WEBVTT
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:08.720
Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important to them.
00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:14.640
See, I'm here to copy all the noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:17.839
I used to live away the copper job and I hated it.
00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:21.280
But I broke through the social noise and too much happy.
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.079
As a result, I am my own coffee company.
00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:25.519
I'm just supposed to complain.
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:27.120
And I get this crapable.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.719
You too can live a life that you like.
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:32.799
It starts with the incredible too.
00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:34.960
It starts within this.
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.759
I'm your host, Daniel Rams.
00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:41.439
One life.
00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:53.119
Good morning, everybody.
00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:58.399
So today I have a very, very uh very good episode for you.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.640
And this one is all about stories.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:09.599
Said differently, this is about the stories you tell yourself in life to as to why you have or don't have the thing you want in life.
00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:16.959
And the power behind this is that once you recognize the story, because right now the story might be living unconscious in your life.
00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:21.120
You might just be rolling this pattern over and over.
00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:25.680
And as a result, you're you're literally sleeping on different parts of your life.
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:30.799
And as I had mentioned before, sometimes stories help us, sometimes they propel us forward.
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:40.400
But when we're not in an area or we're not in a place we want to be in a particular area of our life, that means we are holding on to a story that is holding us back.
00:01:40.959 --> 00:02:05.280
So the intention of this episode here is just to familiarize you with the concept of a story, uh, tell you what it is, what they do at their best, what they do at their worst, but also how to identify and then craft it to let go of an old story and craft something new that could bring you to the new version of yourself into a brighter future.
00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:07.120
So let's talk about a story.
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:08.560
What is a story?
00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:13.439
A story is essentially it's a belief about an experience you had.
00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:24.719
When you think about an experience you had, usually the experiences we remember are marked by some kind of extreme emotional uh intensity or a feeling.
00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:27.120
If you just think back to your day, right?
00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:31.840
And if I say, hey, tell me what you ate last week for lunch, you'd be like, freak do I know?
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:33.039
Would I ate for lunch?
00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:33.919
I don't freaking know.
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:39.840
But if you went to this new Japanese ramen place and you love ramen, you're like, oh my god.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:44.240
I went to this new Japanese ramen place and it was the best ramen I've ever had.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.280
It's just like I had it when I was in Tokyo.
00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:50.560
And then why did you remember one over the other?
00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:54.479
It was because one, you had emotional intensity, you love ramen, right?
00:02:54.639 --> 00:03:04.960
So as a result of loving it, there was already the uh the attraction or the um the the passion for for something that was already there.
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:10.639
And the fact that it was good actually makes it stick in your memory because it created an emotional response.
00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:17.840
Now that is something that's very neutral, but let's look at something that is uh more beneficial, right?
00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:27.599
You you see someone on TV or on YouTube, I'll throw this out there because it's one of mine, um, who is traveling, they're having experiences, they're blogging, and they're doing what they love.
00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:31.280
You're like, that looks freaking amazing.
00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:40.319
So you start doing it and you start to create a story as to you see that and you create the story that you are gonna do that for coffee, right?
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:43.520
So and now you have a story as, and then you create why.
00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:46.719
Well, why am I the best version person for this?
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:49.599
Because I coffee's been my passion.
00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:52.080
I travel around the world doing coffee, anyways.
00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:56.800
The only thing I need to do now is record it, and people would be interested in it because I am interested in it.
00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:59.759
And coffee is one of the most popular beverages on the world.
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.199
Good story, right?
00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:12.159
On the flip side, if you were to tell a bad story about that, you'd be like, Well, nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, or no one's gonna watch.
00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:18.319
And what you may be basing that on is maybe you posted a video once, right?
00:04:18.399 --> 00:04:19.920
And you and you didn't get any views.
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.319
You looked, you looked at your Instagram, you're like, What the hell, man?
00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:23.040
No views?
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.879
It was one, and like and it was a comment from your your brother or your mother.
00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:33.120
So you can create the notice how the the story was created in in both places.
00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:38.240
The story was created, you gave meaning to what that story meant.
00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:41.600
And um, so how does it impact you, right?
00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.240
I mean, I just I gave you this this example.
00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:54.879
Like one of the impacts is it's not gonna move you forward, it's gonna make you feel retract, play small, where the other one is gonna say, you know, it's gonna push you forward.
00:04:54.959 --> 00:05:06.240
And even if there are some failures along the way, you are gonna keep going because you know exactly what it is you want, and you've already created an empowering story as to why you should be the one to do it.
