WEBVTT
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Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
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Josh Nagron, and this show is all about sharing
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lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
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thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
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to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
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Welcome back to the show. Today we're going to
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discuss the Olympics. That's right. You may have
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seen plenty going on with the Olympics. The United
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States has won a lot of gold. And today, actually,
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the United States won gold in hockey, which hasn't
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happened in how long? What did you say, Ashley?
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Since the miracle on ice in the early 80s. I
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think it was 82 I saw, 83? That's crazy. So it's
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been like 40 plus years. Yeah, for sure. So it's
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been it's been enjoyable. And I'll tell you,
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like, it's hard to catch everything, obviously.
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And I think we canceled Peacock like two months
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ago, which that was a horrible mistake at this
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point. Yeah, so we've been catching the I mean,
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for me, my favorite ones have been the the gold
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medal montages of each day. And I think that's
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really cool because you get to see. Lots of different
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things. Obviously, you get to see the best performance
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of that sport for that day, which I think is
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really cool. Then you also get to see just all
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the different reactions of people's long -fought
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fruit of all their efforts. And the Olympics
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only every four years, too. Just because you
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win Worlds doesn't mean the Olympics has that
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extra juice, right? So you get to see their reaction.
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You get to see their coaches, their family, everybody
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celebrating. What I found cool to see is... You'll
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see that all the different types of athletes,
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you'll see the veteran that's never gotten gold,
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you know, and it's, it's, this is basically like
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their last one. Maybe they're like mid third,
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mid to late thirties or something. And then they'll
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finally get it. And just, just a relief of finally
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achieving it. Then you'll see the, the dominant
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one. That's the favorite, just, just crushing
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it, you know, Olympics after Olympics. And then
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the, the, the, the Kazakhstan figure skater,
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right. That like got gold, totally didn't expect
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it. And so that winning your first gold. without
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even thinking, you know, when he went, he did
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not. That was not on his bingo card, you know?
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So it's super cool just to see all those different
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things. Obviously, we could have multiple podcast
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episodes about the Olympics, but we wanted to
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contrast the, to stay on the theme of ice. We
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wanted to contrast the difference between Ilya
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Melanin, who is obviously the clear favorite
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to win gold, and I don't even think I need to
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say arguably the best male figure skater, the
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best figure skater ever. I mean, when I looked
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it up, nobody has landed a quad axle in competition
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except for him. So there are other people that...
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maybe have landed them in practice. But as far
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as like sanctioned competition, this guy crushes
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it. And so he was obviously the favorite to win.
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And then Alyssa Liu and just the difference between
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the Olympics when she was 16, four years ago
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and now. And so we want to kind of cover those
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two because they both went differently than I
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think everyone expected for both of them. And
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again, there's a really strong contrast. It was
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something that we really just wanted to discuss
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with you guys. So Ashley, what were your thoughts
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to get us kicked off? Yeah, I think honestly,
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like it's one of the most practical, played out
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back to back examples. of how pressure can make
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you crumble or just doing something because you
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love it and the passion and the freedom that
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comes with no expectations, how those two things
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immediately contrasted each other in back -to
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-back evenings. And so, you know, Ilya talks
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about like, man, if I could have gone to the
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Olympics four years ago, he didn't make the Olympic
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team four years ago. So this was his very first
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time. He had all of the expectations of the world
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on him, right? Like that arena was packed. Standing
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room only, everyone came to see him. And I saw
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a post about a post that he had made that said
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as he went out onto the ice, you know, leading
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up to that, he started thinking about every,
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you start thinking about every mistake. every
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conversation, every time you failed, every, every
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negative thing starts to fill up your mind. And
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that's what, that's what ended up winning out
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was the pressure and the negative side of things,
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you know? And he said, I went in so confident,
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maybe I was overconfident. And so I think that
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that, you know, um, I, in the middle of that,
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like, I felt so bad for him, like watching it
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just literally fall apart and there was nothing
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he could do to redeem it. yeah and for those
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of you who don't know so he he was the favorite
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to win he was at the very end of the evening
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because you know you could save the good the
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best for last yep arguably so yeah for sure and
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so the the entire arena is packed out for this
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guy i don't always follow figure skating so i
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i had heard over the last couple days that he
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was gonna be an absolute show to watch and so
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we were watching like uh, probably for like 45
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to 50 minutes because they, you know, they always
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tease the person coming up at the end, but you
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don't always know how long that's going to be.
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Um, so we were watching all these other skaters
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and all these other sports. I'm like, okay, like
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this kid better be worth it. Um, but then he
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gets up there and you can just tell, like, he
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has, I mean, he has swagger and confidence and
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cause he knows, like, I mean, in his belief,
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um, in, in, in past interviews, like he's just
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very confident. I mean, he gave himself the nickname
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Quad Gun. He did, he did. The confidence that
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comes from calling yourself that. He's also going
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on 14 straight wins in competition. Okay, so
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he's not a noob. He is there to win and there
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to crush. And then, spoiler, he completely falls
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apart. When he's supposed to do his first quad
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jump, it ends up being only like a double or
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maybe a triple. And then you think like, okay,
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nerves, whatever. And then he, again, like stumbles
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and falls. And he wasn't the only skater to fall
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that night. So there were a couple skater experts
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that I talked to that were like, you know, maybe
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there was something wrong with the ice because
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it seemed to always be in that area in that corner
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there or in that end of the rink rather. And,
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you know, maybe so. Maybe there was some soft
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ice over there. Maybe there were some things
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going on. However, it... didn't change that the
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performance was not great. Nonetheless, the guy
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from Kazakhstan who ended up winning gold, he
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had an absolutely incredible performance. And
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Ilya got eighth. And so, Ashley, share with us
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what Alyssa Liu did and kind of some of that
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background, and then we can talk through just
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the kind of different approaches. Yeah, so I
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wasn't familiar with Alyssa Liu until going into
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these games. You know, she went to the Olympics
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four years ago when she was young. And then two
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years ago, she actually literally quit figure
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skating completely. She said, this isn't fun
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anymore. I'm not enjoying this. I am done. And
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so she actually didn't compete for about 18 months.
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And then not very long ago, she decided... And
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her coaches said that... Her coaches reported
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that... There were multiple times where she would
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get dropped off and she was just crying in the
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hallway. Like there was so much pressure on her,
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so much control over what she could eat, what
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she could do. Yeah, I mean, it sounded horrible.
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So she actually made the decision to step away
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from competition completely. and take a break
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and then decided to come back on her own terms.
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And she said, you know, if I come back, I want
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to pick my music. I want to be involved in the
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program. I want to design my costumes. No one's
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going to tell me what I can and can't eat. If
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I need to work harder, I will. If I'm burned
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out and I don't want to skate, I won't. I am
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in control of this now. And so I think what we
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watched, you know, and like she's known for the
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striped hair and, you know, just the kind of
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slight wildness that comes with being 20, right?
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And, you know, what you really just watched was
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someone who was doing it because of the joy and
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the love of the sport, not because there was
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all of this pressure. And she said, you know,
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I'm just here to show my art. And you can genuinely
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see that. And she has... beautiful skating. I
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mean, her lines and her jumps are just otherworldly.
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If you have not seen them, I highly recommend
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going to do that. But she skated with no pressure.
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And so that contrast of going in, the weight
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of the world versus all of these expectations,
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and then on the other side, someone who's just,
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not that Ilya doesn't love it, but he came into
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this with all of the pressure, all of the expectations.
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No one had any on her, right? Comebacks don't
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typically go like that. Yeah. Comebacks can,
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they, they normally, you know, her coaches actually
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tried to talk her out of it. Like comebacks can
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go very, very badly. Um, and she, she came back
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and she had won worlds before coming to the Olympics
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and did it because of the joy and love of the
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sport. And so I think there's some really good
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kind of life lessons that we can take from the
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greatest of the greatest, the most elite, the
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mindset that it takes to be able to perform at
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that kind of a level. How do we then apply that
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to our own lives? And so I think there's some
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really cool lessons there. Yeah, for sure. I
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mean, and she mentioned that she was not planning
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on going back to figure skating. She just ended
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up doing some skiing. And then she was like,
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hmm, maybe I'll strap on some skates again. And
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she said she did. I don't remember if it was
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a double axle or a triple axle, but she landed
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it like the first time after putting skates back
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on. And she was like, hmm. And she decided to
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call her coach and was like, hey, new ground
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rules. This is how we're going to do it. And
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so it's such a unique approach that I think is
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important to highlight because the pressure really
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can get you. We talked before about in my episode
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about the expectation effect. In the story that
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you tell yourself, the narrative that you tell
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yourself, we know that the placebo effect works,
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but there is something called the nocebo effect
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as well and has an inverse reaction. And so he
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seemed to have gotten overwhelmed by negative
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thoughts, negative emotions, like all the things
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that you need to do and execute well. And that
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to him, again, the best figure skater, it got
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to him and he could not perform, right? I think
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it also comes down to some of the conversations
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we've had too around the one that you feed. What
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are you feeding? Those young, young people, the
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pressure from social media, the things that people
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say about you, what are they taking in and what
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are they allowing into their heart and their
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minds? Then at the time, it may not feel like
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anything. You may not realize the consequences
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of that. But then in those high pressure moments,
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do we... and revert back really quickly to that
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or do that's what gets brought up in our mind,
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right? Like our brains are trained to bring up
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the worst case scenario, right? It's why you
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wake up in the middle of the night or you're
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trying to go to sleep and your brain goes, hey,
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remember that thing that you did back when you
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were in eighth grade and that time that you were
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completely and utterly humiliated and embarrassed
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and whatever, like, right? That's our brains.
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trained to do that and so we have to feed it
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something different you know and and i don't
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know you know what he's allowing what he's taking
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in what kind of music he's listening to what
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kind of people he's surrounding himself with
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no idea not a clue but from a personal like standpoint
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for us practically again it's back to that concept
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of what are we feeding and allowing and so what
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What are we going to tell our brains is the truth.
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That story that we tell ourselves. What are we
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going to say that I can do this or I am capable
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of this or I'm not going to allow this into my
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heart and into my mind. We just have to be so
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careful with what we fill ourselves with. I agree.
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I also enjoyed, you may have noticed, but before
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she won gold, when she finished, Ilya was there
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and the camera cut to him and he was like so
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happy for her and celebrating how well she skated.
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think he knew that was a podium performance.
