About this podcast
National Association of Christian Women Leaders Founder, Karen Zeigler interviews various thought leaders in a weekly podcast series. Each week Karen explores the topics important to Christian women who are leading or aspiring to be the leaders God has called them to be.
Episodes (Total: 26 / Page: 1)
Aug. 5, 2016 · 00:22:00
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. “She has a plan. She considers some land and buys it; then with her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She wraps herself in strength, carries herself with confidence, and works hard, strengthening her arms for the task at hand.” Proverbs 31:16-17 VOICE Max Lucado wrote, “Blessed are those who know what on earth they are here on earth to do and set themselves about the business of doing it.” Thus, it’s important that we ask God to reveal His plan for our lives so we can confidently and passionately go about working toward such business. Knowing what God’s plans are for our lives allows us to be confidant in the direction we are heading in. Zeal is the fuel that keeps us going forward. Here are several building blocks that God works within and through us as we diligently go about His business. Plan, Purpose & Passion - As followers of Christ we can be confident that God has a good plan and a greater purpose for our lives as we seek to carry out His kingdom work. We need to realize that true passion can never be assigned to us by others, it is found within each individual. It’s that inner zeal that causes you to arise and pursue the things you profoundly know God has called and is fashioning you to accomplish. The Lord says, “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15 NJKV Pause, Preparation & Patience – Passion and purpose that lacks proper understanding and preparation can be regarded as foolishness. We can easily rush ahead in trying to fulfill God’s plans rather than patiently wait for Him to gradually unfold them. It is wise for us to remember that God is not in a hurry to get us to the place where we zealously want to arrive at. Why? Because passion used wrongly can actually injure others, dishonor God’s name, and bring harm toward ourselves. God often has to do a work in us before He does mightier works through us. “Patiently wait for it to unfold in God’s full timing.” Isaiah 52:12 VOICE The Apostle Paul is a perfect example of someone who was known to have great zeal. At first he used his “zeal” wrongly in persecuting Christians. However, shortly after his Damascus Road encounter with Jesus, God turned Paul’s “passion” into a noble cause of preaching the good news about Jesus being God’s Anointed one. (Read full story in the book of Acts). Progress, Provision & Power – God often gives us opportunities where we can practice on a smaller field that is similar to what we hope and aim to do on a larger level in the future. When we successfully handle these smaller opportunities our confidence rises within. These smaller God-ordained practice rounds have a way of perfecting us for what is yet to come. Not only that, but God is confident that we are more equipped and skilled to handle the greater tasks He will eventually bring our way. God also supplies the provisions needed to fulfill the vision He gives us. He also blesses us with the power of His Holy Spirit; who helps us to grow and mature in the fruits of the Spirit so we can effectively use the gifts and talents God entrusts to our care for the building up of His people and for the advancement of His church. “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.” Romans 12:11 NIV No matter which road God currently has us traveling, we need to remain confident that what God calls us to do, He will help us accomplish it well. We only need to stay the course and make it our daily passion to run the race the Lord has marked out for us. As we passionately pursue the things God assigns us—individually and collectively—we can be confident that God is strategically arranging circumstances on our behalf. He does not call us to lose, He calls us to win! "And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great." Job 8:7 ESV Questions: Do you truly know what on earth God has you here for? Are you confident and zealous toward accomplishing and fulfilling your God-ordained assignments?   Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
July 19, 2016 · 00:22:15
What does it mean to yield? Yield: incline to give in; submissive or compliant The definition seems counter-intuitive to what we view as confident.  However, being compliant/submissive to God’s will is the BEST way to have confidence.  The confidence comes from believing that God’s plan is the best for our lives. Often times we are confident in God’s outcome but not in His process. Yielding means submitting to his process not just the outcome. Yielding means submitting to his process not just the outcome. Signs You are Not Yielding How do you know if you are NOT yielding?  There is unrest, chaos, and absence of peace.  When you are yielding to God’s plan and process you will have unexplainable peace.  That peace results in confidence. Worldly peace comes from being prepared and in control.  Godly peace comes from trusting his process and being comfortable with the lack of control you have in a situation. Misconception yielding means you lack confidence or are weak.  It actually takes greater strength to yield our own plans to those of another.  Humility is related to yielding – one must be humble to yield their hopes, dreams, and plans to those of another. Confidence comes from knowing the one we are yielding to has our best interest at heart.
July 8, 2016 · 00:32:53
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Q: Why are we talking about X - X for eXperience? We choose Experience for our X because Experience is the “X Factor” for so many aspects of life. Whether you have it, or don’t have it; whether it was a good, bad, or ugly experience - experience colors how we see ourselves and our situations. When you are facing a challenge or something new, all the experiences in your life are what inform your perspective on the challenge, and impact your expectations of the result. When you’re LEARNING something new, it’s your experience that creates a foundation for - and helps you truly understand the things you are learning. It can affect our level of optimism, as well as our energy. Experience does several things that has a huge impact on our Confidence: Experience colors our expectations. Experience helps us prepare. Experience allows us to test our knowledge and ideas. All of these things play a role in molding our identity - our self-image. Experience is the X factor because it helps us both create and know who we are. Experience (and the lack of it) plays a huge role in our identity. Listen to the podcast to hear the answer to these questions: Q: What do I do if I don’t HAVE experience? How can I still be confident? Q: This can be hard - valuing the steps along the way as “experience.” Is there something we can do to help us see and value the experience of “doing?” Q: How do I show my experience without being prideful or discouraging others? Q: What do I do if I’ve gotten experience and still don’t feel confident? Q: Something you said toward the beginning of our time together was that experience can affect our optimism and energy. What is the importance of that? “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” ― Henry Ford Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
June 28, 2016 · 00:27:28
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. WISDOM is W - Women I - Inspired S - Saved D - Disciplined O - Obedient to the M - Master. What a great acronym for WISDOM! Wisdom is the ability to think and act using the knowledge that we’ve gained through the years, the experiences that we’ve gone through, the understanding that we’ve gathered from all of life, the common sense that God has given us and finally insight. It can be considered as a virtue. As a virtue, it’s a habit or even a disposition to perform the actions with the highest degree of adequacy and understanding in whatever circumstances that we find ourselves. When we apply the wisdom that we possess and the knowledge that we have and when we have the willingness to apply this wisdom to our given circumstances, I think that this involves a lot of understanding people, understanding different situations and events that’s going on around us. And having the willingness as well as the ability to apply our perception and judgement in an appropriate way. That’s the way that I think of wisdom. It’s not just getting information and understanding. It goes even further, it’s insight. It’s having the insight to make the right decision. Knowledge is acquiring information and wisdom is applying and using that information to make informed decisions. As women, we are the more emotional of the genders. Having wisdom helps us to control our emotional reactions in the various situations we find ourselves. The universal principle of reason prevails to determine our action. When we rely on our emotions, sometimes we tend to do and say things that we don’t want. In short, wisdom is a disposition to find the truth and coupled with an optimum judgement as to what option should be taken. When we have wisdom that comes from God it elevates our confidence to a whole other level. This is when we know, understand and are able to use the insight that God has given us to make good and sound decisions in our lives, our business, our family and our ministry. It causes us to walk around with our head held up and our shoulders back because we have confidence in God and not in ourselves. If we ask God for wisdom, he promises to give it to us. When we tap into our God-given wisdom, we can confidently help others. As leaders, which everybody is by the way, we must lead ourselves first before we can effectively lead others. I Kings 3, Solomon asked for wisdom to lead God’s people not wealth and long life. As a result of him not asking for riches and honor, God gave him those things in addition to the wisdom and discernment that he requested. With wisdom you can live a life that is meaningful and one that matters. Steps you can take to acquire wisdom: • Read the book of Proverbs, one chapter per day for months with 31 days. Just reading a verse or a proverb a day is a sure way to increase your wisdom especially if you are applying what you are reading to your life on a daily basis. Solomon was the wisest and riches man who ever lived • Read the wisdom literature of the Bible such as Psalm, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, as well as other books that are chock full of wisdom. • Surround yourself with people who are wise. Sitting at the feet of people who can coach and mentor you to live a full and abundant life is key. As a coach, it’s been very rewarding seeing the light goes on for my clients when they understand this important element in growing and becoming more for God. Some of the roadblocks to seeing and becoming aware of the wisdom that is already inside of you: • Lack of self-confidence – becoming aware of what you have inside of you and who you are is critical in dismantling this roadblock. • Fear – This is one of the most debilitating force in our lives. • Ignorance – sometimes we just don’t know or recognize when someone is trying to instill wisdom in us. My grandmother was a woman full of wisdom. She, along with my father, raised me for the first eight years of my life. My father was 45 when I was born. On a daily basis wisdom was being poured into me but most of what they would say seemed like rubbish to me. I was very ignorant and did not understand most of what they were saying. Now, I can see how all of what they instilled in me is paying off. Whatever mistakes you’ve made and whatever you’ve been through in life, you can gain wisdom from it because those experiences have the potential to be the greatest teachers in your lives. Reflecting, evaluating and looking back to see what can be done differently to change the situation and circumstances of your life. You are not alone in this. God has put people in your life to help you along in this. Get someone to coach you, to come along side you to propel you forward. Everything that we go through is content for not only helping us to be more and better for God but also for helping others to be more and better for God. We are surrounded by so many people that are full of wisdom. I think of Solomon and so many examples in the Bible and in our lives today, which is one of the reasons I have become a John Maxwell Certified Coach because of the wisdom that I gain from my affiliation with such an organization. As I gain wisdom, I am able to pass that on to my family, my ministry, my clients and those around me. I think about the words from Proverbs 1 and I know we can all find comfort in knowing that God will grant us wisdom if we ask. 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June 22, 2016 · 00:20:47
