00:00:02
Speaker 1: Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends. You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and we've got books and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip. I'm sure it's memoir.
00:00:14
Speaker 2: It's Martini. Celebrity poof Club. To read it while it's hot.
00:00:21
Speaker 1: Celebrity poof Club, Tell your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books. No, boys are a loud celet book say it Loud and cloud Celevety Book Club.
00:00:35
Speaker 2: Buzz me in. I brought the queer vow. Hey, best friend, what's up?
00:00:40
Speaker 1: I am so good my queen from my queendom sister wife.
00:00:46
Speaker 2: I am feeling so blessed.
00:00:48
Speaker 1: Today and so freaking blessed, and.
00:00:50
Speaker 2: I'm blessed to be here in the studio with you.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: It's so crazy to just like get back in New York. You guys, it's fall, as we keep.
00:00:57
Speaker 2: Saying, keep on saying. Now They're like, yeah, it's actually winter.
00:01:01
Speaker 1: I feel like it's been like our first episode back like three episodes.
00:01:05
Speaker 2: But I'm like, no, but we're literally back back in New York. New York is jerusay is a live It's.
00:01:11
Speaker 1: So I'm rushing around the city. I've never felt more me. I'm stomping to Holy hell, it's crazy.
00:01:17
Speaker 2: I've never had so many iced coffees, like putting on cowboy boots, black shirts, black tubed tops, receiving emails and not receiving emails. Events.
00:01:27
Speaker 1: It's about events. It's about green tea, black tea.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: And you know what it is. It's like, I just I watched that Sex and the City where Charlotte almost becomes a lesbian and starts hanging out the powers Yeah, and the carry line. I've just never felt so saint New Yorkers go to the opening of an envelope and I'm just like, yes, yes.
00:01:50
Speaker 1: She's like lesbians. They all have Killer I wear.
00:01:53
Speaker 2: Killer Ie wear, invisible makeup and just like designer footwear.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Right, it's like as if Carrie is not wearing done It where that's your whole thing.
00:02:01
Speaker 2: It's a little more there being like Gucci sleds and Prota loafers. They're being more girls, all girls of.
00:02:07
Speaker 1: Today who are wearing like heavy loafers, heavy loafers. I wouldn't say the girls of today that are all doing Killer I Wear. Also, the no one's doing Killer I Wear I'm looking at you. Wow, Well I.
00:02:21
Speaker 2: Want to go glasses shopping, and I'm manifesting new glasses. I'm wearing my like medicaid.
00:02:26
Speaker 1: Problems with I wear. It's either so functional or it's trying too hard. It's just like there's no good.
00:02:31
Speaker 2: So you hate my glasses.
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I don't hate your glasses, but it's like unless you actually are like so old school and aviators, it's just like you're just gonna.
00:02:39
Speaker 2: Look like a big lesbian, like you're just.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: Going to Moscow and like trying to be aviators. Not you just anyone.
00:02:46
Speaker 2: Oh totally, that's true saying I didn't know. I mean, I think, and I've been on the search for like the subtle pair of aviator glasses. But you put it on, You're just like here, I am, like, get it. I'm being retro.
00:02:56
Speaker 1: It's tough. I wear super tough.
00:02:58
Speaker 2: I bought Croaky Is to look like a surf instructor over the summer.
00:03:02
Speaker 1: Okay, like bag me on. Like it's also just so like mom Volvo nineties.
00:03:07
Speaker 2: I got really inspired by on the ferry to Nantucket when I came to visit you, Like all the guys were in such like funk f croquies that were like braided with their Cisco Brewery facated crokies. Yeah.
00:03:19
Speaker 1: Also when just like I was getting on the plane Intucket this weekend to come back to New York. Yeah, and I overheard this woman going, she's on the phone or something. She's like, so Mount Auburn Cemetery quoted us anywhere from five thousand to twenty five thousand, and I'm trumps. And of course my mother doesn't even want to have the conversation because she's worried that they're going to die first. And I said, what if me and Ken get into a car I put in tomorrow? And I don't want to have my kids have to worry about putting together arrangements literally me. So she's trying to reserve a whole family plot. She's doing plot at Mount Auburn, I mean, which is she said, quite expensive.
00:03:57
Speaker 2: But expensive which where my father is intermed? Is that the word no? But interned?
00:04:03
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:04:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, he's an intern there. You guys, fall it's a good time to estate plan someone who probably has done a little bit of a state planning but probably didn't with her ex.
00:04:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would have been a really tough conversation which sounds like most of the conversations are tough.
00:04:23
Speaker 2: You guys, you know her from the seventh season of One Tree Hill Season seventh.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: You also may not know her from Friday Night Lights. You may also not know her from.
00:04:35
Speaker 2: Her album thirty one, but you may country music album you are a country fan. You may know her from her song I Got the.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Boy like She Got the Man, which is a good song. Of course, we're talking about another Chriss singer, Christian.
00:04:53
Speaker 2: Mama Jana Kramer, and her book the Next Chapter making Peace for Hard Memories, finding hope all around Me, and clearing space for come. So, you guys, let's get so real for a second.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: The cover. If you can imagine what she looks like, she's like small, She's a really small spaniel waves coming down. She looks big, smile and cavalery, gold jewelry.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: She kind of cavaleried before Cavalery, like she is Nashville Mama.
00:05:27
Speaker 1: But she's way less personality than Cavalier because she's not even Moscow Mule. She's not even like all my copper mugs.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: No, I mean she walked so Cavalier could absolutely run like I'm saying, like she is in Cavalery camp of being married to a toxic retired football player at your massive Nashville house where both of you just walk around islands and fight with each other and have kids name like with Jays, her kids names and j and Jase spell j a y Ce No, why, oh it's just right Jace, not even that boy band, It's just jaccause Cavalari's kids are Sailor Taylor James.
00:06:10
Speaker 1: James was a girl, right of course. And I forgot the other one.
00:06:13
Speaker 2: There is like a Jason with a y.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: I think Jace in Jane's case.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: Is a boy. Yeah, and Jeli.
00:06:23
Speaker 1: And now she has a new kid that's name is like London or something with her allan fourth husband, fourth husband that she's basically this book is about how she got divorced from her third husband, who was her longest marriage, who she had previously written a New York Times best selling book which is called.
00:06:38
Speaker 2: The Good Fight. And it's so crazy.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: Because fighting with your husband.
00:06:42
Speaker 2: It's literally about fighting with your husband and again New York Times best selling author, and they got a two book deal when they signed the deal for the Good Fight, so they were supposed to write a second book about like fighting, more fighting, but then they got divorced, and so she wrote the next chapter, and The Good Fight is all about how his sex addiction and infidelity.
00:07:03
Speaker 1: Caused a lot of problems in their marriage, but they worked through by fighting in a good way, and then obviously got divorced.
00:07:08
Speaker 2: It's so classic if anyone pretends to be like a fucking expert on like parenting.
00:07:14
Speaker 1: Or like marriage, I mean those who can't do teach.
00:07:17
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, the curtain falls down and she's like, we were fighting so much on our book tour, about our book about fighting songs.
00:07:27
Speaker 1: Really mad. I sounds like you had nothing else to talk about because they have nothing in common. I do have to wonder what it takes to be a New York Times bestselling author, because you know, nobody reads these days, and like, if you're selling twenty books, are you getting on that list?
00:07:40
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure a ton of other random Like.
00:07:45
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe I still has maybe moved top, like two thousand copies of that book and that got her on the list.
00:07:52
Speaker 2: Two thousand copies of The Good Fight. I think it came out though, like maybe like on the Heat of the Boy, her amazing single.
00:08:00
Speaker 1: I have no idea. The timeline of where her career this is twenty twenty two, so anyway, anyway, this book is a journey of divorce.
00:08:08
Speaker 2: And finding yourself and loving yourself and getting your gall bladder removed and quoting the Bible, and like having like friends in Nashville named like Caitlin Pamelin Casin.
00:08:20
Speaker 1: As she calls her queendom, and the whole book is basically just like her being in different rooms of her huge house. The very first sentence of the book is, I was in the downstairs master closet with my two children, Jolie and Jace. Then she's always like going to the foyer, going to the upstairs guest bedroom, like sitting in the kitchen while Pamelin is in the foyer.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, Caitlin was actually in my seventh guest bedroom as a me And oh, also the best part of this was not the best, but there's so many good parts of those book. She refers to her ex Mike as my ex capitalized.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: And so throughout the entire book she never says his name, even of like we all know it all, I mean, honestly, we all don't You do google it you can find out that he was like a Jacksonville Jaguar, which, to quote Kathy Griffin to this day, I don't know if that's a college or a pro team. I assume it must be pro, right, because how are they paying for this?
00:09:16
Speaker 2: It is, Yeah, it is pro okay, but it's again and.
00:09:19
Speaker 1: Miss J Cutler way, it's very like never went to the Super Bowl.
00:09:21
Speaker 2: Like it's very a football player that it's like made some money nedd J.
00:09:25
Speaker 1: Cutler too, Oh, I'm sure she did, which is just so big.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: And it's like like one of these football players that's like, yeah, he was pro and played, but like never went to a Super Bowl, was never like a star on his team. It was just kind of like a player and is now roaming his large house and buying stuff. Yeah, and it's so also just like big property Brothers home where so many boxes are being delivered every single day and she's like, our huge fight came when a box got delivered. It was a five hundred dollars watch.
00:09:58
Speaker 1: Oh that he bought. He bought, and she had said, let's make a budget and we were like down to budgeting because you know, work wasn't so steady. It was like in between one tree Hill seasons, and she was never actually like fully recurring right.
00:10:10
Speaker 2: And again like she's always been like I was on tour for my music, but it was a one night show in a romania. She or she'll be like, oh, we had in a huge fight, but I had to catch a flight to film Necropolis Seven Scares of the Titans.
00:10:25
Speaker 1: There's just's like tarror reid ass movie career. So she says, we need to like rein in our spending, and then he goes and buys a five hundred dollars watch just frankly, kind of cheap for a watch.
00:10:37
Speaker 2: It's really mid because you're like, okay, it's not one hundred dollars watch where you're like, this is a budget watch, but it's not like a Rollux or a Brightling that's like five to twenty thousand.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: So he's pissed that she's like controlling him, and she's like, we had a great on the budget, and I'm a little like, who's right here? I guess I'm like, on the one hand, they did agree, I kind.
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Of think she's in the right because they because.
00:11:00
Speaker 1: They had the conversation. His reaction, he was just like what the fuck, Like are you man, it's like that was the problem exactly, like if you had said, you know what, You're right. We did have a conversation about this, and I'm sorry.
00:11:12
Speaker 2: But I really wanted this watch. I wanted this feels better and I feel sad as a retired Jacksonville.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: Lated. Yes, like tell your ANTM SOB storye just like my dad beat me, and like this right, and like I always wanted to go to Switzerland, like I never had that opportunity, and like this helps me feel more culture because I'm so insecure.
00:11:34
Speaker 2: In the locker, never communicate, which is funny because they wrote a book called The Good Fight.
00:11:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I feel like this is that thing though, where it's like, when you have nothing in common, all you can do is talk about your relationship.
00:11:45
Speaker 2: Yes, she comes to honestly a good realization at the end where she does say there is a certain amount of therapy that becomes counterproductive, and yet she is addicted, addicted to her therapist, thanks the therapist.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: That the end is like therapy, thank you speed dial.
00:12:02
Speaker 2: And it's like I love you.
00:12:04
Speaker 1: She's constantly calling the therapists from my closet from a closet on vacation, like with her new boyfriend that she's seen worryings, patterns of lying, and and I'm like, this is not what therapy is supposed to be. Therapists you go, when you talk, and you leave.
00:12:18
Speaker 2: It's like, to my therapist, Amy Alexander, I will never be able to thank you enough for the many hours you've spent with me over the last four years, and for the not in office hours when I called you from a closet. Thank you for loving me however I showed up in your room, and for not giving up on me. You gave me the eyes to see and strength to leave, but most important, thank you for leading me back to myself.
00:12:37
Speaker 1: It's like, I just don't think that that's how therapy should work.
00:12:40
Speaker 2: I think it works. I've had a therapist give me their number, being like okay for this like hard time you're about to go through, like you can have my number, which I do think makes sense.
00:12:50
Speaker 1: But it's like I remember one time my analyst he was like going on vacation. He was like, and here's a number you can reach me at. And I'm like, that's never been our thing. I'm never calling you, being like he needs to talk her therapy is actually so childish. This is crazy. Once we were doing an exercise with these therapeutic cards with pictures and emotion related words, and she asked, in your marriage right now, how do you feel? The words sad, lonely, and numb were just a few of the cards I grabbed from the pile. Then she told me to pick cards that represented where I wanted to be. The words free, safe, and happy filled the cute art deco run that line the floors. She's literally picking up a flash card that says the words sad off of a home depot quote art deco rug in the therapist office, I'm like, are you four? Are you literally four?
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Okay? Though one day we were asked to pick up a beanie baby to represent in our child.
00:13:47
Speaker 1: Is that the cult?
00:13:48
Speaker 2: Yes? When she goes to something called on site therapy, that's very cold and very like you're ziplining a.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: Little bit.
00:13:58
Speaker 2: Hoffmann Institute, but so iconic and like twisted about this therapy center too, is she had gone to it before with her ex husband and he met someone there that he had an affair with for months yea, And yet she returned and was like, no, I actually think this is a healthy space for me.
