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Dolores: Welcome to Empowering Humility,
where we're on a mission to promote human
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flourishing by restoring humility as
a common denominator in society today.
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Let's dive in.
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Brandon Giella: Hello, and welcome
back to another episode of the
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Empowering Humility Podcast.
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Today we have a very fun guest.
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I'm really excited for you guys to
listen to, in addition to the inevitable
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ever present, Giancarlo Newsom.
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Thank you for joining me again, but
the special guest today is Ernesto soi.
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And.
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He is the founder of the Soroi
Institute, and I want him to give us
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a quick background here in a second
about what that is and his work.
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Um, but today we are talking about
doing good verse, looking good.
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So we are talking about how
humility plays a part in global aid.
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And so, Ernesto, if you don't mind,
give us like just a few minutes
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of who you are, what you do, and
why you're on the show today.
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Ernesto Sirolli: Brandon, uh, I
cannot even give you one minute
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per year because I'm 75 years old.
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Can you imagine?
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So.
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Uh, what I like to say
that I was born in Italy.
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Uh, I started to travel, uh, because
my father was a doctor and, uh,
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his, uh, one of his posting was,
uh, uh, uh, Benghazi in Libya.
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Started to work, uh, to travel
when I was eight years old.
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Started to learn different
languages and, uh.
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That changed me.
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I never adapted to, uh,
to the Italian lifestyle,
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uh, because I knew that the
world was much, much bigger.
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Uh, started then to work in international
aid when I was 21 years old.
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Uh, worked for the Italian, uh,
government technical cooperation
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with African countries until 77.
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And then, uh, I went to do a.
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Uh, PhD in a, uh,
university in South Africa.
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From there, I transferred to a university
in Australia and I did a PhD on this.
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Uh, very strange idea.
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I.
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To only do international aid
in response to the needs of the
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local people instead of arriving
uninvited to tell them what to do.
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And um, um, some 14 years ago, I
gave a TED Talk that has gone, uh,
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viral and, uh, the TED Talk, um.
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Title is, if you really want to
help someone shut up and listen.
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And, uh, it is because of that
TED Talk that, uh, Giancarlo
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Newsom, uh, discover my work.
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We have been friends since, and of
course, the idea of we Western people
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shutting up and listening to, uh, local
indigenous people, African people,
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Asian people, Latin American people.
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is kind of extraordinary, but I
am the living proof that, uh, it
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works beautifully to capture the
passion, the imagination, the
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idea of local people worldwide.
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Because for the last 40 years,
I have worked in 28 countries in
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every continent, and we have helped
to discover the passionate idea
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of local would be entrepreneurs.
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We have helped to start some 65,000
companies without ever giving them
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the idea, but simply responding and
facilitating what they wanted to do.
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So this is, uh, my little,
my, my very brief story.
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I've written two books.
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I, uh, writing another book now and, um.
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Uh, you know, I advocate for a complete
transformation in the way we do.
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Uh, we relate with the other.
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And by the other, I mean, the person
that doesn't look like us, doesn't
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share our religion, does not share
our, uh, cultural background.
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That's called the other.
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Brandon Giella: Mm-hmm.
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Ernesto Sirolli: that right now we
only have two ways of dealing with
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the other and the two ways, uh, we
are either patronizing or patronistic.
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I believe that both are
wrong, and I believe that
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it's about time that we start to respect,
listen and facilitate instead of treating
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people, uh, as if they were our children.
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Or as if they were our servants.
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So that's me.
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Giancarlo Newsome: So.
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Brandon Giella: I want
to get to some of that.
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What you just said I think is so
beautiful and so important, and
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I
Load full transcript
want to dive into all that.
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But first, how many
languages do you speak?
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Ernesto Sirolli: Well, when I was in
Libya, I was, I was abl, uh, uh, I, I
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went to an Italian school that taught
in Italian, taught in English, and
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uh, we had Arabic, uh, was compulsory
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then.
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I studied, uh, French when
I was in, uh, in Italy.
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Uh.
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During my high school and uh,
English, and I studied German
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even though it was so hard for me.
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Uh, uh, and then professionally,
I spent time in Latin America.
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So some I can understand Spanish, I
can, uh, you know, struggle through,
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uh, in, in a Spanish, uh, um, country.
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Uh, but I would say that my
second language was French.
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Better than English.
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When I, um, when I was a
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teenager and I was invited to
join that organization of work in
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Africa because I spoke French, even
though the organization never sent
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me to a French speaking country.
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So, So, uh, that's my story.
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Um,
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and, uh, uh, I don't know whether
that, that of any use to you, but.
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Brandon Giella: No, no.
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I just, I'm, I'm curious.
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I'm, I'm very American, so I only
know a little bit of English.
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Giancarlo Newsome: if I can jump in,
I just, uh, my personal connection
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with Ernesto, there were two.
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And I think, you know, we
all see the matrix moving.
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We get the red pill.
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It's like one event.
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But I think that's not reality.
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I think we, um, God the universe
gives us different red pill moments
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that takes the blinders off our eyes.
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And Ernesto's TEDx that he talked
about was one of those moments.
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First it was Poverty Inc.
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Which really made me go, wait
a minute, you mean because
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I bought some Tom's shoes?
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I, I'd never thought that that extra
pair of shoes they gave away was
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taking the job away of a, of a tailor.
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And, and to Ernesto's point, how
patronizing that is to think that
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someone we've been making, folks been
making shoes for thousands of years.
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Like, like how, how patronizing and
paternalistic, again is that behavior
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and that his, and actually, you know,
it was another army, um, soldier who
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introduced me to your TEDx Ernesto.
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So that was really.
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Uh, cool.
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And by the way, our last
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guest, Francesco Fazi, who is,
uh, the entrepreneur who built
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Ernesto Sirolli: Ha.
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Yes,
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Giancarlo Newsome: early stress detection
tool, he's a friend of Ernesto and,
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and Ernesto introduced me, Francesco.
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So the, the circle's
complete and it's fun.
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And, you know, I think in
the, um, while Ernesto's work
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and, and our, you know, his.
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Came out of the aid and development
world, but this idea of patronizing and
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being paternalistic, it's not just in
the aid and development world that pride.