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Confidence Through Living Our Values Values are the essence of who we are. Not knowing who we are creates instability and prohibts us from walking in confidence. Values are special unique God-given gifts inside of each of us that are the anchor keeping us in line with walking in confidence. When we don't live according to our God's unique design we quickly get off center. Feelings of insecurity and uncertainty arise that kill our confidence. Walking in our God-given gifts are important because they help us to harness our balance.  They eliminate the wasted energy spent on second guessing ourselves.  Values based decisions, make decision making easy. Keeping in alignment with our values is as important as brushing your teeth or taking a daily vitamin. Values are about what burdens or angers you, what enlivens you and awakens you. Our values are who we are at our very core. Understanding your values is key to walking confidently into the woman leader you are called to be. If you aren't familiar with your values you can take a free online assessment here. Steps to Increasing Confidence Through Living Your Values Know what your values are and align your life with them Understand how your values show up in your home, work, volunteering and relationships Look for ways to increase the play of your values in those areas Review your calendar to see how you can align your schedule for the day with your values Once you are aligned you can produce the fruit you are designed to produce. Being out of alignment causes us frustration trying to produce results from something we are not called to do. It's like trying to get apples from an orange tree. It just won't happen.  The enemy distracts us with many good things to get us off the path of the God thing we are destined for. Anytime we start a sentence with "I should", that is an indicator that there are wrong motives and underlying influences behind this decision; "I should do this...I should do that".  These are signs of manipulation and guilt, assigned to shame you into a decision.  When this is happening, there's actually a belief system trying to overtake our truth. Women tend to often deny the truth of their inner voice which guides them through the filter of "This is what I can do". Instead, they fall for the manipulating voices of "I should". As soon as this happens, misalignment is inevitable, which initiates a downward spiral fall. While systems and steps are great, ultimately, the best way to live based on values is to stay in the Word of God...The Bible.  Remaining in the Word keeps us truly balanced because it shapes and develops our values as a Child of God. Standing on His Word causes us to truly be confident, not in ourselves, but in the finished works of Christ. And that is the kind of confidence that can't be broken or disappointed. Because He's already done the work, we just need to believe and receive. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
May 24, 2016 · 00:19:28
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! - Psalm 133:1 NLT God created us to be in relationship with others. Beginning at birth we experience interaction with people via family and friends, attending school, the work place, church community, and through hobbies and other interests. Being comfortable with who you are, having confidence in the things you aspire to do, knowing what areas you are strong and weak in helps you to grow and interact with others in a healthy and unified way. When we unite and there’s unity among us; amazing things manifest as each person contributes to the greater cause and prosperity of others. However, when discord is present it can gravely affect individuals and the outcome that is desired. Disagreements, conflicts and egotistical individuals, can actually tear down people’s self-esteem. Therefore, unity among others, even when there are differences involved, is detrimental to the wellness of all involved. A iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. -Proverbs 27:17 NLT Over the past few years I’ve been leading women’s small groups for my church. The longest one has been a Christian women’s writers group. During each semester I’m amazed over the many things that transpire and occur within each lady attending. At first, some members are intimidated by not knowing who else is going to be part of our small group community. However, overtime they become at ease and more confident in communicating and helping one another. One key factor for this taking place is that there’s unity within the group. There is no desire to compete, criticize or compare each other’s works. Each lady is confident in what she is working on while remaining open to receiving help in areas that she is weaker in. As we assertively work together critiquing each other’s works, each member becomes more confident in what she aspires to write. The body has many different parts, not just one part. -1 Corinthians 12:14 NLT A woman who is confident in who she is, what she does and the direction she is heading in, has a special way about her that stands out and can actually be contagious. Why? Because she is comfortable in being herself. In fact, she is actually a blessing to others. She is confident in what she is strong in and is more apt to reach out to help, encourage, and inspire those in her circle of influence. She is confident when she is weak and is more apt to ask for help, be willing to learn something new and to grow. Here are a few steps you can take that will improve your confidence, bring unity in the communities you are a part of, and help increase confidence in others. • Instead of competing - be confident in what you aspire to do while encouraging and helping others complete what they aim to achieve. • Instead of criticizing – offer constructive-criticism that build others up. Learn to embrace, enjoy and benefit from the giftedness of others while using the skills and talents you are strong and confident in doing. • Instead of comparing – be generous with your compliments to others. Accept that God has wired everyone differently. What works for you may not be true for someone else. One final note - God does amazing things through His people when they unite, bring their strengths and weaknesses to the table, and work effectively together. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
May 12, 2016 · 00:18:50
May 12, 2016 · 00:25:28
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Confidence is a necessary ingredient to living our best life. We need the confidence to be successful in business, in relationships, in any area we wish to make our mark in the world. Confidence can’t be built on how we look, regardless of what advertisers want us to believe. We groom ourselves because it makes us feel better and when we look "put together," it’s easier for people to receive us. (Someone said, “Confidence is the best makeup you could ever wear!”) But as important as personal grooming is, we can’t depend on looks to give us confidence. If we depend upon looks to boost our confidence, then we end up comparing ourselves to others. Unfortunately, there will always be someone younger or “prettier” than we are...definitely not a confidence builder. Confidence can’t be built on our accomplishments. Accomplishments are important and achieving is actually one of the five pillars of well-being. But if we tie our confidence to our accomplishments, we keep ourselves small because we end up fearing failure and resist taking risks that are necessary to grow and succeed. Think back to when you were a kid – you didn’t worry about confidence – you took risks, tried new things, and learned by doing. When you fell off your bike, you didn’t say, “I’m stupid – I can’t ride a bike!” No, you said: “This is a stupid bike!” When you first tied your shoes, you were terrible at it. But you didn’t say, “I’m never doing that again. I’m no good at it!” You borrowed someone else’s confidence. They showed you, let you practice and encouraged you to keep practicing, until one day you did it all by yourself! Now it no longer takes confidence for you to attempt to tie your shoes – you just do it. Confidence Killer Fortunately, confidence is a skill we can learn and cultivate in any area of our life. But to do that we must get rid of the biggest confidence killer - Fear! Scripture has a lot to say about fear and how to get rid of it. Two of my favorite scriptures for dealing with fear are: 2 Tim 1:7 “For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a strong mind.” 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear. Whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Love is the key to confidence because love extinguishes fear. God is love and He created us in His image. He made us to run on love. And now science is catching up with scripture and discovering the impact that love has on us. Science describes love as “shared positive emotions.” Love is Shared Positive Emotion Positive emotions like gratitude, kindness, joy, awe, and pride are necessary for each of us to thrive as human beings. We can experience each of these emotions on our own. But when we share a positive emotion with another person, it becomes love. There’s a song that says, “love isn't love till you give it away.” Well according to science, love isn't love unless you share it. Love isn't something you keep. It is made to be shared with pairs and groups of people. When we experience a positive emotion with another person, everything changes. Benefits of love: Love actually changes the neural wiring of our brains and it triggers parallel changes in another person’s body and brain. And now that science has been studying love for the past 20 years, there are measurements and data to help us understand a little better how God wired each of us to be love transmitters and love receivers. Science has actually proven that this tiny emotion is what broadens and builds each of us. It makes us better, bigger, stronger, and while we are experiencing it, it makes the person we are sharing the emotion with bigger, better, and stronger! Love Breeds Confidence and Strength Love makes us more open to others. It expands our vision and helps remove prejudices and barriers that keep us apart. The more loving interactions we have, the better prepared we are to face difficulties. Love builds our inner resources, increases our confidence, and helps us break out of self-absorption. According to Dr. Barbara Frederickson, research scientist and author of Love 2.0, even micro-moments of love between strangers can set off upward spirals in our life, self-sustaining trajectories of growth that lift us up to become better versions of ourselves. According to her broaden-and-build theory, love is the supreme emotion that makes us come fully alive and is perhaps an essential emotional experience for thriving and health. Within each moment of loving connection, we become sincerely invested in another person’s well-being, simply for his or her own sake. And the feeling is mutual. Love is Connection There are three elements of this amazing, confidence-building connection with others that we call love: Sharing, at least, one positive emotion with another person. Bio-behavioral synchrony: This describes the biochemical and behavioral changes that occur when you lean in, smile, and share meaningful verbal and nonverbal looks of care and concern. There must be a real-time connection, either in person or on the phone, to be able to experience bio-behavioral synchrony with another person. (You can’t get in sync with a text or an email.) Positive mutual regard. Both people must be willing to invest in each other, even if for just a moment. We can