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean obviously there's she is a little bit addicted.
00:14:21
Speaker 2: She's addicted to therapy, and she's addicted to the good fight.
00:14:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, honey, it's not a good fight. No.
00:14:27
Speaker 2: I think they're going back though about men and women in the Battle of the Sexes, and Harry met Sally like she says, the only time they were happy is like when they were playing games and just being like straight and.
00:14:36
Speaker 1: Playing playing poker, yes, playing risk on their poker table, but also playing poker and also playing banana grams. And I would beat his but at bananagrams. Yes, I beat his butt.
00:14:48
Speaker 2: And it's like, yeah, they probably didn't have anything to talk about, so it's like all you do have is to be like, don't go to the gym. Did you look at that girl?
00:14:56
Speaker 1: Well, now I'm thinking of this subway takes. I saw that their day. The instagram account saida takes that we've both been on, and this comedian was just like straight people need to learn from gay relationships because if you look at lesbian and gay male relationships, it's like the extreme of like what that gender prefers, Like lesbians are really into listening to each other. Gay guys are really into letting the other gay guys sleep with other people, right, like what men want. So it's like what straight couples need to do is the woman needs to let the man be more of a gay guy and sleep with other people, and the man needs more of less mean listen to the woman.
00:15:37
Speaker 2: Period and.
00:15:39
Speaker 1: Period. That great people do need to listen to gay couples.
00:15:43
Speaker 2: They do.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: Like she kind of admits that the book, She's like, I know that in some ways, me being like so watching him like a hawk and like making so many rules about how he's not allowed to like use his email was making him want to cheat more.
00:15:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, she kind of figures that out, and then she says a lot of times when she dates this guy quote unquote Seth that she like meets at a children's birthday party and it's like you're in Nashville. It's such a music video where she's being like, I saw a strong man in a backwards white mesh drive it Nike.
00:16:17
Speaker 1: Hat muscles.
00:16:19
Speaker 2: Under yeah, and I saw him at a bouncy house with kids, And it's all country songs that are about like how the hottest thing is to like see a man being a father or like she drinks whiskey, but you should see her hold a baby. Yeah, and she dances and shoots Crown Royal at night and Sunday morning she's praying.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: And then he comes up to her and he's like, how do you feel about Bounce Castle?
00:16:49
Speaker 2: And she's like, get away from me.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: You're crazy, and then they go into the Bounce House together that's been rented for this just like children.
00:16:59
Speaker 2: Jessica Simson and like massive bar Literally.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: The episode of One Tree Hill that I watched last night was about a children's birthday party at a huge, like suburban house. That show, by the way, so bad. I'm sorry.
00:17:11
Speaker 2: Oh no, it felt like I was watching Days of Our Lives.
00:17:14
Speaker 1: It's that level where it's just like the acting's crazy.
00:17:18
Speaker 2: There's thirty storylines. The episode I saw her acting was so funny. So her character is a totally ego maniac sex nymph named Alex Dupree.
00:17:29
Speaker 1: She's barely acting. She tries to commit suicide and she keeps just showing her wrists that have these like really bad makeup, like suicide like cuts on them. Every interior of that show is just like another house.
00:17:41
Speaker 2: It's only like she sees the bars the most set where it's like neon lights, like big tabletop and she's just got back from rehab and so she's like at the bar and they're like, no tequila shots for you. So she makes out with a guy. She's like, I missed tequila, just something. I love tequila. No, but then it's like that, and then it shoots to a guy who's saving like a gerbil, and then it's like a guy getting sued because he slept with like a girl, and then it's a guy who is a murderer.
00:18:15
Speaker 1: It is so deserlized because it's like there are thirty storylines, but they're all moving at a snails pace and like nothing's happening and everyone's so Christian, and you like think there's sexual tension and there's like not even But I watched.
00:18:26
Speaker 2: The front of the pod. Daniel told me to watch the pilot last year. He was like, the first season of Wintree Hills really good, and I did, and I will say the first season is good.
00:18:38
Speaker 1: By the time and it's being more oc but it Jana gets into it still feels like it's ocy for toddlers.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: It's more like lobotomy os, like you're on like so many amphetamines but also like killing yourself and yeah, it's just classic, like let's rent it in and it's very Nico Tourtello where he's being so like, yeah, a crew of us were all like fucking on the seventh season, and you're kind of like, I'm not seeing that intensity and passion on the show. But I gues. Speaking of cuts, there's a moment where she reveals that she casually grabs the gun. Yeah, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, and that's when she realizes she needs to go back to the on site therapy center where her ex cheated on her Baline.
00:19:24
Speaker 1: I sat down on my bed. She's always just like crying, going into a closet, collapsing the floor, while Pamelin or one of her other queendoms is like in the next door on a bench waiting and the husband's coming but he's not but she's telling him no, but like they're slitting up the kids and like signing papers. Balie, I sat down my own bed. They grabbed my gun case out of my nack table. Joy opened it and stared down at that gun in my hands and cry the loudest I ever have I wanted the noise to stop. I wanted my brain to stop. I wanted the messages to stop. I just wanted it all to stop, the noises and barely loud voices from the media. She's also referencing like social media coming for all the time, and she was like, as you know, like everyone knew the details of my divorce, and it's.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: Like did we did we? And then I like googled today her and seth this guy that she fell into all the old patterns with, like too soon after her and quote unquote my ex broke up and he very much told us weekly because he couldn't stand the silence anymore. And it makes so much sense. He was basically just like, she's such a crazy hoe and has attachment love style and wouldn't let me go anywhere or hang out with anything else.
00:20:27
Speaker 1: It's funny though, that at the one point she's mad at the ex. I quote my ex for buying some golf clubs and guns, she says, But she's like, I grabbed my gun case.
00:20:37
Speaker 2: She's still just like, no, yes, yes, we have guns, Yes.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: We have guns, and all women have got.
00:20:42
Speaker 2: How was it fart? She's like, well, so my ex came back to grab his whiskey, bottles, golf clubs, and guns. And again it's like such a lyric of just being like you left that bottle of whiskey, but it's more about purchasing new guns. It's kind of a given, like, of course we have guns, Country Star, of course I have guns club. Okay, let's bring it back for a second. Her childhood, it's very it ends with us where her dad was like slightly abusive to the mom and would like throw pasta at the mom.
00:21:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, like getting in such a food fight.
00:21:29
Speaker 2: And she's like, is like the spaghetti sauce stains are still on mama's curtains.
00:21:34
Speaker 1: And then you know, so she's like caught in this pattern in the cycle of you is. And of course so her first husband is actually like so terrifying and literally tries to kill Scary and is charged with attempted.
00:21:47
Speaker 2: Murder literally attempted murder.
00:21:49
Speaker 1: Goes to jail for like four years, it gets out, then commits suicide, which she doesn't mention the book.
00:21:55
Speaker 2: But so it's kind of like no wonder hashtag is a good fight?
00:21:59
Speaker 1: Oh no, I get it. And it's like the husband, like my ex does sound like an asshole.
00:22:05
Speaker 2: But he's not abusive. He just like is not a real cheater, and he's more verbally abusive. Yeah, she's crying and he'll be like, boohoo, what are you crying again?
00:22:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's like, I was in the downstairs, upstairs laundry room crying.
00:22:21
Speaker 2: Oh wait. She's also always like referencing really subtily like her breast implants, but keeps in calling it her breast augmentation.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: I just I had the favorite. A few months after Vancouver, I was recovering from a breast augmentation at home in Nashville. I was I had a lot of physical limitations. I couldn't lift anything in my bedroom. My laundry basket was filling up. Oh wait, this is when she's like crying in the laundry room. I left the laundroom to go to the bedroom again. It's just it's always just the different all she is just moving between rooms in her house. But I love how casually I was recovering from a.
00:22:56
Speaker 2: Not the one, just one.
00:22:58
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like it's a haircut.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: And then she's like, I need my surgery bra. She was like, and I had such trouble asking for help, which is such a therapy thing of people being like, here's the thing. I'm actually so independent and I'm so stubborn, so I never asked for help. And she asked him to wash a bra for her, and he puts it in the wash, but then he doesn't dry.
00:23:19
Speaker 1: You know, she's always been such a self starter and fought for herself, as you know. And I may quote when they're having financial conversations around their divorce. I was told not to communicate with my expect logistics. But how couldn't I say anything? This was my life, this was my money, money that I had fought to earn for years. I was the girl who stole toilet paper from the wood Ranch, b bugau and grill and ate frozen to quitos for a grueling year while I tried to make it in La.
00:23:45
Speaker 2: It's so La girl. It reminds me of our dear friend Maddie host of Nosecandy, La Resident and staying there when we did our La show and looking in her freezer box of frozen teqita.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: And she's also stealing deep from the wood Ranch, BBQ and grillque. The fact that she says BBQ and grill, it's just so just like a Simpson where she's like, I'm adding color and texture. It's my interesting book.
00:24:13
Speaker 2: And also, if I may this part about money, he's buying this five hundred dollars watch, but she felt she never deserved the money and to spend it. And one day she sees it beautiful with the ring four one hundred dollars bird ring.
00:24:28
Speaker 1: With a bird like leaving a cage, and she's with Sophia Bush her coaster of One Tree Hill.
00:24:33
Speaker 2: Now lesbian with Ashland Harris.
00:24:35
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I wonder if Sophia thought Janet was hot.
00:24:39
Speaker 2: No, because Sofia I feel like wants a foot I don't think she wants this tiny Nashville. I don't see the sexual attention.
00:24:47
Speaker 1: So she's like, oh, I don't know if I can afford this three hundred dollars ring, and Sofia, Butu's just like, no, babe, you're a serious regular on season eight of One Tree Hill. You can afford this three hundred dollars bird ring. So she buys it, and then she's like, and then every time I look at it, I see the bird leaving the cage, and I think, yes, I am a bird leaving a cage.
00:25:05
Speaker 2: And then she's like, to quote one of my favorite authors, Maya andrew Ullo. She's always going from a Maya Angelou quote to it just an online quote about divorce that's like anonymous, to then like Ephasian's thirty eight two.
00:25:22
Speaker 1: At a certain point, the God references just start, like she just starts slipping him in how do you find beauty in the worst of times? Jesus was rejected more than any of us. He knows what it's like to feel betrayed by the ones you love, which is why quote the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalms thirty four eighteen. What'd she say, Oh, period, Psalms thirty four eighteen, of course.
00:25:44
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, so getting back into exercise was really hard for me, but now I can just run to worship music and it feels really good.
00:25:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. When she's running and she's just like singing along.
00:25:56
Speaker 2: To God, she's so crazy and small see list Hollywood star that she's like, I wasn't really exercising that much. I was just doing my classic to a day workout with my trainer. Yeah, but then I needed to get serious and you guys. Once I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in between workouts.
00:26:14
Speaker 1: I know, give me, I'm pregnant. Sorry, I was pregnant. I know. I'm discussing and gaining thirty five pounds and my first husband told me I was fat and then tried to murder me. But then I ran a half marathon and I finally got thin again, and like, also, half a book is just her being like, so yes, mama, Like I did start running a lot and I got thin and I looked at it.
00:26:33
Speaker 2: Yes, I look good, okay, And it was hot girl summer, not because I was being a slut, but because I was listening.
00:26:38
Speaker 1: To God and I was taking a lot of selfies. But I was also finding myself Phasian's thirty six Okay, back to money though.
00:26:47
Speaker 2: But also best line ever in the book when she goes I created my first ever Excel spreadsheet, that's what.
00:26:54
Speaker 1: Okay, after left night, I created my first ever Excel spreadsheet. We all remember that moment.
00:27:00
Speaker 2: Wait, when was yours my first Excel?
00:27:02
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's probably Honestly, I'm not gonna lie, it may have been post college, because I don't know when I would have used Excel in college, and I think it probably was when I was working in fundraising.
00:27:15
Speaker 2: Wow, when was my first Oh, probably when I was doing casting right out of college.
00:27:21
Speaker 1: Right, it's not until job life that we start using Excel.
00:27:24
Speaker 2: And I remember being like, ooh, I wish I like learn more about this in college because I'm being slow about it. Okay, So after her abusive husband, though, she gets her gallbladder removed.
00:27:34
Speaker 1: Oh, when she's shooting in Romania Necropolis seven, and this is early, she's like nineteen, and so she goes to this hospital like Bucharest and they're just like, oh, you're appendix's about to burst and the like remove her appendix and she's like, I'm still in so much main I feel like I'm dying. And she's in this fully haunted hospital and then her mom comes and is like, hmm, we're flying you to La like.
00:27:53
Speaker 2: And like keeping your feet elevated.
00:27:55
Speaker 1: And then they're like, it's actually your gallbladder. They get it removed. They're like, if you had gone one more day, your spleen would have and it's a little bit like, yeah, babe, listen, no offense to the Romanians, but it's just like if you have a mysterious pain, Like, don't just like sit there for a week being like I'm still in pain. This is weird, Like what's going on?
00:28:11
Speaker 2: I feel like that's so you though, like you would just be at a hospital in Romania.
00:28:15
Speaker 1: I would maybe initially, and then I would fly and then if the pain was still like an issue, I would like be like, Okay, I'm maybe going to London or New York, right, But.
