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I'm 57 years old, and i've never been happier about who I am.
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I love our belovedness and our goodness.
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You went really hard for a goal.
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It didn't quite happen.
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Yeah.
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And you cheered on everybody who got it, and I love that.
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I love women who can just support other women.
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Desire isn't a bad thing.
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It's a way to, say, I can want things." There's nothing un-Christian- Yeah about dreams.
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Well, and how often when, when we're achieving, we inspire others- Yes to think bigger too.
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And like I, said, God wants us to be big.
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And when we have more for ourselves, we're able to give more.
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The Vibrant Life Podcast.
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I'm life coach Kelly Tibbits, and each week I'll be here to encourage and equip you with the tools you need to grow in self-awareness and invest your best energy in your dreams and your purpose.
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I believe self-awareness changes everything.
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Let's get started.
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Friends Welcome to the Live a Vibrant Life podcast.
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I'm so glad you're here today.
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I'm introducing you to one of my new friends.
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Lindsay Please take a few minutes, introduce yourself, tell us about what you do, and how you inspire other people to show up as their best selves.
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I am Lindsay LaValley live in Manchester, New Hampshire, and I am an awesome auntie, and I get to hang out with my mom every Monday afternoon, and a wife to a fabulous man who really honors me, and I'm a Pink Cadillac Mary Kay sales director, which is the last thing I ever thought I would do.
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We know when God has a plan, you listen and, you rock and roll forward.
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I love that so much.
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How you changed my life was with the idea take the time to do your hair and makeup, and I'm growing into that version of me that shows up every day.
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It's so much more than skincare and makeup.
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It's really about I love helping women to take time for themselves.
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I have so many women sit down with me, just like not sure necessarily what is gonna be happening, and it's time for them to relax.
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Mm.
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And so many women, like emotions might come up in that session,'cause how often are we just going from thing to thing to thing?
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And when we actually sit down and take
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time for ourselves, it's like, can feel a little bit intimidating.
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So some people totally come in and just play with skincare and makeup but also I just love how it's so much more than, than skincare and makeup, and- Um, I, I started my business and was not expecting, um...
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You know, I, I was a gal who didn't like the color pink, asked if the pink Cadillac came in another color, took my eye makeup off with lotion.
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So I was a very unlikely gal to be- Yeah driving a pink Cadillac.
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And I just love how it, it's so i- intertwined with personal development and my faith and everything.
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And then aside from business, I'm an awesome auntie, and I spend a lot of time with my mom, and I'm married to a really awesome guy, which is totally part of God's blessing and just following His will and not my own.
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And I'm, um, yeah, just blessed to love my life every day, so most days.
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Yes, you're very multifaceted, and- Most days.
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Yes you're fabulous.
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I love learning from you, and that's why I reached out.
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You had put onto Instagram one of those get ready with me videos, and I was like,"Yes, there's so much overlap between what you do and what I do." But when I went and spent some time with you, the big idea was like,"Let's get camera ready." And I left that night feeling like, yeah, this is what confidence looks like.
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It's not like I'm wearing a ton of makeup, but I'm my best version of me- Yeah and that's what I learn every time I go to your Instagram.
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I, I love how you show up.
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I love your authenticity.
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And then we're just gonna give a shout-out.
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I loved your dad.
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I loved being able to work with him.
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Love your mom.
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Yes.
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Um, and so fun to get to hang out today.
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So my program was created f- again, sort of a download, I think, from God.
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Our faith system connects us as well.
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Um, that every single person was created to live an abundant life.
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That's literally what Jesus says,"I came that you would have a life and a life more abundant." And all my years in the nonprofit world, in church work, I saw a lot of exhausted, overwhelmed, depleted people who forgot there was ever a dream dropped into their heart.
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And so I think just having examples like you of you might not even know that dream is possible,'cause nobody dropped it in front of you yet, but when you take one
brave step, all of a sudden you get more excited about what's possible in the future.
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So tell us a little bit more about what are some of the dreams you've accomplished, and then maybe we'll talk a little bit about dreams you still have in your heart.
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Yeah.
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I mean, you're getting me emotional right now already like a few minutes into this podcast, which is probably a good sign because it's, it's something that is...
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I'm so passionate about.
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God made us to be big, and how often do we shrink ourselves or make ourselves small or apologize for taking up space?
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And my biggest goal that I've accomplished is loving the skin I'm in.
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And I am so grateful for that because I'm somebody who...
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You know, I grew up with a great house, and there was no necessarily, you know, reason for this.
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Had great parents.
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Anybody who knew my dad, Alan Peterson, yes, the best.
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And so I just hated the skin I was in.
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Y- I, um, and I m- um, masked that with alcohol.
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Mm.
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You know, I just- drinking was the way that I felt comfortable in my skin.
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Mm-hmm.
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And so when I was in my early 20s, I got sober, and, um, have just worked on myself since then.
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The last, um, 20 years almost has been a personal development journey.
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So my biggest accomplishment is loving the skin I'm in and not wanting to be different than who I am.
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I mean, some days I'm like,"I wish I could smooth this out a little bit more." Um, but besides that, as far as prof- professionally, uh, you know, earned the pink Cadillac, which is a big accomplishment in, in Mary Kay.
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I've actually earned two of them, and I'm on my way to earning my third right now.
