 --> 00:23:04.056
Give me the numbers.
00:23:04.056 --> 00:23:04.690
Give me the numbers.
00:23:04.690 --> 00:23:06.389
Give me all the numbers, please.
00:23:06.389 --> 00:23:10.022
What does it say about the performance, current performance or state of the machine?
00:23:10.022 --> 00:23:12.389
Now, the other piece to that is, is consult.
00:23:12.389 --> 00:23:13.822
Consult the standard process.
00:23:13.822 --> 00:23:19.755
Now I've seen it where like someone will ask like, hey, can we do things a little bit differently?
00:23:19.755 --> 00:23:25.889
Does this like, does this align with the fundamental logic of how we normally do things?
00:23:25.889 --> 00:23:33.490
Are we just winging this for like, hey, I want to take my break twenty minutes early because I'm, I'm hungry.
00:23:33.490 --> 00:23:36.690
No, no, no, you've got to look at like, does this fit?
00:23:36.690 --> 00:23:37.190
Yeah.
00:23:37.190 --> 00:23:41.556
Like if you take your break twenty minutes early, everyone else is going to be like waiting for work to do.
00:23:41.556 --> 00:23:57.889
No. Um, it's figuring out does this fit for nice reasons or is this fitting logically with that, analyze those secondary effects like, and this is part of that fifteen seconds at least if you aren't taking longer for this.
00:23:57.889 --> 00:24:08.222
Um, if, if it's no good to save five tokens for person A If it's going to cost you ten, fifteen, twenty tokens in another spot.
00:24:08.222 --> 00:24:11.589
And I see it all of the time.
00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:14.490
Hey boss, can I just skip this part?
00:24:14.490 --> 00:24:16.655
I mean, it's not necessary.
00:24:16.655 --> 00:24:23.655
Um, meanwhile, Betty in Accounting is ready to come over and burn the entire sales floor to the ground.
00:24:23.655 --> 00:24:27.490
Yes, because now she has four hours extra work.
00:24:27.490 --> 00:24:29.355
Because you didn't check that one box?
00:24:29.355 --> 00:24:29.955
Nope.
00:24:29.955 --> 00:24:31.755
Um, follow any process.
00:24:31.755 --> 00:24:32.389
Correct.
00:24:32.389 --> 00:24:33.855
Or crap over the wall.
00:24:35.056 --> 00:24:37.056
Giant bucket without the bucket?
00:24:37.056 --> 00:24:37.655
Yes.
00:24:37.655 --> 00:24:44.022
Uh, um, the other thing is too is I always say verify the decision boundary.
00:24:44.022 --> 00:24:50.056
Does this request fall into a zone where the employee actually they already have autonomy.
00:24:50.056 --> 00:25:00.655
Um, if, if they already have autonomy on this, you've given them that, you've made it clear that they have this and they're asking you get a nice leader problem.
00:25:00.655 --> 00:25:01.755
Mhm.
00:25:01.755 --> 00:25:05.855
I mean, you're trying to defend boundary using data, not a mood.
00:25:05.855 --> 00:25:14.089
And if they need to ask you, even though they have the data and they've been told they can do it, they're trying to figure out is this going to make Josh happy?
00:25:14.089 --> 00:25:14.655
Guess what?
00:25:14.655 --> 00:25:15.923
You're the nice leader.
00:25:15.923 --> 00:25:20.255
And the problem is, in so many cases, the nice leaders aren't even really that nice of people.
00:25:20.255 --> 00:25:22.822
No, they're just avoidant.
00:25:22.822 --> 00:25:23.655
That's it.
00:25:24.889 --> 00:25:26.556
Um. Or chicken?
00:25:26.556 --> 00:25:27.089
Well, just.
00:25:27.089 --> 00:25:27.655
Yeah.
00:25:27.655 --> 00:25:28.123
The chicken.
00:25:28.123 --> 00:25:29.255
The chicken boss.
00:25:29.255 --> 00:25:34.355
Um, I maybe I should wear a chicken costume for this next time we talk about this subject.
00:25:34.355 --> 00:25:38.190
Um, the other thing is too is I want to say we needed to make this.
00:25:38.190 --> 00:25:41.623
We need to make decisions by design, not by desire.
00:25:41.623 --> 00:25:43.355
Um, the process is the filter.
00:25:43.355 --> 00:25:47.722
You aren't being a mean boss by saying no, the process is why we're doing it this way.
00:25:47.722 --> 00:25:49.423
We know the process.
00:25:49.423 --> 00:25:52.822
Um, you wanted to take a shortcut isn't being mean.
00:25:52.822 --> 00:25:57.855
It's saying like, look, this is the process and the data is the secondary filter.
00:25:57.855 --> 00:26:07.423
If once again, if you run the data, run the information and run it all through the established process that is going to give you a decision on like, hey, can I do this?
00:26:07.423 --> 00:26:09.022
Can I not do this?
00:26:09.022 --> 00:26:13.322
That's once again, a way to fix being the nice boss.
00:26:13.322 --> 00:26:13.889
Yes.
00:26:13.889 --> 00:26:22.222
Um, the, the shift with this is you aren't because what this does is this takes the impetus off of the boss for making the decision.
00:26:22.222 --> 00:26:25.722
Because now the data is making the decision.
00:26:25.722 --> 00:26:29.322
You're merely observing that outcome of the logic.
