#285 What Alcohol Is Really Stealing From You

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I was living this life of just everything looked really glossy on Instagram.
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But because after my mom passed away, I was more and more depressed.
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And I was using the alcohol to cope, but making it look again really pretty.
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And so I woke up on the anniversary of her passing two years on.
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I was looking at my Instagram feed and I was just like, this is not real.
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I feel completely so far removed from this image that I am portraying to the world.
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And I am not being the mother that God called me to be.
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I am not being the wife that God called me to be.
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And I was so far from him.
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Um, hadn't cracked, cracked open my Bible in a really long time.
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And I knew instinctively that I had to go to Jesus, and I knew that alcohol was the first domino that had to go.
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If you're tired of doing all the right things and still feeling exhausted, stuck in your body, and disconnected from God, this podcast is for you.
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I'm Dr.
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Tabitha, a triple board certified functional medicine physician, and I help women stop fighting their bodies and start healing them God's way.
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Let's get into it.
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Welcome back to the Fast of Faith podcast.
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Oh my goodness, Ashley, I am pumped about our conversation today.
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God is working overtime.
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He is.
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And he it's so cool to see that he's already so far ahead of us and we just didn't even know it.
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I mean, seriously.
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Yeah, it's really cool.
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Today we are talking to a woman in London of all places, yet she is doing so much of the same work that God has us doing.
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And I just think it's really cool that he uses different people and different places to essentially send the same message of just healing, support, and surrender.
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And so I can't wait to dive into all of this today.
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Yeah, me either.
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All right.
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So today we have Christy Osborne, and she is a double certified sobriety coach.
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She's featured in major media outlets and the author of Love Life Sober, a 40-day alcohol fast and rediscover your joy, improve your health, and renew your mind.
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Christy, welcome to the Fast of Faith Show.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I'm just so excited to be here.
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Yeah, me too.
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And I left your book at home.
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Otherwise, I would show it.
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So we are gonna talk about your book today because it is your essentially your journey and how you have come to help other women just release alcohol as an issue in their life, right?
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I love your story because you didn't hit rock bottom.
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You didn't go through all the things, but you realized alcohol wasn't serving you.
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So where do you want to start with all of this?
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Yeah, uh, I'm just so excited to have this conversation with you.
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I I love getting in a room with other Christian women who want to talk about Jesus and health, and not a lot of people are talking about alcohol though.
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And so when I came across you randomly on Instagram and it was a reel about alcohol, I was like, oh my gosh, thank the Lord, somebody else is saying it.
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Somebody else is saying it that alcohol isn't great for us.
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It, you know, it's not great for our health.
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But the thing that I realized that I love talking to women about is that it got in the the way of my relationship with Jesus.
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And it was a barrier for me to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit.
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And it wasn't until I went on a break from it I realized all the ways that it was affecting my life.
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And then when I started to experience the abundance that was on the other side of putting down alcohol, I was like, I wanted to tell everybody.
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Oh man.
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Yeah, help everybody.
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Yeah, I mean, I think that this is an interesting concept because most people don't give up stuff unless it's harming them uh in obvious ways.
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And you're kind of saying, like, it was harming me, but it wasn't super obvious, and it wasn't necessarily physical, right?
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So did you just have this aha moment or were you getting these whispers from the Holy Spirit?
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Like, share with us what happened.
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Yeah, I mean, my drinking definitely progressively increased over the course of my life, and I noticed an uptick tick.
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I'm I'm obviously not British.
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I'm from California.
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So I say that because when I moved over to the UK, that was one of those points where I definitely saw an uptick in my drinking, saw an uptick in my drinking um before that in law school, but using it for various different reasons.
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And I started to use it definitely as a coping mechanism for grief when my mom passed away in 2018.
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And I was living in the UK, I was working, I also had a really popular blog for expat um American women.
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And so I was being invited to like hotels and restaurants and all around, and then in Europe as well, to come make, you know, like an influencer does, make looking holding a glass of champagne look really pretty.
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And I was really good at it.
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And so I was living this life of just everything looked really glossy on Instagram.
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But because after my mom passed away, I was more and more depressed and I was using the alcohol to cope, but making it look again, really pretty.
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And so I woke up on the anniversary of her passing two years on.
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I was looking at my Instagram feed and I was just like, this is not real.
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I feel completely so far removed from this image that I am portraying to the world.
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And I am not being the mother that God called me to be.
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I am not being the wife that God called me to be.
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And I was so far from him.
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Um, I hadn't cracked, cracked open my Bible in a really long time.
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And I knew instinctively that I had to go to Jesus and I knew that alcohol was the first domino that had to go.
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And so I walked into my bathroom, I looked in the mirror and I said, Jesus, I can't do this anymore.
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And I just knew I had to take a break from drinking, and then it just snowballed into learning all the ways that it affects our brains and bodies and what it does to our spiritual lives.
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And I did this at the beginning of like COVID 2020.
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And so I kind of had this captive audience of women at home, right?
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Like on their phones watching my stories, and I was like talking about how great life was alcohol-free and encouraging gals to try it as well.
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And it kind of again just continued to snowball into this incredible job that I have now, which is coming alongside women, cheering them on, encouraging them to take a break from alcohol and see what God has for them on the other side.
