Fuld transskription af Finding Your Way With Emma MacNeill

00:02:43.280 I've been a longtime follower of you on the gram and following your journey and your your beautiful sharing of art and culture and wisdom for such a long time. 00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:47.840 So this is, as I said before, a bit of a fangirl moment for me personally. 00:02:48.080 --> 00:02:50.400 So thank you so much for being here. 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:56.080 No, thank you very much for having me appreciate having a yarn today and getting to know each other. 00:02:56.319 --> 00:02:58.159 Yeah, no, I'm I'm very excited. 00:02:58.319 --> 00:02:58.800 I love it. 00:02:58.879 --> 00:03:14.400 So Emma, the the premise of the Your World Potential podcast is talking about all that stuff that is in your beautiful bio around connection and sharing story and getting to know each other and building community around you in different ways and inspiring others. 00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:18.960 And I think, you know, your bio really articulates that all from the get-go. 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:27.680 I'm wondering if you can talk to us a little bit more about some of that and and and what your wild potential might mean to you and who you are as a person. 00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:29.039 Absolutely. 00:03:29.199 --> 00:03:41.599 Um I feel like we we live in a world where things are evolving and changing and becoming more harsher, and you know, we lose our empathy and our compassion because we were just trying to get ahead. 00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:51.599 And, you know, I what I like to see is, you know, more people talking and more people opening up and being vulnerable without feeling bad for doing so, you know. 00:03:51.840 --> 00:04:00.479 Everyone's everyone's going through so much in life at the moment, and that's why I like to share um my mindset and try and push out positivity. 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:15.280 I think there was a a moment there in the last two years where I've been posting like a little meme in the morning telling someone, you know, like, have a good day, go get a coffee, make someone's day better, or make sure you smile, or it's okay to not be okay type stuff. 00:04:15.439 --> 00:04:32.000 And so when I had the opportunity to come on here with you, I just thought, this is so up my alley because, you know, like sisterhood, um, the way we connect with the people around us, the way we look after those without expecting much in return is vital, you know. 00:04:32.079 --> 00:04:46.079 There's there's there's so much crap going on around the world to uh to the point and in our personal lives, to the point where it's it's free to be kind and it's free to share love, and we are also capable of doing it. 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:57.759 And that's that's how I live my life by that, you know, by by sharing support and and understanding or a lending ear or shoulder to crime because you know we all need that. 00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:00.160 So I I love that. 00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:19.600 Yeah, words of wisdom, I think they're absolutely like it is so easy for us to get caught up in what is happening for ourselves, but as you said, to also then feel I don't know, this guilt or shame or or something to not share that or or to yeah, I don't know, it might not even be to ask for help. 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:24.319 It might just to be to talk about it to someone and we we then hold that. 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:33.439 Um because we we I think we do often think, oh that person's worse off, or there's so much other things going on in the world, and so it just builds up within us then. 00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:34.399 Well, that's it. 00:05:34.560 --> 00:05:54.240 We can't help comparing ourselves and you know, wondering if it's too much or too less, and um, you know, in our communities as well, there's a there's a huge shame factor where people um don't talk about things, or you know, even going to the doctors is uh a shameful thing because you don't know that person. 00:05:54.319 --> 00:06:05.920 There's a huge respect element around being vulnerable, and most of the time we've got our people that we share those sort of things with, but even just genuinely getting help from medical help and things like that. 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:10.879 Having to ask a stranger for support and help is kind of a taboo, you know. 00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:12.560 We kind of tuck those things away. 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:26.800 So we've we end up raising generations of kids who are growing up really fast and having to look after themselves really quickly because they're they're afraid to be vulnerable or they're afraid to share or ask for help type stuff. 00:06:26.959 --> 00:06:32.399 So that's why, yeah, I like to I like to talk and I've had the luxury of walking in both worlds. 00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:37.920 My dad's Scottish, born in Edinburgh, um, and mum's from actual like the desert. 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:51.519 So she's from Mikathara, and it's a small gold rush mining town, and all throughout the communities around there, we've got Punmu, Banwood, Kunawariji, they're all small communities um where my family all originate from. 00:06:52.000 --> 00:07:00.240 And so yeah, I I I love that I've had the luxury of walking in both worlds and I can have the ability to speak about things and speak my mind. 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:14.160 Without I I'm one of those people that don't often go against the grain, but I'll share what I think is um helpful to others, but also can can influence someone's day or influence their life, you know. 00:07:14.399 --> 00:07:25.120 Life gets heavy and life gets full on, and people need to know that it's okay to be in a really shitty position and you're going to figure out a way to get through it. 00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:26.879 That's we're resilient, you know? 00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:27.519 Definitely. 00:07:27.680 --> 00:07:48.720 And I'm wondering in terms of what you're talking about there, Emma, and what we've already discussed in terms of your bio, how I don't know whether from a a cultural

perspective, how you bring in I don't know if know if that's the right word, but that vulnerability, how do you create safety for community or people around you to be vulnerable, I guess? 00:07:49.040 --> 00:07:58.480 I think um, like first I kind of noticed uh that I was able to bring that safety around was when I started playing football. 00:07:58.800 --> 00:08:04.000 We had a we had a lot of young indigenous girls, not not too many per team, like now we do. 00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:10.000 The that there's a very multi-cultured aspect alongs, um, and when I say footy, sorry, it's AFL like AF all the rules. 00:08:10.319 --> 00:08:11.120 Gotta get that right. 00:08:11.920 --> 00:08:12.639 Queensland. 00:08:12.879 --> 00:08:21.920 Um but yeah, so I I grew up with footy in my blood, you know, my brother played, my dad played, and um my ex-partner played. 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.879 Uh, it's just it's it's something that comes so naturally. 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:35.840 And then when I started going into the footy world, you know, I noticed there was a real like we were all there because we loved the game and we loved to play, but I noticed that yeah, we liked each other. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:41.200 We all loved each other and loved different things about each other, but there was no real sisterhood, you know? 00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:45.200 It's it's kind of an unspeakable bond that that sits there between us. 00:08:45.600 --> 00:08:58.320 I I really wanted to bring that a bit more to the surface, like make people realize that yeah, we love the game, but it there's so much more to the game that we can actually be a part of. 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:03.840 Like it's not all about it's nice to get the win, don't get me wrong, it's nice to walk away with a premiership. 00:09:04.000 --> 00:09:12.480 But at the end of the day, there's so much more um power behind the jersey that you put on your back and the club and the that what it stands for. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:16.960 And then the woman beside you, you know, you you don't know what she's going through. 00:09:17.039 --> 00:09:19.279 You don't you don't know what, you know. 00:09:19.759 --> 00:09:27.440 So I think that's what I was able to bring forward for our young Aboriginal girls that were, you know, playing alongside me. 00:09:27.519 --> 00:09:49.679 I I wanted to be able to just create a little safe space, just a little little so not just for our Aboriginal girls, I did it for everybody where it's okay to talk and it's okay to be really, really vulnerable if you need to be, because this is our home and these are our sisters, and we see each other three times, four times a week, and it's okay to off slow. 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:55.759 Like, you know, some people can handle listening to other people's problems and some people can't, and that's totally okay too. 00:09:56.000 --> 00:10:01.279 So that's where I would see these young girls and I'd go, you know, how hey Bob, how how you going? 00:10:01.440 --> 00:10:02.240 Like, what's been happening? 00:10:02.320 --> 00:10:03.200 What did you do today? 00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:06.480 You know, just checking in just shows that little bit of care. 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:10.320 And in in the end, we played better, you know. 00:10:10.399 --> 00:10:24.080 We we celebrated the little lot uh wins and you know, we picked each other up during the big losses because we had built a sisterhood that was so in-depth and so powerful that you know for me that was so rewarding. 00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:36.000 Like I just I just being Emma because I'm I was a mum of you know two kids at the time, and you know, the motherhood, the mummy side of me came out and I was able to just be a big support system for the girls. 00:10:36.159 --> 00:10:37.840 And in return, they inspired me too. 00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:42.720 Don't get me wrong, they they were supportive for me as well, and it it just came back full circle. 00:10:42.799 --> 00:10:57.679 So it's sort of as you're talking, like I was thinking about how a lot of our interactions in life are at that sort of surface level, like we have these relationships, connections, acquaintances, whatever you want to call them, that are really surface level. 00:10:57.759 --> 00:11:04.559 And you know, there might always I think they're all we always will have those relationships that don't have to be as in depth. 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:09.039 But you really are talking about a proper connection and and connecting in a different way. 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:22.480 And I like how you said there that for me, sometimes creating that safety is just asking someone, and I think we sometimes overthink it to be like, Oh, am I the right person or that's not my business or whatnot. 00:11:22.639 --> 00:11:25.120 But you literally just said, Hey Bob, how you doing? 00:11:25.360 --> 00:11:34.639 And if they want to talk, they want to talk, and if they don't, they're not going to, like, but they know that that's there, you've you've I guess given them that opportunity. 00:11:34.960 --> 00:12:10.000 Yes, and that's that's where the familiarity comes in, and same culturally too, you know, we we tend to open up or share or create that powerful bond when we become familiar with somebody, and it's like I've got friends who have gone to communities up in the Kimberleys and NT and stuff, and they've done they've become teachers there and they've gotten to know the kids, they build such a powerful bond that when the time comes to leave and move on to the next chapter, kids are heartbroken because it's that's our auntie or that's our mum that's kind of played such a massive role, and it's hard not to get attached. 00:12:10.159 --> 00:12:25.840 But because you've been there every day and you've grabbed these kids since 7 a.m., you got them to Breakfast Club, you know, you walked them off to school, and you built such a beautiful rapport to the point where you've earned the respect of that child to