00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:11.199
And so that is the same thing that happens in every single area of our life.
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:25.120
You have, there's no doubt in my mind, you have areas of your life where you are thriving, and it's because you have a good story, and there's areas of your life where you're not doing as well as you would have liked, and there's a story at play there.
00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:31.040
So, how do you identify the story that's going on?
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:32.879
Well, it's quite easy.
00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:49.360
So, the when you think about a story that's the story in your life, one of the things you have to think about is just like when you are moving towards a direction or when you express interest in a particular outcome or objective for your life, what immediately follows it?
00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:50.240
Right?
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:59.360
Like, what is the the you know, you may be like, oh, I like as I just mentioned, I want to create a YouTube channel for coffee people uh with my travels around the world, right?
00:05:59.439 --> 00:06:04.560
And then there's this like pullback, and then what's the story you're telling yourself?
00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:08.319
Is it like no one will watch me, I'm not good at social media?
00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:17.279
Once you see the story, once you recognize the story, then it's up to you.
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:19.680
You have the you've identified it, right?
00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:23.439
And then you could see if you want to go further, you can think, well, why did I develop this belief?
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:31.439
And normally it's gonna be tied to some kind of emotional, uh, emotional um, what's the word I'm looking for?
00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:37.199
Memory or lack of better words, emotion some kind of tr trigger in it from your past, right?
00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:38.879
That you gave meaning to.
00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.240
But realize that you are the person that's given them meaning.
00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.959
And as a result of that meaning, you get to choose what you want, right?
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:51.519
You could be like, oh, nobody watched it, no one cares, I suck at this, or you can be like, no one watched it, I'm learning.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:56.399
And as I get better, I'm gonna create better content, and more people are gonna be interested in what I have to say.
00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:00.079
Realizing that it's one is a growth, one is a fixed mindset.
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.399
And uh the the truth, right?
00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:09.199
And I I just kind of gave the answer there when I when I explained that one is what is the truth?
00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:09.759
Right?
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:20.000
Like you'll you'll know, like it easily, you can easily identify the the the falsehood in the narrative that like no one wants to watch you because you didn't get a view.
00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:27.279
But everyone knows, like, I mean, there's so much stuff coming at you today, this day and age, where I mean it's coming at a million miles an hour.
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:32.319
People don't even stick to something unless they've seen it 16 times, right?
00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:38.480
That's why one of the messages they flash, flash, flash, and then like the 16th time, you're like, oh, that looks interesting.
00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:40.240
Maybe I should pay attention to it.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:44.639
But it isn't only until you have that repetition, right?
00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:46.319
So that is the truth.
00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:50.240
And then you create something empowering, something that is going to move you forward.
00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:56.079
And then the last thing is just simply to take action to solidify the new belief.
00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:58.720
So I'm gonna give you an example from my own life.
00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:08.079
One of the things that um that I had struggled with for a long time, and it was the uh identity around living home at my parents' house.
00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:17.839
So I would, when people will talk, they would ask me about relationships, and I'd like, oh, well, I didn't find the right one, or I would give some kind of generic answer.
00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:21.839
But on the inside, I felt something very different.
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:26.319
On the inside, I felt that I wasn't worthy of a relationship because I had moved back home.
00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:33.919
I felt that I would be judged because I had been judged, and sometimes by friends who would make comments.
00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:38.639
And would in my mind, you know, like I would feel it, and in my mind, I'm like, I hate you.
00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.440
You know, you know, and it created, it created a separation in that friendship.
00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:48.159
There are some of those friendships where like I just don't feel connected because I feel like I was being judged.
00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:57.759
Nevertheless, I should have said something and stated more of a boundary there, and that's but that's a that's another thing I'm I'm growing on, is just setting boundaries and speaking more of my truth.
00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:02.879
So going back to that, so that was a story that I was telling myself, right?
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:12.480
And it then the truth is it's not that I didn't live on my own or I didn't own my own home at one point, and I didn't move away to like you know, Italy for a few months.
00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:25.679
I didn't go to my there's you know, what I'm trying to tell you is that I was focused on creating a disempowering meaning for myself, not looking at all the other things that could prove counter.
00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:32.399
And what my intention behind going back home was wanted to save money, right?
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.960
I wanted, I want to eventually want to get my own place.
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:36.960
Two, I wanted to travel, right?