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And that's why, uh, he, I'd say,
Ernesto, you very much inspired the
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whole awakening of this is, this is
an, a movement of humility and um,
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but it doesn't apply just to aid work.
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It applies everywhere.
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Like even the way we listen in a
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domestic market, in a
modern market, it has value.
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But anyhow, I'll turn it back over
to you, Brandon, but I thought the
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audience might appreciate knowing.
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Hey Giancarlo, how'd you meet Ernesto?
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And it's been fun.
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Brandon Giella: Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I love that.
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I, I, the, that relationship is so
important of why is he even on the show.
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Um, but yes, no, I, I'm very curious,
uh, Ernesto, if you could talk a little
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bit about what you were talking to
Giancarlo and me before we started
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recording about humility, and I,
I think you had this really lovely
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definition of how you see humility.
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What does it mean to you?
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How would you define that to somebody?
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Ernesto Sirolli: Yeah,
humility is not being.
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Survival means that you make
yourself small out of fear,
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so you become a yes man.
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--> 00:08:52.752
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
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Ernesto Sirolli: That's not being
humble, uh, that is, uh, to be a coward.
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I.
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Brandon Giella: Hmm.
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Ernesto Sirolli: To be
humble is different.
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To be humble is recognizing that the
person in front of you is an extraordinary
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human being with extraordinary gifts,
and maybe these gifts are not expressed.
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Maybe these gifts are being repressed.
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Maybe the person in front of
you is a victim of a victim.
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I, I like to say that we are all
victims of victims because our
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parents, for instance, do realize
that all our parents, for the people
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born after the Second World War, they
were, uh, people with post-traumatic
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stress, but they were untreated.
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So we are all victims of of parents.
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Who struggled through the
war, through depression.
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They were, uh, uh, people who
nowadays we will call traumatized.
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So, um, I know when I look at somebody
and I see maybe fear or hang, uh,
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anger or even hatred, I look at
them in the eye and I say, the
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poor guy, what has happened to you?
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Brandon Giella: Hmm.
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Ernesto Sirolli: For you to be so
traumatized that you fear other
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people, you fear other human beings.
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Brandon Giella: Hmm.
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Ernesto Sirolli: What kind of,
uh, baggage are you carrying?
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What kind of insecurity?
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What kind of dread, what
has happened to you?
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So, you know, I come from, um, a
family of physicians, uh, in Italy.
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Uh, and I was.
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Uh, absolutely blown away
when I discovered, um.
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Uh, growth psychology, you know,
humanistic psychology because for
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the humanistic psychologist, the most
important person in the meeting is
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not the doctor, it's the patient.
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So, car Roger used to say, I.
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I look at the person and I start
to listen to the person with this
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absolute, I'm in awe of people.
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I listen to them, I look at them in
the eye, and then the only thing I
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do, I try to remove the obstacle that
are stopping the person from growing.
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I don't do, I don't do
anything to the person.
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The, I don't touch the brain.
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I don't give a
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a pill.
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I don't try to calm the anxiety.
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I simply notice from outside
that there are lots of obstacles
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surrounding the person.
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So I ask question to say, you know, every
time you talk about your mother, you cry.
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Why?
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Every
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time you all the sudden the
person says, no, I don't.
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They said, well.
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How come, you know, you in 15 minutes,
you have mentioned your mother five times.
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What is, what's hap what
happened with your mom?
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What happened with your father?
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And all of a sudden you remove the
obstacle, but you remove the obstacle
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so that the person can keep growing.
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And
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so what we believe, what I, what the
reason why I am so in love with people.
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It's because profoundly I know
that every single human being
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has a dream to improve himself,
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improve herself.
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Giancarlo Newsome: you
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Ernesto Sirolli: We are wonderful.
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A wonderful, wonderful.
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Giancarlo Newsome: One of
the, one of the, the themes
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that I, I've had some people push back
on me on, but you just represented
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it, is that when I bring up empowering
humility, I get like this immediate like.
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Um, reaction where some people, they just
immediately, like, they, they cringe.
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They, they feel like I'm
about to shackle them.
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I'm like, no, that the
empower, humility is
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your liberation.
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It's, it's
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the root of freedom.
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So when you're talking about
those obstacles that Carl Rogers,
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like all he's doing, he's just
helping us unlock those things.
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And that's, and that's
what I love with you.
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And, and those who
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Ernesto Sirolli: Yes,
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absolutely.
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Giancarlo Newsome: embrace
their, their not even weaknesses,
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just their uniqueness.
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Right.
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It allows you to embrace others.
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I mean, the freedom is beautiful.
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It's, it's so liberating, you know?
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Ernesto Sirolli: Is it, uh, is Ken,
uh, I, I, I like to tell the story.
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Ken Robertson in, uh, one of his TED Talk
tells the story about this little girl.
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Uh, the teacher is, is, uh, given
to all the, the little kids piece
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of paper and, and, and some crayons.
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And they said, draw whatever you want.
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So she goes around and she
sees this little girl and
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says, oh, what are you drawing?
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And she says, I'm drawing God.
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And the teacher says, but
nobody knows what God looks
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like.
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And the girl says, give me
10 minutes and I'll show you.
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She says, I'm drawing God.
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I'm going to show you what it looks like.
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Give me 10 minutes.
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And, uh, the same thing with me.
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I have, uh, somebody in
the community said to me.
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Oh, don't work with that
person because that person has
00:14:10.017 --> 00:14:11.937
been a failure all his life.
00:14:11.937 --> 00:14:12.207
He is.
00:14:12.747 --> 00:14:12.987
He is.
00:14:12.987 --> 00:14:13.887
a bankrupt.
00:14:14.097 --> 00:14:14.457
Yeah.
00:14:14.577 --> 00:14:18.357
And I said, yeah, because he
didn't have me helping him.
00:14:19.257 --> 00:14:19.647
Giancarlo Newsome: Huh.
00:14:19.707 --> 00:14:20.217
Wow.
00:14:20.742 --> 00:14:22.952
Ernesto Sirolli: Wait until, wait until,
00:14:25.137 --> 00:14:29.667
so gimme 10 minutes and I'll show you
that the poor guy, the only reason
00:14:29.667 --> 00:14:34.677
why he failed all his life is because
nobody, you know, uh, helped him.
00:14:34.677 --> 00:14:37.647
Nobody said to him, you
making a wonderful product.
