S3E8: Art, Identity & Becoming Her with Sarah, Art by SRG-এর সম্পূর্ণ প্রতিলিপি

I was Googling you, um, it popped up that you were here. 00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:33.120 And I was like, she's not. 00:01:33.439 --> 00:01:33.760 I know. 00:01:33.840 --> 00:01:37.760 Okay, I will say I've been trying to get that Google business thing fixed for a while now. 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:38.400 It's hard. 00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:39.200 It's really hard. 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:40.879 I'm like, please, I'm not here anymore. 00:01:40.959 --> 00:01:44.000 Just yeah, and you probably have people excited, like the Raleigh people. 00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:44.480 Yeah. 00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:48.239 It's and then the people who moved in there are like, hey, we want the Google business. 00:01:48.319 --> 00:01:50.000 And I'm like, I want to give it to you. 00:01:50.239 --> 00:01:50.719 That's sad. 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:51.760 That's hard. 00:01:51.920 --> 00:01:52.079 Yeah. 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:52.719 That's hard. 00:01:52.879 --> 00:01:54.640 I have had a similar issue. 00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:57.280 I can't like locate myself on Instagram. 00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:00.719 Okay, I noticed that today because I tried to tag you as the location. 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:01.760 I don't know how to do it. 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:02.400 I've tried. 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:02.799 Yeah. 00:02:02.959 --> 00:02:04.239 I've had people try for me. 00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:11.919 And when I was in my store, I couldn't get an Instagram location because I shared the storefront with uh Needle and Threadco, Derek. 00:02:12.400 --> 00:02:19.520 And so they had just by happenstance, they had signed theirs up, like their Instagram Instagram location at that number. 00:02:19.599 --> 00:02:22.560 And so it only allows one person, even if it's multiple businesses. 00:02:22.800 --> 00:02:23.039 I know. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:25.439 But I was like, whatever, I'll just make the location needle and threadco. 00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:26.240 That's fine. 00:02:26.319 --> 00:02:27.120 You're like, I'm inside there. 00:02:27.199 --> 00:02:27.280 Yeah. 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:28.400 Come find us here. 00:02:28.639 --> 00:02:29.199 Yeah, it's hard. 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:30.159 Come on, make it easier. 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:34.879 For anyone who's never experienced your arts, how would you describe what you create and how you want people to see it? 00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:49.360 I would say what I create is I kind of see it as abstract surrealism because it's very abstract in the sense that I distort the realistic features. 00:02:49.840 --> 00:02:56.159 So I take facial features or bodies and I make them either wonkier, like this one here. 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:57.919 She came merched out, you guys. 00:02:58.240 --> 00:02:58.400 Of course. 00:02:58.639 --> 00:02:59.039 We love it. 00:02:59.439 --> 00:03:00.960 Or her little art up there. 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:03.360 So this would be you can grab it. 00:03:04.240 --> 00:03:05.280 And you can say right here. 00:03:05.520 --> 00:03:10.639 So this is another version of like the distorting, but in a more fluid, natural movement. 00:03:10.879 --> 00:03:16.879 So I say it's my artwork celebrates the beauty and the simplicity and the complexity of being human. 00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:17.599 So true. 00:03:17.759 --> 00:03:24.719 And so a lot of my work is visual in the sense of like a framable piece or a t-shirt. 00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:29.759 But I also do a lot of experience-based work. 00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:41.599 So, like one of my favorite things I do are called Living Canvases, where basically I get a blank canvas or wood panel or something, and I put either a quote or a prompt or an image in the center. 00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:48.319 And then it's available at an event or in a public space with markers so people can come and express themselves. 00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:48.879 Oh wow. 00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:52.159 Kind of inspired by what is on the center of the canvas. 00:03:52.639 --> 00:03:56.639 Like, for example, during Pride Month, I did one that was what does pride mean to you? 00:03:56.879 --> 00:03:59.199 One time in Durham, we did one for Bull City. 00:03:59.280 --> 00:04:01.439 I did different goals in the wine art style. 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:03.840 And we did what does both city mean to you? 00:04:04.560 --> 00:04:20.399 So I think that's one of my favorite methods of creativity that I do because it gives the opportunity to people who may not otherwise take that time in their lives to touch in, like get in touch with their creativity. 00:04:20.720 --> 00:04:33.279 99% of the time, after someone doodles or writes a message or something, they come up to me afterwards and they're like, you know, I used to do a lot of art, or when I was little, I really liked to draw, and I just stopped doing it. 00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:33.600 Yeah. 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:35.920 And I'm gonna go and I'm gonna grab a pen and paper. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:37.759 And I'm like, Yes, that's what I call it. 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:38.959 I agree with that. 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:41.920 Like a lot of people who wasn't coloring when they were little, who wasn't playing. 00:04:42.240 --> 00:04:42.879 Well, it's part of school. 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:43.600 It's growing up. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:46.000 It's your mom's go, go do something. 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:47.600 Go do something, yes. 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:48.639 So that's so true. 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:59.360 And I think that in the last few years, there's been more adult coloring books, there's been more things for people to just get back to their childhood, at least on my side of the algorithm. 00:04:59.680 --> 00:05:00.639 Because that's what I want. 00:05:00.800 --> 00:05:02.639 I have like four adult coloring books. 00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:07.120 Um, I don't do abstract, but I like like my man will draw a picture and then I'll color it in. 00:05:07.360 --> 00:05:09.519 Okay, see, and I love that I love that too. 00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:11.680

I do that a lot with like the kids I work with, you know. 00:05:11.839 --> 00:05:14.639 Like you draw the outline and let them color it in. 00:05:15.040 --> 00:05:15.839 It's so fun. 00:05:16.079 --> 00:05:31.439 But like I think also there's been a lot of uh understanding and more information about how using your creative side of your brain is like an actively beneficial thing for your mental health. 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:46.959 So I think in part of why we're seeing so many more like adult-centered creative hobbies is because even if you take five minutes out of your day to tap into that part of yourself, it provides your brain some level of relief. 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:48.720 I don't know the exact science, right? 00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:58.240 But from a psychological standpoint, it really helps you kind of separate the different things that you're carrying in your head. 00:05:59.040 --> 00:06:04.800 Because I'm over here thinking the last time I was really coloring regularly was when I was going through something really hard last summer. 00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:10.000 And I would be like, I gotta grab my c I can't wait to go home, grab my coloring pencils, grab my coloring book, and just go outside and color. 00:06:10.319 --> 00:06:15.439 Because it's also like uh you're using your hands, you're using your eyes, you're using your mind. 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:20.240 Your body's able to kind of just be stable and you're focused on something. 00:06:20.319 --> 00:06:25.439 So your your thoughts aren't necessarily racing, or at least not as much as they may usually be. 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:31.920 And so that's so real that like people turn to turn back to these things when they're in tough times. 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:37.600 And so I think part of what I'm trying to do is help people reconnect with that when they're in a positive place. 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:37.839 Yeah. 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:57.759 So it's not just you have to be going through something hard or you have to be really stressed out to find that being creative and letting yourself, whatever that might look like, whether it's music, whether it's visual arts, whether it's dancing, whatever it is, but understanding that that relationship can exist within your day-to-day life at any point. 00:06:58.079 --> 00:06:58.399 100%. 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:02.000 And that is actually something else I'm trying to get back to, even journaling. 00:07:02.079 --> 00:07:08.160 Like I find myself journaling when I'm in a hard time, but I should be journaling every single day, every other day. 00:07:08.240 --> 00:07:11.519 It shouldn't just be when I'm pissed off or when I'm stressed out or something. 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:12.560 I relate to that. 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:13.199 Yeah, it's like that. 00:07:13.360 --> 00:07:15.360 Because I just saw a flower and it was so beautiful. 00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:15.920 You know what I mean? 00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:17.360 Poetry is the same thing. 00:07:17.439 --> 00:07:26.480 Like I used to during the hardest times, it was like 2017 to 2019, I would just go to the beach because I lived in Rhode Island, so it was really easy to get to the beach. 00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:31.439 And I would just go to the beach and just write on my phone, like in my notes, even. 00:07:31.519 --> 00:07:34.160 Yeah, but just letting it out, like releasing it. 00:07:34.319 --> 00:07:37.519 And this was even before I started my business with art. 00:07:37.600 --> 00:07:46.000 So this was before I even really tapped into my artistic like expression and that level of relief and like all that that provided. 00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:48.639 I was just kind of trying to find something. 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:49.199 Yeah. 00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:59.439 And I think that that's that's actually a really good point that I haven't really thought about is the fact that a lot of people find their creative outlet during a dark time. 00:07:59.519 --> 00:07:59.839 Yeah. 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:06.000 And there's definitely a need for helping or guiding people and how to maintain that. 00:08:06.240 --> 00:08:07.040 Totally, 100%. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:09.519 Because I feel like the world, it's hard right now. 00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:12.560 You got social media, you have your phone in your hand at all times. 00:08:12.800 --> 00:08:17.199 You can be on an iPad coloring, you can be on an iPad drawing, but it's not the same. 00:08:17.439 --> 00:08:18.000 It's not the same. 00:08:18.160 --> 00:08:19.279 And it's mentally not the same. 00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:21.519 No, and I do digital art well work as well. 00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:29.680 I don't say that I do graphic design because that is an incredible skill set that I am not an expert at whatsoever, but I do digital art. 00:08:29.759 --> 00:08:33.840 Um, and you're it's a completely different experience. 00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:47.679 And a lot a lot of the time I find myself, you know, when you're juggling so many things through your business and so many different projects and collaborations and whatnot, there are phases where I don't get to sit down and physically create for a while. 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:51.840 And I feel that like it I feel so disconnected. 00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:57.919 And I have to just, no matter what it is, even if it's just like putting down the base of a project. 00:08:58.080 --> 00:08:59.519 So I paint on the jacket. 00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:08.399 So even if it's just putting the white layer on the jacket, it's that tangible aspect that that really brings me that like psychological relief. 00:09:08.639 --> 00:09:14.320 And that for me, it's very much like the central nervous system, like kind of calming and yeah. 00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:15.840 That's how I feel when I go to the woods. 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:19.440 I'm like a downtown girl, but I need some grass. 00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:19.840 Yeah. 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:21.440 I need to be in the woods.