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We trade them in every two years and get a brand-new one.
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So I haven't had a car payment in a while.
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So that's pretty nice.
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Um, but I also love empowering women to be their best selves.
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Yeah.
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Like, watching people on my team, watching my customers grow and becoming who they wanna be, that's some of my biggest successes for sure.
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And that's what I'm seeing from the outside.
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Like, I love the authenticity you show up with.
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And we have a very similar story.
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I had acne when I was younger, and so I don't think I ever really loved the skin I was in for a long time.
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And finding my way into the coaching world, that was one of the most powerful coaches that I worked with who helped me to say like,"Hey, you know what?
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This body might not look exactly what I want it to, but it birthed three children.
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And hey, could I just love that I have a body that works?" And I agree with you.
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I'm 57 years old, and I'm like,"I love the skin I'm in." Okay.
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I've never been happier about who I am, and I love that the outside noise isn't what's getting in anymore.
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It's like an internal belief of, you know- Right our, our belovedness and our goodness.
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And so what are some of the dreams you're still dreaming about?
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Because I...
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another thing that I loved is that you went really hard for a goal.
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It didn't quite happen.
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Yeah.
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And you cheered on everybody who got it, and I love that.
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I love women who can just support other women and know that, like, what we want, that idea of, like, desire isn't a bad thing.
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It's t- a motivating way to, like, say,"I, I can want things." Like, there's nothing un-Christian- Yeah about dreams.
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So yeah.
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Yeah.
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Tell me some of the things you're dreaming about.
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Well, and how often when, when we're achieving, we inspire others- Yes to think bigger too.
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And like I, like I said, God, God wants us to be big.
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And when we have more for ourselves, we're able to give more.
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Mm-hmm.
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And I try to stay grounded in that, um, being of service- Yeah attitude and mindset.
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And I was just, uh, meditating and praying prior to this, jumping on this podcast, and I was realizing, you know, like right now, this month, it's n- it hasn't been, like, a great month in my business.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like,"Okay, let me pause." And I was actually pausing for this.
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Mm-hmm.
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Like, we don't know the different things that God puts in our path and why.
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Yeah.
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And I was pausing and getting my mind right for, for this, and that act of taking that time out made me realize other things.
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Yeah, it's all in alignment.
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Yeah.
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And made me
realize that- I haven't been in that, like, service mindset.
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I've felt more of a pressure mindset.
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And so this is allowing me to stop and pause and...
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So one of my biggest goals, and it's all about who we become in the process of achieving- Right that goal.
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Yep.
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Like you said, some people think it can be self-serving or whenever I go for a big goal, I watch other people on my team reach bigger for themselves and give- Yeah them, give themselves that permission And so a big goal I've had since I started was to go on these top director trips Yeah at Mary Kay.
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They are five-star, all-expense paid.
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Yeah.
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Plus they give you spending money.
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It's insane.
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And so I was reaching for that.
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Our fiscal year ended June 30th, and I was reaching for the top trip to Switzerland, and I very publicly fell on my face and did not earn the goal.
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But I think that's really powerful to share, too.
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Showing people that you can have, quote-unquote,"failures,"'cause nothing about that- Yeah was a failure.
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But you can have, quote-unquote,"failures" and it's okay.
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It's okay to try.
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It's okay to keep going.
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It's a, it's okay to fall down and get back up.
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And, and like I've said all along, it's, it's about who we become in the process.
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So this next year, the top trip is to Rome.
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Yes.
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And so I have until June 30th to earn that.
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I'm getting the chills, so we're, we're just manifesting this with you.
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And I want to say, as someone who's standing beside you while you were doing it, all I saw was inspiration, right?
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The breath of God coming out into the world of you.
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Like, let's just decide to be these big women and say,"I want something huge." And, you know, I just believe for you, like, you're still gonna get to Switzerland someday, but yes, let's just decide now.
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Everybody who's listening, we're all gonna send our energy to Lindsay- And- and get her to Rome.
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And thank you for saying that, too, because as I'm making these reels or talking about it, like, there's a big part of me that feels silly.
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Of course.
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You know?
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The...
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I'm like,"Okay, are we gonna be cringe right now?" And sure, some people probably saw them and thought,"Oh, she's cringey," or whatever.
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People have their opinions.
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But then there's this whole other side of it, of, of these women just cheering each other on, so.
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And reminding each other.
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Like, what I l- found the coaching world, what I loved is, like, wow, these are all examples to me of what's possible.
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Yeah.
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And I didn't have pictures of successful, powerful women growing up.
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I just didn't.
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I was surrounded by them, but they kept making themselves small- Yes and not wanting too much, and not being too much.
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So one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about is, on one of your reels you were talking about accepting that the challenge of new things, like learning new things, doing new things, is that it's not easy.
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So this is my fifth career pivot.
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I've gone from being a teacher, to a children's pastor, to a lead pastor, to a life coach, still a life coach, and now I'm a director of an organization, and starting something new again.
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Man, it's hard to just learn new things.
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Even a different website than I use, having to learn how to do that.
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Mm.
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A lot of us, without people inspiring us, forget that the price we pay to become our full, big self is we have to learn new things, and it's not easy.
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So can you remember one of the things you've recently done where it just was challenging, it was hard, you had to learn how to do something new, and kinda made through it enough to say,"Well, that was worth it"?