00:14:37.647 --> 00:14:38.427
Can you sell it?
00:14:38.922 --> 00:14:40.092
No, I hate selling it.
00:14:40.122 --> 00:14:42.552
Okay, let's find somebody in
the village who likes to sell,
00:14:43.422 --> 00:14:45.342
who will take your product to the market.
00:14:45.792 --> 00:14:46.902
Do you understand money?
00:14:46.962 --> 00:14:48.462
No, I don't understand anything.
00:14:48.462 --> 00:14:51.552
Let's find somebody who's
prepared one hour, one hour a
00:14:51.552 --> 00:14:53.652
month to help you with the books
00:14:54.462 --> 00:14:58.872
and so 65,000 business, but we don't
know how many hundreds of thousands
00:14:58.872 --> 00:15:02.052
of people, I can tell you that we.
00:15:02.547 --> 00:15:06.087
Every night I go to sleep thinking,
I wonder how many people's
00:15:06.087 --> 00:15:11.127
lives have been changed by one
of my enterprise facilitators.
00:15:11.577 --> 00:15:15.147
'cause the way we do development, we
train a local person in the village.
00:15:15.147 --> 00:15:15.177
I.
00:15:15.987 --> 00:15:19.827
Who then for free, any confidence
pay by a third party, the government,
00:15:19.827 --> 00:15:23.667
the foundation, a corporation
works with all these people
00:15:23.667 --> 00:15:27.057
who have always failed and they
00:15:27.057 --> 00:15:33.777
failed because the poor guys, they did not
know that you cannot run a business alone.
00:15:33.807 --> 00:15:35.817
You need the three different characters.
00:15:35.817 --> 00:15:36.357
Somebody who
00:15:36.357 --> 00:15:41.367
loves to go to the market, somebody
who likes to toil in the garden,
00:15:41.367 --> 00:15:43.257
and somebody who likes the numbers.
00:15:43.277 --> 00:15:44.327
So simple.
00:15:44.327 --> 00:15:45.947
It's ridiculous.
00:15:46.787 --> 00:15:46.967
We
00:15:46.967 --> 00:15:47.687
never listen.
00:15:47.717 --> 00:15:48.557
We never listen.
00:15:48.557 --> 00:15:55.547
We ne we never, we, we don't, you know,
we should, you know, there is a Rumi,
00:15:55.547 --> 00:16:01.037
the philosopher who says there are a
million ways to kneel in front of the sun.
00:16:01.307 --> 00:16:04.607
And they say there are a million
ways to kneel in front of people.
00:16:05.247 --> 00:16:05.637
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:16:05.802 --> 00:16:06.252
Giancarlo Newsome: Mm.
00:16:06.252 --> 00:16:06.492
That's
00:16:06.617 --> 00:16:11.057
Ernesto Sirolli: of being
absolutely blown away by the beauty.
00:16:12.102 --> 00:16:18.072
The beauty, all my, you know, I, uh, all
my friends in, in min in, when I came
00:16:18.072 --> 00:16:23.562
to America, I was invited by a professor
of rural development in rural Minnesota.
00:16:23.562 --> 00:16:25.602
So all my friends are from the Midwest.
00:16:26.622 --> 00:16:33.762
And do you think that I had ever
met somebody that I did not like?
00:16:34.932 --> 00:16:39.192
I work, you know, on my board we have
Democrats and Republican working together.
00:16:39.192 --> 00:16:40.932
They all adore what we do.
00:16:41.487 --> 00:16:42.897
For completely different reasons.
00:16:42.897 --> 00:16:43.137
For
00:16:43.467 --> 00:16:47.817
the Republicans, what we
do is patriotic because
00:16:47.817 --> 00:16:51.807
this is the way America was
created by entrepreneurship.
00:16:52.197 --> 00:16:57.657
And the Democrats love it because we
don't, don't dis we help anyone, anybody
00:16:58.347 --> 00:16:58.737
because
00:16:58.752 --> 00:17:00.852
Brandon Giella: I think
it's because it's so human.
00:17:00.912 --> 00:17:03.342
I mean, I think what you're
tapping into is that it's such
00:17:03.342 --> 00:17:05.232
a human principle, like what you
00:17:05.382 --> 00:17:05.802
Ernesto Sirolli: Yeah,
00:17:05.837 --> 00:17:06.787
Brandon Giella: is that anything.
00:17:06.912 --> 00:17:11.622
Ernesto Sirolli: it's, it's, humble
because you kneel in front of people.
00:17:11.622 -->
00:17:17.682
You look at them to say,
wow, you really do this.
00:17:18.807 --> 00:17:25.317
And you know, you, I heard stories about
farmers in the Midwest in January with
00:17:25.317 --> 00:17:32.457
the temperature is minus 20 going to
the field and try to lift this calf that
00:17:32.457 --> 00:17:40.347
is as half frozen and he puts it on his
back and he drags this calf into, uh,
00:17:40.347 --> 00:17:43.797
in and faults with a face in the mud.
00:17:44.982 --> 00:17:46.842
These are real people.
00:17:46.842 --> 00:17:50.712
How can you not love them?
00:17:51.282 --> 00:17:51.362
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:17:51.497 --> 00:17:55.457
Giancarlo Newsome: but Ernesto is
not now gonna be, uh, the pessimist.
00:17:56.057 --> 00:17:56.657
How so?
00:17:56.657 --> 00:17:58.337
You, you gave an, uh, before we
00:17:58.337 --> 00:18:01.967
got on you, you gave an
analogy of what you said.
00:18:02.567 --> 00:18:03.947
You talked about the bird.
00:18:03.977 --> 00:18:08.027
You know, we, we, we show the feathers,
but we don't show the bird we killed.
00:18:09.177 --> 00:18:15.477
How, how do we, how do we get,
how do people get consumed
00:18:15.477 --> 00:18:17.402
with looking good and ignored?
00:18:17.492 --> 00:18:18.162
Doing good.
00:18:18.866 --> 00:18:20.366
Ernesto Sirolli: Well, it is their loss.
00:18:20.366 --> 00:18:27.386
They don't even understand the beauty
of, uh, look, uh, quite frankly, there is
00:18:27.536 --> 00:18:30.446
nothing like helping another human being.
