Take the Action, Surrender the How | Carrie Fabris

WEBVTT
00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:14.720
Hi friends, this is Wendy Harrup, and welcome to the Say Yes to Yourself podcast.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:32.960
On the Say Yes to Yourself podcast, you'll hear stories from women just like us who are adding the practice of saying yes in their daily lives in big and small ways, and as a result are experiencing the truth that everybody wins when you say yes to yourself.
00:00:33.280 --> 00:00:40.880
Saying yes to yourself is a graceful unfolding, an intentional becoming of the very best version of you.
00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:50.079
It is my hope that in these conversations we are able to find our truth and be inspired and empowered to live our very best lives.
00:00:50.320 --> 00:00:57.759
I'm so excited to go on this journey with you, and I look forward to finding a bit of our own story in each other's.
00:01:13.840 --> 00:01:33.680
After spending the weekend in Normandy at Walnut Grove Cookery, I spent this week creating beautiful memories with the gorgeous Jessica Hickman-Woolcott of the Cognac Jewelry School, whom I've been playing with all summer.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:39.599
We've been thinking and dreaming and scheming about the offerings for next year.
00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:43.519
And we did some filming at the beach last week.
00:01:43.680 --> 00:02:14.479
We did some filming in gardens this week, and we took the train to London and visited the London Gem Show because we'll be creating some more magical trips around these gorgeous yet overwhelming trade shows and bringing a level of expertise and comfort and uh curated concierge guest experience to these really epic places to go.
00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:21.759
It's so fun, and I love how these yeses are just opening the door to the next yes.
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:30.479
We have also um started inviting people into the antiques trip with Sarah and George Hasslett.
00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:32.960
So there's a lot going on over here.
00:02:33.120 --> 00:02:38.319
If you miss a week of the podcast, I don't know, you might take a while to catch up.
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:42.000
But links to all of those fun things are down in the show notes.
00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:50.319
I would love to have you join me here in France for any of these fun things that we're up to together.
00:02:50.639 --> 00:03:00.080
But until then, let's enjoy this gorgeous conversation with the absolutely fabulous Carrie Fabriz.
00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:18.719
After more than 20 years of climbing the ladder at companies like Google, Travelocity, Sabre, and multiple startups, Carrie found herself raising two young kids and staring down a pivotal question: if I could do absolutely anything, what would it be?
00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:28.960
The answer led her to launch Career Frame, a coaching and consulting firm that now partners with companies to help executives and teams unlock their full potential.
00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:47.199
Whether she's sharing lessons from her book, all in a working mom's unapologetic quest for a juicy life, which helps women see they don't need to choose between ambition and motherhood, or unpacking the frame it method and return on energy frameworks.
00:03:47.520 --> 00:03:59.039
Carrie brings humor, real-world stories, and a clarity that leaves audiences thinking differently about leadership, ambition, and what it truly means to thrive.
00:03:59.360 --> 00:04:06.560
This was an epic conversation, and I am so delighted to share it with you.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.319
Please enjoy Carrie Fabrizio.
00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:16.800
Carrie, I've already decided that you're one of my favorites.
00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:47.680
But this feels like the most yummy version of speed dating and with totally vetted, aligned, cool women that I didn't even have to leave the house to meet.
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:48.399
It's so cool.
00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:49.120
I love that.
00:04:49.199 --> 00:04:52.639
I'm gonna have to get your events on my calendar and come see your bed and breakfast.
00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:54.079
It all sounds amazing.
00:04:54.319 --> 00:04:54.720
Thank you.
00:04:54.879 --> 00:04:56.720
It's all dreamy and fun.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:11.519
And I know that we are together in this moment because you are also dreamy and fun and making fabulous things and beautiful opportunities for your clients and everyone you work with.
00:05:11.680 --> 00:05:13.360
It's just so gorgeous.
00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:14.959
And I cannot wait to hear more.
00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:17.199
Let's dive in and I'm excited to talk about it.
00:05:17.360 --> 00:05:19.279
Thank you so much for having me on your show.
00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:20.879
It's my great pleasure.
00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:26.800
So I would love to start by asking, how are you saying yes to yourself in this season?
00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:29.199
There are a lot of ways I'm saying yes.
00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:37.199
I'm over 50, and once you cross that milestone, you just care less about so many things.
00:05:37.360 --> 00:05:41.439
You're just like, why did I build that up to be such a big deal when it's just really not?
00:05:41.519 --> 00:05:44.000
It's just more fun, just going, whatever.
00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:44.879
Right.
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:50.079
I am saying, so the season that I'm in is very much.
00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:53.199
So I I I'm fairly intuitive.
00:05:53.360 --> 00:06:02.160
Um now, sometimes it's a it is a battle with the self-talk, and I'm like, no, my intuition is trying to take over, and the self-talk, you know, gets loud, but into intuition wins.
00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:09.120
And how I'm saying yes to myself in this season is truly allowing myself for this next level of growth.
00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:10.720
So I'm very big into growth.
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:12.879
I'm always going to invest in myself.
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:21.680
And specifically, I am saying yes to learning how to do better with meditation, to be totally on.
00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:26.800
If I'm gonna get real specific, it is something that I think is very important.
00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:28.959
Terrible at it.
00:06:29.279 --> 00:06:32.879
Ooh, um, I'm fast-paced, I'm, you know, go, go, go.
00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:42.560
And and this the season is very much telling me to slow down, to be softer versus let's do it hard, punch, go.
00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:55.759
Um, and I think that having a meditative practice, whatever that looks like for me, is is something that is feeling intuitively that it needs to come into this season of my life.
00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:59.759
Um, I'm also in a season of observation.
00:07:00.160 --> 00:07:05.360
One of my best friends was like, you know, I'm I'm noticing you observing more.
00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:11.279
So, you know, I I'm a Gallup certified strengths coach and I'm an activator, which means let's freaking go.
00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:12.000
Let's do it now.
00:07:12.079 --> 00:07:12.800
Let's do it yesterday.
00:07:12.879 --> 00:07:13.920
You know, move, move, move.
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:15.120
I have two speeds.
00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:16.639
They are right now or not at all.
00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:17.360
There you go.
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:17.759
Yes.
00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:20.000
So that that's how I, that's usually how I stay.
00:07:20.079 --> 00:07:24.879
And so to slow down, to pause, to observe is is kind of new.
00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:35.439
And to get that feedback from someone who knows me so well and just like, I am noticing you stopping and you're observing a situation versus just reacting to the situation.
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:38.879
And so that that season feels really good.
00:07:39.040 --> 00:07:50.480
Just saying yes to the pause, saying yes to a new growth path that happens to be around meditation, um, saying yes to uh we just launched our new website.
00:07:50.560 --> 00:08:02.879
So the season with the business is really wanting to do more group and teams and facilitation and building this amazing team that is doing a lot of the one-on-one support.
00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:08.319
And so there's this a season personally and professionally that's really happening right now.
00:08:08.560 --> 00:08:13.439
And um, I cannot wait to see how it unfolds, like at the end of 2026.
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:16.160
Like, what what did I where did I get to?
00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:18.399
Like, how am I am I meditating?
00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:20.639
Do I have this amazing bigger team in place?
00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:21.600
Like, what's happening?
00:08:21.759 --> 00:08:24.560
So those are all the things that are really on my mind and my heart right now.
00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:27.199
Oh, it's all so yummy.
00:08:27.439 --> 00:08:30.480
I so many things that you said in there.
00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:31.680
I love it.
00:08:31.920 --> 00:08:41.759
I love this pause, this awareness, and this growth through delegation.
00:08:42.159 --> 00:08:42.480
Yeah.
00:08:42.720 --> 00:08:56.799
And how you're managing that with the personality traits and strengths that have served you up until now, but they're still gonna serve you, but in a different track.
00:08:56.960 --> 00:09:02.639
And it's so gorgeous because what I've learned, I have a meditation practice as well.
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:13.200
And what I'm learning even more, I have a really dear friend and a business partner in a venture that we have in France together.