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Anything come to mind?
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Yeah.
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I mean, I had an experience recently.
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I think I This is what I was talking about in one of those reels where it's, I went on a trip, and then I came back, and my momentum just wasn't there.
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Right.
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I just was not feeling like working.
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I wasn't feeling in flow.
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It just felt like a trudge.
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It felt hard.
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And I'm also learning new now how to really build leaders in my business in a way that's basically giving away my job.
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Mm-hmm.
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Like, allowing women to stand in the position I have now, and that's something I love is there's, like, no ceiling.
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Everybody can rise to the top.
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Yes.
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And- And that is life.
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That's true.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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And how often, when we're kids learning something new, and we fall off the bike, we are not worried about looking stupid or- Right looking dumb.
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We just get back on- Absolutely the bike and don't give up.
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Right.
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And as adults, for whatever reason, we Like, our brains are designed to keep us safe.
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Mm-hmm.
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And so your brain can sometimes be your worst enemy- Right and will just fight you.
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And so I really work to keep myself right in prayer, meditation, working out, um, reading positive things, affirmations.
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And it's all things that I've learned over time and added to my routine here and there.
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It wasn't like I jumped into it and was like,"Okay, I'm gonna do affirmations.
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I'm gonna go to the gym three times a week.
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I'm gonna, you know, wake up at- Right at 6:00 AM." Like, it wasn't like I did it all at once.
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It's learning, falling down.
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Okay, let's add this.
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Let's try this.
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Yeah.
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Let's do that.
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And it just created success over time.
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And you're a fan of the saying I've been seeing a lot on TikTok and Instagram of, like,"The hard part about discipline is kind of every day looks the same, but if you don't have any discipline, every year looks the same." Yeah.
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That has kind of spoken to you as well?
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Definitely.
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Definitely.
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And i- if you follow me, my life might look sexy and cool and fun and everything, and it is.
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I've been able to build- a life that's so beautiful.
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Yes.
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And I get to travel and have a man I'm madly in love with, and get to spend Monday afternoons with my mom on our Monday afternoons.
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Yes.
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Right.
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And not have to get up at 7:30 and- Right rush to work and e- everything.
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But I love that saying because the day-to-day of my life is quite boring.
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It's the same day in, day out.
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It feels a little bit like Groundhog Day.
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But I know by sticking to that routine, sticking to the promise and what God has put on my heart, and- Yeah having a little bit of that grind, it allows me to have that life that's beyond my wildest dreams.
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And that's what discipline does for us, right?
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It, like, helps us to create sort of those boundaries.
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So, um- Sometimes the opposite of that is this belief that the right thing is just gonna feel easy, and I appreciate people like you that show up and you're like,"Didn't really wanna do it- but I did it." So you talk about 10-minute actions can move you out of a rut.
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So you get back from the event, all the adrenaline's gone, you're kinda tired.
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How did you decide to start doing 10-minute small actions?
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And you used a metaphor of like it's like a train.
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It has to start, and it's going kinda slow.
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Yeah.
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What even inspired you to try taking 10-minute actions, and where have you seen it show up as something of value?
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'Cause 10 minutes can feel like- Yeah well, that's not even worth doing, but it obviously is.
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Yeah, and nothing's ever my idea.
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Like Same.
00:15:06.354 --> 00:15:08.043
There are no- nothing new under the sun.
00:15:08.053 --> 00:15:10.063
We're just interpreting it- Oh through our lens.
00:15:10.083 --> 00:15:10.734
Absolutely.
00:15:10.774 --> 00:15:13.573
Uh, I don't know if you're familiar with Chris- Clifton StrengthsFinder's test.
00:15:13.594 --> 00:15:14.163
Oh, yes.
00:15:14.214 --> 00:15:14.464
Yes.
00:15:14.634 --> 00:15:17.673
Um, but ideation is number 34 on my list.
00:15:17.683 --> 00:15:18.543
It is last.
00:15:18.553 --> 00:15:20.173
Ideation- I think it might be my last, too.
00:15:20.663 --> 00:15:22.083
I do not have any ideas.
00:15:22.083 --> 00:15:22.724
I- I don't either.
00:15:22.724 --> 00:15:23.604
I'm all input.
00:15:23.624 --> 00:15:26.484
How can I take from you and make my own little baby out of this idea and that idea?
00:15:26.484 --> 00:15:27.104
So I love that.
00:15:27.104 --> 00:15:27.354
Yeah.
00:15:27.354 --> 00:15:27.604
Do...
00:15:27.604 --> 00:15:29.144
I- we'll have to talk about your StrengthsFinders in a minute.
00:15:29.144 --> 00:15:36.413
So someone else said it- Mm-hmm but you took it and you applied it to your own life of this train doesn't start off going- No 70, 100 miles an hour.
00:15:36.423 --> 00:15:36.524
Exactly.
00:15:36.524 --> 00:15:37.844
It takes a little- Yeah little step.
00:15:38.344 --> 00:15:52.903
And I remember when I was on the couch grieving after the loss of my dad, and I had a national sales director say to me,"Lindsay, I am so glad- Mm I continued to work during those tough seasons of my life." Yeah.
00:15:52.974 --> 00:15:58.464
And she said it, it didn't look perfect- Mm-hmm but I still got in the office and I did a
little.