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:43.519
Not having the house and letting my uh at the time I was living with my brother, and then later his wife now moved in.
00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:44.799
So I let them take the house.
00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:46.320
I'm like, listen, take it.
00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.080
I want the freedom to go travel and live somewhere else.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:51.200
Go ahead.
00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:59.919
So it it wasn't that I you know, I there was a there was a reason behind it, but I wasn't telling myself that reason.
00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:02.080
And as a result, I would feel bad.
00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:11.600
It would, I would count myself out before I even gave myself a chance in some in some relationships, probably, or even if it wasn't a relationship, just how I showed up.
00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:12.399
Right?
00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:16.480
And and the reason I tell you this is because this is kind of part of my own journey, right?
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:29.519
By me sharing this, something that was so difficult for me, you could realize and see yourself in my story, and the thing that maybe you felt guilty about or you felt shame on, you could transform it into something beautiful.
00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:40.879
So looking at that, I mean, the story was that no one would want me because I was living home, or the that um that no one would take me serious or that I was a failure.
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:41.519
Right?
00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:44.399
But but again, now let's look to the new story.
00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:46.159
What is what is the truth?
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:46.799
Right?
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:48.159
What is the truth of that?
00:10:48.320 --> 00:10:49.519
Like I wrote it down here.
00:10:49.600 --> 00:11:00.799
I said, I've been smart and strategic by saving my money while I was living home, setting myself for a strong, independent future while also allowing me to have life experiences focused on the launch of my business.
00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:06.399
The right people will see my ambition and my value in and the value in my journey.
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.480
How do you weigh those two now?
00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:11.279
Right?
00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:18.559
One is was heavy, the other one is very light, and and it focuses on the truth because the close friends of mine, there is no judgment, right?
00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:23.039
The people that are in my inner circle, there's no judgment there.
00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:36.879
And all the things that I just stated were my intention because I wanted to go experience, like I wanted to not have the weight of having to have something like uh an apartment there because I wanted to be uh I wanted to be on the world.
00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:40.639
And be honest with you, I wanted to live somewhere out in the world as well.
00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:46.639
And now my business is, you know, my my desires are are shifting at the moment.
00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:51.519
They and I'm putting more time and attention into my business, but I'm still living, right?
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:56.639
I'm still going out there, I'm still traveling around the world because I that's something that I really value.
00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:59.759
And so this is the real story.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:07.919
And you can see from just the way it was stated how it would make you feel, and just how you know how I feel.
00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:20.639
If you probably rewind this video, or if you're listening it to it on uh on podcasts, you'll probably, you know, you'll probably hear differences in the cadence and tonality of my voice as I'm explaining this.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:21.679
Right?
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:29.200
So the the point I want you to make or to take is that you are in control of the story you tell yourself.
00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:33.840
And your the story you're telling yourself is either gonna pull you back or push you forward.
00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:45.919
But you are the one that gets to decide and give the meaning to the uh to the experiences and the yeah, the the experiences of your life.
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:54.960
And the last thing just to solidify it, is just to take action, do something that is in accordance with that story.
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:57.440
One of the reasons we want to hear more of now, right?
00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:02.080
Me sharing this story with you solidifies what I had just said.
00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:06.879
Because no longer am I harboring it and trying to like protect myself.
00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:12.080
Now I'm just saying, no, this is what it is, this is the truth, this is who I am, like it or not.
00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:14.639
If you don't, see you later.
00:13:14.879 --> 00:13:16.000
So, what is it for you?
00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:18.879
What are the steps that you are being called to take?
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.240
What are the stories that are no longer serving you in your life?
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:33.279
And you don't have to, I mean, if you can make a mental note of this, just set the intention, say, let me be aware of the stories that are guiding my life that are no longer serving me.
00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:34.720
And then just let it go.
00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:40.639
Like think, say those words to yourself, take a deep breath in, say thank you, and then let it go.
00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:42.080
Go about your day.
00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:46.159
You'll be surprised as you go about your day, and things are popping up.
00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:48.480
You're those stories are gonna make themselves known.
00:13:48.799 --> 00:14:00.639
And your only job is just to capture them, capture them on a piece of paper, and then at the very end of the night, look at those stories, capture how they make you feel, and then create more empowering story taking the action.
00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:11.360
Maybe the action is not something you take in like that evening, but maybe next time someone says something to you, you respond with this new story, with the new belief system that you created.