00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:23.759
She's a meditation coach, and what she is teaching me is that meditation is all about observation.
00:09:23.919 --> 00:09:26.639
You know, obviously the goal is to quiet our mind.
00:09:27.120 --> 00:09:29.840
The goal is not to have no thought, right?
00:09:30.000 --> 00:09:36.960
It's just to observe the thought, yeah, and then release the thought and then go back to the stillness.
00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:42.240
So it's this you're already doing it, which is so great.
00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:53.600
And as the I'm older than you, um, so as the future version of yourself, I have one beautiful piece of insight that you can take or leave.
00:09:53.840 --> 00:09:55.440
Oh, no, can't tell me, tell me.
00:09:55.679 --> 00:10:02.320
Because I'm I feel like I have a similar strategy and personality type to with you.
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:16.879
And the year that focus was my word of the year, I was kind of mad about it because I thought it meant do less, but I realized it meant do less better.
00:10:17.200 --> 00:10:17.519
Yeah.
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:24.960
And a phrase that came to me after meditation that was very pivotal to me.
00:10:25.120 --> 00:10:27.679
Sorry, this is like such a long way to tell you these feelings.
00:10:27.919 --> 00:10:32.879
No, I'm here for it is safe to be at rest.
00:10:34.240 --> 00:10:34.720
Yeah.
00:10:34.960 --> 00:10:44.559
And I can hardly say that without crying because so much a part of my not quieted mind says, I don't know about that.
00:10:44.799 --> 00:10:45.120
Yeah.
00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:52.399
Well, because perhaps we're so used to running from the pain, running from the trauma that we didn't feel safe in.
00:10:52.480 --> 00:10:54.080
And so I can, I can that relates.
00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:55.679
I can relate to that for sure.
00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.639
My word for 2026 is expand.
00:10:59.840 --> 00:11:03.279
Just again, just gorgeous, bigger, better.
00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:16.320
But I read something about a lobster and how a lobster will grow in its shell, and then the shell basically they it the lobster sheds the shell.
00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:16.720
Okay.
00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:18.639
And then just kind of gets beaten up.
00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:26.240
It's raw skin, it gets beaten up by the ocean water, the sea, you know, the this the salty water.
00:11:26.559 --> 00:11:37.600
And through that experience and the, you know, the resilience through the beating up and the toughness of the water builds this new bigger shell.
00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:45.039
And so it's almost like the lobster is like a sponge of the the of the water and everything that's in the water.
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:54.000
So if you think water's life and everything that's in life and the experience of life, and it grows bigger and fatter, and then it builds a new shell.
00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.159
And then eventually it sheds that shell.
00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:58.000
And here we go, the cycle again.
00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:04.080
And I was like, that's kind of the expansion that I think a lot of us go through, whether we realize it or not.
00:12:04.240 --> 00:12:16.799
It's just the the beauty, the, the ups, the downs, the sloppy sideways of life, the mess, the beautiful messiness of life is what helps us uh grow and build these bigger shells that we grow into.
00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:18.159
But we we do outgrow them.
00:12:18.399 --> 00:12:22.080
We outgrow them and we gotta, and so we we just constant expansion, really.
00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:32.799
Yes, and being in such alignment that that outgrowing something feels like evolution, not failure.
00:12:33.120 --> 00:12:35.919
Yes, yes, yes, for sure.
00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:38.159
Evolving is is is key.
00:12:38.240 --> 00:12:40.399
And and the thing is too about just because you mentioned failure.
00:12:40.480 --> 00:12:42.080
I mean, failure is part of the evolution too.
00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:44.080
Failure is just lessons, that's all it is.
00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:52.240
Feedback and lessons of what to do differently and what what not to do, what to keep doing, you know, start doing, stop doing, all of those things.
00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:52.799
Right.
00:12:52.879 --> 00:13:01.039
I think so much of that comes from, and again, for me, it happened at 50 was giving myself permission.
00:13:01.360 --> 00:13:01.759
Yes.
00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:11.039
So permission to dream, permission to have a big life, permission to want, permission to make mistakes, permission to force correct, permission to fail.
00:13:11.200 --> 00:13:15.360
And again, like I don't fail sounds to me like final.
00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:22.799
And since this is all an experiment, I don't consider any of it failure.
00:13:23.039 --> 00:13:23.440
Yeah.
00:13:23.679 --> 00:13:30.559
And you know, it's also there's permission, and then there's also another an additional way to look at permission is just allowing.
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:38.559
I think, especially we women really struggle with not only giving ourselves permission, but again, and we're saying the same thing.
00:13:38.720 --> 00:13:49.200
Permission, allowing, same thing, but just allowing ourselves to feel a certain way, allowing ourselves to go, to go dream, to go do something, to say something, to feel something.
00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:56.480
Um, you know, I have my book all in, and it's why in the subtitle, it's a working mom's unapologetic quest.
00:13:56.799 --> 00:14:10.799
And, you know, I wrote that in my 40s, but it just was like, we I think it's I think it's powerful to be unapologetic when and allow and give yourself permission to go do things because you're the only person that's in charge of you.
00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:12.480
Nobody else is in charge of you.
00:14:12.639 --> 00:14:14.559
Nobody else has control over you, just you.
00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:14.879
Right.
00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:16.480
I think a lot of times we forget that.
00:14:16.639 --> 00:14:18.399
It's real easy to like blame somebody else.
00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:22.240
Well, I can't do this because that person, bless like no, no, no, no, no.
00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:28.879
You won't do this because you're not allowing yourself to give yourself permission to go do the thing.
00:14:29.039 --> 00:14:29.519
Right.
00:14:29.840 --> 00:14:30.320
Right.
00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:31.360
Exactly.
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:46.320
And I love the ability that you have to have impact through being unapologetic, is because that came from a place of alignment, not a place of anger.
00:14:46.799 --> 00:15:03.360
Because sometimes we're just so hurt and so done that we're not saying sorry and we don't care who's mad about it, and f all you people, and yeah, and that is not yeah, that's not an unapologetic quest that can become a movement.
00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:21.679
But when in alignment we are unapologetic, and in alignment we are also invitational, we are inviting other people into their own version of aligned, unapologetic quest for a juicy life.
00:15:21.919 --> 00:15:37.519
Yeah, it's it's a beautiful tsunami of love because we're no longer reacting to what we don't want, we're allowing what is already here for us and stepping into that.
00:15:37.919 --> 00:15:39.440
Yeah, no, totally agree.
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:40.720
So, so fun.
00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:43.679
So, how did this come about?
00:15:43.919 --> 00:15:55.759
Like, how did you come to asking yourself the question that you know came into the book and then has now morphed into this beautiful empire that you're building?
00:15:56.080 --> 00:16:05.440
As far as could the the writing the book or being unapologetic or yeah, like I was reading in your bio that like you asked yourself this question.
00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:05.919
Oh, yeah.
00:16:06.159 --> 00:16:09.039
If you could have absolutely anything, what would it be?
00:16:09.200 --> 00:16:12.639
And like that's I ask myself that question every day.
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:14.080
So it's so fun.
00:16:14.320 --> 00:16:19.679
I love that you ask yourself that question every day because I think there's a lot of people who never ask themselves that question.
00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:21.519
So you're like next level, Wendy.
00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:22.639
You're asking yourself that.
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:29.759
So interestingly enough, since we started our conversation talking about, you know, the season that I'm in of just pausing.
00:16:29.919 --> 00:16:32.879
Um, I guess I've been there before because different.
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:33.759
It's still different.
00:16:33.919 --> 00:16:41.600
Um, but I I had a I had a moment to pause with work um to be full-time mom and I didn't last very long.
00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:45.600
I love my babies, but I was like, I really love having a career and I want to.
00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:48.159
It's a really short-term job anyway.
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:48.639
Yeah.
00:16:48.879 --> 00:16:50.960
But like my daughter's 12.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:51.759
Yeah.
00:16:52.159 --> 00:16:54.559
It's different than when she was five.
00:16:54.879 --> 00:16:55.440
Oh, sure.