00:28:24
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, as you know, my girlfriend got her gallbletter removed after much much medical misinformation, yes, and years of them being like, oh no, you have like pancreatitis and you.
00:28:35
Speaker 1: Have sebo oh cebo.
00:28:37
Speaker 2: Cibo is like another gastro thing where like you're only supposed to like eat beets or something. Anyway, if you're having stomach problems, maybe you have gallstones.
00:28:45
Speaker 1: Maybe you have gallstones, had it out, and if you're having a serious medical emergency.
00:28:50
Speaker 2: And again, we love Romania.
00:28:52
Speaker 1: I love Romania, but go to a rich country and I don't get it moving. Wait.
00:28:57
Speaker 2: Sorry, Also, the nineteen year old husband wasn't that her second husband because she got married in Vegas.
00:29:04
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, and she was like that guy was also toxic and he disappeared for six months after they got married and then lied about his dad dying.
00:29:12
Speaker 2: And if I can just read her outfit when she gets married in Vegas, Kitty Perry style, Basically she's wearing a Vonda chat a baby tea in Abercombie cargoes when she gets married in Vegas.
00:29:23
Speaker 1: Oh, I love the Vanda chat. Yeah, she's been so Charlie XCX so this guy. So they meet at a coffee bean and Tea on Fairfax Classic.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: And he tells her that he's Eminem's DJ and she's from Michigan. As a lot of the times in the book, she refers to herself as there's two Janas.
00:29:41
Speaker 1: There's Michigan Jana and regular Jana. And when Michigan Jana is in town, like things are good. So I met him at a coffee being on Fairfax and sense he had bad boy charm that made my heart race. In fact, he could trump us about anyone. He said he was a DJ for Eminet, had the DJ cases and everything. I'm not gonna lie Detroit Hart skipped a double beat for that. It's like skipped a double beat. It's an interesting phrase. I didn't doubt for one second that he had met Eminem or that he was a DJ, but I didn't find out the truth about both of those things until a year or so later. I feel like she doesn't really follow up on that.
00:30:16
Speaker 2: No, She's just kind of like, he disappeared and then I found him and he was like, my dad died, and then he turns out he was an Eminem's DJ, But she doesn't really get down to the conversation of it all.
00:30:26
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:30:27
Speaker 2: I mean, here's the thing about quote unquote what Seth said as he was just like, why do you think Janna has been married four times? Burn?
00:30:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and she it says as much in the book where she's like, I'm just, you know, because of having bad relationships with men, I just always then want a good relationship and I'm always like, so's fix for me, he will heal me, and I'm just so desperate for love. I means, she has this line when the therapist is like, don't go to the supermarket when you're starving.
00:30:57
Speaker 2: That whole page is actually so bethany where, there's like so much any aphorisms.
00:31:01
Speaker 1: I mean, the whole book is random. And then there's this other part where the therapist says, stop going to home depot looking.
00:31:06
Speaker 2: For Brad that part I screamed.
00:31:09
Speaker 1: This book is almost kind of a psychic sister to the Jared Fogel book, where it's it is about killing, imprisoning psychological landscape of suburbia when just like you look at one Tree Hill and like the way that that whole show is just like so weird and sad and everyone's just in a weird house. Like she only is ever moving from one room of her house to another. The only way she can think of something is just like, am I driving in my like massive Chevy navigator like to pick up my kids? Or am I not driving in my massive link navigator?
00:31:39
Speaker 2: She says she likes to stay home and it's like again it's right like being around a huge island with her queendom, and she talks about how like she was like wait when I started dating, actually, like the group text was more fun than the dating, which is like so classic. But the only time she travels, and she pushes herself to do this if I may.
00:31:57
Speaker 1: Her always go to Irah to Ireland.
00:32:00
Speaker 2: And so she's going for work to Ireland and it's unclear, like are you shooting cowboy? Christmas five Are you wait?
00:32:08
Speaker 1: By the way we watched I didn't realize the half of her this book that she was the star of a Cowboy Christmas.
00:32:12
Speaker 2: She literally watched this past Christmas.
00:32:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she plays Lexi Crimshaw on. Her acting in that movie is also pretty bad and like she's kind of barely acting she honestly.
00:32:23
Speaker 2: She says in this book, I'm an okay singer and I'm an okay actor, but I'm a great mom period period.
00:32:32
Speaker 1: She's open about her skill.
00:32:36
Speaker 2: And I'm like, Jana, are you trying to make another album or you just in more Cowboy Christmas Land.
00:32:42
Speaker 1: Now I think that she can keep just shoving out a lifetime movie every year and that's fine, and.
00:32:47
Speaker 2: Doing her hit podcast on iHeartMedia.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: It's probably why this office in forty five minutes, No whine Dad.
00:32:53
Speaker 2: It's like award winning what award anyway. Her therapist is like, you should take like a day and have fun in Ireland, and she's being like, well, but I can't because like my friend Pamelin doesn't have a passport. She's like, my tour manager weren't going. It's like the idea also of just like hanging out alone in Ireland the day after is like not even an option.
00:33:15
Speaker 1: She literally can't be by herself, and again, this is why she's married four times. She's just like, there was no way that I could, as she says, trapes down a cobblestone street by myself.
00:33:25
Speaker 2: Because I went on a mission to find my partner in chasing joy. I asked Pamelin to go with me, and she said yes right away. She is the epitome of free and fun and we were going to make the very best of it, and boy did we ever. I'm gonna skip ahead here. Once Pamelin and I had boarded our air linka's flight, she pulled out a piece of paper entitled Ireland bucket list. Drink again Us, eat Shepherd's pie, Skip down a cobblestone street, see the cliffs of mahar kiss An, irishmen. We're just about half of the funny yet memorable moments we were about to check off we land in Ireland, I felt this surge of energy and excitement I've never felt before. I was happy, genuinely, really really happy. And then she's like, wait, I should like take a trip.
00:34:13
Speaker 1: Should literally go on one trip?
00:34:14
Speaker 2: Ever?
00:34:15
Speaker 1: Wait, what's on your island?
00:34:16
Speaker 2: Barcket list see the Coast.
00:34:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know we haven't done that.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: We didn't see the coast.
00:34:20
Speaker 1: We have drank a single Guinness.
00:34:22
Speaker 2: We drank Inness, for sure, but I haven't kissed an irishman.
00:34:26
Speaker 1: I don't think I have. Ow you did.
00:34:31
Speaker 2: I would like to shear a sheep. Oh yeah, like get a field for sure.
00:34:37
Speaker 1: It sounds like they're going to be so heavy and the hoods are going to be kind of like kicking you in the face. But I do want that.
00:34:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think we could do it together.
00:34:45
Speaker 1: I would also love to drive in like a rickety old beetle across the country like in the movie Leapier.
00:34:53
Speaker 2: I know, because our driving was so.
00:34:55
Speaker 1: I also like to plant a bomb in a ship in the beltast her On behalf of the IRA Absolutely.
00:35:04
Speaker 2: I think I would like to go to like a football game, oh foot match, Yeah, like a fret match, and like just like get in like such a row.
00:35:11
Speaker 1: I think that could be super fun to get in a row.
00:35:16
Speaker 2: And I mean I stepped danced in Ireland, but I would still like to really learn how to step down.
00:35:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. We were more just like jigging with a crowd.
00:35:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is so funny.
00:35:26
Speaker 1: It was really fun.
00:35:27
Speaker 2: And it's really good for your core. I looked up classes classes. There is a studio in Midtown, so that's on the list. I went to her Christianity journey for a second because she grows up Catholic, and I was surprised because I was like, we was mentioning Jesus so much because it's like southerns are more Jesus. I feel like Catholics are more about like God and guilt.
00:35:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, Catholics aren't really like quoting shit all the time.
00:35:51
Speaker 2: Know. But then of course she goes to like such a Nashville suburban cool mega church she gets rebaptized.
00:36:00
Speaker 1: Well, okay, the insane part where she's just like someone told me that, like, you need to find a way to relate to God. So I was like, I wish that God just was wearing Chuck.
00:36:08
Speaker 2: Taylors and had tattoos.
00:36:11
Speaker 1: And then I went to a New Life Baptist Mysavandelical whatever church and I couldn't believe it. The pastor had Chuck.
00:36:19
Speaker 2: Taylor, can you believe it? And you know he was the most Nashville like, scary Keith urban looking like faux hawk guy. But then the pastor. She texts him and she gets vulnerable and she's like, I'm having problems with Hi. I'm getting over my ex. And then he sends her a shirtless.
00:36:36
Speaker 1: Selfie in his personal home sauna, which is so fucked up a pastor who she trusted, and she was like, I thought i'd trust to God. If this is what God was, I didn't want any part of it. And I'm kind of like, well, can we see the selfie?
00:36:51
Speaker 2: Seriously, like can we have a photo? So she leaves that like New Life Baptist ministry, but obviously joins like another scary suburban Nashville church and get baptized. And there is a chapter here she's like, wait, you guys, let's like talk about God for a second. After she's been talking about God for this whole book, and she's like, I got baptized, and I wanted Jolye and Chase to see.
00:37:13
Speaker 1: Wait do you have the part of it where she's teasing the kids to pray And she's like every night, like, oh, they pray.
00:37:18
Speaker 2: In like a different way. And she's like and Jase will pray for his doggies and his like, and she's like, you can pray to whoever you want.
00:37:26
Speaker 1: And like Jase always says, like the end, at the end of his prayer, which is so cute, I actually.
00:37:32
Speaker 2: Did pray last night.
00:37:34
Speaker 1: I did, yeah, because I was reading this book in bed.
00:37:37
Speaker 2: Genesis fifty twenty. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
00:37:45
Speaker 1: That's actually what I went. I said that verbatim.
00:37:49
Speaker 2: I just say, like, the only time I think I really prayed is like when I've had like horrible like food poisoning or diarrhea.
00:37:55
Speaker 1: Yeah. You come in times of need.
00:37:56
Speaker 2: Yes, and I need to come in times of gratitude. Yes.
00:38:00
Speaker 1: You need to build up a little bit.
00:38:01
Speaker 2: Of a build up.
00:38:03
Speaker 1: A reserve of gratitude of God so that He lives up for you in times of needs.
00:38:08
Speaker 2: And he in his car Heart, double knee pants, new edition Oasis, Sambas and wife.
00:38:18
Speaker 1: Please her will listen to me. I want to just talk briefly about her writing style. It is maybe one of not going to say, least literate, but it's one of the.
00:38:27
Speaker 2: Profound for sure.
00:38:28
Speaker 1: Maybe it is one of the least literate. I don't know the way that she describes things almost kind of shocking. Here's the sentence. I have a tattoo of an ampersand the typographic symbol for and tattooed on my arm for a reason. I'm like, who are you explaining what the definition of ampersand is for the typographic symbol for? And I think it's for It's because she being like all my Christian mamas, like they may not know about this fancy symbol.
00:39:00
Speaker 2: I think it's for the Christian mamas. And then this begins a whole her Romanian fans. Yeah, that's true, and maybe like ampersan, that's not how we say it in Romania. The writing style is in a way I think she is trying to mix which this is what I think she's going for. Conversational journal, Christian chicken soup for the love attic soul.
00:39:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely Christian. Because she says she's been revealing, but she's always just been like the signs it's because she's not actually even been that revealing. She just says that, like she just found a message in her husband's scent box, and she's like, by the way, I always look the scent messages too.
00:39:42
Speaker 2: What's I feel like the most Justica Simpson about it, and like chicken soup for the soul is like the examples feel like you're watching dramatic re enactments on like the Oxygen Channel. Yes, like it's all just like scenes of man's grabbing a gun or like smoking a cigar and a hussy coming up to him.
00:40:03
Speaker 1: It's blurry. There's definitely, it's everything is a blurry react. It's always like the drawer opened and I pulled out the gun case, or.
00:40:12
Speaker 2: She's like my husband's after you know, she didn't trust him. She would be like he said he just wanted to go with his friends and smoke a cigar, but I didn't trust him. And I'm imagining again, like honestly, a scene from One Tree Hill that's like a redheaded woman in a bikini being like, come back to my place and him being like, oh, yeah, you're smoking and you just see like a flip phone being like I'll be home later, and her being like.
00:40:41
Speaker 1: Oh and you see like a girl in wedges with blonde hair laughing and she gets into a camaro. This is my favorite line of the book. I have loved sunsets my entire life. I am sure they are a message from God, and this one was as sure as I'm from God as I've ever seen. Sunsets are a visual reminder of a day ending period.
00:41:08
Speaker 2: Period Sunsets are a time of a day. And so I'm just seeing some of my notes here and I forgot this. Probam, She goes Maria Minuna's grab me after my divorce was final.
00:41:19
Speaker 1: No, I mean if you don't get a hug from manunas after a divorce.
00:41:23
Speaker 2: No, it's not a divorce. It's not a divorce.
00:41:25
Speaker 1: Also, so there are chapter headings in this book, and there are like quotes that being in the chapter headings multiple times. There is a quote from the film Under the Tuscan Sun as one of the chapter heads.
00:41:37
Speaker 2: That's just like Frances, you need to get divorced, no.
00:41:40
Speaker 1: One of them. That's like remarkable things can happen even late in the game.
00:41:45
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And then she says it like Francis mays under the Tusk and.
