TRANSKRIPT 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:01.600 --> 00:00:15.119
First of all, I just want to dedicate today's podcast episode to singer and songwriter D'Angelo Michael Archer who died today, last year, from pancreatic cancer.
00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:26.239
And I never would have predicted it, but that loss, oof, in the creative world, it hit me super hard, and it took me months, literal months, to recover.
00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:33.759
I realized like how much of him was actually in the fabric of my own being, my own coming of age.
00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:38.159
I was in my teens, I was 15 or 16 when his music came out.
00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:44.079
And you know, just simply my love for his music, it was the soundtrack to so much of my life.
00:00:44.399 --> 00:00:48.479
His music, his creativity truly came from the soul.
00:00:48.560 --> 00:00:50.159
Like this is a great example.
00:00:50.399 --> 00:00:54.880
He was a great example of what a real creative is like.
00:01:20.799 --> 00:01:31.439
So without further ado, welcome to Between the Tabs, the mood board podcast, where creativity, growth, and business meet the real life happening between it all.
00:01:31.599 --> 00:01:41.519
I'm your host, Clyde Jean, and we're gonna talk about the stuff that lives between work and who you are, and we're gonna do it in four parts, like usual.
00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:46.079
So go ahead and grab your drink, grab your snack, and let's hop into part one.
00:01:46.799 --> 00:01:50.079
And part one takes us to visibility again.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:02:10.319
I think we've mentioned this before on the podcast, but something I just wanted to mention, I've been noticing on social media, is that the introverted creatives, you know, we are out here, and a lot of them are starting to take that leap to be visible on social media, actually showing their faces, doing the whole talking head thing.
00:02:10.639 --> 00:02:14.879
I'm I've just been seeing a few creatives of color in particular.
00:02:15.280 --> 00:02:43.680
I wish I jotted down some of the names of the accounts that I've been seeing, but I know there's one young black woman in particular who comes to mind right now who is literally documenting her journey as a specifically introverted creative and getting out there and being visible, and she was just talking about in the series she created, like what she's been feeling, what's been the biggest challenges in going out there and getting visible.
00:02:43.840 --> 00:03:02.800
And I love, love, love seeing this because you know, introverts, those who also just would rather work behind the scenes, like the depth of the minds and the hearts and the souls of these types of people, of these creatives, is really fascinating.
00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:10.879
And some of the stuff that they can bring to the table, to the conversation, was so wildly different, so imaginative, so visionary.
00:03:11.039 --> 00:03:13.759
And so I'm really, really glad to see this movement.
00:03:13.840 --> 00:03:26.960
And I'm hoping that I see more introverts more kind of deeply thinking, behind the scenes, just doing their thing, type creatives who are very sensitive, like Erica Badu said, you know, sensitive about my shit.
00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:44.960
So I hope that more of those people, like and myself too, I'm included in this category, get out there and put their faces out there if that feels right, or put their voices or their writings, whatever it is, like actually put it out there because the world needs you, the world needs your voice, the world needs your perspective.
00:03:45.039 --> 00:04:07.840
It's likely a more loving, not to say this in a naive way, but a more loving and connecting and I don't know, useful, helpful type of perspective than what we normally get out there from like the narcissists and the sociopaths and paths and psychopaths who are kind of running the world right now.
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.840
So it's a huge, huge breath of fresh air to see that this is a thing that's happening.
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:18.240
I do struggle as an introvert with showing up to be to be visible.
00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:32.800
You see that in that I take these big breaks all of a sudden from social media, from posting on the podcast or on my blog, because it just takes a lot out of me to put my words and my thought process and my ideas and everything out there.
00:04:32.959 --> 00:04:34.399
So the struggle is real.
00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:50.000
I haven't yet found an easy way to do this, and I should document the process myself because I am in I don't know which phase, which point, which era of my content creation, you know, giving it another try.
00:04:50.079 --> 00:05:02.639
And I keep putting it down and picking it back up, and I think it's something worth it for me to do because again, our voices really do, and our perspectives, no matter how quirky or weird we think they are, they do need to be heard.