00:16:55.600 --> 00:16:55.840
Yeah.
00:16:56.000 --> 00:16:59.360
And mine are now 13, 13-year-old daughter and almost 15-year-old boy.
00:16:59.440 --> 00:17:01.120
And so at the time, I see you.
00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:07.440
One, they were one and three, and I, you know, just love them so much and just they're the best kiddos ever.
00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:12.240
And um I just but I took a I took a moment to step out of corporate.
00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:23.440
And in that pause from the go, go, go, leading a team, constant travel, all the things, I I was just like, I kind of miss something.
00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:24.880
What is it that I miss?
00:17:25.200 --> 00:17:28.400
Um, and so then I did allow myself to ask that question.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:30.160
Well, if I could do anything, what would it be?
00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:35.039
And again, I don't think a lot of people do that because even if they ask that question, the self-talk starts.
00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:51.759
Somebody else's, you know, their parent, uh, you know, an aunt or uncle, a sister, a friend's voice pops up from their perspective and starts yapping in the person's head and they start listening to that voice versus listening to their own.
00:17:52.160 --> 00:17:56.160
Um, and at this point, I just was like, I mean, I love leadership so much.
00:17:56.319 --> 00:18:01.359
I think I just really there's a lot of people that are in leadership roles that really aren't good at it.
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:04.400
And it's because they were never coached on how to be a leader.
00:18:04.640 --> 00:18:06.960
They were promoted because they were good at the thing.
00:18:07.119 --> 00:18:07.359
Right.
00:18:07.599 --> 00:18:10.720
Well, when you get promoted to leading people, you're not doing the thing anymore.
00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:13.200
You're now leading people to do the thing.
00:18:13.440 --> 00:18:16.880
So I was like, you know, I think I can, I think I can help.
00:18:17.039 --> 00:18:21.680
So I just kind of put up my freak flag and decided I was gonna do this.
00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:34.640
And then um I went and got certif certifications and I studied and I went to seminars and I got a coach myself and I just immersed myself in, you know, what is what does this look like?
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:36.160
What what tool do I want to use?
00:18:36.319 --> 00:18:37.519
How do I build a framework?
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:40.160
You know, fast forward 10 years later.
00:18:40.319 --> 00:18:42.559
And I did fail halfway through.
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:43.519
I totally did.
00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:47.119
Um, and that was because I had way too much ego involved.
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:48.720
And I had to learn that lesson.
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:49.440
That's what I'm saying.
00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:51.839
Failure, failure was like I failed awesomely.
00:18:52.000 --> 00:18:56.559
And thank God, because I wouldn't be where I am with the business today if I hadn't.
00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:03.599
And so when I failed and realized, you just kind of looked in the mirror and realized why I had failed, I had some work to do.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:10.960
So then I went through another season where I said yes to coaches and Tony Robbins seminars and all the book getting up at the 5 a.m.
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:13.440
club to read, read, read, feed the brain.
00:19:13.519 --> 00:19:20.000
So 2019 was very much a year of transformation for me in order to step back into the business.
00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:24.799
And and then what I did, I did it, I did it right the the second time.
00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:25.920
And and then it showed.
00:19:26.000 --> 00:19:28.799
It showed in the clients that part client partners we were getting.
00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:35.200
It showed in the revenue that we were, that we were creating, the impact that we were creating, um, the partnerships.
00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:41.039
I mean, I've been with some clients three, four, five, six years, um, going on six years.
00:19:41.119 --> 00:19:50.880
Um, and so it's just been an awesome, awesome wild ride, all because I allowed myself the freedom to ask that one question.
00:19:51.119 --> 00:19:55.279
And then, and then to have no judgment of what my answer was.
00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:56.160
Right.
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:01.440
And and I think that that's key because sometimes if someone's like, okay, well, you know, if I could do anything, what would it be?
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:03.920
It's like, well, I mean, I could be a doctor, I could be a lawyer.
00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:05.440
Do you even want to be a doctor or a lawyer?
00:20:05.599 --> 00:20:05.839
Right.
00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:07.759
You know, I want to, I want to be an artist.
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:08.799
Amazing.
00:20:08.960 --> 00:20:10.079
Tell me why.
00:20:10.400 --> 00:20:14.960
And I'll and I'm always like, you know, don't don't answer it because it sounds good.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:19.119
Like again, allow yourself of what comes up.
00:20:19.440 --> 00:20:24.000
I mean, I think I want to be you in my next life, taking culinary trips to France.
00:20:24.160 --> 00:20:25.119
That sounds amazing.
00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:25.680
It is.
00:20:25.839 --> 00:20:38.559
Um, you know, in this life, at least this chapter season of of my life, it's it's really just getting totally geeked out by connection with leaders in in and uh professional environment.
00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:52.480
Because when you see the impact and the ripple effect that great leadership makes, um, I I I will tell you, I'm not even completely crystal clear on why I love watching that so much.
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:53.039
Right.
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:54.319
Do you have to be?
00:20:54.559 --> 00:20:56.480
I guess I guess not because I'm just like, right?
00:20:56.720 --> 00:20:57.599
I just love it.
00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:00.559
It lights me up and and it gets me excited.
00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:08.400
And it I think it just feels good to know that like I was part of helping this person figure it out for themselves.
00:21:08.559 --> 00:21:09.599
I didn't figure it out for them.
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:10.319
Right.
00:21:10.400 --> 00:21:11.359
You held space.
00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:13.200
I helped them figure it out, right?
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:21.359
And it just it feels it feels amazing and to see the to see the success and then to build, you know, to create raving fans in your business.
00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:25.039
You know, and like whenever someone's like, Oh, I I was asking myself, what would Carrie say?
00:21:25.119 --> 00:21:28.079
I mean, what did whenever someone says that, I'm like, oh, really?
00:21:28.799 --> 00:21:29.920
Like, what did I say?
00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:31.200
Was it I know, right?
00:21:31.359 --> 00:21:32.400
But did it help you?
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:34.079
It's all that matters, right?
00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:35.279
Yeah, so it's so fun.
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:53.039
So, you know, I really I've I've had the amazing, just I mean, top full of gratitude for this journey that I I created for myself that then has had a an impact, a ripple effect on other people and companies and organizations.
00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:54.559
And I just want more of it.
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:55.680
I just want more of it.
00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:56.799
You know, same.
00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:57.680
I just want more of it.
00:21:58.079 --> 00:21:58.960
Same and same.
00:21:59.119 --> 00:21:59.359
Right.
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:03.279
And I Love that gosh, everything.
00:22:03.359 --> 00:22:04.720
It's all so yummy.
00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:19.680
So I love that you had this original experience, and then that didn't work out, and it didn't work out in such a way that you didn't have a choice to ignore it.
00:22:20.240 --> 00:22:21.920
Sounds like it was kind of epic.
00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:32.720
And then you took a pause again, which so I'm super excited about the pause that you're taking now and what the up level will be on the other side of that.
00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:37.920
Um, because we just know great things happen when we do that.
00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:41.680
I feel this similarly when I go to France.
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:46.000
I have my 2026 travel calendar is delicious.
00:22:46.240 --> 00:22:47.599
I don't want to hear about it, Wendy.
00:22:47.680 --> 00:22:48.240
I really don't.
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:51.359
It's so I mean, I love being home.
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:53.200
I love being at home.
00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:54.960
I love being in France.
00:22:55.119 --> 00:22:58.880
And so it's all just yummy and amazing.
00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:06.480
And I'm obsessed with the woman I become on the other side of each of those trips.
00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:14.079
I I love that you say that because I think that sometimes when we hear the word obsessed, it there's almost like a negative connotation.
00:23:14.240 --> 00:23:19.359
But we must be obsessed with who we want to be.
00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:22.400
Because I just want to help people give a reframe on that word.
00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:24.559
If if they're thinking, like, I don't want to be obsessed.
00:23:24.720 --> 00:23:25.279
Yes, you do.
00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:25.680
I do.
00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:28.240
Because obsessed is basically passion.