00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:30.000 So I just got a yard, and on Saturday, I literally was laying out there for 20 to 30 minutes, and my neighbor was like, Is she okay? 00:09:30.159 --> 00:09:34.240 Yeah, she was like, Throw a rock, and like I just want to make sure you're still gonna get out of here. 00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:37.200 Yeah, she literally was like, I have heard of that. 00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:39.600 And I was like, Heard of laying on the ground? 00:09:39.919 --> 00:09:40.399 Grounding. 00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:43.519 Like, because I'm because to me, I'm like, yeah, let's go ground. 00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:45.200 And my friends are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:49.679 Where other people, like old southern women, yeah, are kind of like, I've heard of that. 00:09:50.639 --> 00:09:55.360 Like, oh the new thing where people interact with the ground. 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:57.279 Like literally. 00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.480 So it was so funny. 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:00.320 I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's great. 00:10:00.480 --> 00:10:00.960 You should try. 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:02.960 Try it, not when they but try it sometimes. 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:05.600 Don't come over here, anybody go touch your own grass. 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:08.240 Yeah, but um I do the same. 00:10:08.320 --> 00:10:11.279 I always go when I'm feeling super overwhelmed because we have a nice backyard. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.840 I always say, I'm gonna go look at the trees. 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:14.159 Yeah. 00:10:14.320 --> 00:10:17.600 And I just go outside and I just look up because it's a big canopy. 00:10:17.759 --> 00:10:18.399 Oh, beautiful. 00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:28.159 And the way that that like just pulls me back and like really makes me more aware of the fact that everything is smaller than it feels. 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:28.720 Oh, yeah. 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:30.720 That's something I'm going through as well right now. 00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:33.039 Like, if I'm like, I have to post this post, I have to get it posted. 00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:33.600 Why? 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:35.279 Everything is smaller than it feels. 00:10:35.759 --> 00:10:53.120 As long as you are fueling and nurturing your bigger goals and passions and whatnot, all the small movements that you make along the way, I always say, like, even if you miss an opportunity, opportunities don't ever end. 00:10:53.360 --> 00:11:00.080 You make the next one for yourself through your conversations, through your interactions, through just putting yourself out there. 00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:12.559 So, like, if you're constantly fueling that, you know, going out, meeting people, exposing yourself to new things, then your opportunities are going to keep flowing in and you physically can't do all of them. 00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:21.600 And so it kind of I had to create this mindset for myself where the ones that I'm meant to do in the grand scheme of things are the ones that will pan out. 00:11:21.759 --> 00:11:22.240 Totally. 00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:26.159 And along the way, like maintain the relationships with people with the ones that don't pan out. 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:28.320 You know, I'm not just like ghosting on opportunities. 00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:29.679 It's hard. 00:11:29.840 --> 00:11:36.320 But yeah, I think I I've definitely beat myself up over like, you know, there was a big show and I didn't get an application in for it, right? 00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:37.919 There's gonna be another big show. 00:11:38.159 --> 00:11:42.240 And if you really want to connect with the people from that show, go connect with those people. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:43.759 Yeah, it's all on you at the end of the day. 00:11:43.840 --> 00:11:44.159 Yeah. 00:11:44.320 --> 00:11:48.240 And you are really good about making connections, especially as an artist. 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:49.840 You have to make those connections. 00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:55.440 If you want to do something full-time for yourself, you have to keep making those connections. 00:11:55.759 --> 00:11:59.840 So when you're going out to the community, because you stay outside, you really do. 00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:01.039 You stay outside. 00:12:01.279 --> 00:12:03.039 How are you not getting overwhelmed? 00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:12.639 Or like, how are you knowing who to talk to, who not to talk to, who to connect with, who not to connect with, who isn't right in the moment, who is exactly like you said, like maintain those relationships like us. 00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:16.639 Like, we probably talked about this podcast two years ago when I first met you. 00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:17.840 I'm like, you're someone I want to do. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:18.320 I know. 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:21.279 And it took years to get here, but we stayed in the world. 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:26.960 And that's another example of like the opportunity, it'll come back around and it'll be at the right time. 00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:38.320 And like I truly believe that because two years ago, we could have done it, but where I'm at now, I'm way more aligned with what I want to be doing with my business. 00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:41.759 And so I feel like it's it's it's our time. 00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:42.000 Yeah. 00:12:42.159 --> 00:12:43.200 Like it was supposed to be now. 00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:45.120 Yeah, I know I agree a hundred percent. 00:12:45.279 --> 00:12:48.159 I feel like we're both settled in a little bit more. 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:49.679 We both look fucking good. 00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:52.480 Like, I'm just like staring at you because I'm like, you look so good. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:53.200 Thank you. 00:12:53.440 --> 00:12:56.799 And I know I told you that last time, but like, you just look so healthy, so good. 00:12:57.039 --> 00:13:01.360 I really don't know your life, but I'm just like, oh my goodness, you just look so healthy. 00:13:01.600 --> 00:13:13.200 Well, I want to be fully