to where you're a safe space for them. 00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:31.200 That's that's how that's how people are able to be vulnerable and open up is the familiarity. 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:42.480 And I that's what I knew when it came to the pudding club that I had to bring that to the surface again and make sure that the girls knew that okay, with me, you're gonna get the same thing every time. 00:12:42.639 --> 00:12:44.480 You're going to get the same cycle. 00:12:44.799 --> 00:12:46.720 I'm gonna always ask how you're going. 00:12:46.879 --> 00:12:55.519 I'm gonna always have a little deal with you, and I'm always gonna yarn about nothing in particular, but also leave that door open for you to have yarn too. 00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.720 So beautiful, powerful, very powerful. 00:12:58.960 --> 00:13:09.360 So, Emma, tell us how does a young woman growing up in rural remote WA land in Brisbane. 00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:11.360 What's that journey look like? 00:13:11.840 --> 00:13:14.720 Oh, it's it's been one hell of a journey. 00:13:16.159 --> 00:13:21.039 You know, like I'm I'm 37 now and I was like, holy heck, I'm really getting close to 40. 00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:29.840 And but I'm really, really like content at the moment with life and I'm really, really happy where I'm at and where I've settled. 00:13:30.080 --> 00:13:36.240 But again, like I born and raised in Pananara, you know, I never realized how lucky we were growing up. 00:13:36.879 --> 00:13:37.759 It's funny, isn't it? 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:38.480 Yeah, exactly. 00:13:38.639 --> 00:13:42.879 It wasn't until I took my children back and I was like, yeah, and we didn't we didn't have a care in the world. 00:13:42.960 --> 00:13:49.039 We're jumping in like small canals and and waterways that have freshwater crocodiles, but it's a freshy, it's okay. 00:13:49.120 --> 00:13:51.360 Like the housies are the ones you gotta worry about. 00:13:51.600 --> 00:14:00.240 You know, we walked in the shops with no shoes and you know, we yeah, go buy the 50 cents worth of lollies, and both my parents were teachers. 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:03.919 My actual like my mum and dad separated when I was four. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:10.799 Um, and my mum moved back down to sort of uh the goldfields area, Calgary Way, more town called Linora. 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:19.759 And there was a really big gap, unfortunately, where I didn't really see my mum very much, but I was I stayed with my dad, but also whilst visiting. 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:26.559 In the beginning, I went with my mum, and my nana was like, Look, these kids need their education, you're going through so much at the moment. 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:28.080 Send them back to their dads. 00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:36.879 And so we were raised by my dad, my brother and I, um, who's my dad's half-son, but very much dad's dad's baby boy, you know. 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:45.519 And we we were these two dark-colored kids with a white dad, and you know, we were we were school teachers' kids. 00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:56.720 Dad was a music teacher, and you know, he was lucky that he had a really good support system with the staff members that he worked with, who became like family to us, and so we always we've always lived away from family. 00:14:57.039 --> 00:15:03.840 So that's kind of been something I'm used to over the years that plays a role down the track. 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:22.320 And Dad met my stepmum Jen, and you know, they they got married and we kind of fell into like a normal sort of we got a new house and yeah, we ended up getting a um a mango farm, like a a small five-acre four step mum's like that like highly allergic to mangoes. 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:23.679 Yeah. 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:27.840 But we we were living our best life to you know, eating the trees. 00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:36.320 But don't get me wrong, I'm I'm a I'm a school teacher's daughter, so if I'm mucked up at school, you know, that straight out to the trees, you'd have to go prune and paint. 00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:37.360 You heard about it. 00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:38.639 Yeah, yeah, you knew. 00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:46.320 Um so there was a good side and the bad side to it, but yeah, like I never realized how lucky I was growing up in the Kimberlees. 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:52.559 And then when I finished school, I went to I ended up moving to Broome because I I started working in the airline industry. 00:15:52.720 --> 00:16:02.480 I worked as a contractor through like Qantas and Virgin Air North, which is a rural company there in Catanara, and started off um, you know, loading baggage and stuff like that. 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:06.799 But I I I was a kid that wanted to be a truck driver, a mechanic, you know. 00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:10.639 I obviously was really I was really good at sports. 00:16:10.879 --> 00:16:26.240 And then when it came into work and the work industry, I was really good because I actually went to boarding school and every time school holidays came up, I'd quickly rush back home, book in my shifts, and I'd work at the local shop and save my money up and make that last through the term. 00:16:26.480 --> 00:16:38.960 And I think my like my parents were strict, but I I look at it now and I'm really glad that they were because today, like, you know, as soon as I left home and stuff like that, I was able to look after myself as independent. 00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:41.840 But typical kids, you know, we're so hard done by, you know. 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:42.960 Oh, of course, absolutely. 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:44.320 We all right as well. 00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:58.879 But yeah, so like I I think looking back on it now, like I I feel like that all set me up for the future and you know, I was extremely independent, got myself a car and I worked hard and you know, got a little rental and things like that. 00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:03.039 And I ended up moving to Broome where they've got a bigger terminal.

00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:06.160 So when you live in kind of broom's like the city, you know? 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:06.960 Yeah, yeah. 00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:07.359 Yeah. 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:09.920 So it's like, oh, I'm stepping up in the world. 00:17:10.160 --> 00:17:13.359 And um, yeah, I lived in Broome for four years, I think. 00:17:13.440 --> 00:17:22.960 And I worked at the airport there, and you know, the aircraft was significantly larger than what I was used to, but I worked in the front desk sort of area, which was nice. 00:17:23.119 --> 00:17:28.000 We got to wear the nice, like I don't know if you remember them, the quantistes with the indigenous oh yes. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:35.200 Oh, they were so beautiful to feel so yeah, you know, it was it was quite nice to get dressed up for work and hold yourself, you know. 00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:39.839 I had a bit of pride in my uniform, the way I spoke, the way I looked, and I loved it. 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:40.640 I loved it. 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:47.519 It it taught me how to deal with disgruntled passengers, how to problem solve, how to talk to people, and that was the best part of it. 00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:49.759 And I really loved that that area of my life. 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:54.400 And I actually moved to Broome to do a um, I wouldn't call it a beauty pageant. 00:17:54.480 --> 00:17:56.160 It's it's a thing called Kimberly Girls. 00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:09.039 So it's like an empowerment movement for young girls to showcase who they are and what they can, you know, walk on the runway, learn how to work as a team and stuff like that, learn how to work your choreography and things like that. 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:20.319 But it's also yeah, an empowerment movement where we really stepped away from the shame factor and moved into the it's okay to be you and show who you are type thing. 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:23.839 So I ended up winning that contest in seven, yeah. 00:18:24.079 --> 00:18:25.359 I thought, oh my gosh. 00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:29.920 And the beauty standards then like were so beautiful, you know. 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:34.400 I had no like those tiny skinny eyebrows. 00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:43.759 We didn't care, like we just it was good, like there was no sort of um like restraint or like feel to be like anyone else. 00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:44.799 Authentic, yeah. 00:18:44.960 --> 00:18:46.000 Yeah, that's it, that's it. 00:18:46.079 --> 00:19:06.000 We were authentically and unapologetically us, and we all came in different shades and different sizes, and you know, we didn't care, we just ended up building a sisterhood and and building friends for life, where you know, we we did this whole two-week, three-week sort of thing where we um all slept and lived around each other during that period. 00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:11.839 We learned our choreography, we tried on learned how to do our makeup and our hair and things like that. 00:19:12.079 --> 00:19:30.400 And I grew up

at a time where you wore the the long jorts down to your knees and the cargo chance like you know, nobody wore bikinis or like oh my god, if you wore a bikini at the pool, you were like, oh but you know, we we were so we didn't care about that sort of stuff. 00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:31.279 Yeah, yeah. 00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:34.160 So I love the fact that I got to live that life. 00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:43.039 I'm an 89 baby, so I got most of the 90s and 2000s, and you know, the Kimberly Girl movement is still going today. 00:19:43.119 --> 00:19:48.000 And in fact, they've got you know, the Peelbrook girl and the Goldfield girls, it's uh it's a Oh how amazing. 00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:49.599 Yeah, so it's expanded. 00:19:49.759 --> 00:20:06.720 Yeah, uh it's it's really helped empower and shape young girls to realize that it's okay to dream, it's okay to think outside the box, it's okay to move away and stare to do something different, and it really uh helped people and realize how beautiful they are, you know? 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:15.599 Because we there's again that shame factor, you know, you don't want to stand out too much or be too different because oh yeah, she thinks she's better than everyone else. 00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:27.680 No, it was more like making the girls realize that they're beautiful just the way they are, and it's okay to start start looking at the horizon, doing bigger things and dream bigger, you know? 00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:38.000 And I'm seeing the correlation from from that to you talking about in the footy team as well, where you're bringing sounds like you're bringing others along with you as well. 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:42.640 It's not this competition in terms of as you said, I'm better than you, but we're doing it together. 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:48.559 Like, yes, like this was still a quote unquote winner at the end, but you were doing it together. 00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:50.000 Exactly right. 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:50.799 Exactly right. 00:20:50.880 --> 00:21:03.279 So it's followed me the whole way through, and I think when the time came and I left broom, and by that stage, like, you know, I was earning 90k a year, and I'd I loved my job that I was doing. 00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:07.200 And um, I'd instead of doing just checkout, I started doing load controls. 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:12.799 So I'd talk to the pilots, make them make sure they got the right fuel, I'd work out the balance of the aircraft and stuff. 00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:13.680 Loved it. 00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:23.119 And I'd be doing I'd be doing like three, four aircrafts at one time, so it was just working under pressure, and you know, I've I've worked since I was like 13. 00:21:23.359 --> 00:21:24.400 So yeah. 00:21:24.640 --> 00:21:33.119 And this is where I move into Melbourne, and my brother, who was playing for the Hawthorne Hawks at the time, he had just had his baby boy. 00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:38.000 He had a beautiful stepson, Kanoa, and had just