00:15:58.474 --> 00:15:58.494
Yeah.
00:15:58.504 --> 00:16:00.063
I did what I could for that day.
00:16:00.333 --> 00:16:08.453
So something that I implement regularly, uh, because the things that are gonna move the me- needle the most, I never feel like doing them.
00:16:08.524 --> 00:16:09.063
Absolutely.
00:16:10.894 --> 00:16:11.214
Ever.
00:16:11.254 --> 00:16:14.364
They are often the hardest things to do- Yeah in my business.
00:16:14.453 --> 00:16:14.634
Yeah.
00:16:14.714 --> 00:16:16.484
But I know that I need to do it.
00:16:16.494 --> 00:16:26.563
So on days that I feel like the momentum just isn't th- there, the train's been parked at the station, I will say to myself,"I'm just gonna go in my office for 10 minutes.
00:16:26.563 --> 00:16:39.673
I'm gonna sit there, and I'm gonna do this income-producing activity for 10 minutes," and then give myself permission that if after 10 minutes- Yeah I do not feel like working anymore, I have the permission, I can leave my office.
00:16:39.994 --> 00:16:44.663
And what always happens is after 10 minutes, I'm in flow.
00:16:44.813 --> 00:16:45.134
Yeah.
00:16:45.224 --> 00:16:48.854
So it's just about getting there, sitting down, and starting to take action.
00:16:49.053 --> 00:16:53.313
Yep, and the starting is the hardest part, and that's where that discipline of, like, you write it down, you schedule it.
00:16:53.313 --> 00:16:55.543
You know I'm gonna sit in this chair at this time.
00:16:55.543 --> 00:16:58.673
And that's why people tend to do a little better when they have a partner at a gym.
00:16:58.703 --> 00:17:03.573
You go to the place, your brain knows why you're there, and someone else is there to co-cheer you on.
00:17:03.573 --> 00:17:10.173
So some of these little disciplines I've seen show up in your life are things like you're working out, the business actions like you said, and eating healthy.
00:17:10.173 --> 00:17:13.413
And what I loved about the day that you showed us, like,"Hey, you don't even have to buy a veggie tray.
00:17:13.413 --> 00:17:14.993
You can make it yourself," and then you came back on.
00:17:15.003 --> 00:17:15.923
I love your authenticity.
00:17:15.953 --> 00:17:19.124
And you're like-"People didn't really even eat it." But I bet you did.
00:17:19.223 --> 00:17:23.144
I bet having your fresh cut up vegetables the rest of the week was, like, massively a gift.
00:17:23.384 --> 00:17:26.064
So if someone's listening to us and they're like,"You know what?
00:17:26.084 --> 00:17:29.723
Right now I don't feel inspired to move towards that dream.
00:17:29.743 --> 00:17:39.403
Everything else in my life feels urgent, and it's sucking the energy of my life, and I don't have a day or a week, a month that I could do this, but I might have 10 minutes." Mm-hmm.
00:17:39.844 --> 00:17:48.703
What would be, and I wanna just, like, shout you out for this, you teaching me to do 10 minutes of get camera ready changed a lot for how I show up in life.
00:17:48.713 --> 00:17:48.723
Mm.
00:17:49.173 --> 00:17:53.163
Because it didn't take two hours, but I felt different when I was done.
00:17:53.183 --> 00:17:54.054
You're like, you know.
00:17:54.094 --> 00:17:56.604
So I encourage everybody, call Lindsay, get camera ready.
00:17:56.614 --> 00:17:56.634
Yeah.
00:17:56.804 --> 00:18:02.604
But what's like a, you know this woman who is sitting on the, on the couch, and her kids went off to college, and now she doesn't know what to do.
00:18:02.963 --> 00:18:12.193
Or she's been working in this non-profit, and people pay her in praise, but she doesn't have enough money, and she doesn't have enough time,'cause she doesn't put boundaries around her life to keep her home time her home time.
00:18:12.673 --> 00:18:17.473
Is there a simple 10-minute skill that you've ever done that you're like,"Well, that paid off.
00:18:17.493 --> 00:18:19.453
Those 10 minutes moved me forward"?
00:18:19.473 --> 00:18:23.233
Anything come to mind of just a small action step you'd inspire somebody to try?
00:18:23.894 --> 00:18:26.203
If something's been placed on your heart, it's for a reason.
00:18:26.243 --> 00:18:26.554
Yeah.
00:18:26.614 --> 00:18:35.443
And I love how you talk about just do that 10 minutes, because if we wanna start a business or do It, it is overwhelming- Yeah and you cannot do it.
00:18:35.443 --> 00:18:37.473
You have to break it into bite-sized chunks.
00:18:37.614 --> 00:18:37.824
Right.
00:18:37.844 --> 00:18:46.314
So if you are wanting to get more fit, literally set a timer on your phone for five minutes, walk five minutes away from your house.
00:18:46.324 --> 00:18:50.243
When the timer goes off, walk five minutes back to your house.
00:18:50.284 --> 00:18:50.503
Yeah.
00:18:50.503 --> 00:18:53.614
And then you've taken action towards getting fit.
00:18:53.894 --> 00:18:54.554
100%.
00:18:54.713 --> 00:18:56.273
And that is the whole thing, isn't it?
00:18:56.273 --> 00:18:59.874
And I have yet to meet somebody who was like,"Didn't appreciate my walk," right?