transparent on it because I think that that's something that uh a lot of people deal with is like you don't know the ins and outs of everybody's life. 00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:21.200 And so you want to assume that everything is like positive and oh, she looks so great, she looks so healthy because it's a positive thing. 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:24.879 But in my case, I've been going through a lot the last few months. 00:13:25.039 --> 00:13:40.799 Like it's been a really hard few months of caretaking and medical bills unexpected, and you know, having to take on new work that I may not have wanted to take on to help cover all those things. 00:13:40.879 --> 00:13:47.679 And so I'm very much in a phase right now where I wake up and I start working and I keep working until I go to sleep. 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.440 And I was drowning. 00:13:51.600 --> 00:13:52.960 Like I was drowning. 00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:59.039 I was having panic attacks, I wasn't eating, I was like, it was not good for a few months there. 00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:06.799 And I really had a wake-up call when I went to an event that I had like told someone I was gonna support them at. 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:14.000 And the way I felt my cup was filled after that, in a way I had not felt in months. 00:14:14.080 --> 00:14:37.039 Yeah, I made a conscious decision that I was going to make it part of my job that I'm getting out and I'm going, whether it's like an hour at the coffee shop with a friend and we're working and we're just with each other, or it's driving out to Raleigh to chat with you, you know, whatever it might be, maybe I'm tired leading up to it, but the way that it refills me is my saving grace at this point. 00:14:37.440 --> 00:14:41.279 And I think I'm a lot healthier now. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:15:00.320 So, like the the glowing aspect, you know, is because although maybe my physical isn't in the best, I'm really making sure to cater towards my mental and my connections and like not that isolation that we can all fall into, especially when things are so hard. 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:01.120 Yeah. 00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:06.639 In my past life, that would go on for a long time and there would be a lot of unhealthy vices. 00:15:07.360 --> 00:15:11.840 And this time around, I was like, those vices, they're not hitting. 00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:12.960 Yeah, they're not hitting. 00:15:13.039 --> 00:15:14.000 What's the hit I need? 00:15:14.080 --> 00:15:14.879 It's my people. 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:15.519 It is. 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:16.240 So true. 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:17.360 I'm actually going through that right now. 00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:17.679 Yeah. 00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:21.279 I don't know your vice, but I love some marijuana. 00:15:21.360 --> 00:15:21.519 Yeah. 00:15:21.840 --> 00:15:24.559 And I'm like in the process of chilling the fuck out on that. 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:25.600 Shh, girl. 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:32.080 Yeah, I don't know if we want to talk about it, but um

I feel like I brought it up in the last episode too, so clearly I have an issue with that. 00:15:32.320 --> 00:15:33.440 Well, you know what? 00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:40.240 I am in that same boat as you, and the sense of like I've had vices in the past that were not as good. 00:15:40.320 --> 00:15:43.840 I'm not like a heavy drug past, but I've, you know, dabbled. 00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:45.679 I've had my years in AA. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:51.440 And I've had my years of really just kind of like cutting everything out and trying to see what's going on. 00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:56.720 Um, and so weed, bud, that is like Bud. 00:15:56.879 --> 00:15:57.919 I haven't heard that in a minute. 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:00.399 I love it. 00:16:00.720 --> 00:16:05.919 It it helps decrease the anxiety with the grounding and it helps with the creativity. 00:16:06.399 --> 00:16:11.600 But I do agree that I it's a crutch in a lot of ways. 00:16:11.840 --> 00:16:13.919 And I would like to have a healthier balance. 00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:14.480 I agree. 00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:14.879 100%. 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:16.240 I'm in the point. 00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:22.000 So about three weeks ago, I took five days, Monday through Friday, and I just didn't smoke. 00:16:22.080 --> 00:16:24.000 Um, because I was like, are you addicted? 00:16:24.559 --> 00:16:25.919 Like you're like, wait a second. 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.679 Like, are we okay? 00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:30.240 Because it really when you smoke for a long time, you don't know. 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:30.960 You know what I mean? 00:16:31.120 --> 00:16:31.440 Yeah. 00:16:31.679 --> 00:16:35.279 And even when you if you take a day or a couple hours, you're like, I don't need it. 00:16:35.440 --> 00:16:35.679 Right. 00:16:35.840 --> 00:16:39.120 But like, so I took my five days and I was fine. 00:16:39.279 --> 00:16:45.200 I was fine, other than I wasn't sleeping and um my head hurt. 00:16:45.279 --> 00:16:48.559 I said it didn't hurt like a headache, it hurt like tension. 00:16:48.720 --> 00:16:49.120 Yeah. 00:16:49.360 --> 00:16:52.559 So I was like Googling everything, and that's what it was. 00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:54.399 It was like withdrawals from the marijuana. 00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:58.879 Which is so interesting because everyone's like, you don't get with it is because it's habit forming. 00:16:59.039 --> 00:17:04.640 It may not be an addictive in the sense of the chemical addiction, but it is habit forming. 00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:07.119 And that's what we as people become addicted to is our habit. 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:08.960 I learned about cigarette. 00:17:09.039 --> 00:17:10.160 I've never smoked a cig in my life. 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:11.200 Good for you. 00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:14.160 I've never been a cigarette smoker, but I can't say I've never smoked. 00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:18.559 I've never been tobacco in marijuana, but no cigs. 00:17:19.200 --> 00:17:24.720 Um, but I learned somebody was talking

about their how they quit smoking or they were addicted to cigs. 00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:29.279 And then whoever they were talking to was like, well, if you think about it, it's box breathing. 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:31.599 So meditation is box breathing, right? 00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:33.839 You you meditate and you breathe in a box. 00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:34.240 Okay. 00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:39.359 When you're getting taught how to breathe at breath work classes, they often are like, whatever many seconds in, whatever. 00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:43.279 That is going outside and taking a cig break. 00:17:43.359 --> 00:17:45.279 You are g inhaling and exhaling. 00:17:45.359 --> 00:17:46.000 It's so true. 00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:51.039 And so it's a form of meditation, yeah, but with a cigarette, right? 00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:53.039 So it's wild to think about. 00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:54.480 And the person never thought about that. 00:17:54.640 --> 00:17:56.799 He's like in his 50s, he never thought about it. 00:17:57.039 --> 00:18:03.200 Okay, yeah, because I'll tell you that I uh have struggled with the uh nicotine baby, right? 00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:04.960 Which are worse than six I hear. 00:18:05.119 --> 00:18:05.680 I know, I can't. 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:07.359 It's like, I don't know, I'm just saying. 00:18:07.519 --> 00:18:09.039 Not much, not judging. 00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:18.240 I need the universe, like this is the one thing I need the universe to give me all the strength in the world to kick this habit because it is, I hate it, I do not want it. 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:25.759 And something that I literally find myself doing, I will take anything and I'll just go, yeah, yeah. 00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.039 Is that why I was sitting here? 00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:28.880 No, I'm not gonna do that on the podcast. 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:29.920 It's that bad. 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:30.799 It's not that bad. 00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:31.440 It's not that bad. 00:18:31.680 --> 00:18:32.240 People are though. 00:18:32.319 --> 00:18:34.480 I actually bought my man a necklace that's a brief. 00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:35.359 I've seen those things. 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:38.000 Yeah, it's like in my studio, that's when it's the worst. 00:18:38.400 --> 00:18:44.559 Think of all the artists who chain smoke, yes, and then think of you have a USB drive where you don't even have to light it or anything. 00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:47.759 So when I'm painting, I can get really bad with it. 00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:48.000 Yeah. 00:18:48.160 --> 00:18:52.880 So I'll just paint brushes, you know, and just try and actively change that habit. 00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:55.200 Like small things at a time. 00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:00.960 And yeah, I I do notice the the small things they they do have, they have. 00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:02.559 I mean, it's psychology, it's the human brain. 00:19:02.720 --> 00:19:03.279 You can't deny it. 00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:06.400 Nobody talks about how that

