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Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
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I know what you mean, Coo Cullum.
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
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Eating tonnes of fresh grass.
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What?
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Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
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milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
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Legendary.
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Ireland's grass and our farmers' commitment to more sustainable actions
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help make Irish dairy a true Irish legend. Always look
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for the National Dairy Council guarantee.
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That's the thing about doors. Open one and whole new
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worlds suddenly become possible. If you're searching for your new
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home in Leash, the first thing you need to open
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is MyHome, Ireland's trusted property platform. With custom filters, property
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alerts and a hub of advice available online or in app,
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it's the smart way to buy, sell or rent your home.
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Start searching and find your happy place at myhome.ie.
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Hi, my name is Ben Stiller. And I feel excited,
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yet I'm not holding my breath about being Conan's friend.
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And I don't mean that in a negative way. I
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just feel like maybe the ship has sailed.
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Hello there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
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This is the podcast where I search for friends in
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the world. It's a pretty natural thing to do. And
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it's working so far. I've made a bunch of friends.
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Very excited about it. I'm joined in my quest by
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my trusty assistant, Sona Movsesian.
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Hey, Sona.
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Hi, Conan.
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And Matt Gourley, the producer extraordinaire.
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Hi.
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How's it going?
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Good.
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This is an exciting one. We've talked to a lot
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of incredible people so far. This gentleman, I met him
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on Saturday Night Live way back in the day. He
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remains one of the funniest people.
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Ben Stiller.
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This is terrible. I wanted to start out on a
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positive note. No, no, no.
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I'm not holding my breath, but not in a negative way.
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No, I feel like I want to be your friend.
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I do want to be your friend. I don't see
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what the hindrance is. Well, I feel like it just
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hasn't happened yet, and we've known each other kind of for, what,
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maybe 30 years?
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Well, I wanted to get into that. We've known each
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other a really long time.
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I mean, is it 30 years?
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I feel like it's 30 years. I feel like it's
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back to SNL.
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I can tell you exactly the first time I saw
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the image of Ben Stiller. I was at Starnout Live
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and this tape came in and it was, I think
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we heard that this new guy might be coming. And
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I don't know if this is 1989, 88, somewhere around there.
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This tape came in and all I knew, all I
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heard was, you got to see this, you got to
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see this. And I watched it and it was you
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doing a Tom Cruise.
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Yes, a takeoff.
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And it was a takeoff. And I know, I remember
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Color of Money being in there. Was it all Color
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of Money or was it other scenes too?
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No, it was a takeoff on the Color of Money
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called The Hustler of Money.
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Yeah, yeah. And it was about bowling instead of pool.
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And it was a short that I made with, I
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was in a play, a play called The House of
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Blue Leaves that was running, I guess at that point
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it was on Broadway. It started at Lincoln Center and
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John Mahoney and Julie Haggerty and Swoozie Kurtz, all these
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people were in the cast and it was, The play
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was a big success. I had a small part, and
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it was like my first job. And I got everybody
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in the cast to be in this little spoof that
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I made, and then got it on SNL somehow.
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It was. So I remember exactly where it was.
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It was back in the writer's room, and there was
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a big, clunky VCR, and someone had it on a
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35-inch tape. It was back in the day. We had
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this giant brick, and we fed it in, and it
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was hilarious.
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It was hilarious.
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I remember you captured this... It must be out there somewhere,
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but you capture this face that Tom Cruise makes, this
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sort of joyous, cocky face.
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Yeah, his thing. His trademark.
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Especially in that movie, all those scenes where he was
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playing pool and kind of doing... I think he did
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some pool cue tricks.
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Yes, yes. I might be confusing it with cocktail.
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No, no, no.
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He's acting like, yeah.
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This was the phase of his career where he took
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mundane items and treated them like nunchucks.
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Some juggling training had come in to play there.
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Yeah, exactly.
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He played an obstetrician. He was throwing babies around.
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Exactly.
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So I saw that and then you came in and
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one of the first things that you did, it was
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your creation, was you played the actor who played Eddie.
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Munster as a kid. And you played him. He's grown up.
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But my favorite thing is in he's... He's bitter, and
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he's world-weary, grown-up star, but he still dresses as a monster.
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That was the character.
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Bitter, drunk guy with a monster outfit.
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And he's still dressed as, which is the most emasculating
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thing an adult could wear.
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I feel like that's the, you know, that's sort of
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the struggle that I think actors have, you know, where
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you're sort of trying to, disavow who you are, but
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also it is who you are too, you know? And
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I think that's something that it's hard, right? Like in celebrity,
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I feel like that's a thing. So it's probably hard
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because That was part of who he was. I'm trying
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to analyze Butch Patrick here. As young as... I'm sure
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he really
appreciates that. Butch Patrick, if you're out there,
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call in. That was the theory behind the character.
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Yeah, yeah. It was so.
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And then I could just see you had really funny ideas,
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but your commitment, your commitment and you were very precise
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about the things you were doing. If you were doing
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Tom Cruise, it was very well observed and very precise,
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and you're doing... You know, this grown-up Butch Patrick who's
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bitter about playing Eddie Munster, but he's dressed as Eddie Munster.
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It was very precise.
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And I remember thinking, because starting out live, it can
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be hit or miss at times. You know, it's a
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very– it's vaudeville. You know, it's vaudeville and it's live.
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It's live, yeah.
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And I remembered when you.
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That was the daunting thing for me was the live
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performing aspect because I wanted to make short films. That
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was what I felt.
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You wanted control. It wasn't control.
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I just didn't feel I was as good– doing live
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performing as I was, if I could have a few
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takes and I could, you know, make, I went to
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Albert Brooks.
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It was who I wanted to be.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Albert Brooks is the, he's the white whale, you know,
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like many people are chasing. And what was interesting to
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me is that you, you left SNL and you do
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the Ben Stiller show. And the minute that show came out,
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I thought, yes, here you can have your laboratory where
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you can get it just the way you want. You
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can make short films. You can get things exactly the
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way you want them.
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Yes, and that was purely because that was the only
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way I really knew how to do it. I didn't
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think of myself as a comedic performer, really. I wanted
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to be.
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I didn't know. I was trying to figure it out,
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I think.
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It's funny because I think now people would think of
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you as a comedic performer.
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Obviously, you're branched out.
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Right.
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But I'm not like a funny guy. I've said this
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many times. I've read it back in an interview like this.
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I'm not a funny guy. I don't think I'm funny.
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And I know that sounds like, what does that mean? Obviously,
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I do comedies or I've been in comedies. But I've
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never felt like I'm a self-generating comedic entity.
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Right.
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And I love comedy. Yes.
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I guess I think for a lot of people listening,
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that would be a surprise because– It's such a fine
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line between you've been so funny.
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I'm going to talk to some critics. Well, I don't know. Well, actually,
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we brought some here. Yeah, bring them on. Come on in.
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No, I mean, it's a thing that I've kind of
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tried to figure out over the years because I always
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love making movies and I love directing and I love
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directing comedy, too. I love working with funny people. So
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then actually having to be the guy who was sort
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of like the center of it, while it was fun
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as an actor to do it, it was never really
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my focus. That wasn't my dream as a kid. Yeah,
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it wasn't your passion.
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So I remember you do the Ben Stiller show. I
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go off in my direction. I work on The Simpsons.
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Then I'm doing the late night show. And you really
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early on started coming by the late night show. And
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it was fantastic because you would do these fully conceived
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bits that you would commit to. So you were known
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and famous as Ben Stiller, but you would come on
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and fully commit to the fact that you were in
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a revival.
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Of Jesus Christ Superstar. With Janine Garofalo. With Janine Garofalo.
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And what I loved about it was that there was
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never any winking or any, You were, no, this is
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what I'm doing now. And then you and Janine, and
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you had worked out this whole song called What's the Buzz?
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Right.
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And you're so passionate. What's the buzz? Tell me what's happening.
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Jesus Christ Superstar fans?
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I'm obsessed with that show. It's because my dream would
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be to play Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, except I
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can't sing or dance. And acting questionable. So that was
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a chance. First of all, you let us do it. Oh, yeah.
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So here was this person who we knew who was
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basically like one of us who was hosting his own show,
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which was the amazing thing.
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Right.
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The crazy thing. It was like, oh, my God, Conan
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is doing this. He's doing it for real, and he's
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going to let us do this weird, crazy thing.
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Yeah, I remember consciously thinking, I don't know how long
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I'm going to get to do this because at the
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time people thought this isn't going to last and they
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accidentally gave.
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This guy a show.
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So let's do all the things with our friends that
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we really want to do. And you kept coming back.
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It was amazing.
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I mean, it was amazing you were letting us do it. Oh,
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I mean, it worked for me too. I just was delighted.
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You came back and you did a musical parody of Stomp,
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I remember.
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Right.
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And you did a number called, like, ouch from the
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show Clunk. It was this whole.
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I haven't looked at that stuff since we did it. No,
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I haven't either. But I bet it holds up.
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And you got members of the Blue Man Group to
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be in the bit. Yes, that's right. And so everything
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was really technically worked out. And I just couldn't believe
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how much work went into all these things. It was
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a lot of work doing those things. I remember thinking
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it was, at that time, it was fun to do that,
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to engage and do that. And I think also probably
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better than having to sit and talk and actually be
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a person.
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Yes. You know what I mean? You could hide. Yeah,
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and try to be funny in that way.
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What's interesting, though, is I remember very clearly that you
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would come and do bits, and a couple of other
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people over the years would come and do bits who
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were very good at doing it. The problem was other
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people would see that and they would show up at
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our show who weren't, it wasn't their forte. And they
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would show up and they'd go, we saw what Ben did.
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So what I want to do is I want to
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play a character named Mr.
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Muffin.
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And you're there talking to Sylvester Stallone. Can you name
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the actor?
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No.
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It wasn't Stallone, was it? No, it wasn't Stallone. I mean,
256
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I'd have to really think about it. And it isn't
257
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even worth throwing certain people under the bus, but it's,
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It was people who didn't have comedy chops who would
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come by and say, I've got a thing where I'm
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a scarecrow who's got a machine gun, and it's going
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to take 10 minutes, and then you have to be
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a Russian woman. And I'm like, oh, my God, no.
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And they'd be like, well, Ben Stiller gets to do
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this on your show.
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They were like serious actors, people who thought they could be.
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I think doing that, it's such a– I even look
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back now thinking about that because I would never– want
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to do that now right because it's taking such a
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chance and having to put yourself out there in a
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way that you just have to really kind of not
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even be thinking about it that much and just want
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to have fun doing it right and there are people
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who are brilliant at doing it you know people who
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are like really brilliant at doing it like andy kaufman
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and
people like that who that was what you know
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what i mean they took it to a whole other level.
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I also think, and there might get, maybe a lot
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of people that listen to this and disagree, but I
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think there's a period in your life when you're a
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certain age and you're hungry for a certain kind of thing.
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For sure.
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I was reading the old Playboy interview with John Lennon
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in 1980, and it's a book, and it's this really long,
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exhaustive interview. And at one point, the guy keeps asking him, well,
285
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do you think your work now, could you churn out
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that kind of work today in 1980?
287
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And he said, you know.
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I'll never be that young and hungry again.
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I feel like sketch comedy is that world. You have
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to be one like that.
291
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Yeah, exactly. Something about when I... You had Middleditch and
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Schwartz on? Yes, Middleditch.
293
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They're so funny.
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They are fantastic.
295
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And they have that, you know, they have that energy
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and they have that, I mean, and they're just so...
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I saw them at Carnegie Hall. Did you see the
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Carnegie Hall show?
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I did not, no.
300
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Actually, Lin-Manuel Miranda was there and he said that they
301
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literally just did a perfect three-act play. And they did.
302
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And yet, how do you have the energy and just the...
303
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the balls really to do that.
304
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I mean, it just go out there.
305
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Well, that's the thing is I, I hear about, I
306
00:13:49.379 --> 00:13:52.639
was getting tired listening to middle ditch and Schwartz talk
307
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about how much intensity and work goes into it because
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I was thinking, yeah, that's, I was like that. I
309
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was in my, in my twenties and thirties.
310
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I would, but you were, you had to be like that.
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I mean, at SNL or.
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Yes, I was always putting myself in situations where you
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had to be like that. But even before SNL, when
314
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I was doing improv, um, I had the energy to
315
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go and do improv here in LA in like the
316
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basement of a Scientology center with Lisa Kudrow before either
317
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of us had a real gig and the energy to
318
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try and push myself and I'm going to work all
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day writing comedy and then I'm going to go out
320
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at night and I'm going to I'm going to try
321
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and create this magical improv world.
322
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I'm sure we were insufferable. Right, but you took it
323
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kind of seriously.
324
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Oh, yeah.
325
00:14:38.149 --> 00:14:41.389
That's the thing that is the biggest disconnect for some
326
00:14:41.450 --> 00:14:45.730
people in the world. They see people do comedy, and
327
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they think, oh, they must just be goofy, fun people.
328
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Right.
329
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And as we both know, if you've seen Steve Martin's
330
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work and then talked to Steve Martin, you know that
331
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they're deadly serious people. And that people that take it
332
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really seriously often, they're funny, but they're also very, very
333
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serious about, I got to get this right.
334
00:15:06.980 --> 00:15:10.659
Yeah. And that, I mean, that's the, I think, the struggle.
335
00:15:10.820 --> 00:15:11.200
I don't know.
336
00:15:11.259 --> 00:15:13.139
That's, I've always, I'm just taking it back to me
337
00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:16.879
to talk about myself. Oh. Because that's why we're here.
338
00:15:16.980 --> 00:15:17.240
Yeah.