00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:16.559
Do that enough and you will create a new reality for yourself.
00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:27.039
Because anything you want or don't want, I mean, I'm looking at I have this uh uh it's a coaster, and but I hung it on my wall and goes, change your story and you will change your life.
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:28.240
Do it enough.
00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:31.759
Make it part of who you are and you will change your life.
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.840
So I hope this, I hope this serves you.
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:38.879
My intention, again, my intention here was just to make you aware of the stories that are controlling your life.
00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:47.120
So this way you can break free from those and live a life that's more intentional and more aligned with who you are, your core, your passion, your desires.
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.879
Because life is short and we want to make the most of every single day.
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:52.879
But in order to do that, we got to do the work.
00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:55.039
So again, I hope you enjoy this podcast.
00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:58.480
If you did, please share it with someone whom you feel would benefit from it.
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:00.159
Uh, hit that subscribe button.
00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:03.279
And if you'd like, leave a comment on Spotify or Apple.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:11.679
And uh as always, if you have any questions, you can send them to me via my website at donnierouse.com, D-O-N-N-Y-R-A-U-S.com.
00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:13.360
Thank you so much for tuning in.
00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:15.759
And remember, you only get one life.
00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:23.519
Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, drink rouse coffee and I threw another one in there, and live now.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:26.879
God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.
00:00:01.360 --> 00:00:08.720
Most people spend their entire life stressed without ever giving a single thought as to what it is they really want and what's important to them.
00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:14.640
See, I'm here to copy all the noise connecting you to yourself and the life that you were meant to live.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:17.839
I used to live away the copper job and I hated it.
00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:21.280
But I broke through the social noise and too much happy.
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:24.079
As a result, I am my own coffee company.
00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:25.519
I'm just supposed to complain.
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:27.120
And I get this crapable.
00:00:28.399 --> 00:00:30.719
You too can live a life that you like.
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:32.799
It starts with the incredible too.
00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:34.960
It starts within this.
00:00:36.159 --> 00:00:37.759
I'm your host, Daniel Rams.
00:00:40.399 --> 00:00:41.439
One life.
00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:53.119
Good morning, everybody.
00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:58.399
So today I have a very, very uh very good episode for you.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.640
And this one is all about stories.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:09.599
Said differently, this is about the stories you tell yourself in life to as to why you have or don't have the thing you want in life.
00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:16.959
And the power behind this is that once you recognize the story, because right now the story might be living unconscious in your life.
00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:21.120
You might just be rolling this pattern over and over.
00:01:21.519 --> 00:01:25.680
And as a result, you're you're literally sleeping on different parts of your life.
00:01:25.760 --> 00:01:30.799
And as I had mentioned before, sometimes stories help us, sometimes they propel us forward.
00:01:31.120 --> 00:01:40.400
But when we're not in an area or we're not in a place we want to be in a particular area of our life, that means we are holding on to a story that is holding us back.
00:01:40.959 --> 00:02:05.280
So the intention of this episode here is just to familiarize you with the concept of a story, uh, tell you what it is, what they do at their best, what they do at their worst, but also how to identify and then craft it to let go of an old story and craft something new that could bring you to the new version of yourself into a brighter future.
00:02:05.599 --> 00:02:07.120
So let's talk about a story.
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:08.560
What is a story?
00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:13.439
A story is essentially it's a belief about an experience you had.
00:02:14.080 --> 00:02:24.719
When you think about an experience you had, usually the experiences we remember are marked by some kind of extreme emotional uh intensity or a feeling.
00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:27.120
If you just think back to your day, right?
00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:31.840
And if I say, hey, tell me what you ate last week for lunch, you'd be like, freak do I know?
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:33.039
Would I ate for lunch?
00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:33.919
I don't freaking know.
00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:39.840
But if you went to this new Japanese ramen place and you love ramen, you're like, oh my god.
00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:44.240
I went to this new Japanese ramen place and it was the best ramen I've ever had.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:47.280
It's just like I had it when I was in Tokyo.
00:02:47.599 --> 00:02:50.560
And then why did you remember one over the other?
00:02:50.879 --> 00:02:54.479
It was because one, you had emotional intensity, you love ramen, right?
00:02:54.639 --> 00:03:04.960
So as a result of loving it, there was already the uh the attraction or the um the the passion for for something that was already there.
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:10.639
And the fact that it was good actually makes it stick in your memory because it created an emotional response.