00:18:30.506 --> 00:18:33.056
It is in our gene for forever.
00:18:33.806 --> 00:18:34.346
Um.
00:18:35.411 --> 00:18:44.621
The most powerful entity in the world
is a group of humans working together.
00:18:45.611 --> 00:18:54.796
Imagine that we are so, uh, weak
physically, but do you realize that
00:18:55.571 --> 00:19:01.871
the most scary, ferocious animals.
00:19:03.056 --> 00:19:07.886
They only live now
because of our goodwill.
00:19:09.266 --> 00:19:17.006
Do you realize that we naked
monkeys have tamed the most
00:19:17.516 --> 00:19:19.256
ferocious animals in the world?
00:19:19.976 --> 00:19:23.666
They only exist because
we allow them to exist.
00:19:24.656 --> 00:19:25.661
There's never been.
00:19:26.531 --> 00:19:33.941
One person, one tyrant, that never
been anybody who has been able
00:19:33.971 --> 00:19:38.111
to stop a group of us in history.
00:19:39.731 --> 00:19:48.281
We are the most extraordinary,
powerful creatures, and so I, I
00:19:48.281 --> 00:19:55.781
look at the people who think that
they can control us with pity.
00:19:56.201 --> 00:19:59.051
They have no idea what's
gonna happen to them.
00:20:00.251 --> 00:20:07.211
I would never put myself in a
situation where, really do you realize,
00:20:09.611 --> 00:20:18.401
did you realize what the power of
just a group of us historically?
00:20:19.451 --> 00:20:25.781
So my point is, I, when I see
people who have to do something.
00:20:26.411 --> 00:20:31.421
To demonstrate their, uh, quality.
00:20:32.921 --> 00:20:40.031
When, you know, I, I'm
thinking, wow, really?
00:20:40.091 --> 00:20:42.191
You have to demonstrate.
00:20:43.181 --> 00:20:54.666
And, uh, so I consider humility, uh, the
humility of Nelson Mandela because now.
00:20:55.301 --> 00:21:01.421
Imagine that he did not, you
know, exercise or revenge.
00:21:02.256 --> 00:21:02.496
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:21:03.071 --> 00:21:11.861
Ernesto Sirolli: So to me, Mandela is a
man of and is the virtue, the pre-Socratic
00:21:11.861 --> 00:21:18.041
virtue of a man or a woman who knows
00:21:20.051 --> 00:21:23.891
what is right and what is wrong himself.
00:21:24.926 --> 00:21:33.266
So imagine pre Christianity, thousands
of years before Christ, the way people
00:21:33.986 --> 00:21:40.856
who, uh, behave in a certain way, only
because was dictated by the unconscious.
00:21:41.896 --> 00:21:42.116
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:21:42.326 --> 00:21:44.756
Ernesto Sirolli: So the externalities.
00:21:44.816 --> 00:21:45.356
Yeah.
00:21:45.446 --> 00:21:46.436
Yeah, sure.
00:21:47.216 --> 00:21:50.906
You know, you can, you
know, um, try to be.
00:21:52.121 --> 00:21:57.761
Uh, try to be seen as a person of success.
00:21:58.421 --> 00:22:01.631
But what we learned
from psychology is this.
00:22:03.251 --> 00:22:07.211
When you look at yourself in
the mirror, you can all lie.
00:22:08.831 --> 00:22:16.541
So you can imagine the situation where
you, um, uh, try to appear successful.
00:22:18.161 --> 00:22:21.281
And then, you know, in your
hearts of hearts that you not,
00:22:23.286 --> 00:22:23.406
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:22:24.071 --> 00:22:28.181
Ernesto Sirolli: and there are people
who would give everything they have.
00:22:29.351 --> 00:22:35.501
Uh, if they could claim a, uh, noble past,
00:22:36.481 --> 00:22:36.571
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:22:38.596 --> 00:22:40.961
Ernesto Sirolli: they would
give everything they have.
00:22:41.561 --> 00:22:46.751
Yeah, if they would, uh,
claim that in the eyes of the
00:22:46.751 --> 00:22:49.781
public, they are noble spirits.
00:22:50.411 --> 00:22:51.371
They give anything,
00:22:52.031 --> 00:22:55.361
Brandon Giella: Which goes back
to you have self-respect before
00:22:55.391 --> 00:22:57.011
you can respect others that
00:22:57.026 --> 00:22:59.516
Ernesto Sirolli: you cannot respect
others if you have no self respect.
00:22:59.516 --> 00:22:59.666
You
00:22:59.666 --> 00:23:02.606
cannot love others if you don't,
if you don't love yourself.
00:23:03.146 --> 00:23:05.186
So it is already an illusion.
00:23:05.186 --> 00:23:13.736
So humility, uh, is the humility of
somebody that when looks at you in, okay,
00:23:13.796 --> 00:23:15.956
I'll tell you, this is a true story.
00:23:16.016 --> 00:23:16.496
Uh.
00:23:17.681 --> 00:23:22.571
We had people for dinner in my
house in California, and we always
00:23:22.571 --> 00:23:25.511
ask some, uh, fun questions.
00:23:25.511 --> 00:23:28.601
And the question that that night
was,
who is being the greatest
00:23:28.601 --> 00:23:30.011
celebrity you have ever met?
00:23:30.941 --> 00:23:35.021
And so somebody had met,
uh, you know, uh, uh.
00:23:35.411 --> 00:23:43.991
Um, uh, one of the, uh, uh, Mick
Jagger in, in a, uh, in a, uh, hotel,
00:23:44.291 --> 00:23:47.711
uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, lift.
00:23:47.891 --> 00:23:53.171
The other one had met, I had met,
uh, I had not met, I had encountered
00:23:53.171 --> 00:23:56.171
physically Salvador Dali when I was
00:23:56.171 --> 00:24:03.431
19 in Barcelona, and I described meetings
and one of the people at, uh, during said.
00:24:04.391 --> 00:24:07.361
I had tea with Nelson Mandela
00:24:08.411 --> 00:24:08.951
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:24:09.401 --> 00:24:11.441
Ernesto Sirolli: and
we said, okay, you won.
00:24:11.591 --> 00:24:14.171
Now you have to describe, and we said.
00:24:15.026 --> 00:24:16.736
What, what happened?