00:26:29.322 --> 00:26:32.990
You're not being like, well, Bob will feel good if I do this.
00:26:32.990 --> 00:26:36.556
No, no, Bob doesn't need to feel good.
00:26:36.556 --> 00:26:37.923
Bob needs to get his stuff done.
00:26:37.923 --> 00:26:38.789
He needs to do the job.
00:26:38.789 --> 00:26:42.089
If if you guide Bob correctly, Bob will feel good anyways.
00:26:42.089 --> 00:26:43.322
Yes.
00:26:43.322 --> 00:26:48.855
Um, fix number two is mandating the pre-brief before every project.
00:26:48.855 --> 00:26:56.655
I see this all the time to nice leaders give vague instructions because they don't want to sound demanding or bossy.
00:26:56.655 --> 00:26:57.190
Oh gosh.
00:26:57.190 --> 00:27:03.455
Yeah, and the team is left playing like, hey, we get to play the interpretation game.
00:27:03.455 --> 00:27:04.889
What did he actually mean by this?
00:27:04.889 --> 00:27:05.490
Yeah.
00:27:05.490 --> 00:27:06.455
Hey, guys, do the thing.
00:27:06.455 --> 00:27:07.822
Like last time.
00:27:07.822 --> 00:27:08.556
Which last time?
00:27:08.556 --> 00:27:10.655
We've done it five different ways.
00:27:10.655 --> 00:27:11.623
Which one?
00:27:11.623 --> 00:27:11.889
One.
00:27:11.889 --> 00:27:12.089
Two.
00:27:12.089 --> 00:27:12.289
Three.
00:27:12.289 --> 00:27:12.556
Four.
00:27:12.556 --> 00:27:14.056
Five.
00:27:14.056 --> 00:27:16.655
Or the one that we're supposed to do that we never have.
00:27:18.022 --> 00:27:20.089
The one that's written down.
00:27:20.089 --> 00:27:21.322
That's the one we're supposed to do.
00:27:21.322 --> 00:27:21.789
Oh yeah.
00:27:21.789 --> 00:27:22.089
The one.
00:27:22.089 --> 00:27:22.322
Yeah.
00:27:22.322 --> 00:27:23.923
The one that's written down that we've never done.
00:27:23.923 --> 00:27:26.556
I like that you've experienced that one.
00:27:26.556 --> 00:27:28.490
Yeah, I have that one.
00:27:28.490 --> 00:27:29.655
Not in my business.
00:27:29.655 --> 00:27:31.056
Other people's businesses.
00:27:31.056 --> 00:27:31.490
Yes.
00:27:31.490 --> 00:27:31.822
Yeah.
00:27:31.822 --> 00:27:34.190
Knowing you that definitely wouldn't happen in your business.
00:27:34.190 --> 00:27:34.990
No it does not.
00:27:34.990 --> 00:27:42.490
We would be finding bits of Chrissy spread across the countryside because her brain would have exploded, or my people would have been so mad because they are process driven.
00:27:42.490 --> 00:27:44.623
Yes, yes to me.
00:27:44.623 --> 00:27:47.690
So like when we talk about fixing like this.
00:27:47.690 --> 00:27:52.722
Pre-brief define clear directions for desired outcomes like destination first.
00:27:52.722 --> 00:27:55.722
I always tell people, you tell people exactly where you're going.
00:27:55.722 --> 00:27:57.490
Yeah, I don't say go to Cleveland.
00:27:57.490 --> 00:28:00.855
I say go to the beach house at Edgewater Park.
00:28:00.855 --> 00:28:04.623
That is a specific place, not just go to Cleveland.
00:28:04.623 --> 00:28:15.289
You have to make sure that you tell them exactly where to go and then explain, like for the people that are doing tasks within this, you need to explain the secondary impact.
00:28:15.289 --> 00:28:23.022
People that are doing tasks, like if they feel like just a cog and whatever machine, that doesn't matter.
00:28:23.022 --> 00:28:23.789
Guess what?
00:28:23.789 --> 00:28:28.855
If they feel like a garage roller where they're like, if you pull one of them out, it doesn't matter to the garage door.
00:28:28.855 --> 00:28:30.722
Yeah, they're going to know.
00:28:30.722 --> 00:28:32.322
People like to know they matter.
00:28:32.322 --> 00:28:35.455
People like to know they matter why they're doing the thing, correct.
00:28:35.455 --> 00:28:37.655
Because otherwise they just feel like, great.
00:28:37.655 --> 00:28:43.923
This is another checkbox that the CEO just thinks is important, even though it's not related to the process.
00:28:43.923 --> 00:28:57.056
Um, the other thing that I look at with that is what I always tell people is like a great example is like, we need to chat, we need to make sure that this report is accurate because this is going to be used to decide, can we hire more people?
00:28:57.056 --> 00:28:58.322
Can we get you help?
00:28:58.322 --> 00:29:03.889
Can we do more things with this if people know the effect of this, not just, hey, can you give me those reports?
00:29:03.889 --> 00:29:06.123
Um, there's a big difference with that.
00:29:06.123 --> 00:29:09.789
Hey, can you give me those reports because I'm trying to make a decision on this.
00:29:09.789 --> 00:29:10.423
Holy cow.
00:29:10.423 --> 00:29:10.923
Does that make.
00:29:10.923 --> 00:29:12.056
Oh, yeah, I've got to do that.
00:29:12.056 --> 00:29:13.556
Yeah, I see value.