339
00:15:17.259 --> 00:15:18.539
Let me see. I'm just trying to see what the
340
00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:21.690
name of the podcast is. I don't see your name here.
341
00:15:21.750 --> 00:15:23.190
This is why I'm not holding my breath.
342
00:15:23.210 --> 00:15:25.590
This is Conan O'Brien. Okay, well, anyway.
343
00:15:25.649 --> 00:15:28.649
No, I'm just saying that I feel like I've always
344
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felt like there's a pressure, the pressure to be funny.
345
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And it's hard to, you know, that's the thing.
346
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Like people, when you're making comedies as a director, too,
347
00:15:37.570 --> 00:15:40.620
it's the same thing where- People don't, like, as the movie,
348
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you can make this incredibly nuanced, you know, with the
349
00:15:44.039 --> 00:15:47.759
production value and cinematography and all of it. And if
350
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it's a comedy, the bottom line is the audience wants
351
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to laugh. And that's how they're
judging it. And they
352
00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:55.279
shouldn't not because that's why they came to the movie.
353
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They want to, you know, so it's a comedy. I
354
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want to laugh. And I've always found that to be
355
00:16:00.049 --> 00:16:03.779
almost tougher than anything. And it's great when it works
356
00:16:03.919 --> 00:16:05.220
and you strive for it and you have to work
357
00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:07.399
really hard for it, I think. Though there are people,
358
00:16:07.980 --> 00:16:10.080
and you were talking about it with them, it just
359
00:16:10.159 --> 00:16:11.870
flows and like, hey, let's have fun. Let's just go
360
00:16:11.889 --> 00:16:14.590
out there and have fun. And I love that attitude,
361
00:16:14.610 --> 00:16:16.830
but it's almost like a joke. Even at SNL, I
362
00:16:16.830 --> 00:16:18.549
hear people, like, they joke about it. They go, let's
363
00:16:18.570 --> 00:16:20.230
just go out there and have fun. You know, like
364
00:16:20.230 --> 00:16:22.149
30 seconds before you go live on the air. And
365
00:16:22.230 --> 00:16:26.149
it's like after the grueling, you know, 90-hour week or
366
00:16:26.169 --> 00:16:28.549
whatever they spent to get to that point and everybody's exhausted.
367
00:16:28.889 --> 00:16:29.090
Yes.
368
00:16:29.309 --> 00:16:30.690
And then it's like, hey, let's just go out there and,
369
00:16:30.710 --> 00:16:31.870
you know, let's just play around.
370
00:16:32.389 --> 00:16:34.350
My head writer, whenever I go out at night, he
371
00:16:34.389 --> 00:16:37.110
just says, and he does it, it's his way of saying,
372
00:16:37.470 --> 00:16:40.220
of getting on my nerves. But what he does every
373
00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:41.509
night is just, as I'm about to head out, he
374
00:16:41.529 --> 00:16:42.450
goes like, Yeah, no.
375
00:16:42.649 --> 00:16:44.120
Hey, just get out there and have fun. Just go
376
00:16:44.129 --> 00:16:44.649
have some fun.
377
00:16:44.789 --> 00:16:48.639
And it's kind of his way of saying, go fuck yourself.
378
00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:50.759
He knows it bugs me. He knows I don't like it.
379
00:16:50.840 --> 00:16:52.860
But yet you do, right? You do have to have fun.
380
00:16:52.879 --> 00:16:54.820
You have to. They can tell when you're not.
381
00:16:54.919 --> 00:16:56.840
And that's what is amazing to me about what you
382
00:16:56.860 --> 00:16:58.860
do is you have to go out there every night,
383
00:16:59.580 --> 00:17:02.559
no matter what is happening in your life, and be
384
00:17:02.600 --> 00:17:05.309
a certain way that has to be authentic.
385
00:17:05.420 --> 00:17:08.309
Otherwise, people aren't going to feel it. So I don't
386
00:17:08.329 --> 00:17:12.160
know how you do that. Medication helps. That's actually not
387
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:12.529
a joke.
388
00:17:14.309 --> 00:17:16.289
But this format seems to me like, I feel like
389
00:17:16.349 --> 00:17:18.329
you don't
have to worry about anything getting in your
390
00:17:18.369 --> 00:17:20.170
way of being funny, except possibly me right now.
391
00:17:20.390 --> 00:17:21.230
No, no, no.
392
00:17:21.250 --> 00:17:23.740
What I like about the format is I love talking
393
00:17:23.859 --> 00:17:27.019
to people in general, but I really like talking to
394
00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:30.319
people I admire who do work that I admire.
395
00:17:30.740 --> 00:17:33.650
That's the concept. That's really all it is. I also
396
00:17:33.690 --> 00:17:34.589
feel like people bring.
397
00:17:35.210 --> 00:17:37.869
just listening to the podcast, that people bring different things
398
00:17:38.029 --> 00:17:40.069
out of you. You know, like you with Jeff Goldblum,
399
00:17:40.089 --> 00:17:44.089
you kind of take on this Goldblumian sort of vibe.
400
00:17:44.150 --> 00:17:46.630
I do have a Zellick thing where I a little
401
00:17:46.650 --> 00:17:49.470
bit become the person I'm talking to. And when you're
402
00:17:49.490 --> 00:17:52.460
with Jeff Goldblum, it's before long you're going, mmm.
403
00:17:52.579 --> 00:17:54.420
I know, there's a lot of mmm and everything is
404
00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:55.740
sexual and it's so good.
405
00:17:55.859 --> 00:17:57.359
And you know what, this is true.
406
00:17:58.380 --> 00:18:01.960
My wife's mother, who lives in Seattle, I think she
407
00:18:01.980 --> 00:18:03.059
got a little rattled about it.
408
00:18:03.059 --> 00:18:07.089
She's like, well, it was... it seemed there was something sexual.
409
00:18:06.730 --> 00:18:07.670
Going on there.
410
00:18:07.690 --> 00:18:10.940
She was like, Mom, Mom, that's his joking around. I said, well,
411
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:14.440
I mean, that's fine, but I mean, I just hope.
412
00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:15.779
It really rattled her.
413
00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:18.140
I think there was definitely something sexual.
414
00:18:18.160 --> 00:18:21.420
You were talking about a homosexual love affair between the
415
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:21.759
two of you.
416
00:18:21.779 --> 00:18:23.279
But I just think it would be really funny.
417
00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:25.700
I think my mother-in-law was worried that I was going
418
00:18:25.740 --> 00:18:27.730
to leave her daughter for Jeff Goldblum.
419
00:18:27.809 --> 00:18:28.250
Right, right.
420
00:18:29.210 --> 00:18:31.289
Which could be, it's possible, right? Because he is alluring.
421
00:18:31.569 --> 00:18:33.730
He has an amazing closet of clothes that would fit me.
422
00:18:34.029 --> 00:18:36.170
So that would be a big plus right there.
423
00:18:36.190 --> 00:18:38.230
Well, he does. That's right. You guys are about the same.
424
00:18:38.279 --> 00:18:40.599
We're about the same height. That's the basis for any
425
00:18:40.819 --> 00:18:43.240
strong relationship. That's why I married my wife.
426
00:18:43.740 --> 00:18:44.039
That's right.
427
00:18:44.059 --> 00:18:46.759
Her clothes fit me, and I like enjoying wearing them.
428
00:18:47.359 --> 00:18:52.220
You know, there's something that... There's something that you experience
429
00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:53.900
that's very different from what I experience, is you grew
430
00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:55.180
up in show business.
431
00:18:55.720 --> 00:18:55.960
Yes.
432
00:18:56.039 --> 00:18:57.450
Your parents....
433
00:18:58.230 --> 00:19:03.829
This iconic comedy team. And you grew up with that.
434
00:19:03.930 --> 00:19:07.029
And I'm wondering, how does that influence? As you're coming along,
435
00:19:07.069 --> 00:19:10.960
were you looking at what your parents were doing, Stiller Amir,
436
00:19:11.000 --> 00:19:15.740
and saying, okay, I like this aspect of it, but
437
00:19:15.779 --> 00:19:18.960
I don't like that aspect. Or I want to be
438
00:19:18.980 --> 00:19:20.640
doing what they're doing, or I don't want to be
439
00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:22.309
doing what they're doing. I love what they do, but
440
00:19:22.329 --> 00:19:23.950
I want to go my own way. How did that
441
00:19:24.029 --> 00:19:29.769
all work out? Yes. Very nice. My dad was a microbiologist.
442
00:19:30.029 --> 00:19:33.369
My dad is a microbiologist.
443
00:19:33.390 --> 00:19:35.250
That's amazing. So different.
444
00:19:35.309 --> 00:19:35.589
Yeah.
445
00:19:35.789 --> 00:19:39.569
And there was never a second where I thought, yep,
446
00:19:39.930 --> 00:19:43.750
I'm going into the old microbiology game. I just knew
447
00:19:43.829 --> 00:19:45.809
that that wasn't going to happen.
448
00:19:45.829 --> 00:19:49.910
I never experienced that. I never had the chance to.
449
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:52.519
know what it was to not be in a show
450
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:53.299
business family.
451
00:19:53.579 --> 00:19:53.779
Right.
452
00:19:54.019 --> 00:19:56.720
Which I think is part, I have this sort of weird,
453
00:19:58.359 --> 00:20:02.309
not obsession, but I really am interested in the suburbs
454
00:20:03.049 --> 00:20:06.369
and normal, quote unquote, normal life, because I'd never had
455
00:20:06.410 --> 00:20:07.509
that in my childhood.
456
00:20:07.529 --> 00:20:09.990
Because you're in New York City. Yeah. Upper West Side.
457
00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:16.980
Yep. 1970s. Yeah. Parents were doing nightclubs. They were doing plays.
458
00:20:17.049 --> 00:20:19.309
They were doing variety shows. They were doing game shows.
459
00:20:19.940 --> 00:20:25.210
They were going out and playing Harrah's in Reno. It
460
00:20:25.410 --> 00:20:29.230
was a very show business life. Were you backstage when
461
00:20:29.269 --> 00:20:32.339
this was all happening? Backstage all the time. Much more
462
00:20:32.380 --> 00:20:35.299
interesting to me than my real life, than school. I
463
00:20:35.339 --> 00:20:38.549
had issues at school. I didn't like being at school.
464
00:20:38.589 --> 00:20:40.849
I wanted to be out on the, you know, like going,
465
00:20:40.869 --> 00:20:42.970
like my parents were doing a series for HBO. I
466
00:20:42.970 --> 00:20:44.869
wanted to go hang out on the soundstage and watch
467
00:20:44.890 --> 00:20:47.230
them do that, which probably wasn't healthy for me as
468
00:20:47.269 --> 00:20:49.430
a kid, you know, because I wasn't interacting with kids
469
00:20:49.450 --> 00:20:49.990
my own age.
470
00:20:50.250 --> 00:20:50.450
Right.
471
00:20:50.769 --> 00:20:52.569
Or I was, but I wasn't doing it in a
472
00:20:52.589 --> 00:20:55.430
way that was, you know, I was just wanting to be,
473
00:20:55.910 --> 00:20:57.789
it just seemed more interesting to me. I mean, my
474
00:20:57.829 --> 00:21:01.299
mom would do sitcoms like Rhoda, you know, the spinoff
475
00:21:01.319 --> 00:21:03.319
of the Mary Tyler Moore show. And I'd come out
476
00:21:03.339 --> 00:21:04.900
in the summer with her. She had her own show
477
00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:09.160
for a season where she played a lawyer called Kate McShane.
478
00:21:09.180 --> 00:21:11.230
It was like an hour drama. And I remember being
479
00:21:11.250 --> 00:21:13.750
on the Paramount back lot and just eating it up.
480
00:21:13.849 --> 00:21:15.710
Loved it. And you must have seen famous people of
481
00:21:15.750 --> 00:21:19.829
that era. Definitely. Yes. Stars of that era just seem
482
00:21:19.849 --> 00:21:21.930
so much bigger now. That's just what happens. It's an
483
00:21:21.990 --> 00:21:22.930
optical illusion.
484
00:21:23.710 --> 00:21:26.500
And also when you're that age, they're just, I mean,
485
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:28.799
and I was a Star Trek fan. And so to
486
00:21:28.859 --> 00:21:33.279
see William Shatner or- I remember meeting LeVar Burton right
487
00:21:33.319 --> 00:21:36.880
after Roots had happened because she was on the $ 10, 000
488
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:36.599
pyramid with LeVar Burton.
489
00:21:36.619 --> 00:21:40.650
Oh, my God. Nipsey Russell.
490
00:21:40.750 --> 00:21:41.069
Yeah.
491
00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:45.109
I mean— Just, it was Bert Convy. I mean, there
492
00:21:45.130 --> 00:21:47.650
was all sorts of tattletales, this game show my parents did.
493
00:21:47.670 --> 00:21:50.250
It just, it was, I remember it so vividly because
494
00:21:50.269 --> 00:21:52.890
it was, the colors were so bright and the, even
495
00:21:52.910 --> 00:21:55.339
just walking on this, into this soundstage here.
496
00:21:55.359 --> 00:21:55.759
Yeah, yeah.
497
00:21:56.019 --> 00:21:58.059
That it reminds me of my childhood because that was
498
00:21:58.099 --> 00:21:59.839
what it was. These were the places that they would
499
00:21:59.859 --> 00:22:02.880
come in and still has the same smell, the soundstage.
500
00:22:03.140 --> 00:22:06.079
No, we haven't cleaned this thing yet. Since Tattletail. It
501
00:22:06.099 --> 00:22:07.119
didn't sound that poetic.
