From Guns, Gangs, and Prison to Peace, Purpose, and Parenting with Isaac Ortiz

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Hello, everybody.
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Welcome back to the Parent Whisperer Podcast.
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I'm Richard Ramos, your host.
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Today I have a special guest that I want to introduce you to.
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But before I introduce him to you, I also want to talk a little bit about you've heard me mention that Parents on a Mission is impacting the lives of incarcerated parents.
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I've had some people talk about that in recent or past podcast interviews that I've done.
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But this has been one of the highlights of my career of being able to see the impact that Parents on a Mission has had with people that have been incarcerated.
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And a lot of people don't understand or even know that 68 to 70% of people that are incarcerated are parents.
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And so when they get out, normally organizations that try to help them, they're thinking about they need a job, obviously, and then they need a place to live.
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But they don't often always think about their kids and the fact that they're parents and maybe they haven't seen their kids or they haven't had contact with them or maybe they have, but they haven't been able to be together physically.
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Either they're talking to them maybe in a visitation room or maybe over a video or maybe over a phone or maybe they're writing letters back and forth.
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You know, sometimes that happens.
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So everybody has a different experience.
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But when I was given the opportunity in the jail in Lerdo in Bakersfield, California, I was given an opportunity there to train staff from the organization Garden Pathways that you've heard me mention before.
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And their staff was able to go into the jail and teach the curriculum to some of the inmates that are there.
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This has been happening for years now, several years.
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And then I had the opportunity to do the same thing in Colorado.
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And I trained two, three hundred, about two, two to three hundred staff members of all the different prisons in Colorado.
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And at one time, Parents on a Mission was in every prison in Colorado.
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It was being taught.
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Yes, I'm a single mom.
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I have three children.
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One of my children I gave up for adoption when I was 17, and then I have two daughters who are five and six.
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I've felt like giving up a lot of times I'm battling for my kids right now.
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Made a lot of mistakes as a father to my kids.
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So I don't care about a way to make the cycle.
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They can't see you, they can't free you into vain.
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Hi, I'm Richard Ramos.
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I'm the author and founder of Parents on a Mission.
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And I've been working with families and youth for over 30 years trying to help parents prevent their children from going down the wrong road.
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Our mission is to turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children back to their parents as the best method for preventing children from joining negative lifestyle.
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My kids grew up in a visiting room trying to parent them from prison.
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And then getting to the point, like what Jeski says, where before when they were younger, I love you, Danny missed you.
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And now to where the anger is coming out of you haven't been there.
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And my name is Stephanie Harwood.
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Miss Harwood, since the moment she stepped grounds on this facility, has had a very angry heart and a very resentful attitude towards anyone and everyone.
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It didn't matter who you were.
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I was 15, a family friend beat and raped me really bad.
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That's when I started to really hate myself, thinking something was wrong with me.
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I wasn't a good mom.
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I've taken probably three parenting classes and I've been in prison for five years.
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This class actually taught me how to be a mom, not how to raise a child, but to actually be a mom, and that's something that I needed.
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And for somebody like Misayala to actually care enough about us and to help and fight us.
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To be a part of her seeing her son for the first five years was probably the most phenomenal thing in my life.
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Because I can't even imagine what it would feel like your kid.
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When they bring something like parents on a mission to a place like this, it gives people avenues to be able to understand their kids and understand how families are supposed to be ran and gives them some type of structure to go back to their families and share their structure with their families.
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A lot of us never really had structure.
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All right.
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So that's just a little clip of a documentary that I did.
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You can watch the full documentary if you want to on my website at RichardRamos.com.
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It's there.
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But now I want to introduce you to a young man that I recently met through the Parents on Emission program.
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His name is Isaac Ortiz.
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He's a devoted husband and proud father of five children, three daughters and two sons.
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Drawing from his own experiences with incarceration, re-entry, and gang involvement, Isaac now serves as a mentoring specialist, supporting adults who are working to rebuild their lives and make positive changes.
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Isaac has experienced approximately 10 years in and out of incarceration, and he has transformed those challenges into a passion for helping others.
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He is currently a senior at California State University Bakersfield, majoring in psychology and plans to graduate in spring of 2027.
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He received the 2023 Hidden Gold Award from Heart of the Country, annual fundraising event held by Garden Pathways, where two mentees are recognized for their transformation.
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Isaac, congratulations and welcome to the program.
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Thank you, Richard.
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It's a pleasure.
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It's been a blessing and it's been a journey.
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Yeah, so tell us a little bit about your background there that I read.
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I'm sure when you saw that video, you could relate to that.
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Yeah, it's it took me back watching a video to I was I took parents on a mission in an erdo.
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An erdo actually when the farm was still being operated.
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But prior to that, I remember just going in and out of the beating and in and out of the system to the point where I was coming from a abusive, just abusive background.
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Or growing up as a kid, my dad was real abusive, always beating me.
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Any chance he got, he was hitting me.
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He was a semi-pro musician.
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So every when his music career started taking off, we got the buttons of that stick.
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If a dude didn't go right, we were getting beat.
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He came home drunk, we were getting beat, came home high, we were getting beat.
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And it got into the point where on one Christmas Eve, he was he had come home drunk and had beat me and my brother for two hours where the cops were called.
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And I remember that Christmas Eve, a day were we were expecting to open up gifts.
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We're like we're getting saved by the cops.
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And at the time of that incident, my mom was also incarcerated.
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So I at that moment I was happy because I was like, Yes, I could go with my mom or my grandma.
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So when they call my grandma, I'm like, hey, mom in Vegas, I can't come get them.
