Fuld transskription af STOP Beating Your Meat with this Tasty Treat_ THE DARK HISTORY OF GRAHAM CRACKERS

is a mess? 36 00:02:00.269 --> 00:02:02.150 Like I'm literally just eating graham crackers at 2 a.m. 37 00:02:03.450 --> 00:02:06.049 no kind of topping or anything. They're stale. They're not 38 00:02:06.090 --> 00:02:08.710 even good. Like, is this my life? It is. And 39 00:02:08.729 --> 00:02:10.990 I'm just like looking at the box, trying to figure 40 00:02:11.090 --> 00:02:13.330 out what do people actually do with graham crackers besides 41 00:02:13.409 --> 00:02:15.490 use them for s'mores? Like how did we get the 42 00:02:15.509 --> 00:02:18.669 graham cracker? I'm a very curious person. I'm sure you're aware. 43 00:02:19.389 --> 00:02:24.240 Who made them? I don't know. Well, I got to Googling. 44 00:02:24.629 --> 00:02:28.659 Turns out they're actually named after a man named, drum 45 00:02:28.680 --> 00:02:34.500 roll please, Sylvester Graham. Wow, shocker. What's even more shocking 46 00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:38.379 is that they were invented with a very specific and 47 00:02:38.620 --> 00:02:41.960 interesting purpose in mind. Oh yes, the graham cracker was 48 00:02:42.039 --> 00:02:49.979 made to stop people from masturbating. Yep, you heard that correctly. 49 00:02:50.699 --> 00:02:55.030 You probably weren't expecting that one, were you? Instead of that, 50 00:02:55.210 --> 00:02:58.990 you'd be like, you know, with a graham cracker. So 51 00:02:59.030 --> 00:03:01.620 get your hands out of your pants and Let's get 52 00:03:01.659 --> 00:03:04.699 to know the inventor of the graham cracker, the one, 53 00:03:04.740 --> 00:03:09.840 the only, Mr. Sylvester Graham. I have my dark history 54 00:03:09.879 --> 00:03:13.879 book open to the graham cracker, stops you from masturbating chapter, 55 00:03:13.939 --> 00:03:16.520 very specific, but it's in here. And we're gonna learn 56 00:03:16.539 --> 00:03:20.150 about this. You ready? Great, because it's wild. Sylvester Graham 57 00:03:20.189 --> 00:03:24.629 was born in Suffield, Connecticut on July 5th, 1794. And 58 00:03:24.650 --> 00:03:27.930 compared to everyone else around him, Graham had a pretty 59 00:03:27.990 --> 00:03:31.680 sad childhood, okay? His dad and his brother died when 60 00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:34.659 he was just a baby. And then a few years later, 61 00:03:34.819 --> 00:03:37.680 his mother had a mental breakdown and was hauled off 62 00:03:37.719 --> 00:03:40.150 to an asylum where she would end up spending the 63 00:03:40.289 --> 00:03:43.370 rest of her life. I guess she died in the asylum. 64 00:03:44.389 --> 00:03:46.909 They thought she was crazy. I don't know. Couldn't find 65 00:03:46.949 --> 00:03:50.449 that much information about it, but sad. So from an 66 00:03:50.550 --> 00:03:54.199 early age, Graham was pretty much all alone. And with 67 00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:58.060 no other choice, Graham went to work at his uncle's farm. 68 00:03:58.259 --> 00:04:00.490 And it's like, yay, you know, he's got family now. 69 00:04:00.539 --> 00:04:06.009 Everything's

gonna be okay. Of course not, you know, no. 70 00:04:06.430 --> 00:04:09.789 You see, Graham had an awful immune system and he 71 00:04:09.830 --> 00:04:13.439 was that kid that was always getting sick. So he 72 00:04:13.500 --> 00:04:16.800 spends most of his childhood sick and on a farm. 73 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:19.620 Then when his teen years roll around, he leaves the 74 00:04:19.660 --> 00:04:22.990 farm and moves to New York for school. While there 75 00:04:23.129 --> 00:04:26.180 he works two jobs. So by day he's working as 76 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:29.540 a paper maker, shout out to Dunder Mifflin. And then 77 00:04:29.579 --> 00:04:33.439 by night he's working at the town tavern. So he's 78 00:04:33.459 --> 00:04:37.149 like working two jobs and going through puberty. Good for him, 79 00:04:37.209 --> 00:04:40.610 I guess. But while working at the tavern, Graham starts 80 00:04:40.649 --> 00:04:44.350 to notice that the local patrons would come in one way, 81 00:04:44.370 --> 00:04:48.069 AKA sober. And then he would watch them like getting 82 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:52.040 further sloshed by the hour and end up acting like 83 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:55.000 complete fools. If you've ever worked at a bar or 84 00:04:55.040 --> 00:04:57.860 you have an alcoholic family member, you know exactly what 85 00:04:57.879 --> 00:05:01.800 I'm talking about. That's mean, but it's the truth. Because like, look, 86 00:05:01.959 --> 00:05:04.139 I worked as a bartender one time for like a 87 00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:07.620 small minute because I realized it wasn't for me. But 88 00:05:07.639 --> 00:05:10.779 you watch people come in, they're sober, they've got manners, 89 00:05:10.819 --> 00:05:14.959 they're respectful. And then you just watch them go down. 90 00:05:16.819 --> 00:05:20.439 It's wild. It's difficult. It's a hard job. Being around 91 00:05:20.579 --> 00:05:23.660 all of that made Graham completely swear off alcohol and 92 00:05:23.699 --> 00:05:26.639 drinking in general. Because if it made people act like that, 93 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:29.779 you were never going to catch Graham even like touching 94 00:05:29.800 --> 00:05:34.000 the devil's whiskey. And this realization becomes very important to 95 00:05:34.050 --> 00:05:36.870 Graham's future. So put that away in like a box 96 00:05:36.899 --> 00:05:39.170 for now and then we'll pull it out later. He 97 00:05:39.209 --> 00:05:44.370 doesn't like alcohol and he doesn't like drunk people. Noted. 98 00:05:44.569 --> 00:05:47.629 But back to Graham. His New York life comes to 99 00:05:47.670 --> 00:05:52.009 a halt when he's diagnosed with tuberculosis, which, if you 100 00:05:52.050 --> 00:05:54.610 don't know, is an infection that could destroy your lungs. 101 00:05:54.970 --> 00:05:58.100 TB came in and, like, just ruined Graham's life. He 102 00:05:58.120 --> 00:05:59.959 had to drop out of school and move back to 103 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:02.899 his uncle's farm to focus on his health. And, like, 104 00:06:02.939 --> 00:06:05.959 he's sick all the time, and he hates it, and 105 00:06:06.000 --> 00:06:08.829 he's wondering, like, why him? Why Graham? Why do I 106 00:06:08.870 --> 00:06:10.879 have to be the sick one all the time? So 107 00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:13.420 10 long years go by and Graham starts to see 108 00:06:13.480 --> 00:06:16.620 life completely different. This is important to know because Graham's 109 00:06:16.699 --> 00:06:20.300 health is literally the foundation for all of what happens. 110 00:06:20.600 --> 00:06:22.680 So over time, you know, he's taking care of his health. 111 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:25.970 He's starting to get better and he decides, hey, I 112 00:06:26.129 --> 00:06:30.029 want to do what my grandpa and my dad did. 113 00:06:30.089 --> 00:06:33.589 I want to follow in the family's footsteps. Graham is like, 114 00:06:33.730 --> 00:06:36.329 I'm going to become a preacher just like his father 115 00:06:36.370 --> 00:06:39.649 and his grandfather. And he goes for it. He gets 116 00:06:39.709 --> 00:06:43.930 into one of the best religious schools around. He's excited, 117 00:06:44.310 --> 00:06:47.990 new school, new goal, new Graham, yay. But at this 118 00:06:48.050 --> 00:06:52.209 new school, Graham did not have a good time. He 119 00:06:52.240 --> 00:06:56.379 was experiencing the worst bullying. Many of them thought that 120 00:06:56.420 --> 00:07:00.399 Graham's beliefs and his interpretation of like the Bible and 121 00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:04.839 religion were just a lot. It was a lot, okay? 122 00:07:04.879 --> 00:07:08.529 They thought he was, somewhat annoying. Nobody seemed to like 123 00:07:08.569 --> 00:07:12.589 Graham and eventually he left school. Yeah. Seems like every 124 00:07:12.610 --> 00:07:15.389 time he gets up, gets an idea, has a passion 125 00:07:15.410 --> 00:07:19.649 in life, he gets right kicked back down again. Poor guy. 126 00:07:19.910 --> 00:07:22.430 So being bullied out of school would lead Graham to 127 00:07:22.470 --> 00:07:26.050 a full-blown nervous breakdown. So he ends up moving to 128 00:07:26.129 --> 00:07:30.000 Rhode Island where he meets his future wife, Sarah, and 129 00:07:30.060 --> 00:07:32.839 she nurses him back to health. I mean, he didn't 130 00:07:32.899 --> 00:07:36.490 have any family to go to. So this was This 131 00:07:36.509 --> 00:07:39.709 was different. It was kind. Somebody was actually wanting to 132 00:07:39.769 --> 00:07:41.769 take care of him for the first time. And it 133 00:07:41.829 --> 00:07:44.430 would not take long until the two would fall in love. 134 00:07:45.069 --> 00:07:48.709 In 1824, Graham's back to feeling like himself again. And 135 00:07:48.750 --> 00:07:52.129 the two decide to get married. Honestly, there's stories like 136 00:07:52.180 --> 00:07:55.259 a cute little rom-com that I definitely watch. I'd watch it. 137 00:07:56.019 --> 00:08:00.439 It's cute. She nurses him back to health. Once