00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:31.759
So the thing that I struggle with here is like putting on a mask to perform when I'm out and be invisible, and kind of letting that go, letting that mask recede, and letting that talking head post or that blog article be a real honest-to-goodness thing that is coming up in my soul or in my heart or in my mind, and so that's kind of the crux of where I struggle with that.
00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:44.319
And you can, I don't know, shoot me an email, shoot me a DM on Instagram, let me know what your struggles are with being visible as a sensitive, energy sensitive, possibly introverted creative.
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:46.959
All right, so part two.
00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:51.680
Something that speaking of behind the scenes, you know, rabbit hole.
00:05:51.920 --> 00:05:56.560
I know that you, if you're listening to this, you appreciate a good rabbit hole dive.
00:05:56.639 --> 00:06:01.439
And so I went on one about like what does sleep have to do with creativity?
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:04.319
Like, how do those things
Load full transcript
correlate with each other?
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:07.120
And what if we're not getting enough good sleep?
00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:09.759
What does that mean when it comes to our creativity?
00:06:10.079 --> 00:06:21.360
So I did a quick duck duck go search because I don't use Google as my search engine, and one of the websites that came up, I just really was drawn to the name, is called Each Night.
00:06:21.600 --> 00:06:22.879
So each night.com.
00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:27.439
I'll link the the article that I found that I thought was really cool.
00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:37.759
And so I'll let you know just two of the things that came up in that article about how sleep relates to creative thinking or creativity.
00:06:39.279 --> 00:06:56.160
So the one number one of the two things I want to share from this article is that number one, sleep plays a fundamental role in creativity as it impacts both sides of the brain, enhancing imaginative thinking and the ability to solve problems.
00:06:56.319 --> 00:06:59.279
So that was just me reading directly from the article.
00:06:59.439 --> 00:07:28.720
But basically, if we don't get enough sleep, then our abilities to actually imagine, you know, have those aha moments in the shower or when you're just walking to the metro or driving to do an errand or something, though those abilities to just for those ideas to just pop up without effort and flow through, if there's not enough sleep in the room, okay, then you have to do more effort in order to make that happen, okay?
00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:32.879
So there's that, and then the ability to solve problems.
00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:39.519
So there's on the one side of the spectrum with creativity, just like the ideas flowing up out of the ether, right?
00:07:39.600 --> 00:07:40.720
That we just talked about.
00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:52.959
And then the other part of it is our problem-solving skills, our what a lot of people call scrappiness or just drive, or just that ability to make something out of nothing, right?
00:07:53.360 --> 00:08:12.959
And this is something a lot of women have in particular, but uh in general, like that ability to solve a problem on the spot, like just make something happen that you want to happen, even though there's blockades, there's challenges, there's things that pop up that get in the way of making this thing happen.
00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:16.000
You know, that thing turns into a problem to be solved, right?
00:08:16.160 --> 00:08:19.120
So your ability to solve that problem diminishes a bit.
00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:29.759
It doesn't say how much, so I'm not talking like percentages, like if you don't get this amount of sleep per night every night, then your ability to problem solve decreases by 17%.
00:08:30.480 --> 00:08:33.519
It's not like that, but it's just common sense, right?
00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:41.440
Even from getting again through this article, some of the actual case studies and things like that that support this statement.
00:08:41.679 --> 00:09:00.320
And so the second thing is I'll just read it as well: sleep deprivation can impair creativity by causing poor memory, reduced focus, inability to track and focus on complex tasks, increased mistakes, erratic behavior, and heightened negative emotions.
00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:04.799
Prioritizing good sleep habits is essential for nurturing creative thinking.
00:09:04.960 --> 00:09:21.200
And the reason I pulled this one out in particular is because a lot of these symptoms of sleep deprivation are very similar to symptoms of other things like high stress, chronic stress, being in like an abusive situation.
00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:25.360
If you're dealing with a narcissist, these are some of the same kinds of things that can come up.
00:09:25.600 --> 00:09:42.080
So there's other areas of our lives where these same poor memory, perimenopause, perimenopause coupled with ADHD, like these same things are coming up in different scenarios in our lives as well.
00:09:42.320 --> 00:09:44.799
So why add on top of that, right?