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I don't know if he knew it was gold, of course,
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but he was, he was, it looked genuinely like
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joy and appreciation for what she accomplished
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there, which is something that's going to be
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a kind of a bittersweet thing for him because
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he wasn't able to execute. Right. So that was
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a really cool thing to witness just that sweetness
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in that moment where he was like, he approved
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and he was so proud and happy for her. Well,
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and also like, you know, if you go back and look
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at the clips of him after completely, because
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he was the last one, right? You talked about
00:12:47.059 --> 00:12:48.539
he was the last one to go for the evening. So
00:12:48.539 --> 00:12:50.700
it was pretty obvious very quickly through the
00:12:50.700 --> 00:12:52.639
routine that he was not going to meddle. And
00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:55.759
the way in which that he handled himself, the
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.659
maturity that he brought to the table, and the
00:12:58.659 --> 00:13:00.580
way in which that he congratulated the young
00:13:00.580 --> 00:13:03.200
man that won, and the way in which that he, the
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:05.879
posture and he carried himself, right? So in
00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:09.370
that sense, he carried himself. someone way older
00:13:09.370 --> 00:13:13.190
and more mature than the age that he is right
00:13:13.190 --> 00:13:16.450
um you know and if you if you go back and watch
00:13:16.450 --> 00:13:19.029
he did a they did like a exhibition skate at
00:13:19.029 --> 00:13:21.490
the very end of all of this and he we watched
00:13:21.490 --> 00:13:25.190
it yesterday he skated to nf's song fear and
00:13:25.190 --> 00:13:27.970
i couldn't help but think like how much more
00:13:27.970 --> 00:13:32.009
appropriate that that that that skate was after
00:13:32.700 --> 00:13:36.039
having lost the gold and after having like everything
00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:39.639
crumbling, right? Like he didn't burst into tears.
00:13:39.820 --> 00:13:43.419
He didn't completely and utterly melt in that
00:13:43.419 --> 00:13:46.779
manner off the ice. He stayed calm and composed
00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:50.779
and just had to figure out how to roll with it.
00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:52.840
And in the coming days and in all of the interviews
00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:54.580
and all of the scrutiny and all of the social
00:13:54.580 --> 00:13:57.080
media, and honestly, like I'll tell you that
00:13:57.080 --> 00:14:00.480
that probably defined who he is more for me than
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.799
the fact that he quote unquote, failed on the
00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:06.379
ice. My suspicion is that he will learn far more
00:14:06.379 --> 00:14:11.059
from failing than he would have if he would have
00:14:11.059 --> 00:14:13.919
won. And my guess, I mean, he still has several
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.320
years ahead of him. He's super young. He's got
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.740
time, right? He's got a good couple of games
00:14:18.740 --> 00:14:21.179
left in him, at least. But I have a suspicion
00:14:21.179 --> 00:14:25.139
that we're going to see a new, mentally tougher,
00:14:25.480 --> 00:14:30.230
stronger Ilya. And he will now become unbeatable.
00:14:30.330 --> 00:14:33.549
But often we have to have those moments of complete
00:14:33.549 --> 00:14:36.549
and utter like destruction sometimes to get our
00:14:36.549 --> 00:14:39.909
attention and to actually rebuild and teach ourselves
00:14:39.909 --> 00:14:42.909
to put up guardrails in place and to teach ourselves
00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:45.470
what it means to withstand the pressure and to
00:14:45.470 --> 00:14:50.370
perform under pressure. And we often learn more
00:14:50.370 --> 00:14:52.450
in the moments that we fail than we do in the
00:14:52.450 --> 00:14:54.289
moments of victory and triumph. Well, and you
00:14:54.289 --> 00:14:57.649
and I like to study champions. Whether it's Michael
00:14:57.649 --> 00:15:00.450
Jordan or Tom Brady or other dynasties like that.
00:15:00.570 --> 00:15:03.169
And I think when you were saying that, I thought
00:15:03.169 --> 00:15:06.950
of Tom Brady and how he describes that the most
00:15:06.950 --> 00:15:10.549
powerful shaping moments for him were the Super
00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:14.769
Bowl losses, right? I mean, the way he talks
00:15:14.769 --> 00:15:16.830
about them and the language that he uses, it's
00:15:16.830 --> 00:15:20.299
very... You could tell those lessons were definitely
00:15:20.299 --> 00:15:23.700
the ones because they still elicit a lot of emotion
00:15:23.700 --> 00:15:27.100
in those when he's describing those moments and
00:15:27.100 --> 00:15:30.100
those plays and what lost them the game, you
00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:32.039
know, in the helmet catch and all that crazy
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:34.580
stuff. And so you can you can really tell the
00:15:34.580 --> 00:15:38.500
power of failure. when you can approach it in
00:15:38.500 --> 00:15:40.559
the right way. You know, whether it's John Maxwell
00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:43.240
talking about failing forward and using it to
00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.279
your advantage. There was a podcast I listened
00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:49.700
to five or six years ago that talked about when
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:53.220
they surveyed a ton of successful people, they
00:15:53.220 --> 00:15:56.860
asked, what trait do you think is the most important
00:15:56.860 --> 00:15:59.799
in business or whatever sector that they were
00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:02.500
in? And the answer, he's like, the number one
00:16:02.500 --> 00:16:05.500
surveyed answer was resilience, right? How you
00:16:05.500 --> 00:16:08.779
come back. from when you crumble or were crushed
00:16:08.779 --> 00:16:11.620
or were defeated. And so for Ilya, I think even
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:15.600
already, like you said, he has shown that he
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:18.120
probably has some decent resilience, just even
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:20.919
he did not look dejected. I mean, obviously,
00:16:21.139 --> 00:16:24.639
especially the interview right after. The loss,
00:16:24.659 --> 00:16:26.580
you could tell. I mean, he was disappointed.
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:29.500
Yeah, I mean, he's human, for crying out loud.
00:16:29.659 --> 00:16:32.179
But then, yeah, you're right. The different days
00:16:32.179 --> 00:16:34.720
leading after, it's looking like he's going to
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:37.240
come back with a vengeance. And that's in that
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:39.419
case, like, it's different when you're defeated
00:16:39.419 --> 00:16:43.139
by an opponent. If they outperform you and you
00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:45.139
gave it everything, what do people say? If I
00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:47.419
can put my head down on my pillow at night and
00:16:47.419 --> 00:16:49.220
say I gave it everything and if it wasn't enough,
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:50.980
then I'm like, then I can be at peace because
00:16:50.980 --> 00:16:53.320
I did everything I could. But when you defeat
00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:57.480
yourself. When your mind betrays you and then
00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:00.879
you just crumble under pressure or a situation
00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:04.259
like that, that is tough to handle. It's just
00:17:04.259 --> 00:17:06.940
so important to, like you said, what are you
00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:08.859
listening to? What are you watching? These are
00:17:08.859 --> 00:17:12.319
very practical things. And they might sound stuffy
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:16.859
or old school, but it has a lot of, we talk about
00:17:16.859 --> 00:17:20.059
who your circle is, who your community is. That's
00:17:20.059 --> 00:17:21.980
going to show me your network. I'll show you
00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:23.579
your net worth. Those are the people that you're
00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:25.359
going to be. come. We talked about that in the
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:28.180
last few episodes. And so all of those things,
00:17:28.279 --> 00:17:30.619
guarding your mind, guarding your heart against
00:17:30.619 --> 00:17:34.619
negativity and those kinds of things can be so
00:17:34.619 --> 00:17:39.339
pivotal on your trajectory in life, your potential
00:17:39.339 --> 00:17:42.359
for success, and so much more even. And I think
00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:46.200
just going a little bit deeper on Alyssa, to
00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:50.099
watch her just escape because she loved to do
00:17:50.099 --> 00:17:54.759
it was so beautiful. and to understand more of
00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:58.339
the backstory and more of that like for us like
00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:00.099
what does that look like like we need to find
00:18:00.099 --> 00:18:03.960
something that brings us joy and that um that
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:09.039
feeds feeds our soul feeds you know a passion
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.900
and desire that's in there within us like how
00:18:11.900 --> 00:18:14.680
do we how do we find that and then how do we
00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:17.869
hang on to it and sometimes you know People who
00:18:17.869 --> 00:18:21.809
tend to be entrepreneurs create and create a
00:18:21.809 --> 00:18:23.190
business around something that they love and
00:18:23.190 --> 00:18:25.269
that they're passionate about because it fits
00:18:25.269 --> 00:18:27.750
a need and a niche and whatever. And then eventually
00:18:27.750 --> 00:18:30.650
without proper boundaries and without staying
00:18:30.650 --> 00:18:32.710
the course and bringing other people along, right?
00:18:32.809 --> 00:18:35.609
Like all of a sudden what they once loved now
00:18:35.609 --> 00:18:38.500
is something that they just can't stand. And
00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:40.799
so I think for me, like thinking that through,
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:42.319
like that's probably the most practical examples
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.279
of that, right? Like we know people who have
00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:46.319
started a business because they love and adore
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:50.880
X, Y, and Z. And then, you know, after so many
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:55.160
years, that pressure is there, the need to take
00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:56.900
care of your people, to make money, to provide
00:18:56.900 --> 00:18:58.740
for your family, like all of the pressures that
00:18:58.740 --> 00:19:01.200
come with that sometimes just become too much.
00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:04.400
And we have to figure out how to have the joy
00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:07.640
behind it and how to do it because we love it.
00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:09.960
And, you know, that's something I'm still like
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:12.039
processing through. Like there's a lot of things
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:14.680
in life that I really am passionate about and
00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:17.640
love doing, but would I still love them if that
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:20.380
was my job? And I don't know how to answer that.
00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:21.720
You know, we've talked about several different
00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:23.500
things that I would like to do at some point
00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:25.660
in my life, but I think it's, you know, it's
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:28.420
making sure that the passion is still there and
00:19:28.420 --> 00:19:30.980
remembering why you're doing it, remembering
00:19:30.980 --> 00:19:34.000
your why, and then keeping. The main thing, the
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:36.440
main thing, right? Like your family and your
00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:38.599
friends, those are the main thing. And we have
00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:41.640
to keep boundaries and guardrails in place so
00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:44.359
that certain things in our lives don't take over.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:48.200
I also noticed that when she was skating, the
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:51.250
commentators, just what they were... what they
00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:54.150
were saying about her, about how relaxed she
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:56.569
was. Because apparently in ice skating, like
00:19:56.569 --> 00:19:59.369
when you're tense, it's very easy to tell because
00:19:59.369 --> 00:20:01.269
it's going to be difficult for you to execute
00:20:01.269 --> 00:20:04.769
all of these moves of smoothness and flexibility.
