UDSKRIFT 🔗
WEBVTT
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Welcome back to the Well Grounded Podcast.
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I am Lee Ann.
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And I am Diane.
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And we are two lifelong friends doing life over coffee and conversations.
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And we have the husbands back.
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Yes.
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We had that conversation with them, and it was so fun.
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We asked them to stay just a little extra so we could have another episode for you guys with these awesome husbands of ours.
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So we are celebrating marriage.
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We've been talking about wisdom.
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We've been talking about whimsy in marriage, which is also known as fun.
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I love it.
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It's sure.
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Not funny.
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We have some questions.
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We have some questions for these guys.
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Yeah.
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And so we're gonna So this is like just like a bonus episode.
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If you notice, we're not actually gonna do like our whole latte moment.
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We're still sipping on the one from last.
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We'll put the recipe in for you.
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Be in our show notes.
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Um, for those of coffee uh baristas out there that want to make it and share it.
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That would be awesome.
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And remember to share and tag us on Well Grounded Podcasts on Instagram.
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Let's do all of our commercials real quick.
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Welcome to all the new Instagram followers that have just taken off this summer.
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We are uh over the summer.
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We got a lot of new um followers.
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Over 2,000.
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I know it's growing, it's growing, it's so good.
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Thousands of people watching every week.
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I know.
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It's so good.
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It's we also have a new Instagram, and we have invited me to follow Diane and Leanne, and it's kind of like a personal side to us um the podcast.
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So the podcast uh Instagram just kind of tracks our giveaways, our uh episodes, just content, things like that.
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But this Instagram is just kind of our personal life.
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And sometimes it's Diane, and sometimes it's Leanne, and sometimes we are laughing because we're together and we are like, we should share this.
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So we just want to take you along on the ride
Load full transcript
with us for sure.
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This is a great way to do this too, is to have the husbands here.
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So we're so excited.
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We have some questions.
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Yeah, and we are gonna be sharing those with these guys.
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But um, we definitely have um that giveaway is still going.
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If you send in your latte moment recipe and it gets selected and on air, on air, you will get a three t-shirt.
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And they can send those recipes through DMs on either of our Instagram accounts or even in our comments, or at staywellgrounded.com.
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Yeah, there's a little messaging.
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We are very easy to find and get in touch with.
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Very good.
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So please reach out to us.
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We would love that.
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We would love that.
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You can also comment recipes on a post and we will see that too.
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Yeah, we'll be tracking that.
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We're looking for those, and so we can't wait to help.
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We're excited.
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Encourage you to uh join in on the fun.
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I think it'll be great.
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Hi guys, you want to introduce yourselves?
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I'm I'm not Tim.
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I'm Dan.
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Dan.
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I am Tim.
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And it's great to be back again.
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Yay!
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We just we just had too much.
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Too much.
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Maybe our last episode.
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All right, here's like a really personal question that just came.
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Are you a Daniel or just Dan?
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Uh well, uh yeah, Daniel is my fool.
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Okay.
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Not many people call me that.
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I I could start, I could start.
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What about Daniel?
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Uh not Danny.
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No.
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No one's ever called me Danny.
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Daniel Son.
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You know why?
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Because your mom is really against it.
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Is that it?
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Yeah, yes.
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Okay, that that might be.
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He's very against it.
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She his brother's actually named Tim.
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Timothy.
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Yes, that's true.
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My grandmother called me Daniel, only Daniel.
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I think your mom has a problem with Danielson.
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Daniel son.
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Yeah.
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Well owed to karate kid.
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We love that.
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But you are Timothy.
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I am Timothy.
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Yes.
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And you're called Tim.
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Yes, I'm called Tim.
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My middle name is James, so I'm thinking about a clothing line of Timothy James.
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Oh, nice.
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That sounds like something you would buy.
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We can share that on the top.
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That sounds fancy.
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Coming soon.
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Timothy James.
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She has been fine.
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Timothy James.
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I'm wearing it.
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Is that a T.
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James you're wearing?
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Yes.
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T James.
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I love it.
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Alrighty goes.
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All right.
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I'm going to get us started on our questions before we get really sidetracked here.
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Well instead of take your time.