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Oh my gosh.
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So, how long did it take for you to start to feel different and wake up from that numbness?
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Yeah, such a good question.
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The first thing that I noticed was definitely my sleep improved.
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Um, I think that we talked about this when you came on my podcast.
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I noticed a drastic improvement in my sleep.
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Um, you know, alcohol basically sedates us, as you know, it makes us like anaesthetized.
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And so our bodies are not getting any sort of real rest.
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Our brains are not getting the rest it needs.
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And when I started sleeping properly, I was like, if if if if this is just the only thing I get from this journey, it's enough because I had so much more energy.
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Um, and I say that with the caveat of it's different for everybody.
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Some gals, it takes, you know, several months for their sleep to reset.
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Um, but after that, I realized that then my joy came back online as well.
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And and when it's rooted in Jesus, it's sustainable, right?
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So it wasn't this sometimes you hear in the sober sphere, the pink cloud of like, oh, I feel so good because alcohol's behind me and I can take over the world.
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Um, when you ditch alcohol and your everything is rooted in Jesus, it is, it's it's sustainable.
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And so the joy came back, peace came, which was amazing.
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Um, and so yeah, it was great.
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It was a process, but it was so worth it.
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Yeah, I hope every woman listening realizes the impact alcohol really does have on your sleep because it is a depressant.
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So, first and foremost, we drink because it initially makes us feel better.
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It decreases our inhibitions so that we don't feel the anxiety and the fear that we normally fear.
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And so we're more apt to go out and be social and hang out with people, right?
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And so we think that it's a good time and it's bringing us joy, but in actuality, it's a long-term depressant.
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So once that alcohol starts to get metabolized and broken down into its toxins of acetylaldehyde and these things, it is a depressant, and our poor little nervous system in our brain feels those effects, and so it's very disruptive to our sleep, it's very inflammatory, and it starts to break down our healthy cells.
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And so, long term, what we see is worsening anxiety and depression, and then you feel like you need to drink it more so that you can continue to handle these social situations, um, or in your case, the the grief and trying to just numb some feelings because yeah, some of these feelings that we have on this world, they're hard and they're not comfortable, right?
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So how was it a challenge for you when you started feeling things again?
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Or you were just so focused on Jesus and the joy?
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Like, how did you navigate those hard feelings?
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Yeah, I love that question.
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And I think that so many women I talked to were not used to like sitting in the suck, right?
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Like sitting in the hard emotion, sitting in the hard feelings.
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I definitely was not taught that, right?
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If you think about, I remember when I was doing kind of this learning, I passed a mom in the bathroom with her daughter, and the daughter was crying, and the mom was just like, no, no, you don't need to cry, like, stop that.
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We don't, and I was like, oh my gosh, that is it's so true.
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That's what we're taught.
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Hard emotion make it go away.
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And as adults, we use alcohol very much as a coping mechanism for those hard emotions.
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So, yes, it was hard.
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I mean, it's still hard, right?
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There are still days where I'm like, I would love to hit the eject button right now.
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But I have, thank the Lord, other tools.
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Um, and and life, life is hard, but I know now because of all of the the research and the science of what alcohol does, like you were talking about it being a depressant, it also just is so horrible for anxiety, right?
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And what it does to adrenaline and cortisol and all of these things.
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So ultimately, when you're facing a hard thing, it's a it's a kind of this cost-benefit analysis of do you want the 30 minutes of numbness for everything that comes after that, right?
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Which is the bad sleep, the increased adrenaline, the depressant.
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Like, is it truly worth it?
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And that is something that I try to help gals with of just go into it with this really open, curious mindset, um, with no self-condemnation.
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It's so important to have compassion in this journey.
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Same with this, with the work that you do, obviously, is like if we're beating ourselves up, if we're in shame, we're in our amygdala, we just want to get out of that as fast as possible, makes you want to drink more.
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And so coming to it with a self-compassion and curious mindset is also so, so important in order to figure out what does work for you when a hard emotion kind of rears its ugly head.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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You talk about the willpower trap, and I think we need to talk about that because where we at Fast Faith, you know, we run a similar program, which we're gonna talk about, but women think they need to do this on their own, of their own strength.
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And the reason I just connected with you and the work that you're doing was like, no, we're relying on Jesus, and that is how we get through.
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And I know that it's easy to hear that, but it's different to put it into practice and to really um trust and believe that he's gonna bring you that strength.
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But when he does, it's like you don't need this willpower.
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So can you speak to that?
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Because Ashley's over there nodding her head, like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired of these women acting like they don't have enough willpower, right?
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Yeah, they just they they keep wondering like why trying harder doesn't work.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And and that's why so like you see it all the time, right?
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Like diet, like a diet normally doesn't work, and that is because it's the willpower competing with all of this data that we have in our subconscious, that we need the thing.
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So, in the case of alcohol, we build up all of this, the and it's from culture and sometimes church and our families and social media, all these benefits that we think that alcohol gives us.
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And we believe these benefits, as true as the sky is blue, that alcohol is gonna somehow help us with these things.
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And we have, I mean, some of the women I talk to, right?
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Like decades of this information that they're holding in their subconscious.
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And then they come come to like a fast or like a break or a dry January or something, and they try to strong arm all that data, right?