00:29:13.556 --> 00:29:14.423
One hundred percent.
00:29:14.423 --> 00:29:22.655
Not only do they see value, but they're probably going to give you a better version of the reports because they know what you want and why the heck you want it, why it's important.
00:29:22.655 --> 00:29:29.222
Um, if you operationalize the roadmap, you now have defined the destination and the people work.
00:29:29.222 --> 00:29:34.322
Doing the work should be the ones that are, they're the ones that are making the map.
00:29:34.322 --> 00:29:42.355
Um, once again, I, if I say Edgewater Park, the, the beach house there at Edgewater Park, I'm not going to tell you how to get there.
00:29:42.355 --> 00:29:47.322
I'm if I say be there at ten o'clock, I'm just just going to assume that you can figure it out.
00:29:47.322 --> 00:29:48.190
You're going to get there.
00:29:48.190 --> 00:29:48.690
Yeah.
00:29:48.690 --> 00:29:51.855
Um, and if we've got an SOP for that, you're going to take that.
00:29:51.855 --> 00:29:58.690
If we have an SOP that says take seventy seven to ninety, then you're going to take seventy seven to ninety.
00:29:58.690 --> 00:30:00.822
And I'm going to be upset if you don't.
00:30:00.822 --> 00:30:03.123
If there's no SOP for it, then make sure.
00:30:03.123 --> 00:30:03.855
Just get there.
00:30:03.855 --> 00:30:04.990
Just get there.
00:30:04.990 --> 00:30:06.855
I don't take a horse.
00:30:06.855 --> 00:30:07.822
Take a bike.
00:30:07.822 --> 00:30:08.623
I don't care.
00:30:08.623 --> 00:30:10.423
Just be there at the right time.
00:30:10.423 --> 00:30:24.623
Um, the other thing is the clearest kind protocol is once again, when we've got that done definition, we've got to like, like what I hate is that when people can you do the thing for me?
00:30:24.623 --> 00:30:25.222
Okay.
00:30:25.222 --> 00:30:27.222
But like, how should this end up?
00:30:27.222 --> 00:30:27.455
Yeah.
00:30:27.455 --> 00:30:28.190
What thing?
00:30:28.190 --> 00:30:29.423
Right, right.
00:30:29.423 --> 00:30:30.056
And it's funny.
00:30:30.056 --> 00:30:41.255
I mean, when I used to be in the, the truck sales end of things, like we, we'd go down and we're like specking fuel tanks, like where they go on the truck because that makes a difference.
00:30:41.255 --> 00:30:54.255
If I put a fuel tank in just a random spot in a truck, right, it you need to ask these things or as the, as the leader, you need to fix or tell people exactly where you're headed.
00:30:54.255 --> 00:30:58.722
Last thing is, I want to say the fix number three is the friction audit.
00:30:58.722 --> 00:31:00.190
This is the big one.
00:31:00.190 --> 00:31:02.355
Um, instead, like, I always hate it.
00:31:02.355 --> 00:31:04.255
How's everyone doing?
00:31:04.255 --> 00:31:05.322
Oh, I hate that.
00:31:05.322 --> 00:31:06.789
Because you know the answer.
00:31:06.789 --> 00:31:08.455
You're gonna get fine.
00:31:08.455 --> 00:31:11.990
Uh, see, I, like you're fine.
00:31:11.990 --> 00:31:14.155
Was pretty dismissive there.
00:31:14.155 --> 00:31:15.722
I'm fine.
00:31:17.190 --> 00:31:18.556
I'm gonna sound like your.
00:31:18.556 --> 00:31:19.155
How's it going?
00:31:19.155 --> 00:31:21.722
It's going right.
00:31:21.722 --> 00:31:22.690
Living the dream.
00:31:22.690 --> 00:31:23.490
Living the dream.
00:31:23.490 --> 00:31:25.889
Living the dream is always the warning sign to me.
00:31:25.889 --> 00:31:27.722
I'm like, oh, this.
00:31:27.722 --> 00:31:29.589
I'm gonna see this person on a roof.
00:31:30.923 --> 00:31:43.490
Um, to me, I always say like, like we have a machine breaking meeting is what I always like to say, like, because once again, now you're putting this on the machine, not the people.
00:31:43.490 --> 00:31:44.255
There's no blame.
00:31:44.255 --> 00:31:45.690
It's not Bob's fault.
00:31:45.690 --> 00:31:46.589
It's the machine.
00:31:46.589 --> 00:31:48.123
How's the machine working?
00:31:48.123 --> 00:31:49.289
Monthly, quarterly.
00:31:49.289 --> 00:31:50.690
It's got to be objective.
00:31:50.690 --> 00:31:52.490
So it's got to be data centric.
00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:57.123
Every department brings three examples of friction or rework from the last thirty days.
00:31:57.123 --> 00:31:58.889
Like, where's the problems?
00:31:58.889 --> 00:32:00.990
Let's talk about these problems openly.
00:32:00.990 --> 00:32:02.123
If you do this.
00:32:02.123 --> 00:32:10.955
If you're willing to have these conversations, you're now establishing that you're not the nice leader because we're willing to talk about when stuff isn't so good.
00:32:10.955 --> 00:32:13.722
We've all got friends that we can't say like, how's life?
00:32:13.722 --> 00:32:14.855
Oh, good.
00:32:14.855 --> 00:32:16.255
Things are great.