easily experience this connection with our loved ones, but we experience micro-moments of love with total strangers too: when you go to a ball game and your team scores, total strangers start hugging you and slapping you on the back; or when you smile at the person checking you out at the grocery store and they smile back at you. These are all moments of love where you shared a positive emotion with someone and for an instant, there was biological and behavioral synchrony between you and a willingness to invest in each other’s well-being. These brief moments actually make you and the person you share them with, stronger and more confident. Confidence builders: There are simple things you can begin doing immediately to build your confidence. Smile –The best smile is when you mimic another person’s smile or when they mimic yours. You feel an instant connection. Try it! Look people in the eye: Not in a challenging way, but in a way that is meaningful. Most people go through their day feeling invisible, so making eye contact is a way of saying, “You matter!” Write down three ways that other people have benefited your life and then share it with them. Dr. Robert Emmons, who has spent nearly his entire career studying gratitude, has found that few things in life are as integral to our well-being as the practice of gratitude. His research shows that practicing gratitude has amazing health benefits like strengthening the immune system, lowering blood pressure, decreasing depression, increasing energy and helping you get quality sleep (which is why you should count your blessings at night instead of counting sheep!) Gratitude makes your relationships better and helps you become resilient and more confident. Designate a “Kindness Day.” My dad always used to say that if you ever felt down, the quickest cure was to help someone else up. As kids, we learned never to complain to him because he would load us up in the car and take us with him to visit the nursing home, or tell us to cut the elderly neighbor’s grass or something equally horrifying to a teenager. But it turns out my dad was smarter than I knew. Scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise they’ve ever tested. Love is the most powerful force on the planet! Don’t miss out on your chance to harness it and grow your confidence! Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
May 12, 2016 · 00:23:37
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Trust is defined as “firm belief in the reliability, ability, or strength of someone or something.” When we have confidence we are pretty good with ourselves but do we trust other people? Do we have confidence in other people? Trust and confidence go hand in hand. If you don’t have confidence in someone’s ability, you may not trust their ability. So our confidence is not just in ourselves, confidence and how we carry it out really has to do with the confidence we have in others and if we trust them or not. Trust is a two-way street. To reach its greatest potential, trust has to allow inner action in two directions – between two different people. Everything that we get from God whether its love, grace or mercy, can’t stop with us, they have to flow through us to others so it makes sense that confidence or trust is on that same list. God entrusts us with our gifts and talents to do things and that trust can’t stop with us, it has to flow to other people as well. So how do we begin to know if someone is trustworthy or to have faith to put trust in other people? We obviously don’t live on an island and we all have to cooperate and work with people, so how do we know someone is trustworthy? The question of “can I trust you” is pretty much on our minds when we interact with other people, and when we meet someone for the first time, though we usually we aren’t consciously aware of asking it. Basic trust is based on truth. Qualities of a trustworthy person: Trustworthy people have to be truthful. When someone says something we hope they are telling us the truth and maybe later we find that they lied to us. Even white lies can be dismissed, but what we may perceive as harmless or even beneficial may not be so in the eyes of the deceived. Trustworthy people are honest. They match their words and feelings with their thoughts and actions. When their words and actions don’t match, would you trust that person? Trustworthy people are reliable; they keep their promises. Their “yes” means yes, and their “no” means no. They honor their commitments. When my grandson, who is 2 years old, comes to visit I promise him that his mommy will return. He repeats “I promise” and trusts me. I make sure to keep my promises so that he will trust me and want to come back to my home. Trustworthy people are not biased or prejudiced. They interact with others on the assumption that they don’t have all of the answer and all the insights. They don’t have a superior attitude. They have good motives to their actions. We just want to be careful how we put out motives out there that it is not a sign of distrust. We give ourselves credit in having good motives and putting ourselves out there, so shouldn’t we do the same for others? It starts with us. We must be truthful, honest and follow through on our commitments and promises. We are trustworthy and we should all be an advocate of God’s word that we “reap what we sow” and what we put out there comes back to us. What happens someone you knew was trustworthy they broke that trust or deceived you? A good friend of mine once said “give a person some time and they will show you their true colors.” People tend to act like they think you want them to be and once they get comfortable with you their true self will be revealed. Once trust is broken you must remain true within yourself and remain a trustworthy person. Here are to things to consider: Think about the person trust was broken with. Think about your hopes and dreams for that relationship. The more clear that is, the more determined we must be to rebuild that trust. Have an open conversation with them and tell them your true feelings. Trust your gut – trust your instincts – trust God to lead you. Get counseling if you want to save the relationship. If it was a dear friend, ask yourself: What happened? Was it because of something I did or something they did? Was it a misunderstanding? Ask to meet with them and talk about it. Don’t lose a valued friendship over a misunderstanding. Many times we outgrow people and relationships. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Just distance yourself from the relationship, but don’t lose the friendship. Realize that not everyone is as forgiving as you are. But forgive and move on. Although it’s hard to get trust back but it isn’t impossible. If you love someone or really want that person in your life, you must be open and honest and communicate with them. No relationship is worth throwing away if you truly love someone. If your heart is in the right place, God will help you to gain that trust back. As Christian women leaders we must not leave God out of this. When you meet someone for the first time and you get that “gut” check, and you don’t know why, be careful of allowing the relationship to go further because the Holy Spirit is trying to teach you something. Even when we miss the gut check and go on anyway, we must believe in the sovereignty of God and know there was something God wanted us to learn and not do the same thing next time. We must trust God to lead us and guide us in the relationships that we want and that will be trusting. How do we build and maintain influence with the people we trust and that trust us? Pay attention. Make eye contact, and hold it – both when you are speaking and listening. Nod from time to time to show you understand what’s being said to you. Smile, especially when they do. Focus and internalize what is being said to you. Everyone needs to feel that they have been heard, even when you can’t give them what they are asking for. Trust them first. We owe it to ourselves to give the benefit of the doubt first – even if it means getting hurt. You must be the good example to follow. Human beings have a deeply-rooted tendency toward reciprocity. We are naturally inclined to want to do favors, give gifts, and work to promote those who have done these things for us in the past. And the same holds true when it comes to trust – we are more likely to feel we can trust someone who has trusted us first. Show empathy. When you talk to them and they are telling you a story, reiterate the story and their feelings. We are highly tuned-in to the warmth and competence of those around us. Warmth is being friendly, kind, loyal and empathetic. It shows you have good intentions towards others. Your competence – being intelligent, creative, skilled, effective – is taken as evidence that you can act on your intentions if you want to. Others’ lack of trustworthiness isn’t a reflection on us. It’s a reflection on them. We love to be “fixers” but we can’t fix others trust issues. We can speak into their life to try and help, but they must first help themselves. The antidote for a tendency not to trust others is unselfishness. Our trust in others is a form of generosity. To paraphrase the golden rule, shouldn’t we strive to trust others, as we would have them trust us? Think about all of the areas of trust in our life: spouse, children and other family members, pets, customers, friends, external material things like cars, electricity, computers, etc. We must be careful in the types of things and people that we put our faith and trust in. When should you stop trusting, either as employer, friend, or a loved one, and move on from a relationship? There are instances where you out grow certain people and situations. You have to trust in yourself to know when it is time to move on. People can have faith in your character as a person but not in your competence as a leader. They can trust you as a friend but they may not trust you to lead them. You can only do so much, but there may be a time that you must move on. Relationships should be win-win. Each person gains something from being in the relationship. Some feel that each person must give 100% for a relationship to work, which may be difficult at times. I was told each person must give 80% - to go beyond the 50% for a relationship to work. You must be fully present in the relationship in order to have trust. The National Association of Christian Leaders (NACWL) believes for women to lead effectively you have to move on effectively. If we decide a relationship needs to move on, there must be forgiveness. Until you forgive, whether you keep the relationship or not, the feelings or issues will repeat themselves in future relationships until you forgive. It will hold you back from God’s potential. It will be a spiritual roadblock. You have to resolve feelings whether good or bad in order to move on. Be true to yourself and be true to others. Trust your gut! God placed that instinct in you for a reason. Don’t second guess the person God wants you to be. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
April 26, 2016 · 00:27:30