Graham 138 00:08:00.449 --> 00:08:03.040 was better, Sarah encouraged her husband to get back out 139 00:08:03.060 --> 00:08:05.220 there and try again. She had a little money to 140 00:08:05.259 --> 00:08:07.639 her name and she used that towards funding his new 141 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:14.040 purpose in life, which was now being a traveling preacher. Oh, yes. 142 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:17.160 So he begins his journey preaching the word of God. 143 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.779 And Graham's timing really couldn't have been better because people 144 00:08:20.819 --> 00:08:23.389 seem to be straying further and further away from God. 145 00:08:23.769 --> 00:08:26.649 from God and religion and their values seem to be 146 00:08:26.689 --> 00:08:29.269 going out the damn window. I mean, at this time, 147 00:08:29.589 --> 00:08:34.250 STDs were spreading in America like wildfire. So Graham felt 148 00:08:34.409 --> 00:08:37.899 like maybe he could do the Lord's work. He could 149 00:08:38.059 --> 00:08:44.639 save the people from themselves. Jesus. Jesus. And let me 150 00:08:44.679 --> 00:08:47.759 tell ya, he was kinda onto something. And I know 151 00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:49.649 you're probably like, Bailey, I thought this story was about 152 00:08:49.710 --> 00:08:52.730 graham crackers. Like, why are you talking about a preacher? Yeah, 153 00:08:52.809 --> 00:08:55.929 you're right. but I promise it's all gonna make sense. 154 00:08:56.570 --> 00:08:59.429 And we'll get to the graham cracker and masturbation. Do 155 00:08:59.450 --> 00:09:01.929 you ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of choices that 156 00:09:01.950 --> 00:09:05.129 are out there? Whether you're shopping for cereal or toilet paper, 157 00:09:05.360 --> 00:09:07.559 there are so many options. It's hard to know what's 158 00:09:07.580 --> 00:09:10.019 best for you. When it comes to finding skincare products 159 00:09:10.059 --> 00:09:13.820 that actually work, it's even more overwhelming. I've been struggling 160 00:09:13.860 --> 00:09:16.870 with some stress breakouts and I went online to find 161 00:09:16.929 --> 00:09:19.700 products that could potentially help but there were just so 162 00:09:19.799 --> 00:09:22.190 many brands and products to choose from. How are you 163 00:09:22.230 --> 00:09:26.049 supposed to know what even works? What's good? Help! Finding 164 00:09:26.110 --> 00:09:29.429 skincare products that actually work for you is complicated. And 165 00:09:29.450 --> 00:09:32.450 that's why I'm always excited to partner with Apostrophe, the 166 00:09:32.490 --> 00:09:35.750 sponsor of this episode. Apostrophe is an online platform that 167 00:09:35.850 --> 00:09:38.629 connects you with an expert dermatology team to get you 168 00:09:38.690 --> 00:09:43.139 customized acne treatment for your skin. unique skin. Through Apostrophe, 169 00:09:43.279 --> 00:09:45.860 you can get access to oral and topical medications that 170 00:09:45.940 --> 00:09:49.090 use clinically proven ingredients to help clear acne. All you 171 00:09:49.129 --> 00:09:52.070 have to do is simply fill out an online consultation 172 00:09:52.129 --> 00:09:55.169 about your skin goals and medical history, then snap a 173 00:09:55.190 --> 00:09:58.730 few selfies and a board-certified dermatologist will create your first 174 00:09:58.850 --> 00:10:02.789 customized treatment plan. Apostrophe offers access to treatments for all 175 00:10:02.830 --> 00:10:06.830 types of acne, from hormonal acne to facial acne, back knee, 176 00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:10.320 chest knee, and even butt acne. They treat breakouts from 177 00:10:10.389 --> 00:10:13.480 head to toe. I love Apostrophe and have been using 178 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:15.299 them for over a year now. I love that you 179 00:10:15.340 --> 00:10:17.539 can just snap a few photos of your skin and 180 00:10:17.559 --> 00:10:21.850 a real dermatologist through the website will prescribe you your 181 00:10:21.990 --> 00:10:26.769 own skincare regimen that's perfectly tailored to whatever concerns you have. 182 00:10:26.970 --> 00:10:29.590 And what's even better is that all of my skincare 183 00:10:29.730 --> 00:10:33.029 oral and topical medications get delivered right to my door. 184 00:10:33.750 --> 00:10:35.509 It's so easy. It's so easy. You don't have to 185 00:10:35.529 --> 00:10:36.809 wait in line. You don't have to go anywhere. I 186 00:10:37.100 --> 00:10:39.820 love it. Today, we have a special deal for you, 187 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:44.600 my audience. Get your first visit for only $ 5 at apostrophe.com 188 00:10:44.639 --> 00:10:48.279 slash dark history. When you use the code dark history, 189 00:10:48.649 --> 00:10:51.639 That's a savings of $ 15, baby. This code is only 190 00:10:51.679 --> 00:10:55.700 available to my listeners. To get started, just go to apostrophe.com 191 00:10:55.720 --> 00:10:59.299 slash darkhistory and click begin visit. Then use the code 192 00:10:59.340 --> 00:11:02.139 darkhistory at signup and you'll get your first visit for 193 00:11:02.179 --> 00:11:07.179 only $ 5. Thank you, Apostrophe, for sponsoring this episode. Picture 194 00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:10.100 this in your mind. We're in America in the 1800s. 195 00:11:10.220 --> 00:11:12.700 I'm sure you can imagine what that looks like. But 196 00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:15.539 let me tell you, life in the 1800s was no picnic. 197 00:11:16.070 --> 00:11:18.590 Oh no, it was not. Women are wearing all these 198 00:11:18.710 --> 00:11:26.649 hot layers of clothes. Ugh, nobody's showering. Things were moist. Uh, 199 00:11:27.080 --> 00:11:31.759 real moist. So not only was everyone stinky as hell, 200 00:11:31.980 --> 00:11:36.570 but germs, they weren't even invented yet. And like everybody 201 00:11:36.629 --> 00:11:38.929 was getting sick. And what I mean by that is 202 00:11:38.950 --> 00:11:41.590 that like germs are real, but the people at this 203 00:11:41.629 --> 00:11:44.429 time didn't

know that germs was a thing. Doctors haven't 204 00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:47.919 put a name to it just yet so it wasn't 205 00:11:47.940 --> 00:11:50.960 invented you get it anyways at this time everybody's getting 206 00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:55.000 sick because nobody understands the logic of germs um not 207 00:11:55.019 --> 00:11:58.370 even doctors understood how germs worked or how they spread 208 00:11:59.110 --> 00:12:01.690 if you were sick with anything you know like let's 209 00:12:01.710 --> 00:12:04.110 say you had a fever they would do something called 210 00:12:04.210 --> 00:12:08.970 bloodletting and uh it's basically exactly what it sounds like 211 00:12:09.399 --> 00:12:12.269 They cut your arm open and let you bleed your 212 00:12:12.330 --> 00:12:15.929 infected blood into a bucket. And turns out, surprise, surprise, 213 00:12:16.710 --> 00:12:19.830 this method was not very effective. Did not work. Nay, nay. 214 00:12:19.990 --> 00:12:21.950 But that's how they would, you know, heal you. That 215 00:12:21.990 --> 00:12:26.559 was like the Tylenol. Cutting yourself and bleeding into a bucket. America. Now, 216 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:29.379 on one side, you had doctors with their not so 217 00:12:29.419 --> 00:12:32.440 great medicine. And then on the other side, you had 218 00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:37.309 religious people and their own beliefs and views as how 219 00:12:37.350 --> 00:12:40.769 to handle sicknesses. So they weren't going to the doctor 220 00:12:40.809 --> 00:12:44.309 to bleed out, which, good, since we know it doesn't work. 221 00:12:44.750 --> 00:12:46.830 But if they weren't turning to doctors, who were they 222 00:12:46.850 --> 00:12:50.870 turning to? God. They were turning to God for help. 223 00:12:51.169 --> 00:12:53.899 They believed that the reason behind all this sickness and 224 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:58.019 suffering was a moral thing. Oh yeah. They thought that 225 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:00.620 all this bad stuff was happening to them because they 226 00:13:00.659 --> 00:13:04.059 were being immoral in the eyes of God. And our 227 00:13:04.120 --> 00:13:07.320 boy Graham, he freaking loved that shit. This was right 228 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:11.259 up his alley. That's exactly what he believed. So Graham 229 00:13:11.460 --> 00:13:15.000 is out there doing his traveling preaching and his big 230 00:13:15.059 --> 00:13:19.590 hook was like, no more alcohol, which was easy because 231 00:13:19.649 --> 00:13:22.269 there was actually already a big push at the time 232 00:13:22.330 --> 00:13:25.750 to get booze banned. So Graham is on the road 233 00:13:25.809 --> 00:13:27.649 and he's been on the road for a while at 234 00:13:27.710 --> 00:13:32.710 this point, telling people not to drink booze. But something 235 00:13:32.809 --> 00:13:36.950 just wasn't, clicking. And that's when Graham starts preaching that 236 00:13:37.009 --> 00:13:41.190 booze was destroying not only people's health and personalities,