had my little nephew, Lavelle. 00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:39.839 And I was just in awe. 00:21:39.920 --> 00:21:41.519 I was like, okay, I'm Auntie's here. 00:21:42.640 --> 00:21:43.359 She's arrived. 00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:43.759 Yeah. 00:21:44.079 --> 00:21:44.720 Exactly. 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:50.880 But what I found was so hard was I'd worked six years in the airline industry and I couldn't get a job in Melbourne. 00:21:50.960 --> 00:21:55.039 Like I couldn't get a job anywhere because I didn't have that city experience. 00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:59.759 And you know, I'd caught a I had an Australian past, for goodness sake, and I was able to. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.000 To work in other airports, but I just couldn't get a job for the life of me. 00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:10.720 And I think that was the first time I went on Centerlink because I just couldn't find a job anywhere. 00:22:10.799 --> 00:22:15.440 But also I was I was too proud to go pick up a job at Woolies or something like that. 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:17.039 Because I was like, no, I've done that. 00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:18.720 I've worked too hard. 00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:22.720 I can I can get something I I set the standard really high. 00:22:22.880 --> 00:22:23.039 Yeah. 00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:32.880 And that was but I was again, I was really disappointed in myself that I'd gone on the dole at that time because I was like, I I've been where I know how to work. 00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.319 I've got a good work at this. 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:36.240 I've done all these little jobs. 00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:37.599 I I can do better. 00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:46.240 And so I couldn't get a job in the airline industry, but I actually got a job at Visi Park, which is like a traineeship through AFL. 00:22:46.319 --> 00:22:49.920 You gotta remember for me, I'm I'm born and bred AFL, all through my family. 00:22:50.000 --> 00:22:58.640 Like me and maybe I'll use the box on every Friday night as to who got I would rather watch Burke's backyard than put on the local footy game because I was just so over it. 00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:04.799 But Carl, Carl lived and breathed football, like he was meant to be an absolute AFL gun. 00:23:05.119 --> 00:23:11.680 And um, yeah, I ended up I ended up dating a footie player and I was with him for 14 years, 15 years. 00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:26.319 And um, so that's where like my life then pushed into living in Melbourne, and then I became uh I don't I don't really use the word the term wag, but I became a partner to a player, and life was totally different. 00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:31.920 Like I never never experienced that, but I did get a job, I ended up working at Crown Casino in Melbourne. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:38.160 I started off in the call center, and they were like, You're not a behind the scenes person, you need to be more front of house. 00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:40.319 And I was like, Okay, like let's go. 00:23:41.599 --> 00:23:43.200 I've been saying that for a long time. 00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:46.240 And um, you know, I loved Melbourne. 00:23:46.319 --> 00:23:53.279 Like I remember we used to wear heeled boots and big coats, and I was like, I'd never wear anything like this in the world. 00:23:53.759 --> 00:23:55.839 Yeah, it helps stark difference. 00:23:56.240 --> 00:24:01.440 Yeah, so um I fell in love with that side of Melbourne, and I'm really glad I did it. 00:24:01.519 --> 00:24:20.240 I was 21 at the time, 22 maybe, and I'm really glad I got to experience Melbourne at that that age because you know I got all my partying out of the way and I got all my experiences and learning about like city life and the the the quality, like the variety of people that I met over the years. 00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.960 I was like, Melbourne's a place, man. 00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:26.480 You can be whoever the hell you want to be, you know? 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:27.759 Yeah, you can. 00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:31.359 And I loved, I really, really loved that about Melbourne. 00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:34.640 You know, people were really unapologetically themselves. 00:24:34.799 --> 00:24:35.039 Yeah. 00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:36.799 Um, and I'd never seen that. 00:24:36.880 --> 00:24:41.440 Like, yeah, you know, very rarely in the Kimberleys would you see a lesbian. 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:42.160 Yeah. 00:24:42.720 --> 00:24:48.880 But then, you know, I went to Melbourne and people were so proud and out, and I was like, yeah, fuck that. 00:24:51.680 --> 00:24:52.640 Yeah, definitely. 00:24:52.799 --> 00:24:58.880 I used to say something similar in terms of my experiences with Melbourne, and I sort of grew up in and out of Melbourne. 00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:04.000 Not grew up in Melbourne, but my dad lived in Melbourne, and then I went to uni in Melbourne, and I felt the same. 00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:09.519 I was like, there is something for everybody in Melbourne, if you can find it or if you're willing to look for it. 00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:12.000 There is something for everybody in Melbourne. 00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:20.400 And I agree, you could be anyone that you want to be, and still, if you're able to find look, willing to look for it, you will find your people as well. 00:25:20.960 --> 00:25:22.000 Exactly right. 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:28.559 And and and don't get me wrong, Melbourne can be a really lonely place if you don't if you don't branch out. 00:25:28.640 --> 00:25:35.759 And that's where we need to dare ourselves to do it, you know, dare ourselves to put ourselves out there and stuff like that. 00:25:36.079 --> 00:25:36.480 100%. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:52.160 And I was just really lucky that I um I I had my work colleagues, you know, and also I'd since dating my ex-fiance, I'd kind of moved into the footy world too, which was I was like a fish out of water. 00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:54.000 Another different world, yeah. 00:25:54.240 --> 00:26:04.559 No, I was the type of person, if I went went to the footy,

I'd have jeans on, a baggy shirt and a coat, and I'd have a a Jim Bean with me and the sideline and I'd be living my best life. 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:12.799 But then I realized you'd have to go to the footy, and all the girls had their hair curled and all that on, and I was like, God, I need a new outfit, you know. 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:15.759 But again, remaining authentic to who you are, right? 00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:17.119 And the importance of that. 00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:37.039 And and I think, sorry to cut you off, but like that, I think we go through stages in life where we we do start to feel that pressure seep in again to be someone else or to act in a different way or to fit in what we think we need to fit in to a certain crowd or or population or whatever it might be. 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:38.319 Well, that's exactly right. 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:45.279 And when I there's we were at Carlton at the time and there was that pressure to, oh, I need I need to look presentable, you know. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.839 Oh my god, like what you know, am I am I fitting in? 00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:52.720 And then by the time we came to Brisbane, I was like, I don't care. 00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:53.599 I won't be there. 00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:58.640 You know, the girls had their champagne and I'd be there with a gym beam like, eh, I was tagged. 00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:02.720 But um, I think, yeah, I that's when I became a mum as well. 00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:10.000 Like when I was in Melbourne, I was 25 and I had my big boy chance because we'd actually lost four babies prior to that. 00:27:10.240 --> 00:27:19.279 I think I think my body just knew that it wasn't the right time, and and life in Melbourne can be really fast-paced. 00:27:19.599 --> 00:27:24.559 And I found like I was fitting in, but it was never quite home. 00:27:24.799 --> 00:27:25.200 Sure. 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:36.160 And so yeah, I and and I was always having issues with their dad, and and I was just like I I was always one foot out the door, but also like unsure of if I belonged. 00:27:36.799 --> 00:27:43.279 And yeah, in the end, I got my own little apartment so that you know, if anything went down with their dad, I could just go back to my place. 00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:51.759 I still have my job, love my job, and you know, we we did this coexisting lifestyle for a while until our boy chance came along. 00:27:51.920 --> 00:27:53.440 And that was the best year, you know. 00:27:53.519 --> 00:28:03.200 The fact that, oh my god, I've reached past the third month and my you know, my period hasn't arrived, or you know, like I don't have to go to the hospital and we were in shock because we're like this one stuck. 00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:14.559 So we called our boy Chance because he was a chance at a new life, and yeah, I was this tiny little size eight, boomed out to 14, had this humongous 9.8 pound baby. 00:28:15.599 --> 00:28:16.079 Yeah. 00:28:16.319 --> 00:28:20.000 Never never had

booms in my life, and then I was like, Oh my god, what's happening? 00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.200 What do I do with these? 00:28:21.599 --> 00:28:22.400 What do I do? 00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:41.279 And motherhood just came naturally, you know, and I loved it because you know I had a lot of issues with my stepmom growing up, and that was because I just refused to accept her because my mum had gone, and in my mindset, Mum was coming back, don't get comfortable with mum's coming back. 00:28:41.440 --> 00:29:01.519 Yeah, and even though it could never happen, I still battled that abandonment, and still still to this day it seeps in here and there, but I battled being abandoned and I went to an all-girls boarding school and I'd watch my friends have these beautiful relationships with their mums and get their ball dresses and stuff, and I didn't have that, you know. 00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:07.039 I didn't have someone to tell I had my period to because I refused to let my stepmum in. 00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:13.839 And you know, when we went back to mums, bless her, she was battling her own demons, you know, at the time. 00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:27.680 So, you know, there's a lot of drugs and alcohol in the rural community, smaller towns as well, one main street, and there's a lot of drugs and alcohol, and you know, you grow up seeing the violence, you grow up seeing the traumatic stuff that becomes normalized. 00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:28.960 Yes, yeah. 00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:37.599 And yeah, so for me, I did I didn't have that mummy person to wrap me up and say everything's gonna be okay or make me feel like a little girl. 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:42.640 And so when the time came to being a mum, I was like, this is it, I'm ready to go. 00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:47.200 This is my baby is going to get the mum that I always needed. 00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:47.680 Yeah. 00:29:48.799 --> 00:29:59.599 And that's all, you know, really when you experience trauma and you know, stuff in your life that you know sits with you forever, you can either go one way or the other. 00:29:59.839 --> 00:30:03.759 And, you know, for me, I was like, no, I'm not gonna repeat the cycle. 00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:06.720 I'm not going to down that same path. 00:30:06.799 --> 00:30:09.200 I'm gonna be the mum that I I needed. 00:30:09.359 --> 00:30:20.480 I'm going to be understanding and soft, but I still had all the core things my parents had taught me along the way, you know, how to the consequences for your actions and how to do this and do that. 00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:25.920 So when chance came along, holy heck, that was the best year of my life, you know, 2014. 00:30:26.160 --> 00:30:26.240 Yeah. 00:30:27.119 --> 00:30:31.839 Just swarmed into motherhood, and yeah, that's where a lot of my artwork comes in. 00:30:32.079 --> 00:30:33.039 Yeah, yeah, right. 00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:33.359 Yeah. 00:30:33.440 --> 00:30:40.720 So I just before we move on to that, I was just sort of thinking about,