is connected. 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:15.839 No, because okay, because the people, the big big tobacco and all them, they don't want us to talk about it because they want us to keep buying this stuff. 00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:17.440 It's such a crazy world, man. 00:19:17.599 --> 00:19:17.839 Yeah. 00:19:18.079 --> 00:19:18.640 Yeah. 00:19:18.880 --> 00:19:20.880 Um, so off topic, sorry. 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:22.400 Yeah. 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:27.119 But do you feel like like it you've slowed down on the vape because you've taken action? 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:33.200 I think that before this big phase of hard stuff happening the last six months, yeah. 00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:33.599 Yeah. 00:19:33.759 --> 00:19:40.559 Um, but I find myself I'm now like getting back into actively trying to work on it again. 00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:41.119 Totally. 00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:42.880 Because like also give yourself grace. 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:51.839 Like if your plate is so, so, so full that you are literally having panic attacks and like struggling to take care of your basic needs. 00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.279 Don't try and quit something. 00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:55.759 You can't like you gotta give yourself grace. 00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:56.559 Yeah. 00:19:56.880 --> 00:19:58.720 And you'll get there. 00:19:58.880 --> 00:20:00.079 Yeah, you just gotta be mindful. 00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:03.920 Don't like, you can't throw yourself a pity party, but you do have to give yourself grace at the same time. 00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:04.480 For sure. 00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:05.279 No, that's great. 00:20:05.359 --> 00:20:07.279 If you're that was my word last year, because grace. 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:08.160 Not on purpose. 00:20:08.240 --> 00:20:15.119 I just was going through a lot of shit and I kept finding myself like, be graceful, give yourself grace, give them grace, be graceful. 00:20:15.440 --> 00:20:16.400 Like all the time. 00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:17.359 Grace. 00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:19.839 Grace, be grace, grace, grace, grace. 00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:22.720 No, literally, that was my brain like all summer last year. 00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:23.759 Well, that's that's crazy. 00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:30.720 So that's like I did a whole in 2021, I did a whole very intentional rewiring of my brain, I will say. 00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:39.440 It started with like my internal dialogue, like changing what I was saying and thinking every day. 00:20:39.680 --> 00:20:43.519 If I would have the thought now and redirect it and change it to a new one. 00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:45.200 And it was exhausting and draining. 00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:50.480 Anyone who knows me and knew me then, like 2021, I was very removed. 00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:53.920 I was not myself at all. 00:20:54.240 --> 00:21:03.119 And so I really, but I also got to a point where I was like, I'm not doing this when I'm like 40, when I'm at that time, when I'm 30. 00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:04.240 Like, I'm not doing this. 00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:07.759 I'm so tired already, and I'm 23, something like that. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.640 So I was like, I have to figure something out. 00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:11.920 Something's gotta give. 00:21:12.079 --> 00:21:26.720 And what I learned was the redirecting and rewriting your internal dialogue and like literally that relationship that you have, just at least for me, I have one of those brains that's always talking, always talking. 00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:32.000 And so could not controlling, but completely retraining it. 00:21:32.079 --> 00:21:32.240 Yeah. 00:21:32.480 --> 00:21:36.640 So that my natural thoughts aren't in that direction. 00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:49.279 My natural thoughts now are graceful, they're positive, they're grounding, they're how can we lower the anxiety of this situation instead of panicking or running or anything like that? 00:21:49.839 --> 00:21:54.880 And a lot of people ask me, they're like, How did you how did you get over those things? 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:57.200 A big one being body image issues. 00:21:57.440 --> 00:21:58.640 How did you do that? 00:21:58.880 --> 00:22:07.759 Because a lot of Us that's we were molded into like every aspect of our existence went back to our body image. 00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:18.960 Like I remember being in maybe late middle school, early high school, and keeping track of like what I ate all day and thinking of it as like this is a fitness. 00:22:19.200 --> 00:22:20.319 I'm doing fitness. 00:22:20.880 --> 00:22:26.960 But all I was doing was training myself to have body dysmorphia, unhealthy eating habits. 00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:37.359 You know, I've never been like in a full-blown situation of an eating disorder, but I have absolutely have very unhealthy eating habits. 00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:48.240 And I couldn't get through a day without like every other thought being related to what I was physically carrying. 00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:49.200 And where did that come from? 00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:50.640 And where does that that came from? 00:22:50.799 --> 00:22:59.200 I mean, if you look back, our entire upbringing, like from the early 2000s, yeah, everything we saw was you gotta be skinny. 00:22:59.359 --> 00:23:02.000 Girls don't eat cake, you know. 00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:04.720 Uh you oh my gosh, going to the gym. 00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:10.400 I developed the most unhealthy relationship with working out because it was only centered around losing weight. 00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:10.799 Yeah. 00:23:10.960 --> 00:23:13.039 And you have that's not it. 00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:13.519 That's not true. 00:23:13.680 --> 00:23:14.960 When you go to the gym, you're belly muscle. 00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:15.119 Right. 00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:16.240 And were you an athlete? 00:23:16.319 --> 00:23:17.279 Like, were you playing sports? 00:23:17.440 --> 00:23:17.599 Yeah. 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:18.480 That's so interesting. 00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:20.720 And you're like,

you're talking like high school, middle school. 00:23:21.200 --> 00:23:23.440 So interesting because did you have female coaches? 00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:23.920 Yeah. 00:23:24.079 --> 00:23:24.880 So I wonder. 00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:26.640 I I had both female and male coaches. 00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:29.200 I'm just so this topic comes up on almost every episode. 00:23:29.359 --> 00:23:30.000 I'm sure it does. 00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:31.599 Because of exactly what you just said. 00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:32.720 We were raised this way, yeah. 00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:38.480 And I no I think I had like an a reverse eating disorder. 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:38.880 Okay. 00:23:39.039 --> 00:23:40.240 And so it's so interesting to me. 00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.880 And I wonder, like, is it because I all I had guy coaches? 00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:48.559 Is it because I grew up with my I mean, I grew up with my mom and my grandma for sure, but in what sense are you saying? 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:50.000 Like that you had a reverse. 00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:52.799 Like, my grandma's the one that's like, eat it, there's not that much left. 00:23:52.880 --> 00:23:54.720 Or like you have to finish everything on your side. 00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:57.519 But if there's like one piece of lasagna left, I'm eating it. 00:23:58.000 --> 00:24:05.039 Like, and in my life, like in my adult life, I find that like I'm stuffing my face because it's the last piece. 00:24:05.359 --> 00:24:07.279 Or it it's gonna go to waste. 00:24:07.359 --> 00:24:09.839 And I don't mind a leftover, like, but is it worth saving? 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:10.559 You know what I mean? 00:24:10.640 --> 00:24:10.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:13.440 Or if we're at a restaurant, there's only two more pieces of whatever. 00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:22.160 Yeah, I am bad, and my partner has like retrained my brain because I do it to him. 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:23.039 I'm like, eat it. 00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:23.359 Okay. 00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:25.680 And he's like, Why are you forcing me to eat this? 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:28.400 Yeah, so it is so in nature. 00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:31.680 Yeah, and then I think of my grandma, and I'm like, she doesn't even know. 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:41.920 But I think that it's even though our experiences were like two different like directions of it, it's the same thing. 00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:42.400 Totally. 00:24:42.640 --> 00:24:48.960 Just like I have a family member who she has struggled her whole life with feeling too skinny. 00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:52.400 And when I learned when I heard that, I was like, I'm sorry, Lenny. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:54.480 And it's a lot of people they can't put weight on. 00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:54.799 Right. 00:24:54.960 --> 00:24:56.559 And so that opened my eyes up. 00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:03.200 Like, I'll tell you, the most freeing thing was when my brain finally understood that everybody has a different body. 00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:03.599 Yeah. 00:25:03.759 --> 00:25:12.240 And that like the little things like you can see my veins, or you can see the little bumps on my skin, and you can't see them on hers. 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:14.400 That doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. 00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:17.599 And it's all like science. 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:24.799 Every little thing, down to the shape of your nose, how deep your eyes are set in your head, you trace it back to where your family came from. 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:28.720 Well, that's how they survived the climate there or whatever, you know? 00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:38.240 So if you try to look at these things through a different perspective and look at them through like the beauty of just, whoa, we exist. 00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:43.359 Like, you gotta just go from a high thought, like, oh my gosh, we're people on this earth. 00:25:43.680 --> 00:25:46.640 We are all so different and unique. 00:25:46.720 --> 00:25:52.480 And everything that you are jealous of in someone else, that's something you love, something you like, something that excites you. 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:58.079 And that also was something I really had to work on is like when I'm jealous, what is that? 00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:02.000 That is I'm feeling like I'm not meeting something in my life. 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:06.720 I'm jealous that they are reaching their goals, they're getting what makes them happy. 00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:09.279 I need that version, my version of that. 00:26:09.359 --> 00:26:10.319 I don't need to be them. 00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:10.799 Correct. 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:28.559 And so, like a lot of retraining and a lot of my art came from that because as I'm working through this, well, the visuals, I need to be seeing all these bodies that are beautiful and and exposed to all the different aspects of life that impact your body. 00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:28.960 Totally. 00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:33.519 Birth, you know, medical situations, gaining weight and losing weight, injuries. 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:35.440 There's like endless things. 00:26:35.519 --> 00:26:39.119 You're never gonna be exactly where you were physically at any point. 00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:39.359 No. 00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:47.279 So why obsess to that degree when you could be obsessing on so many other things that are gonna make you feel so good? 00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:47.839 100%. 00:26:48.240 --> 00:26:53.359 It's exactly what you said, retraining the brain, retraining your mind, because you can think positive. 00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:54.960 It's just we're made to think negative. 00:26:55.200 --> 00:27:04.240 And you've been doing the negative for so long, because I'll tell you, I was a negative, I was like a dark moody, like just really depressed. 00:27:04.559 --> 00:27:07.920 I went through a very I'd say until I was like 27. 00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:13.200 27, Sarah locked in and she like really found her peace. 00:27:13.759 --> 00:27:22.079 And