00:41:50
Speaker 1: Sun, Like she's fucking quoting like Gabriel.
00:41:54
Speaker 2: Literally will go to for I know the plans I have for you, Jeremiah. I love it. She's pulling stuff out of the Bible. That's very The third Testament, like I know that doesn't exist, but.
00:42:05
Speaker 1: It's very like Testament.
00:42:07
Speaker 2: It's a very like new churches that have extra books. You know what I'm saying. What we're calling.
00:42:14
Speaker 1: Extra books's where they're getting to the Book of Josh.
00:42:17
Speaker 2: Quotes like Under the test and Sun Michelle Obama Feesians like all in the same page. And she's like, as Michelle Obama said, when they go low, we go high. But as Jodi Picou said in her book, as the page turned, but when Jeremiah said, And.
00:42:34
Speaker 1: That's why I do think it's important to compare Under to the Bible because they are literally important.
00:42:40
Speaker 2: It's also the most amazing divorce movie.
00:42:45
Speaker 1: I mean that movie is the one of the most movie inspiring films of all time. Blows Eat Play Live out of the.
00:42:50
Speaker 2: Water, Oh my God, because it's like, yes, try to get water working in a villa. Try.
00:42:57
Speaker 1: There's just this way where she says things like I don't know, she is completely insane, Like the point when the therapist is like, one time, my therapists like in order to help my husband, like better imagine our couples, therapists told us an analogy one time that always helped me when it came to healing. He told us to picture that my ex was driving a car and crashed the car so horribly that my injuries included losing both of my legs. He looked at my ex and said, you wouldn't just tell her to move on and forget about it, would you?
00:43:24
Speaker 2: She lost her legs.
00:43:25
Speaker 1: It's like, that's helpful to you imagining you lost both of your legs in a car accident. That's just a metaphor you returned to regularly.
00:43:35
Speaker 2: I mean, some people need you know. That slap in the face so fucking crazy. Honestly, I was thinking and like, I read this interview on Jesus talks dot com between her and my ex when they were still together, and it's so tense. We're basically one of them will be asked a question and he starts off the interview by being like, for example, we got in an argument this morning and this book is about like healing this. And you're like, okay, so you were fighting before leaving the home. They're like, did you give Jason snack? We have an interview at five with Jesus Talks online dot com slash podcast.
00:44:14
Speaker 1: Did you see the talking points I sent over for you to talk about how we fight good and then.
00:44:19
Speaker 2: They'll respond to each other in the Jesus talks being like, well said, honey, do you call your lover honey? That seems like for parents, Honey, I feels strange for me, And that's just personal, honey, feels strange to me.
00:44:33
Speaker 1: Strained, Oh, strained. I guess if I do say it, there's like a hint of self awareness that I am doing a little bit of a performative kind of honey, old fashioned. Okay, Honey, Sweetie. I mean I call him sweetie a lot and again, but you know, names I think are always like a little bit performative, of course, you know. I mean, babe is like so millennial and fun, right, babe, Babe, babe.
00:44:57
Speaker 2: Because that's when you say, like you want something, Babe, can you give me a water?
00:45:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, babe, did you book the tickets? But it's eighties and zero, right, because millenn eighties are back, Well, the eighties are back, and we're children of.
00:45:10
Speaker 2: The eighties, eighties babies.
00:45:12
Speaker 1: I'm a nineties baby and an eighties Mercedes and an eighties baby without a Mercedes. Ultimately, thank you so.
00:45:17
Speaker 2: Much for being in my queendom. By the way, oh my god, and you know I am there.
00:45:21
Speaker 1: Whenever you need to sign those divorce papers. I will be waiting for you on the bench in your second closet.
00:45:28
Speaker 2: At one point, and I will do this for you. One of the members of her queendom goes up to quote unquote my ex with she says a something like a twenty by sixty blow up photo of their wedding photos. Okay, it's so crazy. It's like very group on massive canvas print out goes up to him and goes, you're throwing it all away? Did you really want to do this? Did you really want to do this time?
00:45:59
Speaker 1: This is actually crazy, these seeds. So when in orlanda to play a show, I looked in Sawdust as a number that, when googled, were not places that a married man should be dialing. So it's like one of the times she finds out to these t My ex was staying at our neighbors during our first split, and Sarah was the girl who marched up the street to see him. She brought along a sixty by thirty inch wedding photo of us and said to him, how could you mess this up? I'll never forget sweet little Sarah carrying that Shutterfly framed canvas as she hiked up iron Wood Drive.
00:46:33
Speaker 2: Thirty by sixty shutterfly? Are you by sixty Shutterfly? I mean, because you know their house is massive, blown up photos of them and the kids and Christmas and Michigan and his football career and her album thirty one? Yeah, taking that off the wall? How could you her?
00:46:51
Speaker 1: Her like certified bronze album.
00:46:57
Speaker 3: Segments sixteen, How does she live?
00:47:08
Speaker 1: How does she wear?
00:47:09
Speaker 2: What does she eat?
00:47:11
Speaker 1: What does she eats?
00:47:13
Speaker 2: Not much? Its She is cooking for her kids from Cavalari's cookbook and is making them like sweet potato fries.
00:47:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she's heard of healthy stuff. I mean, she's also just been so nasty and like Hormel. She's like not going to the deli because she's weirded out by asking for them to make her So she's buying that like pre package where it's called like deli style ham for the kid sandwiches.
00:47:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not buying Hormel. She's not as like Applegate, I think is Kristen and more like.
00:47:42
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. She is the deli style like she is Hormel.
00:47:46
Speaker 2: Right, just maybe like one step above.
00:47:49
Speaker 1: Just deal with it.
00:47:49
Speaker 2: She's Hormel, she's not buying Hormel, but she's Kroger. She's said that's her old bibecue. But I think four hundred dollars purse.
00:47:59
Speaker 1: I don't think even doing Applegate. I don't know.
00:48:02
Speaker 2: Maybe she's just like more craft.
00:48:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's getting baby Bell Jesus for the kids who love their baby Bell.
00:48:08
Speaker 2: And like she's having sushi on a girl's night out on Broadway.
00:48:13
Speaker 1: Can't you see her?
00:48:14
Speaker 2: Just I don't like sushi, chicken sushi, Chi sushi.
00:48:19
Speaker 1: She's chicken sushi. Does she drink because she said at the bounce Castle party she said grabs a drink, But like, is she grabbing like a lemonade?
00:48:31
Speaker 2: She does, because she says on nights where I just wanted to wine's huge glass of Josh.
00:48:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's very cougartown in that way.
00:48:43
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's like Costa Migo's water ice she likes, or it's red wine. But I think she is.
00:48:53
Speaker 1: Like a nice hot glass of cab and then.
00:48:55
Speaker 2: Is like, go for a run. Don't have a hot glass of cab? Then how does she It's like so storage like everything, it's like little containers of chips put into another piece.
00:49:07
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's also very like Studio McGee in this way where it's just like such.
00:49:11
Speaker 2: A white old and like white and it's.
00:49:15
Speaker 1: Actual snowstorm in there. You can't see anything, and it's like there's a cream rug on the carpeted interior closet of her like second guest bedroom. Yeah, that has so many like benches in the closet and like underlighting.
00:49:27
Speaker 2: Except she mentions does she mentioned having a laundry room with her like interior designer, and they have a massive cross nailed.
00:49:34
Speaker 1: They have like a custom channel leer that looks exactly the same as like a non custom him. It's like such a cage.
00:49:40
Speaker 2: The end of the book is her buying like a nearby farm close to her other house and being like I built in a screened and porch just for me off of my walking closet. It's again more closets.
00:49:57
Speaker 1: Closets and laundry room.
00:49:58
Speaker 2: Yes, that's like upper laundry sheet laundry.
00:50:02
Speaker 1: And there is like a hanging framed sign that says SuDS in the.
00:50:07
Speaker 2: In the SuDS at home, wash up love SuDS. Does she wear like she is a little tank means it's swayed booties. It's Christian girl Autumn. I mean on the cover she's laughing, black tank top.
00:50:23
Speaker 1: She's a little bit more. I'm an interesting girl.
00:50:26
Speaker 2: She's a flint.
00:50:28
Speaker 1: By wearing this kind of ass is watchings and a flannel tight around her waist, and the.
00:50:31
Speaker 2: Flannel tied around her waist on the cover of her book is saying like, I'm interesting.
00:50:36
Speaker 1: I'm on that, I'm interesting. I have two country albums. But she's wearing so much thin uncommon James jewelry and stettle backs bracelets, just like you can't be a woman and not have stack bracelets now.
00:50:47
Speaker 2: And I think she's sometimes throwing on a massive brunch chat for chicken sushi.
00:50:52
Speaker 1: For chicken sushi, and then she's like, but I realized that that hat was a way of me hiding yes.
00:50:58
Speaker 2: And so I took off the hat and I ran and I just ram, who are you in the book? I think you're Pamelin.
00:51:04
Speaker 1: I'm there. I'm not letting your ex go into the master And I'm sitting on like the foyer bench and the upstairs foyer, like both outside the laundry room, like.
00:51:16
Speaker 2: A sign that says like fold them up, boys, you're going to Ireland.
00:51:23
Speaker 1: No, we are going to Ireland.
00:51:26
Speaker 2: Not coming in this closet.
00:51:28
Speaker 1: It's not your steventh closet anymore.
00:51:31
Speaker 2: I am I.
00:51:32
Speaker 1: Mean, are you just another member of the queen?
00:51:35
Speaker 2: I was like, am I Seth being like damn, this bitch is crazy.
00:51:41
Speaker 1: And you're like such a good dad, like at a bounce house. I don't think that you would be like, let's go in the bounce castle together. I think you would be like, I'm getting not just in there.
00:51:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm grabbing a drink. Okay. Am I Aaron Opera? I think I'm Sophia Bush, like I'm on set with her, and I'm like by the bird.
00:52:00
Speaker 1: You're like literally by the bird the bird.
00:52:02
Speaker 2: But like I'm never talking to her again.
00:52:04
Speaker 1: That's true.
00:52:06
Speaker 2: It's hard.
00:52:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, in many ways, this is one of the worst books I've ever read, but it's also one of the funniest books I've ever had.
00:52:12
Speaker 2: I know, it's one of the best. I had so much fun reading it. I was cracking up, like I was screaming, laughing, saying like whiskey, golf and guns. Yeah, it's closets thirteen foot Christmas tree feeding.
00:52:25
Speaker 1: Would ranch bebecue grill. I don't know, Janna. You know you're a tough one. Your career is so random, and I'm so glad you continue to work. And I don't know. Those two hours that I watched One Tree Hill last night were some.
00:52:39
Speaker 2: Of the most beautiful. And I listened to all of your album thirty one last night.
00:52:44
Speaker 1: I was listening to her music though the other day and I was like, I don't know, it is so Christian and boring, beyond that one.
00:52:50
Speaker 2: Song, beyond I've Got the Boy, but also.
00:52:51
Speaker 1: Because I just also listened to Morgan Wayne's album, which is so good and good, like.
00:52:55
Speaker 2: Literally I'm like crying from Morgan Wades.
00:52:58
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of like Jana. I don't like she's a great mom. She's a great give her a four out of five, four out of five Lincoln Navigator, like seven minute car rides to school as a mom.
00:53:11
Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna lie because you don't need this. I'm going to say three point seven thirteen feet Christmas trees out of thirty one years a fe.
00:53:25
Speaker 1: Open up an Excel spreadsheet into the map, Thank you for your country, an amen, Amen, best best praise.
00:53:38
Speaker 2: Be to my queen and producer Darby Masters, who not only took my kids in on New Year's Eve when I wanted to have a date for the first time after my divorce, but has stood by me whether we're on the couch drinking red wine or running errands at Loew's in the Greater National.
00:54:00
Speaker 1: I would also like to give a special good Christian shout out to my supervising producer Abu Zafar, who personally baptized my second son, Chrayson in his farm sank Thank you about praise be to our executive producer Christina Everett and all of the work that she does in his name on this earth.
00:54:27
Speaker 2: And of course you know we love music because the Lord gave us music. So I want to thank to my sister, my Queen, Stephen Lynn phillipsina host Jason Crawford for doing the theme song.
00:54:42
Speaker 1: I want to shout out to our former dearly departed member of our Queendom prologue projects. Sometimes relationships don't work out, but what happens on the other side in the next chapter is even more beautiful, and we thank them for being so strong and willing to evolve with us on that journey that we are continuing to evolve towards.
00:55:07
Speaker 2: I love seeing them at my kids, Jason Line and Crayson soccer games.
00:55:12
Speaker 1: They are so supportive. They are always there with both beer and non alcoholic beer. I like to do a mix of both half and half.
00:55:22
Speaker 2: Shout out to Shutterfly artists Eddie Blanks for saying yes, I will actually leave my job in HR and follow my passion that Christ gave me in painting and graphics design period.
00:55:37
Speaker 1: Please, if you would like to hear more of the Word of God, go to patron Our Concepts, CBC the Pod to hear another sermon every Friday for the rest of your life. Amen.
00:55:47
Speaker 2: Amen,
Speaker 1: Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends. You've filthy horse, your husband's gone, and we've got books and a bottle of wine to kill. It's Hollywood, it's books, it's gossip. I'm sure it's memoir.
00:00:14
Speaker 2: It's Martini. Celebrity poof Club. To read it while it's hot.