00:24:16.736 --> 00:24:20.606
She said, well, I had a friend who
worked for him, so he said to me,
00:24:20.606 --> 00:24:22.466
would you like to meet Nelson Mandela?
00:24:22.466 --> 00:24:23.876
And I said, absolutely.
00:24:23.876 --> 00:24:27.236
But I did not expect that
it was just the three of us
00:24:27.761 --> 00:24:28.091
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:24:28.406 --> 00:24:31.106
Ernesto Sirolli: in
Nelson house having tea.
00:24:31.496 --> 00:24:33.566
So I said, oh my God.
00:24:33.836 --> 00:24:35.396
So what did you ask?
00:24:35.666 --> 00:24:39.086
You know what, you know what great wisdom?
00:24:39.476 --> 00:24:40.016
He says?
00:24:40.046 --> 00:24:40.616
No, no, no.
00:24:40.646 --> 00:24:43.256
He, he, he only wanted to know about me.
00:24:44.351 --> 00:24:44.591
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:24:45.521 --> 00:24:45.791
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:24:46.121 --> 00:24:46.871
Ernesto Sirolli: What
00:24:47.681 --> 00:24:48.041
Brandon Giella: hmm,
00:24:49.361 --> 00:24:55.001
Ernesto Sirolli: Nelson Mandela
wanted to know about him, he was 27.
00:24:55.961 --> 00:24:56.351
Brandon Giella: hmm.
00:24:56.711 --> 00:24:59.561
Ernesto Sirolli: The entire
conversation was about him,
00:25:00.221 --> 00:25:00.551
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:25:00.671 --> 00:25:01.721
Ernesto Sirolli: dreams.
00:25:03.161 --> 00:25:08.591
Can you imagine the going to the
White House being invited and
00:25:08.591 --> 00:25:12.731
having a conversation where you.
00:25:13.751 --> 00:25:14.771
Nobody.
00:25:14.771 --> 00:25:18.011
You is the center of attention.
00:25:18.536 --> 00:25:18.956
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:25:19.211 --> 00:25:21.701
Ernesto Sirolli: Who
is the greatest leader?
00:25:23.801 --> 00:25:26.321
So my point is, come on guys.
00:25:26.981 --> 00:25:33.371
Humility is not a survival attitude
where you are scared to talk.
00:25:33.821 --> 00:25:37.691
Remember the beautiful poem
by Marianne Williamson.
00:25:38.351 --> 00:25:44.021
You know, uh, your, our
greatest fear is not our light.
00:25:44.021 --> 00:25:47.471
Uh, uh, our, you know, uh, shadow.
00:25:47.501 --> 00:25:49.181
Our greatest fear is our light.
00:25:49.181 --> 00:25:51.191
Our greatest fear is how powerful we are,
00:25:51.901 --> 00:25:52.171
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:25:52.171 --> 00:25:52.261
That
00:25:52.361 --> 00:25:55.991
Ernesto Sirolli: to place mold
doesn't, doesn't benefit anybody.
00:25:56.711 --> 00:26:01.391
So it's not about playing
small, it's about really being
00:26:01.421 --> 00:26:04.271
able, uh, have be such a.
00:26:06.161 --> 00:26:14.441
A whole person to have worked so
much on yourself that you really,
00:26:15.191 --> 00:26:18.461
really took pity of yourself.
00:26:19.271 --> 00:26:24.731
You embraced the kid, you, you
embraced the traumatized a life
00:26:24.761 --> 00:26:30.161
because we all have traumas and then
you recognize those traumas in others.
00:26:30.641 --> 00:26:34.331
So humility is, I know
how hard it is my friend.
00:26:35.366 --> 00:26:38.456
You don't have to, you
don't have to tell me.
00:26:39.176 --> 00:26:43.916
And, and I have, I don't know what's
happening with me, but Martha says, oh
00:26:43.916 --> 00:26:49.736
my God, Ernesto, you, you really call
for the people who are suffering because
00:26:49.946 --> 00:26:55.616
you, we stop in a cafe in the middle
of New Zealand, rural New Zealand.
00:26:55.856 --> 00:26:59.876
And there was this guy who came to talk
to me, to talk to me about East East.
00:27:00.626 --> 00:27:02.936
What he was, uh, facing.
00:27:02.936 --> 00:27:06.776
The, and the guy I was having
a coffee was first time.
00:27:06.776 --> 00:27:08.216
I will never be in that village.
00:27:08.216 --> 00:27:11.936
And this guy came to talk to
me about his personal problem
00:27:12.356 --> 00:27:14.396
because I look people in the eye.
00:27:14.396 --> 00:27:14.996
You know what they
00:27:14.996 --> 00:27:15.986
say in the army?
00:27:16.046 --> 00:27:19.796
Don't you ever look your enemy
in the eye because you will
00:27:19.796 --> 00:27:20.876
never be able to kill them.
00:27:21.676 --> 00:27:21.796
Brandon Giella: Hmm.
00:27:22.251 --> 00:27:22.331
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:27:22.466 --> 00:27:25.436
Ernesto Sirolli: so what I said to
people is that look at people in the eye.
00:27:25.436 --> 00:27:26.096
That's humility.
00:27:27.296 --> 00:27:30.356
Don't arrive in a place and look at
that because they're black people.
00:27:30.356 --> 00:27:33.146
You don't make eye contact
because they're Asian.
00:27:33.146 --> 00:27:35.216
You don't make contact
because they're gay.
00:27:35.216 --> 00:27:36.986
You don't make contact.
00:27:37.346 --> 00:27:40.046
You know, you look at people in the eye.
00:27:40.856 --> 00:27:42.416
That's the beginning of humility.
00:27:43.466 --> 00:27:43.766
Giancarlo Newsome: Hmm.
00:27:43.916 --> 00:27:50.006
Brandon Giella: I, what I'm hearing from
you is, first of all, a very powerful
00:27:50.216 --> 00:27:53.456
human principle, as I was saying earlier
and, and clearly others have too.
00:27:53.486 --> 00:27:56.726
Your TED talk has over
800,000 views on YouTube.
00:27:56.906 --> 00:27:57.236
This is
00:27:57.281 --> 00:27:58.451
Ernesto Sirolli: 4 million actually
00:27:58.811 --> 00:27:59.141
in
00:27:59.351 --> 00:28:01.301
Brandon Giella: 4 million May maybe total.