00:09:44.879 --> 00:09:49.120
You're probably experiencing some level of constant stress, of chronic stress.
00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:59.759
Like, let's be real, the world is basically on fire, and we're sitting here forced to engage in late-stage capitalism to try to just survive it, right?
00:10:00.080 --> 00:10:10.399
And so sleep deprivation on top of all of that, and everything else that we're dealing with in our personal lives, just kind of increases those same types of symptoms.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:27.519
Again, with the poor memory, the erratic behavior, making mistakes all the time, like dropping things, things like that, adding sleep deprivation or lack of enough sleep on top of everything else just makes it all worse.
00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:34.720
And so then you having to fight through even more in your daily life if you're dealing with anything like some of the stuff I mentioned.
00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:58.240
So that just has me thinking about in general how creatives, you know, women creatives, creatives who are already heightened energy sensitive, creatives who have their own businesses, so there's that pressure on your creativity to actually allow you to make ends meet, to live a lifestyle that is comfortable enough.
00:10:58.559 --> 00:11:10.399
And so if we on top of all of that put sleep deprivation or not getting enough sleep on top of it, it just makes things it makes things a lot harder.
00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:16.960
So that was that little rabbit hole about hmm, how does sleep correlate with creativity?
00:11:17.120 --> 00:11:18.720
And this is where it got me.
00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:20.399
I hope it was helpful for you.
00:11:20.720 --> 00:11:32.639
You know, really common sense stuff, but especially that second point about all of the symptoms, it was just a strong reminder to me that hey, already got a lot of stuff going on, don't need to add sleep deprivation on top of
it.
00:11:32.799 --> 00:11:36.720
And it's hard, it's hard, especially for me, particularly as a mom as well.
00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:49.840
So, other moms listening, you might understand this, you know, like when the kids go to bed, if you have younger kids, both of mine are under 10, and you get that moment of silence finally in the house after they're going to bed.
00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:50.480
What do you do?
00:11:50.639 --> 00:11:52.639
You want to stay up and enjoy that silence.
00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:54.320
I think there's an actual name for it.
00:11:54.399 --> 00:12:00.480
So if somebody wants to send me a DM or something with the name for that, I would appreciate it.
00:12:00.799 --> 00:12:16.240
But there's that thing where you are just excited to stay up and and experience that alone time, that quiet time, that your sensitive brain and heart and body have been yearning for the entire day.
00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:24.480
So there's that part as well to make it a little bit harder to go ahead and go your butt to sleep, at least in my case.
00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:26.159
All right, creative babes.
00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:26.720
Let's see.
00:12:26.879 --> 00:12:30.159
Number three, point number three, we're already there.
00:12:30.399 --> 00:12:37.759
And this one is just kind of an update in general about where I am, where the business is, where we're going, right?
00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:39.919
Where Soft Sunday is going.
00:12:40.320 --> 00:12:48.320
So I just want to kind of applaud myself, celebrate myself right here in public, being visible, doing it.
00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:56.240
This is a really important part of going out there and chasing your dreams, doing things that you want to, doing things that are off the beaten path.
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:58.240
I want to normalize this for you as well.
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:02.559
Like celebrate what you have accomplished because shit is hard.
00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:08.240
Whatever you're creating is something that hasn't been done before, or at least it hasn't been done before the way you want to do it.
00:13:08.399 --> 00:13:14.000
So taking those steps to make that happen, bravo to you and bravo to me too.
00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:17.120
So I have built a whole lot.
00:13:17.279 --> 00:13:21.279
I rebuilt Soft Sunday from January to June.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:26.000
So first half of this year, 2026, was full-on rebuild moment.
00:13:26.080 --> 00:13:32.000
So that's January to June, then July, August, September, crickets, nothing.
00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:34.879
I flew too close to the suns.
00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:39.120
It was a lot to do six months of straight up building.
00:13:39.279 --> 00:13:40.000
It was a lot.
00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:45.120
I don't know if anybody else out there listening understands, knows what I'm talking about.
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:46.320
Can I get an amen?
00:13:47.039 --> 00:13:48.879
If you know exactly what I'm talking about.
00:13:49.279 --> 00:13:53.679
So, yeah, July, August, September were pretty, pretty quiet.