502
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.099
No, no, but it's true that you, I mean, maybe
503
00:22:11.119 --> 00:22:13.440
that's good in a way because you kind of fell
504
00:22:13.480 --> 00:22:15.500
in
love with it, but it also demystified it a
505
00:22:15.539 --> 00:22:17.700
little bit maybe when you were growing up.
506
00:22:18.079 --> 00:22:18.420
Maybe.
507
00:22:18.500 --> 00:22:21.509
I mean, I feel like it was strange. Like when
508
00:22:21.529 --> 00:22:24.569
my parents did Tattletails, I remember getting really upset when
509
00:22:24.589 --> 00:22:27.829
they didn't win. Because they would play for the audience,
510
00:22:27.869 --> 00:22:29.829
and they would divide up the audience. They had the
511
00:22:29.869 --> 00:22:33.890
banana section and the green section and the red section.
512
00:22:34.029 --> 00:22:36.789
And if they lost, the audience didn't win money.
513
00:22:37.049 --> 00:22:40.329
And I remember literally crying, being upset, because I was
514
00:22:40.369 --> 00:22:42.630
embarrassed my parents didn't win.
515
00:22:42.650 --> 00:22:45.630
I know. That's not true.
516
00:22:45.910 --> 00:22:48.890
And Patty Duke and John Astin were comforting me.
517
00:22:51.799 --> 00:22:54.759
And of course, yeah, John Astin, the father on The
518
00:22:54.839 --> 00:22:59.109
Addams Family, which was the show opposite the Munsters, co-starring
519
00:22:59.160 --> 00:22:59.829
Butch Patrick.
520
00:22:59.880 --> 00:23:00.349
Exactly.
521
00:23:00.369 --> 00:23:02.230
It all comes around.
522
00:23:02.250 --> 00:23:04.910
And on that, we're going to take a little break.
523
00:23:04.930 --> 00:23:05.730
We'll be right back.
524
00:23:06.089 --> 00:23:08.150
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
525
00:23:08.349 --> 00:23:09.650
I know what you mean, Coo Column.
526
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Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
527
00:23:13.130 --> 00:23:15.240
Eating tons of fresh grass.
528
00:23:15.420 --> 00:23:15.740
What?
529
00:23:15.839 --> 00:23:18.940
Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
530
00:23:18.980 --> 00:23:22.670
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531
00:23:22.930 --> 00:23:24.430
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532
00:23:24.990 --> 00:23:28.069
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533
00:23:28.349 --> 00:23:31.890
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534
00:23:31.910 --> 00:23:33.730
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535
00:23:33.890 --> 00:23:35.930
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536
00:23:36.170 --> 00:23:38.099
Did you hear about the Murphys down the road?
537
00:23:38.410 --> 00:23:41.240
I did. And with the Walshes too, of all people.
538
00:23:41.559 --> 00:23:43.119
I heard the Flins were at it as well.
539
00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:43.720
No.
540
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:45.160
Switchers, the lot of them.
541
00:23:45.539 --> 00:23:47.980
You know, it might not be a bad idea.
542
00:23:48.420 --> 00:23:48.700
Really?
543
00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:51.480
I heard they all got a brilliant deal and saved
544
00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:55.690
hundreds of euros switching their energy with switcher.ie. happy days
545
00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:57.480
maybe we should join them.
546
00:23:58.519 --> 00:24:02.059
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547
00:24:02.480 --> 00:24:05.400
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562
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563
00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:53.539
We started the whole Keanu O'Brien needs a friend thing.
564
00:24:53.599 --> 00:24:57.680
It's just a silly way in, but it really quickly
565
00:24:57.740 --> 00:25:02.019
became connecting with people who I really admire, who I've
566
00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:04.269
worked with over the years, but we're always so busy
567
00:25:04.369 --> 00:25:07.329
and we're always going different ways. And then you sit
568
00:25:07.349 --> 00:25:09.069
down with them and you get to have this conversation.
569
00:25:09.089 --> 00:25:11.210
I'm like, I'm having the conversation with Ben Stiller that
570
00:25:11.470 --> 00:25:14.079
I've always wanted to have, but we're always so, we
571
00:25:14.119 --> 00:25:14.799
pass each other.
572
00:25:14.819 --> 00:25:18.160
And it's like, hey man, how you doing? Hey, good, good. Okay. Hey,
573
00:25:18.180 --> 00:25:22.480
take care. Hug, you know, hug. And then SUV. Especially
574
00:25:22.500 --> 00:25:25.500
when it's before a show. Before a show or after
575
00:25:25.539 --> 00:25:27.170
a show. Which is just crazy.
576
00:25:27.190 --> 00:25:29.609
You know, it's always like coming here after the show,
577
00:25:29.809 --> 00:25:32.029
after you guys have done your show, there's a weird
578
00:25:32.069 --> 00:25:33.410
kind of like post-show energy.
579
00:25:33.430 --> 00:25:35.769
You can tell something just happened. Yeah.
580
00:25:35.930 --> 00:25:38.079
And there's that thing where I think your adrenaline's up,
581
00:25:38.130 --> 00:25:39.329
especially if
you're going to have to go and do
582
00:25:39.390 --> 00:25:41.769
a talk show. But yeah, I feel that, too, because
583
00:25:41.910 --> 00:25:43.430
over the years, I feel like we've seen each other
584
00:25:43.470 --> 00:25:46.339
a lot. And we've seen each other on a plane or.
585
00:25:46.440 --> 00:25:49.500
Wherever it is. I follow you around a lot, too.
586
00:25:50.029 --> 00:25:50.710
I've sensed that.
587
00:25:50.730 --> 00:25:53.819
I have sensed that. Have your people told you that?
588
00:25:53.880 --> 00:25:54.039
Yeah.
589
00:25:54.720 --> 00:25:59.480
You're not noticeable at all. No. You and I are
590
00:25:59.519 --> 00:26:01.490
hanging out. I just blend right in.
591
00:26:01.730 --> 00:26:05.190
But I do think it's sometimes hard to connect, though,
592
00:26:05.210 --> 00:26:07.390
with people like that because— I always felt it was
593
00:26:07.410 --> 00:26:10.240
weird to just call someone up. And this is like
594
00:26:10.259 --> 00:26:11.680
you joke about it and joke about it in the
595
00:26:11.700 --> 00:26:16.079
little intro, but to actually call you up afterwards and say, hey,
596
00:26:16.119 --> 00:26:17.069
but seriously, let's hang out.
597
00:26:17.619 --> 00:26:17.880
Yeah.
598
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:21.019
No, but that's— It would be hard for me to
599
00:26:21.059 --> 00:26:21.460
do that.
600
00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:22.140
Yeah.
601
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:24.829
Okay, let's talk about— are you— We don't have to talk
602
00:26:24.849 --> 00:26:27.369
about it. No, no, no. Just in general, do you
603
00:26:27.390 --> 00:26:30.049
think you're a shy person? No, I don't think I'm shy.
604
00:26:30.069 --> 00:26:33.230
I think I'm, you know, I'm insecure, I think.
605
00:26:33.529 --> 00:26:33.609
Yep.
606
00:26:33.650 --> 00:26:34.569
If I'm going to be honest.
607
00:26:34.589 --> 00:26:38.259
Just kidding, really. No, no, but I mean, that's... I am.
608
00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:40.259
Lost.
609
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:44.579
Yeah. But I do feel like I'm not... I don't
610
00:26:44.920 --> 00:26:46.319
feel like I'm not one of those people that can
611
00:26:46.339 --> 00:26:49.539
walk into a room and go, hey, just into a
612
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:52.059
party and feel cool going into a party.
613
00:26:52.160 --> 00:26:52.660
I don't know.
614
00:26:52.700 --> 00:26:53.109
Alone.
615
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:55.369
I want to go into a party with somebody else.
616
00:26:55.529 --> 00:26:59.349
I think only a jerk can walk into a situation
617
00:26:59.369 --> 00:27:00.970
and be completely confident.
618
00:27:01.630 --> 00:27:02.269
Yeah.
619
00:27:02.529 --> 00:27:05.490
I think that's more common than you would think. I
620
00:27:05.549 --> 00:27:09.450
notice that if we order something on Postmates— And I
621
00:27:09.470 --> 00:27:12.710
have to go to the door and get the food
622
00:27:12.730 --> 00:27:15.369
that my wife ordered on Postmates. When I'm opening the door,
623
00:27:15.390 --> 00:27:18.430
I'm feeling a little nervous about talking to the person.
624
00:27:19.349 --> 00:27:23.230
My job is to greet people on television in front
625
00:27:23.269 --> 00:27:26.579
of a studio audience and greet them and sit them down.
626
00:27:27.019 --> 00:27:28.859
I'm a little worried about how's this going to go
627
00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:30.660
with the Postmates guy.
628
00:27:30.680 --> 00:27:31.680
That's a good thing, though.
629
00:27:31.819 --> 00:27:35.039
Yeah, but I think that that's... I don't know, I
630
00:27:35.079 --> 00:27:37.839
always check myself a little before I go into a party,
631
00:27:37.880 --> 00:27:39.740
and I'd rather be there with someone.
632
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:42.109
But I wouldn't say that... I do like to go
633
00:27:42.130 --> 00:27:43.769
to parties sometimes.
634
00:27:43.809 --> 00:27:47.230
I think it's exciting sometimes to meet people and to
635
00:27:47.269 --> 00:27:49.109
be in that sort of atmosphere. I think it can
636
00:27:49.150 --> 00:27:53.519
be fun, but it also never... it never usually ends
637
00:27:53.599 --> 00:27:54.980
up exactly as I think it's going to.
638
00:27:55.299 --> 00:27:55.500
Right.
639
00:27:55.640 --> 00:27:57.279
I usually end up, like, at a certain point where
640
00:27:57.299 --> 00:28:00.019
I'm just standing alone, wondering why no one else is
641
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:00.859
talking to me.
642
00:28:00.900 --> 00:28:05.140
So you're standing there alone. Are you holding anything? But
643
00:28:05.160 --> 00:28:07.369
do you know that thing in a party where it's not, like, intentional?
644
00:28:07.430 --> 00:28:10.430
It's just like you've... Somebody else talked to somebody else,
645
00:28:10.490 --> 00:28:11.609
and all of a sudden you're just there, and you're
646
00:28:11.630 --> 00:28:13.630
trying to just, like, act like you belong at the party,
647
00:28:13.650 --> 00:28:15.190
and there's your drink or whatever.
648
00:28:15.390 --> 00:28:16.690
Right. And then you have to.
649
00:28:16.710 --> 00:28:18.490
I mean, I think that's why the cell phone is
650
00:28:18.509 --> 00:28:23.430
the greatest invention of all time, because... You can always
651
00:28:23.470 --> 00:28:26.589
pull out your cell phone and act like you got
652
00:28:26.609 --> 00:28:30.619
a call. And sometimes I've been in an airport and
653
00:28:30.819 --> 00:28:33.140
I'm not with anybody and I'm standing alone and then
654
00:28:33.160 --> 00:28:36.400
I get self-conscious that I'm standing alone. It may look
655
00:28:36.460 --> 00:28:39.029
weird to people and then I may seem a little vulnerable.
656
00:28:39.049 --> 00:28:41.150
So I take out my phone and I start talking
657
00:28:41.289 --> 00:28:43.609
until my wife comes back from the bathroom, wherever she was.
658
00:28:44.369 --> 00:28:47.069
And I have these fake calls. And I really will.
659
00:28:47.569 --> 00:28:49.809
I just wish I could press record some time on them.
660
00:28:50.269 --> 00:28:51.609
Because I'll really commit to the call.
661
00:28:51.630 --> 00:28:53.279
Who do you talk to? I just say things like,
662
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:55.440
what's that? No, no, no, no. Tell him that's out.
663
00:28:55.700 --> 00:28:56.160
That's out.
664
00:28:56.680 --> 00:28:58.859
There's no way. And then I say all this stuff
665
00:28:58.880 --> 00:29:01.180
that's just crazy babble. And Sony, you've been around me
666
00:29:01.200 --> 00:29:01.700
when I do this.
667
00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:02.160
I have, yes.
668
00:29:02.180 --> 00:29:02.779
He really does that?
669
00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:03.299
He does.
670
00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:06.380
I mean, even not just on the phone, but when
671
00:29:06.420 --> 00:29:07.660
we're in an elevator, you'll.
672
00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:09.500
Be like, yeah, and that's the time I scored the
673
00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:10.359
winning touchdown.
674
00:29:10.380 --> 00:29:10.660
Beautiful.
675
00:29:11.079 --> 00:29:12.900
Other people are in the elevator. Completely babbling.
676
00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:15.849
But I'll be on the phone and I'll say things like, no, no, no, no, no.
677
00:29:15.880 --> 00:29:17.730
We're not going to do that. Oysters is the wrong
678
00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:20.950
way to go. We're not doing oysters. I'll tell you something.
679
00:29:21.230 --> 00:29:23.029
You tell Peliman. No, tell him.
680
00:29:23.390 --> 00:29:25.970
Tell Peliman. If he wants to do it, I'll get there.
681
00:29:25.990 --> 00:29:27.809
But he better have the pneumatic with him.
682
00:29:27.910 --> 00:29:30.549
And it's all bullshit. I have a specific name.
683
00:29:30.609 --> 00:29:32.930
And if you say really specific stuff, no one would
684
00:29:32.970 --> 00:29:35.269
think you're ever making that up. And all I've ever
685
00:29:35.309 --> 00:29:37.349
wished is that I have some recording of that.