but 237 00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:45.740 their families as well. So Graham started preaching directly to people, 238 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.620 especially women. And after all, I mean, they're the ones 239 00:13:48.659 --> 00:13:52.120 dealing with their booze bag husbands while trying to run 240 00:13:52.159 --> 00:13:56.320 the household. I mean, look at Paul over here. Deadbeat. 241 00:13:57.500 --> 00:14:00.429 He does nothing, you know? He just takes all the credit, whatever. 242 00:14:00.529 --> 00:14:03.899 And I'm the one over here trying to like Okay, 243 00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:05.980 so this is when people really start to like Graham, 244 00:14:06.220 --> 00:14:09.139 because he seemed like a normal, everyday guy that you 245 00:14:09.159 --> 00:14:13.100 could completely trust. And that is where Graham succeeded, by 246 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:18.120 talking to people on their level. Finally, regular, the common folk, 247 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:21.460 felt like they were being heard and seen. And while 248 00:14:21.500 --> 00:14:25.179 he's starting to gain an audience, Graham has his light 249 00:14:25.220 --> 00:14:30.600 bulb moment. Ding! He realizes that people's health, religion, and 250 00:14:30.639 --> 00:14:36.820 perhaps maybe their lifestyle could all be connected. And that 251 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.960 a healthy diet may keep you away from Satan's temptation, 252 00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:48.120 therefore keeping you healthy. He was onto something here. This 253 00:14:48.200 --> 00:14:52.409 new diet sermon actually starts to do pretty okay. Graham 254 00:14:52.490 --> 00:14:55.169 really starts to get attention from his audiences and build 255 00:14:55.250 --> 00:14:58.429 a solid fan base. So he takes it a step 256 00:14:58.490 --> 00:15:01.500 further and pretty much tells them, You know how you 257 00:15:01.539 --> 00:15:05.059 can really, like, for sure get into heaven, you guys? 258 00:15:06.019 --> 00:15:10.889 You need to eat healthy, exercise regularly, and most of all, 259 00:15:12.070 --> 00:15:16.250 no more masturbation. Now, first and foremost, as I mentioned, 260 00:15:16.470 --> 00:15:21.970 his audience were mainly made up of women. Women loved Graham. 261 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:25.149 So Graham is traveling the country talking to groups of 262 00:15:25.250 --> 00:15:29.169 women about sex. which at this time was a very 263 00:15:29.309 --> 00:15:32.190 bold move. But what was so shocking was that Graham 264 00:15:32.309 --> 00:15:34.730 did not hold back when it came to preaching his 265 00:15:34.830 --> 00:15:37.840 views about sex. Again, this is a time when you 266 00:15:37.960 --> 00:15:43.000 literally didn't even say the word like boobie out in public. No, 267 00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:45.580 you did not just say boobie. Send her to the island, 268 00:15:45.960 --> 00:15:49.220 get rid of her. You'd be shunned, game over. Graham 269 00:15:49.259 --> 00:15:53.000 didn't care. He was like, yeah, boobie, titty, vagina, sex. 270 00:15:53.070 --> 00:15:56.429 Like he was going off. Graham even would preach to 271 00:15:56.490 --> 00:16:00.049 married people that they should only be having sex once 272 00:16:00.470 --> 00:16:04.289 a month. This was because Graham believed that too much 273 00:16:04.470 --> 00:16:07.470 sex was a sin that could leave you vulnerable to 274 00:16:08.389 --> 00:16:12.429 Satan's grasp. But sex wasn't the only thing off limits. 275 00:16:12.710 --> 00:16:14.950 I mean, there was something way worse than having too 276 00:16:14.990 --> 00:16:21.379 much sex. Something he called the sin of self-pollution. I 277 00:16:21.500 --> 00:16:26.659 love that. I want that on a shirt. Sin of self-pollution? Ah, 278 00:16:26.820 --> 00:16:28.779 what a name. What does that even mean? It's what 279 00:16:28.820 --> 00:16:33.980 Graham called masturbation. Yeah, the sin of self-pollution. Graham knew 280 00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:37.740 that the most important thing about masturbation, you can't spell 281 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:44.100 it without you, you little sinner you. Now Graham's logic 282 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:49.590 behind the anti-masturbation crusade was that masturbation caused inflammation within 283 00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:52.120 the body which opened the door for a bunch of 284 00:16:52.200 --> 00:16:56.970 other illnesses like heart disease, epilepsy, or even insanity. On 285 00:16:57.070 --> 00:17:01.210 top of that, Graham believed this was the most dangerous 286 00:17:01.389 --> 00:17:08.230 sin of all because masturbation could happen anywhere, anytime. Like 287 00:17:08.289 --> 00:17:12.089 it was some creature lurking in the shadows, watching you 288 00:17:12.150 --> 00:17:17.480 take off your pants. Take off your pants. You know? 289 00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:21.059 If you have a cell phone, you need Casetify. And 290 00:17:21.099 --> 00:17:24.339 I've been using Casetify phone cases for years, and I 291 00:17:24.500 --> 00:17:28.460 love them so much. If sustainability protection and style had 292 00:17:28.500 --> 00:17:32.680 a baby, that's Casetify. Their Ultra Impact Crush cases are 293 00:17:32.740 --> 00:17:35.059 one of the most protective cases that you can get. 294 00:17:35.220 --> 00:17:40.500 Engineered with innovative shock absorption technology, ChiTech 2.0, These cases 295 00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:44.779 are up to 9.8 feet drop proof. What? I know. 296 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:47.069 I mean, I hope you're never dropping your phone over 297 00:17:47.130 --> 00:17:50.170 nine feet, but you know, if you did, Casetify will 298 00:17:50.230 --> 00:17:53.849 definitely keep your phone crack free. Every detail is fine 299 00:17:53.910 --> 00:17:57.880 tuned for optimal 360 degree protection and ultra slim style. 300 00:17:58.140 --> 00:18:00.660 And they have their signature camera ring, which maybe you've 301 00:18:00.680 --> 00:18:04.509 seen all over Instagram. It's designed to not just look good, 302

00:18:04.609 --> 00:18:07.789 but also protect your precious camera lens. I was thinking 303 00:18:07.829 --> 00:18:09.049 about that the other day. I was like, yeah, we 304 00:18:09.190 --> 00:18:12.710 kind of forget about the camera lens. Not anymore. And 305 00:18:12.730 --> 00:18:16.220 what's even better, their cases are super eco-friendly. Their crush 306 00:18:16.259 --> 00:18:20.859 cases are actually made from 65% recycled and plant-based materials. Also, 307 00:18:21.019 --> 00:18:24.099 their crush cases are partially old phone cases that have 308 00:18:24.140 --> 00:18:27.549 been shredded and repurposed. We love to see it. If 309 00:18:27.589 --> 00:18:30.109 that's not enough, they have tons and tons of designs 310 00:18:30.130 --> 00:18:34.170 to choose from. And if you still are like, no, well, 311 00:18:34.410 --> 00:18:37.289 you can always design your own customized phone case to 312 00:18:37.309 --> 00:18:39.549 make it totally yours. I mean, I'm telling you, the 313 00:18:39.710 --> 00:18:43.210 options are endless. It's a perfect gift for yourself or 314 00:18:43.269 --> 00:18:46.549 even for a friend. Go to casetify.com and use the 315 00:18:46.589 --> 00:18:52.529 code 15DARKHISTORY to get 15% off your order. That's code 316 00:18:52.710 --> 00:18:56.390 15DARKHISTORY to get 15% off your order. Or to make 317 00:18:56.410 --> 00:18:59.799 it even easier, click the link in our description. Casetify 318 00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:03.259 has the most protective and environmentally friendly phone cases the 319 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:05.920 internet has to offer. You didn't touch yourself while we 320 00:19:05.960 --> 00:19:10.680 were gone, did you? Good, A plus. Remember, Jesus is 321 00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:14.279 always watching. So Graham was telling people to stop whacking 322 00:19:14.319 --> 00:19:18.950 their willies and he had to have a good solution, right? 323 00:19:19.269 --> 00:19:23.109 You bet your titties he did. Ladies and gentlemen, the 324 00:19:23.230 --> 00:19:26.869 moment you've been waiting so patiently for, please welcome to 325 00:19:26.910 --> 00:19:30.150 the stage, you know her, you love her, the Graham cracker. 326 00:19:34.039 --> 00:19:36.210 I get lonely in here. I just want like stuff, 327 00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:39.009 like friends, like a graham cracker who comes, like becomes 328 00:19:39.049 --> 00:19:44.180 a person and comes and sits with me. I'm going 329 00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:46.640 crazy in this room, you guys. Now, to be fair, 330 00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:51.500 it was technically called the graham bread before. but it's 331 00:19:51.539 --> 00:19:54.700 technically what we know it as, a Graham cracker. So 332 00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:56.900 I'm just gonna call it a Graham cracker, okay? You 333 00:19:56.940 --> 00:20:00.539 get it. But it's technically called Graham bread. Okay, so 334 00:20:00.579 --> 00:20:02.089 get to the point. How in the hell is it 335 00:20:02.109 --> 00:20:05.170 supposed to stop me from masturbating? Graham, tell me about it. Well, 336 00:20:05.210 --> 00:20:08.849 Graham believed that only the purest of people can live 337 00:20:08.869 --> 00:20:13.529 a healthy, moral life, and also go straight to heaven. 338 00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:20.039 He also believed that you are what you eat, which, 339 00:20:20.619 --> 00:20:23.700 very true. So in order to be pure, Graham thought 340 00:20:23.900 --> 00:20:27.819 you had to eat pure. Pure, wholesome fibers mean a pure, 341 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:31.900 wholesome human and a one-way ticket to the pearly white gates. 342 00:20:32.309 --> 00:20:34.910 And an easy way to control pure eating was to 343 00:20:35.029 --> 00:20:38.980 make a simple, clean food. And that's exactly what the 344 00:20:39.079 --> 00:20:46.460 OG Graham crackers were. Graham's actual crackers were basically cardboard. Yeah. 345 00:20:46.759 --> 00:20:50.319 They were made with two ingredients. Can't fuck that one up. 346 00:20:50.440 --> 00:20:57.900 Graham's signature triple washed flour and water. Yum. So delicious. 347 00:20:58.789 --> 00:21:02.849 Thank you, Graham. This cracker perfectly represented all his strict 348 00:21:02.910 --> 00:21:08.200 views on religion, alcohol, and disease. It was bland. It 349 00:21:08.220 --> 00:21:13.150 was tasteless. It was two ingredients, him and God. You know, 350 00:21:13.569 --> 00:21:16.470 these are purposely designed to not be tasty. And there 351 00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:19.329 was a reason for that. The OG graham cracker was 352 00:21:19.470 --> 00:21:23.309 plain and free of seasoning, fat, flavor, or anything that 353 00:21:23.430 --> 00:21:28.500 might be considered indulgent. Back then, people were mostly eating 354 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:33.640 lots of heavy indulgent foods like meat, cheese, cakes, and booze. 355 00:21:34.910 --> 00:21:37.690 Sign me up, you know? And nobody at this time 356 00:21:37.769 --> 00:21:41.329 was making the connection between what you ate and how 357 00:21:41.529 --> 00:21:45.849 it may be connected to your overall health, except for Graham. 358 00:21:46.170 --> 00:21:48.509 Now he was taking it a little extreme, but he 359 00:21:48.549 --> 00:21:52.019 was also watching all these people eat crazy heavy foods. 360 00:21:52.630 --> 00:21:55.990 then go off and be super immoral. If you felt 361 00:21:56.009 --> 00:21:58.809 like shit one day, nobody made the connection that maybe 362 00:21:58.930 --> 00:22:02.549 all that beer and cake you consumed wasn't great for 363 00:22:02.569 --> 00:22:04.910 the body. You mean I can't make it up the 364 00:22:05.009 --> 00:22:08.230 steps without getting winded because of all the butter I eat? 365 00:22:09.390 --> 00:22:12.170 That makes no sense. What does butter have to do 366 00:22:12.210 --> 00:22:15.049 with how I feel? Like, people are just confused. They 367 00:22:15.069 --> 00:22:18.190 don't understand. So what I'm getting at is at this time, 368 00:22:18.269