00:13:53.919 --> 00:13:56.000
There was nothing going on business-wise.
00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:58.159
Well, there was something going on, but you know what?
00:13:58.240 --> 00:14:00.159
We're gonna talk about that another time.
00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:07.120
So now we're here in October and I'm picking up where I left off uh in June.
00:14:07.600 --> 00:14:11.840
It's October, and I'm continuing the build from January to June.
00:14:12.159 --> 00:14:16.960
Holy F balls, yo, I rebuilt and relaunched my website.
00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:25.679
Okay, I built a course which I have yet to put into my course platform, the Boku Boundaries self-study course.
00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:26.720
But it's coming.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:28.080
I built it, it's all built.
00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:30.080
I just need to actually put it in there.
00:14:30.240 --> 00:14:40.240
I participated in some bundles to grow my audience to try to make sure that the people who are out there on my email list are people who want to hear what I'm talking about.
00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:43.759
I created a newsletter, a whole new newsletter, a whole new layout.
00:14:43.919 --> 00:14:48.720
I started blogging in a completely different way, renamed the blog to On the Precipice.
00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:51.039
It feels so good, it feels so aligned.
00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:55.759
Like I'm excited to actually write my blog post now, so I got more in alignment there.
00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:57.919
Personally, also I made some huge steps.
00:14:58.000 --> 00:15:03.519
I can't talk about them yet, things aren't finished, but I did do a lot of things on the personal side too.
00:15:03.759 --> 00:15:14.559
One of them was that I renewed the US passport for one of my kids for my five-year-old, and it's a little bit more difficult to do overseas, it takes a few more steps.
00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:15.519
So that's a win.
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:17.039
That's a huge win as well.
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:24.480
Oh, I created two workshops, I added on two more low-ticket items that during that time period.
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:28.639
Yeah, like I did so so so so so much.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:37.919
And oh, and my proudest moment from that time period, proudest moment, was finally creating my resources page.
00:15:38.240 --> 00:15:40.639
Yo, creative cousins.
00:15:40.799 --> 00:15:44.080
I wanted to create it a resource page for years.
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:50.080
It was just to have like my low-ticket items on there, like an actual storefront.
00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:54.639
I don't know why, it just it's something I wanted so bad, and so I finally did it.
00:15:54.879 --> 00:15:56.639
That one, yeah, that's a big one for me.
00:15:56.720 --> 00:15:57.759
I'm so excited about that.
00:15:57.840 --> 00:16:03.600
Please go to my resources page at softsunday.com forward slash resources.
00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:05.039
Love it, like it.
00:16:05.120 --> 00:16:07.919
There's a bunch of free stuff, there's a bunch of low-ticket stuff.
00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:24.879
It's there's just all good stuff all related to the work that and the support that helps you to take your own path as a creative and dare to do your own thing without burning out, without abandoning yourself, without losing yourself.
00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:26.240
There's sacrifice, right?
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:31.440
When we're on our own paths, we have to maybe work hard for an extensive period of time.
00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:37.600
We maybe have to give up on some other things for the moment if we're focusing on that.
00:16:38.159 --> 00:16:40.960
There's definitely sacrifices, and it's definitely hard.
00:16:41.279 --> 00:16:58.559
But what my goal is for myself and for you all is to provide that type of support and these types of reminders and these types of structures to help you do all of this without abandoning yourself and without burning out.
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:02.879
I think I might even document this process for myself.
00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:03.600
I don't know.
00:17:03.759 --> 00:17:06.319
Just think, look, I'm already thinking of something new to do.
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:08.400
I still have a whole bunch of stuff to wrap up.
00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:09.359
Let me stop.
00:17:09.599 --> 00:17:22.640
So, speaking of what's coming next, what's on the horizon, the one thing I want to talk about is something I've been building slowly over the course of the summer, something I just alluded to earlier when I started this part three.
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:36.640
And so June, July, August, September, I've been slowly building my first in real life, my first IRL offer in years, and that is Thai Yoga body work.
00:17:36.880 --> 00:17:40.319
I started doing Thai Yoga body work, and this is Thai massage basically.