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Have You Unwrapped Your Gifts? My fascination with strengths started when I heard an interesting talk a few years ago. I have forgotten much of what the speaker said that day, but one thing they said still rings in my ears is: “Strengths are individually wrapped gifts that the creator of the universe gives to each person the day they’re born. The tragedy is that many of us don’t open our gifts.” That really resonated with me and motivated me - I wanted to unwrap my gifts! And that started me on a treasure hunt for my unique strengths. Back then, I’d never heard of Strengths-Finders and I didn't know how to figure out what my strengths actually were. So I thought about what I wanted to be good at - I kind of “cherry picked” my gifts. (Have you ever done that, or am I the only one?!) Here’s what happens to a lot of us: we want to be great at something that isn’t really natural to us, so instead of developing our natural strengths, we try to open someone else’s gift! As a result, we end up spending time working on our weaknesses, trying to turn them into strengths. I found that whole process stressful, exhausting, and discouraging. We’re Born Extraordinary but Spend Our Lives Becoming Ordinary I hate to think of all the time I’ve wasted fixing my weakness. One of the first things I heard John Maxwell say was, ”If you spend significant time working on your weaknesses instead of developing your strengths, if you work really hard, you might claw your way all the way to mediocrity! But you'll never get beyond it.” That sounds like a lot of effort for very little return. I didn’t want to be average! Since my strengths are what could make me extraordinary, I decided to shift my focus from fixing my weaknesses, to discovering and developing my strengths. Content With Average Unfortunately, a lot of women I talk to don’t think they have talents, or they think that it’s selfish to spend time developing their strengths. They have grown content with being average. Scripture says that God made each of us special. He doesn’t have favorites and he didn't forget anyone when He was handing out strengths. Spending time learning how to stay in our strength zone is required if we want to reach our potential. It's not selfish, it’s what God expects from us. Parable of the Talents In Matthew chapter 5, we read about a wealthy master who trusted three of his servants with his wealth while he was gone on a trip. To one servant he gave one talent, to the second he gave two talents and to the third he gave five talents! I love this analogy, because the word ‘talent’ in scripture was a large sum of money. One talent was about a million dollars in today's currency. I think this parable has some great lessons for us! First, finding and using our talents can be a lot of work! The servants had to figure out what to do, find a way to invest their master’s money and get him results. Second, God doesn't give us each the same talents. We are given the talents He wants us to have and we’re expected to use them to create results. Well, if you know the story, the  second and third  servants doubled their master’s income and they received a “Well done good and faithful servant.” As a result, the master gave them even more responsibility, more talents,  and more opportunities for success. But the first servant took his one talent, -and lets not feel sorry for him because that was about a million dollars - and he hid it. The master was not happy - he fired the servant! If we want to reach our potential and hear “Well done good and faithful servant” we need to maximize our strengths. We need to be like the servants who worked at getting the most out of their talents.  Your Talents: Who You Are, Not What You Do Scripture says that we’re supposed to shine brighter and brighter each day. Our strengths should be multiplying, not diminishing.  As women of faith, we each have a call on our life and it just makes sense that God has fully equipped us to run our race. All we have to do is discover and develop our strengths. Then we will begin to see that our success isn’t tied to what we do, but who we are in Him. Businesses have begun to realize the importance of focussing on the strengths of their employees. One interesting study conducted by the Leadership Institute found that the quickest way to decrease performance and productivity within a company was to focus on employees’ weaknesses. They studied over 20,000 employees in over 30 different countries and found when they began focusing on their peoples' strengths, their productivity and performance soared by 36.4%. But when they tried to fix their employees weaknesses, job performance went down by 26.8 %. Why Do We Try To Fix Our Weaknesses? That’s the $60,000 question. I think we try to fix our weaknesses to protect ourselves, to blend in, to not be embarrassed by being wrong or different. If you think about it, as children, we learn to stand in line, color in the lines, and not to call attention to ourselves, because showing off is bad. So we  get good at becoming average. In a way, we learn how to hide. I don’t know about you, but I remember the day I began to hide - to make sure I didn't stand out. The Day I Began to Hide I was in fifth grade and Mrs. Latham called me to the board  to work out a math problem, right after our class genius, had worked out a really hard problem in front of the class. I stood at the board. I turned red. My mind went blank. I was mortified when my teacher finally said, “Jeane, since you don’t seem to know simple math, please take your seat.”  That was the moment I started to hide. I made a secret promise to myself to avoid ever going to the board again if at all humanly possible! I lived in fear of the blackboard for the rest of my academic career! So instead of trying to learn, I tried to be right - which, as we all know, is the death of learning. Can you recall a moment when you went into hiding: when you decided it was safer to fit in than stand out. Maybe it was when you didn't get invited to the party, or didn't make the cheerleading team, or when someone laughed at you. You decided it was better to be unnoticed than unaccepted. So you began to hide, to become average. Of course, we all care about what others think of us. But what could we have accomplished, if we had spent our time becoming more of who we were instead of hiding or trying to be like someone else! Many of us have hidden ourselves and our uniqueness, for so long that we’re not really sure who we are or what we think. We’ve been caring what other people think for way too long. Re-Learn How to Stand Out The crazy thing, is that when we get to be adults, we have to learn how to stand out again if we want to make our mark on the world and have any measure of success. People don’t pay of average. They pay for what’s different, what’s fascinating! Think of any brand name or commercial. They intrigue us with what makes their product special - how it's different than any one else’s. Whether it’s the un-cola, or the mini-cooper, or the toothpaste you use - advertisers know that what makes you buy a product, what makes you turn loose of your cash, isn't based on how their product is like another one, it’s how it’s different. The same is true for people. Our results are linked to recognizing our unique strengths and gifts - how we’re different. Where To Begin The first place to look for our strengths is our spiritual gifts’ inventory. 1 Corinthians 12 talks about our gifts and how we must understand them and get good at using them. Everyone needs us to use our gifts so they can use theirs. Discovering our strengths isn't selfish - it’s a command! If you’ve never taken a spiritual gifts’ assessment, I would encourage you to take one. There are several online tools and most churches have their own classes or assessments that help you identify and begin using your spiritual gifts. For many years I thought I had a certain spiritual gift, but it wasn’t until I began digging deeper into strengths that I found out why my spiritual gift didn't seem to really fit me. I didn't really understand myself or my spiritual gifting until I understood my personality type. We’re 99.9% alike  Here’s the thing, humans are all very similar  Basically we share 99.9 % of the same traits - the same DNA. That means that there’s only 1/10th of one percent difference between us. But it’s in that tiny difference, that 1/10th of one %, where we find our uniqueness! That difference is our personality. When you understand your personality, you can stop competing with other people, comparing  yourself to other people, and stop borrowing their personality style to lead - because there’s absolutely nothing better than your personality style! God’s Designer Label Personality is the most unique thing about us and our strengths are hidden there. Personality is God given, so I like to think of our personality as God’s designer label. Think about our designer. His love for diversity is everywhere. There are over 600 kinds of beetles. (I wonder why we need 600 types of beetles?) And there are no two snowflakes or two finger prints exactly alike. He just seems to delight in differences. And He made each of us to be one-of-a- kind. Now I know some people who I’m thankful are one of a kind - if you know what I mean. But those people haven’t found out how to use their strengths. Their strengths are out of control, or they’re just using their weaknesses. When we learn what’s strong about us instead of what’s wrong with us, we can begin to adjust our strengths to get the best out of ourselves and get the best out of others. The one thing  that no one else has, the one thing that no one else can copy, or steal from you, is your unique personality!  How You Fascinate the World I like what one author says: ”Our differences are how we fascinate other people.” Everyone woman listening to this podcast is fascinating! We don’t need to change who we are - just become more of who we are!. Peter Drucker always said that “Strengths are always specific!’ The more specific you get about your strengths, the better the chance you can find your ‘sweet spot.’ Why be on the fringes of your strength zone when you have a chance to be right in the center? A great  way to do that is  to take one of the many personality assessments. There are a lot of assessments out there and most of them are helpful. The best one is the one you will actually take and put to use. (Emphasis on PUT TO USE!) Just knowing the labels for yourself won’t change anything for very long. Once you identify you personality strengths, You’ll need to find a way to start using them everyday. D-I-S-Cover Your Strengths When people ask me which assessment to take, I tell them DISC because it is so easy to understand and use and it also helps you understand the personality styles of the other people around you. We all have patterns of behavior and when we understand ourself better- when we begin to  see our pattern of behavior, it follows that we’ll be able to to see other people’s patterns of behavior. When we can understand the pattern, we can understand the person- even those people who are very different than us. And many times, some of those people share our gene pool! We love them but sometimes we just don’t understand them. Click here to learn more about the DISC Assessment. Benefits of Understanding  When you understand your personality, It’s like being introduced to yourself  for the first time. We think understanding your personality is so critical, that in our company, we don’t coach or train anyone until they’ve taken D.I.S.C. or a similar assessment. Once we understand their personality, often we know more about them than they know about themselves. When we see their unique personality blend, we know how to best communicate with them, we know what motivates them, and how they make decisions. We can even predict what stresses them, and what energizes them. It helps us empower them to achieve success with a lot more ease: but most importantly, it helps them begin to understand themselves and their pattern of behavior. You Can Wrestle or Dance I like to borrow a visual that my daughter Megan always uses because she loves to dance. She says that when you learn how to truly unleash your personality on the world, when you stop trying to get better and simply become the very best you, then you can begin to dance instead of wrestle your way through life! Wrestling and dancing both involve a lot of focus, a lot of exertion, and a lot of interaction. But at the end of a wrestling match, there’s a winner and a loser; at the end of a dance, there are equal partners. Wrestlers resist and push against each other; dancers have this constant give-and-take that looks like magic. Wrestlers end up sweaty and bruised; dancers end up flushed with happiness and health. It’s up to every one of us to decide if we’ll wrestle or dance our way through life.  I hope each woman listening today, chooses to dance - to find out what makes them different and then unleash it on the world. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
April 14, 2016 · 00:23:09
