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Set the foundation first, November fourteenth.
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How are you today?
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I hope you're doing well wherever whenever you are listening to this.
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Just pausing to reflect on the fact real quick that this is the three hundred and eighteenth episode of the Everyday Human.
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That's that's a lot.
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Um if you've been sticking it out with me, thank you.
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That means a lot.
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If you are just joining, welcome.
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It's great to have you here.
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Today's reflection was inspired by a quote from The Book of Joy Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams.
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And the quote goes like this We humans have a special brain, but this brain causes a lot of suffering because it is always thinking me, me, me, me.
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The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience.
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I like that quote a lot for a number of reasons.
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I also like how to the point it is, the more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience.
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And here's my reflection.
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You must think of yourself and you must love yourself.
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We looked at this in May, the month on love.
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Your relationship with yourself is the most important and fragile one you'll ever have.
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But it cannot go too far to the point of excessive pride and narcissism, or on the other side of that coin, self loathing or cycles of pathological rumination over your actions and past.
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In either case, we are often the main obstacles to our own happiness.
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The world doesn't exist to put you down, despite what you might think at times.
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The world, apart from some very lucky and amazing people who know you and love you, really doesn't give a shit about you.
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It's the me now I'm ready to sing a tune that can bring you down at the end of the day.
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Again, through that pride or self contempt, because what's at the center of those?
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A single person, you.
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This might be a tricky one to wrap your head around.
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Another tricky one, because on one hand, yes, happiness comes from within.
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But it comes from a place of peace and contentment and acceptance and love.
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This is the foundation of happiness.
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But sometimes, maybe a lot of times, it takes serious reflection and work to build that foundation.
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And you build this foundation from within.
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It is not built from things or stuff or even other people from the material world outside you.
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So yes, you do have to think about the me sometimes.
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It's okay to, but you mustn't dwell on the me.
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You take care of it and nurture it and accept it for all of its wonderful features and flaws.
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From there, once your foundation is established, you must look out, sharing your happiness with others, and sharing in theirs in return.
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Upon building your foundation, you will spend less time thinking about or focusing on yourself, the me, me, me, me, and as a result, you will have the fruit of acceptance and love, and you will experience more peace and more happiness.
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And there ends today's reflection.
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So there you have it, a little bit of a conundrum.
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You cannot focus too much on me, but you must to a degree focus on yourself in order to build that foundation of peace and acceptance and love from within.
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And then from there you kind of let go and you begin to drift in a sense, but not in a negative way, more in a just existing type of way, where you are accepting and loving and caring with open eyes and mind and heart of the world around you.
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But you've got to set the foundation first.
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Okay, now it's time for your reflection question.
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Grab your journal or napkin or have a look out your reflection window and consider this.
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If I really think about it, how much time do I spend thinking about myself?
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Is my foundation for happiness set and ready for me to look outward?
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Or must I return to building it?
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That's it for today, November 14th.
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I'll be back tomorrow, November 15th, with another reflection.
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Have a good one and take care.