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:46.880
I started doing it in 2013, getting certified, started taking on clients in 2014.
00:17:47.119 --> 00:18:04.160
This was back when I lived in Washington, DC, and even when I moved to Paris, I took on a few clients as well, but then after my second pregnancy, I oh gosh, I couldn't do anything leading up to that birth, and it took me a long time.
00:18:04.319 --> 00:18:14.480
Honestly, I often say my postpartum period for my second and last child for that birth, it was about four and a half years.
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:23.599
So don't let anybody tell you that, oh, postpartum is only like three months or two months or this, you know, or that it's different for everybody.
00:18:23.759 --> 00:18:42.480
It depends very largely on what kind of support you have, on what kind of access you have to whatever it is you need, what kind of comfort that you have, just what you're dealing with at home, at work, what your past history is psychologically and otherwise, like it depends on so much.
00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:45.039
It is so uniquely individual.
00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:48.480
So don't let anybody
tell you what postpartum is.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:57.519
Mine was four and a half years, kid you not, and it's it even though it might sound like oh wow, that's so long.
00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:06.000
I am definitely sure that many, many, many, you know, thousands of other mothers have experienced a similar time period of postpartum.
00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.319
So, anyway, how did I get there?
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:11.440
What are we what are we talking about?
00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:12.319
Oh, yeah.
00:19:12.400 --> 00:19:16.559
So, anyway, haven't done Thai massage basically in five years because of that.
00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:30.720
So I was telling a friend of mine here in Paris, like we were just on a walk in the park in Bout Chamont, and I was just telling her some of what my certifications were, and I was like, you know, Reiki, Thai massage, I am a cultural anthropologist.
00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:37.039
She's and then when she heard Thai massage, she perked up, and so I went home and I was I just reflected and mowed over that.
00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:40.000
It's like, oh shit, I haven't done that in ages.
00:19:40.160 --> 00:19:42.640
Like, what might that be like to pick that up again?
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:50.000
Because I used to love it, you know, and so I put the word out on the street, and so my clientele has been slowly building up.
00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.519
I love giving Thai massage, Thai body work.
00:19:54.079 --> 00:20:04.880
The my clients are loving receiving it, and I'm just like adding on little tidbits of just little effects here and there to make it as luxurious as possible.
00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:07.440
Like it's oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.559
If you're not in Paris, please come and schedule a session.
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:20.000
If you are in Paris, like girl, you need to get over here and well, actually, I come to you, I come to your home, I bring everything, it's so it's super luxurious.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:27.440
So I'll be focusing on that and uh a few back-end things to wrap up.
00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:31.519
I'll be focusing on those two seriously hard for the rest of this year.
00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:39.920
I'm also kind of experimenting with content creation again and gonna try some sort of niche experiments.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:41.440
Tell me if you've done this.
00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:49.920
I am thinking of experimenting with dealing with only one subject because I go deep and wide with Soft Sunday.
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:55.920
We go deep into things like figuring out your creative purpose over the course of six months.
00:20:56.079 --> 00:21:08.559
We go deep on boundaries, but boundaries for people who are so used to being the kind one in the room, so used to people pleasing, like getting from zero to boundaries in that particular instance.
00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:13.759
So that takes a lot of detailed and one step at a time kind of work.
00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:32.480
So, anyway, I'm going from this wide and deep net that I've cast in this universe I'm creating with Soft Sunday, and I'm pondering if on threads, just like sticking with one particular part of Soft Sunday of what I offer and just going deep and having fun on that one subject.
00:21:32.559 --> 00:21:33.519
I'm thinking about doing that.
00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:36.559
So that's one thing that I might experiment with coming up.
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:44.480
And I don't know if it should be boundaries or if it should be my Thai body work that I am really focusing on for the rest of the year.
00:21:44.720 --> 00:21:59.519
I'm also, I don't know if you know, I have an offer called Cell Centered, which is a one on one offer to help you when to support you in your nervous system when you are preparing for, in, and right after launch mode if you're launching something.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.480
So I haven't talked about that much in a year.
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:07.519
And so I'm also kind of itching to get back to cell centered.