00:32:16.255 --> 00:32:20.889
Um, there's times where, I mean, you and I are close enough friends now where we can come in and like, how's life?
00:32:20.889 --> 00:32:22.955
I am ready to lose my mind.
00:32:22.955 --> 00:32:23.556
Mhm.
00:32:23.556 --> 00:32:27.089
Um, and it's, but because once again, we've built that rapport.
00:32:27.089 --> 00:32:27.556
Yes.
00:32:27.556 --> 00:32:28.889
It doesn't occur naturally.
00:32:28.889 --> 00:32:30.389
No. And it doesn't happen tomorrow.
00:32:30.389 --> 00:32:34.556
No. So this is why this is part of that friction audit.
00:32:34.556 --> 00:32:36.923
And this is why you need to implement that.
00:32:37.923 --> 00:32:39.690
Otherwise you turn into the dictator.
00:32:39.690 --> 00:32:40.556
Fix the things.
00:32:40.556 --> 00:32:42.155
I'm done being nice.
00:32:42.155 --> 00:32:44.589
No this is hey what's wrong?
00:32:44.589 --> 00:32:45.955
Let's talk about what's broken.
00:32:45.955 --> 00:32:54.155
Now, if no one's willing to tell you what's broken, you definitely know you have the problem and you need to go look for stuff that's broken and to get people on board to help you fix it.
00:32:54.155 --> 00:32:57.522
Um, the thing that I always say with this too is there's the operational debt tracking.
00:32:57.522 --> 00:33:00.755
Calculate the actual cost of these exceptions.
00:33:00.755 --> 00:33:03.389
We skipped step four for that nice client.
00:33:03.389 --> 00:33:06.556
It cost us six hours of unbilled labor.
00:33:06.556 --> 00:33:07.655
That's a bad thing.
00:33:07.655 --> 00:33:08.889
Yes.
00:33:08.889 --> 00:33:12.190
What are good things and bad things that are happening this way?
00:33:12.190 --> 00:33:14.655
Here's the thing that I that I really see with this.
00:33:14.655 --> 00:33:18.322
And you have to operationalize consistency.
00:33:18.322 --> 00:33:24.056
We talked, I believe it was the last episode about how I've eaten eggs for sixteen years now for breakfast every day.
00:33:25.355 --> 00:33:27.755
People know what's going to happen when I show up.
00:33:27.755 --> 00:33:29.855
People are going to know how I can be in a good mood.
00:33:29.855 --> 00:33:30.722
I can be in a bad mood.
00:33:30.722 --> 00:33:31.855
It doesn't matter.
00:33:31.855 --> 00:33:33.089
The answer is still going to be the same.
00:33:33.089 --> 00:33:33.690
Yep.
00:33:33.690 --> 00:33:41.889
People know that if results are inconsistent, you, you, you only have the mirror to look into.
00:33:41.889 --> 00:33:47.923
Um, I if if there's an issue with stuff like that audit the process is documentation clear?
00:33:47.923 --> 00:33:49.522
Did the team have the tools?
00:33:49.522 --> 00:33:53.255
If the SOP is shaky, fix that machine.
00:33:53.255 --> 00:33:56.755
More than likely, it's the operator of the machine.
00:33:56.755 --> 00:33:57.955
Who's the operator?
00:33:57.955 --> 00:33:58.789
You.
00:34:01.522 --> 00:34:02.855
You're breaking it?
00:34:02.855 --> 00:34:03.855
Correct.
00:34:03.855 --> 00:34:07.155
Bulldozers don't typically grade a surface.
00:34:07.155 --> 00:34:08.490
Wrong.
00:34:08.490 --> 00:34:12.090
The operator grades the surface wrong.
00:34:12.090 --> 00:34:14.356
It's not the bulldozers fault.
00:34:14.356 --> 00:34:15.923
It's the operator's fault.
00:34:15.923 --> 00:34:17.789
You are the operator.
00:34:17.789 --> 00:34:18.789
The end result of all this.
00:34:18.789 --> 00:34:20.090
If you're willing to talk about these.
00:34:20.090 --> 00:34:21.289
And if you're willing to build these.
00:34:21.289 --> 00:34:23.090
This builds the.
00:34:23.090 --> 00:34:31.755
This builds the confidence through operations and making it so your people can talk to you about stuff and that people can talk to you about stuff.
00:34:31.755 --> 00:34:33.389
Communication is always a two way street.
00:34:33.389 --> 00:34:33.889
Yeah.
00:34:33.889 --> 00:34:36.356
If they can finally talk to you, that's what you have to work on.
00:34:36.356 --> 00:34:40.389
If they can finally talk to you, then you can have the direct conversations with them.
00:34:40.389 --> 00:34:45.556
There is like you move, you move from mood to machine.
00:34:45.556 --> 00:34:54.089
No, I don't expect everyone to turn into the machine that like, like the lack of mood that I have in some cases when it comes to dealing with stuff like this.
00:34:54.089 --> 00:35:01.589
In the same sense, though, that ability to kind of calm that down, pull that back and look at the processes and be like, okay, where's this at?
00:35:01.589 --> 00:35:06.955
Well, it doesn't mean that you're not going to get hijacked occasionally by an emotional wave, but it does make it easier for you to navigate it.
00:35:06.955 --> 00:35:09.455
Exactly one hundred percent.
00:35:09.455 --> 00:35:12.389
Um, how do you handle the.