--> 00:22:21.470 people are treating their bodies terribly, just like you on 369 00:22:21.490 --> 00:22:25.839 a Monday night. Don't lie, Linda, don't lie. And don't 370 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:28.500 even get me started on what people were drinking because 371 00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:32.799 clean drinking water at this time, hard to find. During 372 00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:35.160 this time, there wasn't much of a sewage system in 373 00:22:35.200 --> 00:22:37.539 place and it was even worse if you didn't live 374 00:22:37.579 --> 00:22:40.339 in the cities. So the drinking water may have come 375 00:22:40.380 --> 00:22:42.839 with a little side of feces, if you know what 376 00:22:42.859 --> 00:22:45.680 I'm saying. So most didn't care to drink the water 377 00:22:45.799 --> 00:22:50.519 because it wasn't fully safe, which then led many people 378 00:22:50.579 --> 00:22:54.809 to reach for alcohol instead. Why? Because it was the 379 00:22:55.009 --> 00:22:58.349 only beverage that didn't have shit in it. Literally. No 380 00:22:58.369 --> 00:23:00.910 wonder everyone was a raging alcoholic. I mean, they were 381 00:23:00.950 --> 00:23:04.430 drinking alcohol in place of water. How did they function? 382 00:23:04.700 --> 00:23:07.140 It seems like everybody was just really drunk. How come 383 00:23:07.160 --> 00:23:09.799 we're not doing that now? Can we go back to that? 384 00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:13.359 Cake and alcohol, actually? Can we do that? Let me know. 385 00:23:13.460 --> 00:23:16.160 But there's something worse than all the drunken chads, brads, 386 00:23:16.220 --> 00:23:20.180 and dads plaguing America in the 1830s. A disease is 387 00:23:20.359 --> 00:23:26.200 lurking in the shadows and it's called Cholera. Oh yes, baby, 388 00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:29.880 cholera comes to town and the people are scared. It's 389 00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:33.549 a deadly disease spread by contaminated water. So I bet 390 00:23:33.569 --> 00:23:36.220 you can guess where maybe this is going. The sewage 391 00:23:36.380 --> 00:23:40.349 system that I just brought up. It's spreading big time 392 00:23:40.450 --> 00:23:44.109 because of the poor sewage system. Mm-hmm. But this ends 393 00:23:44.190 --> 00:23:46.710 up being a blessing in disguise for our old pal 394 00:23:46.869 --> 00:23:50.430 Graham and his crackers because people started to notice that 395 00:23:50.710 --> 00:23:54.490 anyone who was following Graham's program and like eating his 396 00:23:54.589 --> 00:23:58.769 bland crackers, they didn't seem to be getting cholera. In fact, 397 00:23:58.930 --> 00:24:01.309 they seem to be doing like pretty well while everyone's 398 00:24:01.329 --> 00:24:05.029 getting sick around them. This was because in Graham's program, 399 00:24:05.250 --> 00:24:08.990 he preached that water was the only drink that God 400 00:24:09.150 --> 00:24:12.200 had made for man. So he suggested that the people 401 00:24:12.240 --> 00:24:15.359 should filter it and drink a

lot of it. So 402 00:24:15.380 --> 00:24:17.640 you're probably thinking, well, how the hell are people filtering 403 00:24:17.720 --> 00:24:22.259 water in the 1800s? Well, That's a great question that 404 00:24:22.299 --> 00:24:26.000 I definitely try to look into. And they said that like, 405 00:24:26.779 --> 00:24:28.680 they had a bunch of different ways to filter the 406 00:24:28.740 --> 00:24:32.380 water by using sand or charcoal to like get all 407 00:24:32.420 --> 00:24:34.970 the crap out of the water, you know? But don't 408 00:24:35.089 --> 00:24:38.049 ask me how they, I don't know. They just did, okay? 409 00:24:38.390 --> 00:24:41.869 You believe me? Great. But back to Graham again. So 410 00:24:41.910 --> 00:24:45.539 since Graham's followers never drank alcohol and literally only ever 411 00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:49.309 drank their filtered water, They were thriving while cholera was 412 00:24:49.569 --> 00:24:52.549 spreading through the nation. This was like the best PR 413 00:24:52.589 --> 00:24:55.609 Graham could have ever hoped for. It was making him 414 00:24:55.650 --> 00:25:00.849 look real good. So this is when his popularity skyrockets. 415 00:25:01.210 --> 00:25:04.579 Word of mouth travels. Now they didn't know it was 416 00:25:04.650 --> 00:25:08.420 just filtered water that was the key to not getting sick. 417 00:25:09.259 --> 00:25:12.079 The people were assuming that whatever Graham was doing, like 418 00:25:12.180 --> 00:25:15.809 all of it, it must be working. So many people 419 00:25:15.930 --> 00:25:20.369 adopted Graham's lifestyle diet and suddenly everybody wants in on 420 00:25:20.410 --> 00:25:23.650 this Graham fad. I mean, he's like Jesus, he's saving people. 421 00:25:23.890 --> 00:25:27.829 So we know this lifestyle included no alcohol, purified water, 422 00:25:28.410 --> 00:25:33.519 the Graham crackers, and also was just really prudish about sex. 423 00:25:34.210 --> 00:25:38.079 But what else did the lifestyle involve? Bailey, answer me. 424 00:25:38.660 --> 00:25:42.500 I will, Paul. My God, calm down. Graham's followers had 425 00:25:42.539 --> 00:25:46.740 to replace meat with homemade bread, fresh cow tit milk, 426 00:25:48.009 --> 00:25:52.730 fresh eggs, and cheese, but only in moderation. You can't 427 00:25:52.750 --> 00:25:58.269 go off on that cheese. A big no-no were fat, sugar, meat, alcohol, tobacco, 428 00:25:58.369 --> 00:26:05.000 and spices. Exercise, go outside, enjoy the Lord's work, and 429 00:26:05.099 --> 00:26:10.619 don't give in to any worldly temptations. AKA anything man made. 430 00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:14.079 Graham's followers were so dedicated to Graham and his lifestyle 431 00:26:14.119 --> 00:26:18.369 program that they actually gave themselves a name, the fans, 432 00:26:18.630 --> 00:26:23.690 the stans, a name, the Grammites. Yeah, he had stans. 433 00:26:24.009 --> 00:26:27.829 He had stans before people had stans. Well, people are 434 00:26:27.970 --> 00:26:30.690 flocking to the stores because that's where you can get 435 00:26:30.750 --> 00:26:35.210 Graham's chunky, triple washed, pure flour. Yeah, it's in the store. 436 00:26:35.369 --> 00:26:38.190 Then they would spend their whole day making tasteless graham 437 00:26:38.230 --> 00:26:42.150 crackers to stay healthy and free from temptation and sin. Great. 438 00:26:42.789 --> 00:26:45.430 But still there were like some people who didn't believe him. 439 00:26:45.910 --> 00:26:49.259 Like how can eating these dry, joyless crackers stop me 440 00:26:49.279 --> 00:26:54.059 from wanting to get my sexual relations happening? So Graham 441 00:26:54.299 --> 00:26:56.940 sets out to prove his point with his own little 442 00:26:56.980 --> 00:27:01.339 experiment that nobody asked for. Graham visits a very respectable, 443 00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:04.950 wealthy family in the area. and acts like a fly 444 00:27:05.009 --> 00:27:07.089 on the wall. So, you know, he's just, he's just 445 00:27:07.109 --> 00:27:10.910 like there, he's taking notes on everyone's behavior and their 446 00:27:11.019 --> 00:27:16.519 everyday interactions and just observing them, the family. And Graham 447 00:27:16.680 --> 00:27:20.440 was just wowed by the family's oldest daughter. She was 448 00:27:20.460 --> 00:27:24.460 only seven at the time, but she loved saying her prayers. 449 00:27:25.210 --> 00:27:29.150 eating graham crackers and reading her bible even though nobody 450 00:27:29.269 --> 00:27:32.779 asked her to like she was just a little angel 451 00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:36.180 so graham was like wow this this family really is 452 00:27:36.339 --> 00:27:39.680 on the right path snaps for them my work is 453 00:27:39.720 --> 00:27:42.900 done here but as part of his study he came 454 00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:47.200 back he circles back years later to the same family 455 00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:51.049 when the little girl is now a teenager. And boy, 456 00:27:51.069 --> 00:27:56.049 have things changed. Graham realized that this teenager was just 457 00:27:56.170 --> 00:28:00.890 a full-on hussy. She's flirty when guys are around, she's DTF, 458 00:28:01.079 --> 00:28:07.039 and worst of all, she's addicted to masturbating. Which my 459 00:28:07.079 --> 00:28:09.400 first thought was like, how does he know she's addicted 460 00:28:09.420 --> 00:28:15.210 to masturbating? Were you watching or something? Like, how do 461 00:28:15.230 --> 00:28:19.140 you know? I've got questions. Anyways, because of all of this, 462 00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:22.660 Graham is like, oh my God, something has gone horribly wrong. 463 00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:25.400 And he was determined to find out why she turned 464 00:28:25.460 --> 00:28:27.549 out the way she did. I mean, she was a 465 00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:31.670 pure little angel. How in the hell did she end 466 00:28:31.710 --> 00:28:34.250 up being a prostitute? In the last few months, I've 467 00:28:34.269 --> 00:28:36.970 been