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I want, we want, we, these are, you know, questions that we've pondered and wanted to share and get your thoughts on.
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So all right, we're hitting the ground running with this one.
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All right.
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What would you say to a young to young men who are not sure that dating and marriage are worth the trouble and the money?
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I mean, this is a big one.
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We're going for it already.
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What would you say, Tim?
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How much money are we talking about?
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100% buy-in.
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This is the best decision you can ever make in the history of the world outside your relationship with Jesus.
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And uh it is so important.
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Think about this.
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This is your life mate for the rest of your life.
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And someone who can know the good, the bad, and the ugly, and they will still stay with you.
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That's awesome.
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For better or for worse.
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For better or for worse.
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So I would say 100%.
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Oh very good.
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Good answer.
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Yes.
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Good answer.
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Good answer.
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Yeah, definitely.
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I mean, I always I told the kids this, and you know, it's just like I've doubted a lot of stuff I've done, like what school I've gone to and this job, and there's any of it.
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But it's just like that is like the rock solid, kind of like it's almost weird, but I've just never, you know, it's just the main pure decision.
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I mean, yeah.
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Well, excusing me.
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Yes.
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That was it?
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That was it.
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I just want you to be clear.
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Yeah, that's the thing.
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Yeah, marriage.
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Um say it again.
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I think it's implied.
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The topic.
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He's like, don't put me on the spot.
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Yeah.
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So we have we have been able to thank you.
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That's very sweet.
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Yeah.
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Um, we have kids that are in their 20s now.
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Yeah.
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And two of them are married.
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And we are two for two on son-in-laws.
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Precious.
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Amazing.
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You don't realize what you're missing in a family.
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And I know this is questions we're supposed to be asking the husbands.
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Yeah.
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I don't want to chime in.
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Shocking.
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Shocking.
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But and I because I can't speak to the young men about this, but I can speak from the perspective of someone who's benefited from her husband investing in the family and saying that this is a priority.
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Because there is a lot of sacrifice that men have to make to have a successful marriage and family and to be to be loving dads.
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They do have to lay things down.
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They do have to get at the back of the line a lot of times.
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You know, like to say this is my priority.
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If if there's a choice between my child having what they need and me getting what I want, you're gonna choose your family and your kids.
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And I mean that that's an that cultivates kind of an unselfishness that kind of you know tears that down, like our temptation to just be
self-centered.
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Yeah, marriage and parenting can really help with that.
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Yeah, and I've said to young families in particular that your hobby is your family because that's who you should be spending your time with.
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Yeah.
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Because if you're out playing golf for five hours, maybe you can do that from time to time, but on a regular basis, you're missing out on precious time.
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There'll be plenty of time for golf.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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And take your son, or just take your son golfing.
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Or if you can take your kids golfing, that's that's another thing.
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We're teasing.
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No, we're just teasing because our our son is like, really, that's family time.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Let's go golfing.
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Yes.
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So I love it.
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No, you're right.
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It's in especially those young kid years, just being in the trenches together is such a bonding, it's such a rewarding thing.
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Well, and when you're talking even about that in the young years, um dads parent different than moms do, and that's why you make a great team.
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You know, uh sometimes the kids know how to push all your buttons, and sometimes they know how to push all your buttons, and you kind of work together to just to create um the best space that you can.
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And so it's it's important that you kind of remember there's no I and team, so you kind of work together to create that um what's gonna work best for your family unit.
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Love it.
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Love it.
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Okay, definitely.
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Is it my turn with the question?
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Okay, all right.
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All right, from the other side, we talked about young men, so this is coming from the other side.
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Um, girls are always talking about trying to understand the way men think.
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Is this worth the effort?
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Do you think that it's necessary for women, for females, to really try to understand men?
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Is there a benefit?
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No, I don't think so.
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Dan, would you like to answer this question?
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I don't know how I think.
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It's because you don't know how you think it's not words.
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Don't quiz you want to.
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Good luck with that.
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So that's a that's a no from Dan.
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How about you, Tim?
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That's a fair answer.
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That's a good answer.
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I would say love is the key.
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I don't know if you'll ever understand because it is true.
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Well, it it is true that when you ask a man sometimes, what are you thinking?
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And the truth is, we'd actually not be thinking about anything.