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All that information in their brains and it and they wonder why it doesn't work.
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I mean, I did the same thing.
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And so that's why we have to get under the hood, right?
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Of like, what are those reasons that you're drinking?
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Like, what is that?
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Is that true?
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This is the Romans 12, 2 of it all, right?
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Is is renewing our mind.
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Um, we get we have to figure out what's in there.
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Um, so because the willpower thing just doesn't work, we run out of steam, we run out of battery so quickly because we can't compete with what we think we know is true.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And the other day I was walking my dog listening to the Bible.
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Sometimes I like to listen to it, and Paul was talking about drinking wine, and God started talking to me about the fact that wine in this day and age is nothing like it was in Jesus' time.
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Like wine was actually a little bit beneficial at that time because it was fermented food.
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It was very high in probiotics, which are like healthy bacteria, and it was lower in alcohol, and it didn't have pesticides and all the organophosphates and chemicals that we have destroyed our wine with.
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And so wine in this day and age is toxic, but we just we don't understand that.
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We're like, well, Jesus drank wine, everybody drank wine.
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It is not, it's kind of like kombucha now, is is probably what they were more like drinking back in the day because they did not like highly process it the way that we do now.
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It's just a different drink.
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And so I think if women start to realize like, I'm buying into all these lies, like, oh yeah, this is good for me, or it's okay, I deserve it.
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I had a stressful day.
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It's gonna help me sleep.
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Oh my gosh, that is the worst lie ever.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Um, I actually had somebody who told me their doctor told them because they were struggling with their marriage and having painful intercourse due to menopause.
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The doctor told her, you just need to drink more wine before you have to do it.
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I've heard it too.
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Yeah, I've heard it from clients too.
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Yes, isn't that horrible?
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Like this is what we're up against.
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Our poor subconscious doesn't know which way is right.
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Right.
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So, how do we even start to tackle that?
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Is that why you created the 40-day program?
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Yeah, 100%.
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Because, and I don't, I there thankfully there's there are more voices now, but I still think we need more voices saying this because, like exactly what you said, I hear that from clients all the time.
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My doctor said I'm I'm I have a really stressful job, so it's okay.
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Or my pastor said, I heard this recently this week, um, from a gal who has um a son with special needs.
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And so the pastor was like, Your drinking's good, like green light, keep going, like you're fine.
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And so we are up against it, but we just know so much more now, right?
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Like all of the health facts that we're like rattling off.
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Like we know that it is a class one carcinogen linked to so many different types of cancer, all of these things, and so, but but sometimes saying that those things obviously can feel really heavy to gals that are stuck.
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And so, what I really want to just drive home is try it and see how you feel because the difference in how you feel, then you're open to like learning all of these other things, but the difference in how you show up with your kids or with your family, having more patience, having more peace, all of these things, it's just it's so worth it.
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Um, you know, but we are up, we're still up against it.
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We're still up against it.
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I mean, when I published when I published the the book, one of the big publishing houses said to me, What woman is gonna hold that book in church?
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And I was like, Well, that is what why we need it.
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Yeah, exactly.
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I mean, I haven't drank in about eight months, and I feel so much better.
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Like my sleep is consistent, you know.
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I I did I bought an aura ring and now I don't even need it because when I was drinking, I was having all this trouble with my sleep, but I quit drinking and bought the aura ring, and the aura ring's like, oh, your sleep's great.
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I'm like, yeah, because I gave up the alcohol and it's all connected.
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So that's been really cool to witness.
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And my gut stays more balanced.
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I used to have just so many gut issues, and it's because I was constantly destroying my microbiome and causing leaky gut, which is like the gateway for all disease, um, which as a woman with an autoimmune condition, I do not need to do that.
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And you've talked about what that does to your serotonin, right?
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Like when it kills all the neurotransmitters in the gut.
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Like it's just, yeah.
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Sorry, go ahead.
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No, no, I was gonna, so I was actually gonna say this.
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You bring up a really good point about your sleep, but so many women uh struggle to connect the dots that cutting back it doesn't matter.
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Like those one to two drinks that you have even a week make a difference and make an impact on your sleep.
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So can you maybe address that a little bit about why cutting back doesn't work?
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Yeah, and I mean I don't want to discourage people.
00:21:34.430 --> 00:21:45.069
Obviously, cutting back, the less you drink, the better, but to your point, even one glass of wine, like research shows, disrupts your sleep by 10 to 12% or something like that.
00:21:45.389 --> 00:21:55.869
And the way that alcohol also stays in your system, it stays in your system for, and that there's varying um stats on this, but seven about seven to ten days.
00:21:56.029 --> 00:22:08.109
And so if you're a moderate drinker, you know, and you have a glass, a couple glasses of wine at book club on a Thursday or something, still in your system, you know, until Tuesday the next week, your cortisol levels are still raised.
00:22:08.349 --> 00:22:13.470
You're probably still, you know, your defenses are still down against it.
00:22:13.549 --> 00:22:16.589
And so it's just it, it's difficult.
00:22:16.750 --> 00:22:19.869
And also, alcohol is highly addictive, right?
00:22:20.029 --> 00:22:23.230
And so when you drink it, it shuts off your prefrontal cortex.