00:18:59.913 --> 00:19:02.483
Like- Yeah it's good for your mental health, it's good for your physical health.
00:19:02.673 --> 00:19:02.703
Mm-hmm.
00:19:02.713 --> 00:19:06.584
So we've talked a little bit about, you know, you inspired me to get camera ready.
00:19:06.584 --> 00:19:10.604
The other day you were saying you were beginning to picture future Lindsay.
00:19:10.844 --> 00:19:11.344
Mm.
00:19:11.763 --> 00:19:13.753
And you're like,"How does she show up?
00:19:14.003 --> 00:19:14.433
I know.
00:19:14.433 --> 00:19:16.104
I'm gonna add a little something.
00:19:16.104 --> 00:19:17.933
I'm gonna add these earrings." Mm-hmm.
00:19:17.933 --> 00:19:19.673
And remind me of who she is.
00:19:19.884 --> 00:19:21.903
How does it feel when you do something like that?
00:19:22.384 --> 00:19:25.544
Well, there's the saying,"Dress for the job you want." Yes.
00:19:26.044 --> 00:19:26.673
Yes.
00:19:26.703 --> 00:19:31.763
And I
know that I, I'm gonna be a million-dollar sales director one day.
00:19:31.763 --> 00:19:32.064
Yes, you are.
00:19:32.624 --> 00:19:37.463
And million-dollar sales directors show up looking sharp.
00:19:37.483 --> 00:19:41.064
They got the outfit, makeup's always on point, hair's always done.
00:19:41.334 --> 00:19:51.903
And I was just going to a girls' afternoon on a rainy day, crafting, and so it wouldn't have been appropriate to show up in dress pants or anything like that.
00:19:52.144 --> 00:19:57.183
But instead of just going in my sweats or just going in joggers, let's wear some cute pants.
00:19:57.183 --> 00:19:59.693
Let's wear, like, a sweatshirt that's elevated.
00:19:59.693 --> 00:20:04.673
Let's put some hoop earrings on, because I wanna dress for the job I want.
00:20:05.013 --> 00:20:09.903
And I saw some statistics recently, and I don't really like these, this statistic.
00:20:09.933 --> 00:20:10.203
Okay?
00:20:10.203 --> 00:20:11.534
This, like, isn't cute.
00:20:11.574 --> 00:20:16.784
I'm not saying women are, are, you know, you need makeup to be beautiful at all.
00:20:17.074 --> 00:20:27.243
But women who wear makeup make 20% to 30% more- And women who wear makeup, um, people trust them 20 to 30% more.
00:20:27.253 --> 00:20:27.513
Okay?
00:20:27.513 --> 00:20:32.374
It's, like, not a, like, cute statistic, but like you said, even if you can just take...
00:20:32.374 --> 00:20:34.413
I love teaching women a five-minute look.
00:20:34.503 --> 00:20:34.733
Yeah.
00:20:34.794 --> 00:20:38.203
It doesn't have to be a full glam, you know.
00:20:38.273 --> 00:20:41.763
And taking that five minutes for yourself also does something for you internally.
00:20:41.903 --> 00:20:43.304
And I think that's what it did for me, too.
00:20:43.304 --> 00:20:46.334
It helped me to elevate taking care of myself in this small way.
00:20:46.334 --> 00:20:50.144
And I know a few years ago, I have three amazing daughters, they're all adults, they're killing it in the world.
00:20:50.473 --> 00:20:53.074
They would all agree with you, like, good hair, good makeup, it does...
00:20:53.114 --> 00:20:57.413
You know, you get that little tiny bit of, like, forward movement,'cause you feel good about yourself.
00:20:57.473 --> 00:21:03.923
And so having a space in my bathroom that I'm like,"This is all for me." And I have just made my life about me right now.
00:21:03.923 --> 00:21:10.253
Like, I take a bath almost every single night with Epsom salts and battery-operated candles- Oh and just make the evening about me and my skincare.
00:21:10.483 --> 00:21:15.233
And then in the morning- I like it it's like just this little bit of my morning routine that elevates my day for me.
00:21:15.263 --> 00:21:20.584
And one of my favorite things I learned a few years ago is many of us have closets that are not our friends.
00:21:20.773 --> 00:21:28.523
So you put on these pants and this cute sweatshirt, and you liked Lindsay in it, versus putting it on and then the whole time you're kind of judging yourself.
00:21:28.523 --> 00:21:29.203
It's too tight.
00:21:29.203 --> 00:21:30.534
I shouldn't have bought it, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:30.534 --> 00:21:37.493
So what would it look like to take 10 minutes this weekend and say,"If something is in my closet, I like me when I'm wearing it.
00:21:37.564 --> 00:21:48.364
And if not, I can just bless it and let it go." Because we deserve lives where our makeup is in a place where we enjoy putting it on, our clothes reflect the life we want to live and that future version of us.
00:21:48.403 --> 00:21:52.213
And I just think we did not hear enough messages about this, at least I didn't.
00:21:52.243 --> 00:21:56.173
I grew up really Jesus first and yourself last and everyone else in between.
00:21:56.173 --> 00:21:58.453
Well, that's the opposite of what Jesus himself said.