00:20:04.950 --> 00:20:08.509
And so when you are nervous and rigid. and anxious
00:20:08.509 --> 00:20:11.349
and tense, that actually makes your skating look
00:20:11.349 --> 00:20:14.150
worse, right? And so, and they even made those
00:20:14.150 --> 00:20:16.369
comments about other skaters that were falling.
00:20:16.430 --> 00:20:18.009
They're like, you know, you can tell they're
00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:20.869
tense, they're worried, they're worked up. And
00:20:20.869 --> 00:20:23.069
they're like, she just doesn't, not in a bad
00:20:23.069 --> 00:20:24.809
way, but she looked like she didn't care, you
00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:26.950
know? Like, and so she was there. And so they
00:20:26.950 --> 00:20:30.390
mentioned words like joy and it looks like she's
00:20:30.390 --> 00:20:33.210
just having fun. Like even just think about that
00:20:33.210 --> 00:20:36.259
phrase, those words, just having fun. And so
00:20:36.259 --> 00:20:37.920
I thought that was a really powerful illustration
00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:40.660
of what they were seeing, right? Like they were
00:20:40.660 --> 00:20:42.859
just reflecting what they were seeing and they're
00:20:42.859 --> 00:20:45.859
the experts. You know, I see two elite level
00:20:45.859 --> 00:20:47.599
ice skaters and I'm like, yep, they're good.
00:20:47.740 --> 00:20:49.819
Like I can't, you know, pick out the nuances
00:20:49.819 --> 00:20:52.319
of them, but they were right. Like she was having
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:54.140
a good time. Every time she landed something,
00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:56.519
she had that big smile and she was just, you
00:20:56.519 --> 00:20:59.140
know, and she got gold. And then when she got
00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:01.980
it, she just shook her head, yeah. She was like,
00:21:02.059 --> 00:21:04.420
yeah, it was good. That was it. That was good.
00:21:04.819 --> 00:21:07.559
And then you and I went back and watched Ilya's
00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:10.779
performance at the Worlds because it's the same
00:21:10.779 --> 00:21:13.309
routine. And you were like, this is what it was
00:21:13.309 --> 00:21:16.750
supposed to look like. And yeah, it was absolutely
00:21:16.750 --> 00:21:19.549
crushing. The only thing that changed was the
00:21:19.549 --> 00:21:22.490
environment. The last 14 competitions he was
00:21:22.490 --> 00:21:27.049
at, he got first place. And so to be in the environment
00:21:27.049 --> 00:21:29.430
in the Olympics, it was just, it was a different
00:21:29.430 --> 00:21:31.690
environment. They always talk about Olympic pressure,
00:21:31.829 --> 00:21:35.019
you know. And so, and, and his mind just didn't
00:21:35.019 --> 00:21:37.059
allow it. And what's actually interesting about
00:21:37.059 --> 00:21:40.119
that is he is the one earlier in the week that
00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:43.440
had actually nailed that performance to clinch
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.099
gold for the U S for the team competition. Like
00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:48.839
he is the one that earned gold for the team.
00:21:48.940 --> 00:21:52.079
So going into that, I mean, you know, there's
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:54.740
no reason he had to not be confident. And I think
00:21:54.740 --> 00:21:56.420
that's part of why he went in so confident. Like
00:21:56.420 --> 00:22:00.410
he had skated. already three times at this point,
00:22:00.490 --> 00:22:03.549
right? Same routines, same everything. Like he's
00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:06.609
the last guy, right? He's it. All he has to do
00:22:06.609 --> 00:22:09.869
is not mess it up. He was far enough ahead. All
00:22:09.869 --> 00:22:12.210
he had to do was not mess up. Even if he went
00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.549
from like a triple or a quad to a triple, it
00:22:15.549 --> 00:22:17.829
would have been better. But there were doubles
00:22:17.829 --> 00:22:20.289
and there was falls and there was like, it wasn't
00:22:20.289 --> 00:22:23.069
anywhere. Yeah. You just have to think about
00:22:23.069 --> 00:22:25.849
like, how do we, how do we prepare also to fail,
00:22:25.990 --> 00:22:28.640
right? How do we, because we're human. We are
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:31.880
going to fail, right? Failure is a guaranteed
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:35.299
part of life. So how are we going to fail well?
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:37.279
Like John, like you said earlier, John Maxwell's
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:40.299
failing forward. Like I am so excited to watch
00:22:40.299 --> 00:22:42.420
this journey and now I'm like slightly invested
00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:45.160
in his, in his journey and his, you could call
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.759
his a comeback too, right? Like I want to see
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:49.819
where this kid is going to go next and watch
00:22:49.819 --> 00:22:52.339
and see what he's going to be able to do and
00:22:52.339 --> 00:22:56.329
to watch him fail forward. And the example that
00:22:56.329 --> 00:23:00.190
he can be to all of us in that of bouncing back,
00:23:00.289 --> 00:23:02.789
coming back, proving to the world that I still
00:23:02.789 --> 00:23:05.029
got it. I mean, Tom Brady did it after losing,
00:23:05.190 --> 00:23:07.869
you know, after losing multiple Super Bowls,
00:23:07.869 --> 00:23:10.349
by the way, not just one time, right? Like he
00:23:10.349 --> 00:23:12.730
lost multiple Super Bowls. We just have to figure
00:23:12.730 --> 00:23:15.289
out what that looks like for us personally and
00:23:15.289 --> 00:23:17.670
practically. And what kind of things are we going
00:23:17.670 --> 00:23:21.450
to put into place before we fail? Because once
00:23:21.450 --> 00:23:23.470
we've failed, that's going to prove what you're
00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:26.849
really made of. It's not. right it's what is
00:23:26.849 --> 00:23:28.730
it that they say like it's not how you fail it's
00:23:28.730 --> 00:23:31.089
how you get back up so for this young man it's
00:23:31.089 --> 00:23:32.930
gonna be about how he's going to get back up
00:23:32.930 --> 00:23:34.289
and i think he's already started to prove that
00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:38.009
to us but as humans like we have to plan and
00:23:38.009 --> 00:23:40.009
put those guardrails in place and have people
00:23:40.009 --> 00:23:42.150
in our lives who are going to support us and
00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:44.609
be there for us when we do fail who are going
00:23:44.609 --> 00:23:47.849
to love us and and walk that road with us and
00:23:47.849 --> 00:23:49.670
help us pick up the pieces because sometimes
00:23:49.670 --> 00:23:52.170
they're really really big pieces and sometimes
00:23:52.170 --> 00:23:53.970
they're life -altering pieces and sometimes they're
00:23:53.970 --> 00:23:56.180
just little we went well, that was embarrassing.
00:23:56.259 --> 00:23:58.599
I messed that up. Okay, like there's different
00:23:58.599 --> 00:24:02.039
kinds of failure in that way. But how do we set
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:05.180
ourselves up to handle failure well? And I think
00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:08.410
for me, that's probably been such a... big like
00:24:08.410 --> 00:24:11.549
forward lesson in all of this. And I'm sure that
00:24:11.549 --> 00:24:14.170
there are several other stories within the Olympics.
00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:16.630
This one just happens to be one obviously closer
00:24:16.630 --> 00:24:18.910
to home because he is, he is American and the
00:24:18.910 --> 00:24:20.890
expectations and those kinds of things as well.
00:24:20.990 --> 00:24:24.250
But I, I love the lessons and the stories that
00:24:24.250 --> 00:24:27.970
come out of the Olympics. It's, it's all of these
00:24:27.970 --> 00:24:29.950
other athletes that we don't always necessarily
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:32.470
get to watch in these sports that we, you know,
00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:34.789
I watch speed skating once every four years or
00:24:34.789 --> 00:24:36.269
the ski, you know, like all these things, like
00:24:36.269 --> 00:24:38.640
we don't ever watch that. except this one time
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:40.720
when the whole world does. But the stories that
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.619
come out of it and what we as humans are capable
00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:46.880
of that we don't even know until we watch someone
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.259
else do that, right? Like how many of us... grew
00:24:50.259 --> 00:24:52.059
up watching the Olympics and were like, oh my
00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:54.160
gosh, I want to be an ice skater or I want to
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:56.640
be a snowboarder or I want to be, right? Like
00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:59.740
they inspire us to rise to more than what we
00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:01.660
think that we are capable of. And so I think
00:25:01.660 --> 00:25:04.339
that's the power of a sport and that's the power
00:25:04.339 --> 00:25:07.839
of not just viewing it as a lens of like taking
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:10.680
in the entertainment, right? But looking at it
00:25:10.680 --> 00:25:13.579
from a lens of personal growth, personal development,
00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:16.680
and challenging ourselves to view it from a different
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:20.750
lens. Sacrifice. Oh, the sacrifice. That's a
00:25:20.750 --> 00:25:22.930
whole nother, that could be a whole nother episode
00:25:22.930 --> 00:25:25.470
of the sacrifice, the discipline that it takes.
00:25:25.490 --> 00:25:27.730
Yeah, to be good at something, to be elite at
00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:30.990
something, you have to say no to a ton of other
00:25:30.990 --> 00:25:33.369
things, you know, like a lot of champions talk
00:25:33.369 --> 00:25:35.990
about. Max Verstappen in Formula One, for example,
00:25:36.009 --> 00:25:38.769
he's talked multiple times about retiring because
00:25:38.769 --> 00:25:41.309
he's like, yeah, I've already reached the top.
00:25:41.369 --> 00:25:43.970
I've reached the top multiple times and it's
00:25:43.970 --> 00:25:46.150
a lot. It's a huge commitment. And there's other
00:25:46.150 --> 00:25:47.930
things I want to do with my life before I'm mega
00:25:47.930 --> 00:25:51.589
old, you know? So the cost of being a champion
00:25:51.589 --> 00:25:54.950
is a lot. And another thing I thought about when
00:25:54.950 --> 00:25:57.950
you talked about the guardrails is not just preparing
00:25:57.950 --> 00:26:00.450
yourself for failure and for how you respond
00:26:00.450 --> 00:26:06.000
to it, but I think most of us, unless we... commit
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.519
some time to reframe failure, most of us have
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:13.180
a fear of failure. So fear of failure is something
00:26:13.180 --> 00:26:16.940
that also can cause you not to even try or to
00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:19.460
actually lock you up and get you paralyzed because
00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:22.740
you're so afraid of looking bad for failing.
00:26:23.099 --> 00:26:25.740
And I talk about a lot on this channel about
00:26:25.740 --> 00:26:28.779
being a recovering perfectionist. And when you're
00:26:28.779 --> 00:26:31.359
a perfectionist, then you have this expectation
00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:34.180
of yourself that, again, by definition, it is
00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:36.710
dumb. Because we all know we're not perfect.