so now at 31, I can say that I've had, you know, three years in a row where things have been overall positive. 00:27:22.160 --> 00:27:22.400 Yeah. 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:23.519 Couldn't have said that before. 00:27:23.680 --> 00:27:24.880 And it's your mindset, and it's your movement. 00:27:25.359 --> 00:27:27.200 Sure, you're like you said, you're still going through shit. 00:27:27.279 --> 00:27:27.680 Oh my God. 00:27:27.920 --> 00:27:29.759 Bad things are still happening in the world. 00:27:29.920 --> 00:27:30.160 Yeah. 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:33.119 Now more than ever, but you it's positive. 00:27:33.200 --> 00:27:33.759 It's a mindset. 00:27:33.839 --> 00:27:34.000 Yeah. 00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:35.119 And it's not easy. 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:39.279 And I think a lot of people listening to this might be like, my God, I've heard that so many times. 00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:40.960 I've heard that so many times. 00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:44.079 Just talk nicely to yourself, just think positive. 00:27:44.319 --> 00:27:47.519 Yeah, that does sound it sounds like a cliche. 00:27:47.680 --> 00:27:48.640 It sounds like it's not gonna happen. 00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:51.359 Yeah, and it just sounds like you're just saying words. 00:27:52.640 --> 00:27:54.240 And and I used to feel that way. 00:27:54.319 --> 00:27:55.359 And then it worked. 00:27:55.519 --> 00:27:59.359 And then it worked, and it works because you have to literally do it all the time. 00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:02.720 And it's not gonna be fun, and it's not gonna be easy, and it's not gonna be quick. 00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:03.279 Yep. 00:28:03.440 --> 00:28:05.599 But you can look at me on the other side of it. 00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:06.799 It's really worth it. 00:28:06.960 --> 00:28:08.319 It is, it's really worth it. 00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:09.279 It truly is. 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:10.720 Do you read self-help books? 00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:11.759 Are you Yeah? 00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:14.000 I uh I'm not a good reader. 00:28:14.160 --> 00:28:15.920 I want to be more of a reader. 00:28:16.079 --> 00:28:18.960 I love the feeling of a physical book in my hands. 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:21.920 Um, but I've been getting into podcasts. 00:28:22.319 --> 00:28:22.880 So good. 00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:23.839 Perfect timing. 00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:27.200 Everyone at the mom has a podcast right now. 00:28:27.440 --> 00:28:28.240 Well, you know what? 00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:35.920 It's like when you find the ones where the person talking, you connect with them, and then it can kind of feel like you're listening to a friend or something. 00:28:36.079 --> 00:28:39.519 It's so and also like a big thing is you can do it when you're doing other things. 00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:39.839 Totally. 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:42.960 So like sitting down to read, I don't have time. 00:28:43.279 --> 00:28:44.079 Gotta make that money. 00:28:44.400 --> 00:28:44.960 I don't have time. 00:28:45.200 --> 00:28:45.839 Yeah, I get it. 00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:50.319 But yeah, I uh I guess podcasts are the self-help book of this generation. 00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:50.960 It really is. 00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:51.599 I hate that. 00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:59.200 Thinking about it, because I don't I'm not reading anything right now, but I even though we're talking about you can have a physical book. 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:04.000 She has a physical book! This is like I thought this was just funny. 00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:12.160 Yesterday I was cleaning my studio, and this out of the mess presents itself to me. 00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:16.400 It's like, oh, and I said, So you're a Capricorn? 00:29:16.640 --> 00:29:17.200 I'm a Capricorn. 00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:18.559 Oh, I am very much. 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:19.200 What is that? 00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:19.599 What month? 00:29:19.680 --> 00:29:19.920 What year? 00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.599 January, January 5th. 00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:22.400 Okay, cool. 00:29:22.559 --> 00:29:22.720 Yeah. 00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:23.680 What is a Capricorn? 00:29:23.839 --> 00:29:27.279 Like, what do they they give uh Sarah? 00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:28.079 They give Sarah. 00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:33.599 Just working all the time, like constantly, very, very money driven. 00:29:34.079 --> 00:29:39.440 Um, not in like a greedy, I mean maybe some Capricorns are greedy, but for me, it's more of like a stability sense, you know. 00:29:39.839 --> 00:29:40.400 Sure, comfortable. 00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:41.039 Yes. 00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:46.160 Um, very j like justice mindset. 00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:51.359 Black, not black and white, but like black and white in the sense of right and wrongs, you know? 00:29:52.079 --> 00:29:56.720 And I have what is you have your top five placements, three of mine are Capricorn. 00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:57.200 Oh, really? 00:29:57.359 --> 00:29:58.319 She's very Capricorn. 00:29:58.640 --> 00:30:00.480 She's very I should get into that again. 00:30:00.559 --> 00:30:05.279 I used to be really into like horoscopes and stuff, and now I'm just I'm just always very open. 00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:10.079 Like I always love to approach things of I don't know what I don't know. 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:10.640 Yep. 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:16.720 So me having been on this earth for 31 years, I do not know how the stars work. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:29.039 I do not know how the cosmos interact with the earth and with the bodies in a way that people who have discovered these things thousands of years ago, you know, my ex totally my experience is not gonna uh yeah. 00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:29.519 Yeah. 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:32.079 So I'm like, yeah, teach me. 00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:34.559 And I'll take it and I'll take it with a grain of salt. 00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:39.680 But with astrology, it really lands for me because of the scientific aspect. 00:30:40.000 --> 00:30:44.880 We know that the moon and the oceans, they work with one another, they impact.