00:22:07.599 --> 00:22:12.319
So I don't know what the subject matter is gonna be, but yeah, that's the little experiment.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:17.519
So you'll see also some series, some different series unfolding on Instagram.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:19.440
I'm excited about those.
00:22:19.759 --> 00:22:26.799
And I'm experimenting with having two to three series going on at a time over the course of a month or so.
00:22:26.960 --> 00:22:28.160
So we'll see.
00:22:28.559 --> 00:22:29.519
We will see.
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:35.119
And then I'm gonna be doing some posting on LinkedIn as well, which I haven't done in a while.
00:22:35.359 --> 00:22:37.519
So that's what's coming next.
00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:48.640
If you're nosy, if you want to know more, always like seriously, just Soft Sunday Studio on Instagram, send a DM or send an email to hello at softsunday.com.
00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:53.519
And remember the Sunday is like an ice cream Sunday and not the day of the week, okay?
00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:56.880
So we're already here to part four.
00:22:56.960 --> 00:23:00.799
Oh my god, I've been having so much fun yapping away on this podcast.
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:08.079
You know it's Wednesday, okay, and we are over here looking for the dopamine hits between the tasks and the tabs.
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:09.920
And you know what?
00:23:10.079 --> 00:23:19.599
You know what I think will get us through the rest of this week gracefully, and also just to kind of keep my Boku Boundaries course alive.
00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:21.519
Sorry about that.
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:43.599
I got to the point of finally recording everything to put the course on the course platform, and I did not want to enter into full burnout mode over this, even though it would have been awesome to say, oh my gosh, I finally completed this huge goal, which I have had now, guys, for oh three or four years, either 2022 or 2020.
00:23:43.680 -->
00:23:45.119
Oh, it's 2023, I think.
00:23:45.359 --> 00:23:57.359
So three years, almost there, still not there, but that's this is the crux of the work that I'm doing and what I help people with, what help creatives with.
00:23:57.680 --> 00:24:28.559
Do I sacrifice myself, just go ahead and go all the way to burnout mode to put my creative stuff out there, or do I do this in a way that is sustainable so that I don't crash, I don't burn, I don't go away for three years, I can sustain doing the work and take my time and patiently while nurturing myself and making sure that I'm cared for, take my time one step at a time and put my work out into the world.
00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:30.640
So I'm choosing the latter.
00:24:31.039 --> 00:24:34.480
And speaking of experiments, this is like this one big experiment.
00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:38.960
As a creative, do I burn myself out to get something out there?
00:24:39.200 --> 00:24:46.880
Or knowing how big my vision is, do I take my time, take care of myself, and put it out one step at a time?
00:24:47.039 --> 00:24:49.119
So, anyway, there's that.
00:24:49.279 --> 00:25:02.480
So, long story short, all that to say, keeping Boku boundaries alive and getting our little dopamine hit here, this is what I am thinking can get us through the rest of the week.
00:25:02.720 --> 00:25:10.240
Okay, next time a boundary is tested, next time someone you say no and someone's like, Are you sure?
00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:11.039
Because blah da.
00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:17.039
Next time that boundary is tested, I want you to stay in your body.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.640
Stay in your body.
00:25:18.880 --> 00:25:28.880
And I know as I say those words, those four words, stay in your body, you're starting to realize that when a boundary is tested, you likely dissociate.
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:40.720
You likely your brain it cuts out of there, it gets out of the body, your mind gets out of the body, and it goes somewhere else to try to just cope with that situation and just get through it somehow.
00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:47.920
You answer questions you don't want to answer, you give information you don't want to give, you say yes when you want to say no.
00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:51.519
Those responses are supported by that dissociation.
00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:54.640
So that's why I'm saying stay in your body.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:56.720
That's why I'm saying those four words.
00:25:56.880 --> 00:25:59.039
Don't flee, don't dissociate.
00:25:59.279 --> 00:25:59.599
Okay.
00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:07.599
The thought of it right now, even is probably scaring you a bit, like, oh my god, stay in my body, stay there while somebody's just giving me the blues.
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:09.359
No, no, thank you.
00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:15.680
So I know this there might be a huge hesitation there, a huge sense of fear.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:18.400
Like, I don't know if I can stay with my body.