00:26:36.789 --> 00:26:40.930
And as someone who... expects perfection of themselves,
00:26:41.250 --> 00:26:44.509
what an unbelievably unattainable goal. It seems
00:26:44.509 --> 00:26:47.930
like it will always spell failure. And so that's
00:26:47.930 --> 00:26:50.009
why I'm so passionate about reframing that. That
00:26:50.009 --> 00:26:52.650
fear of failure is something that I think needs
00:26:52.650 --> 00:26:55.789
to be part of people's guardrail to know that
00:26:55.789 --> 00:26:58.109
failure is inevitable. And when it does happen,
00:26:58.250 --> 00:27:00.829
what is the plan? It's not something to be afraid
00:27:00.829 --> 00:27:02.890
of. And then how do you respond to it afterwards
00:27:02.890 --> 00:27:05.970
can actually propel you to even better greatness
00:27:05.970 --> 00:27:09.450
because the lessons that it holds. are going
00:27:09.450 --> 00:27:14.329
to be stronger than the lessons that you get
00:27:14.329 --> 00:27:18.109
just by winning. Yeah, absolutely. So if you
00:27:18.109 --> 00:27:20.609
haven't seen their performances, I highly recommend
00:27:20.609 --> 00:27:23.490
that you go and watch. Now, I recommend you watch
00:27:23.490 --> 00:27:26.450
two of Ilya's. Watch the one where he crushed
00:27:26.450 --> 00:27:29.930
it, and then watch the one where he struggled,
00:27:30.190 --> 00:27:33.230
because I think that'll give you a really stark
00:27:33.230 --> 00:27:35.869
contrast in, one, show you what he's capable
00:27:35.869 --> 00:27:38.089
of if you're not already familiar, and then you
00:27:38.089 --> 00:27:40.809
can see what changed, and maybe some different
00:27:40.809 --> 00:27:43.609
interviews. It will be eye -opening to see kind
00:27:43.609 --> 00:27:46.049
of like how he responded. It's a really cool
00:27:46.049 --> 00:27:49.089
arc to look at. And then watch Alyssa's performance
00:27:49.089 --> 00:27:52.930
as well. It's so joy -filled and so cool to watch.
00:27:53.089 --> 00:27:55.670
And she has her exhibition skate as well that
00:27:55.670 --> 00:27:58.529
she crushes, just like Aaliyah does. And there's
00:27:58.529 --> 00:28:02.509
several exposés that the media does about her
00:28:02.509 --> 00:28:04.990
comeback. So it's really cool to see those two
00:28:04.990 --> 00:28:07.849
compared at the same Olympics, same sport. And
00:28:07.849 --> 00:28:12.440
remember, she won the gold medal. for women's
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:15.200
figure skating for the United States after a
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.200
24 -year drought. So this was a big deal. If
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:23.420
anyone had the justification to be consumed by
00:28:23.420 --> 00:28:28.299
pressure, I mean, that's crazy. You're the reigning
00:28:28.299 --> 00:28:31.900
world champion, just like him, and you have the
00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:34.480
chance to get the gold back to the United States
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:38.849
after a 24 -year drought. That that sounds horrible.
00:28:38.970 --> 00:28:41.269
Like skip that Olympics. Come back later. You
00:28:41.269 --> 00:28:44.569
know, like that's that's crazy. And I hadn't
00:28:44.569 --> 00:28:48.410
even considered that until until after after
00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:50.750
she won gold and they said something. And I was
00:28:50.750 --> 00:28:52.930
like, oh, my goodness. Like, I wonder how she
00:28:52.930 --> 00:28:56.210
kept that out of her head. But, you know, that's
00:28:56.210 --> 00:28:58.339
not why she was doing it. She wasn't. Like she
00:28:58.339 --> 00:29:00.440
had told some media that she's not even there
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.079
for the medals. And it's like, I guess a cynical
00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:05.019
person could be like, okay, yeah, right. You
00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:06.180
know, that's just what she's telling herself
00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:08.200
or whatever. But hey, proof is in the pudding
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:10.799
and the results speak for themselves. So thanks
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:13.539
for listening to the Optimizing Beyond podcast.
00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:16.160
Remember, growth happens when you take action.
00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:18.500
So subscribe, share this with a friend, and most
00:29:18.500 --> 00:29:20.779
importantly, put what you learned into practice.
00:29:21.059 --> 00:29:23.680
Until next time, keep moving forward because
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.180
daily anything changes everything.
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:05.219
Welcome to the Optimizing Beyond podcast. I'm
00:00:05.219 --> 00:00:07.379
Josh Nagron, and this show is all about sharing
00:00:07.379 --> 00:00:11.119
lessons, ideas, and strategies that sharpen your
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:13.939
thinking, strengthen your habits, and push you
00:00:13.939 --> 00:00:17.039
to grow beyond comfort zones. Let's dive in.
00:00:21.070 --> 00:00:23.190
Welcome back to the show. Today we're going to
00:00:23.190 --> 00:00:26.070
discuss the Olympics. That's right. You may have
00:00:26.070 --> 00:00:28.629
seen plenty going on with the Olympics. The United
00:00:28.629 --> 00:00:31.050
States has won a lot of gold. And today, actually,
00:00:31.250 --> 00:00:34.810
the United States won gold in hockey, which hasn't
00:00:34.810 --> 00:00:36.450
happened in how long? What did you say, Ashley?
00:00:36.670 --> 00:00:39.429
Since the miracle on ice in the early 80s. I
00:00:39.429 --> 00:00:44.030
think it was 82 I saw, 83? That's crazy. So it's
00:00:44.030 --> 00:00:46.719
been like 40 plus years. Yeah, for sure. So it's
00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:48.359
been it's been enjoyable. And I'll tell you,
00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:50.299
like, it's hard to catch everything, obviously.
00:00:50.420 --> 00:00:52.920
And I think we canceled Peacock like two months
00:00:52.920 --> 00:00:55.039
ago, which that was a horrible mistake at this
00:00:55.039 --> 00:01:00.000
point. Yeah, so we've been catching the I mean,
00:01:00.020 --> 00:01:02.500
for me, my favorite ones have been the the gold
00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:05.260
medal montages of each day. And I think that's
00:01:05.260 --> 00:01:07.469
really cool because you get to see. Lots of different
00:01:07.469 --> 00:01:10.650
things. Obviously, you get to see the best performance
00:01:10.650 --> 00:01:13.750
of that sport for that day, which I think is
00:01:13.750 --> 00:01:16.349
really cool. Then you also get to see just all
00:01:16.349 --> 00:01:19.750
the different reactions of people's long -fought
00:01:19.750 --> 00:01:22.290
fruit of all their efforts. And the Olympics
00:01:22.290 --> 00:01:24.170
only every four years, too. Just because you
00:01:24.170 --> 00:01:26.750
win Worlds doesn't mean the Olympics has that
00:01:26.750 --> 00:01:29.750
extra juice, right? So you get to see their reaction.
00:01:30.150 --> 00:01:32.409
You get to see their coaches, their family, everybody
00:01:32.409 --> 00:01:36.159
celebrating. What I found cool to see is... You'll
00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:38.099
see that all the different types of athletes,
00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:40.620
you'll see the veteran that's never gotten gold,
00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:42.739
you know, and it's, it's, this is basically like
00:01:42.739 --> 00:01:44.959
their last one. Maybe they're like mid third,
00:01:45.000 --> 00:01:46.859
mid to late thirties or something. And then they'll
00:01:46.859 --> 00:01:49.219
finally get it. And just, just a relief of finally
00:01:49.219 --> 00:01:51.719
achieving it. Then you'll see the, the dominant
00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:54.280
one. That's the favorite, just, just crushing
00:01:54.280 --> 00:01:57.000
it, you know, Olympics after Olympics. And then
00:01:57.000 --> 00:01:59.780
the, the, the, the Kazakhstan figure skater,
00:01:59.840 --> 00:02:02.480
right. That like got gold, totally didn't expect
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:05.439
it. And so that winning your first gold. without
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:08.400
even thinking, you know, when he went, he did
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:11.020
not. That was not on his bingo card, you know?
00:02:11.020 --> 00:02:13.080
So it's super cool just to see all those different
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things. Obviously, we could have multiple podcast
00:02:15.620 --> 00:02:18.960
episodes about the Olympics, but we wanted to
00:02:18.960 --> 00:02:23.520
contrast the, to stay on the theme of ice. We
00:02:23.520 --> 00:02:26.060
wanted to contrast the difference between Ilya
00:02:26.060 --> 00:02:28.919
Melanin, who is obviously the clear favorite
00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:31.539
to win gold, and I don't even think I need to
00:02:31.539 --> 00:02:34.400
say arguably the best male figure skater, the
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:36.740
best figure skater ever. I mean, when I looked
00:02:36.740 --> 00:02:41.159
it up, nobody has landed a quad axle in competition
00:02:41.159 --> 00:02:44.780
except for him. So there are other people that...
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:47.280
maybe have landed them in practice. But as far
00:02:47.280 --> 00:02:50.819
as like sanctioned competition, this guy crushes
00:02:50.819 --> 00:02:53.340
it. And so he was obviously the favorite to win.