00:30:45.039 --> 00:30:48.240 The moon impacts the water, the tides, all of that. 00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:50.480 We are 75% water. 00:30:50.640 --> 00:30:58.720 So if we think that we're on the same place as the ocean and the moon's not affecting this giant amount of water inside of us. 00:30:58.960 --> 00:30:59.839 I've never thought of it. 00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:00.480 Yeah. 00:31:00.720 --> 00:31:01.039 Wow. 00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:01.599 I know. 00:31:01.759 --> 00:31:02.720 That's what really got me. 00:31:02.799 --> 00:31:04.160 I was like, okay, for sure. 00:31:04.400 --> 00:31:05.440 You're like that stuck. 00:31:05.599 --> 00:31:06.400 That's for sure a thing. 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:07.279 Oh, that's interesting. 00:31:07.359 --> 00:31:07.519 Yeah. 00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:09.359 Maybe I need to get back into my hippie-dippiness. 00:31:09.680 --> 00:31:11.519 I'm always a big supporter of uh. 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:16.559 I feel like I just got out of it as a my partner is so not he's like, oh boy, here we go. 00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:19.440 I'm like, I call he's an Aquarius and he's like, I'm an aquemini. 00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:25.680 Just like everything is like tongue in cheek, but then I'm like, when I show him something, he gets it. 00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:28.319 Yeah, and he doesn't want to admit it, but I can see it. 00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:28.960 Of course. 00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:30.319 Same, same. 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:31.119 That's so funny. 00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:35.279 Let's talk about like the early years of art, basically. 00:31:35.599 --> 00:31:36.960 Have you always been doing art? 00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:38.160 Where did it come from? 00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:40.720 You are kind of you say you're a self-taught artist. 00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:44.160 So tell me about your journey through building your brand. 00:31:44.480 --> 00:31:48.319 And you are a hundred like this is your full-time job, correct? 00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:56.240 Yes, right now I am working two full-time jobs because as I mentioned with the caretaking, we got a lot of bills to pay. 00:31:56.400 --> 00:31:59.039 So I ended up having to get a remote job. 00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:06.480 So I am doing 40 hours marketing and social media for another company, and then also doing my business full-time still. 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:09.279 Yeah, so it's a lot. 00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:11.680 Um, but I'm not, it's fine. 00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:12.480 We'll get through it. 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:13.359 It's a phase. 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:21.200 Um, but yeah, so I would say I've always been drawn to drawn to creating in general. 00:32:21.440 --> 00:32:30.880 Like when I was little, singing and dancing all the time, painting, drawing, making jewelry, like anything I could get my hands on. 00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:37.119 Um, my mom actually has two of my paintings as like the centerpiece in her dining room that I made in first grade. 00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:37.680 Wow. 00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:42.240 And it's funny because one of them is like this wonky face that kind of looks like these. 00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:46.079 So it's so funny how I kind of full circled back to that style. 00:32:46.319 --> 00:32:47.119 That's amazing. 00:32:47.359 --> 00:32:47.759 Yeah. 00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:53.519 Um, but I would say that for the majority of my life, art was something fun on the side. 00:32:54.000 --> 00:33:09.200 I adore my mother, but she definitely raised me in the mindset of academics, medicine, law, creative careers were not really presented to me as a viable option. 00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.160 And that's no negativity, negativity to her. 00:33:12.240 --> 00:33:13.200 That's how she was raised, you know. 00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:16.480 So that's the generation she's a doctor, so that makes sense. 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:17.279 Yes, 100%. 00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:31.279 And so, but I was always the kid in class that had like 30 different colored pens and highlighters, and my notes were super pretty, and I would spend hours in the library studying for an exam, but I wasn't studying, I was drawing, I was making my notes pretty. 00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:31.519 Yeah. 00:33:31.599 --> 00:33:38.799 And then I would be cramming because by the time the exam comes, and I'm not even halfway through the chapters because I'm drawing all the pretty words. 00:33:39.359 --> 00:33:40.240 I think I'm doing something. 00:33:40.319 --> 00:33:43.039 It looks nice, it feels sufficient. 00:33:43.519 --> 00:33:48.079 Um, and so it wasn't, I was like, I was gonna go to law school 100%. 00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:56.079 I was doing my by by the time it was my senior year in college, I was doing a lot of wrongful conviction legal work. 00:33:56.319 --> 00:34:02.319 So I had an internship with the Duke Innocence Project, yeah, Duke Innocence Project in their law school. 00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:04.559 Um, and I were I worked in the jail mail room. 00:34:04.720 --> 00:34:16.159 So I got to open letters from prisoners, read their case, and then determine if they were a case for the Innocence Project, or if not, provide them resources to who could actually help them. 00:34:16.880 --> 00:34:30.320 And I helped a professor of mine do, he wrote a book on the death penalty, and it was called like, is the death penalty really reserved for the worst of the worst criminals, which is what it's intended for. 00:34:30.559 --> 00:34:37.039 And so it was a lot of researching and putting together educational, you know, information about that. 00:34:37.119 --> 00:34:46.960 Um, so I was very much law school, and then a friend of mine actually tragically passed away, a close friend from summer camp. 00:34:47.440 --> 00:34:52.960 And when that happened, it was my first real experience with death. 00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:57.760 And it complete me, completely threw me off everything. 00:34:57.920 --> 00:34:59.119 And this was 2017. 00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:18.000 So this was I ended up having

to drop down to like three classes in my final semester, and then like ended up having to take a year before I even finished college and really unpack a lot of stuff. 00:35:18.639 --> 00:35:23.599 And in doing that, I realized I do not want to be a lawyer. 00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:26.239 I do not want to be, I do not want to go to law school. 00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:27.840 I want to help people. 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:28.400 Yeah. 00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:32.480 That's what it that's what I was getting from the wrongful conviction work. 00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:36.480 And so when I then I had moved back to my mom's at that point. 00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:40.000 So then I moved back to North Carolina and I decided I wanted to go to Durham. 00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:42.320 And it was the pandemic. 00:35:42.559 --> 00:35:48.079 Pandemic had just hit and I was nannying and I lost the nannying gig. 00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:52.719 And I was like, dude, we're in a global pandemic and I got bills to pay and no one's hiring. 00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:54.000 So no one's open. 00:35:54.159 --> 00:35:56.239 No one's like the world is closed. 00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:56.639 Yeah. 00:35:57.119 --> 00:36:04.960 So I posted, I had just like paintings and drawings and art from throughout the years, and I posted them on Facebook and sold almost all of them. 00:36:05.119 --> 00:36:05.360 Wow. 00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:06.880 Which blew my mind. 00:36:07.039 --> 00:36:10.159 And I had people commenting, like, oh, can you come and do a mural in my store? 00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:12.079 Oh, can I commission you for this, this, and this? 00:36:12.159 --> 00:36:16.639 And I was like, okay, I've literally made one painting for another person ever. 00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:17.920 Like, this is crazy. 00:36:18.159 --> 00:36:18.880 Is crazy. 00:36:19.039 --> 00:36:21.920 And I was like, I need to look, I need to pursue this. 00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:26.159 And so I ended up finding Sessie's gallery in Durham. 00:36:26.320 --> 00:36:32.559 And I went there and showed her some of my work, and she offered me, uh, she does by phases every three months. 00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:34.000 So she offered me the next phase. 00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:43.679 And that's kind of how I started getting into the art world and really learning from other small business owners how to run a small business before I even started mine. 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:49.199 And so then slowly but surely, like she started letting me put art up on the walls. 00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:51.280 People started commissioning me from there. 00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:53.199 Then I started doing art markets. 00:36:53.440 --> 00:36:57.920 Then I was like, okay, this is picking up and becoming a thing. 00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:00.000 And at that point, I was working like three other jobs. 00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:02.719 I was like, you know, all social media for different businesses. 00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:04.880 I was working at an art store, I was doing this and this. 00:37:05.039 --> 00:37:08.960 And I was like, I think I want to work towards this being full-time. 00:37:09.280 --> 00:37:15.119 Because I was starting to see my cup being filled and my peace. 00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:17.920 I was finding my peace, my stability, all of those things. 00:37:18.079 --> 00:37:21.679 And is at that time, are you drawing what you're drawing now, like the same style? 00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:24.400 Or is it different stuff, or is it personal stuff or them? 00:37:24.639 --> 00:37:30.159 The very first drop that I did was just random things that I had made throughout life, right? 00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:36.880 And then a friend of mine actually asked me to do a line art drawing for her that she found on Pinterest, like just recreated for her room. 00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:39.679 And I did that, and I was like, I really liked that. 00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:41.119 I've never done that style. 00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:41.440 Yeah. 00:37:41.679 --> 00:37:44.000 And then I just started making my own line designs. 00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:46.719 So my first market, I had four baskets. 00:37:46.880 --> 00:37:50.719 Each basket had like three designs, and they were all the same size. 00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:55.519 And I had a poster board that I wrote, Sara Rosa Creations. 00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:56.480 That's what it was back then. 00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:58.079 Sara Rosa Creations. 00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:01.199 And I set up at art post for the flight market in Durham. 00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:17.519 And that was like the most like life-changing thing for me because the interactions I had, the experiences, the conversations, the validation, the way I felt was just what I kind of been searching for, you know. 00:38:18.079 --> 00:38:34.000 And so I think that's what fuels the millions of hours you have to put into it, the every Saturday morning I have to work, you know, like I I'd want to do those things because what's fueling it is I'm chasing that feeling. 00:38:34.079 --> 00:38:35.599 Yeah, I want that in my life. 00:38:35.840 --> 00:38:36.480 I love it. 00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:38.400 And that's exactly what you were looking for. 00:38:38.480 --> 00:38:39.679 You were looking for those conversations. 00:38:39.840 --> 00:38:42.320 You were looking to help people without going to law school. 00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:43.840 And you are helping people by your art. 00:38:44.079 --> 00:38:54.159 Do you paint all your art sticks out to me, but really stuck out to me when I first met you is that you painted different types of breasts, specifically because after breast cancer, they don't look the same. 00:38:54.320 --> 00:38:54.639 Yes. 00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:56.400 That was like and I and I had an aunt. 00:38:56.480 --> 00:38:59.840 I had a couple ants with breast cancer, so I think that maybe like hit closer to me. 00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:02.400 But it was so interesting to see it on paper. 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:06.880 And I think you have one