00:28:01.301 --> 00:28:01.541
Yeah.
00:28:01.541 --> 00:28:01.721
Yeah.
00:28:01.721 --> 00:28:02.021
Yeah.
00:28:02.021 --> 00:28:05.951
So, uh, just in the, the video that
I saw, 800,000, but 4 million total
00:28:05.951 --> 00:28:07.211
across all the different channels,
00:28:07.256 --> 00:28:11.216
Ernesto Sirolli: No, the Ted the
Ted, uh, platform, uh, is 4 million.
00:28:11.216 --> 00:28:15.116
And so with the, with the
YouTube, we are about 5 million.
00:28:15.116 --> 00:28:19.646
But what what is important to me
is, is something else about the
00:28:19.646 --> 00:28:24.056
TED Talk is I thought that I was
addressing a very specialized,
00:28:24.056 --> 00:28:26.216
tiny little field of endeavor.
00:28:26.426 --> 00:28:31.406
Instead, now I have calls from people to
say, I saw your TED talk and it changed
00:28:31.406 --> 00:28:34.406
the way I relate with my teenager son.
00:28:34.961 --> 00:28:35.321
Brandon Giella: Wow.
00:28:36.491 --> 00:28:36.791
I love
00:28:36.896 --> 00:28:37.976
Ernesto Sirolli: Shut up and listen.
00:28:37.976 --> 00:28:39.896
You know who the hell you think you are.
00:28:40.676 --> 00:28:44.426
They have problems they are
trying to find themselves.
00:28:44.426 --> 00:28:49.166
What is the humility, is
really, starts with respect.
00:28:49.856 --> 00:28:53.156
So respect, I think is
the, is the key word.
00:28:53.716 --> 00:28:59.876
if you humble, you respect people, I
search once for the etymology of the
00:28:59.876 --> 00:29:02.426
word humble and it come from the soil,
00:29:03.056 --> 00:29:04.676
so of the soil.
00:29:05.936 --> 00:29:07.556
And you know,
00:29:09.596 --> 00:29:17.516
in Italian, uh, we don't have, uh, any
negative connotation later is mother.
00:29:17.831 --> 00:29:21.221
Lara, that's the word for soil.
00:29:21.491 --> 00:29:24.161
But Lara is what gives us life.
00:29:24.701 --> 00:29:25.721
So it's not dirt.
00:29:25.781 --> 00:29:29.831
We, we don't have anything in
Italy that is negative about Lara.
00:29:29.831 --> 00:29:29.891
I.
00:29:31.496 --> 00:29:37.106
Uh, uh, the French for the
French terroir is what gives
00:29:37.106 --> 00:29:39.566
the grapes the unique flavor.
00:29:39.926 --> 00:29:41.066
Oh my God.
00:29:41.066 --> 00:29:51.656
The terroir is like not only Mother Earth,
but it's a, is a, is a giving mother.
00:29:52.646 --> 00:29:59.096
So I think that, uh, in that sense, uh, to
say that somebody who come from the earth.
00:29:59.561 --> 00:30:02.741
It's humble of humble origin.
00:30:02.801 --> 00:30:09.431
I really think that in that
connotation, uh, I would like to um,
00:30:10.421 --> 00:30:16.031
say that we are all born in the dirt.
00:30:17.531 --> 00:30:22.931
You know, we all born in, uh, in blood.
00:30:23.051 --> 00:30:26.981
We are all born in, uh, um, you know.
00:30:27.476 --> 00:30:29.126
In a very humble way.
00:30:29.486 --> 00:30:31.316
That's, that's our nature.
00:30:31.736 --> 00:30:37.406
So the idea that somehow you can
escape that fate, no, you can't.
00:30:38.516 --> 00:30:39.146
You can't.
00:30:39.626 --> 00:30:44.366
And, um, so I don't know, it's
a little bit philosophical.
00:30:44.366 --> 00:30:44.576
I,
00:30:45.656 --> 00:30:46.946
I don't know whether this
00:30:46.976 --> 00:30:47.186
Brandon Giella: this
00:30:47.186 --> 00:30:47.666
is great.
00:30:47.816 --> 00:30:50.546
I feel like we haven't covered so
many things that I wanted to cover.
00:30:51.026 --> 00:30:51.686
Uh, this is great.
00:30:51.716 --> 00:30:53.426
Okay, so we have just a few minutes left.
00:30:53.426 --> 00:30:57.116
I'm, I'm curious, Ernesto, I have
one question for you in one minute.
00:30:57.296 --> 00:30:58.076
In one minute.
00:30:58.766 --> 00:31:05.751
What would you say to somebody who
has ambition, who ha, who wants to.
00:31:06.261 --> 00:31:07.941
Let's say go out and change the world.
00:31:07.941 --> 00:31:09.681
Who wants to do development work?
00:31:09.681 --> 00:31:11.361
Who wants to be a philanthropist?
00:31:11.361 --> 00:31:14.301
Who wants to change other people,
whether they're a therapist or a
00:31:14.301 --> 00:31:19.581
mother, or whatever it might be, and
they're afraid of seeming arrogant.
00:31:20.661 --> 00:31:23.091
And so there's this, 'cause
what you're describing is like
00:31:23.091 --> 00:31:25.041
this two way street to humility.
00:31:25.161 --> 00:31:27.441
First, you have to be humble yourself.
00:31:27.791 --> 00:31:31.571
You have to take the position of
being a humble person and then
00:31:31.571 --> 00:31:35.861
you have to approach others in
humility and work out whatever
00:31:35.861 --> 00:31:38.621
their challenge is in a humble way.
00:31:39.281 --> 00:31:46.421
But to, to do really hard work, you have
to be not arrogant, but ambition driven.
00:31:46.826 --> 00:31:51.176
You have to have some kind of,
you know, uh, courageous optimism.
00:31:51.536 --> 00:31:56.906
How do you, how, how do you be that kind
of person, but do it in a humble way.
00:31:56.966 --> 00:32:00.446
What advice would you say to
somebody who's young, who has
00:32:00.446 --> 00:32:02.246
these big dreams and wants to
00:32:02.281 --> 00:32:04.766
Ernesto Sirolli: Uh, uh, uh,
it is happening right now.
