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Before we start today, I want to say this right up front.
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If you've been feeling dry, tired, or disconnected, this episode is for you.
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Welcome to Breaking Free with Katina Lee, a Christian, faith-based podcast and a safe place to land as you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
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Here we're gonna speak peace over fear, truth over shame, and Jesus over the places that still hurt.
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Whether you're carrying heartbreak, trauma, anxiety, loss, or wounds that still haven't fully healed, you're welcome here.
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So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's take the next step forward together.
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While I was in Charleston, South Carolina, I learned about something called the resurrection fern.
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And honestly, the moment I heard about them, I knew that there was a deeper lesson in it.
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Because resurrection ferns are fascinating little plants.
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During dry seasons, they curl up and they turn brown, they become brittle.
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And if you're looking at them, they really look like they're completely dead.
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And they're everywhere in Charleston.
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It looks like all of these trees have just all of this dead stuff on them.
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You could walk right up and assume that there is literally nothing left alive in there anymore.
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But the interesting thing is, they aren't dead.
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They're just dormant.
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And the moment that the rain comes, the moment moisture returns, they begin unfolding again.
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Green returns, life returns, softness returns.
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Something that looked dead was still alive underneath the surface the whole time.
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And the moment the rain returns, the moment the moisture returns, they begin unfolding.
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Green returns, life returns, softness returns.
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Instantly, something that looked completely dead was still alive underneath the surface the entire time.
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And honestly, I think there's so many women walking around feeling exactly like resurrection ferns.
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Exhausted, dry, disconnected, emotionally curled inward, wondering where the life in them went, staring at themselves in the mirror, feeling like they're looking at a complete stranger.
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And maybe some of you listening feel that way right now.
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Maybe not dramatic, maybe not falling apart publicly, just tired, spiritually dry, emotionally numb, disconnected from joy and from yourself and disconnected from hope.
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And maybe part of what hurts the most is you don't even fully recognize yourself anymore.
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I think survival mode does that sometimes, especially after years of heartbreak and trauma and caring for everyone else and dealing with disappointment and emotional exhaustion, and then there's all of the people pleasing and the overfunctioning, trying to hold everything together.
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Eventually, something in you starts conserving energy, protecting itself, shutting down emotionally, pulling inward, and from the outside, it can look like someone is functioning normally.
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They go to work, they pay the bills, they take care of responsibilities, they smile in conversation, they keep showing up, but internally they feel dry.
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And honestly, I think one of the loneliest feelings in the world is wondering where you went.
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Wondering what happened to me.
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Why don't I feel alive anymore?
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Why does everything feel so heavy?
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Why can't I feel joy the way I used to?
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And if you ever felt that way, I want you to hear this gently today.
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Dry does not mean dead.
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That matters.
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Because many people assume the absence of visible life means life is gone.
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But sometimes life is simply waiting for nourishment.
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And honestly, I think this is especially true spiritually.
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There are seasons where people stop feeling emotionally connected to God.
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Stop feeling emotionally connected to themselves, stop feeling emotionally connected to purpose, and immediately shame enters.
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What's wrong with me?
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Why don't I feel God?
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Why do I feel numb?
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Why can't I pull myself back together?
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But maybe what's happening isn't death.
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Maybe it's exhaustion.
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Maybe your soul has been surviving drought conditions for a long time.
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And drought changes things.
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Even emotionally healthy people become tired when they go too long without rest, without safety, without nourishment, without emotional honesty, without connection.
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And honestly, many women have spent years pouring themselves out while receiving very little replenishment in return.
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So eventually they begin curling inward emotionally, not because they're weak, not because they're failures, but because survival
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sometimes requires conservation.
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And I think one of the most beautiful things about resurrection ferns is this.
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They do not create their own rain.
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They simply respond when nourishment arrives.
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And honestly, that hit me deeply.
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Because I think many women are trying to force themselves back to life through pressure, trying harder, performing harder, pushing harder, criticizing themselves harder.
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But healing rarely happens through self-punishment.
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Life usually returns through nourishment.