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:29.039
Right.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:37.279
It is passion, it is drive, it is determination, it's resilience, it's uh decision, it's all of those things.
00:23:37.440 --> 00:23:45.759
So we must become obsessed with who we want to be and and future cast and and and like literally have conversation.
00:23:45.920 --> 00:23:47.839
I have conversations with future carry.
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:54.000
And and sometimes I will get a space, especially if I'm in a low, low space, I'm like, okay, shake it off.
00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:56.960
And I'm like, huh, and I visualize her.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.319
And it's interesting.
00:23:58.400 --> 00:24:01.440
The first thing I see are her eyes.
00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:07.200
And I will say that um, you know, I I hope all of us have our favorite feature about ourselves.
00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:09.680
My favorite feature about myself is my smile.
00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:13.759
But I don't see the smile first when I see future carry.
00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:19.759
I see her eyes, and they are so sparkly.
00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:21.599
They're sparkly, they're bright.
00:24:21.680 --> 00:24:24.799
And so I'm just like, what are you seeing?
00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:26.319
It like makes me tear up.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:28.000
I'm like, Red, I love her.
00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:29.119
I love her too.
00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:32.000
I'm like, what are you seeing that I don't see?
00:24:32.160 --> 00:24:33.599
Like, oh my gosh.
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:35.279
Like, I mean, it's it's it's crazy.
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:42.160
And so this is such a fun practice that I want to encourage your listeners to try.
00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:51.599
It's like literally just you get in a space where you're not interrupted and you just envision your future self and you will see your future self.
00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:53.920
Yeah, with your eyes closed, you'll you'll see them.
00:24:54.079 --> 00:24:56.160
And then what do you notice first about them?
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:01.599
And if you're in a if you're in a dark place and you're not noticing something great, that's okay.
00:25:01.759 --> 00:25:02.799
Don't panic.
00:25:03.359 --> 00:25:05.519
It's like you can change that.
00:25:06.400 --> 00:25:07.920
You can change that.
00:25:08.240 --> 00:25:15.279
And so it's just it's a really interesting, it's a really interesting thing to do, just to envision future self.
00:25:15.519 --> 00:25:23.519
And the thing is too, is that we before we even worry about the how, and I catch myself doing this too, it's like, why are her eyes so sparkly?
00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:27.599
What what has what has she done?
00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:28.880
What has she felt?
00:25:29.039 --> 00:25:33.119
What has she experienced that has created this?
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.680
Cause I want on that track.
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:36.480
Exactly.
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:39.839
And, you know, we want to go super woo-woo on this.
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:48.799
I mean, I do believe that our future self literally is just there waiting for us to catch up in time, air quotes, right?
00:25:49.119 --> 00:25:52.400
Um, and it's it's just it's just fun to explore.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:26:00.559
It's fun to allow ourselves to ask these questions of what do we want to be, to have no judgment and and let your heart go wherever you want.
00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:02.559
And then you envision yourself like that.
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:10.559
And then I do, I really do think the universe is going to meet you in time and space if that's what you're projecting and that's what you're attracting.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:10.960
Yes.
00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:11.200
Right?
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:11.519
Absolutely.
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:15.599
And I think a lot, and I think a lot of us, self-included, we stumble.
00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:16.799
We stumble on that path.
00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:22.799
We stumble with the visualization and the the the the self-talk and the well, I can I the imposter syndrome.
00:26:22.880 --> 00:26:23.279
I could never.
00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:24.559
Why me?
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:25.519
Who am I?
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:26.880
All the things.
00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:34.640
And it's, you know, just standing guard at your your mind and just saying, Yeah, thank you so much, old story.
00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:36.880
I appreciate you being here.
00:26:37.039 --> 00:26:39.680
Now, if you'll please move to the passenger seat.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:40.240
Right.
00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:42.880
Or actually, if you could just get out of the car, that'd be great.
00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:43.599
Sure.
00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:44.160
Right?
00:26:44.480 --> 00:26:45.920
Back seat, self management.
00:26:46.720 --> 00:26:46.880
Right?
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:51.200
Happy to hear your insight, and you may not drive the car.
00:26:51.440 --> 00:27:04.720
I love all of these practices because you know, the whole concept of the show and saying yes to yourself and how that is not selfish, it's self-preservation.
00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:08.960
And yes, everybody wins when we say yes to ourselves.
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:17.519
I think our conditioning, or at least my conditioning, said, no, I need to be others focused, and that's my role.
00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:21.440
That makes me good at being me, is if everyone else is taken care of.
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:24.079
And that is not a sustainable model.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:37.279
And so, in this redirection and this um obsession with how I feel in my own body, this um discipline.
00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:41.759
I also have a morning practice and I'm committed to it.
00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:48.880
And, you know, just like you in yours and with your addition of meditation, it's like everything.
00:27:49.039 --> 00:27:53.920
Once you see a result, like when you get with working with leaders, the evidence, yeah.
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:58.559
Like once the result, it's like, okay, 445 cannot come early enough.
00:27:58.640 --> 00:28:02.079
Like, I can't wait to get at this again because it's so amazing.
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:09.119
And it's these practices that are a deep dive into ourselves that we're talking to our future self.
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:15.839
We're asking, like, I asked my future self all the time like, how did we navigate this divorce?
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:17.440
And how did we do it well?
00:28:17.519 --> 00:28:24.960
And how did we get to the place where I look like you in that fabulous dress that is not currently in my closet?
00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:28.079
When I see her, I always notice her fabulous dress.
00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:28.640
Yes.
00:28:28.880 --> 00:28:43.920
All of these makings of allowing us to be high on our own supply then allows us to be in service to our families, to our clients, to the listener of this podcast.
00:28:44.160 --> 00:28:57.119
The impact has so much more potency because of this dedication and commitment to our own personal alignment.
00:28:58.000 --> 00:28:58.559
Yes.
00:28:58.960 --> 00:29:07.200
And so with my book All In, a lot of people ask me, Carrie, what is what does all in mean?
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:09.599
And I always have the same answer.
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:13.039
And it's whatever it means to you for you.
00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:23.519
Because again, we're all programmed with uh somebody else's belief system that has shaped our belief system.
00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:31.200
And the awesome thing about being human, especially adult human, is every day we wake up, we can decide to change and evolve on that belief system.
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:35.920
And like you said, it's about being selfish or self-preservation.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:41.200
That was the whole, that's basically the whole premise of all in of my book.
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:52.880
And my book starts with the flight attendance announcement that it says something every time we fly, and we're always on our phones and we don't pay attention to it.
00:29:52.960 --> 00:29:57.440
And of course, it's the put your mask on first before assisting others.
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:16.079
I start the book with that because I actually heard that comment because of the state of mind I was in on that flight to London by myself, leaving my amazing husband and two beautiful babies behind, because I needed to go just get away from the responsibilities of everything here.
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:17.920
Everything was beautiful and healthy at home.
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:19.039
It was nothing like that.
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:21.680
It was, I love you humans so much.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:27.359
I need to go take care of me so I can be the best mama bear ever.
00:30:27.519 --> 00:30:29.279
I've got some things I gotta sort through.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:40.799
And I just want to go be whimsical in one of my favorite cities on the planet and go up spend an entire day at Harry Potter World and not be not have to pack a backpack or make a lunch, you know?
00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:44.319
And I was putting my own mask on first.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:53.279
And I was doing it again unapologetically, not rude or pitchy, just I love you all, which is why I'm doing this.
00:30:53.519 --> 00:30:53.759
Right.
00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:59.680
I love you and I love you and I love you, but I need some time away.
00:31:00.079 --> 00:31:03.039
Yeah, like this this is this is something that that needs to happen.
00:31:03.279 --> 00:31:10.079
I love that you said selfish and self-preservation, because if I'm talking to someone and I hear them talking about, well, it just feels so self-centered.
00:31:10.559 --> 00:31:11.920
And I'm like, okay.
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:18.240
And so then I'll talk to them and kind of distract them a little bit, and I'll go, so how might you center on yourself?
00:31:19.039 --> 00:31:20.480
And then they answer the question.