you know, that fierce independence that you you continue to talk about. 00:30:40.799 --> 00:31:01.839 And and obviously that that fierce independence, you're talking about that relationship with your stepmom and mum, but that fierce independence of a probably also like survival mode as well, for lack of a better term, in terms of that you you felt that you had to do that to look after yourself because you're saying you didn't feel like you had that connection, and so you became that for yourself. 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:03.039 Absolutely. 00:31:03.200 --> 00:31:07.039 It's kind of scary how long I've been living in survival mode. 00:31:07.200 --> 00:31:09.599 I would say well over 20 years at least. 00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:10.079 Yeah. 00:31:10.240 --> 00:31:20.240 And it's at the point where it's altered my state now as as I'm heading, you know, into my high 30s, and I'm just like, I just want to be left alone from the world. 00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:27.759 That's why my business, I'm like, oh, it's getting big, like it's getting bigger, and I'm getting nervous because I'm like, I don't want to let anyone down. 00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:40.160 But I've gotten to the point where my peace and my little home is my sanctuary and my safe space, and I yeah, I find myself trying to get away from the world because I've been in it for so long. 00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:46.559 But the survival mode, you know, it it it continued on after having my children, you know. 00:31:46.640 --> 00:31:51.519 I had a partner that was I became his mum, you know, I became his mum. 00:31:51.599 --> 00:32:00.319 I kind of carried the load, and yeah, it was really nice living a lifestyle where I didn't have to worry that my card would decline at the shops and things like that. 00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:07.599 But all the stuff that comes with footy world, and uh you see it in the news at the moment, there's all sorts of stuff going on. 00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:11.680 It's an ugly world to put it in a in a plain way. 00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:16.240 Like, it's um I've seen it all, let's just say that. 00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:24.079 And I think I think that um when you're in it, it all those things become so normalized. 00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:35.279 Yes, yeah, it's nothing new, but I think when I separated from their dad and I moved away from the hoodie world, I life became a lot more richer in a way. 00:32:36.000 --> 00:32:40.960 The little things started to make a lot more sense and and matter a lot more. 00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:42.880 I stopped wanting more. 00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:51.519 I started being really content with what I had, forever grateful of the life that I've lived with the kids and having that comfort. 00:32:51.759 --> 00:32:52.319 Of course. 00:32:52.559 --> 00:33:04.319 But I also missed out on a lot of the really important parts of what a relationship should hold, some of those core values, you know, like the the the love, the vulnerability, the um the safety net. 00:33:04.640 --> 00:33:08.160 Like because I just winded up just looking after everybody, you know? 00:33:08.400 --> 00:33:09.200 Yeah, yeah. 00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:34.319 It's it's interesting that you mentioned those core values because I just wrote values down because I I think and that that's also about what your wild potential is, is that and I think this is taking a couple of steps back, is that sometimes we have these perceived or real societal expectations and we get so sucked into it, and we think on paper life looks really good. 00:33:34.480 --> 00:33:42.960 Um on paper life should be really good, but sometimes there's still that thing inside us that doesn't feel right, and our our body, our body knows if we listen. 00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:44.000 Absolutely. 00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:50.240 And and then it gets to that point of you're you're so far in it, and how do you change that? 00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.240 And how do you then know what it is that you do want, and how do we relearn that? 00:33:54.319 --> 00:34:03.200 And and then sometimes making a really brave decision to make change that is really hard to do sometimes. 00:34:03.519 --> 00:34:17.599 And though all those things that you just said actually played an an effect in my life, you know, like because I did, I got so stuck in this lifestyle and this survival mode and this way routine of life. 00:34:17.840 --> 00:34:27.760 Like I said, I I used to work in radio and I loved it when I was a mum, and I was like, there there was no room for Emma and what Emma needed. 00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:28.000 Yeah. 00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:37.920 Because at the end of the day, Emma was at the bottom of the list, and that's why why a football club was so important to me because when I went to the putty club, I was Emma. 00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:38.960 You were Emma. 00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:48.400 I was Emma, and I could I I wasn't his fiance, I wasn't the putty wag, I wasn't, you know, just chance Charlie Marley's mum. 00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:53.360 I was just Emma and I could be completely and utterly myself. 00:34:53.440 --> 00:35:06.639 And I'm I'm I'm a bit of an idiot, like I'm real goofy, you are so I'll talk about my partner later, but you know, I'm really goofy and you know, I like to talk funny with my kids and make up little words and stuff like that. 00:35:06.800 --> 00:35:09.440 And I'm quite a playful, jovial person. 00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:15.519 But um, you know, I found at the footy club that's where kind of that was my me time. 00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:21.440 Yeah, you were had that safety for yourself to to come back to you as well. 00:35:21.679 --> 00:35:49.599 Whereas I was pulling my mean time in my life through the middle of the night because you know, everyone would be asleep and I would get to do my s my me time, my quiet time, you know, whether it be that's where my art comes in because that was for me and I was uninterrupted, and even though I was somebody who could survive on

four hours' sleep, I was still pouring from my cup trying to find little moments of peace. 00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:52.639 And you know, I love being a mum, love being around my kids. 00:35:52.719 --> 00:35:54.960 Like when I'm away from them, I'm like, what are they doing? 00:35:55.119 --> 00:35:56.800 You know, people love me. 00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:07.119 So yeah, I I genuinely, genuinely love being around my children and love watching their little things that they do the through the day. 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:12.079 And I ended up when I was with my ex, I ended up taking on first years as well. 00:36:12.239 --> 00:36:22.559 So we were at the Brisbane Lions at this stage, and whenever a new first year would come through, and uh we would take on mainly the Aboriginal boys because you know we're a cultural household. 00:36:22.800 --> 00:36:32.639 Well, I did my best to bring the culture side of the things, but again, you know, there's that shame factor, the boys would come in and they wouldn't go to the fridge or they'd be really shy and they'd hide in their room. 00:36:32.719 --> 00:36:37.039 I had one boy who walked around for with headphones in for like at least two weeks, yeah. 00:36:37.199 --> 00:36:38.960 Just because of the shame factor. 00:36:39.199 --> 00:36:42.719 And then, yeah, so I I think I had five first years. 00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:51.599 So then not only raising two kids and then my ex being my third child, and then my first years being my fourth children. 00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:52.480 Yeah. 00:36:52.719 --> 00:37:01.119 And you know, I in the end I was just pulling from my cart constantly and just finding little ways to try and pour back into it. 00:37:01.360 --> 00:37:06.639 And it was it's really stuck with me that way of life to the point where I thought it was normal. 00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:08.639 You know, that's normal. 00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:11.519 Isn't it interesting in terms of finding that balance? 00:37:11.679 --> 00:37:29.199 Because Emma, like you're clearly a giving person and want the best for those around you, and and how you find that balance of how do you also give that to you as well, but still be the kind, caring, compassionate person that will be there, show up for friends, mob, culture, or community, all of that. 00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:40.000 But but knowing how to to fill your cup up maybe first before you can do that, maybe absolutely, yeah, and and that was the the learning part of it all. 00:37:40.159 --> 00:37:45.920 Like, you know, like I like I said, I I wanted to stay in the radio scene, I loved it. 00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:56.400 And then, you know, all of a sudden it was a problem that he had to come home and the you know the dinner wasn't made and the house wasn't clean, or he's rushing from a full day of training and he had to pick up the kids. 00:37:56.639 --> 00:38:01.119 And I was just like, Where where do I get to have me stuff? 00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:03.840 You know, like is that is that on