00:35:12.389 --> 00:35:15.123
But I thought we were friends.
00:35:16.389 --> 00:35:16.955
Oh.
00:35:19.255 --> 00:35:19.522
Okay.
00:35:19.522 --> 00:35:20.955
How do you handle this?
00:35:20.955 --> 00:35:23.755
First of all, you should never have that issue.
00:35:23.755 --> 00:35:26.755
If you do, then we've got some serious nice problems.
00:35:26.755 --> 00:35:29.089
So I knew you were going to be annoyed by this question.
00:35:29.089 --> 00:35:30.155
That's what I was looking for.
00:35:30.155 --> 00:35:30.655
It in our notes.
00:35:30.655 --> 00:35:32.255
And I'm like, why are we talking about this?
00:35:32.255 --> 00:35:34.955
Um. I'm excited.
00:35:34.955 --> 00:35:35.556
Exactly.
00:35:35.556 --> 00:35:36.922
Friendship versus leadership.
00:35:36.922 --> 00:35:40.389
So friendship says, I don't want you uncomfortable, right?
00:35:40.389 --> 00:35:42.789
Leadership says I care enough to tell you the truth.
00:35:42.789 --> 00:35:49.789
And when you are leading people like at work, you, the people that report to you are not your friends.
00:35:49.789 --> 00:35:56.855
No, I don't know how many times I've had to explain this to people, especially when we promote someone not in our organization because we get it.
00:35:56.855 --> 00:36:08.389
But like when we promote someone in another organization and we have to have the conversation with their upper leadership of this person may not be ready to move forward because their friendships are more important than being a manager.
00:36:08.389 --> 00:36:09.055
Yep.
00:36:09.055 --> 00:36:13.355
And so if you want promoted, be prepared to let your relationships change.
00:36:13.355 --> 00:36:17.289
So I, I want to go to Michael Scott real quick.
00:36:17.289 --> 00:36:17.889
Yeah.
00:36:17.889 --> 00:36:20.122
I want everyone to be afraid of how much they love me.
00:36:20.122 --> 00:36:24.322
No, no, don't be Michael Scott.
00:36:24.322 --> 00:36:25.455
Don't be Michael Scott.
00:36:25.455 --> 00:36:30.155
At the same time, you talk about Olivia Pope in scandal when Oliver people are like over a cliff was what they would say for her.
00:36:30.155 --> 00:36:31.889
So we'll go over a cliff for our person.
00:36:31.889 --> 00:36:35.389
I mean it there, there are different ends of the spectrum.
00:36:35.389 --> 00:36:40.289
So I will say this leaders have to stop viewing directness as rejection.
00:36:40.289 --> 00:36:40.922
Yep.
00:36:40.922 --> 00:36:42.489
Clear feedback is not cruelty.
00:36:42.489 --> 00:36:44.755
It's respectful to the people that you're working with.
00:36:44.755 --> 00:36:54.355
And if one honest conversation completely changes your relationship, the relationship was probably built more on comfort than it was on trust.
00:36:54.355 --> 00:36:54.722
Yeah.
00:36:54.722 --> 00:36:57.389
So. And that that's your fault.
00:36:57.389 --> 00:36:58.889
That's your you did it wrong.
00:36:58.889 --> 00:36:59.322
Yeah.
00:36:59.322 --> 00:37:00.355
I thought we were friends.
00:37:00.355 --> 00:37:01.655
We were never friends.
00:37:01.655 --> 00:37:04.589
That's when somebody ever says that to me in a leadership situation.
00:37:04.589 --> 00:37:06.455
I'm like, no, we were never friends.
00:37:06.455 --> 00:37:08.055
They're never gonna say that.
00:37:09.289 --> 00:37:09.955
We have rapport.
00:37:09.955 --> 00:37:11.255
We have healthy respect.
00:37:11.255 --> 00:37:13.855
But it's why I don't have friends.
00:37:13.855 --> 00:37:17.122
I mean, I know there's a lot of reasons why I don't have friends, but it makes it easier.
00:37:17.122 --> 00:37:18.089
Yeah.
00:37:18.089 --> 00:37:23.655
Um, something that I have seen too, and I've, I've seen this in a couple of businesses.
00:37:23.655 --> 00:37:29.589
Uh, a lot of nice leaders are like, I need Billy badass.
00:37:29.589 --> 00:37:33.289
Um, as my, and I, this is so mean.
00:37:33.289 --> 00:37:34.889
The good cop, bad cop.
00:37:34.889 --> 00:37:36.989
I hate this more than I thought we were friends.
00:37:36.989 --> 00:37:48.955
Uh. I am just gonna ask questions that are more and more irritating to Chrissie, until eventually we get to the point where she's just gonna storm out of the studio.
00:37:48.955 --> 00:37:50.389
Stay tuned for that.
00:37:51.989 --> 00:37:54.022
I mean, because there are times where I've had to have these.
00:37:54.022 --> 00:37:56.122
Well, I'll just look at them and go, do you need me to be bad cop?
00:37:56.122 --> 00:38:00.555
And when I say that, I mean, like, are you absolutely incapable of having this conversation?
00:38:00.555 --> 00:38:01.689
This isn't the consulting side.
00:38:01.689 --> 00:38:04.155
Like if we have clients, there are times where we'll look on the HR side.
00:38:04.155 --> 00:38:05.855
I've watched my people do it.