00:21:59.094 --> 00:22:02.104
When he said,"Love the Lord your God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
00:22:02.124 --> 00:22:07.084
Love your neighbor as yourself," if you take that sentence apart, it all begins with loving yourself.
00:22:07.817 --> 00:22:14.347
And I think that's what you do really well when you show up, is you remind us, one, we're worth loving ourselves, but no one else can do that for us.
00:22:14.387 --> 00:22:17.327
Like, we have to show up and do that work ourselves.
00:22:17.337 --> 00:22:19.407
So- Gotta put the oxygen mask on first.
00:22:19.678 --> 00:22:20.157
100%.
00:22:20.198 --> 00:22:26.887
So you're saying there is a way to align with future her, and the job you want might be a job you create.
00:22:26.887 --> 00:22:29.897
A lot of people who listen to me, they're actually entrepreneurial like you and I are.
00:22:29.897 --> 00:22:32.938
We're creating that future version of ourselves.
00:22:33.137 --> 00:22:41.147
So anything else, whether it's journaling or these, like, intentional coffees you have with people, like, how do you stay aligned to the energy of future Lindsay?
00:22:41.627 --> 00:22:50.627
I have a sign on my computer right here that says,"Act like a Circle of Excellence director." And when I'm a Circle of Excellence director, I will have earned the top director trip.
00:22:50.978 --> 00:23:03.897
And so every day I'm like,"Okay, what would it take to act like a Circle of Excellence director?" If I'm at TJ Maxx on a Tuesday afternoon, I'm like,"Would th- this top person be at TJ Maxx on a Tuesday afternoon?
00:23:03.988 --> 00:23:04.367
No.
00:23:04.428 --> 00:23:24.268
Like, let's go to the coffee shop." You know, sometimes when I have a very busy day and I haven't gotten my list done'cause I've had a meeting or had to drive an hour or whatever, before I go home, I will pull over to a coffee shop and get my list done, even if it's just one or two things off my list so that I'm working on those income-producing activities.
00:23:24.288 --> 00:23:32.268
Or I'll pull over at the park before I go home and just crank on some things
before I step in the house,'cause we know there's so many distractions at home.
00:23:32.488 --> 00:23:32.518
Right.
00:23:32.607 --> 00:23:37.948
And you actually get home, and it's hard to then maybe focus on what's important to you- Yeah because there's all these urgent things.
00:23:37.948 --> 00:23:42.708
That's one of the things we talk about a lot in my coaching company, is the difference between what's important and what's urgent.
00:23:42.897 --> 00:23:45.117
And when something's important, it's because it's important to us.
00:23:45.298 --> 00:23:46.738
And I did not know that my whole life.
00:23:46.738 --> 00:23:50.498
I made urgency the deciding factor, not it's important to me.
00:23:50.498 --> 00:23:58.018
So if something's important but it's not urgent, you know, you need to go to the dentist, but you don't have a cavity, you need to bring the car in for the oil change, but the tire isn't deflated.
00:23:58.157 --> 00:24:02.647
If it's important and non-urgent, it has to be scheduled, and part of the schedule is the time and the place.
00:24:02.678 --> 00:24:08.167
And you just clearly said for so many women that space might not be in your house.
00:24:08.657 --> 00:24:08.778
Yes.
00:24:08.817 --> 00:24:13.488
You might need to go to a park or to a coffee shop in order to achieve that goal.
00:24:13.748 --> 00:24:16.748
And then just sometimes once we see it, we can't unsee it.
00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:20.809
There's no space in my home where that future version of me lives.
00:24:20.859 --> 00:24:23.920
I need to get outside of this house to reconnect with her.
00:24:24.240 --> 00:24:32.950
Um, so another sentence you said, and this'll be one of our last conversational topics, but you are building a life that you don't need a vacation from.
00:24:32.990 --> 00:24:37.869
And I don't know if you're surrounded with people like I am that work so hard for that two-week vacation.
00:24:38.509 --> 00:24:41.430
Sometimes they get sick at the beginning of it'cause they ran too hard.
00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:41.450
Mm.
00:24:41.740 --> 00:24:46.180
And again, going back to our faith, what God says is like,"Rest first." Mm.
00:24:46.250 --> 00:24:48.410
And then find the things that bring you joy.
00:24:48.420 --> 00:24:49.880
Get into that aligned energy.
00:24:49.910 --> 00:24:58.759
And the ease of working from aligned energy is so different than trying to work exhausted, depleted, overwhelmed.
00:24:58.769 --> 00:25:01.359
Like, take the coffee break, take the walk at the park.
00:25:01.609 --> 00:25:08.769
So h- what specific things have you done to create a life that you don't need a vacation from, you love waking up and being in this version of life?
00:25:09.809 --> 00:25:11.180
No is a complete sentence.
00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:12.289
Yes, yes.
00:25:12.299 --> 00:25:12.920
Say it again.
00:25:13.740 --> 00:25:15.960
Yes, no is a complete sentence.
00:25:16.250 --> 00:25:20.440
So I had to make some s- short-term sacrifices for some long-term gain.
00:25:20.450 --> 00:25:20.750
Yes.
00:25:20.819 --> 00:25:22.259
I was working in corporate America.
00:25:22.279 --> 00:25:27.509
I was working at an ad agency prior to Mary Kay, and I wanted to do something where I had more freedom.
00:25:27.859 --> 00:25:31.869
And so it cost me my freedom initially.