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:19.680
What might that feel like?
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:23.839
It's also something you don't normally practice, you don't have a habit of doing that.
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:30.960
So it's like asking a 30-something-year-old adult who hasn't ever swam in their life, hey, jump in the pool, start swimming.
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.319
It feels like that, right?
00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:36.400
But look, trust in this and trust in yourself.
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:40.160
Stay in your body next time that happens, someone tests your boundary.
00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:46.400
And while you're staying there, you're not staying there just to feel the pain and feel the fear, okay?
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:53.519
I do want you to notice what you're feeling, but also notice where in your body that you're feeling it.
00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:57.359
So fear is likely going to come up, for example.
00:26:57.680 --> 00:26:58.480
Where is it?
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:00.720
Is it like a tingling in your tummy?
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.359
Do your upper arms start to have a weird feeling?
00:27:03.519 --> 00:27:04.960
Do you feel it in your lower back?
00:27:05.039 --> 00:27:08.559
Like, where in your body are you feeling something?
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:11.839
The reaction to this boundary being tested.
00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:16.240
Okay, so I want you to one stay in your boundary, stay in your boundary.
00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:19.680
If your boundary is tested, stay in your body, don't flee.
00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:26.240
Number two, notice what you feel, and number three, notice where you feel it.
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:41.359
Okay, it will feel like an eternity, it will feel like 300 million years have passed, but don't worry about that, do it anyway, because it's really a matter of seconds, and I mean single-digit seconds.
00:27:41.519 --> 00:27:45.680
You don't have to time yourself, just trust in yourself and trust in your body, okay?
00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:48.799
But it's this process is not gonna take any time.
00:27:48.880 --> 00:28:01.279
It's like when you're watching a movie like Back to the Future or something where they travel back in time, it's been days and days in that parallel universe, but in the real time, it's been like barely two minutes that have passed.
00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:02.319
It's like that, okay.
00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:09.519
It feels like you're doing like back to the future, but in reality, literally no time is really passing, okay, as you go through this.
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:25.359
All right, so I want you to do that because when you do that, when you are noticing what you're feeling, where you're feeling it, you're staying with yourself, you're staying in your body, that connection and those feelings tell you what your next best move is.
00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:28.400
Your body is actually the mind.
00:28:28.559 --> 00:28:40.960
Neuroscientists are saying that the mind is really the experience of the full self and the reaction to what this full self is experiencing in the world.
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:46.720
That's how it's gathering information, that's how it's processing information, and then and that's how the mind works.
00:28:46.880 --> 00:28:48.559
The mind is the full body.
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:57.519
So, before you're dissociating, you're cutting yourself off from all of your wisdom, your intellect, your uh your mind.
00:28:58.079 --> 00:29:01.119
Okay, the mind is the body, and I'm not making this up.
00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:01.839
Google it.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:07.039
This is something neuroscientists are saying, Okay, from tons of research.
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:33.680
Okay, and so having that access to your body, to your full body, to your full mind, will allow you so much more of a possibility of taking the right step for you, the right fit step for where you are in life, as opposed to acting out of habit and just saying yes, even though you don't want to, or giving you, yeah, you know, I made$75 an hour.
00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:35.920
You don't even want to share your financial information.
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:37.599
So those are habits, right?
00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:44.079
And so, what we're gonna do is stay with the body and listen to it and act from there to form a new habit.
00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:55.519
Okay, this is gonna work wonders in freeing up your energy and feeling aligned and feeling like you did the right thing instead of replaying something in your mind over and over again.
00:29:55.759 --> 00:30:03.119
This is something that will really gracefully get you through the rest of your week, but also like gracefully get you through the rest of your life.
00:30:03.279 --> 00:30:07.039
Tuck this one in your pocket because this is some real stuff, real juicy stuff.
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:20.720
Okay, so I will post the link to that article about sleep in the show notes, uh, link to system reboot, my IRL body work session here in Paris, just in case you might be interested in that.
00:30:20.960 --> 00:30:28.079
And I will meet you the next time we're surfing for dopamine between the tabs, aka next Wednesday.
00:30:28.400 --> 00:30:29.039
Bye.