00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:17.840
Now that is something that's very neutral, but let's look at something that is uh more beneficial, right?
00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:27.599
You you see someone on TV or on YouTube, I'll throw this out there because it's one of mine, um, who is traveling, they're having experiences, they're blogging, and they're doing what they love.
00:03:27.680 --> 00:03:31.280
You're like, that looks freaking amazing.
00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:40.319
So you start doing it and you start to create a story as to you see that and you create the story that you are gonna do that for coffee, right?
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:43.520
So and now you have a story as, and then you create why.
00:03:43.599 --> 00:03:46.719
Well, why am I the best version person for this?
00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:49.599
Because I coffee's been my passion.
00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:52.080
I travel around the world doing coffee, anyways.
00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:56.800
The only thing I need to do now is record it, and people would be interested in it because I am interested in it.
00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:59.759
And coffee is one of the most popular beverages on the world.
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.199
Good story, right?
00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:12.159
On the flip side, if you were to tell a bad story about that, you'd be like, Well, nobody wants to listen to what I have to say, or no one's gonna watch.
00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:18.319
And what you may be basing that on is maybe you posted a video once, right?
00:04:18.399 --> 00:04:19.920
And you and you didn't get any views.
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.319
You looked, you looked at your Instagram, you're like, What the hell, man?
00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:23.040
No views?
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.879
It was one, and like and it was a comment from your your brother or your mother.
00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:33.120
So you can create the notice how the the story was created in in both places.
00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:38.240
The story was created, you gave meaning to what that story meant.
00:04:38.560 --> 00:04:41.600
And um, so how does it impact you, right?
00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:44.240
I mean, I just I gave you this this example.
00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:54.879
Like one of the impacts is it's not gonna move you forward, it's gonna make you feel retract, play small, where the other one is gonna say, you know, it's gonna push you forward.
00:04:54.959 --> 00:05:06.240
And even if there are some failures along the way, you are gonna keep going because you know exactly what it is you want, and you've already created an empowering story as to why you should be the one to do it.
00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:11.199
And so that is the same thing that happens in every single area of our life.
00:05:11.279 --> 00:05:25.120
You have, there's no doubt in my mind, you have areas of your life where you are thriving, and it's because you have a good story, and there's areas of your life where you're not doing as well as you would have liked, and there's a story at play there.
00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:31.040
So, how do you identify the story that's going on?
00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:32.879
Well, it's quite easy.
00:05:32.959 --> 00:05:49.360
So, the when you think about a story that's the story in your life, one of the things you have to think about is just like when you are moving towards a direction or when you express interest in a particular outcome or objective for your life, what immediately follows it?
00:05:49.920 --> 00:05:50.240
Right?
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:59.360
Like, what is the the you know, you may be like, oh, I like as I just mentioned, I want to create a YouTube channel for coffee people uh with my travels around the world, right?
00:05:59.439 --> 00:06:04.560
And then there's this like pullback, and then what's the story you're telling yourself?
00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:08.319
Is it like no one will watch me, I'm not good at social media?
00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:17.279
Once you see the story, once you recognize the story, then it's up to you.
00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:19.680
You have the you've identified it, right?
00:06:19.759 --> 00:06:23.439
And then you could see if you want to go further, you can think, well, why did I develop this belief?
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:31.439
And normally it's gonna be tied to some kind of emotional, uh, emotional um, what's the word I'm looking for?
00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:37.199
Memory or lack of better words, emotion some kind of tr trigger in it from your past, right?
00:06:37.279 --> 00:06:38.879
That you gave meaning to.
00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:42.240
But realize that you are the person that's given them meaning.
00:06:42.319 --> 00:06:44.959
And as a result of that meaning, you get to choose what you want, right?
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:51.519
You could be like, oh, nobody watched it, no one cares, I suck at this, or you can be like, no one watched it, I'm learning.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:56.399
And as I get better, I'm gonna create better content, and more people are gonna be interested in what I have to say.
00:06:56.639 --> 00:07:00.079
Realizing that it's one is a growth, one is a fixed mindset.
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.399
And uh the the truth, right?
00:07:04.639 --> 00:07:09.199
And I I just kind of gave the answer there when I when I explained that one is what is the truth?
00:07:09.439 --> 00:07:09.759
Right?
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:20.000
Like you'll you'll know, like it easily, you can easily identify the the the falsehood in the narrative that like no one wants to watch you because you didn't get a view.