that's like maybe three different types of breasts on a piece of paper. 00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:08.960 I think it's three rows of three. 00:39:09.280 --> 00:39:10.480 That one's called diversity. 00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:13.440 But that one is something I think about all the time. 00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:14.880 Yeah, and I've seen it maybe once. 00:39:15.039 --> 00:39:16.079 And the first time I met you. 00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:19.039 And we have to we're because we're gonna make diversion. 00:39:19.199 --> 00:39:21.599 We have a commission and project of those. 00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:22.480 I can't wait. 00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:38.800 But yes, that is a big, big, big foundation of what I do is representation, is empowerment and encouraging people to embrace their nature, who they are, how they are, where they're at. 00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:52.800 You do not have to be a certain height, shape, size, career, anything to be worthy and to love yourself and to be kind to yourself and to allow yourself positive things. 00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:53.599 Totally. 00:39:53.920 --> 00:40:01.679 And I think I really, with the line art, sending these pieces home with people, that is like everything to me. 00:40:01.840 --> 00:40:19.840 Knowing that that piece is going to be in their home, whether it's a bathroom, a bedroom, somewhere where they, when they're feeling vulnerable, they can look at that, they can remember the conversation we had, they can remember what's behind the piece, and they can remind themselves and sh and shift the mindset. 00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:20.079 Yeah. 00:40:20.239 --> 00:40:22.079 Get you out of that negative space. 00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:26.960 And so, like, it's doing a lot for me because it's doing a lot for them. 00:40:27.199 --> 00:40:37.920 And I feel like it's I'm healing and they're healing, and I'm able to fulfill what I wanted with the helping people, but still be doing what fills my cup. 00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:38.480 100%. 00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:39.119 Yeah. 00:40:39.360 --> 00:40:48.719 That's I think working with women specifically, or the female body specifically, and paying attention to it is something so special that I didn't realize because I deal with naked bodies all day. 00:40:48.800 --> 00:40:50.000 Yeah, physically naked bodies. 00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:54.000 And I even started doing spray tans recently, which they're even more naked than people. 00:40:54.239 --> 00:40:56.159 And at first I was just like, it's kind of weird. 00:40:56.480 --> 00:41:00.000 But then it's like the female body is so freaking beautiful. 00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:10.559 Like I knew that because I like my body, but like seeing different colors, different shapes, different sizes, like different stretch marks, different birthmarks, different. 00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:12.480 Oh, I love it. 00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:15.039 And it's so everyone's so scared and so nervous. 00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:20.559 And and I have to tell them or I get to tell them, like,

everything is weird and everything is normal. 00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:20.880 Yeah. 00:41:21.039 --> 00:41:23.519 At the same exact time, everything is weird, normal, and beautiful. 00:41:23.760 --> 00:41:24.079 Beautiful. 00:41:24.159 --> 00:41:24.960 I gotta add that one in there. 00:41:25.119 --> 00:41:25.920 Yeah, add that one in there. 00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:28.159 Because it it it everyone's like, oh my god, I'm sorry. 00:41:28.400 --> 00:41:28.719 Why? 00:41:29.119 --> 00:41:30.079 And I still do that. 00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:41.840 Like I I can talk day and night about how much I have changed my mindset, but at the end of the day, I am still a person and I'm still a woman in this time and place. 00:41:42.239 --> 00:41:44.719 And my brain is not my best friend all the time. 00:41:44.800 --> 00:41:45.519 Yeah, it's not. 00:41:45.760 --> 00:41:46.400 No, totally. 00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:52.880 And you know, perfect example is like a few years back, I gained a lot of weight and I got stretch marks on my belly for the first time. 00:41:53.119 --> 00:41:55.599 And, you know, the first few years, they're real bright. 00:41:55.760 --> 00:41:57.679 And like after a while, they start to fade. 00:41:57.920 --> 00:42:07.119 But I was so self-conscious for years, bathing suits, one piece is only, never wearing crop tops, making sure nothing, no little bit was peeking out. 00:42:07.280 --> 00:42:17.440 And then at one point, I was like talking to my partner and I said, What do you think about the idea of me getting like a floral tattoo or something that like covers them? 00:42:17.599 --> 00:42:19.280 And he was like, Don't do that. 00:42:19.360 --> 00:42:20.639 You're so beautiful. 00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:26.480 Like, I love seeing all the little marks on your body and what makes you you. 00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:38.079 And, you know, I that like sure it's we don't want all of our self-worth to come from other people, yeah, but to be validated by someone who you expect to give a different. 00:42:38.400 --> 00:42:47.920 Like, I would expect a 36-year-old guy to be like, yeah, ew, stretch marks because of how my brain has been molded growing up. 00:42:48.159 --> 00:42:51.039 But no, that's not how the real world operates. 00:42:51.360 --> 00:42:54.880 No, real partners, real men, they do not care about that. 00:42:55.119 --> 00:42:57.679 Grown men, mature men don't care about that. 00:42:58.000 --> 00:43:02.159 And not only don't care, they see it as beauty. 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:02.960 They see it. 00:43:03.199 --> 00:43:03.440 Yes. 00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:07.679 And it's, and I really want to emphasize it's not about the male perspective and it's not about what men like. 00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:10.320 But my partner happens to be a man. 00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:17.760 And so in that context, it was just a very validating and perspective shifting moment. 00:43:18.000 --> 00:43:18.239 Yeah. 00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:27.199 And I'm still working on it, but like I've been going out on my crop tops and my shorts, and like I I'm not thinking about it. 00:43:27.360 --> 00:43:28.159 And that's the part. 00:43:28.239 --> 00:43:30.639 It's like get to a place, work, work, work on it. 00:43:30.719 --> 00:43:32.719 So you can get to a place where you're not thinking about it. 00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:33.119 100%. 00:43:33.440 --> 00:43:35.119 You're not trying not to, you're just not. 00:43:35.280 --> 00:43:36.239 Yes, I love it. 00:43:36.320 --> 00:43:37.119 And that's just peace. 00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:37.440 Yeah. 00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:38.239 We feel peaceful. 00:43:38.400 --> 00:43:38.480 Yeah. 00:43:38.639 --> 00:43:40.559 How do you feel when you're outside in those crop tops? 00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:41.039 Cute. 00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:42.239 Yeah, exactly. 00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:43.519 Cute, confident. 00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:56.079 Also, I think like switching to wearing more colorful things and like pieces that I like, because I I was all black for so many years, especially I worked in the restaurant industry, so all my clothes were all black. 00:43:56.320 --> 00:43:58.159 And you're like, oh, black is swimming. 00:43:58.320 --> 00:43:59.760 I'm so glad to be past that. 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:02.800 Because when you get dressed, it's like, oh my God, this shirt is so cute. 00:44:02.880 --> 00:44:04.239 It has little whatever on it. 00:44:04.320 --> 00:44:05.599 And then you love that piece. 00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:10.000 So then when it's on you, you're like, I love everything that's going on here. 00:44:10.239 --> 00:44:10.400 Yeah. 00:44:10.559 --> 00:44:13.199 I just had that conversation with my partner yesterday wearing black. 00:44:13.280 --> 00:44:14.079 I used to wear black all the time. 00:44:14.159 --> 00:44:14.239 Yeah. 00:44:14.480 --> 00:44:16.159 The beauty industry, restaurant industry. 00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:18.239 And I was just like, I wear color all the time now. 00:44:18.320 --> 00:44:18.400 Yeah. 00:44:18.559 --> 00:44:19.360 As I'm in all black today. 00:44:19.679 --> 00:44:20.079 I know there is. 00:44:20.159 --> 00:44:20.320 I know. 00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.480 As soon as I said that, I was like, I know you're the same now. 00:44:22.719 --> 00:44:23.280 That's so funny. 00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:25.760 I didn't even think about that because I normally am in color at this point. 00:44:25.840 --> 00:44:28.320 But I think there was a phase where I was like, no black, no black. 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:29.519 Yeah, no, oh, I did that too. 00:44:29.679 --> 00:44:33.280 And now I'm like, okay, you can wear black because you don't wear it every single time. 00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:35.840 You're allowed to sprinkle it in. 00:44:36.239 --> 00:44:40.400 But I remember being in, I was in a sophomore art class and I was wearing black. 00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:43.039 And a girl in my class was like, Oh, do you wear black every day? 00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.000 Because it's slimming. 00:44:44.239 -->