00:22:23.309 --> 00:22:39.309
So it's really hard to like stick to all those moderation rules that you have, which is why I get like to get up in arms against um, you know, big alcohol who loves to tell us to drink moderately when after the first drink, that's really hard because of what alcohol is.
00:22:39.629 --> 00:22:47.150
Right, because all of a sudden you're telling yourself different stories in your head of like, oh, it's okay, I can handle this.
00:22:47.309 --> 00:22:52.190
And then you start rearranging your calendar and your schedule because of it.
00:22:52.269 --> 00:23:02.269
So women they don't go to the gym the next morning or Pilates or whatever, and they don't meal prep because they, you know, they didn't feel good the night before, they drank too much.
00:23:02.349 --> 00:23:06.029
And I just find it to be such a slippery slope.
00:23:06.269 --> 00:23:17.869
And also one of the biggest things women in our age range is struggling with is elevated blood sugar, insulin resistance, and this is like the number one driver, is it not?
00:23:18.190 --> 00:23:20.029
Yeah, 100%, 100%.
00:23:20.430 --> 00:23:28.829
So hard to stick to any sort of like good, good sort of meal prep plan, anything like that, because of what it does to blood sugar, 100%.
00:23:30.509 --> 00:23:35.629
Real quick, I just want to interrupt this conversation for something super important.
00:23:36.589 --> 00:23:46.910
Even though we need to take care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically, we do have to take care of ourselves at a cellular level.
00:23:47.069 --> 00:23:50.430
And that is why I have my Fast to Face supplement line.
00:23:50.509 --> 00:23:58.589
So let's just take a minute to hear about something that might be the game changer that you need in this season.
00:23:59.150 --> 00:24:03.230
We really need to up level how we're taking care of our temple.
00:24:03.309 --> 00:24:05.309
I used to treat mine like a garbage can.
00:24:05.389 --> 00:24:10.269
I will just Be honest, and I'm not okay with that anymore.
00:24:10.509 --> 00:24:26.269
So, this is one of the most important things to me is that I'm taking high-quality supplements that are actually doing what they say they're doing, and I'm getting my money's worth, and I'm not making my body worse by putting the wrong stuff in it.
00:24:26.349 --> 00:24:35.869
So let's talk about Hormone Tame Essential Multivitamin, because even though it gives you all the vitamins and minerals you need, there's extra goodness in there, isn't there?
00:24:36.029 --> 00:24:37.710
I think you have a bottle sitting next to you.
00:24:37.869 --> 00:24:38.190
I do.
00:24:38.589 --> 00:24:40.029
Tell us about Hormone Tame.
00:24:40.269 --> 00:24:42.670
Hormone Tame is five products in one.
00:24:42.750 --> 00:24:51.549
Um, if you listen to the the other episode, one of the things that we talked about is oftentimes, you know, women are just people were taking a lot of supplements.
00:24:51.789 --> 00:25:03.629
And the nice thing about a lot of the um supplements that we have here at Fast of Faith is that they're just so consolidated, where you could take this and you are basically taking five products.
00:25:03.869 --> 00:25:07.230
So, yes, this is gonna be a multivitamin, but there is so much more.
00:25:07.309 --> 00:25:11.069
We actually kind of refer to it as a multivitamin on um steroids.
00:25:11.309 --> 00:25:15.069
One of the key things that this is gonna be helping is your mitochondria.
00:25:15.389 --> 00:25:22.190
All you need to know is that they are responsible for so many systems and processes in your body.
00:25:22.349 --> 00:25:28.910
The reason that we need supplements is because we're just supplementing areas that we just can't really kind of get with our food.
00:25:28.990 --> 00:25:30.670
So we're filling in those gaps.
00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:36.349
And so Hormone Tame is inviting the body to just fill in all of those gaps.
00:25:36.509 --> 00:25:40.430
So you gotta fill those gaps, and hormone tame it will help to do that.
00:25:41.869 --> 00:25:44.269
Yeah, how long have you not been drinking, Ashley?
00:25:44.430 --> 00:25:46.029
Um, about 18 months.
00:25:46.269 --> 00:25:46.670
Yeah.
00:25:46.910 --> 00:25:47.150
Yeah.
00:25:47.549 --> 00:25:52.190
So none of us had like hit rock bottom, lost our home and our children, all these things.
00:25:52.349 --> 00:25:59.230
We just realized it was no longer serving us, and it actually felt better to just not have the drink.
00:25:59.389 --> 00:26:04.349
Can you talk a little bit about the social awkwardness that you have to navigate?
00:26:04.670 --> 00:26:05.549
Yeah, I will.
00:26:05.629 --> 00:26:12.670
And I I can really relate to the joy that you talked about because that was what I was doing was I was kind of replacing that joy with alcohol.
00:26:12.910 --> 00:26:16.190
And so it took a while to find that joy.
00:26:16.349 --> 00:26:21.150
But I will say the social piece of it, when you said book club, my book club, we always meet at a bar.
00:26:21.389 --> 00:26:25.069
And um, so it does take a little bit of time to try to figure that out.
00:26:25.230 --> 00:26:34.349
But what I started doing was I would prepare ahead of time and think about okay, what can I order that I can still feel like I'm part of the group and not feel left out?