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Gentleness, safety, rest, truth, connection, grace, presence, all of the beautiful things.
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And maybe part of healing is learning how to receive nourishment again.
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Because some of you may feel like too much time has passed, too many years wasted, too much pain endured, too much disappointment experienced.
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It's too late.
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And maybe part of you wonders, what if I never feel fully alive again?
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But healing is full of quiet resurrections.
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Sometimes joy returns slowly, sometimes peace returns slowly, sometimes hope unfolds gradually.
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But that doesn't make it less real.
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And honestly, I think many people underestimate how much environment affects healing.
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Resurrection ferns do not revive in drought conditions.
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They revive when rain comes.
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And people are similar.
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Healing environments matter.
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Safe people matter, rest matters, honesty matters, support matters, the presence of God matters.
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Because some people are trying to bloom in environments that continuously wound them.
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And maybe one of the hardest healing truths is realizing you cannot constantly live in emotional drought and expect your nervous system to flourish.
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That's not weakness, that's reality.
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And I think this connects to something else too.
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Sometimes when people have lived in survival mode for a long time, they stop expecting life to return it all.
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They become resigned.
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This is just my personality.
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This is just what life feels like for me.
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But maybe some things only looked dead.
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Maybe joy is still in there.
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Maybe softness is still in there and creativity and hope.
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Maybe the woman you used to be, or maybe even the woman you're becoming, is still alive underneath all the dryness.
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And honestly, I think God specializes in resurrection.
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There's a few stories I could tell you about that one if you don't know them already.
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But it's not just physical resurrection, emotional resurrection too.
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Hope resurrected, identity resurrected, peace resurrected, joy resurrected, purpose resurrected.
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Not instantly always, and definitely not always dramatic, but gently, quietly, patiently, and maybe that's where some of you are right now.
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You're not dead.
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You're just dry.
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You're not broken beyond repair, just emotionally exhausted.
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You're certainly not abandoned by God, just needing nourishment again.
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And honestly, I think there's something really beautiful about knowing resurrection ferns were designed this way.
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They were created with the ability to survive difficult seasons.
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And I believe that you were too.
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Maybe survival did not destroy you, maybe it simply curled parts of you inward temporarily while you endured what you had to endure.
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But survival is not meant to be your permanent home.
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At some point, the rain comes.
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At some point, safety comes, healing comes, rest comes, truth comes, gentleness comes, and slowly life begins unfolding again.
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Not because you forced yourself into healing, but because something inside you is still alive all along.
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And maybe that's what I hope you hear today more than anything else.
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Some things only looked dead.
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I'd like to pray with you.
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Heavenly Father, for every listener who feels emotionally dry, exhausted, or disconnected, bring nourishment to the places that have been surviving too long without rest.
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Remind them that dry does not mean dead, and help them stop mistaking exhaustion for failure.
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Bring healing environments, safe people, gentle truth, and your presence into the places that have felt empty for a long time and where people have begun believing they are too far gone.
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Whisper hope there again.
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Help life unfold slowly in them again.
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Joy, peace, purpose, and remind us that you are still the God of resurrection.
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In Jesus' name.
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Amen.
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Thank you for spending this time with me today.
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If something here stayed with you, let it settle.
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There's no rush.
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And if this podcast has encouraged you, I'd be grateful if you'd just take a minute and follow the show and leave a review.
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Reviews help more people find these conversations, and every one of them means more than you know.
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As a thank you, I've created a free 28-day port swing devotional filled with scripture and reflections.
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Simply send a screenshot of your review through katina lee.com and I'll send a copy your way.
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Breaking free with Katina Lee is proudly sponsored by KatinaLee.com.
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A safe place to land while you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
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There you'll find my blog, books, coaching information, and additional resources created to support you on your journey.
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Until next time, may you walk gently with yourself and know that you are not alone.
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And may you continue to speak Jesus over your mind, your body, your healing, and every part of your story.
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You don't have to have it all figured out.
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You just have to start somewhere safe.
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This is Breaking Free with Katina Lee.