00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:27.279
But everyone knows, like, I mean, there's so much stuff coming at you today, this day and age, where I mean it's coming at a million miles an hour.
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:32.319
People don't even stick to something unless they've seen it 16 times, right?
00:07:32.399 --> 00:07:38.480
That's why one of the messages they flash, flash, flash, and then like the 16th time, you're like, oh, that looks interesting.
00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:40.240
Maybe I should pay attention to it.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:44.639
But it isn't only until you have that repetition, right?
00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:46.319
So that is the truth.
00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:50.240
And then you create something empowering, something that is going to move you forward.
00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:56.079
And then the last thing is just simply to take action to solidify the new belief.
00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:58.720
So I'm gonna give you an example from my own life.
00:07:58.879 --> 00:08:08.079
One of the things that um that I had struggled with for a long time, and it was the uh identity around living home at my parents' house.
00:08:08.399 --> 00:08:17.839
So I would, when people will talk, they would ask me about relationships, and I'd like, oh, well, I didn't find the right one, or I would give some kind of generic answer.
00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:21.839
But on the inside, I felt something very different.
00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:26.319
On the inside, I felt that I wasn't worthy of a relationship because I had moved back home.
00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:33.919
I felt that I would be judged because I had been judged, and sometimes by friends who would make comments.
00:08:34.159 --> 00:08:38.639
And would in my mind, you know, like I would feel it, and in my mind, I'm like, I hate you.
00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.440
You know, you know, and it created, it created a separation in that friendship.
00:08:43.519 --> 00:08:48.159
There are some of those friendships where like I just don't feel connected because I feel like I was being judged.
00:08:48.639 --> 00:08:57.759
Nevertheless, I should have said something and stated more of a boundary there, and that's but that's a that's another thing I'm I'm growing on, is just setting boundaries and speaking more of my truth.
00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:02.879
So going back to that, so that was a story that I was telling myself, right?
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:12.480
And it then the truth is it's not that I didn't live on my own or I didn't own my own home at one point, and I didn't move away to like you know, Italy for a few months.
00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:25.679
I didn't go to my there's you know, what I'm trying to tell you is that I was focused on creating a disempowering meaning for myself, not looking at all the other things that could prove counter.
00:09:27.039 --> 00:09:32.399
And what my intention behind going back home was wanted to save money, right?
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.960
I wanted, I want to eventually want to get my own place.
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:36.960
Two, I wanted to travel, right?
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:43.519
Not having the house and letting my uh at the time I was living with my brother, and then later his wife now moved in.
00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:44.799
So I let them take the house.
00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:46.320
I'm like, listen, take it.
00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.080
I want the freedom to go travel and live somewhere else.
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:51.200
Go ahead.
00:09:51.519 --> 00:09:59.919
So it it wasn't that I you know, I there was a there was a reason behind it, but I wasn't telling myself that reason.
00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:02.080
And as a result, I would feel bad.
00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:11.600
It would, I would count myself out before I even gave myself a chance in some in some relationships, probably, or even if it wasn't a relationship, just how I showed up.
00:10:12.080 --> 00:10:12.399
Right?
00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:16.480
And and the reason I tell you this is because this is kind of part of my own journey, right?
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:29.519
By me sharing this, something that was so difficult for me, you could realize and see yourself in my story, and the thing that maybe you felt guilty about or you felt shame on, you could transform it into something beautiful.
00:10:29.919 --> 00:10:40.879
So looking at that, I mean, the story was that no one would want me because I was living home, or the that um that no one would take me serious or that I was a failure.
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:41.519
Right?
00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:44.399
But but again, now let's look to the new story.
00:10:44.480 --> 00:10:46.159
What is what is the truth?
00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:46.799
Right?
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:48.159
What is the truth of that?
00:10:48.320 --> 00:10:49.519
Like I wrote it down here.
00:10:49.600 --> 00:11:00.799
I said, I've been smart and strategic by saving my money while I was living home, setting myself for a strong, independent future while also allowing me to have life experiences focused on the launch of my business.
00:11:01.039 --> 00:11:06.399
The right people will see my ambition and my value in and the value in my journey.
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:10.480
How do you weigh those two now?
00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:11.279
Right?
00:11:11.440 --> 00:11:18.559
One is was heavy, the other one is very light, and and it focuses on the truth because the close friends of mine, there is no judgment, right?
00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:23.039
The people that are in my inner circle, there's no judgment there.