00:00:21
Speaker 1: Celebrity poof Club, Tell your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books. No, boys are a loud celet book say it Loud and cloud Celevety Book Club.
00:00:35
Speaker 2: Buzz me in. I brought the queer vow. Hey, best friend, what's up?
00:00:40
Speaker 1: I am so good my queen from my queendom sister wife.
00:00:46
Speaker 2: I am feeling so blessed.
00:00:48
Speaker 1: Today and so freaking blessed, and.
00:00:50
Speaker 2: I'm blessed to be here in the studio with you.
00:00:53
Speaker 1: It's so crazy to just like get back in New York. You guys, it's fall, as we keep.
00:00:57
Speaker 2: Saying, keep on saying. Now They're like, yeah, it's actually winter.
00:01:01
Speaker 1: I feel like it's been like our first episode back like three episodes.
00:01:05
Speaker 2: But I'm like, no, but we're literally back back in New York. New York is jerusay is a live It's.
00:01:11
Speaker 1: So I'm rushing around the city. I've never felt more me. I'm stomping to Holy hell, it's crazy.
00:01:17
Speaker 2: I've never had so many iced coffees, like putting on cowboy boots, black shirts, black tubed tops, receiving emails and not receiving emails. Events.
00:01:27
Speaker 1: It's about events. It's about green tea, black tea.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: And you know what it is. It's like, I just I watched that Sex and the City where Charlotte almost becomes a lesbian and starts hanging out the powers Yeah, and the carry line. I've just never felt so saint New Yorkers go to the opening of an envelope and I'm just like, yes, yes.
00:01:50
Speaker 1: She's like lesbians. They all have Killer I wear.
00:01:53
Speaker 2: Killer Ie wear, invisible makeup and just like designer footwear.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Right, it's like as if Carrie is not wearing done It where that's your whole thing.
00:02:01
Speaker 2: It's a little more there being like Gucci sleds and Prota loafers. They're being more girls, all girls of.
00:02:07
Speaker 1: Today who are wearing like heavy loafers, heavy loafers. I wouldn't say the girls of today that are all doing Killer I Wear. Also, the no one's doing Killer I Wear I'm looking at you. Wow, Well I.
00:02:21
Speaker 2: Want to go glasses shopping, and I'm manifesting new glasses. I'm wearing my like medicaid.
00:02:26
Speaker 1: Problems with I wear. It's either so functional or it's trying too hard. It's just like there's no good.
00:02:31
Speaker 2: So you hate my glasses.
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I don't hate your glasses, but it's like unless you actually are like so old school and aviators, it's just like you're just gonna.
00:02:39
Speaker 2: Look like a big lesbian, like you're just.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: Going to Moscow and like trying to be aviators. Not you just anyone.
00:02:46
Speaker 2: Oh totally, that's true saying I didn't know. I mean, I think, and I've been on the search for like the subtle pair of aviator glasses. But you put it on, You're just like here, I am, like, get it. I'm being retro.
00:02:56
Speaker 1: It's tough. I wear super tough.
00:02:58
Speaker 2: I bought Croaky Is to look like a surf instructor over the summer.
00:03:02
Speaker 1: Okay, like bag me on. Like it's also just so like mom Volvo nineties.
00:03:07
Speaker 2: I got really inspired by on the ferry to Nantucket when I came to visit you, Like all the guys were in such like funk f croquies that were like braided with their Cisco Brewery facated crokies. Yeah.
00:03:19
Speaker 1: Also when just like I was getting on the plane Intucket this weekend to come back to New York. Yeah, and I overheard this woman going, she's on the phone or something. She's like, so Mount Auburn Cemetery quoted us anywhere from five thousand to twenty five thousand, and I'm trumps. And of course my mother doesn't even want to have the conversation because she's worried that they're going to die first. And I said, what if me and Ken get into a car I put in tomorrow? And I don't want to have my kids have to worry about putting together arrangements literally me. So she's trying to reserve a whole family plot. She's doing plot at Mount Auburn, I mean, which is she said, quite expensive.
00:03:57
Speaker 2: But expensive which where my father is intermed? Is that the word no? But interned?
00:04:03
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:04:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, he's an intern there. You guys, fall it's a good time to estate plan someone who probably has done a little bit of a state planning but probably didn't with her ex.
00:04:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would have been a really tough conversation which sounds like most of the conversations are tough.
00:04:23
Speaker 2: You guys, you know her from the seventh season of One Tree Hill Season seventh.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: You also may not know her from Friday Night Lights. You may also not know her from.
00:04:35
Speaker 2: Her album thirty one, but you may country music album you are a country fan. You may know her from her song I Got the.
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Boy like She Got the Man, which is a good song. Of course, we're talking about another Chriss singer, Christian.
00:04:53
Speaker 2: Mama Jana Kramer, and her book the Next Chapter making Peace for Hard Memories, finding hope all around Me, and clearing space for come. So, you guys, let's get so real for a second.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: The cover. If you can imagine what she looks like, she's like small, She's a really small spaniel waves coming down. She looks big, smile and cavalery, gold jewelry.
00:05:23
Speaker 2: She kind of cavaleried before Cavalery, like she is Nashville Mama.
00:05:27
Speaker 1: But she's way less personality than Cavalier because she's not even Moscow Mule. She's not even like all my copper mugs.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: No, I mean she walked so Cavalier could absolutely run like I'm saying, like she is in Cavalery camp of being married to a toxic retired football player at your massive Nashville house where both of you just walk around islands and fight with each other and have kids name like with Jays, her kids names and j and Jase spell j a y Ce No, why, oh it's just right Jace, not even that boy band, It's just jaccause Cavalari's kids are Sailor Taylor James.
00:06:10
Speaker 1: James was a girl, right of course. And I forgot the other one.
00:06:13
Speaker 2: There is like a Jason with a y.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: I think Jace in Jane's case.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: Is a boy. Yeah, and Jeli.
00:06:23
Speaker 1: And now she has a new kid that's name is like London or something with her allan fourth husband, fourth husband that she's basically this book is about how she got divorced from her third husband, who was her longest marriage, who she had previously written a New York Times best selling book which is called.
00:06:38
Speaker 2: The Good Fight. And it's so crazy.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: Because fighting with your husband.
00:06:42
Speaker 2: It's literally about fighting with your husband and again New York Times best selling author, and they got a two book deal when they signed the deal for the Good Fight, so they were supposed to write a second book about like fighting, more fighting, but then they got divorced, and so she wrote the next chapter, and The Good Fight is all about how his sex addiction and infidelity.
00:07:03
Speaker 1: Caused a lot of problems in their marriage, but they worked through by fighting in a good way, and then obviously got divorced.
00:07:08
Speaker 2: It's so classic if anyone pretends to be like a fucking expert on like parenting.
00:07:14
Speaker 1: Or like marriage, I mean those who can't do teach.
00:07:17
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, the curtain falls down and she's like, we were fighting so much on our book tour, about our book about fighting songs.
00:07:27
Speaker 1: Really mad. I sounds like you had nothing else to talk about because they have nothing in common. I do have to wonder what it takes to be a New York Times bestselling author, because you know, nobody reads these days, and like, if you're selling twenty books, are you getting on that list?
00:07:40
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm sure a ton of other random Like.
00:07:45
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe I still has maybe moved top, like two thousand copies of that book and that got her on the list.
00:07:52
Speaker 2: Two thousand copies of The Good Fight. I think it came out though, like maybe like on the Heat of the Boy, her amazing single.
00:08:00
Speaker 1: I have no idea. The timeline of where her career this is twenty twenty two, so anyway, anyway, this book is a journey of divorce.
00:08:08
Speaker 2: And finding yourself and loving yourself and getting your gall bladder removed and quoting the Bible, and like having like friends in Nashville named like Caitlin Pamelin Casin.
00:08:20
Speaker 1: As she calls her queendom, and the whole book is basically just like her being in different rooms of her huge house. The very first sentence of the book is, I was in the downstairs master closet with my two children, Jolie and Jace. Then she's always like going to the foyer, going to the upstairs guest bedroom, like sitting in the kitchen while Pamelin is in the foyer.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: She's like, oh, Caitlin was actually in my seventh guest bedroom as a me And oh, also the best part of this was not the best, but there's so many good parts of those book. She refers to her ex Mike as my ex capitalized.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: And so throughout the entire book she never says his name, even of like we all know it all, I mean, honestly, we all don't You do google it you can find out that he was like a Jacksonville Jaguar, which, to quote Kathy Griffin to this day, I don't know if that's a college or a pro team. I assume it must be pro, right, because how are they paying for this?
00:09:16
Speaker 2: It is, Yeah, it is pro okay, but it's again and.
00:09:19
Speaker 1: Miss J Cutler way, it's very like never went to the Super Bowl.
00:09:21
Speaker 2: Like it's very a football player that it's like made some money nedd J.
00:09:25
Speaker 1: Cutler too, Oh, I'm sure she did, which is just so big.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: And it's like like one of these football players that's like, yeah, he was pro and played, but like never went to a Super Bowl, was never like a star on his team. It was just kind of like a player and is now roaming his large house and buying stuff. Yeah, and it's so also just like big property Brothers home where so many boxes are being delivered every single day and she's like, our huge fight came when a box got delivered. It was a five hundred dollars watch.
00:09:58
Speaker 1: Oh that he bought. He bought, and she had said, let's make a budget and we were like down to budgeting because you know, work wasn't so steady. It was like in between one tree Hill seasons, and she was never actually like fully recurring right.
00:10:10
Speaker 2: And again like she's always been like I was on tour for my music, but it was a one night show in a romania. She or she'll be like, oh, we had in a huge fight, but I had to catch a flight to film Necropolis Seven Scares of the Titans.
00:10:25
Speaker 1: There's just's like tarror reid ass movie career. So she says, we need to like rein in our spending, and then he goes and buys a five hundred dollars watch just frankly, kind of cheap for a watch.
00:10:37
Speaker 2: It's really mid because you're like, okay, it's not one hundred dollars watch where you're like, this is a budget watch, but it's not like a Rollux or a Brightling that's like five to twenty thousand.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: So he's pissed that she's like controlling him, and she's like, we had a great on the budget, and I'm a little like, who's right here? I guess I'm like, on the one hand, they did agree, I kind.
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Of think she's in the right because they because.
00:11:00
Speaker 1: They had the conversation. His reaction, he was just like what the fuck, Like are you man, it's like that was the problem exactly, like if you had said, you know what, You're right. We did have a conversation about this, and I'm sorry.
00:11:12
Speaker 2: But I really wanted this watch. I wanted this feels better and I feel sad as a retired Jacksonville.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: Lated. Yes, like tell your ANTM SOB storye just like my dad beat me, and like this right, and like I always wanted to go to Switzerland, like I never had that opportunity, and like this helps me feel more culture because I'm so insecure.
00:11:34
Speaker 2: In the locker, never communicate, which is funny because they wrote a book called The Good Fight.
00:11:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I feel like this is that thing though, where it's like, when you have nothing in common, all you can do is talk about your relationship.
00:11:45
Speaker 2: Yes, she comes to honestly a good realization at the end where she does say there is a certain amount of therapy that becomes counterproductive, and yet she is addicted, addicted to her therapist, thanks the therapist.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: That the end is like therapy, thank you speed dial.
00:12:02
Speaker 2: And it's like I love you.
00:12:04
Speaker 1: She's constantly calling the therapists from my closet from a closet on vacation, like with her new boyfriend that she's seen worryings, patterns of lying, and and I'm like, this is not what therapy is supposed to be. Therapists you go, when you talk, and you leave.
00:12:18
Speaker 2: It's like, to my therapist, Amy Alexander, I will never be able to thank you enough for the many hours you've spent with me over the last four years, and for the not in office hours when I called you from a closet. Thank you for loving me however I showed up in your room, and for not giving up on me. You gave me the eyes to see and strength to leave, but most important, thank you for leading me back to myself.
00:12:37
Speaker 1: It's like, I just don't think that that's how therapy should work.
00:12:40
Speaker 2: I think it works. I've had a therapist give me their number, being like okay for this like hard time you're about to go through, like you can have my number, which I do think makes sense.
00:12:50
Speaker 1: But it's like I remember one time my analyst he was like going on vacation. He was like, and here's a number you can reach me at. And I'm like, that's never been our thing. I'm never calling you, being like he needs to talk her therapy is actually so childish. This is crazy. Once we were doing an exercise with these therapeutic cards with pictures and emotion related words, and she asked, in your marriage right now, how do you feel? The words sad, lonely, and numb were just a few of the cards I grabbed from the pile. Then she told me to pick cards that represented where I wanted to be. The words free, safe, and happy filled the cute art deco run that line the floors. She's literally picking up a flash card that says the words sad off of a home depot quote art deco rug in the therapist office, I'm like, are you four? Are you literally four?
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Okay? Though one day we were asked to pick up a beanie baby to represent in our child.
00:13:47
Speaker 1: Is that the cult?
00:13:48
Speaker 2: Yes? When she goes to something called on site therapy, that's very cold and very like you're ziplining a.
00:13:55
Speaker 1: Little bit.
00:13:58
Speaker 2: Hoffmann Institute, but so iconic and like twisted about this therapy center too, is she had gone to it before with her ex husband and he met someone there that he had an affair with for months yea, And yet she returned and was like, no, I actually think this is a healthy space for me.