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. This week's podcast Amy Lynn talks with our Founder Karen Zeigler about the connection between being real and confidence. Real confidence comes from being real. 1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV) “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” I am truly fascinated by women who are comfortable in their own skin. Let’s face it – the world does not encourage that level of confidence. Unfortunately, there are many forces working against a woman’s self-confidence. Not surprisingly, a woman who is content with herself is pretty rare. This kind of self-assurance does not come from a search for perfection; on the contrary, perfectionism breeds a negative self-outlook because you have set impossible standards for yourself. Instead, confidence comes from celebrating your unique, authentic self. Recovery for Approval Addicts Stop performing. In order to be authentic, we need to stop looking for validation from the world. The messages we receive about our worth are persistently damaging and inaccurate. Sometimes, the media tells us we are not good enough because we don’t have a certain amount of wealth or a specific number of “likes” on social media. Even more heartbreaking, we may be told that we are unworthy and unlovable by people we trust. If you are going to establish a solid self-confidence, you need to stop looking for validation from flawed, worldly sources. When you see yourself as your Heavenly Father sees you, you experience unconditional love and approval. Our Lord and Creator made you the way you are, and He delights in you.  On the contrary, we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts.- 1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NIV) Embrace Your Uniqueness. In my family, I have always been the square peg in a round hole. I have a different temperament and set of interests than my closest family members. It took me awhile to realize that my bookish, introverted ways did not need to be reformed. For a long time, I couldn’t be authentic and real because I thought I needed to change. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin until I embraced my unique qualities. As I have become more content with myself, my relationships have improved because emotionally healthy people respond to authenticity. Loving yourself is not narcissistic, selfish, or prideful. Self-acceptance is a natural by-product of understanding and believing in God’s love for you. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:14 (NIV) 3. Pursue Your Passions. As women leaders, we often find ourselves in a position to pursue different opportunities and achievements. If we are not living authentic lives, we often don’t know what we really want in life, and we may end up on a few wild goose chases. We are running fast, but we are stuck in neutral. One of the most common mistakes that I see smart women leaders make is setting goals that don’t mean anything to them. Often, they are using their accomplishments to get the approval of others. When you are genuine with yourself and others, you develop clarity and your true passions begin to surface. Then, you can set goals for yourself that feel authentic. Don’t focus on what others think of your goals; be truthful about who you are and what you are meant to do with your God-given abilities. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, - Colossians 3:23 (NIV) Being authentic is God’s will for your life. Doesn’t the world deserve to experience the real you? Don’t you? Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
April 14, 2016 · 00:28:55
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. “The Quieter You Become, The More You Can Hear” - Ram Dass  The Connection Between Confidence and Quiet Quiet is what you need in order to be a Confident leader. Finding quiet and having the right kind of quiet in your life gives you the space to assess any disconnect between your mind and emotions and  to sort out the thoughts and feelings you have and be confident in a good way. The Role of Quietude in Confidence Allows you to know your own mind True confidence comes from making the space to evaluate your emotions and your thoughts to bring harmony to the two. Confidence isn’t powering up on your emotions and shutting them down or just ignoring them and "going with your gut." Quiet makes it possible for us to take care of our bodies. At the cellular level, quieting our minds, bodies, and spirits is a healthy practice. The stress and anxiety in our lives doesn’t just impact our minds - it is expressed on a chemical level. To be confident, we can't be strung out and stressed all the time. Being Quiet With Yourself: The Preparation of a Confident Person If you can’t be quiet alone, you can’t be quiet with others. Being quiet alone happens in two ways: Forced Quiet - when circumstances hinder us and we can’t be as active as we would like or maybe it’s a season when we just don’t have as many people and interactions in our life and we spend more time on our own. The key is to find the value in the quiet - what you do with that time and get something out of it. Turn it into intentional quiet Intentional Quiet - choosing to be quiet. Something you do on your own and it’s most effective when you do it consistently.  It's a statement to yourself and your value - I have something inside of me that is worth drawing out - or there is something God would like to communicate with me about and being quiet is valuing Him and input into you. Directions of Quiet Quiet what’s Coming In: This allows you to think Quiet what’s Going Out: This allows you to rest, stop the crazy, and shut off the continuous track of repetition information that is distracting at best and defeating at worst. What are the barriers to getting quiet? "I just don't have time" is the #1 reason. Small amounts of quiet are incredibly effective!! 5 minutes can transform your day! Relaxing Breaths Close your eyes and just focus on taking relaxing breaths - in and out. This gives you the ability to let the quiet in and give your mind a break from all the thoughts ruminating around in there and stop meditating on the things that are bothering you. This quiet time, although simple, is so very important in raising your level of awareness in your body. This awareness shift - when you get quiet - can happen in every area of your life. It allows us to "come back to center" in our daily life. It grounds us and better prepares us for what's coming at us next - especially if there are uncertainties in our day. Get Quiet with God Getting quiet with God is very important - He is with us everywhere we go! And the best way to interact more with God is to get quiet. It can be difficult to feel God's presence or hear his encouragement if we have the noise up so loud. Taking time to talk to God, especially in the morning, gives you stress-fighting benefits for the rest of the day. And allowing the quiet in throughout the day gives you more opportunities to hear God. We benefit from the awareness that comes when we get quiet. Noise - Turn it Down and Tune it Out It's just as important to turn down and tune out the noise as it is to be quiet. Think Mind, Body, Spirit and ask yourself what the level of noise is in each area. If sleep is an issue, stretching could help. If it's distracting or negative people in your life, limiting interaction is an option. If you find yourself overwhelmed with the phone or email, try to disconnect as much as possible. If you are multi-tasking, try to focus on one task as time. Look for small ways to quiet the noise in your life and you will be amazed how much more present you become. Being Quiet With Others: The Confident Person Being quiet with others means being a positive leader in your life. Whether it's with your family, with your team at work, at church, or with any group. It allows us to learn It allows us to serve better It shows respect for the people we are leading It builds trust This means we prepare ahead, we learn our own mind, study what we can - we are prepared to act as a leader. Then, when we enter a situation with others, it doesn't start with OUR decision and OUR thoughts. It starts with asking them questions first and getting on the same page with people we're called to lead. If you are quiet with others, the things you will learn will allow you to improve your leadership - by leaps and bounds! To build common ground you have to ask questions - and really listen to the answers. Being quiet means staying in the moment of the question you are asking - digging deeper than surface level. A leader who listens before speaking builds trust - that leader is someone you feel safe bringing problems to. A woman who can receive the crazy, calm it down and it give clarity, rather than amplifying the stressful energy. That is a huge technique that shows your confidence - being the calm in the storm. Being quiet with others doesn't mean just shutting up - it's about really LISTENING to what the person is saying. It's about asking clarifying questions for better understanding, and making the other person feel valued - through being heard and understood. I believe being a positive leader and  - a christian leader, bearing witness in your work as a leader - requires you to care deeply about the people you're working with. By listening to the whole story and making sure they are heard and understood, you are displaying and enormous amount of confidence. WARNING: It can be very difficult to be quiet with other people if I haven't taken time to be quiet with myself. Red Flags in Leadership - Signs that You're Not Getting Quiet Enough When you are shocked by feedback. When someone is upset and you aren't sure why. When you are surprised by things that go wrong because you thought everything was fine.  These things happen in bits and pieces, not all at once, so you need to be watching for the red flags. Unfortunately, when we are presented with a red flag, we tend to get insecure or defensive. But if you take the time to get quiet and evaluate the red flags and what may have led up to the breaking point - you can understand this person is not feeling heard. When someone doesn't feel safe with you. Anywhere there is a lack of trust or peace, getting quiet can make all the difference in gaining back that trust. Getting quiet helps calm YOUR crazy, making your communication and thinking more consistent and dependable. If our ideas are all over the place, shifting at the last minute, the people we lead have to brace themselves for the "plan of the day." It's a very unstable place for them to stand, destroying their trust and draining their energy as they try to keep up with your harried mind. Insecurity.  This can be a red flag that you're not getting quiet as a leader, and with yourself as a human. Being quiet with others requires you to have a positive relationship with yourself. If you haven't finished thinking something through, there is a part of your mind that knows you're not sure  - you're not confident. You don't have to know all the answers in business. But you do  have to know that you did your due diligence. Then even if your answer is "I don't know," you can still have confidence in a that non-answer. Barriers Women Face: Putting Me First So I Can Care for Those Around Me Getting quiet for our sanity can sometimes feel "selfish." It's important that we learn to do so. Why do we hit the self-care barrier? One reason can be that we don't know how. If you don't know how to be quiet in a way that fits your life, not knowing how can keep  you from doing it. Another reason is having a bad experience with being quiet. If you are not in a secure place, or don't know yourself well, getting quiet can create an uncomfortable place for you. Sometimes you need a friend or family member to help you through that barrier. Seeing the Value in  "Quiet Discipline" Getting quiet is a discipline. And it can be difficult. Just like with anything in our lives, it can be the best choice to make it a habit. If you get to a place where being quiet is just part of your day - then it isn't hard. But until you give it space in your life, it does require discipline.  The best friend of discipline is knowing your own value - knowing you're worth it. Think about that when you determine a discipline pattern for you. It's worth working for. The more you practice a discipline, the more comfortable and confident you become, and you reap more of the value. See the value in yourself, and you will begin to see the value in disciplined, intentional quiet time. And it will show in your confidence! Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. (We talk about the Headspace App in this Podcast. Check it out to see if it might help you cultivate that healthy quietude in your life.)