00:02:53.879 --> 00:02:56.300
And then Alyssa Liu and just the difference between
00:02:56.300 --> 00:02:58.740
the Olympics when she was 16, four years ago
00:02:58.740 --> 00:03:01.340
and now. And so we want to kind of cover those
00:03:01.340 --> 00:03:05.139
two because they both went differently than I
00:03:05.139 --> 00:03:07.979
think everyone expected for both of them. And
00:03:07.979 --> 00:03:10.639
again, there's a really strong contrast. It was
00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:12.400
something that we really just wanted to discuss
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:14.960
with you guys. So Ashley, what were your thoughts
00:03:14.960 --> 00:03:17.219
to get us kicked off? Yeah, I think honestly,
00:03:17.379 --> 00:03:20.800
like it's one of the most practical, played out
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back to back examples. of how pressure can make
00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:29.039
you crumble or just doing something because you
00:03:29.039 --> 00:03:31.939
love it and the passion and the freedom that
00:03:31.939 --> 00:03:35.520
comes with no expectations, how those two things
00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:37.879
immediately contrasted each other in back -to
00:03:37.879 --> 00:03:40.439
-back evenings. And so, you know, Ilya talks
00:03:40.439 --> 00:03:42.960
about like, man, if I could have gone to the
00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:45.580
Olympics four years ago, he didn't make the Olympic
00:03:45.580 --> 00:03:47.539
team four years ago. So this was his very first
00:03:47.539 --> 00:03:50.379
time. He had all of the expectations of the world
00:03:50.379 --> 00:03:54.120
on him, right? Like that arena was packed. Standing
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room only, everyone came to see him. And I saw
00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:01.620
a post about a post that he had made that said
00:04:01.620 --> 00:04:04.080
as he went out onto the ice, you know, leading
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:06.000
up to that, he started thinking about every,
00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:09.270
you start thinking about every mistake. every
00:04:09.270 --> 00:04:12.949
conversation, every time you failed, every, every
00:04:12.949 --> 00:04:16.610
negative thing starts to fill up your mind. And
00:04:16.610 --> 00:04:18.389
that's what, that's what ended up winning out
00:04:18.389 --> 00:04:21.110
was the pressure and the negative side of things,
00:04:21.209 --> 00:04:22.850
you know? And he said, I went in so confident,
00:04:22.910 --> 00:04:25.389
maybe I was overconfident. And so I think that
00:04:25.389 --> 00:04:29.350
that, you know, um, I, in the middle of that,
00:04:29.389 --> 00:04:31.870
like, I felt so bad for him, like watching it
00:04:31.870 --> 00:04:35.449
just literally fall apart and there was nothing
00:04:35.449 --> 00:04:37.980
he could do to redeem it. yeah and for those
00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:40.980
of you who don't know so he he was the favorite
00:04:40.980 --> 00:04:43.579
to win he was at the very end of the evening
00:04:43.579 --> 00:04:45.220
because you know you could save the good the
00:04:45.220 --> 00:04:49.300
best for last yep arguably so yeah for sure and
00:04:49.300 --> 00:04:51.579
so the the entire arena is packed out for this
00:04:51.579 --> 00:04:54.300
guy i don't always follow figure skating so i
00:04:54.300 --> 00:04:57.060
i had heard over the last couple days that he
00:04:57.060 --> 00:05:00.660
was gonna be an absolute show to watch and so
00:05:00.660 --> 00:05:04.319
we were watching like uh, probably for like 45
00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:06.660
to 50 minutes because they, you know, they always
00:05:06.660 --> 00:05:09.259
tease the person coming up at the end, but you
00:05:09.259 --> 00:05:10.899
don't always know how long that's going to be.
00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:13.459
Um, so we were watching all these other skaters
00:05:13.459 --> 00:05:15.720
and all these other sports. I'm like, okay, like
00:05:15.720 --> 00:05:19.160
this kid better be worth it. Um, but then he
00:05:19.160 --> 00:05:22.160
gets up there and you can just tell, like, he
00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:24.579
has, I mean, he has swagger and confidence and
00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:26.860
cause he knows, like, I mean, in his belief,
00:05:26.939 --> 00:05:30.220
um, in, in, in past interviews, like he's just
00:05:30.220 --> 00:05:33.199
very confident. I mean, he gave himself the nickname
00:05:33.199 --> 00:05:36.139
Quad Gun. He did, he did. The confidence that
00:05:36.139 --> 00:05:38.899
comes from calling yourself that. He's also going
00:05:38.899 --> 00:05:43.480
on 14 straight wins in competition. Okay, so
00:05:43.480 --> 00:05:48.319
he's not a noob. He is there to win and there
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:51.660
to crush. And then, spoiler, he completely falls
00:05:51.660 --> 00:05:53.740
apart. When he's supposed to do his first quad
00:05:53.740 --> 00:05:56.439
jump, it ends up being only like a double or
00:05:56.439 --> 00:05:59.740
maybe a triple. And then you think like, okay,
00:05:59.819 --> 00:06:04.360
nerves, whatever. And then he, again, like stumbles
00:06:04.360 --> 00:06:07.879
and falls. And he wasn't the only skater to fall
00:06:07.879 --> 00:06:10.540
that night. So there were a couple skater experts
00:06:10.540 --> 00:06:13.660
that I talked to that were like, you know, maybe
00:06:13.660 --> 00:06:15.360
there was something wrong with the ice because
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:17.980
it seemed to always be in that area in that corner
00:06:17.980 --> 00:06:21.519
there or in that end of the rink rather. And,
00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:23.279
you know, maybe so. Maybe there was some soft
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:24.740
ice over there. Maybe there were some things
00:06:24.740 --> 00:06:28.500
going on. However, it... didn't change that the
00:06:28.500 --> 00:06:32.639
performance was not great. Nonetheless, the guy
00:06:32.639 --> 00:06:35.300
from Kazakhstan who ended up winning gold, he
00:06:35.300 --> 00:06:37.920
had an absolutely incredible performance. And
00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:41.319
Ilya got eighth. And so, Ashley, share with us
00:06:41.319 --> 00:06:45.560
what Alyssa Liu did and kind of some of that
00:06:45.560 --> 00:06:47.579
background, and then we can talk through just
00:06:47.579 --> 00:06:50.040
the kind of different approaches. Yeah, so I
00:06:50.040 --> 00:06:53.060
wasn't familiar with Alyssa Liu until going into
00:06:53.060 --> 00:06:56.000
these games. You know, she went to the Olympics
00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:58.399
four years ago when she was young. And then two
00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:01.279
years ago, she actually literally quit figure
00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:03.839
skating completely. She said, this isn't fun
00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:07.819
anymore. I'm not enjoying this. I am done. And
00:07:07.819 --> 00:07:11.220
so she actually didn't compete for about 18 months.
00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:13.759
And then not very long ago, she decided... And
00:07:13.759 --> 00:07:16.060
her coaches said that... Her coaches reported
00:07:16.060 --> 00:07:18.410
that... There were multiple times where she would
00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:20.689
get dropped off and she was just crying in the
00:07:20.689 --> 00:07:23.810
hallway. Like there was so much pressure on her,
00:07:23.850 --> 00:07:26.009
so much control over what she could eat, what
00:07:26.009 --> 00:07:28.689
she could do. Yeah, I mean, it sounded horrible.
00:07:29.029 --> 00:07:31.470
So she actually made the decision to step away
00:07:31.470 --> 00:07:34.490
from competition completely. and take a break
00:07:34.490 --> 00:07:36.790
and then decided to come back on her own terms.
00:07:36.949 --> 00:07:39.410
And she said, you know, if I come back, I want
00:07:39.410 --> 00:07:42.389
to pick my music. I want to be involved in the
00:07:42.389 --> 00:07:46.069
program. I want to design my costumes. No one's
00:07:46.069 --> 00:07:47.910
going to tell me what I can and can't eat. If
00:07:47.910 --> 00:07:51.069
I need to work harder, I will. If I'm burned
00:07:51.069 --> 00:07:53.029
out and I don't want to skate, I won't. I am
00:07:53.029 --> 00:07:55.750
in control of this now. And so I think what we
00:07:55.750 --> 00:07:58.769
watched, you know, and like she's known for the
00:07:58.769 --> 00:08:02.029
striped hair and, you know, just the kind of
00:08:02.029 --> 00:08:04.730
slight wildness that comes with being 20, right?
00:08:04.829 --> 00:08:07.329
And, you know, what you really just watched was
00:08:07.329 --> 00:08:10.529
someone who was doing it because of the joy and
00:08:10.529 --> 00:08:12.949
the love of the sport, not because there was
00:08:12.949 --> 00:08:14.470
all of this pressure. And she said, you know,
00:08:14.470 --> 00:08:17.709
I'm just here to show my art. And you can genuinely
00:08:17.709 --> 00:08:21.060
see that. And she has... beautiful skating. I
00:08:21.060 --> 00:08:23.939
mean, her lines and her jumps are just otherworldly.
00:08:23.939 --> 00:08:25.540
If you have not seen them, I highly recommend
00:08:25.540 --> 00:08:28.560
going to do that. But she skated with no pressure.
00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:32.159
And so that contrast of going in, the weight
00:08:32.159 --> 00:08:34.440
of the world versus all of these expectations,
00:08:34.700 --> 00:08:37.379
and then on the other side, someone who's just,
00:08:37.539 --> 00:08:40.399
not that Ilya doesn't love it, but he came into
00:08:40.399 --> 00:08:43.580
this with all of the pressure, all of the expectations.
00:08:43.860 --> 00:08:47.659
No one had any on her, right? Comebacks don't
00:08:47.659 --> 00:08:50.629
typically go like that. Yeah. Comebacks can,
00:08:50.710 --> 00:08:53.049
they, they normally, you know, her coaches actually
00:08:53.049 --> 00:08:54.730
tried to talk her out of it. Like comebacks can
00:08:54.730 --> 00:08:58.149
go very, very badly. Um, and she, she came back
00:08:58.149 --> 00:09:00.490
and she had won worlds before coming to the Olympics
00:09:00.490 --> 00:09:04.490
and did it because of the joy and love of the
00:09:04.490 --> 00:09:08.059
sport. And so I think there's some really good
00:09:08.059 --> 00:09:10.759
kind of life lessons that we can take from the
00:09:10.759 --> 00:09:14.559
greatest of the greatest, the most elite, the
00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:18.600
mindset that it takes to be able to perform at
00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:21.740
that kind of a level. How do we then apply that
00:09:21.740 --> 00:09:23.399
to our own lives? And so I think there's some
00:09:23.399 --> 00:09:25.590
really cool lessons there. Yeah, for sure. I
00:09:25.590 --> 00:09:28.529
mean, and she mentioned that she was not planning
00:09:28.529 --> 00:09:31.129
on going back to figure skating. She just ended
00:09:31.129 --> 00:09:35.129
up doing some skiing. And then she was like,
00:09:35.210 --> 00:09:38.529
hmm, maybe I'll strap on some skates again. And
00:09:38.529 --> 00:09:40.370
she said she did. I don't remember if it was
00:09:40.370 --> 00:09:44.350
a double axle or a triple axle, but she landed
00:09:44.350 --> 00:09:46.950
it like the first time after putting skates back
00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:49.399
on. And she was like, hmm. And she decided to
00:09:49.399 --> 00:09:51.399
call her coach and was like, hey, new ground
00:09:51.399 --> 00:09:53.620
rules. This is how we're going to do it. And
00:09:53.620 --> 00:09:57.759
so it's such a unique approach that I think is
00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:01.539
important to highlight because the pressure really
00:10:01.539 --> 00:10:05.539
can get you. We talked before about in my episode
00:10:05.539 --> 00:10:08.860
about the expectation effect. In the story that
00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:10.659
you tell yourself, the narrative that you tell
00:10:10.659 --> 00:10:12.779
yourself, we know that the placebo effect works,
00:10:12.820 --> 00:10:14.580
but there is something called the nocebo effect
00:10:14.580 --> 00:10:17.340
as well and has an inverse reaction. And so he
00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:20.080
seemed to have gotten overwhelmed by negative
00:10:20.080 --> 00:10:22.519
thoughts, negative emotions, like all the things
00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:25.659
that you need to do and execute well. And that
00:10:25.659 --> 00:10:30.399
to him, again, the best figure skater, it got
00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:33.889
to him and he could not perform, right? I think
00:10:33.889 --> 00:10:36.789
it also comes down to some of the conversations
00:10:36.789 --> 00:10:39.870
we've had too around the one that you feed. What
00:10:39.870 --> 00:10:42.110
are you feeding? Those young, young people, the
00:10:42.110 --> 00:10:44.549
pressure from social media, the things that people
00:10:44.549 --> 00:10:47.169
say about you, what are they taking in and what
00:10:47.169 --> 00:10:50.330
are they allowing into their heart and their
00:10:50.330 --> 00:10:53.070
minds? Then at the time, it may not feel like
00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:55.929
anything. You may not realize the consequences
00:10:55.929 --> 00:10:58.409
of that. But then in those high pressure moments,
00:10:58.629 --> 00:11:01.710
do we... and revert back really quickly to that
00:11:01.710 --> 00:11:03.570
or do that's what gets brought up in our mind,
00:11:03.649 --> 00:11:06.309
right? Like our brains are trained to bring up
00:11:06.309 --> 00:11:09.370
the worst case scenario, right? It's why you
00:11:09.370 --> 00:11:11.210
wake up in the middle of the night or you're
00:11:11.210 --> 00:11:12.629
trying to go to sleep and your brain goes, hey,
00:11:12.669 --> 00:11:14.669
remember that thing that you did back when you
00:11:14.669 --> 00:11:17.049
were in eighth grade and that time that you were
00:11:17.049 --> 00:11:19.029
completely and utterly humiliated and embarrassed
00:11:19.029 --> 00:11:21.429
and whatever, like, right? That's our brains.