00:32:04.766 --> 00:32:07.141
I have people writing to me
to say, I'm working for a.
00:32:07.576 --> 00:32:11.566
Uh, foundation and we are doing work
in Africa and we are going to arrive
00:32:11.566 --> 00:32:16.966
there and we are giving them internet
and, uh, solar panels and, and so
00:32:16.966 --> 00:32:18.496
I have lots of people doing that.
00:32:18.496 --> 00:32:23.386
And, and my point is that be
incredibly, uh, uh, what you do that
00:32:23.386 --> 00:32:29.386
is one part is education and one part
is, uh, responding to local needs.
00:32:29.566 --> 00:32:34.366
So what you do, speak at every single
conference, tell everybody what you wish
00:32:34.366 --> 00:32:37.066
to do, and then wait a way to be invited.
00:32:37.811 --> 00:32:39.911
Only work by, uh, in response.
00:32:40.091 --> 00:32:40.451
So what
00:32:40.451 --> 00:32:42.461
you do, you, you do lots of educating.
00:32:42.461 --> 00:32:45.011
You go around, you speak at conference and
00:32:45.011 --> 00:32:48.521
you say, look, we, uh, you know,
we help people by doing this,
00:32:48.521 --> 00:32:50.291
this, and that, and then go away.
00:32:51.356 --> 00:32:55.616
Uh, because when you do that, then you
receive a telephone call from the ccb,
00:32:55.646 --> 00:33:01.136
from the leader of that, uh, tribe that
says, look, we, this is a real case,
00:33:01.436 --> 00:33:08.636
uh, in, uh, in, uh, um, uh, in Chile,
uh, somebody, uh, the CHE leader.
00:33:08.926 --> 00:33:13.336
Uh, got in touch with me to say, you
know what, we will like, uh, we have
00:33:13.336 --> 00:33:19.396
some forestry, we have some, uh, we
produce some renewable, uh, timber.
00:33:19.756 --> 00:33:24.706
What we will like is to have some
electricity, maybe with some solar panels,
00:33:24.766 --> 00:33:28.516
and we would do not want electricity
in the houses, in the private houses.
00:33:28.516 --> 00:33:34.396
We would like to put a, uh, a array
of panels on top of the one factory
00:33:34.396 --> 00:33:35.926
that is manufacturing this, uh.
00:33:36.376 --> 00:33:38.386
Income for the village and we
00:33:38.386 --> 00:33:40.336
would like to have some
electric machinery.
00:33:40.696 --> 00:33:42.796
Uh, that's why we need electricity.
00:33:42.796 --> 00:33:46.336
But we don't want to have electricity
in all the houses because there is
00:33:46.336 --> 00:33:47.296
no demand.
00:33:47.296 --> 00:33:50.596
We are quite happy the way
with the traditional way.
00:33:50.926 --> 00:33:55.006
So my point is that go around the
world, tell everybody what you want to
00:33:55.006 --> 00:33:59.836
do, what you are prepared to do, and
then go away and wait to be invited.
00:34:00.406 --> 00:34:01.996
Because imagine the alter.
00:34:02.026 --> 00:34:03.856
Imagine if doctors.
00:34:04.391 --> 00:34:07.961
Would stop people in, in the
street to say, you are pale.
00:34:08.351 --> 00:34:10.061
I don't like the way you look.
00:34:10.091 --> 00:34:11.411
Uh, you are overweight.
00:34:11.621 --> 00:34:12.851
People will say, go away.
00:34:12.851 --> 00:34:14.351
What are you talking about?
00:34:14.471 --> 00:34:14.681
It's
00:34:14.681 --> 00:34:15.251
my
00:34:15.276 --> 00:34:16.146
Giancarlo Newsome: give you a shot.
00:34:16.181 --> 00:34:18.341
Ernesto Sirolli: you are
stopping me in the street.
00:34:19.901 --> 00:34:20.381
See?
00:34:20.561 --> 00:34:24.611
So my point is that you see, so
a very simple, we can educate as
00:34:24.611 --> 00:34:29.471
much as we want, but then we have
to have the decency of
going away
00:34:29.471 --> 00:34:31.361
because we are not missionaries.
00:34:32.141 --> 00:34:35.021
We don't believe that our
way is better than their way.
00:34:36.251 --> 00:34:43.661
I wish I had a kid that's is, was
so fantastic as this little Mexican
00:34:43.661 --> 00:34:48.371
kid or the, the kids that I've
seen in the mountains of ne Nepal.
00:34:48.611 --> 00:34:52.571
I wish, you know, we were so fortunate.
00:34:53.291 --> 00:34:59.141
So my point is that who, who the
humility is to say who the hell we think.
00:34:59.861 --> 00:35:00.311
Uh,
00:35:00.641 --> 00:35:06.011
we are to go uninvited, enter
a house uninvited to teach the
00:35:06.011 --> 00:35:08.501
person how to educate her daughter.
00:35:08.681 --> 00:35:11.231
How dare we see?
00:35:11.771 --> 00:35:17.051
How dare we, that's humility to say,
to understand that there is so much
00:35:17.051 --> 00:35:22.121
beauty, so much wisdom, so much culture,
uh, that is different from our culture.
00:35:22.121 --> 00:35:24.311
But so what could be ,better?
00:35:25.162 --> 00:35:28.462
Giancarlo Newsome: but you know, Ernesto
and Brandon, to wrap up here, I, I wanna
00:35:28.462 --> 00:35:33.052
put a challenge out to anyone who's a
corporate leader or institutional leader.
00:35:34.192 --> 00:35:40.012
Um, when you look in the mirror,
like Ernesto said, if you have
00:35:40.012 --> 00:35:43.102
a hard time looking in the eye
of that person in the mirror.
00:35:44.167 --> 00:35:46.237
Don't be threatened by that.
00:35:46.297 --> 00:35:50.797
Embrace that discomfort and just know
that's, that's that quiet calling to
00:35:50.797 --> 00:35:57.817
humble yourself because all the corporate
leaders that let's say are, are sending
00:35:57.817 --> 00:36:03.877
equipment, sending money, sending help
where it's not wanted and welcome.
00:36:04.897 --> 00:36:08.347
We know you, we can't look in
the mirror and be proud of that.