March 8, 2016 · 00:21:25
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. The connection between purpose and confidence is being sure of who you are and whose you are, why you are here and what you are about. Knowing that you have a purpose in life increases your confidence. If that purpose is not clearly defined or established internally, it erodes our confidence. Purpose solidifies the truth that your life is about something bigger than you. To be perfectly transparent, for most of my life, I felt like an afterthought. Being the product of a teenage mom, I doubted my significance. After being raped and sexually abused multiple times at the age of 8, I really questioned my worth. Why am I here? Does my life count? Does my life even make a difference? My purpose was not clear and I had little to no confidence. When I read Psalm 139:13-18, it changed my perspective on my worth. It reads For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you. After reading that, I said, “Wow! Really God?” This passage is absolutely beautiful. It allowed me to see how amazing God is and how amazing I am. This passage gave me an assurance that God created me on purpose for a purpose. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future", is a promise from God that he has plans for us. God answered those questions and caused my spirit to soar as I read Ephesians 2:10, “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” OK. Stop right there! Think about that. I mean really embrace that! You are God’s workmanship! You are His masterpiece! His work of art! You were created and designed uniquely with a purpose on purpose! Our lives are meant for something. We are not haphazardly here!  The truth of Ephesians 2:10 dispels every insinuation of failure…it counters every lie and accusation that whispers, “Your life doesn’t matter. You don’t have significance. You’re life is meaningless… You don’t have a purpose” It declares God’s heart toward us and shouts: YOU HAVE PURPOSE! YOU WERE DESIGNED UNIQUELY, STRATEGICALLY! YOU HAVE A PART IN GOD’S GREAT DESIGN! YOUR LIFE COUNTS! YOU MATTER! YOU ARE WHOLE AND COMPLETE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NOT! Wow! Could it be that our sufferings, our weaknesses, our strengths, our ambitions and dreams are ALL part of a greater design? Could it be that before the foundations of the world existed, God saw us? That before we were formed in our mother’s womb he set us apart with a plan for our life? Jeremiah 29:11 says that is true. You can walk in the worthiness of your life! You matter to God. Your life is NOT a mistake. You are deeply loved and are designed for a purpose. Your purpose is as unique as God is creative. You have significance because you belong to God. You are His child… I can showcase my life and be a witness of God’s divine purpose for my life every day that I exist. Steps to tap into getting the belief from your head to your heart: 1. Quit listening to the lies and accusations of the enemy whose soul mission is to kill, steal, and destroy. 2. Position your ears to hear God’s plan. 3. Invite Him to help you discover the distinct way you can best honor Him with your life… to passionately fulfill your God-given purpose in your life! 4. Hold on to God’s truth found in the Bible (You can stomp Satan’s negativity with God’s word) 5. Surround yourself with a support system where you can be inspired and supported by people who affirm your worth. 6. And remember, “You were created on purpose for a purpose by God! Understanding that we are God’s children, that he created us and has empowered us to walk in our God-given purpose is the key to leading a significant life of purpose! Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
Feb. 23, 2016 · 00:14:04
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. …God opened a significant door here for me to serve, but also there is a lot of opposition against me. 1 Corinthians 16:9 Voice When God opens new doors of opportunity for us to walk through; there are three areas we will likely encounter opposition from when moving forward. If we don’t have the confidence to stand up against them, we will forfeit the new opportunities God is presenting. Opposition #1: Ourselves Fear of the unknown is one of our biggest hurdles in going forward. When fear of going forward enters our mind, we need to cast those fearful thoughts down. We need to trust that God is with us, and we have what it takes to move out in whatever new thing He is calling us to. The Bible says, We live in the bold confidence that God hears our voices when we ask for things that fit His plan. 1 John 5:14 Voice Opposition #2: Others Sadly, there will be times when critics or naysayers will try to discourage us in going forward instead of encouraging us. For whatever reasons, some people are not thrilled to witness others move onwards in new things. For this very reason, we need the self-confidence to proceed onwards regardless of what others may think or say. The Bible says, Don’t throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded. Hebrews 10:35 NIV Opposition #3: Our Enemy Anytime God, is doing new things in our lives and is opening up new doors of opportunity for us to walk through we can be sure that the enemy will place obstacles in our way. He does not want us to gain new areas of growth or claim new territory for God’s kingdom work. We have to resist his attacks and confidently walk through the doors God is opening before us. The Bible says, So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT Closing Remarks: We need to shake off our fear, dust off what critics may say, and press through the obstacles the enemy places in front of us. We need to remember that each time we move out and tackle something new, our confidence grows. Then when additional opportunities come our way, we are more empowered to embrace them. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
Feb. 19, 2016 · 00:24:26
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Have you ever been in a position where you know you are in the right place, in the right time, doing the right thing, but still felt a nagging insecurity or a lack of confidence? I did, for a very long time. I struggled with lies of judgment and criticism that stole my confidence every time I had to move out into something purposeful. Then I read something that changed my life. In Lisa Bevere’s book Nurture, she explains how there are three major components of nurture which are necessary for success and confidence by all people of all ages. These components are Tender Care, Protection, and Encouragement. Where you see these aspects of nurture taking place, you are witnessing and experiencing the cultivating of confidence. Confidence is the result of having proper nurture. How can we be sure we are receiving proper nurture so that we can foster an environment that produces confidence? Whether it is at home, in the workplace, in church, in our social groups, or simply in the grocery store picking up a gallon of milk…we can always create an environment that feeds our confidence. Nuture #1 - Tender Care Helps to Grow Confidence The picture of tender care is to take a genuine interest in whatever you are rearing. You have to put your love and heart, careful attention, into that thing that matters to you. Tenderness is never harsh or involves neglect, abrasiveness, or control. Instead, it reveals love, grace, and gentleness. In order to grow confidence, tender care must be communicated. This can be done through self talk and how we are talking to others. Replace judgment and criticism with “you are loved”, “you are valuable”, “you are important”, “It’s ok”. This type of communication creates a connection to confidence. Nuture #2 - Protection Helps to Grow Confidence Protection fosters an environment for nurture. When you feel safe, you have the confidence to do almost anything. The giving and receiving of protection creates the ability to personally grow and develop, unhindered. A safe atmosphere empowers you to lend your personal gifts, heart, mind, finances, time, and energy to those relationships and opportunities that have been assigned to you. This type of environment is the fence around your confidence that positions you for success. Nuture #3 - Encouragement Helps to Grow Confidence Encouragement is the intentional affirmation to give hope, courage, and confidence to ourselves or others. When encouragement is low, we can find ways to receive it through a variety of ways. We can receive the greatest affirmation through God’s Word, as well as, watching positive shows and listening to positive audios / music. We can also join groups, classes, read books, and even connect with a mentor or friend. You cannot give the world what you do not have. Filling up with encouragement equips you with the confidence you need to pour out to others what they need. I’ll never forget the first time I held a microphone in my hand in front of a crowd of world changers and leaders, about 5 years ago. It was just a small group of about 30 people, but it might as well have been 300. At least, it felt that way. I took the microphone, stood at the center of the platform and felt a violent shake roar through my body from the soles of my feet up through my arms and into my hands. It took everything within me to grab control of the nerves that were having a field day on me. Finally, I just said to the group “excuse me shaking, I’m extremely nervous to be here in front of you this morning”. And with relaxed and gracious smiles, it was as if the crowd responded: “no worries at all”. Immediately calm swept over me and I moved right through my talk that day encouraging these men and women in their purpose. That day I experienced a great gift that boosted my confidence, empowering me to walk in my purpose. It was at that very moment that nurture – tender care, protection, and encouragement - became the feeding ground for growing my confidence. Without realizing, this group of men and women blessed me with the nurture I needed to feel confident in operating in my purpose. In turn, they received my gift of encouragement to catapult them into theirs. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
Feb. 9, 2016 · 00:24:50
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. Today's podcast is by Angie Brizel. Angie is a NACWL Board member, wife, mother and Administrator in her families law practice. Angie will be sharing with you one of the core values of NACWL, Move. We discuss the role of moving as it relates to confidence and its impact and importance in aiding us to become the best version of ourselves. In today's podcast you will find  practical tips to help you get moving in the direction of God's purpose and plan for your life. Three Ways We Must Move Moving On. Moving on is about seeking healing, health, and wholeness for women who need to overcome pains and struggles. Moving UP.  Moving up is about helping women get their life in order, maintain balance and discover their God-given purpose. Designed to equip and strengthen Mind, Body & Spirit. Moving Out. Moving out is for the woman who is daily walking in her God given purpose. Designed to strengthen, encourage and empower her to be unstoppable. Are you moving in the right direction? Some thoughts to ponder. What is motivating you? Flesh or Spirit. Tips to Identify if you are moving in the Flesh or Spirit What area in your day to day life do you not have peace? Do you seek God’s words for the answers you do not understand? Are you serving yourself and/or people pleasing or serving God? How is your attitude when you are serving? Do you feel content with the recognition and adoration of others or the act of service itself? Are you tired and exhausted from service or fulfilled? Listen to the full interview free on iTunes Podcast to understand the Road Blocks and the Insight to persevere! Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
Feb. 5, 2016 · 00:14:44