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And they're like, Where are your mom?
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Where's your mom at?
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And we're like, she's in Lerdo, we can't see her, but my grandma could come back for us, I promise.
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So, but despite our cries, they're like, No, we're just gonna take you into custody, and you guys are gonna go through the foster system, you guys will be at Jameson Center.
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So me and my brother both went into the system on Christmas Eve, and we stood in foster care until about June of 20, 2009.
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And how old were you at the time?
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At the time, I was 11.
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I was 11, and by the time I got out of foster care, I was like about 14, roughly about 14, 15.
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And that's when my mom had sobered up to get me back out of it.
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And of course, thinking everything was gonna be good.
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I was like, okay, I'm back with my mom, I'm happy.
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But little did I know that's when all the gangs and all the violence would be introduced to me.
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Because there's an incident where my mom was beat nearly to death in front of me, to the point where I couldn't I felt so defenseless and useless, like I couldn't defend her to the point where I was like, okay, I got cousins from a neighborhood, so I'm gonna go talk to them, see what we could do.
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And that led to another thing.
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And keep in mind the whole time I'm going through this process, I'm like, man, mom, why do you do this?
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Like, why are all these people out of house?
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You just got me out of foster care, mom.
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Why are you selling drugs?
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And every answer I got was, hey, that's how you got your clothes on your back, right?
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That's how you got the shoes you want, right?
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It's how you got your bike, right?
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And everything I'm doing, I'm fighting against it.
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But mom, I don't like this, I don't like fighting, I don't want to do nothing.
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I don't want nothing to do with this lifestyle.
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So always being met with that, eventually, you know, as it says, you become what you hang out with, right?
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And I remember just shortly after that, I was like, hey man, my life's not getting any easier.
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I need backup, so I'm just gonna join the neighborhood.
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So I joined the neighborhood from there.
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My mom started showing me how to sell drugs, and then she finally eventually got to the point where she started buying me guns, and the whole and everything else started piling up on top of it.
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Before I knew it, by the time I was a senior in high school, I was a full, full-blown gang member, calling shots, selling drugs.
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The teachers are telling me, Isaac, you're gonna be a family man.
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No, you got better in life, and I'm just like, man, bro, you don't know my life outside of this.
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But look, Isaac, you got something better.
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You're gonna have five kids, you're gonna have a wife.
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So while so while you were doing the drugs and selling drugs and in the gang and gangbagging, you were still going to school.
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Yes, that I found school to be my secret way out because I had a teacher named Mr.
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Tennis.
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And it's funny because he comes later in the picture, too.
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But I remember every time I walked in his class for home room, there he is, that's my family guy.
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This and I'm like, man, bro, only if you knew I have a gun in my car right now, like I have a gun at home waiting for me.
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And you know, as long as I'm done with school, I'm gonna go back to what I'm doing.
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But he always spoke that over me.
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He's like, Man, Isaac, that's my family man right there.
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He's gonna have five kids.
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And sure enough, I have five kids.
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Wow, so that's amazing.
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Go ahead, go ahead.
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So I was like, Man, so later on, as soon as my senior year came, I really never completed high school, I ended up just dropping out because I was not selling drugs, was bringing in enough money to make a living.
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And this led into my first case.
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So where I call it the domino effect because at first my mom's house got raided.
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And but we and they found a I want to say they found maybe they found I can't remember if it was meth or heroin.
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They they found something in the house to the what to the point where they took one of the guys in custody.
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So a week later, not thinking nothing about it, they end up reading my house where they found three guns and some meth and a weed garden I had going at the time, or marijuana garden.
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And then I remember my mom bailed me out and she goes, Hey, that's just part of the game.
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Let's go keep going.
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And I'm like, mom, can't just go to jail.
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What do you mean?
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At this time, we ended up having we had these problems with these people down the street.
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So I remember on my mom's birthday.
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I'm just telling my mom, mom, I'm like, I'm kind of cool, I want to stay out of everything, I want to stay away from everything.
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But son, that's the game.
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You don't know.
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And this problem just escalated on our birthday.
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So the evening of her birthday, this it escalates to a point where I end up getting in a fight and guns got drawn.
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And next thing you know, sheriffs pulled up, and there's a they're like, hey, we saw a shooting.
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And who did it?
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And I was like, they end up pending me, having me, my mom, and my brother in handcuffs, and I'm like, hey, they're saying you got shot at them.
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Who's shot at them?
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And my mom's like, I'm not going to jail, it's my birthday.
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And that's that betrayal honestly hurt.
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I was like, Oh mom, what the heck?
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You're telling us this is the lifestyle, and now, but then at the end of the day, too, though, I thought it was my responsibility to take the blame for, and because I was the one that actually did it.
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Yeah, so I went to jail, and everything happened, and the cops are like, Hey, Isaac, we respect your honesty.
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Now many people are gonna tell a cop that they pulled a trigger on somebody in front of in front of us.
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And I was like, Yeah, so what don't how much time do you think I'm looking at?
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And they're like, We're going to prison for sure.
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But how long we don't know, we can't tell you, we're not a judge.
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But thank God I only I got blessed, and I only got five years, and signing for the gun charges on that case.
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But I remember during that charges.
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To be clear, in this gun, you didn't kill somebody, you shot at somebody.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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So thank God every nobody was really hurt.
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Nobody was just it was just a chaotic scene that sounds more drastic than it really was.
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But during that term, I remember this guy invited me to a Bible study, and he goes, Isaac, you're not what these streets say you are, you have a heart, you're not what these streets tell you, you have a heart.
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All those things spoken over you, and I just remember just breaking down the tears.