00:38:05.855 --> 00:38:09.089
Do you just need us to do a thing because you are incapable?
00:38:09.089 --> 00:38:11.189
It's okay if you are because that's why you pay us.
00:38:11.189 --> 00:38:11.522
But.
00:38:11.522 --> 00:38:12.189
Right.
00:38:12.189 --> 00:38:16.189
It drives me to a point of frustration.
00:38:16.189 --> 00:38:16.589
Okay?
00:38:16.589 --> 00:38:22.555
Because the owner gets to say this is because usually it's the owner that has to be good cop, right?
00:38:22.555 --> 00:38:25.522
It is owner stays emotionally protected is the nice one.
00:38:25.522 --> 00:38:32.822
And then the manager, the person who's actually doing the work and running the business is the one that has to be the enforcer that everybody resents.
00:38:32.822 --> 00:38:37.289
And you create a can you feel my irritation?
00:38:38.455 --> 00:38:44.122
I feel like you're going to turn into the enforcer here soon because you've created a divided leadership structure.
00:38:44.122 --> 00:38:45.822
Oh, one hundred percent you have.
00:38:45.822 --> 00:38:49.722
And I'm sorry, leaders cannot outsource courage, right?
00:38:49.722 --> 00:38:54.689
You can pay other people to do that for you, but you cannot outsource when it comes to your leadership team.
00:38:54.689 --> 00:38:56.322
You bring in a consultant to do that work.
00:38:56.322 --> 00:38:59.022
You bring in an HR consultant, fine.
00:38:59.022 --> 00:39:03.222
But if you struggle with directness, the answer is to build the skill.
00:39:03.222 --> 00:39:06.855
It's not to hire someone to carry the emotional weight for you.
00:39:06.855 --> 00:39:07.922
We we will.
00:39:07.922 --> 00:39:13.389
We will be that person for a moment at clarity, but we are not going to be that person forever.
00:39:13.389 --> 00:39:20.122
We are going to train you to do the thing, and if you are not able to do the thing, then you don't live in our client value of being coachable and open to change.
00:39:20.122 --> 00:39:21.355
So we're going to cut you.
00:39:22.455 --> 00:39:34.722
I physically know the thing that I see that that I see that happens with this on the back end of that is when you were a little kid.
00:39:34.722 --> 00:39:45.555
And like, for me, if I didn't get something from mom, I asked dad, no. And that's what good cop bad cop turns into.
00:39:45.555 --> 00:39:58.322
If, if I, if, if the manager's the bad cop and the owners, the good cop, I bypass the manager for all the decisions that I want and go to the owner and be like, hey, he's got no spine.
00:39:58.322 --> 00:40:00.955
Our kids know we never ask mom certain things.
00:40:00.955 --> 00:40:02.622
We never ask dad certain things.
00:40:02.622 --> 00:40:06.089
No, no. Well, here's the.
00:40:06.089 --> 00:40:17.289
And the other thing too, is if you have, you have more than one business owner and you have a good cop business owner and a bad cop business owner, you have split your culture in half.
00:40:17.289 --> 00:40:19.022
One, you have no culture.
00:40:19.022 --> 00:40:19.855
You have no culture.
00:40:19.855 --> 00:40:26.189
It's it's whatever randomness and it's whatever fits what the people want that day.
00:40:26.189 --> 00:40:26.422
Yep.
00:40:26.422 --> 00:40:28.755
And that is the definition of a toxic work environment.
00:40:28.755 --> 00:40:32.589
So I mean, you, you, we do not outsource courage.
00:40:32.589 --> 00:40:33.822
We build the skill.
00:40:35.955 --> 00:40:39.789
I feel like we're gonna have a lot of yellow brick road comments on this.
00:40:39.789 --> 00:40:41.689
Um, I want to revisit.
00:40:41.689 --> 00:40:43.789
We talked last week about the Saturday test.
00:40:43.789 --> 00:40:44.722
Yeah.
00:40:44.722 --> 00:40:52.755
Um, if you're a nice leader, you are probably working on your Saturday fixing things Because you were too nice to them on Tuesday.
00:40:52.755 --> 00:40:52.989
Yeah.
00:40:52.989 --> 00:40:55.555
You didn't tell him to do the job or they needed to redo it.
00:40:55.555 --> 00:40:57.155
Absolutely.
00:40:57.155 --> 00:40:59.022
You're the one that's in there Saturday.
00:40:59.022 --> 00:40:59.389
Yeah.
00:40:59.389 --> 00:40:59.855
And you're.
00:40:59.855 --> 00:41:00.222
Yeah.
00:41:00.222 --> 00:41:09.622
If you're working on a Saturday because you didn't tell your people that they needed to do the thing the right way or you wouldn't tell them when they were doing it wrong.
00:41:09.622 --> 00:41:10.755
I mean, it's avoidance.
00:41:10.755 --> 00:41:16.722
Avoidance always collects interest always avoidance.
00:41:16.722 --> 00:41:21.789
And avoidance is expensive if you take nothing else from this conversation.
00:41:21.789 --> 00:41:27.122
No. You want a toxic work environment, have bad cop, good cop in your management style one hundred percent.
00:41:27.122 --> 00:41:31.622
You want to pay a ton of interest and be resentful on your weekends.
00:41:31.622 --> 00:41:32.722
Be the nice leader.
00:41:32.722 --> 00:41:33.389
Yeah.