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It's a very fair question.
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I'm not lying.
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I'm really not thinking about anything.
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We've literally had this fight.
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We've had this fight.
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Yeah, we have that's not possible.
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I remember you saying it's not possible that you're not thinking something.
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And you're like, oh, it is.
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It is possible.
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It is true.
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I I'm really just sitting here.
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I want to be screaming.
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That's what I'm thinking.
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There's been so many.
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We would look like we might have wisdom, but it's really not there.
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I am literally just sitting here.
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I was looking over here.
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So let's pull it together.
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This is pretty whimsical right here.
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So I truly love what you guys have all just said.
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I think it's good.
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I'm just gonna circle us back around for just a minute.
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And what made me think about when we were just just having that um moment is in 1 Corinthians 13, where it does talk, it's that uh special passage that you hear at almost every wedding um, where it says love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not dis it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
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Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
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It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
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And to go to what you're saying there is if you are in love with your husband, that's what you feel, even if there might not be thinking about anything.
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Right, that and you even said it, that that love ties that all together.
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It's all about love.
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It's all about love.
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It always protects, my husband protects me, it always trusts, we trust each other, and always hopes, we believe and dream together, and it always perseveres.
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We're gonna always rise above the next thing.
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I have been encouraged by that.
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So good.
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I know, I know.
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So that's what makes it.
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That's really good.
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That's really good.
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Yeah, good stuff.
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The um the idea that you can um try to take a marriage or a relationship and pick all these little things out, they're definitely gonna come up.
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They're definitely gonna be like, I'm just was trying to get inside your head and think about you, you know, yeah, versus I'm believing that you're for my good and I'm for your good.
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Yeah.
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Um, our favorite book that we talk about, Love and Respect, he calls it goodwill in marriage.
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Oh.
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Just giving each other the benefit of the doubt is so powerful because the assumption is we are the same team and we are heading in the same direction, but just normal life of living with another person is going, things are gonna come up.
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We're not the same person, we're a balance of each other.
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So to not get hung up on things that don't matter.
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But very good.
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Okay, I have another one.
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Um we are all in a season of launching kids, we call it.
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Um, the call the quiet house sometimes on this podcast.
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We call it emptiness, some people call it emptiness.
00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:48.799
We are not experiencing much emptiness currently, but that's a different thing.
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:52.639
I don't feel qualified to give advice on that right yet.
00:12:53.120 --> 00:12:54.000
That's been another year.
00:12:54.559 --> 00:12:56.320
Yes, we're we're heading in the right direction.
00:12:56.480 --> 00:13:03.600
In another year, we're heading in the right direction, but um, but even in college, they come back, they come back for visits and they bring like 10 friends with them.
00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:04.000
Sure.
00:13:04.320 --> 00:13:07.919
I have put more air mattresses and sleeping bags all over my house.
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:10.399
Like, oh, spring break, is that your house?
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:11.600
This is your house moments.
00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:16.559
So, okay, um, in this season, there's less daily demand on our kids.
00:13:16.799 --> 00:13:22.080
So, how are each of the couples, each of us, um, you guys can answer first.
00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:24.879
How are we being intentional with that time together?
00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:28.159
Are we using our quiet house time to connect?
00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:29.600
Like, give us a little report card.
00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:30.000
Yeah.
00:13:30.159 --> 00:13:31.120
That's what I want to know.
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:34.639
What's how are we doing on the quiet house part?
00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:37.200
I think it's pretty good.
00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:38.799
Dan looks very perplexed.
00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:40.320
No, no, thank you.
00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:52.960
Yeah, no, it's I think you have your own stuff and then and then your your part your spouse has their own stuff, and then there's like Venn diagram that and so you get together to do that little thing in the middle.
00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:53.279
Yeah.
00:13:53.519 --> 00:13:54.639
Every once in a while.
00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:56.559
And uh that that seems to work.
00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:57.200
So it's quiet.
00:13:58.960 --> 00:14:00.960
Yeah, so it's quiet apart, but you know, we're gonna.
00:14:01.360 --> 00:14:04.159
So I I'm pretty sure you you all like to go on walks.
00:14:04.480 --> 00:14:04.799
We do.
00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:05.360
We do.