00:36:08.797 --> 00:36:13.507
Even this week in some of my work, uh,
you know, it was, I had a frustrating
00:36:13.507 --> 00:36:19.597
situation where it's still happening
way too much and I think it's hard
00:36:19.597 --> 00:36:25.027
to live with ourselves when we,
when our conscious tells us that
00:36:25.027 --> 00:36:28.117
ultimately we're exploiting others.
00:36:28.777 --> 00:36:31.507
And I think the root of pride.
00:36:32.557 --> 00:36:34.297
Is ultimately death.
00:36:34.297 --> 00:36:35.797
I, you know, it, it is strange.
00:36:35.992 --> 00:36:38.947
Ernest, Ernest, not to get philosophical,
but I, I remember this venture
00:36:38.947 --> 00:36:42.637
capitalist that I helped find a bio,
a wonderful congress from wonderful
00:36:42.637 --> 00:36:44.257
people who took great advantage.
00:36:44.287 --> 00:36:46.267
They were the, the epitome
of vulture capital.
00:36:47.017 --> 00:36:50.107
He ended up committing suicide
'cause he couldn't look
00:36:50.107 --> 00:36:51.307
himself in the, in the mirror.
00:36:51.427 --> 00:36:56.017
I, I, I say
he, he succumbed to pride.
00:36:56.782 --> 00:37:02.092
And even if you don't succumb to
suicide, you can, I think, to help me
00:37:02.092 --> 00:37:03.442
to look in the mirror and feel good.
00:37:03.442 --> 00:37:07.012
I think we all saw the joy, Brandon,
that, that Ernesto had someone who
00:37:07.072 --> 00:37:10.822
embodies empowering humility, who,
who knows that it's just, who sees
00:37:10.822 --> 00:37:13.072
the beauty in every human being.
00:37:13.852 --> 00:37:17.722
Because first, like you mentioned, we
acknowledge it in ourselves, but I,
00:37:17.722 --> 00:37:23.482
I really think that we have a little
bit of a crisis of, of humility.
00:37:24.292 --> 00:37:28.522
A lot of our corporate leadership,
especially in America where we've, we've,
00:37:28.612 --> 00:37:33.412
we've kind of sold ourselves on certain
areas of success at the expense of others.
00:37:33.412 --> 00:37:37.492
And I, I know a lot of folks
like me and I, I can confess,
00:37:37.492 --> 00:37:38.632
I think I was one of those.
00:37:38.632 --> 00:37:42.352
So I just wanted to give a
challenge that, you know, empowering
00:37:42.352 --> 00:37:46.462
humility may be a little hard at
first, but boy, when you finally.
00:37:46.872 --> 00:37:50.892
Embrace it and you can finally realize
you don't have to have all the answers.
00:37:51.522 --> 00:37:53.952
Every other human being
is as valuable as you.
00:37:55.087 --> 00:37:59.827
And how kind of exciting and
creative it is to, to, to discover
00:37:59.827 --> 00:38:02.317
the beauty of every human being.
00:38:02.977 --> 00:38:05.197
It's, it's, it's a ball of fun.
00:38:05.257 --> 00:38:07.747
Every time I talk to Ernesto,
I just have so much fun.
00:38:07.747 --> 00:38:08.797
So thank you, Ernesto.
00:38:09.157 --> 00:38:13.657
I hope, uh, to my corporate friends
who are, who are wearing the golden
00:38:13.657 --> 00:38:15.667
handcuffs, I remember talking about that.
00:38:16.537 --> 00:38:20.587
Um, embrace humility and, uh,
Brandon, any other thoughts?
00:38:21.430 --> 00:38:24.550
Brandon Giella: Well, all I can
say is I'm very glad that Giancarlo
00:38:24.550 --> 00:38:28.630
invited you to this podcast so that
we could have this conversation.
00:38:29.200 --> 00:38:32.140
Thank you so much for your
wisdom, your expertise.
00:38:32.170 --> 00:38:34.690
I know you've been doing this
for 40 years, speaking in front
00:38:34.690 --> 00:38:38.770
of literally millions of people
now, 65,000 organizations.
00:38:39.250 --> 00:38:40.150
Incredible work.
00:38:40.150 --> 00:38:40.990
Thank you, Ernesto.
00:38:41.485 --> 00:38:41.995
Ernesto Sirolli: Bye-bye.
00:38:42.325 --> 00:38:45.205
Was lovely speaking to
you, Brandon Giancarlo.
00:38:45.505 --> 00:38:46.915
We will be in touch soon.
00:38:47.275 --> 00:38:48.595
Uh, absolutely.
00:38:48.595 --> 00:38:52.255
Lovely to speak to you about this
kind of topics which are really,
00:38:52.255 --> 00:38:54.745
really, really important in this time.
00:38:54.745 --> 00:38:56.695
There are too many people who are lost.
00:38:57.355 --> 00:38:59.125
Uh, they don't know
who to believe anymore.
00:38:59.125 --> 00:39:02.845
They don't know how to live, and
they have to start to look inward.
00:39:03.445 --> 00:39:07.795
And do some, some work on themselves
first, uh, free themselves.
00:39:07.825 --> 00:39:09.115
Liberate yourself.
00:39:09.655 --> 00:39:12.535
Start to have a little bit
of compassion for yourself.
00:39:13.015 --> 00:39:16.975
Uh, start to, uh, come to a point
where you can love yourself.
00:39:17.755 --> 00:39:18.445
Giancarlo Newsome: Amen.
00:39:19.225 --> 00:39:20.275
Thank you Dr.
00:39:20.275 --> 00:39:20.695
Oli.
00:39:20.795 --> 00:39:21.065
Brandon Giella: here.
00:39:21.215 --> 00:39:21.725
Ernesto Sirolli: Okay.
00:39:21.740 --> 00:39:22.640
Giancarlo Newsome: Thanks, Brandon.
00:39:22.835 --> 00:39:23.345
Ernesto Sirolli: guys.
00:39:23.705 --> 00:39:24.185
Brandon Giella: Bye.
00:39:24.185 --> 00:39:24.845
See you.
00:39:25.145 --> 00:39:25.595
Thank you.
00:39:25.830 --> 00:39:26.320
Ernesto Sirolli: Bye-bye.