TRANSKRIPT 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.120
I would ask permission if it was okay to even have that dialogue.
00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:04.799
Because again, it's a safe space for them.
00:00:04.959 --> 00:00:09.119
They might not want to talk about anything having to do with work and leadership and business or whatever.
00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:10.880
Like, listen, kid, I'm just here to try to.
00:00:11.119 --> 00:00:14.080
You just rolled into the smartest, small town of the fitness.
00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:27.039
Yeah, we're building it up.
00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:30.800
Smartest small time fitness.
00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:35.520
Merry Christmas.
00:00:36.399 --> 00:00:37.520
Christy Funny.
00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:40.880
A podcast for personal trainers.
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:42.719
Let's get to work.
00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:45.359
Should your clients become your friends?
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:53.359
Now we know from doing a bunch of the trainer circuits with personal trainers that are going through the BCPTI program.
00:00:53.520 --> 00:01:05.519
You've talked about the early days of Christmas in the gym, personal training, and a lot of your clients not only became friends, but also mentors in regards to your leadership trajectory.
00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:08.159
But there could be some blurry lines here.
00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:10.400
So we'll just kind of start with that basic question.
00:01:10.640 --> 00:01:12.159
Should your clients become friends?
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:14.959
I wouldn't say should, but I wouldn't say shouldn't.
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:17.040
If it happens organically, then sure.
00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:24.640
I think if you have like a set expectation, like I'm going to make sure that my clients all enjoy training with me so much that they want to be my friend.
00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:37.120
I think that happens from an organic nature of the beyond the fact that you're helping them to accomplish their goal, there's some mutual interest and backgrounds and whatever it might be, that kind of opens up that that opportunity from a friendship perspective.
00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:42.239
But they hired you to do a job, and the job they hired you to do is help them accomplish their goal, whatever that might be, right?
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:44.319
So I think that's that's first and foremost.
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:48.319
Like that's the focus or the foundation of like where that relationship starts.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.719
And then yeah, it can grow and blossom into something different, right?
00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:55.680
How do you toe the line of your professional boundaries and a friendship when that's forming?
00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:00.560
Because it's still you've got to build them at the end of the day and all the rest of it.
00:02:01.280 --> 00:02:07.840
I think for everyone's that different, and this again would be one of those things that I think could be potentially controversial for the Smithizens out there.
00:02:08.240 --> 00:02:16.800
But me as a dude, first and foremost, and then also the way my brain works is I can compartmentalize things pretty easily, truthfully.
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:18.240
But I'm also transparent with it.
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:20.960
So I'd be like, hey Chrissy, I really enjoy training you.
00:02:21.039 --> 00:02:24.000
Uh really enjoying like where we're at with our relationship, that's that.
00:02:24.159 --> 00:02:37.199
I know you've invited me like to go out and hang out with you and your buddies, you know, a couple times, and I just want to let you know, like the reason that I said no is I don't want to blur the line in terms of like where we have like our professional relationship, and because to me that's kind of outside of the scope of we do.
00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.199
So I just want you to know why I've been saying no to that.
00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:45.840
Because I've spent some time thinking about it, and I would love to kind of come meet your friend circle, but I don't want it to mess up what we have in the facility.
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:55.039
So do you think if if I did go kind of come hang out with you and your your friends at this concert or this music festival you told me about, do you think that would blur it or how would you feel about that?
00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:56.319
Because you did invite me.
00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:58.080
I'm just I just wanted to be open about it.
00:02:58.240 --> 00:03:00.719
So you could just frame it, right, and just be transparent.
00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:02.400
But that's kind of where I would go with it.
00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:07.520
Now, if it's a specific one-on-one scenario, that's probably not a friendship, right?
00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:16.319
That's not like, hey, let's come hang out, or we're all going to the beach and there's this thing going on, or I'm playing beach volleyball with this group of people, or I'm gonna go do this run club thing at with all these other people.
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:18.560
Like if it becomes one-on-one, let's go hang out.
00:03:18.639 --> 00:03:20.240
That's that's not let's be friends.
00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:21.520
How do you navigate?
00:03:21.759 --> 00:03:31.680
Because I'm sure this potential blurring of the boundaries can happen even within your organization amongst the client trainer relationship.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:33.840
So how do you kind of manage that?
00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:42.000
Well, you message it, right, first and foremost, and you try to teach them tools to recognize like what signs or what things are appropriate or not appropriate and those types of things.
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:45.199
I mean, for us, like we only do the training inside the facilities.
00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:48.400
It's very rare that we're going, like we're not gonna come train people at their homes.
00:03:48.639 --> 00:03:50.479
Um, there's folks that do that, we don't, right?
00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:51.680
That's not what we're about.
00:03:52.080 -->
Load full transcript
00:04:00.080
Um but yeah, there's just different things you gotta equip people to kind of understand and recognize, and then truthfully, it's also teaching our managers to look for the signs, right?
00:04:00.159 --> 00:04:02.800
Like if you see this or see that, like make sure you call it out.