00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:32.019
Right.
00:25:32.140 --> 00:25:44.759
I was saying no to certain, you know, parties or dinners with girlfriends, and I was choosing to work on this business that was unexpectedly exactly where I'm supposed to be.
00:25:45.109 --> 00:25:52.529
And I had to say no to the pretty, shiny things, the things I wanted to do, so I could ultimately create the life I, I love.
00:25:52.529 --> 00:25:54.940
So short-term sacrifice for long-term gain.
00:25:55.150 --> 00:25:55.789
100%.
00:25:55.829 --> 00:25:58.500
And then what kind of makes you smile about your current life?
00:26:01.875 --> 00:26:02.965
L- l- like everything.
00:26:03.256 --> 00:26:09.375
Yeah, tell me some of the things And w- as I say that- Yeah I'm wanting to make myself small so I don't make other women feel bad.
00:26:09.375 --> 00:26:09.395
No.
00:26:09.395 --> 00:26:09.816
You know?
00:26:09.826 --> 00:26:11.066
Let's be inspiring.
00:26:11.185 --> 00:26:11.215
I know.
00:26:11.306 --> 00:26:13.925
Exactly, it's ingrained in us to do that.
00:26:14.205 --> 00:26:16.486
But I think about my husband, you know?
00:26:16.496 --> 00:26:16.516
Yeah.
00:26:16.526 --> 00:26:19.675
I was in a, toxic marriage before.
00:26:19.685 --> 00:26:28.269
I got on my knees one, one morning and- gave my marriage to God, and he showed me very clearly and, unequivocally you can leave- Leave.
00:26:28.269 --> 00:26:29.512
Yay Keep preaching that.
00:26:29.512 --> 00:26:29.813
Yes.
00:26:29.813 --> 00:26:29.823
Yes.
00:26:29.823 --> 00:26:30.153
Yes.
00:26:30.153 --> 00:26:31.522
That is sometimes the answer, leave.
00:26:31.782 --> 00:26:32.702
Exactly.
00:26:32.712 --> 00:26:36.492
And I did, and it was really hard, and the, the last few years were hard.
00:26:36.492 --> 00:26:39.143
And we don't know how God is aligning our lives.
00:26:39.502 --> 00:26:48.522
Because I left that marriage and I was 35 years old sitting in my childhood bedroom- Yeah upset and feeling like,"Why am I here?
00:26:48.522 --> 00:26:49.173
What is happening?
00:26:49.173 --> 00:27:02.163
I'm 35 in my childhood bedroom." And then COVID hit, and I got to spend beautiful, uninterrupted, fabulous lockdown time with my dad- Yeah and with my parents.
00:27:02.192 --> 00:27:02.403
Yeah.
00:27:02.762 --> 00:27:09.393
And I got to have that time with them, and had no idea- Right that my dad would pass away nine months later.
00:27:09.452 --> 00:27:09.682
Yeah.
00:27:09.732 --> 00:27:18.313
And so we don't know what God has planned for us, and if we can just trust it, follow our gut even though it doesn't necessarily make sense, and trust it'll make sense in his timing.
00:27:18.742 -->
00:27:27.692
But hopefully listening to people like you, I just saw Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad and Summer House, she was accepting an award and she's like,"I was in an unhealthy relationship in college, and I just want to admit it.
00:27:27.692 --> 00:27:28.452
There's no shame.
00:27:28.712 --> 00:27:34.472
But if I, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you." We need to be women who stand up and say,"We totally believe- Yeah in the love of God.
00:27:34.712 --> 00:27:40.222
And because I'm so beloved, I don't stay in relationships- Facts where the light in me is not honored," right?
00:27:40.413 --> 00:27:43.573
Like, if someone has these issues, they can go and work them out.
00:27:43.573 --> 00:27:45.083
We don't have to take on every project.
00:27:45.303 --> 00:27:47.173
So you love your husband, you love waking up.
00:27:47.173 --> 00:27:50.292
I love the video of you and your mom, your mornings with, Monday mornings with Mom.
00:27:50.303 --> 00:27:50.333
Yes.
00:27:50.492 --> 00:27:51.972
But, like, what else is making you smile?
00:27:51.972 --> 00:27:55.353
'Cause you are just, like, brightness and sunshine.
00:27:55.353 --> 00:27:57.792
El- It could be the smallest little thing, like you said, like the hoop earrings.
00:27:57.792 --> 00:28:04.843
But anything else that you're like,"This is really, truly something that's making me smile these days." I mean, coffee on an afternoon.
00:28:06.232 --> 00:28:07.532
Being able to go for a walk.
00:28:07.542 --> 00:28:07.563
Yeah.
00:28:07.573 --> 00:28:09.742
Walking 10,000 steps a day.
00:28:09.742 --> 00:28:15.093
I've committed to walking 10,000 steps a day, and I'm noticing a difference in my body as a result.
00:28:15.103 --> 00:28:15.123
Yeah.
00:28:15.153 --> 00:28:18.182
Talking about those, like, small steps that we're, we're taking.
00:28:18.192 --> 00:28:18.212
Yeah.
00:28:18.532 --> 00:28:22.053
Um, which 10,000 steps for some people might sound, like, impossible and huge.
00:28:22.303 --> 00:28:22.393
Right.