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. When you think about knowledge, knowledge covers a pretty broad spectrum. Many people associate education with knowledge, although there isn’t a huge difference between the two, we can define education as a formal process received from a college, university or other type of school, and knowledge is an informal process which is gained through real-life experience. The distinguishing factor is whether you are paying to go to school versus knowledge that you gain from personal life experience. Knowledge is not an automatic process. It’s something that we must seek out and acquire from our own self-effort. Our brain is wired to acquire new information until the day we die. God commands us to seek wisdom and understanding. Proverb 4:7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. NIV We aren’t just talking about knowledge that we get from real-life experiences, but the knowledge that we seek out. Usually, the knowledge that comes to us through our experiences may not always be pleasant. If we want to see better experiences, how does one acquire the knowledge they need? Especially if they don’t know what they need? In some circumstances, we don’t know what we don’t know. You can be in a bad situation and think that is the way it is supposed to be. Many people think it is the cards they were dealt. If you have a voice inside of you saying something isn’t right, that is your subconscious telling you there is a better life out there for you. Learning is difficult. Learning is work. You have to make the effort to go out and obtain the knowledge to get you out of the bad situation. If we reflect on our elementary school days, we recognize that is true. We took steps to learn the materials we didn't know that the adults in our life told us we needed to know to get us through school. But where do we get the knowledge to get us through life? What steps can you take to get that knowledge? The NACWL website is a great place to start to build your awareness of what you need. Our website offers you the assistance in building your self-confidence or self-awareness and helps you to learn the skills you need to move on, move up and move out. You can also seek out a mentor or someone you respect and want to model after. Other ways to seek out knowledge: Seek help in your local church. Talk to your Pastor. They can also direct to someone that can help you. Speak to a Counselor or Therapist Seek out a Personal Life Coach Visit your local library or bookstore and look at books on self-help to see what is offered. We have to be humble and vulnerable enough to say “I don’t know” and want to find someone that does know and can help us. We have to be proactive. The strength of our efforts is the measure of our results. The more effort you put into something, the more you will get out of it. If you keep performing the same actions, you will get the same results. It isn't always easy to recognize, but it is so worth the effort to make life better, not just for ourselves and for the next generation. When a woman is kept down, her kids may be kept down. I want women to step up and realize they deserve better and their kids deserve better. If we are in a place we don’t want our children and grandchildren to be, we must take the steps to lift ourselves out of that position. The generations to come will reap the rewards. What does all of this have to do with confidence? Self-confidence can be nothing more than knowing exactly the extent of what our capabilities are. Learning how to acquire knowledge about your own skills and all the positive traits you have will help you to be more self-confident. An exercise that will help you is to take a piece of paper and write down strengths on one side and your areas of improvement (not weaknesses) on the other. As you read over the list of strengths, your self-confidence will increase. You may not realize how many skills you have until you read them for yourself. I love this exercise. I’ve done it many times when I was in the financial industry. When I reviewed my strengths I could easily volunteer for projects where I was well-suited. On the other side of the paper where your areas of improvement are, that is where you will focus on the knowledge you need for those areas. Where we are weak, God is strong. By writing these down we can pray to God for the areas we need improvement – especially the areas of blind spots, so we can put our best foot forward to where God needs us. What are some of the roadblocks that keep women from gathering the knowledge they need? It’s the road block of self-doubt that someone has instilled in you. When you are told over and over “you are no good” you eventually believe “you are no good.” Lack of access to a proper education. Finances are a road block, which is unfortunate. You can acquire knowledge and education by talking to older people. The elders in a church are a great reference. The most precious gift you can give someone is your time. A recent article stated some of the top billionaires don’t have a college education. I want you to realize it’s not a matter of education. If God places something on your heart, if you take the steps to seek out that knowledge, he is going to make it happen. An article about dreams state that when our dreams are so vivid it is because in God’s perspective they have already occurred, because he knows things from beginning to end. He knows the dream – even though they seem far off to us, in his calendar they are already complete. We must walk toward them and look to take all this in. We serve an abundant God and of the roadblocks you listed there is nothing he cannot provide for us. Matthew 7:7 says Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. You must know and listen to the voice inside of you saying there is a better life for me and I’m going to find it! Ask in your heart for God to show you your better life. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. How can I tap into all that NACWL has to offer to get moving and discover God’s purpose and my highest potential? Ask a Mentor those burning questions that you have about faith, life, and leadership. Sign-up for our free weekly newsletter. Join the movement to Unite Women – Grow Leaders – Fight Injustice Choose to Grow by being a part of a local group or lead a group of your friends
Jan. 21, 2016 · 00:16:10
Influence is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, or the effect itself. Essentially, an effect we have on others. Confidence is the self-assurance within yourself for your own abilities. When you have confidence you can project an influence with others. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. How can a woman build their confidence to have influence?  Everyone has someone they can influence. It can be someone in your job, your church, or in a store (when you smile at a clerk). Character has a tremendous amount of influence in how we treat others or are perceived by others. Christians are the light of the world. By building up your influence, and by living in that light, you show that you are building the kind of life that God wants you to live. When you do the right things, it shows through in your character. You aren't born with character - it is learned. You may have some of the same character traits as your family and friends, but for the most part it is learned. You choose the path you want to live. When a woman feels that she is walking out into the world, if she feels she is walking with character, does she need to broaden her influence?  In Colossians 3:12-13 it says "12: Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13: bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." We want to identify with the right things to help broaden our influence because it identifies with what we are and what we believe. This will in turn help other women to learn about God and serve him. People can take opportunities from you but they can't take your influence. With your influence God will always give you another opportunity. I try to broaden my influence to reach more people by never giving up. People say I'm a student for life because I’m always pursing another degree or another certification. But I know by making myself better, I can in turn make others better. In the end, God is going to hold us accountable not only for the opportunities he gave us but for the influence we had on others. We want to make sure build that influence and broaden it the best we can. By making ourselves better, we have more of an influence on others. People want others to have influence over them. They want to pursue these things for themselves. Our influence is about making people better by making ourselves better. Our God is an abundant God - a god of unlimited resources and just because you lose an opportunity, whether it is a job you applied for or a sale you lost for a company, that doesn't mean God doesn’t have another opportunity out there for you. Just because one door closes, doesn't mean God's resources are dried up. We can still influence in another way. Leaders that have tremendous influence over others are the ones that we hear about the most. They are the ones that destroy their influence by doing the wrong things. To avoid this as women leaders, and especially as Christian leaders, you must know first that the devil will try and attack your influence more than he will try to destroy your opportunities. Businesses can destroy their influence by not doing the right things and having good customer service. Christians can destroy their influence by not standing up for what they know is right. We must remember that God does hold us accountable for our influences. We live in a very compromising world and everyone is challenged. It is hard to resist the temptations and I believe we must do whatever we can to build our influence. We must borrow it, broaden it and guard it. God has allowed us to build it. In Romans 14:7 it says: "For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone.” Our influence will live beyond our grave. Our influence will live on and live through other people. Be careful what to do and say in front of others, especially children. We must be careful of our actions. We want others to understand that God is the way. He is the truth and the light. We must put God first so that our children understand and recognize this and recognize the blessings he has given us. When we guard our influence, in thinking of the realms of things that can destroy our influence, we look at it as the belt of truth, the shield of faith and the helmet of salvation. When we talk about borrowing influence, it is modeling. When you meet someone who influences you to make your life better, you will borrow their influence temporarily until you can believe in your own ability to use that influence for yourself. As you practice it, it becomes more natural for you to tailor to your own needs to use yourself. In other words, you utilize the influence until you can build your own confidence to use it yourself on others. This is what NACWL is all about. We want to take women's stories and use that borrowed learning experience from the women on our team to share with you. We do this to help you build your own influence. We know that leadership is a process and for women this is a process of moving on, moving up and moving out and that is something we can't do alone. It requires the help, support and encouragement of other women and that is what we are truly all about. Think about how you can increase your influence. Purpose in your heart that you will do everything you can to build your influence in the right way. Make it purposeful. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. What are my next steps to get moving to discover and fulfill God’s purpose and my highest potential? Ask a Mentor those burning questions that you have about faith, life, and leadership. Sign-up for our free weekly newsletter. Join the movement to Unite Women – Grow Leaders – Fight Injustice Choose to Grow by being a part of a local group or lead a group of your friends
Jan. 12, 2016 · 00:35:10
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. There are a lot of aspects to confidence. But one of the most encouraging things about confidence is that it is something we can grow. And just as in nature, growth occurs in seasons. Season of Harvest The first season of growth is a season of harvest – a time when we reap what we’ve been sowing. In growth terms, it’s called the season of explosive growth. Some of you might be in that season right now.  It feels pretty good, When we’re in a season of explosive growth, we have momentum going,  we feel like we’re performing well , our confidence is high, our hard work has paid off -  It feels great!  But in this season …we have to be diligent to continue to grow. John Maxwell talks about the Law of the Rubber Band. The law refers to the tension that was necessary to stretch us and help us succeed. But once we succeed, we often lose that tension, and our growth stops. So we have to find ways to keep stretching and keep growing. I think our NACWL founder, Karen Zeiglar, is a great example of this season. She has written and published two books. She has gained a certain level of confidence that comes from her accomplishment and growth as a writer. Right now, she’s in a season of explosive growth in her writing career. But she’s still growing and learning and stretching her limits as a writer - I can’t wait to see what’s next!  The season of explosive growth is gratifying, and if growing can be “fun,” this is fun! But  there‘s another season of growth that isn’t quite as fun.  