686
00:29:37.369 --> 00:29:39.609
Of you making that stuff up. It's foolishness. Have you
687
00:29:39.630 --> 00:29:43.569
done that? I don't do that. I don't go that.
688
00:29:43.990 --> 00:29:46.049
Far. I will pull out my phone. I find in
689
00:29:46.170 --> 00:29:48.970
elevators it's really tough for me. I find it very
690
00:29:49.069 --> 00:29:52.329
awkward in elevators. Just to be standing alone and then
691
00:29:52.410 --> 00:29:55.329
people come in. And, you know, even if they recognize you,
692
00:29:55.369 --> 00:29:58.609
don't recognize you, just standing in a space with people.
693
00:29:58.789 --> 00:29:59.049
Yes.
694
00:29:59.210 --> 00:30:00.470
For a certain amount of time.
695
00:30:00.970 --> 00:30:03.130
It's weird no matter who you are. And then you
696
00:30:03.289 --> 00:30:06.319
add to it people are going to know who you are.
697
00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:06.519
Right.
698
00:30:06.630 --> 00:30:07.619
If they get into an elevator.
699
00:30:07.640 --> 00:30:09.859
Well, that's the other factor that, yeah, then you can
700
00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:13.279
sort of like, this kid gave me the finger today. What?
701
00:30:13.660 --> 00:30:14.619
Who gave you the finger?
702
00:30:14.859 --> 00:30:16.539
A kid gave me the finger.
703
00:30:16.779 --> 00:30:17.160
Wait, what?
704
00:30:17.259 --> 00:30:21.380
I was visiting a college with my daughter. Yeah. Yeah.
705
00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:22.480
I can talk about this here.
706
00:30:22.680 --> 00:30:22.880
Yeah.
707
00:30:22.900 --> 00:30:25.170
This kid, I was just, this kid just was like,
708
00:30:25.190 --> 00:30:27.329
we were leaving the college. It was like, it was
709
00:30:27.349 --> 00:30:30.329
a nice visit. And this kid, he was like maybe 19,
710
00:30:30.329 --> 00:30:32.789
didn't have, like, wasn't edgy looking or anything. He just
711
00:30:32.809 --> 00:30:34.190
was like sort of like normal. He looked at me
712
00:30:34.210 --> 00:30:35.369
and he just went like this.
713
00:30:35.390 --> 00:30:36.410
He gave you the finger. Yeah.
714
00:30:36.549 --> 00:30:40.150
And I did like a double take. I was like, oh, okay.
715
00:30:40.289 --> 00:30:43.190
But there is no reason for someone to give Ben Stiller.
716
00:30:43.210 --> 00:30:46.059
I represented something. Ben Stiller represented something to him. And
717
00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:47.779
I literally, like, I didn't know how to react because
718
00:30:47.799 --> 00:30:50.279
I wasn't expecting it. And I sort of leaned into
719
00:30:50.319 --> 00:30:51.940
it a little bit because I was walking around.
720
00:30:51.960 --> 00:30:52.740
I said, hey, hi.
721
00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:56.000
Hi, like I just wanted, I guess my hackles went
722
00:30:56.059 --> 00:30:57.579
up though a little bit. I was like, I just,
723
00:30:57.759 --> 00:30:59.220
I saw it. Like I wanted him to know that
724
00:30:59.240 --> 00:31:01.279
I wasn't okay with me. Did he give you a
725
00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:02.160
bribery scam?
726
00:31:02.180 --> 00:31:03.150
Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.
727
00:31:03.250 --> 00:31:04.910
I don't know what he was thinking.
728
00:31:04.950 --> 00:31:10.309
Was he thinking, oh, Hollywood entitled actor getting their kids
729
00:31:10.329 --> 00:31:10.549
into school.
730
00:31:10.569 --> 00:31:12.630
Something like that. But he wasn't edgy. He had like
731
00:31:12.670 --> 00:31:16.319
a Lacoste shirt on. And then so I said, hi, hey,
732
00:31:16.339 --> 00:31:18.619
how you doing? And he's still holding the finger up.
733
00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:21.160
And then he's like, and I could tell he got nervous.
734
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:23.299
And he said, he started kind of babbling. He said,
735
00:31:23.740 --> 00:31:25.160
I just wanted to be able to say that I
736
00:31:25.200 --> 00:31:29.779
did that. What? And then he said, but I also
737
00:31:29.819 --> 00:31:31.380
want you to know that I'm a really big fan
738
00:31:31.420 --> 00:31:32.490
of your work.
739
00:31:32.529 --> 00:31:32.829
Thank you.
740
00:31:34.230 --> 00:31:34.690
What?
741
00:31:35.690 --> 00:31:37.700
And I think he did
probably went back to his
742
00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:40.660
friends and said that he gave me the finger. I
743
00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:41.940
don't know if he said the second part of it.
744
00:31:41.960 --> 00:31:43.720
I think he edited it. But first of all.
745
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:45.799
But it was one of those things where I couldn't
746
00:31:45.839 --> 00:31:47.599
take it. It did hurt me a little bit, I
747
00:31:47.640 --> 00:31:49.599
have to say. Of course it did. But then I
748
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:52.609
was also like, what do I represent to him? Maybe
749
00:31:52.650 --> 00:31:56.170
I'm like the man. Maybe I'm the guy from this
750
00:31:56.250 --> 00:31:58.289
thing or that thing or I suck. I don't know.
751
00:31:58.970 --> 00:32:01.049
But now he's going to hear this and go.
752
00:32:01.349 --> 00:32:02.150
I don't think he'll hear that.
753
00:32:02.190 --> 00:32:03.509
He might. And then he's going to go like.
754
00:32:03.549 --> 00:32:05.240
That's why I did this. Now it's legend.
755
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:08.579
Yeah, now more people are going to give me the finger.
756
00:32:08.940 --> 00:32:10.720
If he was wearing a Lacoste shirt, eventually he will
757
00:32:10.740 --> 00:32:13.720
hear this. It will be a sponsor. It's just like, oh,
758
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:15.700
I want to tell people I gave Ben Stiller the finger.
759
00:32:15.869 --> 00:32:16.730
Yes.
760
00:32:16.869 --> 00:32:19.410
But they don't know that you're going to spend... If
761
00:32:19.450 --> 00:32:22.009
you hadn't had that conversation with him, I'm guessing you
762
00:32:22.029 --> 00:32:24.569
would have fought about that many times over the next
763
00:32:24.609 --> 00:32:25.089
few months.
764
00:32:25.509 --> 00:32:25.789
Yes, for sure.
765
00:32:25.809 --> 00:32:28.029
And you would have thought, are people starting to.
766
00:32:28.369 --> 00:32:31.029
Yes, right, right. Do I represent that? Am I a
767
00:32:31.109 --> 00:32:31.670
bad thing?
768
00:32:32.029 --> 00:32:36.789
We did a completely silly, harmless reference joke once on
769
00:32:36.849 --> 00:32:39.049
our show. And I'll actually use the real name because
770
00:32:39.170 --> 00:32:41.809
I love the guy, Nathan Lane. This was maybe, I
771
00:32:41.829 --> 00:32:44.430
don't know, 15 years ago or something. It was the
772
00:32:44.509 --> 00:32:47.970
old late night show. And we did some just completely silly...
773
00:32:48.940 --> 00:32:51.059
joke where we just needed the name of anybody and
774
00:32:51.099 --> 00:32:52.740
a writer just threw in nathan lane but it was
775
00:32:52.839 --> 00:32:55.200
nothing bad about nathan lane it was nothing it was
776
00:32:55.220 --> 00:32:57.589
just we needed a name for something and someone threw
777
00:32:57.670 --> 00:33:00.069
in oh yeah nathan lane stole a tractor you know
778
00:33:00.089 --> 00:33:03.150
something that was completely random and the next thing i
779
00:33:03.210 --> 00:33:06.299
heard later on i heard
well they went to book
780
00:33:06.500 --> 00:33:09.259
nathan lane and we heard from his people that well
781
00:33:09.279 --> 00:33:12.200
he thinks conan's mad at him and i was like
782
00:33:12.220 --> 00:33:16.779
what And what happened was someone had just seen that
783
00:33:16.799 --> 00:33:20.240
I just mentioned Nathan Lane's name on my show and
784
00:33:20.259 --> 00:33:23.019
just thought that it was in a snide way. So
785
00:33:23.059 --> 00:33:25.500
the next thing I knew, they had told Nathan Lane that,
786
00:33:25.519 --> 00:33:26.940
who's a lovely guy.
787
00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:28.960
And I admire Nathan Lane.
788
00:33:29.400 --> 00:33:31.470
So I called him up and he was like, well,
789
00:33:31.849 --> 00:33:34.650
I guess people are, you know, I heard your show
790
00:33:35.109 --> 00:33:36.069
doesn't like me anymore.
791
00:33:36.109 --> 00:33:37.730
Maybe people are turning against me.
792
00:33:37.789 --> 00:33:38.150
And I was.
793
00:33:38.089 --> 00:33:41.029
Like, no, who's turning against Nathan Lane anymore?
794
00:33:41.400 --> 00:33:42.920
It was just, it made me feel so bad that
795
00:33:42.940 --> 00:33:45.500
things get warped through a prism sometimes.
796
00:33:44.940 --> 00:33:47.349
In show business. I don't know. We're all insecure actors.
797
00:33:47.369 --> 00:33:48.380
We all are, yes. You know what I mean? Like,
798
00:33:48.650 --> 00:33:50.529
I don't think, you know, it has to rule your life.
799
00:33:50.549 --> 00:33:52.970
But like when it, there's, it's just, there's some part
800
00:33:52.990 --> 00:33:55.569
of you there that's going to, when that happens, you're like, what, what, really?
801
00:33:56.009 --> 00:33:57.049
You know? Exactly.
802
00:33:57.529 --> 00:33:59.069
But then like, here I am, like, you know, I'll
803
00:33:59.089 --> 00:34:01.210
do a character on SNL or, you know, do Michael
804
00:34:01.259 --> 00:34:03.460
Cohen or something like that. And I can't imagine what
805
00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:04.839
that feels like. It's not, you know, it's not in
806
00:34:04.900 --> 00:34:07.059
my nature. Like I, you know, you have to be
807
00:34:07.099 --> 00:34:09.510
able to have some sort of a filter, right? to
808
00:34:09.550 --> 00:34:13.380
go like, this is just show business, and these things
809
00:34:13.480 --> 00:34:14.400
fly back and forth.
810
00:34:14.739 --> 00:34:15.760
I'm not great with that at all.
811
00:34:15.900 --> 00:34:19.679
Well, if you spent a weekend with Michael Cohen and
812
00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:23.809
his family, you start to go, oh, okay, oh, man.
813
00:34:23.849 --> 00:34:25.949
But I have the same issue all the time, which
814
00:34:26.170 --> 00:34:30.269
is I, for 25 years, I've been making, you make
815
00:34:30.289 --> 00:34:32.760
jokes about people, you do sketches about people, and I
816
00:34:32.780 --> 00:34:34.489
don't want to really hurt anybody's feelings.
817
00:34:34.739 --> 00:34:35.650
I really don't.
818
00:34:36.550 -->
00:34:38.269
I mean, there's a few people who deserve it. But
819
00:34:38.610 --> 00:34:40.130
for the most part, no, I don't want to hurt
820
00:34:40.150 --> 00:34:41.190
someone's feelings.
821
00:34:41.210 --> 00:34:43.869
And you have to make that judgment for yourself as
822
00:34:44.269 --> 00:34:47.260
you when you do your monologue or whatever it would be.
823
00:34:49.070 --> 00:34:51.570
Of what feels right for you, right for who you are.
824
00:34:51.719 --> 00:34:53.400
Yes, and you have to make that decision, and a
825
00:34:53.420 --> 00:34:55.579
lot of times you have to make that decision very quickly.
826
00:34:55.699 --> 00:34:58.179
And that's not easy, like, to do that, what you
827
00:34:58.199 --> 00:34:59.840
have to do, because you have to really figure out,
828
00:34:59.880 --> 00:35:01.679
how do I ride that line where I'm being true
829
00:35:01.699 --> 00:35:02.659
to who I am, but I also have to be
830
00:35:02.719 --> 00:35:05.019
topical and feel like this is a joke that works
831
00:35:05.059 --> 00:35:05.400
for me.
832
00:35:05.860 --> 00:35:09.130
I used to have, I mean, sometimes my monologue writers
833
00:35:09.190 --> 00:35:11.670
used to automatically want to make fun of any new
834
00:35:11.789 --> 00:35:15.110
boy band that was overly popular because, you know, there's
835
00:35:15.150 --> 00:35:17.550
that thing where sometimes comedy writers just want to put down.
836
00:35:18.079 --> 00:35:20.880
You know, NSYNC, you know, they suck.
837
00:35:21.500 --> 00:35:25.789
And they would write these jokes about NSYNC sucking. And
838
00:35:25.829 --> 00:35:29.909
I would say, do they? I mean, first of all,
839
00:35:30.110 --> 00:35:33.219
it's my generation's music. But what I don't want to
840
00:35:33.260 --> 00:35:36.599
be is I don't want to be Joey Bishop, the
841
00:35:36.619 --> 00:35:41.050
comedian in 1960s. Four, who's being like, man, these Beatles,
842
00:35:41.110 --> 00:35:42.099
get me some earmuffs.
843
00:35:42.119 --> 00:35:42.400
Exactly, right.