00:11:23.279 --> 00:11:36.879
And all the things that I just stated were my intention because I wanted to go experience, like I wanted to not have the weight of having to have something like uh an apartment there because I wanted to be uh I wanted to be on the world.
00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:40.639
And be honest with you, I wanted to live somewhere out in the world as well.
00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:46.639
And now my business is, you know, my my desires are are shifting at the moment.
00:11:46.720 --> 00:11:51.519
They and I'm putting more time and attention into my business, but I'm still living, right?
00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:56.639
I'm still going out there, I'm still traveling around the world because I that's something that I really value.
00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:59.759
And so this is the real story.
00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:07.919
And you can see from just the way it was stated how it would make you feel, and just how you know how I feel.
00:12:08.159 --> 00:12:20.639
If you probably rewind this video, or if you're listening it to it on uh on podcasts, you'll probably, you know, you'll probably hear differences in the cadence and tonality of my voice as I'm explaining this.
00:12:21.360 --> 00:12:21.679
Right?
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:29.200
So the the point I want you to make or to take is that you are in control of the story you tell yourself.
00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:33.840
And your the story you're telling yourself is either gonna pull you back or push you forward.
00:12:34.879 --> 00:12:45.919
But you are the one that gets to decide and give the meaning to the uh to the experiences and the yeah, the the experiences of your life.
00:12:46.480 --> 00:12:54.960
And the last thing just to solidify it, is just to take action, do something that is in accordance with that story.
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:57.440
One of the reasons we want to hear more of now, right?
00:12:57.519 --> 00:13:02.080
Me sharing this story with you solidifies what I had just said.
00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:06.879
Because no longer am I harboring it and trying to like protect myself.
00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:12.080
Now I'm just saying, no, this is what it is, this is the truth, this is who I am, like it or not.
00:13:12.320 --> 00:13:14.639
If you don't, see you later.
00:13:14.879 --> 00:13:16.000
So, what is it for you?
00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:18.879
What are the steps that you are being called to take?
00:13:18.960 --> 00:13:22.240
What are the stories that are no longer serving you in your life?
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:33.279
And you don't have to, I mean, if you can make a mental note of this, just set the intention, say, let me be aware of the stories that are guiding my life that are no longer serving me.
00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:34.720
And then just let it go.
00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:40.639
Like think, say those words to yourself, take a deep breath in, say thank you, and then let it go.
00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:42.080
Go about your day.
00:13:42.480 --> 00:13:46.159
You'll be surprised as you go about your day, and things are popping up.
00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:48.480
You're those stories are gonna make themselves known.
00:13:48.799 --> 00:14:00.639
And your only job is just to capture them, capture them on a piece of paper, and then at the very end of the night, look at those stories, capture how they make you feel, and then create more empowering story taking the action.
00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:11.360
Maybe the action is not something you take in like that evening, but maybe next time someone says something to you, you respond with this new story, with the new belief system that you created.
00:14:11.840 --> 00:14:16.559
Do that enough and you will create a new reality for yourself.
00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:27.039
Because anything you want or don't want, I mean, I'm looking at I have this uh uh it's a coaster, and but I hung it on my wall and goes, change your story and you will change your life.
00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:28.240
Do it enough.
00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:31.759
Make it part of who you are and you will change your life.
00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:33.840
So I hope this, I hope this serves you.
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:38.879
My intention, again, my intention here was just to make you aware of the stories that are controlling your life.
00:14:38.960 --> 00:14:47.120
So this way you can break free from those and live a life that's more intentional and more aligned with who you are, your core, your passion, your desires.
00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.879
Because life is short and we want to make the most of every single day.
00:14:50.960 --> 00:14:52.879
But in order to do that, we got to do the work.
00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:55.039
So again, I hope you enjoy this podcast.
00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:58.480
If you did, please share it with someone whom you feel would benefit from it.
00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:00.159
Uh, hit that subscribe button.
00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:03.279
And if you'd like, leave a comment on Spotify or Apple.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:11.679
And uh as always, if you have any questions, you can send them to me via my website at donnierouse.com, D-O-N-N-Y-R-A-U-S.com.
00:15:12.080 --> 00:15:13.360
Thank you so much for tuning in.
00:15:13.440 --> 00:15:15.759
And remember, you only get one life.
00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:23.519
Live fully, live passionately, and most of all, drink rouse coffee and I threw another one in there, and live now.
00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:26.879
God bless you guys, and I will see you again soon.