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean obviously there's she is a little bit addicted.
00:14:21
Speaker 2: She's addicted to therapy, and she's addicted to the good fight.
00:14:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like, honey, it's not a good fight. No.
00:14:27
Speaker 2: I think they're going back though about men and women in the Battle of the Sexes, and Harry met Sally like she says, the only time they were happy is like when they were playing games and just being like straight and.
00:14:36
Speaker 1: Playing playing poker, yes, playing risk on their poker table, but also playing poker and also playing banana grams. And I would beat his but at bananagrams. Yes, I beat his butt.
00:14:48
Speaker 2: And it's like, yeah, they probably didn't have anything to talk about, so it's like all you do have is to be like, don't go to the gym. Did you look at that girl?
00:14:56
Speaker 1: Well, now I'm thinking of this subway takes. I saw that their day. The instagram account saida takes that we've both been on, and this comedian was just like straight people need to learn from gay relationships because if you look at lesbian and gay male relationships, it's like the extreme of like what that gender prefers, Like lesbians are really into listening to each other. Gay guys are really into letting the other gay guys sleep with other people, right, like what men want. So it's like what straight couples need to do is the woman needs to let the man be more of a gay guy and sleep with other people, and the man needs more of less mean listen to the woman.
00:15:37
Speaker 2: Period and.
00:15:39
Speaker 1: Period. That great people do need to listen to gay couples.
00:15:43
Speaker 2: They do.
00:15:44
Speaker 1: Like she kind of admits that the book, She's like, I know that in some ways, me being like so watching him like a hawk and like making so many rules about how he's not allowed to like use his email was making him want to cheat more.
00:15:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, she kind of figures that out, and then she says a lot of times when she dates this guy quote unquote Seth that she like meets at a children's birthday party and it's like you're in Nashville. It's such a music video where she's being like, I saw a strong man in a backwards white mesh drive it Nike.
00:16:17
Speaker 1: Hat muscles.
00:16:19
Speaker 2: Under yeah, and I saw him at a bouncy house with kids, And it's all country songs that are about like how the hottest thing is to like see a man being a father or like she drinks whiskey, but you should see her hold a baby. Yeah, and she dances and shoots Crown Royal at night and Sunday morning she's praying.
00:16:43
Speaker 1: And then he comes up to her and he's like, how do you feel about Bounce Castle?
00:16:49
Speaker 2: And she's like, get away from me.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: You're crazy, and then they go into the Bounce House together that's been rented for this just like children.
00:16:59
Speaker 2: Jessica Simson and like massive bar Literally.
00:17:01
Speaker 1: The episode of One Tree Hill that I watched last night was about a children's birthday party at a huge, like suburban house. That show, by the way, so bad. I'm sorry.
00:17:11
Speaker 2: Oh no, it felt like I was watching Days of Our Lives.
00:17:14
Speaker 1: It's that level where it's just like the acting's crazy.
00:17:18
Speaker 2: There's thirty storylines. The episode I saw her acting was so funny. So her character is a totally ego maniac sex nymph named Alex Dupree.
00:17:29
Speaker 1: She's barely acting. She tries to commit suicide and she keeps just showing her wrists that have these like really bad makeup, like suicide like cuts on them. Every interior of that show is just like another house.
00:17:41
Speaker 2: It's only like she sees the bars the most set where it's like neon lights, like big tabletop and she's just got back from rehab and so she's like at the bar and they're like, no tequila shots for you. So she makes out with a guy. She's like, I missed tequila, just something. I love tequila. No, but then it's like that, and then it shoots to a guy who's saving like a gerbil, and then it's like a guy getting sued because he slept with like a girl, and then it's a guy who is a murderer.
00:18:15
Speaker 1: It is so deserlized because it's like there are thirty storylines, but they're all moving at a snails pace and like nothing's happening and everyone's so Christian, and you like think there's sexual tension and there's like not even But I watched.
00:18:26
Speaker 2: The front of the pod. Daniel told me to watch the pilot last year. He was like, the first season of Wintree Hills really good, and I did, and I will say the first season is good.
00:18:38
Speaker 1: By the time and it's being more oc but it Jana gets into it still feels like it's ocy for toddlers.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: It's more like lobotomy os, like you're on like so many amphetamines but also like killing yourself and yeah, it's just classic, like let's rent it in and it's very Nico Tourtello where he's being so like, yeah, a crew of us were all like fucking on the seventh season, and you're kind of like, I'm not seeing that intensity and passion on the show. But I gues. Speaking of cuts, there's a moment where she reveals that she casually grabs the gun. Yeah, the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun, and that's when she realizes she needs to go back to the on site therapy center where her ex cheated on her Baline.
00:19:24
Speaker 1: I sat down on my bed. She's always just like crying, going into a closet, collapsing the floor, while Pamelin or one of her other queendoms is like in the next door on a bench waiting and the husband's coming but he's not but she's telling him no, but like they're slitting up the kids and like signing papers. Balie, I sat down my own bed. They grabbed my gun case out of my nack table. Joy opened it and stared down at that gun in my hands and cry the loudest I ever have I wanted the noise to stop. I wanted my brain to stop. I wanted the messages to stop. I just wanted it all to stop, the noises and barely loud voices from the media. She's also referencing like social media coming for all the time, and she was like, as you know, like everyone knew the details of my divorce, and it's.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: Like did we did we? And then I like googled today her and seth this guy that she fell into all the old patterns with, like too soon after her and quote unquote my ex broke up and he very much told us weekly because he couldn't stand the silence anymore. And it makes so much sense. He was basically just like, she's such a crazy hoe and has attachment love style and wouldn't let me go anywhere or hang out with anything else.
00:20:27
Speaker 1: It's funny though, that at the one point she's mad at the ex. I quote my ex for buying some golf clubs and guns, she says, But she's like, I grabbed my gun case.
00:20:37
Speaker 2: She's still just like, no, yes, yes, we have guns, Yes.
00:20:40
Speaker 1: We have guns, and all women have got.
00:20:42
Speaker 2: How was it fart? She's like, well, so my ex came back to grab his whiskey, bottles, golf clubs, and guns. And again it's like such a lyric of just being like you left that bottle of whiskey, but it's more about purchasing new guns. It's kind of a given, like, of course we have guns, Country Star, of course I have guns club. Okay, let's bring it back for a second. Her childhood, it's very it ends with us where her dad was like slightly abusive to the mom and would like throw pasta at the mom.
00:21:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, like getting in such a food fight.
00:21:29
Speaker 2: And she's like, is like the spaghetti sauce stains are still on mama's curtains.
00:21:34
Speaker 1: And then you know, so she's like caught in this pattern in the cycle of you is. And of course so her first husband is actually like so terrifying and literally tries to kill Scary and is charged with attempted.
00:21:47
Speaker 2: Murder literally attempted murder.
00:21:49
Speaker 1: Goes to jail for like four years, it gets out, then commits suicide, which she doesn't mention the book.
00:21:55
Speaker 2: But so it's kind of like no wonder hashtag is a good fight?
00:21:59
Speaker 1: Oh no, I get it. And it's like the husband, like my ex does sound like an asshole.
00:22:05
Speaker 2: But he's not abusive. He just like is not a real cheater, and he's more verbally abusive. Yeah, she's crying and he'll be like, boohoo, what are you crying again?
00:22:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's like, I was in the downstairs, upstairs laundry room crying.
00:22:21
Speaker 2: Oh wait. She's also always like referencing really subtily like her breast implants, but keeps in calling it her breast augmentation.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: I just I had the favorite. A few months after Vancouver, I was recovering from a breast augmentation at home in Nashville. I was I had a lot of physical limitations. I couldn't lift anything in my bedroom. My laundry basket was filling up. Oh wait, this is when she's like crying in the laundry room. I left the laundroom to go to the bedroom again. It's just it's always just the different all she is just moving between rooms in her house. But I love how casually I was recovering from a.
00:22:56
Speaker 2: Not the one, just one.
00:22:58
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like it's a haircut.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: And then she's like, I need my surgery bra. She was like, and I had such trouble asking for help, which is such a therapy thing of people being like, here's the thing. I'm actually so independent and I'm so stubborn, so I never asked for help. And she asked him to wash a bra for her, and he puts it in the wash, but then he doesn't dry.
00:23:19
Speaker 1: You know, she's always been such a self starter and fought for herself, as you know. And I may quote when they're having financial conversations around their divorce. I was told not to communicate with my expect logistics. But how couldn't I say anything? This was my life, this was my money, money that I had fought to earn for years. I was the girl who stole toilet paper from the wood Ranch, b bugau and grill and ate frozen to quitos for a grueling year while I tried to make it in La.
00:23:45
Speaker 2: It's so La girl. It reminds me of our dear friend Maddie host of Nosecandy, La Resident and staying there when we did our La show and looking in her freezer box of frozen teqita.
00:23:58
Speaker 1: And she's also stealing deep from the wood Ranch, BBQ and grillque. The fact that she says BBQ and grill, it's just so just like a Simpson where she's like, I'm adding color and texture. It's my interesting book.
00:24:13
Speaker 2: And also, if I may this part about money, he's buying this five hundred dollars watch, but she felt she never deserved the money and to spend it. And one day she sees it beautiful with the ring four one hundred dollars bird ring.
00:24:28
Speaker 1: With a bird like leaving a cage, and she's with Sophia Bush her coaster of One Tree Hill.
00:24:33
Speaker 2: Now lesbian with Ashland Harris.
00:24:35
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I wonder if Sophia thought Janet was hot.
00:24:39
Speaker 2: No, because Sofia I feel like wants a foot I don't think she wants this tiny Nashville. I don't see the sexual attention.
00:24:47
Speaker 1: So she's like, oh, I don't know if I can afford this three hundred dollars ring, and Sofia, Butu's just like, no, babe, you're a serious regular on season eight of One Tree Hill. You can afford this three hundred dollars bird ring. So she buys it, and then she's like, and then every time I look at it, I see the bird leaving the cage, and I think, yes, I am a bird leaving a cage.
00:25:05
Speaker 2: And then she's like, to quote one of my favorite authors, Maya andrew Ullo. She's always going from a Maya Angelou quote to it just an online quote about divorce that's like anonymous, to then like Ephasian's thirty eight two.
00:25:22
Speaker 1: At a certain point, the God references just start, like she just starts slipping him in how do you find beauty in the worst of times? Jesus was rejected more than any of us. He knows what it's like to feel betrayed by the ones you love, which is why quote the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalms thirty four eighteen. What'd she say, Oh, period, Psalms thirty four eighteen, of course.
00:25:44
Speaker 2: And she's like, oh, so getting back into exercise was really hard for me, but now I can just run to worship music and it feels really good.
00:25:53
Speaker 1: Yeah. When she's running and she's just like singing along.
00:25:56
Speaker 2: To God, she's so crazy and small see list Hollywood star that she's like, I wasn't really exercising that much. I was just doing my classic to a day workout with my trainer. Yeah, but then I needed to get serious and you guys. Once I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in between workouts.
00:26:14
Speaker 1: I know, give me, I'm pregnant. Sorry, I was pregnant. I know. I'm discussing and gaining thirty five pounds and my first husband told me I was fat and then tried to murder me. But then I ran a half marathon and I finally got thin again, and like, also, half a book is just her being like, so yes, mama, Like I did start running a lot and I got thin and I looked at it.
00:26:33
Speaker 2: Yes, I look good, okay, And it was hot girl summer, not because I was being a slut, but because I was listening.
00:26:38
Speaker 1: To God and I was taking a lot of selfies. But I was also finding myself Phasian's thirty six Okay, back to money though.
00:26:47
Speaker 2: But also best line ever in the book when she goes I created my first ever Excel spreadsheet, that's what.
00:26:54
Speaker 1: Okay, after left night, I created my first ever Excel spreadsheet. We all remember that moment.
00:27:00
Speaker 2: Wait, when was yours my first Excel?
00:27:02
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's probably Honestly, I'm not gonna lie, it may have been post college, because I don't know when I would have used Excel in college, and I think it probably was when I was working in fundraising.
00:27:15
Speaker 2: Wow, when was my first Oh, probably when I was doing casting right out of college.
00:27:21
Speaker 1: Right, it's not until job life that we start using Excel.
00:27:24
Speaker 2: And I remember being like, ooh, I wish I like learn more about this in college because I'm being slow about it. Okay, So after her abusive husband, though, she gets her gallbladder removed.
00:27:34
Speaker 1: Oh, when she's shooting in Romania Necropolis seven, and this is early, she's like nineteen, and so she goes to this hospital like Bucharest and they're just like, oh, you're appendix's about to burst and the like remove her appendix and she's like, I'm still in so much main I feel like I'm dying. And she's in this fully haunted hospital and then her mom comes and is like, hmm, we're flying you to La like.
00:27:53
Speaker 2: And like keeping your feet elevated.
00:27:55
Speaker 1: And then they're like, it's actually your gallbladder. They get it removed. They're like, if you had gone one more day, your spleen would have and it's a little bit like, yeah, babe, listen, no offense to the Romanians, but it's just like if you have a mysterious pain, Like, don't just like sit there for a week being like I'm still in pain. This is weird, Like what's going on?
00:28:11
Speaker 2: I feel like that's so you though, like you would just be at a hospital in Romania.