844
00:35:42.420 --> 00:35:44.260
I don't want to hear this, right? I mean, with
845
00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:46.380
the yeah, yeah, yeahs and the long hair, give me
846
00:35:46.420 --> 00:35:50.489
a break. Because it always looks horrible. History will frown
847
00:35:50.550 --> 00:35:52.889
upon you. History will make you look like, you know,
848
00:35:52.989 --> 00:35:57.070
and it's Steve Allen going, yeah, get this Elvis guy
849
00:35:57.090 --> 00:35:58.429
with his hound dog, right?
850
00:35:58.469 --> 00:36:01.239
I mean, give me a break. Well, who are we
851
00:36:01.260 --> 00:36:01.639
talking about?
852
00:36:01.659 --> 00:36:04.239
There's that Mike Douglas interview with Martin Luther King. Have
853
00:36:04.260 --> 00:36:06.059
you ever seen that? No. Because my parents did the
854
00:36:06.079 --> 00:36:07.360
Mike Douglas show a lot.
855
00:36:07.460 --> 00:36:08.119
You know that show, right?
856
00:36:08.139 --> 00:36:08.659
Yes, of course.
857
00:36:08.699 --> 00:36:11.099
And that was like in Philadelphia. You would go and
858
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:13.889
my parents would go down. They'd take a limousine and
859
00:36:14.190 --> 00:36:16.449
they'd co-host for the week, which would be they'd tape
860
00:36:16.489 --> 00:36:19.489
like five shows in a day, I think. And Mike
861
00:36:19.530 --> 00:36:21.710
Douglas was always like this sort of like, okay, he's
862
00:36:21.750 --> 00:36:23.349
a talk show host. He's sort of like a show
863
00:36:23.369 --> 00:36:26.829
business guy. And then through my whatever eight-year-old mind, that's
864
00:36:26.849 --> 00:36:28.610
how I saw him. But then I saw this YouTube
865
00:36:28.639 --> 00:36:31.840
clip of him like being really tough on Martin Luther
866
00:36:31.880 --> 00:36:34.420
King about his civil rights activism.
867
00:36:34.619 --> 00:36:34.840
Yeah.
868
00:36:34.980 --> 00:36:36.820
And like whether or not he was crossing the line
869
00:36:36.860 --> 00:36:38.889
and being, I mean, it was so, it just felt
870
00:36:38.989 --> 00:36:41.489
so wrong. Yep. And, you know, it was just through
871
00:36:41.510 --> 00:36:44.849
that filter of that time, you know, people, I'm sure
872
00:36:44.869 --> 00:36:46.309
at the time, he was just sort of like trying
873
00:36:46.329 --> 00:36:48.750
to be, have a little substance or, you know, be
874
00:36:49.409 --> 00:36:51.699
more than just, you know, sort of the, you know,
875
00:36:51.719 --> 00:36:52.780
Mike Douglas that everybody knew.
876
00:36:52.820 --> 00:36:54.500
He's going to do a tough interview. Right. But if
877
00:36:54.519 --> 00:36:56.039
you look back at it, it's like, oh my God,
878
00:36:56.539 --> 00:36:58.539
you were so wrong. Yeah, and it might have just been.
879
00:37:00.389 --> 00:37:01.940
Bad timing. He might have said, you know what?
880
00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:04.179
Someone maybe told him, you got to start getting a
881
00:37:04.179 --> 00:37:05.739
little tough with people to show that you've got, and
882
00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:07.400
he's like, all right, I'm going to start today.
883
00:37:07.460 --> 00:37:07.940
Who's on?
884
00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:11.960
This guy, the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King. All right,
885
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:14.630
bring him in here. So, doctor, eh?
886
00:37:15.010 --> 00:37:16.150
He's really stirring things up.
887
00:37:16.150 --> 00:37:18.190
What are my symptoms? Well, I'm not that kind of doctor. Oh,
888
00:37:18.269 --> 00:37:19.090
a phony, are you?
889
00:37:19.110 --> 00:37:19.179
Wow.
890
00:37:21.269 --> 00:37:24.190
Martin Luther King which name is it what are you
891
00:37:24.230 --> 00:37:28.090
talking about I'm done with you that score one for
892
00:37:28.139 --> 00:37:30.300
Mike Douglas and zero for Dr.
893
00:37:30.380 --> 00:37:32.699
Martin Luther King yeah but that's the.
894
00:37:32.619 --> 00:37:34.139
Thing that was always in the back of my head
895
00:37:34.179 --> 00:37:36.599
is I never wanted there to be footage around later
896
00:37:36.619 --> 00:37:42.119
on of me saying his name's Barack Obama good luck
897
00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:45.000
with that yeah.
898
00:37:45.639 --> 00:37:47.550
But how can you know though right.
899
00:37:47.429 --> 00:37:51.030
It's all I actually know okay I have that ability
900
00:37:51.070 --> 00:37:51.570
to just know.
901
00:37:52.429 --> 00:37:54.449
That's how you navigated the career that you have.
902
00:37:54.510 --> 00:37:55.130
Yes, I have.
903
00:37:55.530 --> 00:37:58.699
That's why I'm here doing a podcast at the age
904
00:37:58.739 --> 00:38:07.039
of 78. And interviewing me. Thank you. A lot of work.
905
00:38:07.840 --> 00:38:10.579
Going back to SNL now is such a different experience
906
00:38:10.659 --> 00:38:13.610
than when you and I are there. And we're around
907
00:38:13.630 --> 00:38:18.960
the conference table in the late 80s, and we're feral dogs, like,
908
00:38:19.900 --> 00:38:21.059
I want to make it, I want to make it.
909
00:38:21.099 --> 00:38:22.159
How are we going to make it? Are we going
910
00:38:22.179 --> 00:38:25.630
to make it? Now you're going back in this very
911
00:38:25.710 --> 00:38:27.550
different situation, but it's the same building.
912
00:38:28.090 --> 00:38:31.510
What's that like? It's crazy, because it hasn't changed in, what,
913
00:38:31.510 --> 00:38:32.570
44 years, 45 years?
914
00:38:32.590 --> 00:38:37.530
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a totally different attitude towards it because, yeah,
915
00:38:37.550 --> 00:38:40.269
at that time, yeah, it was like, am I going
916
00:38:40.289 --> 00:38:41.550
to get my bit on the air? Am I going
917
00:38:41.570 --> 00:38:42.769
to get my sketch on? Am I going to get
918
00:38:42.809 --> 00:38:45.769
my little short on? And it's your whole career, you know,
919
00:38:45.849 --> 00:38:49.210
and you're struggling with it the whole week. This is
920
00:38:49.309 --> 00:38:51.949
now going back in. I've had such a sort of
921
00:38:52.010 --> 00:38:54.670
a crazy history with the show in terms of just
922
00:38:54.710 --> 00:38:58.469
my interactions with it because I left the show. And then,
923
00:38:58.789 --> 00:39:00.630
you know, because I had a chance to do, after
924
00:39:00.650 --> 00:39:04.300
I did that short, the Tom Cruise thing, I came
925
00:39:04.380 --> 00:39:07.079
on as an apprentice writer and a featured player, but
926
00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:08.320
I only was there for six weeks.
927
00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:10.469
That's right. It was very short.
928
00:39:10.530 --> 00:39:14.050
Yeah. And I had an opportunity to do the short films,
929
00:39:14.210 --> 00:39:18.289
and so I left. And that really forever just made
930
00:39:18.309 --> 00:39:22.710
it a strange relationship that Lorne and I have navigated
931
00:39:22.829 --> 00:39:25.610
over the years and finally came back and hosted in 1998.
932
00:39:25.590 --> 00:39:30.059
But then in 2001, when
Zoolander came out, I was
933
00:39:30.079 --> 00:39:32.429
supposed to host and it was right after 9-11 and
934
00:39:32.469 --> 00:39:36.730
I decided not to host and that created a little
935
00:39:36.750 --> 00:39:40.920
bit of tension there too because you know Lauren felt
936
00:39:40.940 --> 00:39:43.340
like he wanted me to host. In retrospect, I wish
937
00:39:43.380 --> 00:39:45.219
I did host, but at the time, I just felt
938
00:39:45.239 --> 00:39:46.590
like I couldn't figure out how to do it.
939
00:39:46.820 --> 00:39:50.199
Yeah. I could see that would be— you were in a
940
00:39:50.219 --> 00:39:53.239
bad position, to be honest. To be fair, you were
941
00:39:53.260 --> 00:39:57.000
in a bad position to— no one who absolutely had
942
00:39:57.039 --> 00:40:00.079
to be on TV then, especially doing comedy, uh, would
943
00:40:00.239 --> 00:40:01.460
want to be in that situation.
944
00:40:01.820 --> 00:40:04.190
I wish I had done it, but in, but I didn't.
945
00:40:04.429 --> 00:40:07.639
And then anyway, so it was, it's been, uh, um, uh,
946
00:40:08.170 --> 00:40:10.369
an interesting road with Lauren and I, and now, you know,
947
00:40:10.449 --> 00:40:14.269
coming back and over the last few years, we've, uh,
948
00:40:14.289 --> 00:40:15.230
had a great relationship.
949
00:40:15.570 --> 00:40:15.909
Yeah.
950
00:40:16.010 --> 00:40:18.730
I really, and you know, he's such a icon of
951
00:40:18.769 --> 00:40:22.159
show business. Um, you know, it's, uh, And really, that
952
00:40:22.219 --> 00:40:24.969
was my first opportunity. So I'm happy now to come back,
953
00:40:25.030 --> 00:40:27.400
and it's kind of fun, but it's also still incredibly
954
00:40:27.460 --> 00:40:29.119
frightening to me to do live performing.
955
00:40:29.719 --> 00:40:31.699
Like that so when they're counting it down and you know.
956
00:40:31.619 --> 00:40:33.519
Oh my god and also because they're rewriting all the
957
00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:35.840
time as you know on the show like literally the
958
00:40:36.070 --> 00:40:38.750
rewriting like the second one we did I think they
959
00:40:38.769 --> 00:40:40.690
were rewriting 30 seconds before we went on the air
960
00:40:41.170 --> 00:40:42.730
I mean it was insane.
961
00:40:42.269 --> 00:40:45.409
And then you're hoping I remember back in the day
962
00:40:45.429 --> 00:40:47.650
at SNL a script would change at the last second
963
00:40:47.670 --> 00:40:49.440
you have to go and check the cards and sometimes
964
00:40:49.559 --> 00:40:53.099
being underneath the bleachers checking the cards as they were
965
00:40:53.139 --> 00:40:56.059
coming back from commercial and they're taking the cards away
966
00:40:56.119 --> 00:40:57.980
from you and you're kind of walking with the cue
967
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:00.309
card guy to try and Make sure that two or
968
00:41:00.369 --> 00:41:02.210
three other lines get changed on the cards.
969
00:41:02.329 --> 00:41:05.320
And people have no idea. They
have no idea. How
970
00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:07.519
random and by the seat of the pants it is.
971
00:41:07.539 --> 00:41:07.719
Yeah.
972
00:41:07.780 --> 00:41:09.840
And how much rewriting is going on. And you kind
973
00:41:09.860 --> 00:41:10.769
of just have to go with it.
974
00:41:11.059 --> 00:41:13.360
And there's nothing like the experience of doing it, which
975
00:41:13.440 --> 00:41:15.219
is the fun part of it. It's just like, oh,
976
00:41:15.260 --> 00:41:17.639
you're doing Saturday Night Live and. You know, to be
977
00:41:17.679 --> 00:41:19.199
able to say live from New York at Saturday night,
978
00:41:19.219 --> 00:41:22.900
it's like, you know, that's like every kid's dream. It's comedy.
979
00:41:23.739 --> 00:41:26.019
Because you mentioned the miniseries Escape at Dannemora.
980
00:41:26.460 --> 00:41:29.039
That has got to be sort of a perfect gig
981
00:41:29.079 --> 00:41:31.320
for you in a way because it's as close as
982
00:41:31.340 --> 00:41:33.579
you can come to being sort of a complete master
983
00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:34.519
of your universe, right?
984
00:41:34.539 --> 00:41:34.639
Right.
985
00:41:35.190 --> 00:41:37.030
In terms of creating this thing?
986
00:41:37.050 --> 00:41:37.690
Oh, yeah.
987
00:41:37.869 --> 00:41:38.590
Telling this story?
988
00:41:38.630 --> 00:41:41.300
It's like a, you can just go into, it's like a,
989
00:41:41.550 --> 00:41:42.929
you know, I knew it was going to be like, okay,
990
00:41:42.949 --> 00:41:44.550
this is going to be like a year and a half,
991
00:41:45.380 --> 00:41:48.219
you know, just to like escape into this world. And
992
00:41:48.260 --> 00:41:50.860
I think, you know, when you're creating something, you're trying
993
00:41:50.920 --> 00:41:53.780
to both escape into it, but you're also trying to
994
00:41:53.820 --> 00:41:56.300
put yourself into it too, you know?
995
00:41:56.320 --> 00:42:00.960
Did you know when this story broke about these prisoners escaping?
996
00:42:02.039 --> 00:42:05.440
Did you know, okay, this is a story I want
997
00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:05.860
to tell?
998
00:42:06.340 --> 00:42:07.500
I didn't. I didn't even know.
999
00:42:07.599 --> 00:42:11.239
I was actually shooting Zoolander 2 in Italy when it happened,
1000
00:42:11.969 --> 00:42:13.630
and I didn't even know about it.
1001
00:42:13.639 --> 00:42:15.030
I mean, it was in the news a little bit.