following a morning routine that really helps me start 468 00:28:37.029 --> 00:28:40.009 off my day on the right foot. Let me tell you, 469 00:28:40.130 --> 00:28:42.690 I wake up, I make my coffee, I take a 470 00:28:42.730 --> 00:28:46.859 nice morning walk, then I hop in the shower. Look 471 00:28:46.900 --> 00:28:48.720 at me go. Now, when I get out of the shower, 472 00:28:48.920 --> 00:28:51.720 I make sure to take the time to moisturize my body, 473 00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:53.859 especially with all my tattoos and stuff. I want them 474 00:28:53.880 --> 00:28:57.599 to look shiny and healthy and hydrated, right? The seasons 475 00:28:57.660 --> 00:29:00.490 are changing. Skin tends to get a lot drier, at 476 00:29:00.509 --> 00:29:04.990 least for me. So I use the Undaria Algae Body 477 00:29:05.089 --> 00:29:09.029 Oil to keep my skin soft and moisturized. Osea skincare 478 00:29:09.069 --> 00:29:11.130 and body care products really help to keep my skin 479 00:29:11.170 --> 00:29:15.279 hydrated and healthy. And your skin will seriously love you 480 00:29:15.559 --> 00:29:19.140 so much. for giving it some extra TLC. My morning 481 00:29:19.200 --> 00:29:22.279 routine of applying the Daria Algae Body Oil is a 482 00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:24.400 great way to show myself a little bit of self-care 483 00:29:24.509 --> 00:29:27.450 before the day starts getting super busy. What I love 484 00:29:27.490 --> 00:29:29.690 is that it gives me the most beautiful and healthy glow, 485 00:29:29.730 --> 00:29:32.789 but it doesn't make me feel sticky or greasy, which 486 00:29:32.849 --> 00:29:36.329 is amazing because I hate that feeling of body oils 487 00:29:36.369 --> 00:29:39.410 when it makes you feel greasy and you're leaving like 488 00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:42.960 a snail trap. everywhere. I love body oil, but don't 489 00:29:43.000 --> 00:29:46.670 give me that, ugh, you know? And this one does not. 490 00:29:47.029 --> 00:29:50.809 It includes great ingredients like Andaria algae, acai pulp, and 491 00:29:50.890 --> 00:29:53.730 babassu seed oil. And plus, on top of that, it 492 00:29:53.789 --> 00:29:56.650 smells so bomb. It has a sunny citrus scent with 493 00:29:56.710 --> 00:29:59.329 notes of sweet passion fruit. Also, if you're looking for 494 00:29:59.369 --> 00:30:02.990 a whole body care set, the Undaria Algae Body Oil 495 00:30:03.089 --> 00:30:06.819 comes in the Osea's Total Body Glow Trio Kit, which 496 00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:11.299 includes the body oil, moisturizing body scrub, and a plant-based 497 00:30:11.420 --> 00:30:14.980 body brush. Find your new skincare and body care favorites 498 00:30:15.140 --> 00:30:19.779 at oseamalibu.com and get a special discount just for my listeners. 499 00:30:20.269 --> 00:30:24.670 Get 10% off your first order site-wide with promo code DARKHISTORY. 500 00:30:24.859 --> 00:30:28.559 You'll get free samples with every order and orders over 501 00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:31.859 $ 50 get free shipping. You're going to want it all, baby. 502 00:30:32.259 --> 00:30:40.049 Go to Osea Malibu, O-S-E-A Malibu.com, promo code DARKHISTORY. Welcome back. 503 00:30:40.589 --> 00:30:43.829 So this teenage test subject had given into pleasures of 504 00:30:43.890 --> 00:30:48.430 the flesh and how dare she? And Graham, again, determined 505 00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:50.809 to find out how. And who does he end up 506 00:30:50.849 --> 00:30:54.650 pointing the finger at? He has to blame someone for this. Well, 507 00:30:54.710 --> 00:30:58.349 it's the mother, of course. He notices that she has 508 00:30:58.369 --> 00:31:03.380 been overfeeding her family with super fattening, rich, delicious food. 509 00:31:03.559 --> 00:31:06.720 And this sinner, she would even season their meat. She 510 00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:11.279 would serve sweet pastries. Oh my God. She would put 511 00:31:11.319 --> 00:31:15.920 tons of condiments on the table. Oh no. Yeah, she did. 512 00:31:16.180 --> 00:31:20.670 I guess she gave her kids coffee. That's a choice, 513 00:31:20.970 --> 00:31:23.950 but good for her. And she even gave the teenage 514 00:31:23.970 --> 00:31:27.049 girl a glass of wine every so often. Because as 515 00:31:27.170 --> 00:31:30.650 long as it's under her roof, she's okay with it. 516 00:31:31.109 --> 00:31:34.210 She's that mom, the cool mom. Not like a regular mom, 517 00:31:34.269 --> 00:31:37.130 I'm a cool mom. In Graham's eyes, the mom had 518 00:31:37.170 --> 00:31:42.430 completely tainted her once perfect child with all these indulgent pleasures. 519 00:31:42.869 --> 00:31:46.569 She turned her daughter into a little pleasure seeking gremlin, 520 00:31:47.130 --> 00:31:50.160 leading her down a road filled with lust blunt knee 521 00:31:50.299 --> 00:31:53.640 straight into Satan's open arms. And this was all the 522 00:31:53.700 --> 00:31:56.759 proof that Graham needed to add credibility to his theories. 523 00:31:57.160 --> 00:32:01.390 Side note, honestly, maybe this family didn't even exist. You know, 524 00:32:01.430 --> 00:32:04.009 that was kind of like, maybe this was just a 525 00:32:04.069 --> 00:32:06.529 story he made up, but we don't know. He could 526 00:32:06.549 --> 00:32:08.130 have totally made up this whole thing to help him 527 00:32:08.210 --> 00:32:11.019 prove his point. But all that matters is that he 528 00:32:11.630 --> 00:32:14.519 had this story and ran with it. So Graham starts 529 00:32:14.559 --> 00:32:17.160 to put more of the responsibility on the parents to 530 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:20.029 do their part within the family households. And if they 531 00:32:20.069 --> 00:32:24.009 questioned his ideas, he, Graham, would like point to the 532 00:32:24.049 --> 00:32:26.509 Tess family. Like, well, look at what happened to her. 533 00:32:26.789 --> 00:32:28.670 She has a tramp stamp now. Do you want your 534 00:32:28.710 --> 00:32:31.069 child to end up like that? I didn't think so, Barbara. 535 00:32:31.289

--> 00:32:33.390 So get that ketchup off the table. And this is 536 00:32:33.430 --> 00:32:36.990 when it seems to get a little extreme, to say 537 00:32:37.039 --> 00:32:41.160 the least. Parents were encouraged to ambush their kid's room 538 00:32:41.220 --> 00:32:46.910 at night and try and catch them. Masturbating. Yeah, awkward. 539 00:32:47.130 --> 00:32:50.240 Awkward for everyone, I'm sure. My God, how embarrassing. Like, 540 00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:54.960 oh my God. Mom! Come on, perv. What is this about? 541 00:32:55.019 --> 00:32:57.480 But the thinking behind it was that if they caught 542 00:32:57.539 --> 00:33:00.630 their child with their pants down, then they could fix it. 543 00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:03.589 They could fix the problem. And you had to catch 544 00:33:03.609 --> 00:33:06.069 them when they're young to get rid of this bad habit. 545 00:33:06.410 --> 00:33:10.529 If one of the parents did actually catch their children masturbating, 546 00:33:11.059 --> 00:33:14.609 Doctors told the parents that they could cure their sick, 547 00:33:14.900 --> 00:33:19.890 air quotes here, sick children simply by burning their clitoris 548 00:33:20.609 --> 00:33:24.250 or even circumcising the penis. Just a straight up DIY 549 00:33:24.309 --> 00:33:28.619 situation from your loving parents. Yeah, they did that. Yeah, 550 00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:30.680 they sure did. So not only is there a lot 551 00:33:30.700 --> 00:33:34.240 of shame around masturbation in society, now people are straight 552 00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:36.859 up scared to do it. But people's urges don't just 553 00:33:36.900 --> 00:33:40.940 go away. I mean, we're human. We have hormones. They rage, 554 00:33:41.380 --> 00:33:44.069 you know? But Graham was waiting in the wings with 555 00:33:44.130 --> 00:33:47.869 his bland, boring, not at all tempting in any way, 556 00:33:48.710 --> 00:33:52.269 graham crackers. If for any reason you or your beloved 557 00:33:52.390 --> 00:33:55.650 one are feeling some tingles in the lower region, don't 558 00:33:55.710 --> 00:33:59.599 be a whacker. Just grab a cracker. That's a good one. 559 00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:01.640 So at this point, people are like, fine, I'll eat 560 00:34:01.660 --> 00:34:04.299 this damn graham cracker if it'll make my boner go away. 561 00:34:04.950 --> 00:34:07.130 And honestly, maybe it worked. We don't really know. The 562 00:34:07.150 --> 00:34:09.289 logic here is if you're horny and you eat a 563 00:34:09.329 --> 00:34:12.909 graham cracker, you'll just, you won't be horny anymore because 564 00:34:12.929 --> 00:34:15.510 that graham cracker was so awful. I mean, when was 565 00:34:15.530 --> 00:34:17.639 the last time you ate like something that tasted like 566 00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.099 cardboard and it turned you on? It kind of makes sense. 