00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:12.000
Well, we've just started doing a little more walking because they have built these massive sidewalks on our outside of our house.
00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:14.720
Yes, and so it is amazing.
00:14:15.039 --> 00:14:22.240
We do still have one at home, but as soon as he goes to school, we're able to go out for a nice lengthy walk.
00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.000
And I don't know about you, but the walks Oh, the best.
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:30.240
You're getting exercise and you're getting talk time.
00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:30.879
Yeah, yeah.
00:14:31.279 --> 00:14:32.720
And you're getting on the same page.
00:14:32.879 --> 00:14:33.120
Yeah.
00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:39.200
And if you're frustrated, you can wave your arms and do all sorts of stuff, and we're just focusing on doing what we have to do.
00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:46.240
Craig Gerschel, have you heard him say that they've solved almost every major issue in their marriage while on a walk.
00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:46.559
Yeah.
00:14:46.720 --> 00:14:52.559
Like he's a pastor that like really advocates that married couples need to be walking.
00:14:52.639 --> 00:14:55.759
You're shoulder to shoulder, so you're not coming at each other.
00:14:56.240 --> 00:14:59.759
You're like, there's like we're both looking at the same direction.
00:15:00.240 --> 00:15:01.440
There's a whole thing with it.
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:01.759
Yeah.
00:15:01.919 --> 00:15:02.960
And I just I love it.
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:05.200
We're we're typically walking at Disney World.
00:15:05.600 --> 00:15:11.360
Yeah, but at the end of the day, walking is just it's it's something that I think we take for granted.
00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:11.679
Yeah.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:16.960
Walking with whether
you're dating or whether you're uh in marriage.
00:15:17.279 --> 00:15:19.360
I think walking is really a key.
00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:21.600
It sounds simple, but it sounds simple.
00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:26.159
We haven't tried just swimming together, like in the same direction.
00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:31.440
I don't know, maybe swimming is not it, but backstroke is yeah.
00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:32.559
Yes.
00:15:33.279 --> 00:15:37.120
I definitely view the same thing that you're saying with the walking.
00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:44.960
I think um there's been a lot of times and uh talking things out for me is very important.
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:59.120
And so by doing that and getting exercise, we talk about being like if you're walking on a beach or if you're able to do a nature hike or things, it's being in creation, being out there, and there's just your perspective changes.
00:15:59.440 --> 00:16:13.919
Um, so even something that could be irritating you or just kind of building tension kind of dissipates because you just realize it all just kind of goes away when you're when you go out there and stuff.
00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:15.039
So it's true.
00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:15.519
It's true.
00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:16.480
That's a great, great thing.
00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:17.919
What's our report card, babe?
00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:21.519
On how are we doing?
00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:22.320
I know you mentioned it.
00:16:22.399 --> 00:16:23.519
Well, I'm sorry, you did mention it.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:25.840
So you you were just saying that I feel like we're doing it.
00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:30.799
The two activities, like you have your things you want to do, I have mine, and then we meet up.
00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:40.879
Like whether that's dinners or like what would you say are some of the things that other than like walking, but are there other activities you guys like to I know you're a big board game.
00:16:41.120 --> 00:16:41.600
Yes, yeah.
00:16:41.919 --> 00:16:43.919
So sometimes that's a fun activity.
00:16:44.480 --> 00:16:45.840
Yeah, sometimes we do that.
00:16:46.000 --> 00:16:48.240
There's um we like movies.
00:16:48.559 --> 00:16:52.320
Yeah, movies occasionally, you know, and we like to discuss them afterwards.
00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:54.879
Yeah, or you know, for days, yeah.
00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:57.360
Sometimes like I'm still unpacking.
00:16:57.440 --> 00:16:58.799
What in the world happened to that maybe?
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:02.000
But we do we do the theme parks quite a bit.
00:17:02.320 --> 00:17:02.399
Yeah.
00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:10.160
I mean, that's kind of our escape because it it we can't work there, we can't like it's it's like permission to it's true, yeah.
00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:12.480
It's it's permission to just not think about heavy stuff.
00:17:13.039 --> 00:17:14.559
Whimsical, yeah, for sure.
00:17:14.799 --> 00:17:15.200
For sure.