1002
00:42:15.070 --> 00:42:17.949
And then the writers came to me with the idea,
1003
00:42:17.969 --> 00:42:21.429
the guys, Brett Johnson and Michael Tolkien, and they had
1004
00:42:21.449 --> 00:42:24.670
this idea to do it. And I learned about the story,
1005
00:42:24.690 --> 00:42:26.750
and I thought, oh, my God, this is amazing. And
1006
00:42:26.789 --> 00:42:28.909
how did this happen? How did these guys actually do
1007
00:42:28.949 --> 00:42:33.239
this old-school breakout in– 2015, where they sawed their way
1008
00:42:33.260 --> 00:42:35.170
through the back of
their cells. How does that happen?
1009
00:42:35.730 --> 00:42:38.510
And then learning about Tilly, the woman that they seduced.
1010
00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:41.570
that this was all going on. And then I, you know,
1011
00:42:41.590 --> 00:42:42.989
so the more that I learned about it, the more
1012
00:42:43.010 --> 00:42:44.929
I got into it. And then just, you know, yeah,
1013
00:42:44.949 --> 00:42:46.849
being able to dive into it and then just go, okay,
1014
00:42:46.869 --> 00:42:49.190
let's find out as much as we can and find
1015
00:42:49.230 --> 00:42:51.130
out the reality and go to the real place. And,
1016
00:42:51.309 --> 00:42:55.400
you know, it was, and not be in it as
1017
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:55.900
an actor.
1018
00:42:56.199 --> 00:42:59.039
It's awesome to see someone get to a point where
1019
00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:02.289
I can't conceive of something different you wouldn't be allowed
1020
00:43:02.309 --> 00:43:03.920
to do at this point if you wanted to do it.
1021
00:43:04.230 --> 00:43:07.489
I was surprised actually doing this, having this experience of
1022
00:43:07.510 --> 00:43:09.889
working on this thing, because I feel like, uh, I
1023
00:43:09.929 --> 00:43:12.909
thought maybe because I hadn't done a drama that people
1024
00:43:12.969 --> 00:43:18.260
might be a little more like resistant to it, you know? Um, yeah,
1025
00:43:18.280 --> 00:43:20.099
but that's, but I feel like people just want to
1026
00:43:20.139 --> 00:43:21.860
see something if it, if it works for them, you know,
1027
00:43:21.900 --> 00:43:24.320
they don't, they're not judging there. I'm thinking who directed something,
1028
00:43:24.340 --> 00:43:25.619
you know what I mean? Like most people don't even
1029
00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:28.929
know that there's a director that They know the word director.
1030
00:43:30.409 --> 00:43:33.090
That's a movie director. They make the thing. But I
1031
00:43:33.110 --> 00:43:34.829
don't think people are thinking about that when they watch something.
1032
00:43:34.929 --> 00:43:36.530
That's why you always need to have a cameo in
1033
00:43:36.570 --> 00:43:41.639
anything you do. And in your cameo, unlike Hitchcock, you
1034
00:43:41.679 --> 00:43:44.079
have to walk into frame, look right at the camera,
1035
00:43:44.420 --> 00:43:45.900
and a slight nod, and then walk off.
1036
00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:48.280
That's your way to say yeah. I should have done
1037
00:43:48.320 --> 00:43:49.380
that on this one.
1038
00:43:49.440 --> 00:43:51.039
Ben Stiller presents Escape.
1039
00:43:51.199 --> 00:43:55.659
They're tunneling out and just your head leans in the frame.
1040
00:43:55.739 --> 00:43:57.239
Keep going. Keep going.
1041
00:43:58.179 --> 00:44:02.289
I hope you're enjoying. Yeah, it's me. Back to directing.
1042
00:44:03.969 --> 00:44:07.610
This critic loved it. I've had one problem during the
1043
00:44:07.690 --> 00:44:08.590
tunneling scene.
1044
00:44:09.670 --> 00:44:11.889
I'd almost
forgotten Ben Stiller was directing this.
1045
00:44:11.929 --> 00:44:12.289
Yeah.
1046
00:44:12.530 --> 00:44:15.369
When you look at yourself in a funny scene from
1047
00:44:15.409 --> 00:44:19.420
a movie, can't can you make yourself laugh? Like, can you,
1048
00:44:19.500 --> 00:44:22.889
I'm thinking of specific, in Zoolander, when you're with your friends,
1049
00:44:23.449 --> 00:44:25.429
it's one of my favorite things in a movie, and
1050
00:44:26.130 --> 00:44:28.550
you're at the gas station, and you're such idiots, and
1051
00:44:28.590 --> 00:44:32.670
you start throwing gasoline on each other for fun. It
1052
00:44:32.730 --> 00:44:35.300
is one of the funniest things I've seen in a movie.
1053
00:44:36.039 --> 00:44:38.579
If you see that, if I was watching that with you,
1054
00:44:39.059 --> 00:44:41.840
would you chuckle at that, or would you just be
1055
00:44:41.940 --> 00:44:44.360
sort of staring? And I don't, I honestly don't know
1056
00:44:44.380 --> 00:44:44.760
the answer.
1057
00:44:45.619 --> 00:44:45.699
Um.
1058
00:44:47.260 --> 00:44:51.480
Not really. I chuckle at the fact that we did that.
1059
00:44:52.300 --> 00:44:53.179
Do you know what I mean?
1060
00:44:53.219 --> 00:44:54.059
Laughing to sleep.
1061
00:44:54.099 --> 00:44:55.150
No, like the same way.
1062
00:44:55.070 --> 00:44:57.809
I chuckle that we- Who throws gasoline at me?
1063
00:44:58.110 --> 00:44:59.969
It's not something you should do.
1064
00:44:59.989 --> 00:45:00.630
It's the greatest.
1065
00:45:00.929 --> 00:45:01.650
Yeah. Yeah.
1066
00:45:03.449 --> 00:45:04.710
But I also chuckle, the same way.
1067
00:45:04.670 --> 00:45:06.260
I laugh at the fact that we did Jesus Christ
1068
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:08.300
Superstar on your show, like the fact that we actually
1069
00:45:08.360 --> 00:45:08.820
did that.
1070
00:45:08.980 --> 00:45:09.460
Yeah.
1071
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:12.280
I did stumble onto, there's something about Mary the other-
1072
00:45:12.789 --> 00:45:14.469
day and I hadn't seen it like in a long,
1073
00:45:14.489 --> 00:45:16.030
long time. And I watch and I ended up watching
1074
00:45:16.050 --> 00:45:18.010
for like 15 minutes and I, and I, and I
1075
00:45:18.050 --> 00:45:21.030
was laughing at scenes, not like me being funny, but
1076
00:45:21.070 --> 00:45:22.989
just like this, like, like Matt Dillon is so funny.
1077
00:45:23.010 --> 00:45:23.070
Yes.
1078
00:45:23.110 --> 00:45:23.489
Yeah.
1079
00:45:23.550 --> 00:45:23.800
Yeah.
1080
00:45:24.059 --> 00:45:24.579
So funny.
1081
00:45:24.760 --> 00:45:24.960
Yeah.
1082
00:45:25.320 --> 00:45:27.239
Um, or like there's, you know, just a scenes that
1083
00:45:27.260 --> 00:45:29.019
I'm in where I go, okay, yeah, that, that, that
1084
00:45:29.079 --> 00:45:31.039
felt like it was working. I'm not like there while
1085
00:45:31.059 --> 00:45:33.280
I go, Oh my God. You know, it would be bad.
1086
00:45:33.679 --> 00:45:35.559
I still like, I'm not screwing
it up. Like, you know,
1087
00:45:35.579 --> 00:45:38.260
I watch and go, well, that worked, you know, that worked. Well,
1088
00:45:38.280 --> 00:45:39.179
I was going to say it would be bad if
1089
00:45:39.219 --> 00:45:42.800
you were saying, oh, my God, I'm so funny in this.
1090
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:44.909
Get in here, everybody. Look at me.
1091
00:45:45.469 --> 00:45:49.469
Well, I do that with my kids. And they love it.
1092
00:45:49.469 --> 00:45:51.349
I hate to throw them under the bus, but John Lovitz, oh,
1093
00:45:51.489 --> 00:45:53.090
he's just someone who's like, look at this.
1094
00:45:53.610 --> 00:45:56.650
Look what I did. You're like, yeah, you're really funny, John.
1095
00:45:56.789 --> 00:45:59.090
That's who John is. You know, yeah, he is that guy.
1096
00:45:59.130 --> 00:46:00.610
And I'll say that to his face, but he was
1097
00:46:00.630 --> 00:46:02.929
the kind of person who he'd come in and see
1098
00:46:02.969 --> 00:46:05.840
himself– In a classic SNL sketch and be like.
1099
00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:07.739
Look at that. It doesn't get better than that.
1100
00:46:07.780 --> 00:46:08.980
That's right.
1101
00:46:09.099 --> 00:46:11.760
By the way, John Lovitz is the person who brought
1102
00:46:11.929 --> 00:46:15.389
the videocassette of The Hustler of Money up to Lorne.
1103
00:46:15.429 --> 00:46:15.969
Oh, you're kidding.
1104
00:46:16.030 --> 00:46:18.170
And Jim Downey to look at. when I was trying
1105
00:46:18.190 --> 00:46:19.489
to get it on the show. Good for him.
1106
00:46:19.510 --> 00:46:19.909
Good for him.
1107
00:46:19.949 --> 00:46:21.650
So I'm thankful to him for doing that.
1108
00:46:21.670 --> 00:46:25.110
Yeah, he's a very sweet guy, and certainly not ashamed
1109
00:46:25.170 --> 00:46:27.900
of any of his best work, which he shouldn't be.
1110
00:46:27.889 --> 00:46:28.199
That's not me.
1111
00:46:28.199 --> 00:46:30.699
But no, I think of you, there's so many scenes
1112
00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:34.980
throughout your career where you've really made me laugh. The
1113
00:46:35.019 --> 00:46:38.500
scene in Meet the Parents where, I mean, my wife
1114
00:46:38.539 --> 00:46:40.340
and I have watched the scene, there's so much in
1115
00:46:40.380 --> 00:46:42.920
that movie that we love, but when you're finally just
1116
00:46:42.980 --> 00:46:46.489
going home on your own and you're being asked... by
1117
00:46:46.550 --> 00:46:50.840
that flight attendant to wait at the gate. And you're
1118
00:46:51.039 --> 00:46:54.139
so great in that scene. And I was thinking, I
1119
00:46:54.719 --> 00:46:57.840
hope Ben is able to Look at himself sometimes because
1120
00:46:58.079 --> 00:46:59.460
you've given me a lot of joy. You've given a
1121
00:46:59.500 --> 00:47:00.420
lot of people a lot of joy. I hope you're
1122
00:47:00.440 --> 00:47:03.280
able to like look at, watch yourself and chuckle sometimes.
1123
00:47:03.300 --> 00:47:04.619
That would be a shame if you couldn't.
1124
00:47:04.840 --> 00:47:05.820
No, I can sometimes.
1125
00:47:05.860 --> 00:47:07.800
I mean, like in that movie, if it's a scene
1126
00:47:07.820 --> 00:47:10.340
with De Niro, because I just, you know, it's Robert
1127
00:47:10.360 --> 00:47:10.800
De Niro.
1128
00:47:10.900 --> 00:47:13.360
Yeah. So when I see that, like I'm in a
1129
00:47:13.380 --> 00:47:16.199
movie with Robert De Niro, I still. Yes. You still
1130
00:47:16.239 --> 00:47:18.050
like that? You still think, wow. For sure.
1131
00:47:18.329 --> 00:47:18.590
Yeah.
1132
00:47:18.750 --> 00:47:20.610
The fact that like I'll occasionally get an email from
1133
00:47:20.650 --> 00:47:22.409
Robert De Niro is very exciting to me.
1134
00:47:24.170 --> 00:47:25.550
Of course.
1135
00:47:25.630 --> 00:47:26.869
So to be in a scene like that with him
1136
00:47:26.909 --> 00:47:29.760
and see him, and the dynamic is funny to me.
1137
00:47:30.139 --> 00:47:31.519
Like I said, if I see a scene where I go,
1138
00:47:31.559 --> 00:47:33.340
I didn't screw that up or the timing was good
1139
00:47:33.360 --> 00:47:37.119
or something like that, I can appreciate it. But I'm
1140
00:47:37.139 --> 00:47:38.929
not going to dwell on it, too, because then you
1141
00:47:38.949 --> 00:47:41.409
dwell on it too much. Then you're like, wow, that
1142
00:47:41.429 --> 00:47:41.969
was 20 years ago.
1143
00:47:45.059 --> 00:47:46.460
What have you done since, Diller?
1144
00:47:46.619 --> 00:47:51.019
Fascinating. Yeah. See, that's so funny. You've done a lot.
1145
00:47:51.179 --> 00:47:52.780
I know, but you know what I mean. But you
1146
00:47:52.800 --> 00:47:56.099
know what's crazy is that that is the, if there
1147
00:47:56.159 --> 00:47:59.929
is a common thread in this show, it's finding out
1148
00:47:59.989 --> 00:48:04.389
how many people I really admire who've had an incredible
1149
00:48:04.409 --> 00:48:09.150
amount of success are worried, not dwelling on it, and
1150
00:48:09.170 --> 00:48:13.650
a little anxious and insecure about it all. And that
1151
00:48:13.730 --> 00:48:16.210
is the thing that binds a lot of people together
1152
00:48:16.630 --> 00:48:17.289
in this business.
1153
00:48:17.429 --> 00:48:19.269
Yeah, I think it's a human thing. I think it's
1154
00:48:19.289 --> 00:48:19.769
really human.