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And so I went up, I just broke down the tears, and like, yeah, and that's something I needed to hear in the midst of all this.
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So as that progressed, I remember going forward to the mainline, and now I'm closer to my outdate.
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And I remember this brother, he was from LA, he walked up to me and goes, Brother Isaac.
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And I knew this was from God because I was like, Wait, why is he calling me by Isaac?
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He's not calling me by my street name.
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He's like, Brother Isaac, I'm gonna tell you, if you don't take your Bible, you're gonna be right back.
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So my release date comes, guess what I did?
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I looked at my Bible, ah, I'm good, I don't need it.
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And so I left it, and sure enough, I go back to my mom's, and now my mom's doing things even bigger.
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Wow.
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Little do I know, little do I know my mom has Gang Unit watching her now.
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She has all these different agencies spying on her, watching her.
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And we per me being on parole, I kept telling my mom, hey mom, is it safe to go to your house?
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I'm talking to this, I'm talking to someone, they want to meet at your house.
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Is it okay if I meet there?
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And my mom said, Yeah, you're good, you're good.
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Everything's put away, I don't have anything now.
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Mom, this and that.
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So 30 30 days later, they raid the house.
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And they end up turning up heroin, meth, and the gun.
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And gang units now, hey, you have priors, Isaac, so we're gonna get cheap for all this.
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And this is what at the conference, when I told you when I took prints on the mission, I was mad at my mom, was because of this case.
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Okay, yeah.
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But I remember but I remember when the case happened, I was just like, man, god, this is gonna be my life now.
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This sucks.
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I was really trying to go to the beach.
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Like I really was planning to go to the beach.
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This I was finally getting with somebody else gonna get me away from everything.
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And just like that, everything was stripped for me.
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So I remember just sitting there and my mom bailed out, her boyfriend belled out, and then like somebody calling my brother, like, hey, how come I'm not bailed out?
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Like, oh hey, they said you had no bail.
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I don't know, why?
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They say because they got you for violation.
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So there I was going through the court dates, my mom and her boyfriend were out of custody while my shak was and I'm like, this sucks.
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It was like it was an embarrassing moment, but at the end of the day, I thank God for that moment because that was one of my biggest blessings.
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Because it was that term that's when I finally ran in, I ended up signing for the six-year split.
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But I remember when I did that, I was like, man, I don't want to go to prison, I want to stay in county.
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So they're like, do two years in, you'll do two years out, but the two years turned into four years.
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I don't know how that worked, but all I know is what I all I know is when I was done, they're like, hey, you have a six-year sentence.
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I said, Can you just stay clean?
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So I was like, okay.
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But I remember that time I I was on the I landed in the farm and they're like, hey, you should take palm class.
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I'm like, what's palm class?
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They're like, yeah, palm, POM.
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I'm like, what's that?
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That gives you a kick.
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So this is all I know about palms that gives you a kick.
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And then keep in mind I was like, okay, and they're like, it's parents on a mission.
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But I'm like, I don't have kids right now.
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They don't need kids, they you just have to be young enough to take it.
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You fall in a gap, you're 18 to 24.
00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:11.440
Okay, so finally I did about seven months in that term, and then they call me up, they're hey Ortiz, you're interested in a prompt class or starting a cohort in the I wanna say it was like February of 2017, 2018.
00:17:12.240 --> 00:17:13.839
And I was like, Yeah, send me up.
00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:19.039
And so the first day I get there, me and my best friend Tanner rest in peace.
00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:23.440
At Lino, we're like, hey, like, we're just gonna finish this class and get out, man.
00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:24.480
All right, cool.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:25.119
That's the deal.
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:27.119
We're gonna finish this class and get out.
00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:31.920
And how long the parents on admission classes, how long were they at the time?
00:17:32.160 --> 00:17:34.319
At the time, I believe it was a six-week class.
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:35.519
Six weeks, okay.
00:17:35.839 --> 00:17:40.240
That was a six-week class, and it's funny because that's when I met my current coordinator.
00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:45.279
Prior, he was my mentor once I got out, but he was now he's my coordinator.
00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:49.759
Cool, and then and then Diane Barentos was also teaching a class with Daniel Lopez.
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:53.920
So they're like, hey man, you know, one thing always stood out in the first class.
00:17:54.000 --> 00:18:07.279
I was like, Hey, you don't know who's looking up to you, you don't know if it's a niece or nephew, because the whole time I was watching, I was taking this class, I didn't know I had two little my stepdaughters, or my actual daughters, I didn't know that they were actually looking up to me at this time of life.
00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:09.920
I didn't even know they remembered me.
00:18:10.640 --> 00:18:13.759
But they're like, Yeah, dad, my dad, I want my dad.
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:21.119
So I was taking this whole class not knowing I have two two girls looking up to me, and that's how that was a unique experience to figure out just recently.
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:22.319
Wow, yeah.
00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:28.400
But I remember just going through the class and they're like, hey man, okay, we're gonna take you, we're gonna pick you up.
00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:33.119
And this kick was because it was really a we get a kick once we completed the class.
00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:37.440
And I'm like, man, I still got three months after this class, I don't think they're gonna come pick me up.
00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:39.599
They're yeah, we're gonna pick you up.
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.720
So sure enough, we get picked up and go home.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.359
And they're like, What are you taking a class?
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:49.599
And uh the the mission statement, turn your heart to your parent.
00:18:50.319 --> 00:18:59.359
That kind of resonated with me because as mad as I was when I at my mom when I took that class, it really taught me like, okay, if I want my family to change, I have to turn my heart to my mom.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:05.279
And it was hard at the time because I remember during that time my mom was even worse than her addiction when I got out.