00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:06.879
And again, I'm trying to help people all be kind of safe and protected from themselves, right?
00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.159
Not put them in a situation.
00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:14.479
Yeah, certainly there's some reputation management stuff out as an enterprise business, but at the end of the day, it's also about them, right?
00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:16.000
And like what's in their best interest.
00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:30.240
Well, and also maybe let's talk about it from the client perspective, because a personal trainer has a very vested and significant relationship with this individual when it comes to helping them become the best version of themselves.
00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:36.240
That is why somebody literally signs a paper to commit to I'm gonna go to this many sessions in a gym.
00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:44.879
And depending on where they are in life, that could be the highest level of care that's really been focused on themselves, which could feel different.
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:51.199
So it gets misconstrued, but it's just because they've never had that need fulfilled, which then can really blur a line.
00:04:51.680 --> 00:04:53.360
Yeah, I mean, I I think it's interesting, right?
00:04:53.439 --> 00:04:55.920
I think a lot of times people are looking for what they don't have.
00:04:56.639 --> 00:04:56.879
Right.
00:04:57.040 --> 00:05:01.040
So if I don't have money, I'm looking for someone with money.
00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:01.839
Right?
00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:15.839
If I'm out there single looking to mingle, if I'm someone to your point, from a self-care perspective, I've never really cared about myself or I feel like no one's ever really cared about me, and now I've got this person making this super invested interest in me to go, well, gosh, this person really cares about me.
00:05:16.000 --> 00:05:22.000
This must be because they really want me or like me or think that this, that, which could be completely false, right?
00:05:22.079 --> 00:05:30.879
They just might be doing their job and doing it so well that you believe that, yeah, there's some type of you know, interest that goes beyond that of the professional nature of it all, right?
00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:42.240
And they're just the consummate professional who's just giving again, giving the best world-class customer service they can around, you know, delivering the program, doing it in a timely way, being energetic, being fun, making you laugh, like you're you know what I mean?
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:46.800
And it's like, wow, this feels like more than and it might just be they're just really good at their job.
00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:48.079
How do you coach?
00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:49.920
Because I've seen this come question come up.
00:05:50.079 --> 00:06:01.680
I follow the personal trainer threads on Reddit, and it comes up a lot of handling that conversation if it starts to edge that way, because you also don't want to crush your client's confidence.
00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:17.839
So, how would you coach a trainer that came to you with exactly this situation of I'm providing this great customer service experience, but I'm concerned, like we've been friendly and there's like a friendship there, but I'm concerned that maybe they're wanting to push the boundary a level more.
00:06:18.000 --> 00:06:22.879
Like, is that something where all of a sudden you should file or fire a client and refer them to someone else?
00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:24.240
Or how do you manage that?
00:06:24.480 --> 00:06:39.040
Yeah, I'm gonna give a kind of a funny answer back to So I had a if I had a young lady trainer and I've given this advice to young women, and if they have like an older gentleman or gentlemen that are like, you know, asking them out all the time or hitting on them inappropriately or whatever, I say, I said, what are you doing about it?
00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:40.399
And they're like, I'm asking you for advice.
00:06:40.480 --> 00:06:41.279
Like, what do I do?
00:06:41.439 --> 00:06:43.439
I said, Well, make it so they can't talk.
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:45.519
Like, what do you mean, make it so they can't talk?
00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:49.920
I said, Well, do HIT training, do something where like they can, they're just they're struggling to get oxygen, man.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:52.079
There will be no flirting with you going on.
00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:57.680
They'll just be like, like, they'll just be like, How much more of this do I gotta do?
00:06:57.920 --> 00:07:02.240
Like, you're doing great, keep it up, let's go! I'm so proud of you today, you're crushing it.
00:07:02.399 --> 00:07:03.920
Woo! Here we go.
00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:06.000
And that'll stop it real quick, right?
00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:07.040
Like that'll go away.
00:07:07.199 --> 00:07:10.720
Now, again, I say that jokingly, but I've like legitimately given that advice to people in the past.
00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:12.480
Say, yeah, give it a go, see how that goes.
00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:15.120
To all the way to say, Yeah, you just gotta tell them like they need to stop.
00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:21.279
And there's some times where I've had some people that like even then they wouldn't, and then as the manager, I would step and say, Hey, can I can we got a minute?
00:07:21.519 --> 00:07:24.079
Hey, just to let you know, like this and that is what I've been told.
00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:26.240
If you do it again, like they won't be your trainer anymore.
00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:27.120
Do you understand?
00:07:27.279 --> 00:07:29.279
Like, it's not appropriate, right?
00:07:29.360 --> 00:07:31.360
Because sometimes people don't get the message.
00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:35.360
But and again, we're in a different world now, but I've been doing this a long time as we spoke about.
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:39.199
But yeah, I've seen the full spectrum of you know what I call idiot behavior.
00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.319
I'm sure.
00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:43.360
And one day I hope to crack the lid of more of the idiot behavior.
00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:44.240
So I'm not sure.
00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:45.920
That's like a whole separate book.