1155
00:48:19.869 --> 00:48:23.030
And it also does push you forward to, it's the
1156
00:48:23.090 --> 00:48:25.809
balance of it. Because if it overtakes you, then that's
1157
00:48:25.869 --> 00:48:28.239
not healthy and not good. But if it pushes you
1158
00:48:28.300 --> 00:48:31.400
forward to go, okay, what am I, because I'm most
1159
00:48:31.460 --> 00:48:34.659
happy when I'm doing something creative, when I'm in process.
1160
00:48:34.820 --> 00:48:38.199
Because conversely, I'd say usually the favorite thing that I
1161
00:48:38.219 --> 00:48:40.940
worked on is something that I just finished working on. Right.
1162
00:48:41.579 --> 00:48:44.480
So it's like that thing where you just go, okay,
1163
00:48:44.539 --> 00:48:46.179
I want to figure out what's the next thing that's
1164
00:48:46.219 --> 00:48:51.090
going to feel creatively challenging and stimulating or exciting.
1165
00:48:51.110 --> 00:48:56.909
That sentence didn't end well. And then I heard, I
1166
00:48:56.929 --> 00:48:58.050
don't know if you can hear that, but you can
1167
00:48:58.090 --> 00:48:59.019
hear you kind of swallow.
1168
00:48:59.039 --> 00:49:01.039
Did you hear my swallow? Did everyone hear the swallow?
1169
00:49:01.079 --> 00:49:03.760
Make sure we, make sure we hear that swallow again.
1170
00:49:03.900 --> 00:49:10.260
Cause that really swallowed desperation. Uh, this was great.
1171
00:49:10.440 --> 00:49:12.769
And it's crazy to me that after all these years,
1172
00:49:12.829 --> 00:49:14.489
the way we can sit down finally and really have
1173
00:49:14.530 --> 00:49:15.130
a conversation.
1174
00:49:15.139 --> 00:49:15.440
I know.
1175
00:49:15.460 --> 00:49:17.219
I really, I really. When there's a bunch of. I
1176
00:49:17.239 --> 00:49:22.110
like it. Podcast microphones around. So let's go out for real. Okay.
1177
00:49:22.190 --> 00:49:23.730
And I'm going to need to record that too.
1178
00:49:23.750 --> 00:49:24.590
Okay.
1179
00:49:24.750 --> 00:49:26.650
Because you understand. This is a.
1180
00:49:26.659 --> 00:49:30.659
Financial windfall for me. There's hundreds of dollars in this.
1181
00:49:30.679 --> 00:49:32.599
I want to just hear you do your fake phone calls.
1182
00:49:34.340 --> 00:49:35.280
Hello, Mulroney?
1183
00:49:35.519 --> 00:49:35.860
No.
1184
00:49:36.500 --> 00:49:40.869
Tell him the cinnamon's out. And he knows it too.
1185
00:49:41.050 --> 00:49:42.570
It's always leaning into it.
1186
00:49:42.590 --> 00:49:43.050
No, no, no.
1187
00:49:43.070 --> 00:49:44.489
He's tried it before and he'll try it again.
1188
00:49:44.510 --> 00:49:44.590
Nope.
1189
00:49:45.170 --> 00:49:49.230
Tell him the turban didn't work either. It's all Woolridge,
1190
00:49:49.250 --> 00:49:51.429
if you ask me. And then people will just- Something
1191
00:49:51.449 --> 00:49:55.340
like pneumatic drills. There's some sort of engineering theme happening
1192
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:56.679
in your brain. Yeah, there's always drills.
1193
00:49:56.699 --> 00:49:57.480
There's always, yeah.
1194
00:49:57.579 --> 00:50:01.719
There's always, and me insisting, whenever I'm with Sona and
1195
00:50:01.739 --> 00:50:03.639
there are other people around, if Sona and I are
1196
00:50:03.679 --> 00:50:06.599
in an elevator, it's me. They get on the elevator
1197
00:50:06.619 --> 00:50:09.119
and I'm like- Just find the file. We need the file.
1198
00:50:10.159 --> 00:50:11.900
And if they can't find it, see if Hennessy knows
1199
00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:15.489
where it is. And there's no files. But I'm obsessed
1200
00:50:15.510 --> 00:50:16.750
with a filing system.
1201
00:50:16.809 --> 00:50:22.550
That's
like the plot to every Mission Impossible movie. Find
1202
00:50:22.570 --> 00:50:26.769
the file. And also, I wanted to mention that you're
1203
00:50:26.809 --> 00:50:28.510
more than his assistant, though, right?
1204
00:50:28.530 --> 00:50:31.110
Well, you're like a sidekick. What am I, your friend?
1205
00:50:31.210 --> 00:50:32.670
Well, I feel like you're a sidekick now.
1206
00:50:32.730 --> 00:50:34.679
Oh, she is. And you deserve to be paid as such. Oh,
1207
00:50:34.690 --> 00:50:36.769
thank you, Ben. When you guys were talking about payment
1208
00:50:36.789 --> 00:50:39.469
in the other... What are you doing? Sona's getting a little,
1209
00:50:40.219 --> 00:50:42.409
some financial help. Okay, okay. She's got some scratch on
1210
00:50:42.429 --> 00:50:42.820
the side.
1211
00:50:42.840 --> 00:50:43.119
Sure.
1212
00:50:43.219 --> 00:50:45.340
It's not just like the cute kind of folksy, hey,
1213
00:50:45.380 --> 00:50:47.219
this is my assistant who comes on the podcast.
1214
00:50:47.239 --> 00:50:50.059
Like, you're actually working. I am, but I am also
1215
00:50:50.239 --> 00:50:53.500
doing his schedule. I am his assistant. She is my assistant.
1216
00:50:53.519 --> 00:50:56.420
And that works out okay. Does it work out okay?
1217
00:50:56.440 --> 00:50:56.719
Yeah.
1218
00:50:57.039 --> 00:50:57.280
No.
1219
00:50:58.179 --> 00:51:00.940
No. Because I have a new assistant and I'm wondering
1220
00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:02.440
if I should start a podcast with her.
1221
00:51:02.539 --> 00:51:02.760
Yeah.
1222
00:51:03.219 --> 00:51:04.059
Maybe.
1223
00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:08.099
Yeah, it is funny because this is, An incredibly honest
1224
00:51:08.139 --> 00:51:09.340
relationship I've had with Sona.
1225
00:51:09.360 --> 00:51:12.130
We've been together nine years. Yeah, ten.
1226
00:51:12.230 --> 00:51:15.289
That's a long time for an assistant. Yeah, and she's
1227
00:51:15.329 --> 00:51:17.849
not going anywhere. We've tried to move her along. Yeah,
1228
00:51:17.929 --> 00:51:24.099
I've tried to leave. Just kidding. No, I'm kidding. And
1229
00:51:24.139 --> 00:51:26.360
wherever I go, people want to know where Sona is.
1230
00:51:26.420 --> 00:51:27.260
Oh, that's nice.
1231
00:51:27.360 --> 00:51:27.579
Yeah.
1232
00:51:27.619 --> 00:51:30.449
That's very nice. Yeah, but yeah. I mean, on this podcast,
1233
00:51:30.679 --> 00:51:32.570
I'm pretty sidekick-y. Wherever I go, yeah. No, but I
1234
00:51:32.570 --> 00:51:34.809
think it's good. It works really well, the whole energy.
1235
00:51:34.989 --> 00:51:38.190
Thank you. Yeah. And then Matt Gourley over here is always,
1236
00:51:38.230 --> 00:51:38.829
you know, just.
1237
00:51:38.909 --> 00:51:39.610
Oh, here we go.
1238
00:51:39.750 --> 00:51:41.289
Well, no, you know, he's a little bit of a,
1239
00:51:42.190 --> 00:51:43.989
you know, got a hipster vibe going on.
1240
00:51:44.030 --> 00:51:44.269
Oh, my God.
1241
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:46.539
It's just because.
1242
00:51:46.420 --> 00:51:47.570
I have a beard. It's the beard.
1243
00:51:47.889 --> 00:51:50.409
And I don't even normally have a beard. And he
1244
00:51:50.449 --> 00:51:53.449
also is always bringing in a craft brew. You had
1245
00:51:53.469 --> 00:51:55.190
a beard stage for a while. I did have a
1246
00:51:55.210 --> 00:51:55.630
beard stage.
1247
00:51:55.670 --> 00:51:56.230
And look at the.
1248
00:51:56.190 --> 00:51:57.960
Skinny tie and tight jacket here.
1249
00:51:58.900 --> 00:52:00.539
Can I just get a witness briefly?
1250
00:52:00.659 --> 00:52:02.760
Thank you very much. And I was in The Pretenders
1251
00:52:03.059 --> 00:52:10.969
in 1979. Yeah, this is a delight. This was really nice.
1252
00:52:11.010 --> 00:52:11.849
This was really fun.
1253
00:52:11.869 --> 00:52:12.590
And you know what?
1254
00:52:12.949 --> 00:52:15.769
When I heard that you were listening to the podcast
1255
00:52:15.809 --> 00:52:17.389
and enjoying it, I was thrilled.
1256
00:52:17.590 --> 00:52:19.809
I have to say there are a lot of podcasts now.
1257
00:52:20.030 --> 00:52:22.860
Like, there are a lot. And I've gotten into a couple,
1258
00:52:23.010 --> 00:52:25.760
but I don't– it's the same thing like with television shows.
1259
00:52:26.019 --> 00:52:28.860
I don't have that much bandwidth to really stick with things.
1260
00:52:29.119 --> 00:52:31.760
It's not like intentional. I just find myself dropping off.
1261
00:52:32.099 --> 00:52:35.579
But this one, literally, you laugh out loud.
1262
00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:36.079
Oh, that's nice.
1263
00:52:36.099 --> 00:52:36.599
I laugh out loud.
1264
00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:39.579
And there aren't that many that you laugh out loud
1265
00:52:39.719 --> 00:52:40.039
like that.
1266
00:52:40.300 --> 00:52:42.500
Thank you. We're going to use that in our advertisement.
1267
00:52:43.659 --> 00:52:45.139
You could check with my people.
1268
00:52:47.300 --> 00:52:48.159
Oh, I see how it is.
1269
00:52:48.360 --> 00:52:52.219
Possibly. Oh, okay. Or we could just use it, and
1270
00:52:52.260 --> 00:52:53.619
then maybe your people wouldn't know.
1271
00:52:53.719 --> 00:52:55.550
When you record our dinner, we can talk about it.
1272
00:52:58.860 --> 00:53:00.920
Not every day you meet an Irish legend.
1273
00:53:01.119 --> 00:53:02.420
I know what you mean, Coo Collum.
1274
00:53:02.659 --> 00:53:05.739
Leaping vast distances, holding off armies.
1275
00:53:05.900 --> 00:53:08.000
Eating tons of fresh grass.
1276
00:53:08.159 --> 00:53:08.440
What?
1277
00:53:08.579 --> 00:53:11.679
Not you, we're cows. That's one of the reasons Irish
1278
00:53:11.719 --> 00:53:15.400
milk is so good. It's famous all over the world.
1279
00:53:15.659 --> 00:53:17.880
Legend. Did you hear about the Murphys down the road?
1280
00:53:17.900 --> 00:53:18.019
I did.
1281
00:53:18.239 --> 00:53:19.909
And with the Walshes too, of all people. I heard
1282
00:53:19.929 --> 00:53:21.329
the Flins were at it as
well.
1283
00:53:21.349 --> 00:53:21.409
No.
1284
00:53:21.409 --> 00:53:22.030
Switchers.
1285
00:53:22.070 --> 00:53:22.590
The lot of them.
1286
00:53:22.690 --> 00:53:23.130
You know.
1287
00:53:39.170 --> 00:53:40.730
It might not be a bad idea.
1288
00:53:41.150 --> 00:53:41.449
Really?
1289
00:53:41.469 --> 00:53:44.230
I heard they all got a brilliant deal and saved
1290
00:53:44.309 --> 00:53:48.469
hundreds of euros switching their energy with Switcher.ie. Happy days.
1291
00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:50.119
Maybe we should join them.
1292
00:53:51.280 --> 00:53:54.820
See if you can save on your energy at Switcher.ie.
1293
00:53:55.239 --> 00:53:55.599
Switch.
1294
00:53:56.119 --> 00:53:56.539
Save.
1295
00:53:57.019 --> 00:53:57.780
Happy days.
1296
00:53:58.559 --> 00:54:02.320
Every day you make around 35,000 choices. What to wear?
1297
00:54:02.610 --> 00:54:06.239
Toaster cereal? One more episode or time for bed? The
1298
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last thing you need is to stress over your car insurance.
1299
00:54:08.969 --> 00:54:11.730
That's where Corn Market comes in. We make choosing your
1300
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car insurance simple. We do all the hard work so
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you don't have to spend your time comparing endless quotes.
1302
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Call us today and save up to € 200 off your
1303
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car insurance.
1304
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Cornmarket.
1305
00:54:21.969 --> 00:54:24.789
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1306
00:54:24.809 --> 00:54:27.889
take out a new policy by phone before 31st December 2026.
1307
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Discounts are up to a max 10% of the premium
1308
00:54:29.730 --> 00:54:32.690
and are subject to a minimum premium of € 355. Underwriter
1309
00:54:32.730 --> 00:54:35.530
eligibility criteria and T & Cs apply. Cornmarket Group Financial
1310
00:54:35.570 --> 00:54:37.530
Services Ltd is regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland.
1311
00:54:43.679 --> 00:54:46.039
Last time we recorded, I mentioned something that I had
1312
00:54:46.079 --> 00:54:48.199
that you seemed interested in. So Will, if you could
1313
00:54:48.340 --> 00:54:51.630
bring over the object in question here.