00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:16.400
It is, yeah.
00:17:16.640 --> 00:17:16.960
Love
it.
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:18.240
Yeah, that's a physical.
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:25.200
Even if we're not we're not really even doing that many rides or anything, we're mostly just walking, but just having the environment and those things.
00:17:25.519 --> 00:17:29.200
Yeah, we're eating and eating dinners is also a bad thing, too.
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:32.240
Yeah, so we've been actually, I wanted to give a little shout out.
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:41.599
We've been like for years, we were so practical with the kids' activities, and even if we were going to the same game, a lot of times we were bringing this kid and meeting up or something.
00:17:41.839 --> 00:17:49.440
Yeah, we've really tried to like even run errands together and just be together rather than I'm gonna stay home and do this and do this.
00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:53.359
Yes, we're trying to like we we have a funny story.
00:17:53.519 --> 00:17:56.640
I think it was like maybe our 10th anniversary.
00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:09.759
We had to stop and get gas on the way out of town, and I stayed, we we had left the you know, kids were with the sitter or my mom or something, but um we Dan pulls up and he's like, I'm gonna run in and get something to drink inside the little 7-Eleven.
00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:12.960
And I just sat in the car and he leans in and he goes, You can come with me.
00:18:13.039 --> 00:18:14.480
Oh there's no kids I can go.
00:18:14.880 --> 00:18:16.960
Or we're used to like one parent just sat in the car.
00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:18.160
Like, I didn't even think about it.
00:18:18.240 --> 00:18:19.440
I was just I was like, Huh.
00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:22.319
Yeah, we held hands and walked through the 7-Eleven.
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:24.160
Like this is that's true.
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.880
It's so many years of one parent has to stay in the car.
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:27.680
That's very true.
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:29.039
You're not unbuckling all those kids.
00:18:29.519 --> 00:18:30.480
This is new insight for me.
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:32.160
Because I do stay in the car.
00:18:32.400 --> 00:18:34.480
I think I really this is life-changing.
00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:35.519
I may need to start coming in.
00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:37.599
Come to the grocery store.
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:38.880
Yes, come to the grocery store.
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:39.839
Are you the driver?
00:18:40.160 --> 00:18:40.720
You come up.
00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:41.920
That's my parents are 80.
00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:42.640
I am the driver.
00:18:42.880 --> 00:18:51.200
And they, my dad drives the my mom, it's close to the door, she does the Publix run, and then he comes back and gets her with the groceries, and it's a whole thing.
00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:53.599
If you're looking at speed, that's better.
00:18:54.079 --> 00:18:54.240
Speed.
00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:55.680
Speed, it's that way.
00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:58.480
It's it's like their routine, so she doesn't have to walk as well.
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:00.960
It's quicker, but if you're looking for a lot of people.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:15.119
Well, I think you bring up a good point about just the the idea of when your kids are younger and things, you are in a divide and conquer mentality because your time is limited between activities, work demands.
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:19.119
I mean, a lot of times when your kids are young, you're in your busiest season of work.
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:22.400
If you're a volunteer, you do a lot of volunteer activities.
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:24.319
And so it's just it all compounds.
00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:44.000
And so when you d do start kind of settling out and the kids are not at home, and now you have this quiet time, I think it it takes a little time to get used to there's an adjustment, getting a rhythm, getting that back um where you are doing the errands together and you know, making that intentional time together.
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:47.440
Because you know, you get you kind of get caught up in doing it all on your own.
00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:50.400
But you literally can go, oh, we can do that together.
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:53.440
Yeah, it's like you're just those habits, making new habits.
00:19:53.519 --> 00:19:55.119
I guess hit us with another one, Dr.
00:19:55.599 --> 00:19:56.480
Another question.
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:04.400
Um, if you could tell your younger married self to do some something differently or better, what would you share?
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:08.720
In marriage specifically, or parent marriage or I would say more things better.
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:09.359
Yeah, yeah.
00:20:09.599 --> 00:20:10.480
Younger married self.
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.759
Younger married self.
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:13.279
You were pretty much perfect, Dan.
00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:21.200
So I think you're uh this question is this question is um that's I would say there's this guy named Tim.