00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:23.839
Yeah, let me just clarify for people that are listening and watching that don't know the parents on a mission, our mission statement is to turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents as the best method for preventing children from joining negative lifestyles.
00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:34.079
So, what uh Isaac is talking about is the part where it says turning your heart, the hearts of children towards your parents, which is really about forgiveness.
00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:36.160
So go ahead, Isaac.
00:19:36.480 --> 00:19:45.200
Yeah, so forgiving my mom was childing to that situation because I looked at my mom and was like, man, mom, I took a case for you guys, and you just got worse than your addiction.
00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:46.559
I don't even have a phone.
00:19:46.640 --> 00:19:47.759
I literally lost everything.
00:19:47.839 --> 00:19:49.839
I lost my ex-partner at the time.
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:54.480
Nobody wanted to hang out with me because they said up everywhere I'm going, their houses are getting hit.
00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:58.240
And I was just like, Man, what's going on here?
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:03.759
And I remember at that time, that's when I started tattooing my face because I really thought that was gonna be my life.
00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:11.680
But during that time, I remember Dan, he made a statement, he goes, Isaac, if you don't decide to come back, we're always gonna be open for you.
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:14.960
So when you're ready, just come back, we'll help you change.
00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:16.960
Because of course, that time I didn't come back.
00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:21.359
I was so caught up with my mom's addiction, the lifestyle of everything going on.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:27.039
And I thought it was I honestly thought it was okay because now we're introduced to the smoke shop scene.
00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:31.599
Now we have all these different smoke shops, we got fast money, so we're like, hey, who needs a job?
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:35.200
A little I know I needed a job, and thank God it.
00:20:36.160 --> 00:20:43.920
But I think it was, and then the reason why I brought up the smoke shop scene was because of Tanner, my best friend I took that class with.
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:49.759
Amber Tanner Blinkenship, one day we were working in the smoke shops and ended up doing the job that I was doing watching the door.
00:20:50.640 --> 00:20:57.039
And I remember right before he passed away, he had went to my mom's house and he goes, Hey, so Isaac, I said I love him.
00:20:58.079 --> 00:21:00.319
And I'm like, and I'm like, what the heck?
00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:00.960
Why is he saying that?
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:03.839
My mom's like, Yeah, it's weird, he never calls you by your name.
00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:06.799
And then a day later, we get the news that he was killed.
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:08.079
He was killed in a stab.
00:21:08.799 --> 00:21:09.519
Wow, yeah.
00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:11.680
And I remember back to our prompt classes.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:14.640
He I remember what Tanner was shared, it goes, Yeah, bro, it's true.
00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:17.119
All our kids are different, they have different personalities.
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:19.440
He's I started laughing, I'm like, that's true, huh?
00:21:19.519 --> 00:21:22.000
You get around a lot of kids, they do have first different personalities.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:25.039
I'm like, how do you get how do you get along with your daughters?
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:26.079
Because he had daughters.
00:21:26.240 --> 00:21:28.000
I'm like, how do you get along when you don't disagree?
00:21:28.240 --> 00:21:30.480
He goes, Man, I'm not gonna lie, I wrote a letter.
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:32.079
It really worked.
00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:36.799
And so when he passed away, the first thing that came to mind was dang parents on the mission.
00:21:36.880 --> 00:21:38.240
I need to get back to garden pathways.
00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:46.240
And they get back to garden pathways, and sure enough, today it was that same month, two of my other friends died on the same day.
00:21:46.400 --> 00:21:47.519
One was killed.
00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:52.400
Wow, killed, was shot and killed at as he exited an apartment, and one was left in the orchards.
00:21:52.640 --> 00:21:55.359
And then he ended up becoming a culture case.
00:21:55.599 --> 00:22:00.960
And I remember after that, I just grabbed my son and I started, and now at the time, now I have Have my own son.
00:22:01.359 --> 00:22:04.079
I was back there with my wife and kids.
00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:13.839
And I remember just getting back with my wife on the scene, and then and when I finally got back with my wife, like I was just like, man, I'm done.
00:22:13.920 --> 00:22:14.640
I want to change.
00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:17.119
Because now she was this is backing up a little while.
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:18.240
She was pregnant.
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:20.880
And she goes, Yeah, now you got a son coming.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:23.599
But now you got these daughters that are looked up to you.
00:22:25.200 --> 00:22:25.440
Okay.
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:30.799
But sure enough, I went one last term, and this last term really did it for me.
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:33.599
And I was like, you know what, man, if that palm, I'm gonna jump on it.
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:36.880
Unfortunately, didn't have it this last time because I went to prison.
00:22:37.440 --> 00:22:40.480
But I remember when I finally got out, I was just like, you know what, man?
00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:44.160
I'm ready to change, and I came back to Garden Pathways.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:45.839
And that's what I had to do with it.
00:22:46.079 --> 00:23:09.680
And that's yeah, that your story just reminds me of so many people that we've had who experienced parents on a mission either while they were incarcerated or after they got out, and they're just totally transformed their life, and because of that, it transformed the life of their children and the family.
00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:12.319
And so that's what what you're describing.
00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:23.359
And now, when you went back to garden pathways, did you go back to take the classes again, or did you go back to get a jet to get hired there?
00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:29.039
When I first joined Garden Pathways, honestly, it was it was through our West Tech class.
00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:32.640
I remember I told my probation officer, I'm like, hey, I want to change, I'm done.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:37.200
I got my wife, I got my kids, not my son.
00:23:37.680 --> 00:23:39.599
And this is this was my last term.