the cards at all? 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:09.360 Do I get to be somebody that I want to be outside of being a mum and a partner? 00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:14.000 And so yeah, that's that's where the art came in and it really blossomed. 00:38:14.079 --> 00:38:18.639 And I again I was I'll tell you now, I am the most terrible businesswoman. 00:38:18.800 --> 00:38:21.679 I I don't know what I'm doing. 00:38:21.760 --> 00:38:25.360 I didn't have the brain capacity to create as well as do the business side of things. 00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:28.960 I I take my hat off to anybody who can do that seriously. 00:38:29.119 --> 00:38:29.360 Yeah. 00:38:29.519 --> 00:38:49.440 And yeah, so I kept the business really, really small, and that plays a really big role in, you know, when I eventually became free of the this toxic tie that I had to that lifestyle, which was I felt like that was my value, and I and I was I was supposed to do those roles, and I was supposed to be that person. 00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:54.559 And in the end, pouring from an empty cup, I just was slowly losing myself. 00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:58.320 Um and everything became like a bit of a chore. 00:38:58.559 --> 00:39:06.320 Um but yeah, we we ended up having our little girl Marley complete and utter surprise, like honestly. 00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:09.280 I don't think I I don't know where she came from. 00:39:09.360 --> 00:39:10.239 I don't even yeah. 00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:13.039 So I was like, I was like, holy heck, I'm pregnant. 00:39:13.119 --> 00:39:17.119 And you know, Marley came along, six-year age gap from chance and Charlie. 00:39:17.519 --> 00:39:24.400 And that that again, super, super traumatic, sort of like birthing lifestyle and story. 00:39:24.480 --> 00:39:31.920 Like the whole the whole pregnancy was just a shambles, you know, their dad was in the middle of being delisted, pretty much. 00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:34.159 So, and then the retiring side of things. 00:39:34.320 --> 00:39:42.800 And when an when an athlete actually their career dies, it's a whole nother area, you know, there's a whole nother bunch of emotions. 00:39:42.880 --> 00:39:44.320 There's yeah, absolutely. 00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:52.639 And yeah, I was just like that's during those times you yearned for your family, you yearned for your parents, and and it was just super difficult. 00:39:52.719 --> 00:40:00.400 But lucky for me, I had a really um one of my bestest friends, Clem, um, she was she was like my partner during this whole thing, you know. 00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:01.679 She came to my appointments. 00:40:01.760 --> 00:40:01.920 Yeah. 00:40:02.159 --> 00:40:05.360 We watched the kids, you know, we tag teamed and looked after the kids. 00:40:05.519 --> 00:40:08.400 One would go do this, we studied together, we worked together. 00:40:08.559 --> 00:40:08.880 Yeah. 00:40:09.599 --> 00:40:17.920 This is from you know, 18, 19, 20 year old who should be out living her best life, but she stuck it out with me and I'll forever be. 00:40:18.320 --> 00:40:21.119 Yeah, absolutely, forever grateful. 00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:21.519 Yeah. 00:40:21.760 --> 00:40:31.199 But same time, I was just like, I shouldn't have to be relying on my girlfriend, my sister girl for me to to help me raise our kids. 00:40:31.440 --> 00:40:35.199 And and so, yeah, it was really frustrating. 00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:42.000 So when we had Mali, I think I instantly knew that she was different or something wasn't quite right. 00:40:42.320 --> 00:40:43.039 Instantly. 00:40:43.199 --> 00:40:46.800 Like, you know, she had to be put in an incubator, she was extremely furry. 00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:49.760 Kids called her little baby wolf for the first time. 00:40:50.559 --> 00:40:51.199 Baby wolf. 00:40:51.519 --> 00:40:59.599 Um just wasn't lacking um, wasn't latching on, wasn't growing. 00:40:59.840 --> 00:41:11.599 She looked like a little old man, and I was just like, here I was, had two full-term, healthy babies, you know, Jens 9.8, Charlie, I think she was eight pounds, seven-eleven-ish. 00:41:12.000 --> 00:41:15.360 And then there was Marley who just wasn't thriving. 00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:19.280 And I I felt like I was sitting in a berth. 00:41:19.440 --> 00:41:25.519 I remember after I was having Marley, I was sitting in like a one of those classes where they teach a lachoton stuff. 00:41:25.920 --> 00:41:27.119 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:41:27.280 --> 00:41:31.599 Like yeah, lactated lactation consultant or something like a Yeah, yeah. 00:41:31.840 --> 00:41:36.000 And so I was at the hospital and I was sitting in one of those, and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here? 00:41:36.239 --> 00:41:40.559 I've got two kids who've literally eaten the bones off my body. 00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:41.199 Yeah. 00:41:42.320 --> 00:41:43.760 I'll know what I'm doing. 00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.920 Something's not right, you know. 00:41:46.239 --> 00:41:54.000 And you know, I just thought, if I can just get to that six-week mark with breastfeeding, so it was just all up through the night making sure that I was pumping. 00:41:54.079 --> 00:41:59.679 And I I do have implants as well, so that it affects because I didn't think I was gonna have any more kids. 00:42:00.159 --> 00:42:00.880 Oh yeah. 00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:06.159 Charlie literally ate them, so I was like, Great, I'd love a pair of boobs. 00:42:06.960 --> 00:42:07.840 You do, girlfriend. 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:08.159 Yeah. 00:42:09.039 --> 00:42:14.960 So that obviously affects with breastfeeding, but I was pumping enough to get Miley by. 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.119 Yeah, you could see your supply, yeah. 00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:18.159 Yeah, exactly. 00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:24.480 So even though she was latching on, she figured out the bottles were a lot more easier for her to get a supply and whatnot. 00:42:24.639 --> 00:42:25.840 So it was okay. 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:32.719 And then I went to a six-week appointment here in at Kooper and the lady

kind of I walked in, I thought it was my third baby. 00:42:32.880 --> 00:42:34.239 Like, chances had everything. 00:42:34.320 --> 00:42:36.639 He's got the latest Jordan, the best pram. 00:42:37.920 --> 00:42:39.199 Judd gave us our pram. 00:42:39.280 --> 00:42:44.079 Like we had we had everything, and then there's Charlie who's like, Yeah, hand me down, there's Marlene. 00:42:44.239 --> 00:42:44.480 Yeah, yeah. 00:42:47.679 --> 00:42:52.960 I had a beautiful, like limited edition denim bugaboo, and you know, I had everything. 00:42:53.039 --> 00:42:55.360 I looked, if I wanted to look apart, I could. 00:42:55.599 --> 00:43:11.599 But after being my third child, I walked in with a coffee, I had a black knitted jumper on, some black trackies, and a little red book with me, and look, I just looked like I rolled off the streets and because I couldn't see a ramp where to bring the the pram up, so I was like, I'll just carry her fine, she's tight. 00:43:12.159 --> 00:43:25.280 So I walk in there and the lady's like looking at Marley and she's like, Oh, you know, and and I could tell like she I felt extremely judged, and I was like, you know, maybe she's not judging me, maybe she's actually looked concerned, you know. 00:43:25.519 --> 00:43:29.599 And then the the nurse who was looking after us, she said, Look, I just need to say this to you. 00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:39.679 Like, we correspond with all the hospitals around Brisbane, and she goes, If I need to contact child protection services, I don't need to advise you. 00:43:40.079 --> 00:43:42.639 And instantly, like, I lost my voice. 00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:43.760 Oh my god. 00:43:44.079 --> 00:43:45.119 I lost my voice. 00:43:45.199 --> 00:43:49.199 I am an I can be quite opinionated too and and stand up for myself. 00:43:49.280 --> 00:43:54.159 I'm not afraid to stand up for myself, but in that moment when I heard child protection, I just lost my voice. 00:43:54.559 --> 00:43:55.920 Oh, awful. 00:43:56.159 --> 00:43:59.840 Could they take my little girl away because she's not growing? 00:44:00.000 --> 00:44:02.800 Yes, I was I was in panic mode, absolutely. 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:11.039 And then the nurse I said, Oh look, like I do have implants, I do have a struggling milk supply, but we are getting on her own formula now, we've hit the six week mark. 00:44:11.199 --> 00:44:20.400 And I called my ex at the time and he was away preparing to play Sydney Swans and I was like, You need to come home, they might talk about she's not thriving. 00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:26.480 And I've known since this since having Marley to up to now that something was not right. 00:44:26.719 --> 00:44:36.880 Like never cried, she's always happy, slept really long hours, didn't smile, didn't dart around the room with her eyes, and I was like, Okay. 00:44:37.360 --> 00:44:43.360 So we went and saw a pediatrician, and the pediatrician was like, Yeah, look, we think there might be a genetic problem. 00:44:43.760 --> 00:44:48.239 And seven months of you know, all of the testing, genetic testing, and whatnot. 00:44:48.800 --> 00:44:57.440 Yeah, we found out she's got NAA 10, which is called uh other known as Ogden syndrome, which is like a uh a rare genetic disorder. 00:44:57.519 --> 00:44:59.599 There's like 10 people in Australia who have it. 00:44:59.840 --> 00:45:03.199 It's it's all like failure to thrive type stuff. 00:45:03.519 --> 00:45:08.400 She very low muscle tone, low mouth muscle tone as well. 00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:13.280 She has level three autism, uh, sensory, a lot of sensory issues. 00:45:13.519 --> 00:45:13.760 Yeah. 00:45:13.920 --> 00:45:15.760 And again, she was a bag of bones. 00:45:15.840 --> 00:45:20.800 Like she just wouldn't put on weight until we got her on the formula and she plumped up really, really quick. 00:45:20.960 --> 00:45:21.280 Yeah. 00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:25.679 But again, all the developmental stuff was extremely behind. 00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:29.519 And when we got her diagnosis, I was just like, Oh, I knew it. 00:45:29.599 --> 00:45:32.559 You know, nobody nobody listened. 00:45:32.719 --> 00:45:37.840 And, you know, you'd think third time around, it's not my first rodeo, I know what I'm doing, you know. 00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:38.320 Yeah. 00:45:38.960 --> 00:45:41.760 I was just so frustrated because I hadn't been heard. 00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:52.559 And it was just like, I remember Clem was with me, a friend who was helping me through it all, and one of my friends brought their baby on uh over into our house for tea or whatever, and his baby cried. 00:45:53.119 --> 00:45:55.039 Clem was like, Oh my god, what's going on? 00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:56.719 Like, is that baby okay? 00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:58.719 And I was like, That's normal, Clem. 00:45:59.119 --> 00:46:00.079 What a baby should be doing. 00:46:00.239 --> 00:46:00.480 Yeah. 00:46:00.960 --> 00:46:02.159 That's the big, you know. 00:46:02.239 --> 00:46:04.159 I was like, Molly doesn't cry. 00:46:04.480 --> 00:46:08.559 And so yeah, in the end I became Molly's full-time carer. 00:46:08.960 --> 00:46:09.360 Of course. 00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:09.920 Yeah. 00:46:10.320 --> 00:46:27.599 You know, all while then embarking into a a huge breakup where I was like, Holy shit, I've been a stay-home mum for 10, 12 years, don't own my own money, I didn't get to have my own career, I didn't get to have a job, I relied solely on my ex. 00:46:28.239 --> 00:46:30.239 How the hell am I supposed to start again? 00:46:30.719 --> 00:46:31.199 What do you do? 00:46:31.440 --> 00:46:31.679 Yeah. 00:46:31.840 --> 00:46:40.000 How do you yeah, how do you expect me to get a rental or a credit card or a a loan to get myself a place, you know? 00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:46.800 And I was just like, I was when I looked at the bigger picture, I was like, I'm up shit creek without a paddle, like, where do I go from here? 00:46:47.039 --> 00:46:49.440 I have I did my job. 00:46:49.840 -->