00:20:21.279 --> 00:20:22.240
You need to go talk to him.
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:22.559
Yeah.
00:20:23.119 --> 00:20:24.160
I'm pretty intentional.
00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:27.119
Tim was intentional for sure.
00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:27.759
Yeah.
00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:28.799
That's a hard one.
00:20:29.039 --> 00:20:29.599
That's a hard one.
00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:32.960
Can we think of anything that we wish they could change, or maybe about ourselves?
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:39.599
Like, I definitely had a lot of hang hangry fights.
00:20:40.079 --> 00:20:40.880
Hangry fights.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:41.279
Oh, yeah.
00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:43.119
Eat eat before arguing.
00:20:43.359 --> 00:20:44.480
Yes, before, yeah.
00:20:44.720 --> 00:20:53.279
I needed some I I did develop some better like just understanding that this was not a me versus you thing.
00:20:53.599 --> 00:21:01.279
Like Yeah, I think it is true that I mean, because hangry to me means I I clam up and I don't talk as much.
00:21:01.680 --> 00:21:03.519
But which does not
be friends?
00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.480
That doesn't mix well.
00:21:04.720 --> 00:21:04.960
No.
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:10.960
Yeah, so I was waiting for you to say what hangry was for me, but you you chose the high road, which I appreciate.
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:11.599
Yeah.
00:21:12.319 --> 00:21:15.200
Well, her hangry is very different from mine, and they don't go together well.
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:16.480
So that's basically what I'm saying.
00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:22.240
So eat something before you talk about it is basically uh I think that's a very good point.
00:21:22.640 --> 00:21:23.119
Have breakfast first.
00:21:25.440 --> 00:21:25.599
Yeah.
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:28.880
Well, you had some on the last podcast, y'all need to go back and watch.
00:21:29.039 --> 00:21:31.519
The these guys have some great insight in that.
00:21:31.599 --> 00:21:37.839
But you mentioned wisdom's about um not like late at night or when you're compromised.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:41.359
Like you had like your prime time that you both want to talk.
00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:45.279
And so you're finding that balance and so thinking about this question.
00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:46.799
Yeah.
00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:49.839
Now that we're doing more of these walks together, yeah.
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:59.359
I think I would tell myself that if we could figure out a walk together, that if we're going to have disagreements or maybe an argument.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:02.400
Or to have them outside of the house.
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:03.680
Have them on the walk.
00:22:03.920 --> 00:22:04.160
Okay.
00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:05.839
Make the house peace.
00:22:06.079 --> 00:22:06.559
That's neat.
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:07.200
And exciting.
00:22:08.079 --> 00:22:08.799
Maybe it's an idea.
00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:09.200
I don't know.
00:22:09.440 --> 00:22:16.480
I know in the past I remember you all sharing about how you deal with disagreements, and I know you guys were big textures at one point.
00:22:16.720 --> 00:22:21.519
Oh yes, we didn't all financial discussions over email years.
00:22:22.079 --> 00:22:24.880
But uh because it was too charged in person.
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:29.039
So have a have do it on the walk and have a kind barrier.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:31.839
These are our like trips.
00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:33.519
Make sure you bring something along.
00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:38.079
Life-changing and this is this is you guys are giving the life-changing advice today.
00:22:38.240 --> 00:22:39.279
Uh it goes back to love.
00:22:39.359 --> 00:22:42.640
Yeah, you need to love your spouse and uh try to do your best.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:43.440
That's all you can do.
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:45.519
Serving them well, thinking of them before yourself.
00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:46.480
Look at yourself.
00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:47.359
Yeah, that's right.
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:48.000
I love it.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:48.559
I love it.
00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:50.160
All right, do you got another good one?
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:52.559
Yes, I'll kind of close us out with this question.
00:22:52.960 --> 00:22:57.759
Um it gonna goes back into our theme of wisdom and whimsy.
00:22:58.160 --> 00:23:03.039
And, you know, you've you've kind of shared already, Tim, um, a verse that means a lot to you.
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:13.920
So it's kind of toss up here if you want to share more on the wisdom side, which would be a scripture that you just kind of anchor in, or on the whimsy side, like what are the ways that you just find that joy?