00:28:22.393 --> 00:28:23.512
But, but, like, start where you're at.
00:28:23.583 --> 00:28:23.952
Yes.
00:28:24.053 --> 00:28:26.643
You know, it might be 5,000, might be 6,000, 7,000.
00:28:26.643 --> 00:28:30.303
But it's, it's changed my body in a way that I feel more confident.
00:28:30.313 --> 00:28:34.643
And- I love that I'm feeling excited for my trip to Florida next month, so.
00:28:34.653 --> 00:28:35.113
I love that.
00:28:35.353 --> 00:28:38.423
And so having something ahead to be excited about.
00:28:38.452 --> 00:28:40.752
My three daughters, as I said, they don't live in New Hampshire anymore.
00:28:40.752 --> 00:28:41.772
They live outside of...
00:28:42.063 --> 00:28:45.153
They live in really fun, fantastic places to visit, but they don't live here.
00:28:45.423 --> 00:28:51.333
And so having something on the calendar of, like, we're gonna get together, or for all of them to have these really fun lives where here's the next thing.
00:28:51.853 -->
00:28:59.932
I think having women keep saying things like this on repeat, if you're hearing us and right now you're feeling exhausted, depleted, we understand.
00:28:59.932 --> 00:29:00.563
We were there.
00:29:00.904 --> 00:29:06.954
both of us, like overgave, had no more energy but kept pushing, and we're like,"Here's another way to do it." Yes.
00:29:08.075 --> 00:29:14.055
Get excited about something, take small steps in that direction, and then love yourself enough to say,"You know what?
00:29:14.055 --> 00:29:15.005
I did the 10 minutes.
00:29:15.045 --> 00:29:15.684
I'm tired.
00:29:15.684 --> 00:29:20.434
I c- I deserve rest and joy, and I'll come back to it." So any final thoughts for us?
00:29:20.454 --> 00:29:22.545
And tell people how they can connect with you.
00:29:22.595 --> 00:29:24.585
What they could do to get camera ready.
00:29:24.595 --> 00:29:26.494
How can people get camera ready with Lyndsey?
00:29:27.454 --> 00:29:29.654
Camera ready with Lyndsey, yes, exactly.
00:29:29.654 --> 00:29:33.345
Yeah, so I love being able to give women that time for themselves.
00:29:33.394 --> 00:29:35.325
I offer in-person pampering sessions.
00:29:35.325 --> 00:29:36.134
I also love...
00:29:36.714 --> 00:29:44.454
Thank you for technology and virtual options- Yes too- Yes because I offer 15-minute skincare consultations, and there's so much.
00:29:44.484 --> 00:29:47.144
I like to take beauty and simplify it for people.
00:29:47.144 --> 00:29:47.505
Yes.
00:29:48.015 --> 00:30:02.555
There's so many options out there, and I like to take that mental load off of skincare and makeup, provide a custom, solution and skincare routine that might be simple or might be all the things so you can have the results that you want, or that five-minute face.
00:30:02.555 --> 00:30:05.884
Or glam look you're going to a wedding, you wanna look- Right best.
00:30:06.125 --> 00:30:10.755
Being able to provide that as a service for people that's really attainable for you.
00:30:10.775 --> 00:30:13.575
And all of our products, we follow European standards.
00:30:13.855 --> 00:30:14.984
And you know, grandma.
00:30:15.025 --> 00:30:17.404
I used to think Mary Kay was like grandma's makeup.
00:30:17.414 --> 00:30:17.444
Right.
00:30:17.454 --> 00:30:19.625
Well, we really trust Grandma.
00:30:19.684 --> 00:30:19.894
Yeah.
00:30:20.214 --> 00:30:20.255
You know?
00:30:20.795 --> 00:30:21.815
Grandma gives great advice.
00:30:23.464 --> 00:30:25.634
You can connect with me on Instagram.
00:30:25.644 --> 00:30:26.795
That's probably the best place.
00:30:26.805 --> 00:30:28.805
Lyndsey Joy Joy is my handle.
00:30:28.805 --> 00:30:29.944
My middle name is Joy.
00:30:30.325 --> 00:30:31.535
So Lyndsey Joy Joy.
00:30:31.535 --> 00:30:35.634
Lyndsey is spelled L-Y-N-D-S-E-Y.
00:30:35.644 --> 00:30:36.055
Lyndsey Joy Joy.
00:30:36.055 --> 00:30:37.454
And we will link that in the notes.
00:30:37.464 --> 00:30:39.575
Lyndsey, thank you so much for being here today.
00:30:39.585 --> 00:30:39.615
Yes.
00:30:39.615 --> 00:30:44.115
I hope our time together helps you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life.
00:30:45.224 --> 00:30:45.805
Thank you.
00:30:46.211 --> 00:30:48.681
Thank you for joining the Live a Vibrant Life podcast.
00:30:49.101 --> 00:30:55.550
I hope our time together encouraged you and will equip you with the tools you need to move into the vibrant life you desire.
00:30:56.230 --> 00:30:59.790
I'm here to help you live a brave, creative, purpose-filled life.
00:31:00.171 --> 00:31:08.080
And if you'd like to learn more, you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook, Kelly Tibbits Life Coach, or visit my website, kellytibbitts.com.
00:31:08.611 --> 00:31:10.290
I look forward to connecting again soon