It’s a season where we are struggling to grow or we’re discouraged in our growth. I know I have been through this season, haven’t you? Season of Preparation Now this is still a growth season, but the season of preparation doesn’t feel good like the explosive growth season. Because growing isn’t always gratifying. All the great heroes of the Bible went through a season of preparation: Sarah, Joseph, Moses, and Esther are a few that spring to mind. I can’t think of any person used by God in a mighty way that didn’t endure a season of preparation, even Jesus! In Luke we read about the 40 days that Jesus spent in the wilderness in a season of preparation, getting prepared for His ultimate victory. This season may not feel so good, and may last longer than we want, but the rewards are incredible and we can’t really get them any other way. Benefits of the Season of Preparation:  We learn to discipline ourselves to depend on God so we become God-sufficient not self-sufficient. We learn to listen, really listen for God’s voice with clarity. God builds our faith to believe Him for really big things. God prepares us for victory. When our wilderness experience is over, we will know where we’re going, why we’re going, and most importantly, we’ll have the confidence that God’s going with us. One of my mentors always says, “When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare!” So, I’d like to challenge each of you to do what my mentor challenged me to do: Identify an area in your life where God is growing you through a season of preparation Then ask yourself these questions: What is God preparing me for? What daily disciplines do I need to build in my life to help me grow? What has God already told me to do that I still haven’t done? What do I need to trust God for? Who do I need to help me? Someone once said “A wise man asks himself questions, but a fool only asks questions of others.” Taking the time to ask ourselves these questions and spending time thinking deeply into the answers can really expedite our growth. This may seem like a lot of work - actually, it is a lot of work - but it’s a necessary step to prepare us for the season of explosive growth. Unless we grow in this season of preparation, we won’t be ready when opportunity comes. What are areas we should be growing in? Scripture tells us that Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. In other words, He grew mentally, physically, and spiritually. I thinks that’s a pretty good model for us too, don’t you? Let's talk about spiritual growth 1 Timothy says that we are to exercise daily in God, so we don’t have spiritual flabbiness. So we need a spiritual growth plan. It doesn’t need to be complicated, just a simple plan we will use every day to help us get to know and love God more and to truly receive the love He has for us! Of course that means we need to be in His word, and be talking to Him through prayer, worshipping Him. But don’t turn it into a process that you won’t be able to do every day. Because growth is found in our daily schedule.  Don’t worry about a perfect plan. The best plan is one you can start today and will actually do every day. If you’re just beginning your spiritual growth journey, don’t worry if it seems a little mundane. My dad was a preacher and he used this analogy with me when I was young: he said learning to grow spiritually is a lot like eating breakfast. When you first start, it seems like dry toast. But before too long, if you keep at it, it will be like eating Sugar Smacks (my favorite cereal as a kid.) And eventually, if I kept at it consistently, he said it would be like having a stack of mom’s delicious pancakes with strawberries and fresh whipped cream on it. He said at that point, I’d want to have it every morning! Well, it turns our that Dad was right and I can honestly say that I look forward to having my quiet time with God even more than eating pancakes! You know, there are also many devotional and spiritual growth books available to help you as you grow. But just passively reading them isn’t going to get you where you want to go. So here’s something I learned from John Maxwell that has really helped me grow. John’s been doing this for the past 40 years. Instead of just reading a  book, he uses the A-C-T method of growth. Here’s how you can use the A-C-T tool as you read: Look for ideas that you need to apply to yourself and mark an “A” by them. When you see something you need to change, you can note it with a “C.” When you find something you wants to teach to someone else, you can mark it with a “T.” Actually, last year John said he was changing the acronym from A-C-T to T-A-C-T, because he realized that as he read he’d come up with ideas that he wanted to spend time reflecting on and developing, so he’s added another “T” to mark ideas that needed thinking time in order to grow. This is actually my favorite one and has made the biggest difference in turning my reading time into growing time. Whatever you do, don’t wait until you find more time to begin to grow spiritually…because you never will. Start today and continue everyday, and by next year you’ll be eating pancakes every day! Let’s talk about physical growth Besides spiritual growth, we also need to grow physically. Of course most of us don’t literally want to grow any more (most of us are trying to shrink, right?)  But we do need to continue to grow our strength and our health. That will take a strategy. Of course, all areas of growth need a strategy, they need to be intentional, but for some reason, this one area needs to be locked down, immovable, not up for thinking about, because if we aren’t growing toward health, we’re growing toward disease. That’s true in every area, but when it shows up in our body, it really gets our attention! Now, we all know what our bodies need to be well. We know we need sleep, exercise, nutritious foods, and stress reduction, right? The knowing what to do isn’t the problem; it’s creating a plan and executing the plan every day that usually stops our growth. I know as a nurse that I could give you a fitness plan and even if you were a cardiac patient and your life depended upon you following the plan, the average length of time you would consistently do my plan is two weeks. Two weeks! Even if your life depended upon it! Statistics show that you have to create a plan that fits your lifestyle, your personality – one that you will do five days per week! So just do it. Building our body is one of the most confidence building activities that we can do! When we feel great we can do great things! Its ok to Start small…but start! Let’s talk about mental growth The final area to grow in is your mind…and this is a big one! What I want to share with you is based on Dr. Carol Dweck’s research and it came on my radar when I heard how, using her research, an inner city school in New York with the worst test scores in the state became the school with the highest performance scores in the state…in just one year! Fixed mindset When I learned about this, it made so much sense to me and I could see how I have been inhibiting my growth and other people’s growth, just by my mindset. Research has established that we develop either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. If we have a fixed mindset, we believe our attributes and abilities are fixed or unchangeable. So we have this need to prove our abilities over and over to demonstrate that we have them. With a fixed mindset, we resist risk, challenges, and things that require too much effort because we are afraid we might fail. And since, with a fixed mindset, our confidence and self-esteem are based on our results, we’re going to resist any challenge that could “make us look bad.” When we have this fixed mindset, we waste time repeatedly trying to prove how great we are, when we could be spending our efforts getting better! Growth mindset But if you have a growth mindset, you enjoy challenging yourself and you know the importance of effort. If you get a bad result for your efforts, you still value the process and what you learned. With a growth mindset, you’d probably say, “That was fun. Let me try it again and see if I can do better!” With the growth mindset, you don’t need confidence in your ability in order to explore an opportunity and stick with it. You don’t already have to be good at something in order to enjoy it. Having a growth mindset is really having a healthy disregard for the impossible, regardless of your age. Some great examples of this are: Nola Ochs: she became a Guinness World Record holder as the world's oldest college graduate at the age of 95. Seventy-seven years after she first started taking classes, Nola graduated alongside her 21-year-old granddaughter. Grandma Moses: she became a famous artist in her seventies. She began painting after arthritis caused her to stop her old hobby: embroidering. Grandma Moses had no formal training. Her first painting sold for $5 but her last one sold for $1.2 million. How to develop a growth mindset One way to develop a growth mindset in yourself and others is to change how you think about difficulties. Difficulties make us grow, literally! Science has shown that when things are difficult, when we put in effort, our brain rewards us by building new neural connections…which means we get smarter! When we understand this, we welcome new challenges and risks, and the extra effort it will take. So next time you find yourself thinking, “This is going to be difficult” – change your thinking to, “This is a chance to get smarter!” Another way to create a growth mindset, is to listen for the old fixed mindset, become aware of how often you have it and consciously change how you talk to yourself. For example, I used to say, “I’m just not a math person” now I say, “I’m not a math person…yet!” Adding this one little word, “yet” changes everything. Try it and see. Try it with any area you are lacking in confidence. For example you could say, “I’m not a great cook…yet.” You can even try saying ]it out loud. Eventually you will begin to believe that you can grow in this area. I want to share one more way to develop this growth mindset…and this is was one that I have gotten wrong many times! Most of us grew up being praised for our accomplishment or our physical attributes - both at home and at school - and so naturally, it’s how we still talk to people. For example, if our child gets an A in school, we tell them how proud we are they got such a good grade and what a winner they are. Unfortunately, this can actually chip away their confidence. Because if they are a winner because they got an A, they will be a loser if they don’t get an A next time. What you could say is, “That’s a really good score! You must have worked really hard!” We have to learn to praise wisely. Not to praise talent or accomplishments, but to praise effort, process, and strategy. Get good at re-wording your praise. Instead of telling your coworker, “You looked great today during your presentation!” you could say, “I was really able to follow and understand your points today. I can tell you worked hard on your presentation!” This growth mindset is a particularly great gift to give our children - to teach them to love challenges, to be intrigued by mistakes, to enjoy effort, and to keep on learning! But that would be a great gift to give ourselves too! Remember to look for ways to grow a little bit each day spiritually, physically, and mentally. When you combine this growth outlook with a growth mindset, they will fuel your confidence and help you achieve your potential! Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.
Jan. 12, 2016 · 00:14:24
Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes. “May Jesus himself and God our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech.” 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 (MSG) Are you aware of the benefits you will reap when you take proper care of your health? One of those benefits is the fact that healthy women tend to be more strong and confident in carrying out the things they desire to accomplish. However, at times women can get so caught up in everyday issues that they fail to take proper care of their physical body. God’s Word says that your body is His temple and you are to honor Him with the body that He has entrusted to your care. Below is an acronym of the word HEALTH that will encourage you in your efforts toward overall wellness. Heart – It’s important to guard your "spiritual" heart as well as your "physical" heart. Without a beating heart the course of your earthly life ceases. When illness strikes your body, it has the ability to weaken your confidence. Thus, it’s important to take good care of yourself. A healthy heart and body has the power to keep you going and it also lifts your confidence. “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverb 4:23 NLT Emotions – Guard your mind, for out of it flows your emotions. Learn to manage unhealthy emotions. Left unchecked, anxiety and stress have the ability to promote sickness within your body. Wholesome emotions boosts your confidence. “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 AMP Awareness & Action – Become aware of the different types of health issues you might be prone to and take a proactive approach in warding off such high risk factors. When you are proactive in taking care of your health, you’re more confident in knowing that you’ll be less likely to incur such illnesses. “For wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.” Proverb 2:10 ESV Longer Life – You will attain a longer, independent lifespan when you properly take care of your overall health—body, mind, soul, and spirit. Set an example that others will long to follow. God will bless you with strength and stamina to live a virtuous life of influence. “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” Proverb 16:31 ESV Time – Take time to eat healthy, to exercise, and to value times of rest. Healthy eating, exercising your body and taking time to rest, does wonders for your overall health and it fuels your confidence in going forward. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 Happier – The more you stay on track with God, the happier He is with your endeavors. God desires for you to be strong in spirit and healthy in body so you can enjoy life to the fullest and carryout the good plans He has mapped out for your life. “The steps of a good man (woman) are led by the Lord. And He is happy in his way.” Psalm 37:23 My prayer for you today is this, “Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” 3 John 1:2 NLT “Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” 3 John 1:2 NLT Questions: Do you recognize the connection between good health and confidence? Have you been struggling with any of the areas mentioned above? Feel free to leave a comment so NACWL can encourage you onwards in both health and confidence. Click here to subscribe to our podcast in iTunes.