00:23:14.079 --> 00:23:19.680
Um, and maybe even share a story where you've, you know, it's been hard to find that joy.
00:23:19.759 --> 00:23:21.759
Like there's when there is a challenge, you know.
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:34.640
I mean, yes, we want to be fun and things, but when there is something that's going on that maybe it's hard to find that whimsy, how do you how do you search for that and and find that other than writing a great short story that you did?
00:23:35.039 --> 00:23:36.880
So, but what are some things that you can do?
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:41.519
And then what are some things that we can do as couples that will find that whimsy together?
00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:43.359
Multiple questions.
00:23:43.920 --> 00:23:45.279
Okay, so recap recap.
00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:46.400
Okay, recap.
00:23:46.480 --> 00:23:52.559
I'm sorry, my buffer is um choose if you want to share a verse or something on the wisdom side.
00:23:53.759 --> 00:24:03.759
Wisdom or whimsy, and then if we go in the wisdom whimsy side of things, um, what is something that we can be doing as couples to create more whimsy or create that.
00:24:04.799 --> 00:24:06.720
Dan, do you have any thoughts?
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:12.720
I was just trying to think like the closing like wisdom or whimsy on that.
00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:23.440
Well, I'm not so sure about wisdom, but on the on the whimsy side, I think it is important to find what brings you joy as a couple.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:24.160
That's good.
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:24.400
Yeah.
00:24:24.720 --> 00:24:27.920
And uh common ground on the I know for us we love the water.
00:24:28.160 --> 00:24:35.359
We love being on a boat, we like to see the sunset on a boat, we like the beach, we like some of those things.
00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:36.240
Water pools.
00:24:36.480 --> 00:24:44.799
We still have a sun at the house, but a good friend, a good friend of ours has um spicy Saturdays, and uh would love to have that at some point.
00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:53.920
And uh what is oh spicy Saturdays, Dan is so innocent, Dan is so innocent.
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:56.960
But that's that's once the kids are completely out of the house.
00:24:57.759 --> 00:24:58.400
Okay, okay, gotcha.
00:24:58.559 --> 00:24:59.839
And PG purchase.
00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:06.160
But okay, but at the end of the day, I would just say that you need to find what brings you both joy very much.
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:10.480
Lean into that, and sometimes that costs a little bit of money.
00:25:10.720 --> 00:25:14.400
Um we're on this earth for a very short period of time.
00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:18.720
So enjoy each other's company, serving the Lord together, having fun.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:19.359
Right.
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:24.240
And um, yeah, so that would be my that's a great that's a great summary.
00:25:24.480 --> 00:25:45.759
Yes, I'm uh you might have more things to um add and things, but I wanted to share that brings um reminds me of you know, as you've always shared with our our marriage small group and things that if you you know you need to invest in your marriage when you're younger, so that when you are older, you're gonna have that rich marriage.
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:50.160
And you all you give the illustration of the holding hands, so you want to share that?
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:51.440
Yes, I love that image.
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:55.119
Yeah, so we'd we would always start off the small group or several times.
00:25:55.279 --> 00:26:02.799
We started it off with this picture of a couple that's been married for 60 years, walking along the beach holding hands.
00:26:03.759 --> 00:26:13.359
And the thought is everybody desire, oh, what a nice older couple enjoying each other's company, holding hands, walking along the beach.
00:26:13.680 --> 00:26:19.119
Well, if you're not holding hands now, walking along the beach, you're probably not gonna be holding hands later.
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:19.599
Right.
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:23.039
Yeah, so uh it's important to do those little things now.
00:26:23.359 --> 00:26:23.680
Yeah.
00:26:24.079 --> 00:26:24.400
I love that.
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:26.480
Let me hold my spouse's hand right now.
00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:27.599
That's so sweet.
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:29.920
He practices what he preaches, yeah.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:33.119
I don't, I don't can't top that.
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:34.079
No, that's good.
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:34.880
That's really good.
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:36.960
No, no, no.
00:26:37.200 --> 00:26:37.839
It was wonderful.
00:26:38.000 --> 00:26:38.480
It was wonderful.