00:41:33.389 --> 00:41:34.289
It's funny.
00:41:34.289 --> 00:41:34.855
Bad cop.
00:41:34.855 --> 00:41:37.455
Bad cop is better than good cop.
00:41:37.455 --> 00:41:37.955
Bad cop.
00:41:37.955 --> 00:41:38.789
Oh, absolutely.
00:41:38.789 --> 00:41:40.689
Because hands down, at least people know what to expect.
00:41:40.689 --> 00:41:41.455
Yes.
00:41:41.455 --> 00:41:43.589
I mean, once again, if I'm walking into a shitstorm.
00:41:43.589 --> 00:41:45.155
I want to know which way the wind is blowing.
00:41:45.155 --> 00:41:48.022
And that way, at least I know the which way the wind is blowing.
00:41:48.022 --> 00:41:49.422
Yes.
00:41:49.422 --> 00:41:50.955
Uh, for our quick shots.
00:41:50.955 --> 00:41:55.789
To me, like some of the actionable, actionable things from this is, first off, the mood mirror.
00:41:55.789 --> 00:41:57.222
Ask a trusted peer mentor.
00:41:57.222 --> 00:41:59.455
Do people seem to tip toe around me?
00:41:59.455 --> 00:42:03.089
Um. If the answer is yes or yes, do they care?
00:42:03.089 --> 00:42:03.855
Correct.
00:42:03.855 --> 00:42:05.355
Or am I a marshmallow?
00:42:05.355 --> 00:42:05.722
Right.
00:42:05.722 --> 00:42:06.555
Do they tip toe?
00:42:06.555 --> 00:42:08.622
AM I or am I tiptoed around?
00:42:08.622 --> 00:42:09.822
Or am I the floor mat?
00:42:09.822 --> 00:42:11.755
If you are either one of those two.
00:42:11.755 --> 00:42:12.422
Yeah.
00:42:12.422 --> 00:42:12.689
Yeah.
00:42:12.689 --> 00:42:14.955
I would say clarity reduces anxiety.
00:42:14.955 --> 00:42:16.822
So most teams aren't asking for a nicer leader.
00:42:16.822 --> 00:42:19.289
They're asking for a clearer one.
00:42:19.289 --> 00:42:21.355
Ooh, I like that.
00:42:21.355 --> 00:42:25.222
Uh, to me, directness is a skill, not a personality, believe it or not.
00:42:25.222 --> 00:42:29.755
I used to be the the the the the nice leader.
00:42:29.755 --> 00:42:31.755
Um, horribly.
00:42:31.755 --> 00:42:36.822
Um, as I got older and more cynical, it became easier to become direct.
00:42:36.822 --> 00:42:41.922
But you don't have to change who you are, just change the mechanics of how you communicate data.
00:42:41.922 --> 00:42:42.289
Yeah.
00:42:42.289 --> 00:42:44.589
And I would say avoidance becomes operational debt.
00:42:44.589 --> 00:42:51.089
Every conversation you delay eventually gets paid for in confusion, frustration, rework or turnover.
00:42:51.089 --> 00:42:54.155
O turnover is the one that people never think about too.
00:42:54.155 --> 00:42:55.222
No one will ever leave me.
00:42:55.222 --> 00:42:55.822
They all love me.
00:42:55.822 --> 00:42:57.122
No they don't.
00:42:57.122 --> 00:42:59.355
If. Kill the meeting after the meeting.
00:42:59.355 --> 00:43:01.689
If you hear gossip, go straight into a ten minute conversation.
00:43:01.689 --> 00:43:03.122
Ten minute sweaty conversation.
00:43:03.122 --> 00:43:03.689
Yes.
00:43:03.689 --> 00:43:08.355
Um. Sunlight is the best disinfectant for nice leader culture.
00:43:08.355 --> 00:43:13.022
Yeah, and consistency builds trust faster than charisma ever will.
00:43:13.022 --> 00:43:13.722
Ooh.
00:43:13.722 --> 00:43:17.789
Your team should not have to interpret your mood to understand the standard.
00:43:17.789 --> 00:43:19.622
We talked a lot about mood today, I like that.
00:43:19.622 --> 00:43:20.422
Yeah.
00:43:20.422 --> 00:43:22.822
Um, speaking of which, can a nice leader scale.
00:43:22.822 --> 00:43:27.689
Yeah they can, but only if they learn that clarity is kinder than comfort.
00:43:27.689 --> 00:43:28.789
Oh, nice.
00:43:28.789 --> 00:43:34.722
Leaders can absolutely scale when they stop avoiding hard conversations and start creating consistent expectations.
00:43:34.722 --> 00:43:38.155
Kind leader scale, avoidant leader stall.
00:43:38.155 --> 00:43:40.855
I was about to say that that was going to be what I was going to push that to.
00:43:40.855 --> 00:43:43.555
Like, can they can if they stay the nice leader?
00:43:43.555 --> 00:43:44.855
No, they got to grow.
00:43:44.855 --> 00:43:45.155
Yeah.
00:43:45.155 --> 00:43:45.522
Makes sense.
00:43:45.522 --> 00:43:45.722
Yeah.
00:43:45.722 --> 00:43:46.822
You absolutely can be.
00:43:46.822 --> 00:43:47.389
I mean, come on.
00:43:47.389 --> 00:43:49.889
We've both grown from being just a nice lady.