567 00:34:21.699 --> 00:34:23.219 I get it. I don't agree with it, but I 568 00:34:23.260 --> 00:34:26.800 get it. The logic, kind of. So after preaching about 569 00:34:26.840 --> 00:34:31.309 his lifestyle and his cracker for so long, Graham was 570 00:34:31.570 --> 00:34:35.170 fully having a moment. The impact of his popularity after 571 00:34:35.429 --> 00:34:39.150 cholera and the family experiment meant that the Graham cracker 572 00:34:39.250 --> 00:34:43.039 was suddenly everywhere. Everybody wanted a piece of it. And 573 00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:46.480 Graham actually was very passionate about sharing his idea with 574 00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:49.500 the people. After all, he was one of them. He 575 00:34:50.019 --> 00:34:52.099 was a man of the people. And to show the 576 00:34:52.139 --> 00:34:55.139 people that, he never wanted to charge or make any 577 00:34:55.219 --> 00:35:00.679 profit from his recipe or lifestyle suggestions. But, Graham did 578 00:35:00.739 --> 00:35:04.719 find another way to cash in on his success. In 1834, 579 00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:07.420 Graham decided to go on a book tour where he 580 00:35:07.460 --> 00:35:12.170 could hold seminars and sermons and give speeches all across America, 581 00:35:12.570 --> 00:35:15.230 talking about the benefits of making your food at home 582 00:35:15.610 --> 00:35:19.269 and not relying on all the man-made conveniences coming onto 583 00:35:19.309 --> 00:35:21.969 the scene. Graham is making a bit more than just 584 00:35:22.030 --> 00:35:25.619 money on this tour because this is when Graham strokes 585 00:35:25.780 --> 00:35:31.380 his ego and gets a little promotion. self-promotion. So the Grammites, 586 00:35:31.619 --> 00:35:36.139 the Stans, start calling him a prophet and they truly 587 00:35:36.179 --> 00:35:39.500 believe that Graham was here to do God's work. I 588 00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:42.460 mean when you go back to his childhood and he 589 00:35:42.500 --> 00:35:44.880 was sick all the time and everything he cared about 590 00:35:44.900 --> 00:35:46.820 it just didn't pan out. So it got to the 591 00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.000 point where he truly felt like this was why he 592 00:35:49.039 --> 00:35:52.079 went through all that suffering and sickness for the benefit 593 00:35:52.280 --> 00:35:55.829 of the greater good. He's God's gift to America. This 594 00:35:55.889 --> 00:35:58.170 is what he believes. Don't come for me. This is 595 00:35:58.210 --> 00:36:00.150 what he's like. Yeah, it's me. I am a prophet. 596 00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:03.900 The Grammites at this point had expanded and they're growing 597 00:36:03.940 --> 00:36:06.980 and spreading as fast as the herpes on the town Hussey. 598 00:36:07.079 --> 00:36:11.199 They're reading his books, saying their prayers, eating his crackers. 599 00:36:11.500 --> 00:36:16.130 It low-key sounds culty, right? Manson vibes. Kinda. Things are 600 00:36:16.150 --> 00:36:18.789 going well for Graham. Everyone's listening to him and eating 601 00:36:18.829 --> 00:36:21.809 his crackers. He's feeling like a celebrity. But this isn't 602 00:36:21.849 --> 00:36:24.510 our

first rodeo, and we know as people start to 603 00:36:24.530 --> 00:36:29.090 get more money and more power, that's when things take 604 00:36:29.110 --> 00:36:32.000 a little bit of a turn, a sharp left, as 605 00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:34.820 I say. We've all heard of gut instinct, but have 606 00:36:34.840 --> 00:36:37.760 you ever heard of butt instinct? It's when your butt 607 00:36:37.800 --> 00:36:41.300 tells you that you need new undies. Listen to your butt. Luckily, 608 00:36:41.719 --> 00:36:45.630 I work with MeUndies, makers of the most soft, buttery, 609 00:36:46.010 --> 00:36:50.969 sustainable undies, bralettes, and socks that exist. Make your booty 610 00:36:51.050 --> 00:36:55.110 and that pussy and those balls, everything, happy with items 611 00:36:55.179 --> 00:36:59.019 designed to make your life more comfortable. Let your skin 612 00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:02.380 sing a song of joy with undies, socks, and bralettes 613 00:37:02.440 --> 00:37:06.039 that feel as if they're spun from silken clouds. They 614 00:37:06.079 --> 00:37:09.269 are guaranteed to be the softest stuff you've ever felt 615 00:37:09.309 --> 00:37:13.429 in your life. Their signature micromodal fabric is sustainable, breathable, 616 00:37:13.940 --> 00:37:17.260 and super stretchy. I love that. They're also available in 617 00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:20.960 sizes extra small to 4XL and have new colors and 618 00:37:21.019 --> 00:37:24.539 prints dropping weekly. So there's always something exciting to check out. 619 00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:27.179 You can even try their free to join membership for 620 00:37:27.239 --> 00:37:30.420 free shipping on every order and exclusive perks, like an 621 00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:34.119 item shipped to your door every month, secret sales, and 622 00:37:34.300 --> 00:37:37.639 early access to their newest stuff. Keep that pussy happy. 623 00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:40.219 I love MeUndies because they have, oh my gosh, they 624 00:37:40.260 --> 00:37:43.750 have every style of underwear you can imagine. No matter 625 00:37:43.789 --> 00:37:46.570 what type of cut you like, there's always something for you. 626 00:37:47.139 --> 00:37:51.179 My personal favorite is their feel free line, super buttery soft, 627 00:37:51.460 --> 00:37:54.179 and also have a feather light waistband. And the prints 628 00:37:54.219 --> 00:37:56.300 are so cute. I have a bunch of their solid 629 00:37:56.320 --> 00:38:00.699 colored undies, but you know, prints, fun little options to 630 00:38:00.820 --> 00:38:03.869 spice it up a little. MeUndies has a great offer 631 00:38:03.909 --> 00:38:07.489 for you, my listeners. For any first time purchasers, you 632 00:38:07.530 --> 00:38:11.409 get 20% off plus free shipping and returns. To get 633 00:38:11.409 --> 00:38:15.829 20% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% 634 00:38:15.829 --> 00:38:24.969 satisfaction guarantee, go to meetundies.com slash darkhistory. That's meetundies.com slash darkhistory. Okay, 635 00:38:25.010 --> 00:38:29.840 come on this journey with me for a moment. Picture it. Stuffy, religious, 636 00:38:30.019 --> 00:38:33.639 mid-1800s America. You take your seat in like a fancy 637 00:38:33.679 --> 00:38:37.400 new theater that was just built. Maybe you're already a 638 00:38:37.460 --> 00:38:40.239 gramite and you just want some tips on how to 639 00:38:40.300 --> 00:38:44.550 make your graham crackers even more cardboardy. Or maybe you're 640 00:38:44.610 --> 00:38:47.329 new here and your friend Martha from work made you 641 00:38:47.369 --> 00:38:50.889 come with her because, you know, she can't do anything alone. Martha. 642 00:38:51.909 --> 00:38:55.329 Either way, you see this guy, Graham. He takes the 643 00:38:55.369 --> 00:38:58.710 stage and he unrolls a drawing of a vagina and 644 00:38:58.789 --> 00:39:04.110 looks at the audience and shouts, ladies, stop masturbating. It's 645 00:39:04.150 --> 00:39:08.929 killing you and your family. You're probably shocked. I would be. Again, 646 00:39:08.949 --> 00:39:12.070 at this time, people may have been talking about masturbation 647 00:39:12.110 --> 00:39:16.429 and hush, hush, but they were definitely not shown diagrams 648 00:39:16.969 --> 00:39:23.360 of vaginas and definitely not publicly accusing married women of masturbating. 649 00:39:23.699 --> 00:39:26.349 Oh my God, it was completely unheard of at this time. 650 00:39:26.550 --> 00:39:29.429 The audience were probably like, in the name of God, 651 00:39:29.510 --> 00:39:32.739 is that a vagina? Grab me my handbag, Martha. We 652 00:39:32.800 --> 00:39:35.219 are getting out of here. People are just offended is 653 00:39:35.260 --> 00:39:37.690 what I'm getting at. Thank you. But yelling at married 654 00:39:37.750 --> 00:39:40.909 women to stop masturbating wasn't the only talking point Graham 655 00:39:40.949 --> 00:39:43.969 was hitting on his tour. Another favorite of his was 656 00:39:44.070 --> 00:39:48.179 preaching about the evil of store-made bread. Mm. He's like, 657 00:39:48.239 --> 00:39:52.360 this is a vagina. This is your vagina on white bread. 658 00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:55.179 And people are like, what? What do you mean? But 659 00:39:55.219 --> 00:39:58.570 Graham was exposing the fact that bakers were adding copper 660 00:39:58.659 --> 00:40:02.869 and chalk to make their bread and crackers look prettier, whiter, 661 00:40:03.190 --> 00:40:06.750 and last longer, like it's some kind of damn bread 662 00:40:06.829 --> 00:40:11.250 beauty pageant. The ingredients that were being used were ruining 663 00:40:11.329 --> 00:40:15.469 all the nutritional benefits you would normally get or naturally 664 00:40:15.550 --> 00:40:19.050 get from homemade bread. And it sure as shit was 665 00:40:19.289 --> 00:40:23.010 not pure. Graham specifically called out the city bakers and 666 00:40:23.090 --> 00:40:26.550 flour merchants, saying that the wheat they were using was 667 00:40:26.869 -->