00:11:21.950 --> 00:11:25.870
trained to do that and so we have to feed it
00:11:25.870 --> 00:11:28.509
something different you know and and i don't
00:11:28.509 --> 00:11:30.590
know you know what he's allowing what he's taking
00:11:30.590 --> 00:11:32.590
in what kind of music he's listening to what
00:11:32.590 --> 00:11:34.250
kind of people he's surrounding himself with
00:11:34.250 --> 00:11:38.610
no idea not a clue but from a personal like standpoint
00:11:38.610 --> 00:11:41.990
for us practically again it's back to that concept
00:11:41.990 --> 00:11:44.769
of what are we feeding and allowing and so what
00:11:45.450 --> 00:11:48.289
What are we going to tell our brains is the truth.
00:11:48.409 --> 00:11:50.629
That story that we tell ourselves. What are we
00:11:50.629 --> 00:11:54.009
going to say that I can do this or I am capable
00:11:54.009 --> 00:11:57.409
of this or I'm not going to allow this into my
00:11:57.409 --> 00:11:59.789
heart and into my mind. We just have to be so
00:11:59.789 --> 00:12:02.950
careful with what we fill ourselves with. I agree.
00:12:03.110 --> 00:12:06.090
I also enjoyed, you may have noticed, but before
00:12:06.090 --> 00:12:08.690
she won gold, when she finished, Ilya was there
00:12:08.690 --> 00:12:11.230
and the camera cut to him and he was like so
00:12:11.230 --> 00:12:14.389
happy for her and celebrating how well she skated.
00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:17.059
think he knew that was a podium performance.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:19.080
I don't know if he knew it was gold, of course,
00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:21.879
but he was, he was, it looked genuinely like
00:12:21.879 --> 00:12:25.320
joy and appreciation for what she accomplished
00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:28.120
there, which is something that's going to be
00:12:28.120 --> 00:12:29.980
a kind of a bittersweet thing for him because
00:12:29.980 --> 00:12:32.600
he wasn't able to execute. Right. So that was
00:12:32.600 --> 00:12:35.220
a really cool thing to witness just that sweetness
00:12:35.220 --> 00:12:37.720
in that moment where he was like, he approved
00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:40.419
and he was so proud and happy for her. Well,
00:12:40.460 --> 00:12:42.440
and also like, you know, if you go back and look
00:12:42.440 --> 00:12:45.419
at the clips of him after completely, because
00:12:45.419 --> 00:12:47.059
he was the last one, right? You talked about
00:12:47.059 --> 00:12:48.539
he was the last one to go for the evening. So
00:12:48.539 --> 00:12:50.700
it was pretty obvious very quickly through the
00:12:50.700 --> 00:12:52.639
routine that he was not going to meddle. And
00:12:52.639 --> 00:12:55.759
the way in which that he handled himself, the
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:58.659
maturity that he brought to the table, and the
00:12:58.659 --> 00:13:00.580
way in which that he congratulated the young
00:13:00.580 --> 00:13:03.200
man that won, and the way in which that he, the
00:13:03.200 --> 00:13:05.879
posture and he carried himself, right? So in
00:13:05.879 --> 00:13:09.370
that sense, he carried himself. someone way older
00:13:09.370 --> 00:13:13.190
and more mature than the age that he is right
00:13:13.190 --> 00:13:16.450
um you know and if you if you go back and watch
00:13:16.450 --> 00:13:19.029
he did a they did like a exhibition skate at
00:13:19.029 --> 00:13:21.490
the very end of all of this and he we watched
00:13:21.490 --> 00:13:25.190
it yesterday he skated to nf's song fear and
00:13:25.190 --> 00:13:27.970
i couldn't help but think like how much more
00:13:27.970 --> 00:13:32.009
appropriate that that that that skate was after
00:13:32.700 --> 00:13:36.039
having lost the gold and after having like everything
00:13:36.039 --> 00:13:39.639
crumbling, right? Like he didn't burst into tears.
00:13:39.820 --> 00:13:43.419
He didn't completely and utterly melt in that
00:13:43.419 --> 00:13:46.779
manner off the ice. He stayed calm and composed
00:13:46.779 --> 00:13:50.779
and just had to figure out how to roll with it.
00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:52.840
And in the coming days and in all of the interviews
00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:54.580
and all of the scrutiny and all of the social
00:13:54.580 --> 00:13:57.080
media, and honestly, like I'll tell you that
00:13:57.080 --> 00:14:00.480
that probably defined who he is more for me than
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.799
the fact that he quote unquote, failed on the
00:14:02.799 --> 00:14:06.379
ice. My suspicion is that he will learn far more
00:14:06.379 --> 00:14:11.059
from failing than he would have if he would have
00:14:11.059 --> 00:14:13.919
won. And my guess, I mean, he still has several
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.320
years ahead of him. He's super young. He's got
00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:18.740
time, right? He's got a good couple of games
00:14:18.740 --> 00:14:21.179
left in him, at least. But I have a suspicion
00:14:21.179 --> 00:14:25.139
that we're going to see a new, mentally tougher,
00:14:25.480 --> 00:14:30.230
stronger Ilya. And he will now become unbeatable.
00:14:30.330 --> 00:14:33.549
But often we have to have those moments of complete
00:14:33.549 --> 00:14:36.549
and utter like destruction sometimes to get our
00:14:36.549 --> 00:14:39.909
attention and to actually rebuild and teach ourselves
00:14:39.909 --> 00:14:42.909
to put up guardrails in place and to teach ourselves
00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:45.470
what it means to withstand the pressure and to
00:14:45.470 --> 00:14:50.370
perform under pressure. And we often learn more
00:14:50.370 --> 00:14:52.450
in the moments that we fail than we do in the
00:14:52.450 --> 00:14:54.289
moments of victory and triumph. Well, and you
00:14:54.289 --> 00:14:57.649
and I like to study champions. Whether it's Michael
00:14:57.649 --> 00:15:00.450
Jordan or Tom Brady or other dynasties like that.
00:15:00.570 --> 00:15:03.169
And I think when you were saying that, I thought
00:15:03.169 --> 00:15:06.950
of Tom Brady and how he describes that the most
00:15:06.950 --> 00:15:10.549
powerful shaping moments for him were the Super
00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:14.769
Bowl losses, right? I mean, the way he talks
00:15:14.769 --> 00:15:16.830
about them and the language that he uses, it's
00:15:16.830 --> 00:15:20.299
very... You could tell those lessons were definitely
00:15:20.299 --> 00:15:23.700
the ones because they still elicit a lot of emotion
00:15:23.700 --> 00:15:27.100
in those when he's describing those moments and
00:15:27.100 --> 00:15:30.100
those plays and what lost them the game, you
00:15:30.100 --> 00:15:32.039
know, in the helmet catch and all that crazy
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:34.580
stuff. And so you can you can really tell the
00:15:34.580 --> 00:15:38.500
power of failure. when you can approach it in
00:15:38.500 --> 00:15:40.559
the right way. You know, whether it's John Maxwell
00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:43.240
talking about failing forward and using it to
00:15:43.240 --> 00:15:45.279
your advantage. There was a podcast I listened
00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:49.700
to five or six years ago that talked about when
00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:53.220
they surveyed a ton of successful people, they
00:15:53.220 --> 00:15:56.860
asked, what trait do you think is the most important
00:15:56.860 --> 00:15:59.799
in business or whatever sector that they were
00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:02.500
in? And the answer, he's like, the number one
00:16:02.500 --> 00:16:05.500
surveyed answer was resilience, right? How you
00:16:05.500 --> 00:16:08.779
come back. from when you crumble or were crushed
00:16:08.779 --> 00:16:11.620
or were defeated. And so for Ilya, I think even
00:16:11.620 --> 00:16:15.600
already, like you said, he has shown that he
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:18.120
probably has some decent resilience, just even
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:20.919
he did not look dejected. I mean, obviously,
00:16:21.139 --> 00:16:24.639
especially the interview right after. The loss,
00:16:24.659 --> 00:16:26.580
you could tell. I mean, he was disappointed.
00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:29.500
Yeah, I mean, he's human, for crying out loud.