00:31:21.920 --> 00:31:24.799
And I'm like, you know, it's just saying the same thing.
00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:27.839
Self-centered, centered on yourself.
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:32.400
It just sounds better to center on yourself.
00:31:32.720 --> 00:31:42.000
You can be self-centered as long as, again, it's not saying some miracle effect that's going to hurt other people on purpose, be destructive.
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:46.400
I mean, I think we're all we all know what bad self-centered looks like.
00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:46.799
Right.
00:31:47.039 --> 00:31:48.079
We're not narcissists.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:55.200
No, so I think to put like a you know universal on self-centeredness isn't is not okay.
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:58.960
It's there there are categories when we need to be self-centered.
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:04.640
And then there's categories when being self-centered really just does not does done bode well.
00:32:04.799 --> 00:32:06.480
But I I love that you brought that up.
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:19.759
Yeah, um, you know, I think we are all going through these mental gymnastics every day of what will people think and what will people say, and can I really do that?
00:32:19.920 --> 00:32:25.359
And what if it doesn't work and la la la and all these things that can keep us stuck.
00:32:25.599 --> 00:32:34.880
And what I've determined is that ready is not a feeling, it's a decision.
00:32:35.200 --> 00:32:42.079
So we're making a decision to take one step, not one foot in front of the other.
00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:49.279
Like we're just taking one step, and then it's this commitment to continue to take the one step.
00:32:49.599 --> 00:32:52.799
We're not gonna get a game plan of how this is all gonna work out.
00:32:52.960 --> 00:33:02.160
You can meditate all day long, and the universe will still not deliver the entire game plan because you're co-creating it at the same time.
00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:03.200
Yes, I love that.
00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:08.720
And it's so it's beautiful to be able to take these steps.
00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:32.480
And you know, you even mentioned being crystal clear, and it reminded me I was recently in Cartagena and in this gorgeous artisan shop, and this darling couple were in there, and the guy was trying on all these straw hats, and he was darling, so they all looked great on him, and he was like, I don't know, I'm not sure.
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:34.319
Like he sounded like a woman, actually.
00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:36.799
He was like, I don't know, I'm not sure.
00:33:37.119 --> 00:33:38.400
What do you think of this one?
00:33:38.559 --> 00:33:39.759
And she was like, It's great.
00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:41.440
And then the next one, it's great.
00:33:41.599 --> 00:33:50.000
Like uh it sounded like a roar role reversal, and then he was like, Well, I'm not a hundred percent sure.
00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:56.640
And I just looked at him and said, Are you 51% sure?
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:59.920
Because we're all strangers, we think you look amazing.
00:34:00.160 --> 00:34:02.400
This is your person, she thinks you look amazing.
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:03.599
Can we go with 51?
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:07.039
And then you're also like, and it's a hat, right?
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:09.920
And it's like, what is oh my gosh, dude.
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:11.840
It's a hat, right?
00:34:11.920 --> 00:34:13.199
Here's my card.
00:34:13.519 --> 00:34:20.400
I love to offer some coaching to you of how you can say yes to yourself and you can even leave that hat in the hotel and not take it home with you.
00:34:20.559 --> 00:34:33.760
Like it doesn't matter, but it was so fascinating and it I think it became so aware and ludicrous to me because I rarely hear those words coming out of a man's mouth.
00:34:33.920 --> 00:34:36.960
Yeah, and I appreciate that about men.
00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:44.000
Yeah, and I love that it reminded me that I only have to be 51%.
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:45.760
Yeah, I love that.
00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:50.880
Like it's okay, and I can course correct because I'm only taking one step at a time.
00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:51.440
Yeah.
00:34:51.599 --> 00:34:59.760
There's a question that I have asked myself over the years, and I also ask clients as well on occasion, if bit organically it presents itself.
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:02.000
And it's the question of how serious are you?
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:09.280
And it's just it's a similar thing, like if to your you know, your your question about like or your comment about it's okay if you're not a hundred percent sure.
00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:14.480
So my outlook on this is but are you serious about it?
00:35:15.199 --> 00:35:18.079
Because either you're serious about it or you're not serious about it.
00:35:18.159 --> 00:35:30.639
And the thing is, if we're just constantly talking about it, but we're not doing something with it, and I have to hold the mirror up to myself on things about this a lot.
00:35:31.199 --> 00:35:34.800
Like, okay, I'm just sitting here yapping and talking about it, but I'm not doing anything about it.
00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:39.840
So if I'm not doing something about it, I probably am not real serious about it.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:42.079
So maybe I just need to let it go.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:42.960
Right?
00:35:43.280 --> 00:35:44.480
Or delegate.
00:35:44.719 --> 00:35:48.000
Or delegate and give it to somebody else or pat yeah, totally.
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:50.239
But it's a great question to ask ourselves.
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:53.360
So, like with that guy, it's like, well, how serious are you about the hat?
00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:54.880
Do you like well?
00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:55.599
I'm pretty serious.
00:35:55.679 --> 00:35:56.079
Okay, great.
00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:57.199
So we know we want a hat.
00:35:57.360 --> 00:35:57.760
Right.
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.840
Now, how serious are you about this one?
00:35:59.920 --> 00:36:00.960
How serious about that one?
00:36:01.119 --> 00:36:11.519
You know, and so it's just kind of helping, again, just puts up a little mirror that that just helps us think through something differently and feel something differently versus just going in circles about it.
00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:14.320
Cause, you know, we can all we're all guilty of that, I think.
00:36:14.559 --> 00:36:14.800
Sure.
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:22.320
Um, and I have learned that in my life, when something really matters and is really important, it gets done.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:22.719
Yeah.
00:36:22.960 --> 00:36:25.679
And so again, I I have to check myself too.
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:43.760
Like even with a business, if I'm like talking about how I want to go down this path and do this service, if I'm not truly focused on calling the right people, connecting with the right people, being in proximity to the right people to make these things happen, then I'm just saying it because it sounds good to say.
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:45.840
I'm I must not be real serious about it.
00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:48.800
Like I'm very serious about strengths.
00:36:49.039 --> 00:36:54.159
I'm very serious about team dynamics and workshops because I love it so much.
00:36:54.400 --> 00:37:00.400
I'm very serious about our frame it method, all of these things within the business.
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.039
I'm very serious about my children, my husband.
00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:06.079
Like it's it just you you know what you're serious about.
00:37:06.880 --> 00:37:09.679
And it's and it's not like the joker, why so serious?
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:10.239
Not that.
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:13.360
It's just it's it's what's meaningful, what matters.
00:37:13.679 --> 00:37:14.159
Right.
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:17.920
And then if it really doesn't matter, then just let it go.
00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:19.039
Let it go.
00:37:19.199 --> 00:37:24.960
Either let it go completely, or to your point, pass it to somebody else that might need something like that.
00:37:25.119 --> 00:37:33.039
But I think that we get in our own way because we we just talk about so many things, it just sounds so good because our ego loves it.
00:37:33.280 --> 00:37:33.599
Right.
00:37:33.840 --> 00:37:39.280
But in reality and practice, we're not doing anything about it.
00:37:39.440 --> 00:37:40.559
We're not taking action.
00:37:40.639 --> 00:37:49.760
And like you said, you can meditate all you want to the universe, but if you're just meditating and sitting here waiting for the universe to bring everything to you, I don't know that it works that way.
00:37:49.920 --> 00:37:55.440
I think it is meditation, it is alignment with the universe and action.
00:37:55.840 --> 00:37:56.960
Inspired action.
00:37:57.119 --> 00:38:01.360
Yes, in order to start having things work in your favor.
00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:10.320
Yeah, it's not just action and it's not just meditation, but these things together or whatever practice is is together.
00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:15.360
When I was in Cartagena, I was on a cruise with Abraham Hicks and they were talking about it.
00:38:15.519 --> 00:38:17.519
Oh amazing! Oh my gosh, it was so fun.
00:38:17.679 --> 00:38:18.400
Yeah, that was great.