00:28:15
Speaker 1: I would maybe initially, and then I would fly and then if the pain was still like an issue, I would like be like, Okay, I'm maybe going to London or New York, right, But.
00:28:24
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, as you know, my girlfriend got her gallbletter removed after much much medical misinformation, yes, and years of them being like, oh no, you have like pancreatitis and you.
00:28:35
Speaker 1: Have sebo oh cebo.
00:28:37
Speaker 2: Cibo is like another gastro thing where like you're only supposed to like eat beets or something. Anyway, if you're having stomach problems, maybe you have gallstones.
00:28:45
Speaker 1: Maybe you have gallstones, had it out, and if you're having a serious medical emergency.
00:28:50
Speaker 2: And again, we love Romania.
00:28:52
Speaker 1: I love Romania, but go to a rich country and I don't get it moving. Wait.
00:28:57
Speaker 2: Sorry, Also, the nineteen year old husband wasn't that her second husband because she got married in Vegas.
00:29:04
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, and she was like that guy was also toxic and he disappeared for six months after they got married and then lied about his dad dying.
00:29:12
Speaker 2: And if I can just read her outfit when she gets married in Vegas, Kitty Perry style, Basically she's wearing a Vonda chat a baby tea in Abercombie cargoes when she gets married in Vegas.
00:29:23
Speaker 1: Oh, I love the Vanda chat. Yeah, she's been so Charlie XCX so this guy. So they meet at a coffee bean and Tea on Fairfax Classic.
00:29:33
Speaker 2: And he tells her that he's Eminem's DJ and she's from Michigan. As a lot of the times in the book, she refers to herself as there's two Janas.
00:29:41
Speaker 1: There's Michigan Jana and regular Jana. And when Michigan Jana is in town, like things are good. So I met him at a coffee being on Fairfax and sense he had bad boy charm that made my heart race. In fact, he could trump us about anyone. He said he was a DJ for Eminet, had the DJ cases and everything. I'm not gonna lie Detroit Hart skipped a double beat for that. It's like skipped a double beat. It's an interesting phrase. I didn't doubt for one second that he had met Eminem or that he was a DJ, but I didn't find out the truth about both of those things until a year or so later. I feel like she doesn't really follow up on that.
00:30:16
Speaker 2: No, She's just kind of like, he disappeared and then I found him and he was like, my dad died, and then he turns out he was an Eminem's DJ, But she doesn't really get down to the conversation of it all.
00:30:26
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:30:27
Speaker 2: I mean, here's the thing about quote unquote what Seth said as he was just like, why do you think Janna has been married four times? Burn?
00:30:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, and she it says as much in the book where she's like, I'm just, you know, because of having bad relationships with men, I just always then want a good relationship and I'm always like, so's fix for me, he will heal me, and I'm just so desperate for love. I means, she has this line when the therapist is like, don't go to the supermarket when you're starving.
00:30:57
Speaker 2: That whole page is actually so bethany where, there's like so much any aphorisms.
00:31:01
Speaker 1: I mean, the whole book is random. And then there's this other part where the therapist says, stop going to home depot looking.
00:31:06
Speaker 2: For Brad that part I screamed.
00:31:09
Speaker 1: This book is almost kind of a psychic sister to the Jared Fogel book, where it's it is about killing, imprisoning psychological landscape of suburbia when just like you look at one Tree Hill and like the way that that whole show is just like so weird and sad and everyone's just in a weird house. Like she only is ever moving from one room of her house to another. The only way she can think of something is just like, am I driving in my like massive Chevy navigator like to pick up my kids? Or am I not driving in my massive link navigator?
00:31:39
Speaker 2: She says she likes to stay home and it's like again it's right like being around a huge island with her queendom, and she talks about how like she was like wait when I started dating, actually, like the group text was more fun than the dating, which is like so classic. But the only time she travels, and she pushes herself to do this if I may.
00:31:57
Speaker 1: Her always go to Irah to Ireland.
00:32:00
Speaker 2: And so she's going for work to Ireland and it's unclear, like are you shooting cowboy? Christmas five Are you wait?
00:32:08
Speaker 1: By the way we watched I didn't realize the half of her this book that she was the star of a Cowboy Christmas.
00:32:12
Speaker 2: She literally watched this past Christmas.
00:32:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she plays Lexi Crimshaw on. Her acting in that movie is also pretty bad and like she's kind of barely acting she honestly.
00:32:23
Speaker 2: She says in this book, I'm an okay singer and I'm an okay actor, but I'm a great mom period period.
00:32:32
Speaker 1: She's open about her skill.
00:32:36
Speaker 2: And I'm like, Jana, are you trying to make another album or you just in more Cowboy Christmas Land.
00:32:42
Speaker 1: Now I think that she can keep just shoving out a lifetime movie every year and that's fine, and.
00:32:47
Speaker 2: Doing her hit podcast on iHeartMedia.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: It's probably why this office in forty five minutes, No whine Dad.
00:32:53
Speaker 2: It's like award winning what award anyway. Her therapist is like, you should take like a day and have fun in Ireland, and she's being like, well, but I can't because like my friend Pamelin doesn't have a passport. She's like, my tour manager weren't going. It's like the idea also of just like hanging out alone in Ireland the day after is like not even an option.
00:33:15
Speaker 1: She literally can't be by herself, and again, this is why she's married four times. She's just like, there was no way that I could, as she says, trapes down a cobblestone street by myself.
00:33:25
Speaker 2: Because I went on a mission to find my partner in chasing joy. I asked Pamelin to go with me, and she said yes right away. She is the epitome of free and fun and we were going to make the very best of it, and boy did we ever. I'm gonna skip ahead here. Once Pamelin and I had boarded our air linka's flight, she pulled out a piece of paper entitled Ireland bucket list. Drink again Us, eat Shepherd's pie, Skip down a cobblestone street, see the cliffs of mahar kiss An, irishmen. We're just about half of the funny yet memorable moments we were about to check off we land in Ireland, I felt this surge of energy and excitement I've never felt before. I was happy, genuinely, really really happy. And then she's like, wait, I should like take a trip.
00:34:13
Speaker 1: Should literally go on one trip?
00:34:14
Speaker 2: Ever?
00:34:15
Speaker 1: Wait, what's on your island?
00:34:16
Speaker 2: Barcket list see the Coast.
00:34:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know we haven't done that.
00:34:19
Speaker 2: We didn't see the coast.
00:34:20
Speaker 1: We have drank a single Guinness.
00:34:22
Speaker 2: We drank Inness, for sure, but I haven't kissed an irishman.
00:34:26
Speaker 1: I don't think I have. Ow you did.
00:34:31
Speaker 2: I would like to shear a sheep. Oh yeah, like get a field for sure.
00:34:37
Speaker 1: It sounds like they're going to be so heavy and the hoods are going to be kind of like kicking you in the face. But I do want that.
00:34:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think we could do it together.
00:34:45
Speaker 1: I would also love to drive in like a rickety old beetle across the country like in the movie Leapier.
00:34:53
Speaker 2: I know, because our driving was so.
00:34:55
Speaker 1: I also like to plant a bomb in a ship in the beltast her On behalf of the IRA Absolutely.
00:35:04
Speaker 2: I think I would like to go to like a football game, oh foot match, Yeah, like a fret match, and like just like get in like such a row.
00:35:11
Speaker 1: I think that could be super fun to get in a row.
00:35:16
Speaker 2: And I mean I stepped danced in Ireland, but I would still like to really learn how to step down.
00:35:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. We were more just like jigging with a crowd.
00:35:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is so funny.
00:35:26
Speaker 1: It was really fun.
00:35:27
Speaker 2: And it's really good for your core. I looked up classes classes. There is a studio in Midtown, so that's on the list. I went to her Christianity journey for a second because she grows up Catholic, and I was surprised because I was like, we was mentioning Jesus so much because it's like southerns are more Jesus. I feel like Catholics are more about like God and guilt.
00:35:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, Catholics aren't really like quoting shit all the time.
00:35:51
Speaker 2: Know. But then of course she goes to like such a Nashville suburban cool mega church she gets rebaptized.
00:36:00
Speaker 1: Well, okay, the insane part where she's just like someone told me that, like, you need to find a way to relate to God. So I was like, I wish that God just was wearing Chuck.
00:36:08
Speaker 2: Taylors and had tattoos.
00:36:11
Speaker 1: And then I went to a New Life Baptist Mysavandelical whatever church and I couldn't believe it. The pastor had Chuck.
00:36:19
Speaker 2: Taylor, can you believe it? And you know he was the most Nashville like, scary Keith urban looking like faux hawk guy. But then the pastor. She texts him and she gets vulnerable and she's like, I'm having problems with Hi. I'm getting over my ex. And then he sends her a shirtless.
00:36:36
Speaker 1: Selfie in his personal home sauna, which is so fucked up a pastor who she trusted, and she was like, I thought i'd trust to God. If this is what God was, I didn't want any part of it. And I'm kind of like, well, can we see the selfie?
00:36:51
Speaker 2: Seriously, like can we have a photo? So she leaves that like New Life Baptist ministry, but obviously joins like another scary suburban Nashville church and get baptized. And there is a chapter here she's like, wait, you guys, let's like talk about God for a second. After she's been talking about God for this whole book, and she's like, I got baptized, and I wanted Jolye and Chase to see.
00:37:13
Speaker 1: Wait do you have the part of it where she's teasing the kids to pray And she's like every night, like, oh, they pray.
00:37:18
Speaker 2: In like a different way. And she's like and Jase will pray for his doggies and his like, and she's like, you can pray to whoever you want.
00:37:26
Speaker 1: And like Jase always says, like the end, at the end of his prayer, which is so cute, I actually.
00:37:32
Speaker 2: Did pray last night.
00:37:34
Speaker 1: I did, yeah, because I was reading this book in bed.
00:37:37
Speaker 2: Genesis fifty twenty. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
00:37:45
Speaker 1: That's actually what I went. I said that verbatim.
00:37:49
Speaker 2: I just say, like, the only time I think I really prayed is like when I've had like horrible like food poisoning or diarrhea.
00:37:55
Speaker 1: Yeah. You come in times of need.
00:37:56
Speaker 2: Yes, and I need to come in times of gratitude. Yes.
00:38:00
Speaker 1: You need to build up a little bit.
00:38:01
Speaker 2: Of a build up.
00:38:03
Speaker 1: A reserve of gratitude of God so that He lives up for you in times of needs.
00:38:08
Speaker 2: And he in his car Heart, double knee pants, new edition Oasis, Sambas and wife.
00:38:18
Speaker 1: Please her will listen to me. I want to just talk briefly about her writing style. It is maybe one of not going to say, least literate, but it's one of the.
00:38:27
Speaker 2: Profound for sure.
00:38:28
Speaker 1: Maybe it is one of the least literate. I don't know the way that she describes things almost kind of shocking. Here's the sentence. I have a tattoo of an ampersand the typographic symbol for and tattooed on my arm for a reason. I'm like, who are you explaining what the definition of ampersand is for the typographic symbol for? And I think it's for It's because she being like all my Christian mamas, like they may not know about this fancy symbol.
00:39:00
Speaker 2: I think it's for the Christian mamas. And then this begins a whole her Romanian fans. Yeah, that's true, and maybe like ampersan, that's not how we say it in Romania. The writing style is in a way I think she is trying to mix which this is what I think she's going for. Conversational journal, Christian chicken soup for the love attic soul.
00:39:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely Christian. Because she says she's been revealing, but she's always just been like the signs it's because she's not actually even been that revealing. She just says that, like she just found a message in her husband's scent box, and she's like, by the way, I always look the scent messages too.
00:39:42
Speaker 2: What's I feel like the most Justica Simpson about it, and like chicken soup for the soul is like the examples feel like you're watching dramatic re enactments on like the Oxygen Channel. Yes, like it's all just like scenes of man's grabbing a gun or like smoking a cigar and a hussy coming up to him.
00:40:03
Speaker 1: It's blurry. There's definitely, it's everything is a blurry react. It's always like the drawer opened and I pulled out the gun case, or.
00:40:12
Speaker 2: She's like my husband's after you know, she didn't trust him. She would be like he said he just wanted to go with his friends and smoke a cigar, but I didn't trust him. And I'm imagining again, like honestly, a scene from One Tree Hill that's like a redheaded woman in a bikini being like, come back to my place and him being like, oh, yeah, you're smoking and you just see like a flip phone being like I'll be home later, and her being like.
00:40:41
Speaker 1: Oh and you see like a girl in wedges with blonde hair laughing and she gets into a camaro. This is my favorite line of the book. I have loved sunsets my entire life. I am sure they are a message from God, and this one was as sure as I'm from God as I've ever seen. Sunsets are a visual reminder of a day ending period.
00:41:08
Speaker 2: Period Sunsets are a time of a day. And so I'm just seeing some of my notes here and I forgot this. Probam, She goes Maria Minuna's grab me after my divorce was final.
00:41:19
Speaker 1: No, I mean if you don't get a hug from manunas after a divorce.
00:41:23
Speaker 2: No, it's not a divorce. It's not a divorce.
00:41:25
Speaker 1: Also, so there are chapter headings in this book, and there are like quotes that being in the chapter headings multiple times. There is a quote from the film Under the Tuscan Sun as one of the chapter heads.
00:41:37
Speaker 2: That's just like Frances, you need to get divorced, no.