00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:44.400
I really didn't go into details about it, but it was I caught one more term after Tanner passed away.
00:23:44.799 --> 00:23:55.119
And I remember at that moment, I was just life was just hitting me, and I was just like, Man, and I'm looking at my wife because now she's back in the picture, and she goes, Isaac, I knew you since before all this.
00:23:55.279 --> 00:23:58.400
I knew you in high school, I knew you I knew the good you.
00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:02.640
So when I went to Garden Pathways, honestly, I didn't expect to go as far as I did.
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:06.799
Wow, and I remember I just I just went, I'm like, okay.
00:24:07.519 --> 00:24:09.680
And I had to get to a point in my life, I was like, you know what?
00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:10.480
My way's not working.
00:24:10.559 --> 00:24:11.119
Help me, Dan.
00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:12.079
I need help.
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:14.319
He knows, you're in the right spot, my man.
00:24:14.480 --> 00:24:17.119
And from there, everything took off.
00:24:17.200 --> 00:24:17.920
I got work.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:25.519
I was able to renew my I was able to actually get married and renew my vows while seeking services regarding pathways.
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:31.039
And then after that, I think it was towards the end of my mentorship program.
00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:35.920
That's when I finally was like, Hey Dan, I I want to become a mentor.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:38.240
But then that conversation of Pomp came up again.
00:24:38.319 --> 00:24:40.559
He goes, Hey man, were you in this class?
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:46.799
And it's funny because he gave me an actual picture of me in the class with Diane on the side.
00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:47.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.640
And I remember that picture, and I was like, Man, how'd you got this?
00:24:50.720 --> 00:24:51.680
How do you have this picture, man?
00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:52.880
I've been looking for pictures everywhere.
00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:55.440
And then that picture I'm next to my best friend Tanner.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:01.599
Oh, and it's funny because he goes, it's weird because I always kept this picture for some odd reason, but I never keep my pictures from there.
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:04.799
This was a picture of you guys in incarcerated, yeah.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:08.640
And Tanner, your partner, but he ended up passing away.
00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:13.839
So you could so for everybody out there, listen to what Isaac is saying.
00:25:13.920 --> 00:25:18.480
Basically, three things really helped him change his life.
00:25:18.720 --> 00:25:29.680
One was his being introduced to, first of all, getting tired of all the stuff that was going on with him and his mom and just the lifestyle, getting tired of that.
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:37.039
And then, secondly, getting introduced to the classes of parents on a mission in the Lerdo jail.
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:49.440
And then third, having faith in God, where somebody from LA, another inmate, shared with him about faith, so introducing him to having uh a relationship with the Lord.
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:55.519
And then finally, his just his motivation and love for his wife and his children.
00:25:55.680 --> 00:25:58.640
And so now here, Isaac, look at you now.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:02.319
So talk a little bit about what are you doing now at Garden Pathways?
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:04.319
Who do you work with and what do you do?
00:26:04.640 --> 00:26:09.359
So today I'm a mentoring specialist for the adult reentry program side of our organization.
00:26:09.440 --> 00:26:25.039
I pretty much help anybody that's on county supervision, they are released from county jail, such as Lerdo or I like to say it, um, and the people that get in enough trouble to go to CDCR, mini prison, but not enough trouble to come out, come home on parole.
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:28.960
So they're released to post they're released from prison on post-release.
00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.119
So I help a lot of them get back on their feet and just kind of get back on their families.
00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:36.799
Because honestly, I tell people, man, I could only mentor from eight to five.
00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:39.440
The support system is really at home.
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:45.599
And for parents, like I like how you say that statement, it doesn't take a village to raise children, it takes better parenting.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:27:01.920
And it's true because on my case, I can name a good 10 of my clients right now that took a lot of the stuff from parents on the mission that I incorporated in my mentoring, and it made them a lot better parents to the point where they're calling me, like, hey, I finally had dinner with my son.
00:27:02.559 --> 00:27:05.599
I finally got to see my kids again, I finally got custody of my kids again.
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:07.359
Hey, my kid forgave me.
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:10.240
And then I share off my own experience with my oldest daughters.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:18.480
Like some oldest daughters, they knew me enough to see the old me, but they also got to see the ugly me, the ugly side of things.
00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:21.839
So I tell them, and I remember when you shared the story about when you wrote your son a letter.
00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:23.599
Like, man, I wasn't the best at.
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:27.440
I was pretty harsh on punishments and this and that.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:29.200
And I really took that one home.
00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:33.839
And I honestly did it when we did the training with you at our daycare site.
00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:36.720
Yeah, and I that's where I remember you from.
00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:40.720
Isaac was part of what I do, a three-day certification training.
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:54.000
And what that is is organizations, whether they're prisons or jails or nonprofits or school districts or churches, they send their staff members to the three-day certification training.
00:27:54.160 --> 00:28:01.759
And then once they've complete the training, they're certified to now teach parents on a mission to whoever they're working with.
00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:04.160
So Isaac has completed that training.
00:28:04.319 --> 00:28:14.160
Now, have you had a chance, Isaac, to actually teach the classes, or you're just using a lot of the things you learned to help mentor the people that you're are on your client list?
00:28:14.640 --> 00:28:20.559
I honestly had the honor to be able to teach it twice and then stepped in a few other times.
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:22.480
In the jail or in the community?
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:23.519
In the community.
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:24.880
In the community, okay.
00:28:25.119 --> 00:28:29.759
Yeah, and it was a blessing because I gotta share I gotta use a lot of my lived experience with my own daughter.