00:26:38.640 --> 00:27:04.319
I was just gonna just the wisdom and Windsor piece is is wisdom is not necessarily always representative of um being like Tim referenced being the smartest one in the room or doing that, but you had just a really do you remember you were sharing with me about what wisdom actually is when we were reading through Proverbs and Ecclesiastes and that kind of thing.
00:27:04.400 --> 00:27:11.680
It was like the Oh, like because Solomon's kind of accredited with it and he was trying to be the smartest in the room and it wasn't enough to satisfy him.
00:27:12.960 --> 00:27:24.160
It's gotta be applied in a way that honors God and is about things that are eternal and that are fruitful, not just to to get to say you're the smartest one in the room, you know, kind of thing.
00:27:24.480 --> 00:27:27.920
Um that purpose, the purpose of life and all of that.
00:27:28.079 --> 00:27:38.640
So I just I think I hope our message has been um even with the fun QA, this was a great bonus, bonus conversation from earlier.
00:27:38.799 --> 00:27:49.359
But um the purpose of this is to encourage other people that we will have that contagious excitement and make marriage fun again, yeah.
00:27:49.759 --> 00:27:59.680
And um just invest well into that and um and you're enjoying things together, you're you're wanting good for each other.
00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:08.960
So yeah, and I think I'm thinking about the wisdom a little bit more on I think sometimes we need to make sure that we have our guardrails in our marriages.
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:13.279
So have the fun, have the excitement, the whimsical things that you're doing.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:19.599
Um but you do need those guardrails, things that you commit to not doing.
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:27.599
And for instance, with me, I won't ride in a car with another female unless it's my spouse, unless there's two females in the vehicle.
00:28:27.759 --> 00:28:28.640
So there's accountability.
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:29.359
Right, right.
00:28:29.440 --> 00:28:33.839
You know, so I do think guardrails are super, super important, especially for younger couples.
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:34.240
Yeah.
00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:35.200
Uh getting started.
00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:37.759
Just go ahead and figure out figure out how you're gonna do that.
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:40.319
It doesn't have to be like an impossible thing.
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:43.839
You can figure out and find that out with with with your sp your spouse.
00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:45.920
What is uncomfortable or comfortable?
00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:47.119
Maybe that doesn't bother people.
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:49.680
So whatever works for you in that that regard.
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:58.319
But thinking it through, I mean, yeah, we we had to do this when the kids first got phones, we had to do this when they got more freedom or they started driving.
00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:05.119
You know, you have you start tight so that you don't find yourself like, well, there's the edge to this, you know.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:06.160
So I love it.
00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:07.119
I love it.
00:29:07.279 --> 00:29:10.480
You guys, I have loved having you guys here.
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:11.599
Thank you so much.
00:29:11.920 --> 00:29:31.440
As we kind of wrap things up, I wanted to um, because I I feel like just all the things that we've said, whether you are in a young season of marriage or in a, you know, a more mature season of marriage, you know, whatever season you're in, our verse for this season um just really applies where it's from Ecclesiastes 3:1.
00:29:31.680 --> 00:29:35.920
There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.
00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:44.400
And I think that that just pulls everything that we've said today just all together and to just um very grateful that you guys came on.
00:29:44.480 --> 00:29:45.119
It's been all right.
00:29:45.200 --> 00:29:45.519
It's worth it.
00:29:45.680 --> 00:29:46.559
Tim says it's worth it.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:47.119
It is worth it.
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:48.000
Tim says it's worth it.
00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:49.119
So much fun worth it.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:49.759
So good.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:50.640
So good.
00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:52.160
Guys, thank you so much.
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:53.359
You want to do the closing with us?
00:29:53.759 --> 00:29:55.680
As long as we get to hear the whimsical theme song at the end.
00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:56.480
Yes.
00:29:56.799 --> 00:29:57.039
Dan.
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:00.880
Dan did write that theme song.
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:10.160
So if you want to hear that theme song, he has written a book and he's written the popular podcast Well Grounded Podcast theme song.
00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:11.119
Well, thank you, Tim.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:11.759
We're so proud of you.
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:16.240
So there you go.
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:16.799
Good times.
00:30:17.039 --> 00:30:17.359
So good.
00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:17.920
Good times.
00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:25.519
Well, as we wrap up things today, we always want you to be refreshed, be encouraged, and stay well grounded.