00:26:34.589 --> 00:26:40.990
Because I think that's what women, when they do get rid of alcohol and they have to go to events, they feel left out.
00:26:41.230 --> 00:26:45.470
And so I I got ahead of that to do that.
00:26:45.549 --> 00:26:47.789
So that was really it, it took preparedness.
00:26:47.950 --> 00:26:48.910
Now I could care less.
00:26:49.069 --> 00:26:53.789
I can go to weddings and I can go to book club and I don't even need to drink anything but water.
00:26:54.029 --> 00:27:00.589
But for a while, I just was prepared and I got fun mock tails because I didn't want to feel left out.
00:27:01.150 --> 00:27:02.109
Yeah, yeah.
00:27:02.269 --> 00:27:05.549
And thankfully there's so many options now as far as mock tails go, right?
00:27:05.789 --> 00:27:06.190
100%.
00:27:06.509 --> 00:27:06.829
Yeah.
00:27:06.990 --> 00:27:07.150
Yeah.
00:27:09.710 --> 00:27:09.950
Yeah.
00:27:10.029 --> 00:27:20.670
And well, and you can also, you know, hold things so that people aren't asking you questions because that's awkward too in the beginning when they're like they're noticing that you're not drinking, and then you have to explain yourself 46 times.
00:27:20.910 --> 00:27:26.829
And sometimes at that point, I would be like, it might just be easier if I just drank because I don't want to explain myself.
00:27:26.910 --> 00:27:27.549
You know what I mean?
00:27:27.629 --> 00:27:30.509
So you have there's a lot of willpower that goes into it.
00:27:30.589 --> 00:27:36.109
And I there was a lot of times where I would limit my social outings until I got stronger.
00:27:36.269 --> 00:27:41.069
But you there's something that you say a lot, and it's about counting your fruit instead of counting your glasses.
00:27:41.309 --> 00:27:43.069
Can you explain what that means?
00:27:43.389 --> 00:27:43.789
Yeah.
00:27:43.950 --> 00:27:48.349
So I think that going back to what we were talking about a little bit about moderation, right?
00:27:48.589 --> 00:28:02.349
I think that if you're focused on how much you're drinking, um, that can cause you to kind of have the green light to keep going if it's only a certain, like in the UK over here, they talk about number of units in the States, obviously, it's glasses.
00:28:02.589 --> 00:28:12.509
But instead of focusing on how much you're drinking, I'm only having two glasses a night, or I'm only having like six on the weekend, or whatever it is, what is it doing to the fruit of the spirit?
00:28:12.670 --> 00:28:16.750
Like, is your two glasses of wine robbing you of peace?
00:28:16.910 --> 00:28:22.109
Because that's all you can think of in the hours leading up to it and the hours after it, right?
00:28:22.269 --> 00:28:27.069
Because you're taking so much mental real estate to plan those two glasses.
00:28:27.230 --> 00:28:31.309
Um, is it getting in the way of, you know, your joy, right?
00:28:31.389 --> 00:28:33.549
Because of how alcohol affects our dopamine.
00:28:33.789 --> 00:28:39.789
It gives us this natural, not natural, unnatural spike, artificial level, huge.
00:28:40.029 --> 00:28:47.230
When you get used to that, it's hard to figure out like what how you normally can feel joy, right?
00:28:47.309 --> 00:28:50.190
Because you're used to this massive artificial dopamine spike.
00:28:50.349 --> 00:28:59.389
And so instead of focusing on like, oh, I'm only having two glasses or I'm only having this amount of alcohol, what is it doing to your love, your joy, your peace, your patience, your self-control?
00:28:59.549 --> 00:29:03.549
Like, what how is it interrupting or getting in the way of the fruit of the spirit?
00:29:03.710 --> 00:29:05.710
And I did that with myself.
00:29:05.869 --> 00:29:11.629
Like before I put it in the book, I was like, oh, I am not patient.
00:29:12.269 --> 00:29:21.470
I am not joyful because all I am is focusing on this one thing that I think is giving me all these things when it was actually robbing me of that.
00:29:22.750 --> 00:29:23.230
So good.
00:29:23.470 --> 00:29:27.470
Yeah, it's like the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.
00:29:27.710 --> 00:29:33.710
And sometimes he does it in a very sneaky way and packages it in a way that looks good.
00:29:33.869 --> 00:29:42.029
It looks enticing, it looks fun, and really we're like giving up our joy every time we drink.
00:29:42.269 --> 00:30:01.069
But I did want to go back for a second, you know, when you were talking, Ashley, about going to book club and just the social aspect of it all, because I hear from a lot of women that they get questioned and their friends feel judged by them if they don't drink.
00:30:01.230 --> 00:30:06.670
So it's like putting up a mirror to the people that you're around and they don't like that.
00:30:06.990 --> 00:30:11.710
And so I think that also perpetuates drinking.
00:30:11.789 --> 00:30:13.150
It's like peer pressure.
00:30:13.230 --> 00:30:18.430
You give in because you don't want your friends to feel bad or feel like you're better than them.
00:30:18.670 --> 00:30:30.829
And so I would love some advice on how women can navigate that piece of it because I would rather just have us all be lifted up together than all pulled down together.