00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:33.920
How to because it was my oldest daughter, like we had a broken relationship.
00:28:34.079 --> 00:28:40.960
Yeah, when I first got back with my wife, because my daughter's like, man, dad, like you talk to me like you're talking to your homies, you're talking to me like you're politicking.
00:28:41.279 --> 00:28:42.960
I'm your daughter, wake up, Isaac.
00:28:43.200 --> 00:28:44.720
Like, can I scratch my head?
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:45.519
Like, you call me Isaac?
00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:49.759
Yes, your daughter, and stop talking to me like you're politicking.
00:28:49.920 --> 00:28:50.559
I'm not your king.
00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:52.720
So she told that she told you that.
00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:55.680
Yeah, how old was she when she said that?
00:28:55.920 --> 00:28:56.960
She was nine.
00:28:57.200 --> 00:28:58.240
She was nine at the time.
00:28:59.519 --> 00:29:00.160
Imagine that.
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:02.720
See, this happens as you as you know.
00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:04.799
We talk about this in Parents on a Mission.
00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:14.319
I mean, if we're not maturing, we stay in that mentality of that we're not maturing, we're growing older, but we're not growing up, we're not getting mature.
00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:19.759
And a lot of parents make the mistake of they think that the older they get, the more mature they get, and that's not true.
00:29:20.000 --> 00:29:27.200
So here you have as a nine-year-old girl, a little girl like her daughter, telling you, Dad, wake up, don't talk to me that way.
00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:30.319
That cracks and it's funny because it started with her.
00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:33.519
Next to no, my wife chimed it, and my second oldest daughter came in.
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:39.839
And it's funny because I broke and I finally got to a point where I wasn't saying I had with the older girls, and I'm like, you know what?
00:29:39.920 --> 00:29:41.039
I need to write them a letter.
00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:47.759
Because I want, and I told them, so when I wrote the letter, I'm like, hey, I'm sorry, I wasn't the best dad.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:50.799
I'm only as old as my son I have with your mom.
00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:52.480
I'm only my son's six now.
00:29:52.559 --> 00:29:54.160
So I tell him I'm only seven years old.
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:57.440
I'm a year old, older than my son when it comes to parenting.
00:29:57.599 --> 00:30:01.519
Because when I finally settled down and had my family, it was around the time my son was born.
00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:09.359
But that doesn't mean I never looked at you guys as you guys are not my children, because I have your guys', I got your guys' names tattooed for a reason.
00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:14.880
And that moment sparked something big to the point where my daughter looked at me crying, she said, I forgive you, Dad.
00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:16.799
I want to, I'm happy with my dad.
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:22.319
I was like, oh so I remember at that moment, and they're like, damn.
00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:29.039
And so I noticed at those moments, the little moments that took, I can start realizing like, okay, all my kids are different.
00:30:29.279 --> 00:30:31.839
My oldest is clingy, my second oldest is quiet.
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:34.480
My boy, he's into all these anime stuff.
00:30:34.559 --> 00:30:39.440
My little son's a goofball, my baby's a laugh all of joy, laughters.
00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:42.400
And yeah, no, that's that's wonderful.
00:30:42.960 --> 00:30:47.359
And I just I remember when you shared the card you had from your daughter, from your kids.
00:30:47.680 --> 00:30:51.279
Yes, and you're like, and I was like, Man, how do I get that?
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:56.720
And sure enough, I remember after I wrote that letter, I got my card from on Father's Day, yeah.
00:30:56.880 --> 00:31:00.880
And I have a paragraph from every single kid, and I was like, except for my baby, she can't write, yeah.
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:05.279
But of course, I had a whole card full of scribbles, which it's good enough.
00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:06.480
That's enough, man.
00:31:06.799 --> 00:31:18.079
That's how it works because our kids they really appreciate the simple thing of just writing a note or a letter expressing our heart, and then the they follow suit.
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:20.319
And my kids still do that to this day.
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:30.079
They when they give me a card, they don't just give it to me with the printed part of it, they write in it their own thoughts and their own, and I do the same thing.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:41.119
So it's an ongoing thing, but it's a great tool for parents to sometimes we can't express it verbally, we can express how we feel why writing it down.
00:31:41.440 --> 00:31:50.400
Now, let me ask you that so as a mentoring specialist, yeah, you're working directly with men just men, right?
00:31:50.480 --> 00:31:51.119
Not women.
00:31:51.519 --> 00:31:52.319
Both men and women.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.119
Men and women.
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:56.160
Now they're coming out of incarceration.
00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:57.759
Now, are they appointed to you?
00:31:57.839 --> 00:31:59.680
How do you get in touch with them?
00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:03.759
They're usually referred out to us in a number of ways.
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:09.200
Some of the clients come in asking for services, and then their probation officer will send us a referral.
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:13.839
Or in some cases, they'll hear, hey, I heard about garden pathways, I heard a lot of good things about that.
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:20.880
Or then there's now more recently, because I know they they just went into the facility again to teaching parents on the mission.
00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:23.839
We've been getting a lot of clients that taking parents on the mission in custody.
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:30.559
I believe right now on my case old, I have maybe about four or five clients that took parents on the mission that are on my case older now.
00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:32.720
Cool, and all of them are doing good.
00:32:32.880 --> 00:32:36.079
They're like, Man, parents on the mission made me want to come get services from you guys.
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:42.079
And I'm like, and I finally explained like, Wait, well, parents on the mission is another class, but it's we're taught to train it.
00:32:42.240 --> 00:32:44.720
Yeah, and they and they're like, no way.
00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:47.039
So I give and what do you learn from it?