00:47:02.559 I did everything I was supposed to do, I played my role, and now because I d I don't serve my purpose anymore, I need to restart and find a way to go for it. 00:47:02.719 --> 00:47:03.199 Yeah. 00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:04.320 Absolutely. 00:47:04.400 --> 00:47:07.679 And it's it was such a difficult time, I think. 00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:08.880 Well, I knew it was coming. 00:47:08.960 --> 00:47:14.480 There was always things in in the work, and I ended up playing mum and dad for such a long time to the kids, you know. 00:47:14.719 --> 00:47:18.719 Taught them to ride their bikes and build things, we would go on adventures. 00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:31.039 We were always busy off exploring, and you know, he'd be in he'd be in uh Costa Rica or you know, Cancun for his off season and have all these stickers on his passport, and I'd be home carrying the load, you know. 00:47:31.360 --> 00:47:32.239 With the kids, yeah. 00:47:32.320 --> 00:47:32.559 Yeah. 00:47:32.800 --> 00:47:33.440 With the kids. 00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:34.880 What a ride, Emma. 00:47:34.960 --> 00:47:37.519 What a what an what an absolute ride. 00:47:37.679 --> 00:47:52.159 And I was just sort of thinking like in yeah, from a from a mental health practitioner perspective, in terms of that experience with Marley as as a young baby and you feeling unheard and and how quick people are to judge. 00:47:52.239 --> 00:48:07.440 Um, and we talk about this in in my work all the time, in terms of you know, it's it's it's normal for us to make judgments, like that's how our brain works, but there also needs to be an element of critical critical reflection there to take a step back or look at a bigger picture. 00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:12.400 And and regardless, your baby was six months old, you're allowed to look a bit disheveled. 00:48:12.559 --> 00:48:13.440 Like yeah. 00:48:13.599 --> 00:48:14.880 So let's talk about the art. 00:48:14.960 --> 00:48:22.960 So the art is obviously now a huge part of your life in so many different ways, I'm imagining. 00:48:23.199 --> 00:48:31.039 And I'm also imagining that that's that's a part that keeps you connected to your culture and to to probably back home as well. 00:48:31.519 --> 00:48:32.400 Tell us about that. 00:48:32.559 --> 00:48:35.360 What you know, yeah, everything. 00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:42.400 I I think like like I said, when I separated, I was like, holy heck, how am I gonna keep the lights on? 00:48:42.639 --> 00:49:07.840 And then I was like, I have my art, you know, I've I know it's just I'm just skimming the surface, but I have this whole avenue I can go down to um, you know, not only do something that I'm passionate about, but help me keep me reconnected to my mob and my family, um, help keep culture within my household, but it also can help me keep the lights on. 00:49:08.079 --> 00:49:12.239 And so I started taking on um, you know, orders and commissions. 00:49:12.400 --> 00:49:16.880 I started doing, you know, the little canvas um Converse shoes and stuff. 00:49:17.039 --> 00:49:21.519 I'd just do little money makers along the way, and then like I would just make my money stretch. 00:49:21.599 --> 00:49:26.159 I would always just make sure first of all, like I'd be wearing knickers from like five years ago. 00:49:26.480 --> 00:49:30.079 Yeah, my kids will have like brand new ASICs for school. 00:49:30.159 --> 00:49:30.800 Like you know. 00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:37.039 So I was like, as long as the kids are okay, I can I can work with what I have. 00:49:37.280 --> 00:49:55.840 And got this little rental here, and we just turned it into a home in the kids, and it was our home, our safe space, all whilst ensuring that I was extremely available to my kids because I know I know kids are resilient, but I didn't want them to have to carry the load of our adult problems. 00:49:56.239 --> 00:49:58.880 And that was really, really important to me. 00:49:59.119 --> 00:50:05.039 So I was like, I'm going to we we've got we've got a wicked relationship, me and my children. 00:50:05.199 --> 00:50:06.719 Like they tell me everything. 00:50:06.880 --> 00:50:12.480 Everything's I guarantee one day Yeah, but I guarantee one day when Tenth kissed the girl, he'd be like, Mum. 00:50:13.679 --> 00:50:14.320 You know? 00:50:15.280 --> 00:50:27.280 So I have a really, really good relationship with the kids, and my home became the home hub, and eventually the dad got his shit together and he had his own place and we started looking at sharing custody and stuff like that. 00:50:27.440 --> 00:50:27.760 Yeah. 00:50:28.159 --> 00:50:35.039 So I would just I'd be mum during the day, and as soon as eight o'clock hit, I'd be artist. 00:50:35.199 --> 00:50:40.480 So I'd work from like eight right up till three in the morning, consistently, night after night. 00:50:40.719 --> 00:50:51.679 And I found I could when I'm broken and hurting, I would create some of the most beautiful pieces of art because I was able to like let that out through my work. 00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:53.199 That's your processing, yeah. 00:50:53.360 --> 00:50:57.119 Yeah, and I'm I'm I swear I'm undiagnosed ADHD. 00:50:57.199 --> 00:51:01.280 Well, everyone tells me I don't think I am, but anyway, yeah, so it's so funny. 00:51:01.679 --> 00:51:06.400 I procrastinate and move the house around and stuff like that consistently. 00:51:06.480 --> 00:51:07.519 I'm always late. 00:51:07.760 --> 00:51:19.440 And anyway, I found that doing my artwork at night helped me really find my creative burst, and I started and I actually got a really big gig with JD Sport. 00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:23.599 I ended up doing a um a back panel of every shop in Australia. 00:51:23.679 --> 00:51:25.280 So my work was amazing. 00:51:25.519 --> 00:51:29.440 Yeah, and you know, I started getting really good gigs and money started to flow. 00:51:29.519 --> 00:51:39.360 I started doing the Christmas baubles, and all whilst I was so I was yearning, never yearned

this badly before to go back home to my family. 00:51:39.920 --> 00:51:40.159 Yeah. 00:51:40.400 --> 00:51:46.559 Because, you know, again, I'd I'd fill my cup my what my kids filled my cup up a little bit. 00:51:46.639 --> 00:52:13.599 I would always pour back into them, and then I was just always on dregs, just trying fumes, trying to make things work, and all whilst battling this separation and the the the the betrayal of why am I here, but also I couldn't go out in the nightclubs and stuff like that without oh you're so-and-so's ex or you know, I couldn't date because oh yeah, you people footy fans are everywhere and everyone knew my life. 00:52:13.760 --> 00:52:19.360 And so I was just like first thing I did was decluttered my house. 00:52:19.599 --> 00:52:25.119 I um cleaned out my wardrobe, cleaned out all the old furniture, I created an art theater in a garage. 00:52:25.280 --> 00:52:26.559 And I was like, this is my spot. 00:52:26.639 --> 00:52:29.199 This is my spot for my kids, do what you want, wherever. 00:52:29.519 --> 00:52:30.239 This is my spot. 00:52:35.440 --> 00:52:36.239 Absolutely. 00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:46.000 And um during that process, you know, re rebirthing myself into the woman I am today, where I was like, nah, I'm done with putting up with the shit. 00:52:46.159 --> 00:52:52.159 Okay, I'm done with being a doormat, I'm done with being a piece of furniture, I'm doing what I want to do. 00:52:52.320 --> 00:52:54.320 And so my house became mine. 00:52:54.480 --> 00:52:58.960 And you know, as my um Hindu family across the road taught me how to mow my lawn. 00:52:59.119 --> 00:53:00.880 Less beautiful people. 00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:13.519 Um, and so yeah, I was like, it gave me such pride in my home and then so much pride in my work, and I started to really reconnect with my cultural identity and my visions, you know. 00:53:13.679 --> 00:53:20.079 I during that period I had gone on to I I needed help and I ended up getting onto a uh what do you call it? 00:53:20.239 --> 00:53:22.960 Medication for anxiety and stuff like that, surgery. 00:53:23.199 --> 00:53:26.159 Like, yep, yep, yep, like an antidepressant type thing, yeah. 00:53:26.400 --> 00:53:30.719 Yeah, and for so long I was like, oh my god, like I'm that person, like what the hell? 00:53:30.800 --> 00:53:33.119 Like, I'm on medication for this. 00:53:33.360 --> 00:54:01.039 But no, I was like, this has made my life better, and I am able to cope, and I am able to find be more productive with my time and be more available to my children because I ended up getting help, and so being on that medication helped me start doing a schedule and routining my lifestyle and making sure that the kids didn't miss out and making sure I was meeting timelines with my artwork and stuff like that. 00:54:01.119 --> 00:54:09.280 So, yeah, I was like my business side of things started to really boom, but they only just started really booming when I met my partner. 00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:10.239 Yeah. 00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:12.079 Oh my god. 00:54:14.480 --> 00:54:25.920 Oh my god, and that's where life just changed because I was totally convinced I was dying alone with 15 cats in a little shack somewhere, they'd eat me and you know, bobby. 00:54:27.280 --> 00:54:33.119 Yeah, you know, why you know I was so okay with being alone and I was just I just accepted it. 00:54:33.440 --> 00:54:39.760 Like, you know, it was nice getting attention off Instagram and all that sort of stuff, but it was always so skin deep, you know? 00:54:40.000 --> 00:54:40.880 Yes, yeah, yeah. 00:54:41.519 --> 00:54:47.599 Surface level and stuff just shallow and you know using that connection that we spoke about earlier. 00:54:47.840 --> 00:54:59.679 Yes, nobody really was able to captivate my core and and make me think or make me want to engage more until I met my partner Legan. 00:54:59.840 --> 00:55:02.559 And it's crazy, like when you know, you know. 00:55:02.639 --> 00:55:09.760 Because not only was I having to choose a partner for myself when I was ready, they they had to align with my babies. 00:55:09.920 --> 00:55:11.119 100%, yeah. 00:55:11.440 --> 00:55:15.519 That was never um non-negotiable, non-negotiable, yeah. 00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:19.760 And he had to be a good fit for me and a good fit for the kids. 00:55:20.079 --> 00:55:22.079 And you know, it just so happens. 00:55:22.159 --> 00:55:26.880 I actually met Legan on Tinder and Aboriginal fella from the Gold Coast. 00:55:27.039 --> 00:55:36.079 Um, we couldn't be our our cultural identities are so vast and different to the point where we we balance each other out really well too. 00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:37.039 Sure, yeah. 00:55:37.360 --> 00:55:54.559 So um, and he's worked up in like Aracoon communities and stuff like that, been in the mining industry for a really long time, but he's worked with with mob one-on-one, um, working alongside all the little kids there, and they'd pick everyone up in the ferry and take them to and from and just giving back community to. 00:55:54.639 --> 00:55:54.960 Yeah. 00:55:55.360 --> 00:55:59.920 So he he's he was quite a sorched deadly blackballer to me. 00:56:00.000 --> 00:56:02.960 And I was like, oh my god, like he's amazing. 00:56:03.039 --> 00:56:07.039 And our first date, we just we just laughed the whole time. 00:56:07.199 --> 00:56:14.159 Like, I remember like I made him laugh so much that he spat his drink across the table, and I was like, now we have to get married. 00:56:14.400 --> 00:56:15.280 No, it's happening. 00:56:17.199 --> 00:56:33.119 But yeah, and I was so shocked because I was so used to living on empty and and being second like second first last on the list that I was like, Did I just find somebody who like loves me and and all the bits that come with me and and wants to be with me? 00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:35.039 Like, I was shocked. 00:56:35.199 --> 00:56:38.880 I was really shocked because I was like, this wasn't meant to be on