00:30:31.069 --> 00:30:31.470
I agree.
00:30:31.549 --> 00:30:39.710
And I would like to address the woman that's listening to this, that's maybe trying to get sober or trying to give up alcohol, and say this knowledge is power.
00:30:40.109 --> 00:30:49.069
So have like listen to what Chrissy's about to share and write it down so that when your friends are asking you, why are you giving up alcohol, you don't get all nervous and forget.
00:30:49.230 --> 00:30:55.470
You can pull this out and say, it's because of my hormones and my sleep, because they might be struggling in the same ways.
00:30:56.190 --> 00:30:57.629
Yeah, a hundred percent.
00:30:57.869 --> 00:31:00.829
And exactly what you just said, knowledge is power.
00:31:01.069 --> 00:31:08.190
I remember I wrote an article for Grazia magazine over here, which is like, I don't know, it's like the equivalent of like maybe an Us Weekly vibe.
00:31:08.430 --> 00:31:13.069
And it was for moms about like how alcohol is robbing you of your sleep, blah, blah, blah.
00:31:13.309 --> 00:31:19.950
And they pulled one line from the article and they put it the um the one line like on Instagram.
00:31:20.190 --> 00:31:22.349
And I just like got massacred in the comments, right?
00:31:22.430 --> 00:31:23.629
Because it's like, who is this mom?
00:31:23.710 --> 00:31:24.910
She must not have children.
00:31:25.069 --> 00:31:27.470
This don't take our wine from us, blah, blah, blah.
00:31:27.629 --> 00:31:30.910
And I was like really upset at first because I'm like, they didn't even read the article.
00:31:30.990 --> 00:31:32.750
I'm it was so grace-filled.
00:31:33.069 --> 00:31:41.069
But the reason I say that is because I put myself in the shoes of being stuck with alcohol and seeing that headline.
00:31:41.230 --> 00:31:43.549
And I would have not liked me either, right?
00:31:43.789 --> 00:31:50.589
And so the same is true for your friend who gets really vocal about the fact that you are taking a break from alcohol.
00:31:50.829 --> 00:31:56.990
You've held up that mirror and they don't, they don't know that, or maybe they don't know yet, right?
00:31:57.069 --> 00:31:59.789
That this is a coping mechanism that isn't serving them.
00:31:59.950 --> 00:32:02.349
They can't imagine their life without it.
00:32:02.509 --> 00:32:05.069
It's taken up so much space in their life.
00:32:05.230 --> 00:32:13.230
And so when you're shining that mirror, they're automatically putting themselves in those shoes of, oh no, that means I have to take a break.
00:32:13.389 --> 00:32:15.069
How in the world am I gonna do that?
00:32:15.230 --> 00:32:16.829
That sounds horrible.
00:32:17.069 --> 00:32:22.029
And so knowing that, that it's not actually about you, it's about them.
00:32:22.109 --> 00:32:25.470
They're making it about them, I think is so, so helpful.
00:32:25.710 --> 00:32:38.349
And when I started to clock of my girlfriends who was who was the most vocal about, well, I don't have to do that because I still run every carpool, or I don't have to do that because I just made partner at my law firm, you know, da-da-da-da-da.
00:32:38.509 --> 00:32:42.349
I'm like, okay, it's not about, it's not about me.
00:32:42.430 --> 00:32:45.069
It's you're making it about you, you know.
00:32:45.470 --> 00:32:54.029
Yeah, if you say like this makes me feel better, like my gut heals, my hormones stay balanced.
00:32:54.190 --> 00:32:55.629
You they can't argue that.
00:32:55.789 --> 00:33:02.990
But if you're trying to say, like, you need to do this too, it's gonna help you, then they're gonna go on the defensive for sure.
00:33:03.389 --> 00:33:04.589
100%, 100%.
00:33:05.309 --> 00:33:08.589
Your book is structured in a 40-day um alcohol fast.
00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:10.349
Why 40 days?
00:33:10.670 --> 00:33:12.829
Well, obviously, it's biblical.
00:33:15.069 --> 00:33:17.150
No, I love that you're asking me that.
00:33:17.309 --> 00:33:21.549
Um, obviously, in the Bible, every time it's mentioned, it's um a time of testing.
00:33:21.710 --> 00:33:25.150
And also, I I wanted it to feel doable, right?
00:33:25.309 --> 00:33:32.990
I wanted it to feel like this is a self-compassion-led experiment where you get to try to do this for 40 days and see what happens.
00:33:33.230 --> 00:33:35.389
You don't have to make a forever decision.
00:33:35.549 --> 00:33:36.990
You get to just try it.
00:33:37.150 --> 00:33:50.589
And um, I like to say it's a no-fail plan because if you do have a drink after five or six days or whatever it is, keep going because the book, the book is written so that you can learn from those, what I call growth points.
00:33:50.829 --> 00:33:52.109
Why did you drink that night?
00:33:52.190 --> 00:33:53.470
Is it because you were lonely?
00:33:53.629 --> 00:33:56.589
Is it because you know you would thought you deserved something?
00:33:56.750 --> 00:33:58.509
Did you need a break?
00:33:58.670 --> 00:34:00.829
Did you were you looking for connection?
