প্রতিলিপি 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.300 --> 00:00:01.923
Well, everybody, here we are again.
00:00:01.923 --> 00:00:09.465
Summer, that sweet melancholy that I've been talking about since summer began, is finally upon us.
00:00:09.465 --> 00:00:15.654
Some cold fall north winds are rustling through the leaves.
00:00:15.654 --> 00:00:22.236
If you look closely, a few of those leaves are starting to tinge and crisp up on the edges.
00:00:22.236 --> 00:00:23.320
Tinge and crisp up on the edges.
00:00:23.320 --> 00:00:26.024
Fall fast approaches.
00:00:26.024 --> 00:00:27.966
How was your summer?
00:00:27.966 --> 00:00:31.292
Great, glad to hear it.
00:00:31.292 --> 00:00:33.034
How's your liver?
00:00:33.034 --> 00:00:35.162
Yeah, me too.
00:00:35.162 --> 00:00:40.057
Me too Laughter.
00:00:44.932 --> 00:00:45.234
Music.
00:01:06.120 --> 00:01:07.203
Music, music oh man, that's rubbish.
00:01:07.203 --> 00:01:07.664
That's rubbish.
00:01:07.664 --> 00:01:10.712
Well, as you can probably tell, I am suffering from psoriasis of the liver that's undiagnosed.
00:01:10.712 --> 00:01:19.721
I don't believe I actually do have psoriasis of the liver, but I will say that all my lack of sleep and this summer's activities have finally caught up with me and we're not doing well.
00:01:19.721 --> 00:01:20.341
Physically.
00:01:20.341 --> 00:01:30.195
We are not well, and so, because I need to take care of me, I'm taking care of me.
00:01:30.195 --> 00:01:40.850
I'm going to just do a very short, simple episode where I talk about puberty for a brief moment.
00:01:40.850 --> 00:01:44.736
I believe there's a bit here and we're going to work it out.
00:01:44.736 --> 00:02:06.061
But, of course, because this is starting stand-up and this is just a spitball area, I am going to just share a little bit of what I did and you can tell me if it made you laugh out loud any of it, and then you can wish me well, you can send healing, healing thoughts towards me, and then I'll be back better than ever.
00:02:06.061 --> 00:02:28.542
And this fall is going to be great, because we're going to put together the summer's content and we're going to shape it into just a world-class stand-up set that is going to rocket ship me to the top of the game, to the top of the heap the game to the top of the heap.
00:02:28.542 --> 00:02:29.525
Oh, watch out Chris Rock.
00:02:29.525 --> 00:02:32.752
Here I come, all right, wishing you healing if you are also suffering from psoriasis.
00:02:32.772 --> 00:02:34.036
I discovered some writing.
00:02:34.036 --> 00:02:34.478
I did.
00:02:34.478 --> 00:02:41.808
I'm really happy I discovered it because it's about puberty and I've always loved puberty.
00:02:41.808 --> 00:02:45.854
I love puberty.
00:02:45.854 --> 00:02:48.498
No, my kids are right on the edge.
00:02:48.498 --> 00:03:11.665
Things are happening and that's really when my memory came online and as I was thinking about puberty and what an absolute horror show it is for people's appearances and just it's almost like a the great mutator I thought what would puberty be like if, like it was a drug dealer?
00:03:11.665 --> 00:03:12.388
You know what I mean.
00:03:12.388 --> 00:03:16.626
Like if puberty was personified in a dark alley?
00:03:16.626 --> 00:03:23.223
I'm not sure you would take the drugs right, because puberty is basically it's.
00:03:23.223 --> 00:03:27.764
It's it's in the street corner and he's pushing, he's like, he's like hey little boy.
00:03:29.168 --> 00:03:30.631
You want a little testosterone.
00:03:30.631 --> 00:03:32.141
You want a little growth hormone.
00:03:32.141 --> 00:03:32.764
Come on, baby.
00:03:32.764 --> 00:03:33.564
Come on over here.
00:03:33.564 --> 00:03:36.980
This shit's going to make you huge dude.
00:03:36.980 --> 00:03:40.307
Your dick's going to grow, bro.
00:03:40.307 --> 00:03:41.449
You want your dick to grow?
00:03:41.449 --> 00:03:42.091
Come on over.
00:03:42.091 --> 00:03:44.144
You want to get yoked?
00:03:44.144 --> 00:03:47.300
You want some bolder shoulders?
00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:48.522
Come on over here, man.
00:03:48.522 --> 00:03:49.465
I got what you need.
00:03:50.246 --> 00:03:52.591
I got straight pituitary gland right here.
00:03:52.591 --> 00:03:55.043
You want to start smelling like shit.
00:03:55.043 --> 00:03:58.730
You want your mom to no longer hug you because you got bo.
00:03:58.730 --> 00:04:02.862
Come on, you want to get rock hard in the middle of the day for no reason.
00:04:02.862 --> 00:04:04.843
I got you, I got you.
00:04:04.843 --> 00:04:19.735
And it's a huge risk, man, if you go into that dark alley and you say yes to puberty, I mean you're taking a huge gamble Because most kids are so cute.
00:04:19.735 --> 00:04:28.360
You know, I can't tell I'm not going to name names, but like you know that person, when they were 11, 12, they were cute.
00:04:28.360 --> 00:04:30.004
It was like oh, wow.
00:04:30.004 --> 00:04:39.552
And then all of a sudden, dude, their nose just grows twice as big and just starts glistening with oil and little pus mountains.
00:04:39.552 --> 00:04:44.490
Come on, man, you want some pus mountains that'll explode and bleed when you touch them.
00:04:44.490 --> 00:04:52.182
You want uncontrollable mood swings, you want.
00:04:52.182 --> 00:04:53.144
You want hey, come on over here.
00:04:53.144 --> 00:04:54.807
You want to hate your parents and lash out at them for no reason.
00:04:54.826 --> 00:05:02.427
You want to start crying and not know why I got you, I got you, I think the bit is there.
00:05:02.427 --> 00:05:05.331
Like if puberty was optional, you know, would you do it?
00:05:05.331 --> 00:05:08.985
Oh, little Jimmy's so cute.
00:05:08.985 --> 00:05:10.831
He's giving me one handsome boy.
00:05:10.831 --> 00:05:13.528
So I pump the brakes on little Jimmy.
00:05:13.528 --> 00:05:20.663
Little Jimmy looks like a horse colt with some sort of skin rash.