TRANSKRIPT 🔗
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Hi everyone, and welcome back to Rewriting the Illness Story.
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Today's podcast is gonna be a little bit different because I am in a hotel room.
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I have been traveling for work, and I just finished up the Avatar course It was great to see people peeling back the layers of self-doubt and negative self-talk, and learning to decide for themselves who they are And also to learn to navigate the world by our senses instead of just by sight and being super cerebral like we start doing from a young age.
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I think we really lose the ability to connect with others and really feel the sensory perception from our environment that's coming in I didn't do the intro and the outro on today's episode because I was trying to mess with it, and I'm having a really difficult time doing it.
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I don't have a laptop that I take with me when I travel,.
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So I've just been trying to fix everything on my iPad, and it's not working so great, and I'm having volume issues.
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So I'm just gonna leave it off today's episode.
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I just wanted to connect and share a little bit I apologize for how monotone the next part sounds, but sometimes when I'm trying to gather my thoughts, things don't come out so smoothly.
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I was actually telling my neighbor that if somebody had said to me,"Oh, you just need to be more positive," or,"Look on the bright side, don't have such negative thoughts," when I was going through all my issues with chronic pain, that I probably would have wanted to punch them in the face.
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If I hadn't lived through this experience, I probably wouldn't believe in what I'm saying at all.
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But this has undoubtedly been my journey, and I do know that the more that I appreciate and trust life and relax, the less pain I'm in the less I decide that there is something wrong with me, and I just trust myself and know that I'm supported and loved, and that everything is gonna work out, and that I can handle anything coming my way.
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i'm an adult now, so I'm usually pretty good at finding solutions to any problems.
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I'm not stuck in this negative loop that creates a lot of pain and negative energy and feeling bad about myself because I feel awful, and it really to me seemed like it created like an energetic pain bubble that I existed in until I started surrendering and accepting.
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I'm so excited to report that my GI issues have been much better couple months ago, I quit weighing myself, where as I was measuring, how much I could splurge or kinda what I could get away with depending on what the scale said, instead of really eating what my body needs and listening to my body and keeping things on the right track that way.
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So I feel like I am much more balanced now and eating what I want and not depriving myself And really not even worrying about it The insomnia has gone away, which is fabulous.
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I'm so glad that's over with.
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I think it was just because I was so excited to be putting out the podcast, and a lot of times I would work on it late at night.
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So I think I was just having a lot of nervous and excited energy and Things have really calmed down in that aspect I have a book recommendation if anybody is interested in it.
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It's called Feelings Buried Alive Never Die by Carol K.
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Truman, and she was talking about a concept like where We always wanna fix something in the other person that we don't like about ourselves because we project our flaws that we don't wanna claim about ourselves onto other people, or even traits that we're afraid of having.
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for me, that would be people that are heavy, And then I'm like,"Oh, I don't like it when people don't take care of themselves," and, I'm not perfect at taking care of myself either.
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Clearly.
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I've had a lotta issues.
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but she was saying it's easy to judge other people and try to remove the tree from their eye instead of focusing on yourself and trying to change the things about yourself that you don't like and be responsible for your own behavior.
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Instead, we're judgmental of other people instead of loving them and being supportive of them with good boundaries, of course.
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But what I found very interesting was she was saying that when we act in opposition and think that everything should be going according to the way that we think it should be because we think that the world should go according to what we want that we're taking ourselves out of the way that God wants things or the universal life force that is designing what is happening And we're trying to control life by what we think is right and what our values are or what our expectations are instead of surrendering and being appreciative, that we take ourselves out of the flow, and then we fight against what is and it creates dis-ease or unease.
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And then we have these physical manifestations of that in our bodies.
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And it's really important to realize that we're all perfect exactly as we are with all of our imperfect flaws.
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Having compassion and surrendering to what is keeps us in alignment with what the universe is unfolding before us and by not trusting and finding fault with things and deciding that things are wrong and shouldn't be happening when they're clearly happening And rightfully so, or that wouldn't be what is happening.
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It creates a disconnect and creates stress and worry, and it contributes to disease I've really been leaning into appreciation and trust, and being really honest with myself, and having discipline and not making excuses.
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Part of it is really having the positive self-talk and not giving into the thoughts of,"Oh, well, why even bother?" I've gone through and listened to a lot of the episodes, from doing all of the editing, I've noticed a common thread within the episodes is to really believe in yourself and find true healing work through either journaling or doing some kind of IFS type therapy where you're witnessing yourself and accepting all those things from your past that you may have shame or grief or any area in your life where you really feel like you can't accept yourself or the things that have happened to you.
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It seems to me like that is really the true healing work, accepting all the aspects of yourself and having unconditional love and support and integrating all of that so you no longer feel bad about different circumstances in your life and they no longer hold a charge You no longer feel like you need to blame somebody else or yourself Versus doing some kind of modality where you're really focused on doing XYZ and it takes the focus away from you and puts it on doing something correctly in order to get a outcome that you want we constantly are recreating things from the past that we don't like and carrying them into our future.
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So I think that's why getting in touch with those things and releasing them helps to move that energy out.
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And knowing that you are fully supported as a human being, a piece of the divine and everything is always working in your favor.
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Focusing on the solution instead of the problem will get you closer to the solution.
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It's not just believing in God or the universe, it's believing that God and the universe believes in you, wants the best for you, and that the solutions you are looking for are already here There is nothing wrong with you and there never was And there never will be because we are all part of the universe, little pieces of divine energy.
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I can't imagine that a creator would have created us broken and made us so that we had to spend our entire lives abiding by some kind of rules to attain our salvation or suffer.
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Our birthright is joy and love now, not when we attain something or succeed at something or retire or get to some new goal or level.
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It is definitely within, and we already have everything we need Thanks for joining me today