00:34:00.990 --> 00:34:08.110
And so we can learn why we're going to alcohol while kind of going on this 40-day experiment.
00:34:09.309 --> 00:34:10.430
That's so powerful.
00:34:10.510 --> 00:34:11.550
Yeah, it's really good.
00:34:11.710 --> 00:34:13.070
I have like so many things.
00:34:13.309 --> 00:34:14.349
Yeah, go for it.
00:34:14.510 --> 00:34:19.550
I just I love how aligned her program is and our program, and we're both creative.
00:34:19.869 --> 00:34:22.670
We didn't even know each other, like, you know, two weeks ago.
00:34:23.470 --> 00:34:23.950
So good.
00:34:24.190 --> 00:34:24.430
Yeah.
00:34:24.590 --> 00:34:32.349
I I just love that you're you're teaching it as a lifestyle, but it it's okay like to fail is basically what you're saying.
00:34:32.430 --> 00:34:36.910
Like, it's okay that you had that drink because now you're gonna figure out why you had it.
00:34:36.990 --> 00:34:39.789
Because if you're just drinking every day, sometimes it's hard to get to the why.
00:34:39.950 --> 00:34:47.230
So once you start to clean it up, then you realize, and that's basically what we teach with the nutrition side of it and the fasting side of it.
00:34:47.389 --> 00:34:49.309
I'm just mind-blown how they go together.
00:34:49.550 --> 00:35:03.389
Yeah, because it's decreasing your inflammation in your body, it's awakening up your brain, you're getting back into that prefrontal cortex where you can actually have some critical thinking and you're not stuck in survival mode, right?
00:35:03.550 --> 00:35:09.630
Like everything starts to shift and you're functioning the way you were designed to function.
00:35:09.950 --> 00:35:10.269
Yeah.
00:35:10.510 --> 00:35:12.829
And I'm sure you gals hear hear this all that time too.
00:35:12.910 --> 00:35:18.269
When you have one of your gals coming into your program, is I'm so afraid to fail.
00:35:18.349 --> 00:35:19.309
I'm so afraid to fail.
00:35:19.389 --> 00:35:20.590
What if I can't do this?
00:35:20.829 --> 00:35:25.470
And as much as it's a 40-day fast, I'm like, gals, this is actually a not about alcohol.
00:35:25.630 --> 00:35:29.230
Surprise! It's not about alcohol and it's not about the 40 days.
00:35:29.389 --> 00:35:44.030
It's about learning about why you need this thing and like how you can lean on Jesus instead in those moments where the craving voice is hot like really, really loud and you're standing in front of the wine cabinet, he's there, right?
00:35:44.190 --> 00:35:50.829
And that's the the opportunity and the invitation to experience that is the most beautiful thing ever.
00:35:50.910 --> 00:35:54.829
So it's actually not about like hitting 40 days or becoming sober forever.
00:35:55.070 --> 00:35:59.630
It's about like what you're using it for and how God can show up instead.
00:35:59.789 --> 00:36:01.950
And it's just the best thing ever.
00:36:02.670 --> 00:36:05.550
Can you speak a little bit to the spirit of religion?
00:36:05.710 --> 00:36:11.470
Because I grew up with a lot of shame around my Christianity.
00:36:11.630 --> 00:36:16.190
Like you should be ashamed of yourself for being such a sinner and being so bad.
00:36:16.429 --> 00:36:20.909
And all it did was make me more of a sinner, right?
00:36:20.989 --> 00:36:26.030
Because I was afraid to like bring the truth to Jesus and all along he already knew everything.
00:36:26.269 --> 00:36:28.269
So that's the truth of it.
00:36:28.509 --> 00:36:42.269
Um, but how speak to the woman right now who's just like you're not ready to admit it, or you're just like really feeling ashamed of it.
00:36:42.829 --> 00:36:45.150
Yeah, God loves you so much.
00:36:45.630 --> 00:36:57.550
When we realize that we tell ourselves so many stories about alcohol, we also get to learn that we we have are telling ourselves so many stories about ourselves, but also who God is.
00:36:57.789 --> 00:37:07.869
And so God is actually surprised, like not the God that I grew up learning about, like in the sky, wagging his finger at me, telling me off for everything I'm doing wrong.
00:37:08.030 --> 00:37:16.269
He's actually the God that is Jesus with arms open, like just begging us to come to him.
00:37:16.590 --> 00:37:23.710
And the first time I read the Bible cover to cover was when I became alcohol-free and I figured out who God was, right?
00:37:24.030 --> 00:37:31.309
And that is when the the shame started to go because I was like, oh, he actually isn't really mad at me.
00:37:31.389 --> 00:37:36.030
And he hasn't written me off because I've struggled with alcohol and all these other things, right?
00:37:36.269 --> 00:37:39.869
He actually wants to pursue me and be with me.
00:37:40.190 --> 00:37:46.509
And not drinking gives you that space and that opportunity to learn who he truly is.
00:37:46.829 --> 00:37:58.349
It it gives us that that chance to explore all these stories that again, like we think that we know so to be so true as this as the sky is blue, but it just aren't.
00:37:58.509 --> 00:38:01.389
And so that's why I love, I know you've um hung out with Dr.