00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:47.439
That's like a whole book.
00:07:47.680 --> 00:07:48.639
Oh, it's slip.
00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:50.720
That's an Easter egg that you just dropped.
00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:56.879
Maybe, but that's a whole book I'd have to write someday on just that topic alone because the stories, yeah.
00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:58.800
That one's not PG 13 either.
00:07:59.040 --> 00:07:59.439
That's fair.
00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:06.160
I'm sure there's a lot of but that's kind of the dark side of where it can go, but something very real that a lot of trainers would face.
00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:12.319
But I know on the other side, I mean, you met some of your greatest mentors through by nature of your work.
00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:17.680
Yeah, I mean, I had some clients that were great mentors to me, recommended different things I do as I was growing my professional career.
00:08:17.839 --> 00:08:24.480
I wouldn't say I was friends with them, but it was more than the client-trainer relationship, or at least they saw it that way.
00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:26.160
And again, I was asking permission.
00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:28.560
It would be okay if I talked to you about this during our session.
00:08:28.720 --> 00:08:33.440
Yeah, I'm curious about what you do at work or how you lead people or what books do you read or whatever.
00:08:33.519 --> 00:08:36.799
But I would ask permission if it was okay to even have that dialogue.
00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:38.480
Because again, it's a safe space for them.
00:08:38.639 --> 00:08:42.879
They might not want to talk about anything having to do with work and leadership and business or whatever.
00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:46.000
Like, listen, kid, I'm just here to train because I was a kid then, right?
00:08:46.080 --> 00:08:47.279
Like, I just want to work out, bro.
00:08:47.360 --> 00:08:48.559
Just let me sweat, all right?
00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:49.840
Like, shut your mouth.
00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:53.039
And, you know, I think luckily for me, none of my clients really did that.
00:08:53.120 --> 00:09:03.120
And I had a lot of, you know, pretty successful clients at the time with Nike and Adidas and Apple and other, you know, Intel, some pretty, pretty, you know, big companies that were able to kind of give me direction, right?
00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:04.320
So it was helpful.
00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:06.559
Let's head to the trainer circuit.
00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:08.879
Real questions, real situations.
00:09:09.120 --> 00:09:12.480
Chris shows up, listens, and mentors from experience.
00:09:12.799 --> 00:09:21.919
Looking back on your 30 years of your journey, what do you believe is the single most important factor in helping people achieve lasting fitness results?
00:09:22.240 --> 00:09:23.039
That's a big question.
00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:24.080
Big question.
00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:26.000
I mean, I had like an immediate answer.
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:28.960
I just want to think about it a little bit and make sure it's it's true.
00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:32.399
I mean, I I was telling a young man this morning one of our clubs an opener, right?
00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:33.440
I got to the club pretty early.
00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:38.639
He'd been there since five, we were chatting it up, and I was just talking to him about, you know, happiness, right?
00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:40.879
And where does it come from, enjoyment and satisfaction?
00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:42.320
I was referencing like Dr.
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:45.759
Arthur Brooks, who's like a happiness guy that I follow and listen to.
00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:49.919
And for me, I became a trainer to like make a difference and help people.
00:09:50.000 --> 00:10:03.279
And it made me happy to do that because I loved the human body and movement and training and what it did for me, and then the ability to then pay that back or pay it forward, however you want to think about it, with other people was a thing that that hooked me and kept me from the beginning, right?
00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:05.679
So, like I think that's why I would how I'd best answer that question.
00:10:05.919 --> 00:10:06.480
Question, though.
00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:07.919
Deep one, right out of the gate.
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:09.279
Going we're going deep.
00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:11.039
Sorry, that's me.
00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:15.759
Yeah, that's good flexibility too, right?
00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:16.639
Did you guys see that?
00:10:17.039 --> 00:10:17.519
Slow-mo.
00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:18.399
Boom.
00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:24.720
Before we wrap, we'll leave you with a smithism, a lesson Chris has picked up along the way.
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:31.840
Well, we've kind of rambled on a few things today, but I have to say, if I was boiling it down, I think we're talking about communication, right?
00:10:31.919 --> 00:10:38.960
And so I just think in communication, again, whether I'm a personal trainer, somebody trying to grow my career, young, old, whatever, it doesn't really matter.
00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:41.200
But it would be the two ears and one mouth.
00:10:41.440 --> 00:10:43.600
So listen twice as much as you talk.
00:10:43.679 --> 00:10:53.360
Um, it's something that I've been really working on, even truthfully personally, as a as a CEO, if you will, over the last kind of five or six years, is just really trying to shut up and listen.
00:10:53.519 --> 00:10:57.039
And so you got two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk.
00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:00.480
If you think you're the smartest person in the room, you're fucked.
00:11:00.960 --> 00:11:02.399
That's today's Smithism.
00:11:02.720 --> 00:11:07.279
Chris Smith is the mayor of Smittyville, and I'm Chrissy Van, your town correspondent.
00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:09.840
This is the smartest small town in fitness.
00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:12.399
We'll see you back here every other week.