00:41:40
Speaker 1: One of them. That's like remarkable things can happen even late in the game.
00:41:45
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And then she says it like Francis mays under the Tusk and.
00:41:50
Speaker 1: Sun, Like she's fucking quoting like Gabriel.
00:41:54
Speaker 2: Literally will go to for I know the plans I have for you, Jeremiah. I love it. She's pulling stuff out of the Bible. That's very The third Testament, like I know that doesn't exist, but.
00:42:05
Speaker 1: It's very like Testament.
00:42:07
Speaker 2: It's a very like new churches that have extra books. You know what I'm saying. What we're calling.
00:42:14
Speaker 1: Extra books's where they're getting to the Book of Josh.
00:42:17
Speaker 2: Quotes like Under the test and Sun Michelle Obama Feesians like all in the same page. And she's like, as Michelle Obama said, when they go low, we go high. But as Jodi Picou said in her book, as the page turned, but when Jeremiah said, And.
00:42:34
Speaker 1: That's why I do think it's important to compare Under to the Bible because they are literally important.
00:42:40
Speaker 2: It's also the most amazing divorce movie.
00:42:45
Speaker 1: I mean that movie is the one of the most movie inspiring films of all time. Blows Eat Play Live out of the.
00:42:50
Speaker 2: Water, Oh my God, because it's like, yes, try to get water working in a villa. Try.
00:42:57
Speaker 1: There's just this way where she says things like I don't know, she is completely insane, Like the point when the therapist is like, one time, my therapists like in order to help my husband, like better imagine our couples, therapists told us an analogy one time that always helped me when it came to healing. He told us to picture that my ex was driving a car and crashed the car so horribly that my injuries included losing both of my legs. He looked at my ex and said, you wouldn't just tell her to move on and forget about it, would you?
00:43:24
Speaker 2: She lost her legs.
00:43:25
Speaker 1: It's like, that's helpful to you imagining you lost both of your legs in a car accident. That's just a metaphor you returned to regularly.
00:43:35
Speaker 2: I mean, some people need you know. That slap in the face so fucking crazy. Honestly, I was thinking and like, I read this interview on Jesus talks dot com between her and my ex when they were still together, and it's so tense. We're basically one of them will be asked a question and he starts off the interview by being like, for example, we got in an argument this morning and this book is about like healing this. And you're like, okay, so you were fighting before leaving the home. They're like, did you give Jason snack? We have an interview at five with Jesus Talks online dot com slash podcast.
00:44:14
Speaker 1: Did you see the talking points I sent over for you to talk about how we fight good and then.
00:44:19
Speaker 2: They'll respond to each other in the Jesus talks being like, well said, honey, do you call your lover honey? That seems like for parents, Honey, I feels strange for me, And that's just personal, honey, feels strange to me.
00:44:33
Speaker 1: Strained, Oh, strained. I guess if I do say it, there's like a hint of self awareness that I am doing a little bit of a performative kind of honey, old fashioned. Okay, Honey, Sweetie. I mean I call him sweetie a lot and again, but you know, names I think are always like a little bit performative, of course, you know. I mean, babe is like so millennial and fun, right, babe, Babe, babe.
00:44:57
Speaker 2: Because that's when you say, like you want something, Babe, can you give me a water?
00:45:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, babe, did you book the tickets? But it's eighties and zero, right, because millenn eighties are back, Well, the eighties are back, and we're children of.
00:45:10
Speaker 2: The eighties, eighties babies.
00:45:12
Speaker 1: I'm a nineties baby and an eighties Mercedes and an eighties baby without a Mercedes. Ultimately, thank you so.
00:45:17
Speaker 2: Much for being in my queendom. By the way, oh my god, and you know I am there.
00:45:21
Speaker 1: Whenever you need to sign those divorce papers. I will be waiting for you on the bench in your second closet.
00:45:28
Speaker 2: At one point, and I will do this for you. One of the members of her queendom goes up to quote unquote my ex with she says a something like a twenty by sixty blow up photo of their wedding photos. Okay, it's so crazy. It's like very group on massive canvas print out goes up to him and goes, you're throwing it all away? Did you really want to do this? Did you really want to do this time?
00:45:59
Speaker 1: This is actually crazy, these seeds. So when in orlanda to play a show, I looked in Sawdust as a number that, when googled, were not places that a married man should be dialing. So it's like one of the times she finds out to these t My ex was staying at our neighbors during our first split, and Sarah was the girl who marched up the street to see him. She brought along a sixty by thirty inch wedding photo of us and said to him, how could you mess this up? I'll never forget sweet little Sarah carrying that Shutterfly framed canvas as she hiked up iron Wood Drive.
00:46:33
Speaker 2: Thirty by sixty shutterfly? Are you by sixty Shutterfly? I mean, because you know their house is massive, blown up photos of them and the kids and Christmas and Michigan and his football career and her album thirty one? Yeah, taking that off the wall? How could you her?
00:46:51
Speaker 1: Her like certified bronze album.
00:46:57
Speaker 3: Segments sixteen, How does she live?
00:47:08
Speaker 1: How does she wear?
00:47:09
Speaker 2: What does she eat?
00:47:11
Speaker 1: What does she eats?
00:47:13
Speaker 2: Not much? Its She is cooking for her kids from Cavalari's cookbook and is making them like sweet potato fries.
00:47:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, because she's heard of healthy stuff. I mean, she's also just been so nasty and like Hormel. She's like not going to the deli because she's weirded out by asking for them to make her So she's buying that like pre package where it's called like deli style ham for the kid sandwiches.
00:47:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not buying Hormel. She's not as like Applegate, I think is Kristen and more like.
00:47:42
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. She is the deli style like she is Hormel.
00:47:46
Speaker 2: Right, just maybe like one step above.
00:47:49
Speaker 1: Just deal with it.
00:47:49
Speaker 2: She's Hormel, she's not buying Hormel, but she's Kroger. She's said that's her old bibecue. But I think four hundred dollars purse.
00:47:59
Speaker 1: I don't think even doing Applegate. I don't know.
00:48:02
Speaker 2: Maybe she's just like more craft.
00:48:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's getting baby Bell Jesus for the kids who love their baby Bell.
00:48:08
Speaker 2: And like she's having sushi on a girl's night out on Broadway.
00:48:13
Speaker 1: Can't you see her?
00:48:14
Speaker 2: Just I don't like sushi, chicken sushi, Chi sushi.
00:48:19
Speaker 1: She's chicken sushi. Does she drink because she said at the bounce Castle party she said grabs a drink, But like, is she grabbing like a lemonade?
00:48:31
Speaker 2: She does, because she says on nights where I just wanted to wine's huge glass of Josh.
00:48:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's very cougartown in that way.
00:48:43
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's like Costa Migo's water ice she likes, or it's red wine. But I think she is.
00:48:53
Speaker 1: Like a nice hot glass of cab and then.
00:48:55
Speaker 2: Is like, go for a run. Don't have a hot glass of cab? Then how does she It's like so storage like everything, it's like little containers of chips put into another piece.
00:49:07
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's also very like Studio McGee in this way where it's just like such.
00:49:11
Speaker 2: A white old and like white and it's.
00:49:15
Speaker 1: Actual snowstorm in there. You can't see anything, and it's like there's a cream rug on the carpeted interior closet of her like second guest bedroom. Yeah, that has so many like benches in the closet and like underlighting.
00:49:27
Speaker 2: Except she mentions does she mentioned having a laundry room with her like interior designer, and they have a massive cross nailed.
00:49:34
Speaker 1: They have like a custom channel leer that looks exactly the same as like a non custom him. It's like such a cage.
00:49:40
Speaker 2: The end of the book is her buying like a nearby farm close to her other house and being like I built in a screened and porch just for me off of my walking closet. It's again more closets.
00:49:57
Speaker 1: Closets and laundry room.
00:49:58
Speaker 2: Yes, that's like upper laundry sheet laundry.
00:50:02
Speaker 1: And there is like a hanging framed sign that says SuDS in the.
00:50:07
Speaker 2: In the SuDS at home, wash up love SuDS. Does she wear like she is a little tank means it's swayed booties. It's Christian girl Autumn. I mean on the cover she's laughing, black tank top.
00:50:23
Speaker 1: She's a little bit more. I'm an interesting girl.
00:50:26
Speaker 2: She's a flint.
00:50:28
Speaker 1: By wearing this kind of ass is watchings and a flannel tight around her waist, and the.
00:50:31
Speaker 2: Flannel tied around her waist on the cover of her book is saying like, I'm interesting.
00:50:36
Speaker 1: I'm on that, I'm interesting. I have two country albums. But she's wearing so much thin uncommon James jewelry and stettle backs bracelets, just like you can't be a woman and not have stack bracelets now.
00:50:47
Speaker 2: And I think she's sometimes throwing on a massive brunch chat for chicken sushi.
00:50:52
Speaker 1: For chicken sushi, and then she's like, but I realized that that hat was a way of me hiding yes.
00:50:58
Speaker 2: And so I took off the hat and I ran and I just ram, who are you in the book? I think you're Pamelin.
00:51:04
Speaker 1: I'm there. I'm not letting your ex go into the master And I'm sitting on like the foyer bench and the upstairs foyer, like both outside the laundry room, like.
00:51:16
Speaker 2: A sign that says like fold them up, boys, you're going to Ireland.
00:51:23
Speaker 1: No, we are going to Ireland.
00:51:26
Speaker 2: Not coming in this closet.
00:51:28
Speaker 1: It's not your steventh closet anymore.
00:51:31
Speaker 2: I am I.
00:51:32
Speaker 1: Mean, are you just another member of the queen?
00:51:35
Speaker 2: I was like, am I Seth being like damn, this bitch is crazy.
00:51:41
Speaker 1: And you're like such a good dad, like at a bounce house. I don't think that you would be like, let's go in the bounce castle together. I think you would be like, I'm getting not just in there.
00:51:49
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm grabbing a drink. Okay. Am I Aaron Opera? I think I'm Sophia Bush, like I'm on set with her, and I'm like by the bird.
00:52:00
Speaker 1: You're like literally by the bird the bird.
00:52:02
Speaker 2: But like I'm never talking to her again.
00:52:04
Speaker 1: That's true.
00:52:06
Speaker 2: It's hard.
00:52:07
Speaker 1: I'm like, in many ways, this is one of the worst books I've ever read, but it's also one of the funniest books I've ever had.
00:52:12
Speaker 2: I know, it's one of the best. I had so much fun reading it. I was cracking up, like I was screaming, laughing, saying like whiskey, golf and guns. Yeah, it's closets thirteen foot Christmas tree feeding.
00:52:25
Speaker 1: Would ranch bebecue grill. I don't know, Janna. You know you're a tough one. Your career is so random, and I'm so glad you continue to work. And I don't know. Those two hours that I watched One Tree Hill last night were some.
00:52:39
Speaker 2: Of the most beautiful. And I listened to all of your album thirty one last night.
00:52:44
Speaker 1: I was listening to her music though the other day and I was like, I don't know, it is so Christian and boring, beyond that one.
00:52:50
Speaker 2: Song, beyond I've Got the Boy, but also.
00:52:51
Speaker 1: Because I just also listened to Morgan Wayne's album, which is so good and good, like.
00:52:55
Speaker 2: Literally I'm like crying from Morgan Wades.
00:52:58
Speaker 1: And I'm kind of like Jana. I don't like she's a great mom. She's a great give her a four out of five, four out of five Lincoln Navigator, like seven minute car rides to school as a mom.
00:53:11
Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna lie because you don't need this. I'm going to say three point seven thirteen feet Christmas trees out of thirty one years a fe.
00:53:25
Speaker 1: Open up an Excel spreadsheet into the map, Thank you for your country, an amen, Amen, best best praise.
00:53:38
Speaker 2: Be to my queen and producer Darby Masters, who not only took my kids in on New Year's Eve when I wanted to have a date for the first time after my divorce, but has stood by me whether we're on the couch drinking red wine or running errands at Loew's in the Greater National.
00:54:00
Speaker 1: I would also like to give a special good Christian shout out to my supervising producer Abu Zafar, who personally baptized my second son, Chrayson in his farm sank Thank you about praise be to our executive producer Christina Everett and all of the work that she does in his name on this earth.
00:54:27
Speaker 2: And of course you know we love music because the Lord gave us music. So I want to thank to my sister, my Queen, Stephen Lynn phillipsina host Jason Crawford for doing the theme song.
00:54:42
Speaker 1: I want to shout out to our former dearly departed member of our Queendom prologue projects. Sometimes relationships don't work out, but what happens on the other side in the next chapter is even more beautiful, and we thank them for being so strong and willing to evolve with us on that journey that we are continuing to evolve towards.
00:55:07
Speaker 2: I love seeing them at my kids, Jason Line and Crayson soccer games.
00:55:12
Speaker 1: They are so supportive. They are always there with both beer and non alcoholic beer. I like to do a mix of both half and half.
00:55:22
Speaker 2: Shout out to Shutterfly artists Eddie Blanks for saying yes, I will actually leave my job in HR and follow my passion that Christ gave me in painting and graphics design period.
00:55:37
Speaker 1: Please, if you would like to hear more of the Word of God, go to patron Our Concepts, CBC the Pod to hear another sermon every Friday for the rest of your life. Amen.
00:55:47
Speaker 2: Amen,