00:43:49.889 --> 00:43:53.022
Oh, one hundred and my people appreciate it.
00:43:53.022 --> 00:43:53.655
Mine do too.
00:43:53.655 --> 00:43:54.855
Like, hey, here's the thing.
00:43:54.855 --> 00:43:58.489
Not like, hey, you've been wonderful.
00:43:58.489 --> 00:43:58.889
Yeah.
00:43:58.889 --> 00:44:01.822
I really appreciate everything you do, but this thing sucked.
00:44:01.822 --> 00:44:02.355
Yeah.
00:44:02.355 --> 00:44:05.255
Um, and the ones that didn't appreciate my growth don't work for me anymore.
00:44:05.255 --> 00:44:06.022
Correct.
00:44:06.022 --> 00:44:06.689
One hundred percent.
00:44:06.689 --> 00:44:08.389
And I found amazing people.
00:44:08.389 --> 00:44:09.289
Absolutely.
00:44:09.289 --> 00:44:09.855
Huh?
00:44:09.855 --> 00:44:10.955
Imagine that.
00:44:10.955 --> 00:44:15.689
Um, what is the difference between vulnerability and oversharing?
00:44:15.689 --> 00:44:18.022
This one is amazing.
00:44:18.022 --> 00:44:20.389
Vulnerability builds connection and trust.
00:44:20.389 --> 00:44:23.989
Okay, oversharing transfers your emotional weight onto your team.
00:44:23.989 --> 00:44:26.955
So it's a really simple question to ask yourself.
00:44:26.955 --> 00:44:32.789
It is, is this helping the team feel informed and connected or responsible for managing me emotionally?
00:44:32.789 --> 00:44:35.255
Because if they're feeling informed and connected, I'm doing my job.
00:44:35.255 --> 00:44:40.755
If this is just about me being able to feel better because I need to unload something to somebody else, that's not that's not good.
00:44:40.755 --> 00:44:45.089
Leaders need to be human, but they do not need to be emotionally unmanaged.
00:44:45.089 --> 00:44:51.689
I, I agree and the, the bar that I have kind of used is for me.
00:44:51.689 --> 00:44:53.689
They should know my hobbies.
00:44:53.689 --> 00:44:55.255
They should know what I do.
00:44:55.255 --> 00:44:59.589
Yeah, they shouldn't necessarily know what I'm dealing with.
00:44:59.589 --> 00:45:00.555
Exactly.
00:45:00.555 --> 00:45:03.789
Um, agreed that that is the they should know things about me.
00:45:03.789 --> 00:45:04.289
They should.
00:45:04.289 --> 00:45:06.889
I mean, everyone everyone around me knows I ride motorcycles.
00:45:06.889 --> 00:45:08.255
I love my motorcycles.
00:45:08.255 --> 00:45:08.989
Great.
00:45:08.989 --> 00:45:11.089
They don't know what I'm dealing with.
00:45:11.089 --> 00:45:13.222
No, and that's perfectly fine.
00:45:13.222 --> 00:45:16.289
Gripes should usually go up, not go down.
00:45:16.289 --> 00:45:17.189
Yeah.
00:45:17.189 --> 00:45:18.022
Question for you.
00:45:18.022 --> 00:45:18.289
Yeah.
00:45:18.289 --> 00:45:22.355
Is there ever a time when being clear is not the right operational move?
00:45:26.955 --> 00:45:32.255
Uh, this is one of those things where I like to me, there's degrees of this.
00:45:32.255 --> 00:45:34.022
You can be clear.
00:45:34.022 --> 00:45:36.055
You can be direct.
00:45:36.055 --> 00:45:41.022
Uh, I have a tendency to error a little bit too much on those in some cases.
00:45:41.022 --> 00:45:41.555
And two.
00:45:41.555 --> 00:45:45.755
Matter of factly, you still need to make sure that you are clear and direct.
00:45:45.755 --> 00:45:48.455
You just have to make sure it's delivered tactfully.
00:45:48.455 --> 00:45:48.622
Yeah.
00:45:48.622 --> 00:45:49.055
Don't ensue.
00:45:49.055 --> 00:45:49.489
Panic.
00:45:49.489 --> 00:45:50.289
Right.
00:45:50.289 --> 00:45:55.955
Tactfully is the area that, uh, believe it or not, I sometimes have a difficult time with.
00:45:55.955 --> 00:45:56.789
I'm shocked.
00:45:58.655 --> 00:45:59.955
Absolutely shocked.
00:46:01.055 --> 00:46:03.855
Can't believe it, huh?
00:46:03.855 --> 00:46:04.022
See?
00:46:04.022 --> 00:46:06.589
You learned something today, Chrissy.
00:46:06.589 --> 00:46:08.255
To everyone out there.
00:46:08.255 --> 00:46:10.155
Thank you for tuning in.
00:46:10.155 --> 00:46:11.489
We appreciate it.
00:46:11.489 --> 00:46:15.089
Uh, once again, hit the Business Fix podcast dot com.
00:46:15.089 --> 00:46:16.589
We'd love to get your feedback.
00:46:16.589 --> 00:46:18.422
Love to get information from you there.
00:46:18.422 --> 00:46:19.755
That all being said, do us a favor.
00:46:19.755 --> 00:46:20.822
Take care of yourself.
00:46:20.822 --> 00:46:22.389
If you can take care of someone else too.
00:46:22.389 --> 00:46:25.222
We will see you very, very soon.