00:40:31.750 spoiled and inferior to his flour and his graham crackers. 668 00:40:32.090 --> 00:40:34.590 Which is true because they were using unnatural shit to 669 00:40:34.659 --> 00:40:37.380 make this bread look white and beautiful. What's that gonna 670 00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:39.739 do for you? It doesn't do nothing for you, you know? 671 00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:43.300 Because of all this, it starts to mess with people's businesses. 672 00:40:44.280 --> 00:40:47.300 The bakers and stuff. Graham's preaching had gone from a 673 00:40:47.300 --> 00:40:51.820 little lifestyle change to now like going after big bread businesses. 674 00:40:52.179 --> 00:41:00.849 People stopped eating bakery bread and started distrusting their bakers. Ooh, fighting. 675 00:41:01.070 --> 00:41:03.590 Side note, turns out they still put copper in bread. 676 00:41:03.710 --> 00:41:05.409 I looked it up. I don't know. Are you allowed 677 00:41:05.449 --> 00:41:08.150 to eat this? Is that a good? Let me know. Okay, 678 00:41:08.190 --> 00:41:11.090 so Graham is still on tour and he does a 679 00:41:11.130 --> 00:41:15.019 tour stop in Boston, you know, showing his vagina diagrams. 680 00:41:15.670 --> 00:41:19.179 and his woo-woo books in hand, ready to call out 681 00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:22.280 even more bakers. But what he didn't know was that 682 00:41:22.420 --> 00:41:24.780 word had been spreading, and by the time he got 683 00:41:24.820 --> 00:41:29.210 to Boston, he was public enemy number one. You see, 684 00:41:29.869 --> 00:41:34.849 Boston was the biggest maker of crackers at the time. Yeah, 685 00:41:35.329 --> 00:41:38.280 that's just a joke in itself, but that's funny. Literally, 686 00:41:39.750 --> 00:41:42.670 Boston was the biggest maker of crackers at this time. 687 00:41:42.889 --> 00:41:45.650 As a lot of you can guess, there's lots and 688 00:41:45.769 --> 00:41:50.409 lots of angry flour merchants and bakers living in this area. 689 00:41:50.590 --> 00:41:52.969 And they're ready to rip into Graham because of all 690 00:41:53.070 --> 00:41:56.070 the business and money he had cost them. It's not 691 00:41:56.110 --> 00:41:58.960 just the bakers that are angry, it's the butchers as well, 692 00:41:59.699 --> 00:42:03.920 because Graham was very anti-meat and he had not been 693 00:42:03.960 --> 00:42:07.340 shy about preaching. That as well. I mean, he's messing 694 00:42:07.420 --> 00:42:11.320 with the wrong people. You know, butchers, they butch for 695 00:42:11.340 --> 00:42:14.340 a living with knives and stuff. And like the bakers, 696 00:42:15.510 --> 00:42:17.989 they use equipment. So I just feel like they'd be 697 00:42:18.010 --> 00:42:21.630 a little bit like aggressive in my mind. I don't know. 698 00:42:21.849 --> 00:42:24.769 So there's all these pissed off butchers and bakers running 699 00:42:24.789 --> 00:42:28.670 around town like, you heard of this guy, Graham? I 700 00:42:28.710 --> 00:42:30.809 know him. Like he screwed me over. And then the 701 00:42:30.849 --> 00:42:33.369 other guy is like, yeah, he screwed me over too. 702 00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:36.340 I hate Graham. And everyone's just like, realizing we got 703 00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:40.659 all this in common. We hate Graham. We should work together, 704 00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:42.590 take him down. And that's what they were going to 705 00:42:42.610 --> 00:42:45.750 try to do. This gang of butchers and bakers marched 706 00:42:46.010 --> 00:42:49.030 right down to the hotel where Graham was staying and 707 00:42:49.050 --> 00:42:51.960 they're ready to seek out revenge for the bread lost. 708 00:42:52.500 --> 00:43:00.469 Bread meaning money. So Boston, 1834. There's a pack of 709 00:43:00.550 --> 00:43:05.329 disgruntled bakers and butchers hooting and hollering, screaming for Graham 710 00:43:05.389 --> 00:43:08.090 to meet them by the flagpole. They're like, yo, Graham, 711 00:43:08.130 --> 00:43:11.170 if you're real, man, come get some. So Graham notices 712 00:43:11.190 --> 00:43:13.769 that all these angry butchers and bakers are like yelling 713 00:43:13.849 --> 00:43:16.050 at him from the streets and getting all riled up 714 00:43:16.210 --> 00:43:19.829 and all mad. So what does Graham do? Well, he 715 00:43:19.909 --> 00:43:22.969 hides in the closet. He locks himself inside. He's terrified. 716 00:43:23.030 --> 00:43:25.539 He's not going out there. Are you crazy? I'm gonna 717 00:43:25.559 --> 00:43:27.599 try to die. So he locks himself in his room. 718 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:30.139 Many would say he was being a little bitch, but 719 00:43:30.300 --> 00:43:33.860 you know, he's scared. He's terrified. Anyways, so the Grammites 720 00:43:34.159 --> 00:43:36.829 show up to the hotel as well. And these people 721 00:43:36.869 --> 00:43:40.250 will do anything to defend their leader. So they climb 722 00:43:40.269 --> 00:43:42.150 the stairs all the way up to the top of 723 00:43:42.190 --> 00:43:45.409 the hotel. They end up making it onto the roof 724 00:43:45.449 --> 00:43:48.170 of the hotel where they can see all the angry 725 00:43:48.250 --> 00:43:50.929 bakers and butchers down below. And this is where it 726 00:43:50.989 --> 00:43:55.650 goes from angry riot to full on chemical attack. Oh yes, 727 00:43:55.989 --> 00:44:00.170 you see the Grammites, they dumped buckets of calcium hydroxide 728 00:44:00.710 --> 00:44:04.570 on the bakers and butchers down below. Well, what's calcium 729 00:44:04.590 --> 00:44:08.429 hydroxide if you don't know? It's a full-on acid. Have 730 00:44:08.469 --> 00:44:12.150 you ever experienced a chemical burn from the spiral perm? Yeah, 731 00:44:12.389 --> 00:44:16.550 that burning sensation you're feeling is from calcium hydroxide. And 732 00:44:16.610 --> 00:44:19.389 if used alone in big amounts, it could, it could 733 00:44:19.409 --> 00:44:22.420 freaking burn you, blind you. If you got that dumped 734 00:44:22.480 --> 00:44:26.019 on your face, oh baby

girl, Lisa, your flesh would 735 00:44:26.059 --> 00:44:30.139 just melt right off. So bakers and butchers were screaming 736 00:44:30.159 --> 00:44:34.099 bloody murder in the streets because the Grammites up above 737 00:44:34.239 --> 00:44:38.280 are dumping buckets of this chemical down below. And now, 738 00:44:38.300 --> 00:44:41.000 you know, these people down below are going freaking blind. 739 00:44:41.099 --> 00:44:43.599 And not only that, they're coughing up the acid that 740 00:44:43.619 --> 00:44:46.920 they inhaled because it's burning them from the inside out. 741 00:44:47.360 --> 00:44:48.940 It was a scene out of a horror movie, let 742 00:44:48.960 --> 00:44:52.500 me tell you. Eventually, the rioters back down. And even 743 00:44:52.550 --> 00:44:55.699 though he and his Grammites technically won this battle, this 744 00:44:55.739 --> 00:44:58.650 was very upsetting to Gramm. It spooked him real good. 745 00:44:58.969 --> 00:45:01.610 He didn't want violence. He didn't think his haters were 746 00:45:01.630 --> 00:45:04.030 gonna like show up and try to kill him. I mean, 747 00:45:04.050 --> 00:45:06.130 he was just trying to make people's lives better in 748 00:45:06.170 --> 00:45:08.920 his eyes, you know? Bring them closer to God. Can't 749 00:45:08.940 --> 00:45:11.500 we all just get along? But the Boston riot would 750 00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:14.579 continue to bite Graham in the ass. The riots were 751 00:45:14.699 --> 00:45:18.150 all over the newspapers and the press was not on 752 00:45:18.210 --> 00:45:21.429 his side, even though he didn't even start it. Graham 753 00:45:21.489 --> 00:45:25.889 and his followers were now associated with violence. So the 754 00:45:25.929 --> 00:45:29.139 Graham movement at this point starts to slow down. and 755 00:45:29.159 --> 00:45:31.980 the spotlight on Mr. Graham starts to dim. And once 756 00:45:32.019 --> 00:45:34.539 the spotlight was off of him, people just kind of 757 00:45:34.639 --> 00:45:37.550 moved on. Graham kept going on with his preaching for 758 00:45:37.610 --> 00:45:42.670 as long as he could, but by 1839, he officially retires. 759 00:45:43.150 --> 00:45:50.090 And great timing, Graham, because during the mid-1800s, This is 760 00:45:50.150 --> 00:45:53.090 when like the world was getting more modern, at least 761 00:45:53.219 --> 00:45:58.980 in America. America's growing. Technology is advancing. And in the 762 00:45:59.039 --> 00:46:03.820 new future, religion was taking a backseat to science. Plus, 763 00:46:04.019 --> 00:46:08.519 Graham's main audience, women, were starting to gain their own independence. 764 00:46:09.019 --> 00:46:12.030 In the kitchen, they were using new inventions like stoves, 765 00:46:12.769 --> 00:46:18.909 electric mixers. Oh, what? Electric mixer? Can openers? Oh, shit. 766 00:46:19.489 --> 00:46:22.070 It's the future, baby. So women are spending less time 767 00:46:22.110 --> 00:46:24.650 in the kitchen and doing other things with their time, 768 00:46:24.690 --> 00:46:28.380 like going outside, flying a kite maybe, we don't know. 769 00:46:29.059 --> 00:46:32.440 Not just stuck at home baking graham crackers. Overall, what 770 00:46:32.460 --> 00:46:35.619 I'm getting at is women are becoming more independent. They 771 00:46:35.639 --> 00:46:37.409 don't need no man. They don't need to follow this 772 00:46:37.469 --> 00:46:40.090 man's diet. They don't need a kitchen, none of that. 773 00:46:40.639 --> 00:46:45.400 They don't want to listen. No. In 1851, Graham passes away. Now, 774 00:46:45.480 --> 00:46:47.579 I hope his pure heart took him right to his 775 00:46:47.659 --> 00:46:50.429 VIP sweet in heaven. And this is a side note. 776 00:46:50.710 --> 00:46:52.789 I'm not laughing. It's just like I want to know, like, 777 00:46:52.829 --> 00:46:55.170 how did he die? What was his life like before 778 00:46:55.190 --> 00:47:00.130 he died? And there's literally not that much information out 779 00:47:00.170 --> 00:47:02.030 there at all. It's just kind of like he just, 780 00:47:02.429 --> 00:47:06.050 I don't know, he just dies one day. But rumor 781 00:47:06.110 --> 00:47:13.679 has it. that Sylvester Graham, his cause of death, opium enema. 782 00:47:15.559 --> 00:47:18.199 Opium enema. Yeah, I don't know if he was shooting 783 00:47:18.300 --> 00:47:21.699 opium up the butt or what. I don't know, but 784 00:47:21.739 --> 00:47:23.739 you know, good for him. What a way to go. 785 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:27.050 Sounds like a party in your ass. I want in. 786 00:47:30.539 --> 00:47:33.679 You're probably wondering, well, okay, Bailey, like this story has 787 00:47:33.719 --> 00:47:35.820 so many layers to it and so much information. I 788 00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:38.639 thought we were talking about graham crackers, right? What happened 789 00:47:38.659 --> 00:47:43.710 to the graham cracker? How did it go from being gross, blah, 790 00:47:44.210 --> 00:47:49.829 anti-masturbation bread to basically a delicious treat at 2 a.m. 791 00:47:49.849 --> 00:47:52.170 in the morning with crumbs all over my bed? Well, 792 00:47:52.210 --> 00:47:54.050 I don't think this is the best part of the story, 793 00:47:54.110 --> 00:47:58.369 but like, this is petite. Because remember those Boston bakers 794 00:47:58.409 --> 00:48:02.679 that Graham's followers dumped acid on? Well, plot fucking twist. 795 00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:06.820 They banded together and continued to have each other's backs 796 00:48:07.079 --> 00:48:13.059 for years. And eventually, they formed one big company. Oh, 797 00:48:13.139 --> 00:48:17.389 you may know this company. It's the National Biscuit Company. 798 00:48:18.289 --> 00:48:24.550 Or maybe as you know them today, Nabisco. Yeah! Whoops, 799 00:48:24.690 --> 00:48:28.210 shouldn't have burned those guys' faces off because they got together. 800 00:48:29.190 --> 00:48:34.159 Come for you, Graham. You. Years later, they roll out 801 00:48:34.179 -->