00:38:18.880 --> 00:38:36.000
Talking about like you could have a vacuum and you're vacuuming, and everyone, your friends are outside looking at you through the window, and you're all in there under the couch and everything, and you're doing such a great job, but your vacuum is not plugged in, it's not effective.
00:38:36.159 --> 00:38:44.719
So this action can't make up with action what we haven't done energetically, but we're doing it together.
00:38:44.960 --> 00:38:48.400
And to your point about reading a thousand books as well.
00:38:48.559 --> 00:38:51.920
I'm rereading Who Not How by David.
00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:53.280
Great book.
00:38:53.519 --> 00:38:54.800
I did strategic coach for a year.
00:38:54.960 --> 00:38:55.440
Oh my gosh.
00:38:56.159 --> 00:38:56.800
So great book.
00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:59.199
And I actually did strategic coach because of that book.
00:38:59.440 --> 00:39:08.079
It's so good, and I loved how they said that procrastination is a sign from the universe that someone else should be doing this.
00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:16.559
And so, like, if we are talking about things but not taking action, there are so many elements to look.
00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:17.920
Do we really want it?
00:39:18.159 --> 00:39:20.800
Yeah, what's the point of that?
00:39:20.960 --> 00:39:23.599
Like, how do we want to feel on the other side of it?
00:39:23.760 --> 00:39:27.599
And is this like for some outside validation from someone else?
00:39:27.679 --> 00:39:42.880
And that's why it's not happening, but also just this recalibration of how is this in service to me and my impact now and what to do with it?
00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:44.639
All of that is so good.
00:39:44.800 --> 00:39:45.199
Yeah.
00:39:45.360 --> 00:40:10.480
And and and it's also just, you know, speaking of Dan Sullivan, I mean, now he talks about your unique ability, which I love again, being a strengths coach, because we talk about your unique talents and your unique strengths, and it's making sure that you are in your zone of genius and you are playing in your strength zone because it's all based on energy, what lights you up energetically down to what drains you energetically and owning that.
00:40:10.639 --> 00:40:10.800
Right.
00:40:11.039 --> 00:40:14.159
Like how many times I've coached people and they reject their top five.
00:40:14.239 --> 00:40:16.639
And I'm like, I help me understand this.
00:40:16.880 --> 00:40:18.400
Yeah, why do you think that is?
00:40:18.559 --> 00:40:21.920
I again I think that people like worry about how it looks, how it sounds.
00:40:22.000 --> 00:40:22.559
It's ego.
00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:24.000
Like it can't be easy.
00:40:24.079 --> 00:40:24.719
There's no way.
00:40:24.800 --> 00:40:28.159
Because if it's easy and I haven't done it yet, then what's my problem?
00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:33.280
Well, it's like, or oh, everything's a relationship building that makes me sound so gooey and ooey and emotional.
00:40:33.440 --> 00:40:34.719
I'm like, thank God.
00:40:34.960 --> 00:40:35.119
Right.
00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:36.000
We need you.
00:40:36.159 --> 00:40:37.119
We need emotion.
00:40:37.360 --> 00:40:37.679
Yeah.
00:40:37.840 --> 00:40:41.119
You know, we need the thinkers, we need the talkers, we need the doers.
00:40:41.280 --> 00:40:48.880
Um, and I just always want to help people embrace who they really are because it's uh I remind them like it's a self-assessment, buddy.
00:40:49.519 --> 00:40:57.119
Okay, like, like this is your data and you're rejecting you.
00:40:58.000 --> 00:40:59.760
So we gotta unpack that, right?
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:04.239
Where versus, you know, I use my strengths every day in what I do.
00:41:04.480 --> 00:41:13.679
And and I and and people see it because again, how I light up and I'm energetic and I'm extroverted and I'm, you know, I w I just I I use them every day to do with what I do.
00:41:13.760 --> 00:41:18.880
And and it's it's such a fun place to be because it makes things so much easier and more fun.
00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:19.440
Right.
00:41:19.840 --> 00:41:21.440
Because you're just doing what you love to do.
00:41:21.519 --> 00:41:26.639
And so we gotta be we gotta allow ourselves to do what we gotta do, play to our unique ability.
00:41:26.800 --> 00:41:28.320
There's so much good stuff in what you said.
00:41:28.559 --> 00:41:29.119
So much good stuff.
00:41:29.679 --> 00:41:30.800
And right back at you.
00:41:31.199 --> 00:41:32.960
So fun we're reading all the same books.
00:41:33.039 --> 00:41:36.159
I love Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:38.800
We talk about that all the time and be in the zone of genius.
00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:39.920
Zone of genius.
00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:46.880
And and and that was something, you know, it's like I had to look in the mirror and just go, and this is another reason why I really want to build this phenomenal team.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.000
I have a phenomenal team.
00:41:48.079 --> 00:41:55.360
I want it, I want more coaches because I am staying in my zone of excellence with the coaching.
00:41:55.519 --> 00:41:55.840
Right.
00:41:56.000 --> 00:42:00.320
And I will still coach because I have some clients that I am obsessed with and I love them.
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:02.239
I'm like, no, no, I'm not giving you in anybody else.
00:42:02.400 --> 00:42:02.559
Right.
00:42:02.639 --> 00:42:06.719
Um, but then there are some that you know that that just I think would be even better have that.
00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:08.639
We've gone as far as we can go.
00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:09.599
Yeah, exactly.
00:42:09.760 --> 00:42:17.679
And and my zone of genius is the facilitation, the group dynamic, the team, because I'm always watching, observing everyone, and they don't realize it.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:19.039
And I'm picking up on things.
00:42:19.119 --> 00:42:20.159
And I'm like, okay, hold on.
00:42:20.400 --> 00:42:23.599
If you all did this and then you watch the magic and that lights me up.
00:42:23.679 --> 00:42:33.760
And so, yeah, it's just, you know, for those of you listening that have not read Gay Hendrix, it's you know, gay of and there's the zone of incompetence, zone of competence, a zone of excellence, zone of genius.
00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:36.800
And you and we're all striving for that zone of genius.
00:42:37.039 --> 00:42:41.039
A lot of us, again, I'm guilty, get stuck in the zone of excellence.
00:42:41.360 --> 00:42:43.519
And then it's because of our upper limit problems, right?
00:42:43.679 --> 00:42:46.079
And so, yeah, that that's a that's a great book.
00:42:46.159 --> 00:42:46.719
I love gay.
00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:48.480
He's he is a delightful man.
00:42:48.719 --> 00:42:49.199
Isn't he?
00:42:49.360 --> 00:42:50.639
He's just the cutest.
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:52.480
Self-help grandpa.
00:42:52.559 --> 00:42:58.480
Oh, whiteboard, and oh my gosh, yes, he's so cute.
00:42:58.639 --> 00:42:59.119
Yes, he is.
00:42:59.360 --> 00:42:59.679
So cute.
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:00.159
He is.
00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:20.320
Um, I I remembered something that I was going to say when I was talking about these things that stop us, and I want to hear your thoughts about, you know, sometimes what keeps us from the things that we want to do is because we don't know how that can play out.
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:31.280
So a few years ago in um coaching session with Gina DeVee, I heard her tell me the how is not your responsibility.
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:31.840
Yep.
00:43:32.079 --> 00:43:39.280
And I was like, oh, thank God, like that made the sticky note right away, right on top of my computer.
00:43:39.599 --> 00:43:40.079
Perfect.
00:43:40.159 --> 00:43:40.960
Here we go.
00:43:41.199 --> 00:43:48.320
But I know that not everybody can hear that sentence one time and flip that switch.
00:43:48.559 --> 00:43:59.599
So, how are you working through big expansive plans, big, huge, juicy life, wanting to do all of these things and help all of these people?
00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:06.159
And not get trapped in the how, especially as you're expanding into this new season.
00:44:06.480 --> 00:44:06.880
Yeah.
00:44:07.039 --> 00:44:10.079
Um, I do get stuck in that trap sometimes.
00:44:10.400 --> 00:44:13.840
And I have high emotional self-awareness.