00:32:47.119 --> 00:32:47.920
What do you take from it?
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:58.079
And I leverage how my relationship with my kids and my family were into how we are today, like how we're actively in the church, how we're all actively on the worship team, how we all serve together.
00:32:58.319 --> 00:33:05.119
And it's and I also tell them too like one thing that helped me a lot with my kids was when you're sharing the thought processes.
00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:08.960
Have you ever tell them, hey, do you ever stop to ask your kid what do they think?
00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:09.839
What do they feel?
00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:12.160
Humbling ourselves to our kids.
00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:18.720
Because that was a big one for me, because me personally, as a as a person that was a shot caller, I was like, hey, you do my things my way, right?
00:33:19.440 --> 00:33:21.599
My daughter's like, nah, dad, I don't know.
00:33:22.079 --> 00:33:23.440
We're a family now.
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:26.480
And it's because those moments happen.
00:33:26.559 --> 00:33:37.119
And then but then I think back to when it's friends on a mission, I'm like, oh, yeah, you have to humble yourself to your kids, especially if you want your kids to listen to you, because if they don't have a voice, they're not gonna tell you nothing.
00:33:37.440 --> 00:33:44.240
Yeah, and I think a lot of dads have trouble, and moms too, humbling ourselves, being humble to with our children.
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:57.039
But what we're teaching them there is such an important lesson in life to be have humility with other people, and and that when you're showing humility, it's not weakness, it's strength.
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:03.440
To be able to be humble, especially with children, that's a that takes a lot of strength and a lot of emotional maturity.
00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:14.480
And when parents do that, we're demonstrating to them a way to act with other people, their siblings or their whoever in other relationships.
00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:23.599
Now, in your bio here, it says that you are a senior at the California State University in Bakersfield, majoring in psychology.
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:25.519
So, talk about that a little bit.
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:26.960
What motivated that?
00:34:27.199 --> 00:34:39.840
So honestly, because I was really being in church because I remember after I got out of prison this last term and I came to Garden Pathways, things were looking different, and things were starting to happen.
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:49.039
And God, I feel like God was showing me like where I really belonged, and He showed me my gift of pointing to others, and he started realizing how compassionate my heart was.
00:34:49.519 --> 00:34:51.360
So I remember my last meeting with Dan.
00:34:51.440 --> 00:34:54.639
I had a had asked Dan, and hey Dan, I want to be a mentor.
00:34:55.280 --> 00:35:01.760
And he looked at me, he goes, Weird, like we do have a gift of pointing and talking, but you you could talk natural.
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:07.920
And then he introduced me to the program at Cal State that helps incarcerated students get into higher education.
00:35:08.239 --> 00:35:11.840
And keep in mind, my goal was just to get a drug and alcohol certificate.
00:35:12.079 --> 00:35:16.800
And but when I went, God's like, No, you're gonna get a degree.
00:35:16.960 --> 00:35:21.679
So I'm sitting there with Tiffany James, she's now at Cal State of Sacramento, the director.
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:26.880
And I was talking to her, and she says, No, Isaac, we do for your degrees, we don't do certificate programs.
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:31.599
So me and me and mine, I like I prayed on the spot, hey God, where do you want me to go?
00:35:31.679 --> 00:35:36.400
I don't know nothing about psychology, I don't know what sociology means, it's scientific.
00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:39.760
And I felt like that tug like psychology.
00:35:40.239 --> 00:35:43.360
And I remember just signing in.
00:35:43.519 --> 00:35:46.239
I remember just okay, I'll do psychology.
00:35:46.559 --> 00:35:59.360
So I signed up, then my schedule met with my advisor, and sure enough, I remember I shared the news with Dan, and this is where my award came into play because I showed my news with Dan on hey Dan, I got accepted.
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:02.000
Because hey my man, can you come in for uh one-on-one?
00:36:02.159 --> 00:36:03.679
I go, I want to share something with you.
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:06.159
And at this time, I'm thinking it's a job offer.
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:09.440
You know, oh, they're gonna offer me a job.
00:36:09.599 --> 00:36:16.480
Telling my wife, and I go and go, hey my man, we want to shoot a video of your story, transformation.
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:20.400
I'm like, yeah, he goes, Yeah, we're gonna show it to a pro probation panel.
00:36:20.559 --> 00:36:22.719
The mayor wants to see it, she wants to meet you.
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:25.440
You're gonna have dinner with the mayor on this night.
00:36:26.159 --> 00:36:27.519
Okay, I'm thinking that they know it.
00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:28.559
I'm like, okay, cool.
00:36:28.719 --> 00:36:29.840
Yeah, I'll do the video.
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:35.519
So on our garden pathways website on the testimonials, they have a video of me recorded sharing my story.
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:45.599
And it's funny because I'm my first day at Cal State, we meet and they're recording me, they're walking around, and I'm always my oil field clothes because I was in the oil field before my transfer before I got into the recovery field.
00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:51.519
And I remember this doing the video, and then sure enough, I remember he calls me back.
00:36:51.679 --> 00:36:54.000
I was like, Hey man, for this dinner, who can you bring?
00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:58.000
I'm like, I want to bring my grandma for one because she's always prayed for me to change.
00:36:58.239 --> 00:37:00.239
I want to see her, I want her to see this.
00:37:00.639 --> 00:37:05.920
The video, and then my mom, her boyfriend, or her fiance now, and my wife.
00:37:06.320 --> 00:37:10.000
And at the time my wife was pregnant with my daughter, who's now three.
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:18.480
And I was just like, Okay, man, sure enough, that's when we get the tickets, hey, meet at the Crystal Palace, and that's a fan base.