00:38:01.550 --> 00:38:12.989
Lee Warren like recently, like that's why I love his work so much because it is about investigating all these false negative beliefs that we have been conditioned to hold on to.
00:38:13.630 --> 00:38:14.829
Yeah, absolutely.
00:38:15.070 --> 00:38:19.389
And so many of us are secondhand Christians.
00:38:19.869 --> 00:38:29.389
I didn't get my beliefs from reading the Bible, I got my beliefs from listening to my priest and the nuns and the people in my life.
00:38:29.710 --> 00:38:47.789
And you're right, until you actually open the book and start reading, and like God will reveal his true self to you, and you don't have to listen to the lies that are you're being brainwashed and that are being ingrained into your brain.
00:38:47.949 --> 00:39:01.070
Like you can change your beliefs about some things, and um, that is what I read in the Bible is that Jesus came to die for you while you were yet still a sinner.
00:39:01.389 --> 00:39:06.429
He didn't wait for you to clean up your mess and fix your problems and renew your mind.
00:39:06.670 --> 00:39:15.710
He was like, You are the worst of the worst, and I'm and I still love you so much that I'm gonna die for you and take it, take your burden.
00:39:15.789 --> 00:39:17.309
Like my yoke is easy.
00:39:17.469 --> 00:39:18.429
Hook up with me.
00:39:18.509 --> 00:39:19.309
Let's go.
00:39:19.550 --> 00:39:20.269
Yeah, right.
00:39:21.389 --> 00:39:22.030
Oh my gosh.
00:39:22.269 --> 00:39:23.070
Yeah, so good.
00:39:23.309 --> 00:39:26.349
Chrissy, where can women find your book and connect with you?
00:39:26.590 --> 00:39:29.230
Yeah, everything's at lovelife.com.
00:39:29.309 --> 00:39:34.349
The book, the coaching, the community, uh, the podcast is the same name, Love Life Sober.
00:39:34.509 --> 00:39:35.469
Um, it's all there.
00:39:35.550 --> 00:39:37.389
So it's really, really easy to find me.
00:39:37.710 --> 00:39:38.429
Oh my gosh.
00:39:38.670 --> 00:39:42.349
And you told us before we started recording, you are coming to Michigan.
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In the flesh.
00:39:45.869 --> 00:39:46.590
Oh my gosh.
00:39:46.829 --> 00:39:47.789
God is so good.
00:39:47.949 --> 00:39:56.590
Yes, you are coming to Hope College in September, which is right down the road from I was gonna say, not only is she coming to Michigan, you're literally coming to our town.
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Like, just so wild.
00:39:58.829 --> 00:39:59.710
God is so good.
00:39:59.869 --> 00:40:00.349
I love it.
00:40:00.590 --> 00:40:01.550
God is so good.
00:40:01.869 --> 00:40:06.989
Is there any last words that you want to leave for our ladies listening today?
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Just if something has stirred in your heart of this conversation that you're not alone.
00:40:12.110 --> 00:40:22.750
Um, I know that when I started my journey, I didn't know, I didn't know any women that didn't drink, but I definitely didn't know any Christian women like that didn't drink, which is sounds crazy now.
00:40:22.909 --> 00:40:28.349
Um but they're there they are out there, and I have a community of them if you want to come hang out.
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You do not have to do this alone.
00:40:30.110 --> 00:40:35.469
Like we will love you, we pray for you, and we will encourage you, and you're not alone.
00:40:35.789 --> 00:40:36.909
Oh my gosh, yes.
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All the links are in the show notes.
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Please connect with Christy.
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This could be the one thing that really just changes your life for the better going forward.
00:40:47.150 --> 00:40:55.070
So oh my gosh, I have a really awesome verse that I want everybody listening to meditate on this week.
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It's Galatians 5:1.
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It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
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Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
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Okay, ladies, like Jesus wants you to have freedom in this life right now, not just in eternity, but on this broken earth and freedom from alcohol, freedom from sugar, freedom from addiction, freedom from shame, all of it is yours for the taking.
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So whatever that yoke is that you're attached to, the the stress, the alcohol, the busyness, the gossiping, like hand it over to Jesus.
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He does not want you living a miserable, exhausted, inflamed life.
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Um I'm just so grateful for you, Christy.
00:41:47.710 --> 00:41:49.869
And I love that God connected us.
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It's so cool.
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It's just, it's everything.
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We'll see you in September.
00:41:54.429 --> 00:41:56.909
Yeah, awesome.
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Go be Christ hands to serve lady.
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We'll see you next week.
00:41:59.949 --> 00:42:01.389
Have a good week, girls.
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If you like that episode, I have one favor to ask, maybe two.
00:42:10.989 --> 00:42:14.829
Can you hit subscribe and give me a heart?
00:42:14.989 --> 00:42:22.590
I want Apple to know that this is important information to you because when we tell them that, you will get more of it.
00:42:22.750 --> 00:42:24.429
So use your voice.
00:42:24.590 --> 00:42:29.469
Hit subscribe, hit the like button, share with a friend.
00:42:29.710 --> 00:42:35.070
And the other thing, I want you to download the five day challenge and get started on it.
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Take imperfect action.
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I will see you in the Fast of Faith Sisterhood.
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Till next time.