00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:16.159
So I'm also an emotional intelligence coach.
00:44:16.320 --> 00:44:25.199
So the assessment, I've done the assessment, I'm not just like labeling myself as high emotional self-awareness, but I do have a kind of a freakishly high level of self-awareness.
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:30.159
And so when I get into that trap myself, I I will usually catch it and I'll be like, hmm.
00:44:30.880 --> 00:44:34.880
And I I will back I'm really great at backing other people up.
00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:35.519
Sure.
00:44:35.760 --> 00:44:39.039
Then it's conscious, intentional backing myself up.
00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:39.519
Right.
00:44:39.840 --> 00:44:45.679
When we are achievers, we're kind of subconsciously wired to go from the what to the how.
00:44:45.840 --> 00:44:46.079
Sure.
00:44:46.320 --> 00:44:47.199
Straight, straight to.
00:44:47.280 --> 00:44:47.440
Okay.
00:44:47.519 --> 00:44:50.000
I know when it is, how am I going to get this done?
00:44:50.159 --> 00:44:50.400
Right.
00:44:50.639 --> 00:44:52.000
We're doers, right?
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:54.159
And we we have to back it up.
00:44:54.239 --> 00:44:55.679
It's very Simon Synetic.
00:44:55.840 --> 00:44:56.639
Start with why.
00:44:57.039 --> 00:45:00.239
And that's where that's where all the answers are.
00:45:00.800 --> 00:45:08.000
I think when we pause and we really allow ourselves to explore the why honestly.
00:45:08.559 --> 00:45:10.719
Sometimes it's a why not.
00:45:11.760 --> 00:45:14.400
We will start to get in alignment.
00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:14.880
Yeah.
00:45:15.519 --> 00:45:17.840
And that's when the house shows up.
00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:19.199
Absolutely.
00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:23.679
And and that does sound a little, you know, woo-woo, which I'm all I'm here for it.
00:45:23.760 --> 00:45:24.800
I'm all about being woo-woo.
00:45:25.039 --> 00:45:25.280
Yeah.
00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:29.199
Everyone listening to this podcast has not heard all of this for the first time today.
00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:29.840
That's great.
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:31.119
Thank goodness.
00:45:31.440 --> 00:45:32.960
Um, it is a little woo.
00:45:33.039 --> 00:45:34.480
And it's either, again, it's whatever you believe.
00:45:34.559 --> 00:45:37.920
It's universe, source, God, whatever your higher power is.
00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:40.880
Um there is there is magic.
00:45:41.039 --> 00:45:45.519
I mean, there's a couple stories that I share in my book, and I'll share one here.
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:51.599
Was when I decided to jump back into career frame, which is my ver the second time.
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:54.079
And I asked myself that question, how serious am I?
00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:59.760
And I was so serious that I was willing to do it without having any clients.
00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:02.800
How am I gonna do this?
00:46:03.039 --> 00:46:04.559
There's the how, right?
00:46:04.960 --> 00:46:07.199
And it was, I don't know.
00:46:07.440 --> 00:46:08.719
I don't know that I care.
00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:13.360
I just know I cannot, I will not stay in the situation I'm in.
00:46:13.599 --> 00:46:20.880
I was back in corporate, I had an amazing boss, loved my team, everything was really, really good.
00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:24.239
And I was miserable because I didn't want to be there.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:25.360
I wanted to be here.
00:46:25.519 --> 00:46:25.760
Yeah.
00:46:26.079 --> 00:46:35.039
So once I finally made the decision of, okay, I'm serious, like I want to do this, like I kind of don't care that I have no business lined up.
00:46:35.119 --> 00:46:41.360
I'm literally am I literally gonna walk away from a six-figure salary when we were not in great financial shape?
00:46:41.599 --> 00:46:46.079
Like kind of reckless what I did if we're being honest, if I'm being if I'm being honest.
00:46:46.400 --> 00:46:50.400
Um, and I told myself, okay, well, I'm getting a bonus.
00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:51.360
I hope.
00:46:51.679 --> 00:46:53.760
I need to find out.
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:56.159
So I I had already decided I was gonna resign.
00:46:56.239 --> 00:46:58.239
I wanted to resign, and so I was like, I could back it up.
00:46:58.559 --> 00:47:01.679
I think I'm gonna find out on like January 15th if I'm getting this bonus.
00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:02.159
Okay.
00:47:02.639 --> 00:47:04.239
Five-figure bonus, so not small.
00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:05.679
Didn't want to walk away from it.
00:47:06.320 --> 00:47:10.239
Then I needed to hit my bank account on January 31st.
00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:15.199
Then I probably need to count to five before I resign.
00:47:15.679 --> 00:47:16.639
There you go.
00:47:17.039 --> 00:47:27.039
So I don't know how I'm gonna make this career frame thing work with clients, but I do have a plan of what I'm the the action, right?
00:47:27.280 --> 00:47:34.559
The inspired action that I'm gonna take and this the the message I'm gonna send out to the universe about how serious I am.
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:37.840
So I get the call from my boss on the 15th.
00:47:38.000 --> 00:47:39.679
Congratulations, you're getting your bonus.
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:40.639
Congratulations.
00:47:40.880 --> 00:47:41.360
Amazing.
00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:42.800
I wait, I wait, I wait.
00:47:42.960 --> 00:47:45.199
January 31st, I pull up Chase app.
00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:47.199
Bam, it hit my account.
00:47:47.440 --> 00:47:47.840
Awesome.
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:49.199
Second thing done.
00:47:49.280 --> 00:47:49.519
Yep.
00:47:49.679 --> 00:47:50.880
I count to five.
00:47:51.119 --> 00:47:53.039
I was gonna call her on Friday.
00:47:53.199 --> 00:47:55.199
I think it was like February 6th or something like that.
00:47:55.280 --> 00:47:57.840
I was gonna call her on Friday and tell her.
00:47:58.079 --> 00:48:00.800
She called me Thursday late afternoon.
00:48:00.960 --> 00:48:05.840
Now, here's what was interesting is my boss and I, we rarely spoke.
00:48:05.920 --> 00:48:06.719
We had our one-on-ones.
00:48:06.960 --> 00:48:09.039
Okay, but outside of that, we rarely spoke.
00:48:09.119 --> 00:48:10.320
We were email and text.
00:48:10.480 --> 00:48:11.920
We were so so close.
00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:13.039
Adore her to her to this day.
00:48:13.360 --> 00:48:14.079
Amazing relationship.
00:48:14.239 --> 00:48:16.960
And she called me and I was like, why is she calling me?
00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:18.320
So I'm like, hello.
00:48:18.480 --> 00:48:23.920
So we talk and she wants to update me on some things that she's doing to the team and she's gonna post some positions, just want me to know about it.
00:48:24.079 --> 00:48:26.320
And then I just heard my gut just go, now.
00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:26.960
Yeah.
00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:30.079
So I said, actually, I have something to talk to you about.
00:48:30.320 --> 00:48:30.880
She's like, okay.
00:48:30.960 --> 00:48:32.239
And I said, I've decided to leave.
00:48:32.320 --> 00:48:34.960
And she's like, okay, talk to me.
00:48:35.119 --> 00:48:35.760
Because she knew.
00:48:35.920 --> 00:48:36.880
She knew that this is where I went.
00:48:37.199 --> 00:48:38.880
Of course, it's always a double blessing.
00:48:39.039 --> 00:48:44.960
So yeah, so so we're talking through it, and I just felt nothing but calm and peace in that moment.
00:48:45.119 --> 00:48:46.719
I wasn't excited, I wasn't scared.
00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:47.920
It was just calm and peace.
00:48:48.559 --> 00:48:50.639
Well, back up a little bit.
00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:53.360
This was February of 2020.
00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:57.440
We know what happened around February, March 2020 to the entire world.
00:48:57.599 --> 00:49:01.119
But if you this was February 2020, so it was also reckless.
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:02.880
There's this, you know, pandemic.
00:49:02.960 --> 00:49:03.440
It's fine.