the cards. 00:56:39.119 --> 00:56:41.920 Yeah, I I was I just ex I'd just given up. 00:56:42.079 --> 00:56:46.000 And um, yeah, so Legan came into our life and I instantly knew. 00:56:46.079 --> 00:56:48.960 I think we went on one date and I was like, You're not leaving me ever. 00:56:51.679 --> 00:56:59.679 And we're just that that's it, he has healed me in s on so many levels because we like we're like stupid big kids. 00:56:59.840 --> 00:57:03.360 We just and laugh all day long and it's ridiculous. 00:57:03.440 --> 00:57:08.960 And I'm sometimes we're like, Can you imagine if people hurt us the way we like don't? 00:57:09.280 --> 00:57:19.760 Um But yeah, we're just I found my soulmate and my best friend by chance, and I was just like, oh my god, like this is insane. 00:57:19.840 --> 00:57:29.039 And then not only that, like not only did he fall in love with me as a person, and then he saw my artwork and he was like, Oh, you need to do more. 00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:32.480 He was like, This the world deserves to see this. 00:57:32.639 --> 00:57:38.239 Yeah, I was like, I was like, Oh my god, calm down, like this is my this is my hobby, man. 00:57:38.639 --> 00:57:43.760 He was like, No, no, honey, he's like, We're gonna get you there. 00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:52.079 And I said, Okay, but I love that you want to be a part of this, but just so you know, I only have brain capacity for the creative side. 00:57:52.239 --> 00:57:58.559 He's like, That's fine, it's that's fine, I can do the rest, I can answer emails, I can write up blogs and stuff like that. 00:57:58.719 --> 00:57:59.360 We're good. 00:57:59.519 --> 00:58:00.719 And I was like, Okay. 00:58:01.679 --> 00:58:03.519 I'm like falling in love all over again. 00:58:03.679 --> 00:58:04.159 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:24.639 And yeah, so the the business we started moving into prints and stuff like that, and the the business just blossomed because I had a partner in my life who saw me for what I was capable of, and was extremely proud of me and was willing to fill in the gaps where I couldn't. 00:58:24.960 --> 00:58:28.400 And he he is the reason why we are where we are at. 00:58:28.559 --> 00:58:50.960 And I'm thinking, Holy heck, I've been with someone for 14 years with all the best connections, monster, Red Bull, buddy, tuma, and there's my partner who's just come off his FIFO swing from Night Shift driving a dozer, and he's sitting down taking the time to break everything open for me, and that's exactly what we did. 00:58:51.440 --> 00:58:59.519 And so I owe a huge amount of like of my success to my partner because we are a team and it's now our business. 00:58:59.599 --> 00:59:04.400 We we are officially a black-owned business that is flourishing, you know. 00:59:05.039 --> 00:59:05.840 Amazing. 00:59:06.079 --> 00:59:07.119 Yeah, absolutely. 00:59:07.360 --> 00:59:10.480 You yeah, give him some credit for sure. 00:59:10.800 --> 00:59:14.000 Let's do that, but also let's give you some credit as well. 00:59:14.079 --> 00:59:29.519 Like you've lived that life, and I I'm certain he is your biggest supporter, but you've lived that life to get where you are now, and you've been able to then find the people to be around you to to get you there, find that partner, and you've done that. 00:59:29.599 --> 00:59:35.599 Um absolutely let's give him some credit, but let's also give you some credit as well, Emma. 00:59:36.239 --> 00:59:40.559 So it's crazy because I didn't think much of myself in that yeah. 00:59:40.960 --> 01:00:00.960 It was funny, like I knew I could I was talented in a way or was doing something different to what other people were doing, but it wasn't until like he sat me down and was like, boy, like for real, you you have something here and and you can be great if you start taking it seriously. 01:00:01.119 --> 01:00:12.400 And I wasn't, and you know, it wasn't until we had that real stop in-depth conversation where we really looked at the future, and I was just like, Okay, um okay, let's give it a go. 01:00:12.559 --> 01:00:22.480 And that's when I started creating the turtle piece and the Willy Wagtail piece, and I was creating artwork that I've never really created before, and I was like, Well, where does this come from? 01:00:22.639 --> 01:00:24.079 Like, what's happening right now? 01:00:24.239 --> 01:00:33.119 And it was because I was given a very, very vulnerable, safe space to create without having to worry about looking after everybody. 01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:35.920 So kudos to my beautiful man. 01:00:36.159 --> 01:00:36.960 Yeah, absolutely. 01:00:37.440 --> 01:00:38.320 Kudos to me. 01:00:38.960 --> 01:00:40.320 Absolutely, yes, yes. 01:00:40.480 --> 01:00:52.880 Um I feel so I have lots of emotions within me right now, Emma, in terms of everything that you've just spoken about and that that real rawness and honesty of of your storytelling. 01:00:53.039 --> 01:00:54.880 So I really personally appreciate that. 01:00:54.960 --> 01:00:56.800 So thank you so, so much. 01:00:57.039 --> 01:01:03.679 But also, I guess in terms of that, you know, we talk about, I'm just reflecting on so many things, so I apologize. 01:01:03.760 --> 01:01:16.800 But in in terms of almost every episode of the podcast I do, it always comes back to this component of vulnerability, storytelling, the importance of the people you have around you and and the role that they play in your life. 01:01:17.039 --> 01:01:27.679 And if you have the right people around you, or or depending on who you have around you, can really change the trajectory of your life in so many different ways and areas. 01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:41.920 And if you have someone that is there to support your hopes and dreams and goals, and even if they are these big far-fetched, outlandish things, if they back you, then that's going to make a difference in how you go after that and yeah, what you do with that. 01:01:42.000 --> 01:01:47.760 And I just think your whole