1314
00:54:52.170 --> 00:54:52.550
Thank you.
1315
00:54:52.829 --> 00:54:54.250
Will hands it off to Aaron.
1316
00:54:54.510 --> 00:54:56.719
Aaron hands it off to me and I hand it.
1317
00:54:57.110 --> 00:54:57.750
Oh, here we go.
1318
00:54:57.989 --> 00:54:58.409
Okay.
1319
00:54:58.650 --> 00:55:01.659
And grab that documentation too, so he doesn't call it
1320
00:55:01.699 --> 00:55:02.340
into question.
1321
00:55:02.559 --> 00:55:04.179
Okay. I am taking a look now.
1322
00:55:04.239 --> 00:55:06.869
As I recall, you said that this was the Private
1323
00:55:06.929 --> 00:55:12.539
telephone that was in Dwight D. Eisenhower, President Dwight D.
1324
00:55:12.699 --> 00:55:16.510
Eisenhower's
summer residence while he was in office.
1325
00:55:16.530 --> 00:55:16.929
Is that right?
1326
00:55:16.949 --> 00:55:17.409
That's right.
1327
00:55:17.429 --> 00:55:17.760
Yeah.
1328
00:55:18.030 --> 00:55:21.769
And then you've got letters that say, this is cool.
1329
00:55:25.269 --> 00:55:26.090
That's what it says.
1330
00:55:26.110 --> 00:55:29.900
Oh, Newport White House is what it says. It says
1331
00:55:29.960 --> 00:55:31.780
Newport White House. Was this Newport?
1332
00:55:31.800 --> 00:55:34.420
This was his summer, like, you know, like Mar-a-Lago is
1333
00:55:34.460 --> 00:55:37.480
to Trump. This was his summer White House. Please don't ever,
1334
00:55:37.659 --> 00:55:40.619
I understand. Lichen, the man who gave the okay at
1335
00:55:40.659 --> 00:55:41.619
the D-Day invasion.
1336
00:55:41.639 --> 00:55:42.550
I never would.
1337
00:55:42.639 --> 00:55:44.469
And rescued Europe to Donald Trump.
1338
00:55:45.449 --> 00:55:47.090
This was on his... Own desk.
1339
00:55:47.349 --> 00:55:50.010
And this is a very cool phone.
1340
00:55:50.750 --> 00:55:52.070
It's kind of a, I just want to put it
1341
00:55:52.090 --> 00:55:54.610
to my ear, forgetting that I was wearing headphones. That
1342
00:55:54.639 --> 00:55:58.000
was the clank of an idiot. This is very cool.
1343
00:55:58.059 --> 00:56:00.719
It's from the New England Telephone and Telegraph Company. It's
1344
00:56:00.780 --> 00:56:03.679
got that smell of an old phone. It's kind of
1345
00:56:03.699 --> 00:56:07.219
a pea soup green phone. It says Newport White House.
1346
00:56:07.579 --> 00:56:11.239
And there's all these documents. At President Eisenhower's personal telephone
1347
00:56:11.280 --> 00:56:14.449
at the summer White House in Newport. I love this stuff.
1348
00:56:14.719 --> 00:56:14.949
Yeah.
1349
00:56:15.300 --> 00:56:16.159
This is really cool.
1350
00:56:16.179 --> 00:56:20.349
Just to think that someone, this was sitting on Dwight
1351
00:56:20.409 --> 00:56:22.989
Eisenhower's desk, his summer residence, right?
1352
00:56:23.110 --> 00:56:23.349
Yeah.
1353
00:56:23.590 --> 00:56:25.869
So he had just been to the beach. Right.
1354
00:56:26.489 --> 00:56:29.840
And he was probably trying to get the sand off
1355
00:56:29.880 --> 00:56:31.619
of his feet. There might have been a starfish that
1356
00:56:31.639 --> 00:56:33.900
had gone down his bathing suit. He's trying to wiggle
1357
00:56:33.940 --> 00:56:34.360
that out.
1358
00:56:34.380 --> 00:56:34.980
What?
1359
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:39.039
He's like, oh, starfish. And his feet. Starfish in the
1360
00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:39.599
bathing suit.
1361
00:56:39.659 --> 00:56:41.300
And he's wiggling his butt to try and get that
1362
00:56:41.320 --> 00:56:43.489
to fall out. But you know how those things cling on.
1363
00:56:43.909 --> 00:56:44.110
And then.
1364
00:56:46.070 --> 00:56:48.309
And he picked this up, just as I'm picking it
1365
00:56:48.349 --> 00:56:48.809
up right.
1366
00:56:48.670 --> 00:56:52.590
Now, and he held it to his famous Eisenhower scowl.
1367
00:56:54.050 --> 00:56:54.789
What? What is it?
1368
00:56:54.849 --> 00:56:55.530
What's going on?
1369
00:56:55.769 --> 00:56:56.369
It's Mamie.
1370
00:56:56.750 --> 00:56:59.170
Mamie. Mamie Eisenhower, my wife.
1371
00:56:59.210 --> 00:57:00.349
Yeah, I know who I am.
1372
00:57:00.550 --> 00:57:00.869
I know.
1373
00:57:01.050 --> 00:57:02.349
I'm just laying out information.
1374
00:57:02.369 --> 00:57:03.210
Oh, okay.
1375
00:57:03.449 --> 00:57:06.510
Mamie, I've got a starfish in my bathing suit.
1376
00:57:06.570 --> 00:57:07.949
Again, Ike? Yes.
1377
00:57:08.369 --> 00:57:10.190
It's clinging to me.
1378
00:57:10.389 --> 00:57:12.369
If I had a dime. Oh, my God.
1379
00:57:12.409 --> 00:57:13.429
At least I'd have Roosevelt.
1380
00:57:13.469 --> 00:57:14.360
Now he could party.
1381
00:57:14.570 --> 00:57:17.360
Can't get it off. I'm shaking. I'll be right over.
1382
00:57:17.440 --> 00:57:19.079
I'm in the next room, for Christ's sake.
1383
00:57:19.260 --> 00:57:21.300
Why are you calling me from the next room instead
1384
00:57:21.340 --> 00:57:22.420
of just walking in?
1385
00:57:22.579 --> 00:57:24.400
Well, you just got that new phone installed.
1386
00:57:24.420 --> 00:57:29.750
I wanted to try it. Okay, well, hey, where's our daughter?
1387
00:57:29.909 --> 00:57:31.309
We sent her to D-Day.
1388
00:57:31.829 --> 00:57:32.110
What?
1389
00:57:32.210 --> 00:57:35.670
Oh, my God. He didn't send his daughter to D-Day invasion.
1390
00:57:35.730 --> 00:57:36.829
Oh, I have that wrong.
1391
00:57:36.909 --> 00:57:37.869
That's insane.
1392
00:57:38.030 --> 00:57:38.889
It was Iwo Jima.
1393
00:57:38.929 --> 00:57:40.239
Did he have a... Yeah, he had a daughter.
1394
00:57:40.260 --> 00:57:41.159
Sure he did.
1395
00:57:41.179 --> 00:57:41.480
Yeah.
1396
00:57:41.500 --> 00:57:43.219
Do you know that stuff, Mr. Smart Guy?
1397
00:57:43.500 --> 00:57:45.000
Wait, who are you talking to?
1398
00:57:45.340 --> 00:57:45.440
Oh.
1399
00:57:45.559 --> 00:57:48.320
You're always going on about this Mad Gorley character.
1400
00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:49.119
Who is this?
1401
00:57:49.260 --> 00:57:49.920
I'm sorry.
1402
00:57:49.980 --> 00:57:54.070
Sometimes I... You know, I'm famous for some of the...
1403
00:57:54.849 --> 00:57:57.170
cerebral issues that I've had as president.
1404
00:57:57.570 --> 00:57:59.250
That's why you sent our daughter to DJ.
1405
00:57:59.369 --> 00:58:00.309
Oh, my God.
1406
00:58:00.329 --> 00:58:02.030
Why don't you just will the phone to him and
1407
00:58:02.050 --> 00:58:03.920
make sure it ends up in his possession?
1408
00:58:04.139 --> 00:58:05.239
I'll will it to him, all right.
1409
00:58:05.280 --> 00:58:07.000
Why are we still talking to each other when you're
1410
00:58:07.039 --> 00:58:09.519
just in the next room? Why don't you come in
1411
00:58:09.559 --> 00:58:11.579
here and get this starfish off my ass?
1412
00:58:11.780 --> 00:58:12.400
I'll be right in.
1413
00:58:12.400 --> 00:58:16.050
And why is this improvisation so labored and unproductive?
1414
00:58:16.070 --> 00:58:16.429
I don't know.
1415
00:58:16.750 --> 00:58:16.969
No.
1416
00:58:17.269 --> 00:58:19.829
Have you never had an improv class, Mamie?
1417
00:58:19.849 --> 00:58:21.750
As a matter of fact, I have.
1418
00:58:21.809 --> 00:58:23.550
I studied with Viola Spolin.
1419
00:58:24.019 --> 00:58:24.900
Oh, really?
1420
00:58:25.059 --> 00:58:26.599
I didn't understand.
1421
00:58:27.099 --> 00:58:30.199
Well, anyway, as you know, I'm serving an eight-year term
1422
00:58:30.860 --> 00:58:33.739
because I had two four-year terms. I also, you know,
1423
00:58:33.780 --> 00:58:35.860
I'm building the nation's highway system, Amy.
1424
00:58:36.119 --> 00:58:39.340
Yeah, are you as worried about the industrial military complex
1425
00:58:39.400 --> 00:58:40.000
as I am?
1426
00:58:40.219 --> 00:58:42.820
Well, I'm going to talk about that in my farewell address.
1427
00:58:43.159 --> 00:58:43.260
Oh.
1428
00:58:43.360 --> 00:58:45.519
But we'll talk about that later on, and it will
1429
00:58:45.539 --> 00:58:48.480
be featured as part of Oliver Stone's movie, JFK.
1430
00:58:48.980 --> 00:58:50.800
Okay, come on in here, and let me get that
1431
00:58:50.900 --> 00:58:51.699
starfish off.
1432
00:58:51.780 --> 00:58:55.199
No, is that a code for anything? Or are you
1433
00:58:55.239 --> 00:58:56.800
really just going to take the starfish off?
1434
00:58:56.860 --> 00:58:58.239
No, I'm wearing my kimono.
1435
00:58:58.260 --> 00:58:59.900
Oh, JFK. Oh, God.
1436
00:59:00.480 --> 00:59:02.000
I find this very inappropriate.
1437
00:59:02.019 --> 00:59:02.099
Rich.
1438
00:59:02.530 --> 00:59:04.380
Well, I'm having this phone ripped out.
1439
00:59:04.340 --> 00:59:07.139
Of the wall right now, and I'm going to send
1440
00:59:07.179 --> 00:59:10.739
it off to that imaginary Gorley freak. Someday, when radio
1441
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:14.769
comes back in a less efficient form, as something you
1442
00:59:14.789 --> 00:59:15.409
get through.
1443
00:59:15.250 --> 00:59:16.630
A personal computer.
1444
00:59:16.650 --> 00:59:17.469
A what now?
1445
00:59:17.710 --> 00:59:18.230
You'll see.
1446
00:59:18.769 --> 00:59:21.130
I will make sure that Gorley gets it, because he'll
1447
00:59:21.150 --> 00:59:22.809
have what's called a podcast.
1448
00:59:22.909 --> 00:59:23.809
And how do I watch it?
1449
00:59:24.210 --> 00:59:26.110
He'll work for a genius, but he won't know it.
1450
00:59:26.360 --> 00:59:29.559
He'll just henpeck him to death. With little facts. He
1451
00:59:29.599 --> 00:59:30.119
sure will.
1452
00:59:30.320 --> 00:59:30.559
Yes.
1453
00:59:31.000 --> 00:59:32.619
Well, I better hang this phone up now.
1454
00:59:32.900 --> 00:59:33.280
Bye.
1455
00:59:33.400 --> 00:59:33.619
Bye.
1456
00:59:33.659 --> 00:59:34.039
Love you.
1457
00:59:34.260 --> 00:59:34.480
What?
1458
00:59:34.719 --> 00:59:35.130
I love you.
1459
00:59:35.139 --> 00:59:37.480
That's not something couples said to each other in the 50s.
1460
00:59:37.619 --> 00:59:38.940
I know, but I want this to go out on
1461
00:59:38.980 --> 00:59:40.900
a podcast in the future when it's okay.
1462
00:59:41.139 --> 00:59:41.559
Okay.
1463
00:59:41.880 --> 00:59:43.079
Well, there you have it.
1464
00:59:44.360 --> 00:59:45.239
Goodbye, everybody.
1465
00:59:49.260 --> 00:59:52.780
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Sonam Ovsessian and Conan
1466
00:59:52.840 --> 00:59:57.230
O'Brien as himself. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1467
00:59:57.250 --> 01:00:00.170
by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and
1468
01:00:00.250 --> 01:00:03.769
Chris Bannon and Colin Anderson at Earwolf. Special thanks to
1469
01:00:03.809 --> 01:00:07.409
Jack White for the theme song. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1470
01:00:09.789 --> 01:00:12.469
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and the show is
1471
01:00:12.510 --> 01:00:15.110
engineered by Will Becton. You can rate and review this
1472
01:00:15.150 --> 01:00:17.769
show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review
1473
01:00:17.809 --> 01:00:20.570
featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
1474
01:00:20.820 --> 01:00:26.800
Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It, too,
1475
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could be featured on a future episode. And if you
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haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
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on Apple Podcasts or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This
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has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.