00:49:03.599 --> 00:49:13.519
Um, but if you but back up, I had started talking to this media company in DC in 2018 about working with them, executive coaching, stuff like that.
00:49:13.599 --> 00:49:15.760
And they just really not nothing was progressing.
00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:17.519
So I finally just was like, okay, you know what?
00:49:17.599 --> 00:49:18.079
They're not ready.
00:49:18.159 --> 00:49:18.960
I'm just gonna leave it alone.
00:49:19.039 --> 00:49:20.079
I'm just gonna walk away.
00:49:20.800 --> 00:49:28.960
The day after I resigned, I get an email with an agreement to come in and be their executive coach.
00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:45.679
And it was one of those things where it was like, you knew what you wanted, you knew why you wanted it, you were serious about it, you took inspired action, and you just allowed the how to arrive.
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:46.159
Right.
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:48.559
You got out of the way, not perfect example.
00:49:49.360 --> 00:49:50.000
Perfect example.
00:49:50.159 --> 00:49:50.480
Gorgeous.
00:49:50.960 --> 00:49:52.079
That's how this works.
00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:52.480
Right.
00:49:52.719 --> 00:49:56.639
A lot, and a lot of us, you know, we've we either we know it, but we forget it.
00:49:56.800 --> 00:49:59.280
Um, we are scared to believe it.
00:49:59.360 --> 00:50:06.559
Um, the head trash, there's all these reasons and all these things that get in the way of just allowing more more opportunities like that.
00:50:06.639 --> 00:50:06.800
Yeah.
00:50:06.960 --> 00:50:08.960
And I am guilty of that.
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:10.559
I all the time.
00:50:10.800 --> 00:50:12.880
You know, I mean, it's it's just like, and I see it.
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:20.320
And and honestly, Wendy, thank you so much for this conversation because it is highlighting how I am kind of doing this again.
00:50:20.559 --> 00:50:22.480
And I'm like, there it is, Carrie.
00:50:22.719 --> 00:50:33.840
So when we get off with Wendy, we probably need to go sit and have some quiet and just say, we're gonna allow, we're gonna stop forcing this one thing, and we're just going to trust you again.
00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:35.280
The intention is out there.
00:50:35.440 --> 00:50:36.639
We've taken the action.
00:50:36.880 --> 00:50:50.880
Now let's just let the universe take care of it and trust that the universe is going to bring exactly what I am supposed to have next, what the business is supposed to have next, what my family is supposed to have next.
00:50:50.960 --> 00:50:56.639
And that is exciting because it's immeasurably more than all you asked or imagined.
00:50:56.960 --> 00:50:57.440
Always.
00:50:57.599 --> 00:50:59.039
And the universe has our back.
00:50:59.280 --> 00:50:59.920
Oh my gosh.
00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:05.599
When we're in the how, it could only get as big as our imagination.
00:51:05.840 --> 00:51:20.559
But when we surrender the how, which is not right, we're not surrendering the dream, we're surrendering the resistance to having what we want, then all the fairies of the universe totally together.
00:51:20.960 --> 00:51:23.280
When we are in the how we're in control.
00:51:23.920 --> 00:51:25.760
And to so I love that you said surrender.
00:51:25.920 --> 00:51:28.639
It's and again, that's such a great, beautiful mirror for me.
00:51:28.800 --> 00:51:33.199
It's like, you know, if I'm focusing on the how, it's because I'm trying to control the outcome.
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:36.239
The universe just sits back and goes, You're hilarious.
00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:36.719
Right.
00:51:36.880 --> 00:51:44.400
I'm just gonna sit here, but if that's all you want, yeah, let you try to control everything.
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:49.119
And as long as you're controlling it, if you're in control, then you don't need me to do anything, you know?
00:51:49.280 --> 00:51:52.239
So such a such a beautiful reminder.
00:51:52.480 --> 00:51:53.760
That's what I love.
00:51:54.159 --> 00:52:09.440
One of the many, many things I love about this podcast is that we are telling stories and we're reminding ourselves of how this has already worked in ways that were full of surprise and delight that we actually forgot about it.
00:52:09.599 --> 00:52:14.880
And that's when it happened, which is wacky, but it is how it worked.
00:52:15.039 --> 00:52:20.639
And I'm so happy that this was in service to you as much as it was to me and to our listeners.
00:52:21.039 --> 00:52:21.440
Thank you.
00:52:21.760 --> 00:52:24.880
I knew I was gonna love you, and I was right.
00:52:25.840 --> 00:52:33.760
Please tell everyone where they can find and follow you, how they can get their hands on both of your books and all of the good things.
00:52:34.000 --> 00:52:34.320
Yes.
00:52:34.559 --> 00:52:45.039
So all in Working Mom's Unapologetic Quest for a Juicy Life, as well as uh my children's book that I wrote for my son, Lucas, um, called Fans Are Fantastic.
00:52:45.199 --> 00:52:50.239
He's an Eurodivergent Kiddo, and fans are his biggest passion, have been since he was two months old.
00:52:50.480 --> 00:52:52.800
Um, both of them are on Amazon.
00:52:52.880 --> 00:52:55.760
And so you can either type in my name or you type in the name of the book.
00:52:55.920 --> 00:52:58.480
Um, they also are found on our website.
00:52:58.639 --> 00:53:01.119
So our website is careerframe.com.
00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:04.320
Um, we launched the website in March.
00:53:04.719 --> 00:53:08.079
And um, so and we also have a we have a quick quiz on there.
00:53:08.239 --> 00:53:15.599
So if you go there and you're in leadership and you want to understand a little bit more about your leadership style and your team, you know, please fill out the quiz, reach out to us.
00:53:15.760 --> 00:53:18.960
You can connect through connect with me directly through our website.
00:53:19.119 --> 00:53:20.719
Um, also I'm on Instagram.
00:53:20.800 --> 00:53:23.840
So you can find me on Instagram um as Carrie Fabrice.
00:53:23.920 --> 00:53:28.480
We we I don't do a lot as career frame on um Instagram because I'm just like, this is just me.
00:53:28.639 --> 00:53:30.800
This is my personal stuff, this is my business stuff.
00:53:30.880 --> 00:53:31.760
Like, this is what you get.
00:53:31.840 --> 00:53:33.280
When you get carrying, this is what you get.
00:53:33.440 --> 00:53:35.519
So yeah, and then and then of course on LinkedIn.
00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:39.840
I'm on LinkedIn, my marketing team and I, we post blog posts a couple times a month.
00:53:40.079 --> 00:53:47.920
We are doing posts of uh videos and content and just all the things about being the whole human that shows up for leadership.
00:53:48.239 --> 00:53:49.280
So good.
00:53:50.719 --> 00:53:56.480
Yes, we will link everything down in the show notes, but I know people want more of you because I want more of you.
00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:58.400
So we can make that happen.
00:53:58.559 --> 00:54:00.159
I'm excited to be us.
00:54:00.320 --> 00:54:00.639
Yes.
00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:02.320
Thank you so much for your time, Carrie.
00:54:02.480 --> 00:54:03.679
I've loved this conversation.
00:54:03.840 --> 00:54:04.639
Thank you, buddy.
00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:05.519
This was delightful.
00:54:05.679 --> 00:54:06.559
Appreciate it.
00:54:12.320 --> 00:54:15.920
I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did.
00:54:16.239 --> 00:54:26.159
As always, any links or notes mentioned can be found at PhineasRighthouse.com in the podcast section of our site or in the show notes below.
00:54:26.400 --> 00:54:34.079
And if you haven't connected with me personally, come find me on Instagram at PhineasWrighthouse and let me know you listened to this episode.
00:54:34.239 --> 00:54:35.920
I'd love to get to know you.
00:54:36.159 --> 00:54:38.239
Thank you for sharing this time with me.
00:54:38.400 --> 00:54:44.320
I know your days are full, and I'm really grateful that you chose to spend some of your precious time right here.
00:54:44.559 --> 00:54:49.519
Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of these delightful conversations.
00:54:49.679 --> 00:54:51.599
I'll see you next week.