story has just been so incredibly powerful to listen to. 01:01:48.079 --> 01:01:53.199 I am so honoured and privileged to have had you on the podcast to talk about this. 01:01:53.280 --> 01:01:54.320 So thank you so much. 01:01:54.559 --> 01:02:04.800 In terms of your artwork, like as I said, I don't know how long I've been following you for, but I reckon you were still, I reckon you're probably still linked with Carlton. 01:02:05.039 --> 01:02:13.679 Yeah, like I because I you did a jumper or footy boots or something, and that's how I found you. 01:02:13.760 --> 01:02:17.360 So I've been following stalking. 01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:20.000 Safely, I promise. 01:02:20.079 --> 01:02:25.039 I don't know where you live, but like for a really long time. 01:02:25.119 --> 01:02:28.159 And I like I I totally agree with your partner. 01:02:28.239 --> 01:02:33.039 Your your artwork and how what you put out there into the world is something so, so powerful. 01:02:33.280 --> 01:02:39.920 And I think without knowing your full story at that time, like it felt really authentic as to who you are. 01:02:40.079 --> 01:02:44.639 Again, without knowing, that's just you know, the Instagram face value type stuff. 01:02:44.880 --> 01:03:09.360 But like the power of that, and then to hear that, you know, that small girl from remote WA to, you know, it's it's different, like you think about it in different ways, but to be in the spotlight and to be able to give an opportunity have an opportunity to show your culture and to to represent who you are is powerful, but to do it in a way that is is right for you as well. 01:03:09.440 --> 01:03:10.800 I think is so important. 01:03:11.280 --> 01:03:20.639 And then to get to, I guess for listeners fast forwarding to now, Emma just spoke about this turtle artwork, which is just amazing and and beautiful. 01:03:20.719 --> 01:03:25.840 And I was like, sea turtles are like my favorite, and I was like, I want that. 01:03:26.159 --> 01:03:36.079 But then like it was like two weeks later, you posted you had a couple of canvases up for commission, and I was just like, oh my god, it's an opportunity, it's it's time. 01:03:36.239 --> 01:03:57.599 And Emma has created this beautiful artwork for me, and I'm I need to pull my finger out and come and collect it, but like I just like I uh I'm so I don't know the fangirling moment again, and and I think for me it's around I love supporting people who are authentic, who are are doing it and doing the things that are right for them. 01:03:57.760 --> 01:04:06.880 And so it's there's that component for me in terms of who I support, and that is really, really important to me, and where I can support people to live their wild potential as well is so important to me. 01:04:06.960 --> 01:04:30.320 Like I can't just sit here and talk the talk and say we should all be living our wild potential if if we're not collaborating in that space and creating that community and and supporting and encouraging, and sometimes that is where we spend our money and the posts we share on Facebook and Instagram and giving people likes and commenting on things, like it doesn't always have to be the monetary value, but like having the conversation or or checking in. 01:04:30.480 --> 01:04:52.480 And so I am extremely honoured and privileged to own when I collect it a piece of your artwork is so special for me, and to have you on a piece of my work in in this podcast is just so incredibly I don't know, I don't have the words, but it's it's been amazing. 01:04:52.639 --> 01:05:06.639 So I think honestly, to have your support since Carlton Days, that's wild, and that's magical because that means like you've really been a part of my journey. 01:05:06.880 --> 01:05:08.800 Really, really been part of my journey. 01:05:08.960 --> 01:05:21.920 And so yeah, you've seen the evolution of Emma and and Charlie Wante as well, and it's crazy your piece, because I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna love doing this because this is right up my alley. 01:05:22.079 --> 01:05:25.039 Like, and I really wanted it to be quite powerful. 01:05:25.199 --> 01:05:50.559 So if you haven't seen the piece, it's the woman holding up the uh the yarning circle, and just the woman's shape in the center, which is like you uh effectively holding up living and breathing, acting it out and being in in all your glory, a woman who supports women for who they are, for where they are, for what they're doing, you know, for their journeys. 01:05:50.639 --> 01:06:09.119 And and I I loved that because I was like, I've been doing that such a long time that I love when I see other women who just Doing it naturally too because they can, not because they have to or because it's gonna get their likes up or anything, it's because they can and they want to, you know. 01:06:09.519 --> 01:06:39.760 And so with this piece, it's the first time I've used crystals, I've used the uh like proper rose quartz in there, I've used Rainbow Moonstone, which is like positivity and divine femininity, and then I've also used like little tiny natural little blossoms from native flowers, like tiny, tiny ones, and I I just love the way it's turned out because really the women and yourself included are the center of this piece, and you are what we're really looking at. 01:06:39.920 --> 01:06:47.039 The background is all the women that we connect with, all the people we connect with in our life, who have helped us, who have been a part of our journey. 01:06:47.360 --> 01:07:00.400 But it it is the absolute representation of you as a woman who gives, who can continue to give, who loves wholeheartedly, who sees other people, who hears other people. 01:07:00.719 --> 01:07:10.960 And that's why this piece is extra special to the point where I had to ask you if we could do pretty because the response was insane. 01:07:11.360 --> 01:07:22.800 Like we had so many women who just wanted this staunch, beautiful captivating woman, the you know,

captivating the femininity and the beauty of us as women. 01:07:22.960 --> 01:07:41.440 And I know the world right now is a bit here, there, and everywhere about women and and what's going on and all that sort of stuff, but as long as we stay true to ourselves and recognize our true beauty as women, like that piece instantly, I had to ask you if we could do prints. 01:07:41.840 --> 01:07:43.199 And I've never done that before. 01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:45.440 I was like, no, that's so embarrassing, Han. 01:07:45.679 --> 01:07:46.159 We can't do that. 01:07:46.320 --> 01:07:48.000 And he was like, baby, you never know. 01:07:48.079 --> 01:07:48.960 Like you never know. 01:07:49.280 --> 01:07:49.920 Just ask. 01:07:50.239 --> 01:07:51.519 And I was like, okay. 01:07:51.920 --> 01:07:54.400 And I couldn't recreate it even if I tried. 01:07:54.480 --> 01:08:10.480 Like it really wouldn't come close to the original because it just there was so much passion poured into that piece, and it came really from the core of me because I was like, this is what I want to see more of, you know, the world needs more of this, you know. 01:08:10.719 --> 01:08:11.599 Yeah, beautiful. 01:08:11.679 --> 01:08:13.039 Like I'm a bit speechless. 01:08:13.199 --> 01:08:14.159 Um thank you. 01:08:14.480 --> 01:08:19.119 Yeah, like I I agree in terms of like when you sent that message. 01:08:19.359 --> 01:08:24.640 Interesting, as I said to you, I had like a mixed feeling at the beginning, and then I was like the same. 01:08:24.720 --> 01:08:25.760 I was like, no, fuck it. 01:08:25.840 --> 01:08:29.680 Like this this means something, and it's really important that that is out there. 01:08:29.760 --> 01:08:36.319 And if people other people are also connecting to that and feeling that, then that's really important to me. 01:08:36.399 --> 01:08:45.680 And and um if that it's as I said, if that's something that helps you as well in the in that and and helps community and that, it's just like this. 01:08:45.760 --> 01:08:51.920 I I think it's just this beautiful full circle moment, and and that's the whole point or the meaning behind the artwork. 01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:58.319 So it was like, imagine if I said no, like oh honestly, if you would have said no, it would have been like totally get it. 01:08:58.399 --> 01:08:59.199 Like, it's fine. 01:09:00.640 --> 01:09:17.279 I think one thing that really like when you're when you messaged me and asked for a commission, I was like, there's a bit of a sigh of relief because I had been doing so many heavy stories for a few months, you know, and then I was like, people are going through shit right now. 01:09:17.760 --> 01:09:28.000 Life is getting harder and heavier by the day, you know, whether you're trying to make ends meet and get yourself have have a roof over your head and stuff like that. 01:09:28.159 --> 01:09:34.079 Hell, you can't even like find parking and bloody everything, you know, like everything's happening. 01:09:34.239 -->

01:09:44.800 And I was just like, so I was getting a lot of these really heavy stories to to paint commissions for, and I was like, and so many people losing loved ones, we call that sorry business, you know, sorry time. 01:09:45.039 --> 01:09:48.960 And I was just thinking, there is so much sadness around at the moment. 01:09:49.039 --> 01:09:59.600 So when when your story came through, like what you wanted, and in your commission, I was like, Yes, I need this, Instagram needs this, you need this, the world needs this. 01:10:00.239 --> 01:10:06.800 Here's a bit of positivity and a and a bit of light for everyone to be able to enjoy. 01:10:07.039 --> 01:10:08.159 So I thank you. 01:10:08.239 --> 01:10:17.600 I honestly I'm grateful for the opportunity and to know that it's this piece is going to a home where it's going to be adorned upon on the daily. 01:10:17.840 --> 01:10:25.039 And don't be afraid to to touch it because I find like it's important to physically connect with your piece too. 01:10:25.119 --> 01:10:26.800 So that's why I put a lot of texture in. 01:10:26.880 --> 01:10:30.720 It's it's part acrylic, you can't feel anything off unless you really get in there. 01:10:31.039 --> 01:10:43.119 But I think you should touch it as much as you can just to remind yourself one of your journey, two, what you're doing it for, three, where you're at, and what what's possible for the future for yourself, you know? 01:10:43.279 --> 01:10:43.840 But thank you. 01:10:43.920 --> 01:10:46.960 From the bottom of my heart, from our little family to yours, thank you. 01:10:47.279 --> 01:10:48.880 No, Emma, that's so sweet. 01:10:48.960 --> 01:10:50.000 That's so sweet. 01:10:50.560 --> 01:10:57.199 Well, to wrap up, Emma, let's tell listeners how they can find you, find your artwork, buy a print. 01:10:57.600 --> 01:10:59.439 Well, what's the best contact? 01:10:59.920 --> 01:11:00.239 Okay. 01:11:00.720 --> 01:11:06.319 So my business name is Charlie Wanty, Charlie with an IE, and oneti is the word want with an I. 01:11:06.640 --> 01:11:15.600 So my business is Charlie Wonty on Instagram, and you can there's a link in my bio, you'll be able to see um what's available currently that just gets a link to my shop. 01:11:15.680 --> 01:11:23.520 Yeah, or you can just send me a DM on Instagram, send me a message, or hit me up, Emma, at charliewante.com via mail, email. 01:11:23.760 --> 01:11:28.319 And um, yeah, I look forward to yarning with everybody and anybody because I love people. 01:11:28.640 --> 01:11:31.359 Yeah, everyone do it, everyone do it. 01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:32.720 Well, thanks, Emma. 01:11:32.880 --> 01:11:38.159 It's been a beautiful, beautiful recording session, and I can't wait to get this out into the world. 01:11:38.319 --> 01:11:39.279 You're amazing. 01:11:39.439 --> 01:11:39.840 Thank you. 01:11:40.159 --> 01:11:40.399 Thank you. 01:11:40.640 --> 01:11:44.239 Thanks for the opportunity, and I'm really glad we crossed part. 01:11:46.239 --> 01:11:47.840 All right, thank you. 01:11:48.319 --> 01:11:50.560 Thank you for listening to today's episode. 01:11:50.720 --> 01:11:58.560 We hope that this episode has sparked something in you and encourages you to take that next step in continuing to live your own wild potential. 01:11:58.800 --> 01:12:03.279 If you feel so, please connect with us on social media at FindingYour Wild Potential. 01:12:03.439 --> 01:12:10.560 And share some love by sharing this episode around to your loved ones and leaving us a review on your chosen podcast app. 01:12:11.520 --> 01:12:24.000 If this episode has brought anything up for you, please reach out for support through your regular GP, your local mental health service, or by calling Lifeline on 131114.