00:16:29.659 --> 00:16:32.179
But then, yeah, you're right. The different days
00:16:32.179 --> 00:16:34.720
leading after, it's looking like he's going to
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:37.240
come back with a vengeance. And that's in that
00:16:37.240 --> 00:16:39.419
case, like, it's different when you're defeated
00:16:39.419 --> 00:16:43.139
by an opponent. If they outperform you and you
00:16:43.139 --> 00:16:45.139
gave it everything, what do people say? If I
00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:47.419
can put my head down on my pillow at night and
00:16:47.419 --> 00:16:49.220
say I gave it everything and if it wasn't enough,
00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:50.980
then I'm like, then I can be at peace because
00:16:50.980 --> 00:16:53.320
I did everything I could. But when you defeat
00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:57.480
yourself. When your mind betrays you and then
00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:00.879
you just crumble under pressure or a situation
00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:04.259
like that, that is tough to handle. It's just
00:17:04.259 --> 00:17:06.940
so important to, like you said, what are you
00:17:06.940 --> 00:17:08.859
listening to? What are you watching? These are
00:17:08.859 --> 00:17:12.319
very practical things. And they might sound stuffy
00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:16.859
or old school, but it has a lot of, we talk about
00:17:16.859 --> 00:17:20.059
who your circle is, who your community is. That's
00:17:20.059 --> 00:17:21.980
going to show me your network. I'll show you
00:17:21.980 --> 00:17:23.579
your net worth. Those are the people that you're
00:17:23.579 --> 00:17:25.359
going to be. come. We talked about that in the
00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:28.180
last few episodes. And so all of those things,
00:17:28.279 --> 00:17:30.619
guarding your mind, guarding your heart against
00:17:30.619 --> 00:17:34.619
negativity and those kinds of things can be so
00:17:34.619 --> 00:17:39.339
pivotal on your trajectory in life, your potential
00:17:39.339 --> 00:17:42.359
for success, and so much more even. And I think
00:17:42.359 --> 00:17:46.200
just going a little bit deeper on Alyssa, to
00:17:46.200 --> 00:17:50.099
watch her just escape because she loved to do
00:17:50.099 --> 00:17:54.759
it was so beautiful. and to understand more of
00:17:54.759 --> 00:17:58.339
the backstory and more of that like for us like
00:17:58.339 --> 00:18:00.099
what does that look like like we need to find
00:18:00.099 --> 00:18:03.960
something that brings us joy and that um that
00:18:03.960 --> 00:18:09.039
feeds feeds our soul feeds you know a passion
00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:11.900
and desire that's in there within us like how
00:18:11.900 --> 00:18:14.680
do we how do we find that and then how do we
00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:17.869
hang on to it and sometimes you know People who
00:18:17.869 --> 00:18:21.809
tend to be entrepreneurs create and create a
00:18:21.809 --> 00:18:23.190
business around something that they love and
00:18:23.190 --> 00:18:25.269
that they're passionate about because it fits
00:18:25.269 --> 00:18:27.750
a need and a niche and whatever. And then eventually
00:18:27.750 --> 00:18:30.650
without proper boundaries and without staying
00:18:30.650 --> 00:18:32.710
the course and bringing other people along, right?
00:18:32.809 --> 00:18:35.609
Like all of a sudden what they once loved now
00:18:35.609 --> 00:18:38.500
is something that they just can't stand. And
00:18:38.500 --> 00:18:40.799
so I think for me, like thinking that through,
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:42.319
like that's probably the most practical examples
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.279
of that, right? Like we know people who have
00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:46.319
started a business because they love and adore
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:50.880
X, Y, and Z. And then, you know, after so many
00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:55.160
years, that pressure is there, the need to take
00:18:55.160 --> 00:18:56.900
care of your people, to make money, to provide
00:18:56.900 --> 00:18:58.740
for your family, like all of the pressures that
00:18:58.740 --> 00:19:01.200
come with that sometimes just become too much.
00:19:01.480 --> 00:19:04.400
And we have to figure out how to have the joy
00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:07.640
behind it and how to do it because we love it.
00:19:08.059 --> 00:19:09.960
And, you know, that's something I'm still like
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:12.039
processing through. Like there's a lot of things
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:14.680
in life that I really am passionate about and
00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:17.640
love doing, but would I still love them if that
00:19:17.640 --> 00:19:20.380
was my job? And I don't know how to answer that.
00:19:20.460 --> 00:19:21.720
You know, we've talked about several different
00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:23.500
things that I would like to do at some point
00:19:23.500 --> 00:19:25.660
in my life, but I think it's, you know, it's
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:28.420
making sure that the passion is still there and
00:19:28.420 --> 00:19:30.980
remembering why you're doing it, remembering
00:19:30.980 --> 00:19:34.000
your why, and then keeping. The main thing, the
00:19:34.000 --> 00:19:36.440
main thing, right? Like your family and your
00:19:36.440 --> 00:19:38.599
friends, those are the main thing. And we have
00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:41.640
to keep boundaries and guardrails in place so
00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:44.359
that certain things in our lives don't take over.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:48.200
I also noticed that when she was skating, the
00:19:48.200 --> 00:19:51.250
commentators, just what they were... what they
00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:54.150
were saying about her, about how relaxed she
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:56.569
was. Because apparently in ice skating, like
00:19:56.569 --> 00:19:59.369
when you're tense, it's very easy to tell because
00:19:59.369 --> 00:20:01.269
it's going to be difficult for you to execute
00:20:01.269 --> 00:20:04.769
all of these moves of smoothness and flexibility.
00:20:04.950 --> 00:20:08.509
And so when you are nervous and rigid. and anxious
00:20:08.509 --> 00:20:11.349
and tense, that actually makes your skating look
00:20:11.349 --> 00:20:14.150
worse, right? And so, and they even made those
00:20:14.150 --> 00:20:16.369
comments about other skaters that were falling.
00:20:16.430 --> 00:20:18.009
They're like, you know, you can tell they're
00:20:18.009 --> 00:20:20.869
tense, they're worried, they're worked up. And
00:20:20.869 --> 00:20:23.069
they're like, she just doesn't, not in a bad
00:20:23.069 --> 00:20:24.809
way, but she looked like she didn't care, you
00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:26.950
know? Like, and so she was there. And so they
00:20:26.950 --> 00:20:30.390
mentioned words like joy and it looks like she's
00:20:30.390 --> 00:20:33.210
just having fun. Like even just think about that
00:20:33.210 --> 00:20:36.259
phrase, those words, just having fun. And so
00:20:36.259 --> 00:20:37.920
I thought that was a really powerful illustration
00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:40.660
of what they were seeing, right? Like they were
00:20:40.660 --> 00:20:42.859
just reflecting what they were seeing and they're
00:20:42.859 --> 00:20:45.859
the experts. You know, I see two elite level
00:20:45.859 --> 00:20:47.599
ice skaters and I'm like, yep, they're good.
00:20:47.740 --> 00:20:49.819
Like I can't, you know, pick out the nuances
00:20:49.819 --> 00:20:52.319
of them, but they were right. Like she was having
00:20:52.319 --> 00:20:54.140
a good time. Every time she landed something,
00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:56.519
she had that big smile and she was just, you
00:20:56.519 --> 00:20:59.140
know, and she got gold. And then when she got
00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:01.980
it, she just shook her head, yeah. She was like,
00:21:02.059 --> 00:21:04.420
yeah, it was good. That was it. That was good.
00:21:04.819 --> 00:21:07.559
And then you and I went back and watched Ilya's
00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:10.779
performance at the Worlds because it's the same
00:21:10.779 --> 00:21:13.309
routine. And you were like, this is what it was
00:21:13.309 --> 00:21:16.750
supposed to look like. And yeah, it was absolutely
00:21:16.750 --> 00:21:19.549
crushing. The only thing that changed was the
00:21:19.549 --> 00:21:22.490
environment. The last 14 competitions he was
00:21:22.490 --> 00:21:27.049
at, he got first place. And so to be in the environment
00:21:27.049 --> 00:21:29.430
in the Olympics, it was just, it was a different
00:21:29.430 --> 00:21:31.690
environment. They always talk about Olympic pressure,
00:21:31.829 --> 00:21:35.019
you know. And so, and, and his mind just didn't
00:21:35.019 --> 00:21:37.059
allow it. And what's actually interesting about
00:21:37.059 --> 00:21:40.119
that is he is the one earlier in the week that
00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:43.440
had actually nailed that performance to clinch
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:46.099
gold for the U S for the team competition. Like
00:21:46.099 --> 00:21:48.839
he is the one that earned gold for the team.
00:21:48.940 --> 00:21:52.079
So going into that, I mean, you know, there's
00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:54.740
no reason he had to not be confident. And I think
00:21:54.740 --> 00:21:56.420
that's part of why he went in so confident. Like
00:21:56.420 --> 00:22:00.410
he had skated. already three times at this point,
00:22:00.490 --> 00:22:03.549
right? Same routines, same everything. Like he's
00:22:03.549 --> 00:22:06.609
the last guy, right? He's it. All he has to do
00:22:06.609 --> 00:22:09.869
is not mess it up. He was far enough ahead. All
00:22:09.869 --> 00:22:12.210
he had to do was not mess up. Even if he went
00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.549
from like a triple or a quad to a triple, it
00:22:15.549 --> 00:22:17.829
would have been better. But there were doubles
00:22:17.829 --> 00:22:20.289
and there was falls and there was like, it wasn't
00:22:20.289 --> 00:22:23.069
anywhere. Yeah. You just have to think about
00:22:23.069 --> 00:22:25.849
like, how do we, how do we prepare also to fail,
00:22:25.990 --> 00:22:28.640
right? How do we, because we're human. We are
00:22:28.640 --> 00:22:31.880
going to fail, right? Failure is a guaranteed
00:22:31.880 --> 00:22:35.299
part of life. So how are we going to fail well?