00:37:18.880 --> 00:37:20.239
We get there, it's like a whole ball.
00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:21.840
I'm like, whoa, this is new.
00:37:22.079 --> 00:37:27.280
All these high-ranking members in the community, like congressmen, like Shannon Grove was there talking to me.
00:37:27.599 --> 00:37:36.559
Mary Car Mary Gold's there, and a few other people just in the community, like high-ranking leaders, and like, man, like this is something new.
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:41.599
And they're like, Okay, Isaac, we're gonna need you by the stage, and this is when I get my award.
00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:43.119
Remember, I got my award.
00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:44.239
Yeah, yeah, right.
00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:46.880
Let me read it again.
00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:53.519
The 2023 Hidden Gold Award from Heart of the Country, correct?
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:56.320
Yes, heart of the Country annual fundraising event.
00:37:56.400 --> 00:37:58.079
Yeah, you were given that award, man.
00:37:58.239 --> 00:38:00.000
So that's huge, brother.
00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:03.760
Yeah, and it's those prices, because I remember when I got it, my wife cried.
00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:05.920
She goes, This is why I stood with you all these years.
00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:07.679
I seen this in you all along.
00:38:07.920 --> 00:38:12.800
And then my grandma, she was so smiley, so big, and she ended up making a comment.
00:38:12.960 --> 00:38:15.440
She goes, Hey, I could go home safely.
00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:17.039
Now I'm like, Okay, what do you mean?
00:38:17.119 --> 00:38:18.239
Like, you're all that we're having fun.
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:19.599
She goes, Yeah, I gotta go home safely.
00:38:19.679 --> 00:38:21.039
I know you're gonna be good.
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:25.920
The next the following year, I would they called me back to give the award to another another uh awardee.
00:38:26.400 --> 00:38:32.079
Yeah, but that would be the last my grandma ended up passing around that time, so she got to see me give out the second award and she ended up passing.
00:38:32.239 --> 00:38:52.400
Yeah, and I just think back to the moments when like I was running amok and I told her about the class, and she goes, Man, she says, Mijo, stick to those organizations, those programs, because I remember I watched the news praying I never see you dead in jail, dead, or looking at long time in jail or busted for something stupid you're doing.
00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:53.840
I just prayed that you change.
00:38:53.920 --> 00:39:00.719
And by the time she passed away, I was already a 2023 getting go to Warty, a Cal State student.
00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:06.000
And I think at the time when she passed away, I was a pre-recovery coach for another organization in a mental health.
00:39:06.480 --> 00:39:07.519
Wow, wow.
00:39:07.760 --> 00:39:17.360
Wow, man, I tell you, that's a powerful story and testimony of your life and the lives of what people can have if they want to change.
00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:19.519
And I want to shout out to Dan Lopez.
00:39:19.840 --> 00:39:21.119
Dan, I've known Dan a long time.
00:39:21.199 --> 00:39:27.760
He's been doing this with Garden Pathways and one of the first people to teach Parents on a Mission in Lerdo.
00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:29.679
So, you know, I really love him.
00:39:29.840 --> 00:39:30.400
He's great.
00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:36.159
But listen, Isaac, I want to thank you for sharing your story and sharing your time with us.
00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:41.760
It's powerful, and I wish you, your children, and your family all the best.
00:39:42.079 --> 00:39:45.360
All of us are proud of you, brother, and just keep it going.
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:48.159
So, listen, everybody, thank you for your time.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:52.000
Thank you for listening, or if you're watching the video on YouTube.
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.639
This is the Parent Whisperer Podcast.
00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:56.480
I'm Richard Ramos, the host.
00:39:56.639 --> 00:40:00.559
And don't forget, there are many resources, free resources.
00:40:00.719 --> 00:40:07.119
If you are a parent or a step parent, you can go to my website, RichardRamos.com.
00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:28.079
And also, if you wanted to take parents on a mission, the classes, if there's not a the cloud, the parent on mission classes in your city, you can go to my website, and for only$97, you can take the whole course by yourself or with other people that you want to invite to come and watch the videos with you.
00:40:28.320 --> 00:40:36.639
And I say only$97 because this is 15 videos, they're not very long, maybe 15 minutes.
00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:44.639
But other online courses like this charge a lot more.
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:57.119
And you don't have to believe me, but I'm just telling you, I've been in this business a long time, and for$97, that's like a about a$200 discount compared to what other programs that you would pay.
00:40:57.360 --> 00:41:06.320
So, but I put that there because not everybody has the opportunity to attend a class because parents on a mission.
00:41:06.480 --> 00:41:10.239
I'm trying, but it's not everywhere, but I'm trying to get it everywhere.
00:41:10.400 --> 00:41:20.559
But you can watch the videos, learn everything that Isaac talked about, learn everything we teach in those on those videos, 15 videos.
00:41:20.639 --> 00:41:24.320
Or if you like to read, my book is on the website as well.
00:41:24.559 --> 00:41:27.119
So, again, thank you for watching.
00:41:27.360 --> 00:41:36.239
Please, if you can have time to write a review, that it really helps me reach more people and grow my YouTube channel.
00:41:36.559 --> 00:41:46.000
Subscribe and also share the video with any friends and family that you know that listening to Isaac's testimony would be an encouragement to them.
00:41:46.159 --> 00:41:57.280
And the last thing I leave you with, as always, remember, mom and dad, parents on a mission is not for bad parents, it's for good parents who want to get better.
00:41:57.920 --> 00:41:59.199
Thanks for listening.
00:41:59.440 --> 00:42:00.480
See you next time.