00:48:40.460 a certain sugary, cinnamony, rectangular cookie that looks a lot 802 00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:46.199 like Graham's famous crackers. Huh, but the difference? They taste 803 00:48:47.099 --> 00:48:55.119 way better. Oh yeah, they're everything Graham preached against. Indulgent. Mm-hmm. Crispy, crunchy, delicious. 804 00:48:55.760 --> 00:48:58.409 And if that wasn't a big enough slap in the face, 805 00:48:58.949 --> 00:49:03.889 Nabisco went ahead and named this new delicious cracker the 806 00:49:04.010 --> 00:49:09.650 Graham Cracker. Yeah, that's right. Graham's name. Graham's name makes 807 00:49:09.670 --> 00:49:14.010 Nabisco a ton of money. They even ran advertisements where 808 00:49:14.050 --> 00:49:17.570 they shit on the original Graham Cracker, calling it so 809 00:49:17.650 --> 00:49:21.559 tasteless and uninviting that it almost reflects a prescription. What 810 00:49:21.579 --> 00:49:23.840 they're doing is they're trying to slander Graham's name. They're 811 00:49:23.860 --> 00:49:25.900 just like trying to drag him through the mud. And 812 00:49:25.920 --> 00:49:29.590 that's how you did it. Tasteless and uninviting. It almost 813 00:49:29.619 --> 00:49:33.070 requires a prescription. Those are fighting words back then. This 814 00:49:33.329 --> 00:49:38.449 new Nabisco graham cracker was everything Graham hated. Nabisco is 815 00:49:38.469 --> 00:49:41.769 the kind of petty queen that Honestly, kind of love 816 00:49:41.809 --> 00:49:45.250 to see it, but you know, it's kind of funny, 817 00:49:45.429 --> 00:49:47.889 but not really, but kind of. I don't really know. 818 00:49:47.909 --> 00:49:52.960 I just know I like graham crackers. They are dedicated 819 00:49:53.039 --> 00:49:56.440 to the petty because they still sell this version of 820 00:49:56.500 --> 00:49:59.710 the graham cracker which is the one we know today. 821 00:49:59.829 --> 00:50:03.349 The story was wild. And honestly, a little all over 822 00:50:03.409 --> 00:50:07.449 the place, especially since this is all about the graham cracker. 823 00:50:07.469 --> 00:50:10.309 And there's so much we had to leave out of 824 00:50:10.349 --> 00:50:13.610 this story just because it's insane, you guys. I could 825 00:50:13.630 --> 00:50:16.849 do a four-part series on this whole graham guy and 826 00:50:16.889 --> 00:50:20.760 just everything because he essentially started this diet that we 827 00:50:20.820 --> 00:50:24.929 still kind of follow today. Not necessarily the, like, masturbation 828 00:50:24.949 --> 00:50:30.079 and all that, but, like, clean eating, drinking water, going outside, exercising, 829 00:50:30.199 --> 00:50:34.139 good sleep. Like, all the basics is exactly what Graham 830 00:50:34.440 --> 00:50:37.590 believed as well, plus the religious side of things. So 831 00:50:37.639 --> 00:50:40.010 it's like he's kind of the guy that started it all. 832 00:50:40.250 --> 00:50:42.909 Isn't it weird? It's like this one guy who's kind 833 00:50:42.949 --> 00:50:46.320 of weird. We, uh... We took it and ran with it. 834 00:50:46.429 --> 00:50:48.670 But I'm just dying to know who you thought had 835 00:50:48.710 --> 00:50:53.030 the wildest backstory. Popcorn or graham crackers? Let me know 836 00:50:53.070 --> 00:50:55.760 down below. Look, ultimately, Graham wanted us to take care 837 00:50:55.780 --> 00:50:59.320 of ourselves so we could live happy, healthy lives and 838 00:50:59.360 --> 00:51:01.840 go to heaven. And look, he was right about a 839 00:51:01.860 --> 00:51:05.380 few things. Filtered water is definitely better for you than 840 00:51:05.480 --> 00:51:09.719 shit water. It literally saved the Grahamites' lives from cholera. 841 00:51:10.260 --> 00:51:12.539 And if you're thinking, how did anyone fall for all 842 00:51:12.559 --> 00:51:14.619 of that Graham stuff? Well, just think of all the 843 00:51:14.659 --> 00:51:18.119 stupid food things you've believed before. For me in middle school, 844 00:51:18.820 --> 00:51:22.639 everyone thought that green Skittles made your boobs bigger and 845 00:51:22.659 --> 00:51:25.710 the orange ones made you horny. We believe that, you know? 846 00:51:25.730 --> 00:51:27.630 I don't know about you guys. If you had something 847 00:51:27.650 --> 00:51:29.269 like that in school, let me know. But I think 848 00:51:29.289 --> 00:51:31.989 the big takeaway here is that we assume food is 849 00:51:32.050 --> 00:51:36.750 created to be like tasty, nutritious, and simply just food 850 00:51:36.949 --> 00:51:39.510 when like so much of it is designed to taste 851 00:51:39.550 --> 00:51:43.710 like cardboard and like stop you from, it always has 852 00:51:43.750 --> 00:51:46.949 some kind of other meaning. I've been going down so 853 00:51:46.969 --> 00:51:50.360 many food rabbit holes. I think this whole season might 854 00:51:50.449 --> 00:51:54.940 just be about food. I would actually love that, but 855 00:51:54.960 --> 00:51:56.659 I'm not gonna do that. But I would love that. 856 00:51:56.940 --> 00:52:01.920 Eat your Skittles, let your boobs grow, eat other healthy stuff. 857 00:52:02.420 --> 00:52:06.710 And if you feel like it, maybe masturbate. Because if 858 00:52:06.769 --> 00:52:10.590 it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. You know, 859 00:52:10.710 --> 00:52:18.590 if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. 860 00:52:18.769 --> 00:52:21.150 I hope I win a Grammy. And look, to be honest, 861 00:52:21.349 --> 00:52:24.570 after this episode, I never want to see a graham 862 00:52:24.610 --> 00:52:28.170 cracker ever again because I don't even care if it's 863 00:52:28.210 --> 00:52:30.750 a s'more. And that says a lot because I love 864 00:52:30.809 --> 00:52:35.519 a s'more. There's just so much about graham. Oh, man, 865 00:52:35.539 --> 00:52:38.860 so many layers to this man. I'm exhausted of this man. 866 00:52:39.099 --> 00:52:43.050 In conclusion, the next time I masturbate, Graham, I'm going 867 00:52:43.070 --> 00:52:45.869 to be thinking about you, baby. Well, everyone, thank you 868 00:52:45.909 --> 00:52:49.070 for learning with me today. I hope you learned something new. 869 00:52:49.289 --> 00:52:51.489 You'll never look at a graham cracker the same, right? 870 00:52:51.510 --> 00:52:54.690 You'll be like, this used to stop people from masturbating. 871 00:52:54.849 --> 00:52:57.670 And that's a fun story to tell your friends, isn't it? 872 00:52:58.510 --> 00:53:00.829 Come on, we need conversation to talk about these days. 873 00:53:01.170 --> 00:53:03.050 This is a good one. Remember, don't be afraid to 874 00:53:03.090 --> 00:53:06.449 ask questions to get the whole story because you and 875 00:53:06.489 --> 00:53:08.909 we all deserve that. I'd love to hear your guys' 876 00:53:08.969 --> 00:53:12.769 reaction to this story. So over on social media, make 877 00:53:12.829 --> 00:53:15.639 sure to use the hashtag dark history so I can 878 00:53:16.679 --> 00:53:18.539 see what you guys are talking about. I come and look, 879 00:53:18.840 --> 00:53:21.659 I see you, see you. Join me over on my 880 00:53:21.699 --> 00:53:24.760 YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after 881 00:53:24.820 --> 00:53:28.199 the podcast airs. And while you're there, Don't forget to 882 00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:31.320 check out my murder mystery makeup. I hope you have 883 00:53:31.340 --> 00:53:35.059 a wonderful day today. You make good choices and you 884 00:53:35.079 --> 00:53:37.699 keep your hands out of your pants. I'll be talking 885 00:53:37.719 --> 00:53:43.139 to you next week. Goodbye. This podcast is executive produced 886 00:53:43.159 --> 00:53:48.679 by me, Bailey Sarian, Kimberly Jacobs, Dunya McNeely from Three Arts, 887 00:53:49.159 --> 00:53:52.159 Kevin Grush, and Claire Turner. Big thank you to the writers, 888 00:53:52.360 --> 00:53:58.190 Allison Filobos, Joey Scavuzzo, Katie Burris, and me, Bailey Sarian, hi. 889 00:53:58.949 --> 00:54:04.170 Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Nemarundwe and Lily Young. Research 890 00:54:04.210 --> 00:54:08.909 provided by Ashley Spurgeon. A big thank you to our expert, 891 00:54:09.210 --> 00:54:14.289 Adam Spritzen, PhD. Oh, and I'm last. I'm your host, 892 00:54:14.369 --> 00:54:17.289 Bailey Sarian. Why am I last on the list of 893 00:54:17.449 --> 00:54:23.070 my show? You would think I'd be at the top, right, Paul? Oh, Joan, Joan, hey, girl. 894 00:54:24.190 --> 00:54:28.599 You still got the vibrator? What is that? That's a s'more? 895 00:54:28.739 --> 00:54:30.619 Looks like a vibrator. It's on stick.