00:22:35.519 --> 00:22:37.279
Like John, like you said earlier, John Maxwell's
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:40.299
failing forward. Like I am so excited to watch
00:22:40.299 --> 00:22:42.420
this journey and now I'm like slightly invested
00:22:42.420 --> 00:22:45.160
in his, in his journey and his, you could call
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:47.759
his a comeback too, right? Like I want to see
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:49.819
where this kid is going to go next and watch
00:22:49.819 --> 00:22:52.339
and see what he's going to be able to do and
00:22:52.339 --> 00:22:56.329
to watch him fail forward. And the example that
00:22:56.329 --> 00:23:00.190
he can be to all of us in that of bouncing back,
00:23:00.289 --> 00:23:02.789
coming back, proving to the world that I still
00:23:02.789 --> 00:23:05.029
got it. I mean, Tom Brady did it after losing,
00:23:05.190 --> 00:23:07.869
you know, after losing multiple Super Bowls,
00:23:07.869 --> 00:23:10.349
by the way, not just one time, right? Like he
00:23:10.349 --> 00:23:12.730
lost multiple Super Bowls. We just have to figure
00:23:12.730 --> 00:23:15.289
out what that looks like for us personally and
00:23:15.289 --> 00:23:17.670
practically. And what kind of things are we going
00:23:17.670 --> 00:23:21.450
to put into place before we fail? Because once
00:23:21.450 --> 00:23:23.470
we've failed, that's going to prove what you're
00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:26.849
really made of. It's not. right it's what is
00:23:26.849 --> 00:23:28.730
it that they say like it's not how you fail it's
00:23:28.730 --> 00:23:31.089
how you get back up so for this young man it's
00:23:31.089 --> 00:23:32.930
gonna be about how he's going to get back up
00:23:32.930 --> 00:23:34.289
and i think he's already started to prove that
00:23:34.289 --> 00:23:38.009
to us but as humans like we have to plan and
00:23:38.009 --> 00:23:40.009
put those guardrails in place and have people
00:23:40.009 --> 00:23:42.150
in our lives who are going to support us and
00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:44.609
be there for us when we do fail who are going
00:23:44.609 --> 00:23:47.849
to love us and and walk that road with us and
00:23:47.849 --> 00:23:49.670
help us pick up the pieces because sometimes
00:23:49.670 --> 00:23:52.170
they're really really big pieces and sometimes
00:23:52.170 --> 00:23:53.970
they're life -altering pieces and sometimes they're
00:23:53.970 --> 00:23:56.180
just little we went well, that was embarrassing.
00:23:56.259 --> 00:23:58.599
I messed that up. Okay, like there's different
00:23:58.599 --> 00:24:02.039
kinds of failure in that way. But how do we set
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:05.180
ourselves up to handle failure well? And I think
00:24:05.180 --> 00:24:08.410
for me, that's probably been such a... big like
00:24:08.410 --> 00:24:11.549
forward lesson in all of this. And I'm sure that
00:24:11.549 --> 00:24:14.170
there are several other stories within the Olympics.
00:24:14.250 --> 00:24:16.630
This one just happens to be one obviously closer
00:24:16.630 --> 00:24:18.910
to home because he is, he is American and the
00:24:18.910 --> 00:24:20.890
expectations and those kinds of things as well.
00:24:20.990 --> 00:24:24.250
But I, I love the lessons and the stories that
00:24:24.250 --> 00:24:27.970
come out of the Olympics. It's, it's all of these
00:24:27.970 --> 00:24:29.950
other athletes that we don't always necessarily
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:32.470
get to watch in these sports that we, you know,
00:24:32.470 --> 00:24:34.789
I watch speed skating once every four years or
00:24:34.789 --> 00:24:36.269
the ski, you know, like all these things, like
00:24:36.269 --> 00:24:38.640
we don't ever watch that. except this one time
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:40.720
when the whole world does. But the stories that
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.619
come out of it and what we as humans are capable
00:24:43.619 --> 00:24:46.880
of that we don't even know until we watch someone
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:50.259
else do that, right? Like how many of us... grew
00:24:50.259 --> 00:24:52.059
up watching the Olympics and were like, oh my
00:24:52.059 --> 00:24:54.160
gosh, I want to be an ice skater or I want to
00:24:54.160 --> 00:24:56.640
be a snowboarder or I want to be, right? Like
00:24:56.640 --> 00:24:59.740
they inspire us to rise to more than what we
00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:01.660
think that we are capable of. And so I think
00:25:01.660 --> 00:25:04.339
that's the power of a sport and that's the power
00:25:04.339 --> 00:25:07.839
of not just viewing it as a lens of like taking
00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:10.680
in the entertainment, right? But looking at it
00:25:10.680 --> 00:25:13.579
from a lens of personal growth, personal development,
00:25:13.599 --> 00:25:16.680
and challenging ourselves to view it from a different
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:20.750
lens. Sacrifice. Oh, the sacrifice. That's a
00:25:20.750 --> 00:25:22.930
whole nother, that could be a whole nother episode
00:25:22.930 --> 00:25:25.470
of the sacrifice, the discipline that it takes.
00:25:25.490 --> 00:25:27.730
Yeah, to be good at something, to be elite at
00:25:27.730 --> 00:25:30.990
something, you have to say no to a ton of other
00:25:30.990 --> 00:25:33.369
things, you know, like a lot of champions talk
00:25:33.369 --> 00:25:35.990
about. Max Verstappen in Formula One, for example,
00:25:36.009 --> 00:25:38.769
he's talked multiple times about retiring because
00:25:38.769 --> 00:25:41.309
he's like, yeah, I've already reached the top.
00:25:41.369 --> 00:25:43.970
I've reached the top multiple times and it's
00:25:43.970 --> 00:25:46.150
a lot. It's a huge commitment. And there's other
00:25:46.150 --> 00:25:47.930
things I want to do with my life before I'm mega
00:25:47.930 --> 00:25:51.589
old, you know? So the cost of being a champion
00:25:51.589 --> 00:25:54.950
is a lot. And another thing I thought about when
00:25:54.950 --> 00:25:57.950
you talked about the guardrails is not just preparing
00:25:57.950 --> 00:26:00.450
yourself for failure and for how you respond
00:26:00.450 --> 00:26:06.000
to it, but I think most of us, unless we... commit
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.519
some time to reframe failure, most of us have
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:13.180
a fear of failure. So fear of failure is something
00:26:13.180 --> 00:26:16.940
that also can cause you not to even try or to
00:26:16.940 --> 00:26:19.460
actually lock you up and get you paralyzed because
00:26:19.460 --> 00:26:22.740
you're so afraid of looking bad for failing.
00:26:23.099 --> 00:26:25.740
And I talk about a lot on this channel about
00:26:25.740 --> 00:26:28.779
being a recovering perfectionist. And when you're
00:26:28.779 --> 00:26:31.359
a perfectionist, then you have this expectation
00:26:31.359 --> 00:26:34.180
of yourself that, again, by definition, it is
00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:36.710
dumb. Because we all know we're not perfect.
00:26:36.789 --> 00:26:40.930
And as someone who... expects perfection of themselves,
00:26:41.250 --> 00:26:44.509
what an unbelievably unattainable goal. It seems
00:26:44.509 --> 00:26:47.930
like it will always spell failure. And so that's
00:26:47.930 --> 00:26:50.009
why I'm so passionate about reframing that. That
00:26:50.009 --> 00:26:52.650
fear of failure is something that I think needs
00:26:52.650 --> 00:26:55.789
to be part of people's guardrail to know that
00:26:55.789 --> 00:26:58.109
failure is inevitable. And when it does happen,
00:26:58.250 --> 00:27:00.829
what is the plan? It's not something to be afraid
00:27:00.829 --> 00:27:02.890
of. And then how do you respond to it afterwards
00:27:02.890 --> 00:27:05.970
can actually propel you to even better greatness
00:27:05.970 --> 00:27:09.450
because the lessons that it holds. are going
00:27:09.450 --> 00:27:14.329
to be stronger than the lessons that you get
00:27:14.329 --> 00:27:18.109
just by winning. Yeah, absolutely. So if you
00:27:18.109 --> 00:27:20.609
haven't seen their performances, I highly recommend
00:27:20.609 --> 00:27:23.490
that you go and watch. Now, I recommend you watch
00:27:23.490 --> 00:27:26.450
two of Ilya's. Watch the one where he crushed
00:27:26.450 --> 00:27:29.930
it, and then watch the one where he struggled,
00:27:30.190 --> 00:27:33.230
because I think that'll give you a really stark
00:27:33.230 --> 00:27:35.869
contrast in, one, show you what he's capable
00:27:35.869 --> 00:27:38.089
of if you're not already familiar, and then you
00:27:38.089 --> 00:27:40.809
can see what changed, and maybe some different
00:27:40.809 --> 00:27:43.609
interviews. It will be eye -opening to see kind
00:27:43.609 --> 00:27:46.049
of like how he responded. It's a really cool
00:27:46.049 --> 00:27:49.089
arc to look at. And then watch Alyssa's performance
00:27:49.089 --> 00:27:52.930
as well. It's so joy -filled and so cool to watch.
00:27:53.089 --> 00:27:55.670
And she has her exhibition skate as well that
00:27:55.670 --> 00:27:58.529
she crushes, just like Aaliyah does. And there's
00:27:58.529 --> 00:28:02.509
several exposés that the media does about her
00:28:02.509 --> 00:28:04.990
comeback. So it's really cool to see those two
00:28:04.990 --> 00:28:07.849
compared at the same Olympics, same sport. And
00:28:07.849 --> 00:28:12.440
remember, she won the gold medal. for women's
00:28:12.440 --> 00:28:15.200
figure skating for the United States after a
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.200
24 -year drought. So this was a big deal. If
00:28:18.200 --> 00:28:23.420
anyone had the justification to be consumed by
00:28:23.420 --> 00:28:28.299
pressure, I mean, that's crazy. You're the reigning
00:28:28.299 --> 00:28:31.900
world champion, just like him, and you have the
00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:34.480
chance to get the gold back to the United States
00:28:34.480 --> 00:28:38.849
after a 24 -year drought. That that sounds horrible.
00:28:38.970 --> 00:28:41.269
Like skip that Olympics. Come back later. You
00:28:41.269 --> 00:28:44.569
know, like that's that's crazy. And I hadn't
00:28:44.569 --> 00:28:48.410
even considered that until until after after
00:28:48.410 --> 00:28:50.750
she won gold and they said something. And I was
00:28:50.750 --> 00:28:52.930
like, oh, my goodness. Like, I wonder how she
00:28:52.930 --> 00:28:56.210
kept that out of her head. But, you know, that's
00:28:56.210 --> 00:28:58.339
not why she was doing it. She wasn't. Like she
00:28:58.339 --> 00:29:00.440
had told some media that she's not even there
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:03.079
for the medals. And it's like, I guess a cynical
00:29:03.079 --> 00:29:05.019
person could be like, okay, yeah, right. You
00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:06.180
know, that's just what she's telling herself
00:29:06.180 --> 00:29:08.200
or whatever. But hey, proof is in the pudding
00:29:08.200 --> 00:29:10.799
and the results speak for themselves. So thanks
00:29:10.799 --> 00:29:13.539
for listening to the Optimizing Beyond podcast.
00:29:13.799 --> 00:29:16.160
Remember, growth happens when you take action.
00:29:16.279 --> 00:29:18.500
So subscribe, share this with a friend, and most
00:29:18.500 --> 00:29:20.779
importantly, put what you learned into practice.
00:29:21.059 --> 00:29:23.680
Until next time, keep moving forward because
00:29:23.680 --> 00:29:26.180
daily anything changes everything.