00:44:45.360 And you hadn't even thought of that. 00:44:45.519 --> 00:44:46.639 I had never thought of it. 00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:48.639 And then I'm like, mom, is this a thing? 00:44:48.800 --> 00:44:50.239 And isn't that interesting also? 00:44:50.480 --> 00:44:51.360 Just some random girl. 00:44:51.519 --> 00:44:53.280 And that, and then how it sticks with you. 00:44:53.519 --> 00:44:54.480 Because how many years later? 00:44:54.559 --> 00:44:55.760 And you still remember that. 00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:57.760 I was like, because that's so funny. 00:44:57.840 --> 00:45:00.159 Because in this moment, I'm like, was I looking chunky? 00:45:00.320 --> 00:45:00.480 Right. 00:45:00.639 --> 00:45:02.079 Was I fat that day? 00:45:02.320 --> 00:45:06.480 Like, and I'm a sophomore in high school being talked to by another girl that I don't even know. 00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:08.000 Like, I didn't even know who she was. 00:45:08.639 --> 00:45:09.440 So crazy. 00:45:09.519 --> 00:45:13.440 But yeah, it does stick with you because I never really I mean I think about it, I guess, but I don't think about it. 00:45:13.519 --> 00:45:14.400 Like, we're not having these come. 00:45:14.880 --> 00:45:15.199 Right. 00:45:15.360 --> 00:45:15.679 Yeah. 00:45:16.960 --> 00:45:18.000 Who goes this? 00:45:18.320 --> 00:45:24.159 So this is a great question, but it kind of goes back to your mom's centerpieces and her table, coming back to your art. 00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:28.159 So I asked, would your past self recognize your work today? 00:45:28.480 --> 00:45:33.679 And I think the answer is yes because of that and that conversation we just had. 00:45:33.840 --> 00:45:40.320 And I think it's so interesting that you bring that up because this style of the like funky faces. 00:45:41.679 --> 00:45:46.960 I when I started out, I was doing the line art and I was very much in the mindset of I'm building a business. 00:45:47.119 --> 00:45:48.960 So I'm building a product line. 00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:56.480 And I burned myself out so fast just doing line art because that's not enough creative expression for me. 00:45:56.639 --> 00:46:15.519 And so I was also struggling with not wanting to not wanting to copy other artists, you know, and trying to find the balance between being inspired by and reference photos versus getting someone's piece in my brain and then sticking on that image. 00:46:16.159 --> 00:46:24.480 So I made it a point to sit down and just what do I create when I don't have any visual reference points, any visual inspiration? 00:46:24.559 --> 00:46:26.559 It's just coming from within me. 00:46:26.639 --> 00:46:26.960 Yeah. 00:46:27.199 --> 00:46:28.400 And it's these faces. 00:46:28.719 --> 00:46:33.599 I start with the eyes, then I do the mouth or the nose, whatever, and then I create the shapes and I keep going and going. 00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:42.719 And so then when I went back to my mom's house and I saw that piece on the wall from first grade, that was this funky

face, all made up of different shapes. 00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:45.199 I was like, that's so crazy. 00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:57.199 That I had that in me, and then I was able to tap back into that without even realizing, you know, that that was a thing. 00:46:57.280 --> 00:46:57.440 Yeah. 00:46:57.679 --> 00:46:59.760 So I would say, yeah, she definitely would. 00:46:59.920 --> 00:47:00.400 That's awesome. 00:47:00.559 --> 00:47:02.719 And she'd be like, mine looks better though. 00:47:04.159 --> 00:47:05.440 That's what you do now. 00:47:05.599 --> 00:47:05.760 Oh. 00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:07.519 Too perfect. 00:47:07.840 --> 00:47:08.719 Couldn't be me. 00:47:09.519 --> 00:47:10.239 I love it. 00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:19.119 That is funny that we brought that up today because I've been finding things where like I, the digital work I, or I guess like the posts I create for social media. 00:47:19.280 --> 00:47:21.840 And I remember being, I'm such a greener. 00:47:22.239 --> 00:47:35.519 I remember building PowerPoints of pop culture back in the day and designing it with the crazy fonts on Word and the 3D fonts on the font. 00:47:35.840 --> 00:47:36.559 Absolutely word art. 00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:38.880 And I yes, and yes, thank you. 00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:40.159 Word art, yes. 00:47:40.400 --> 00:47:47.599 And that was like we used to do also, we didn't have any type of social media type of like AIM. 00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:48.159 I remember that. 00:47:48.320 --> 00:47:48.559 Yeah. 00:47:48.719 --> 00:47:53.119 But so like to have fun, we were doing creative things way more often. 00:47:53.360 --> 00:47:53.840 Totally. 00:47:54.000 --> 00:48:00.079 So like, yeah, I made so many weird the amount of photo booth photo shoots that me and my friend would do. 00:48:00.239 --> 00:48:07.519 And it's like you're getting all dressed up and you're just taking endless pictures in your room to show to put in a Facebook album. 00:48:07.679 --> 00:48:07.840 Yes. 00:48:08.000 --> 00:48:11.280 But even before Facebook, like we were just always doing that kind of stuff. 00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:26.480 And I think it's interesting because then you it like you said, you were you were drawn to that as a child, and then the way that like the cycle, you come all the way to now you are a business owner, full grown woman, and you're seeing that again. 00:48:26.719 --> 00:48:29.280 You're seeing that same imagery pop back up. 00:48:29.519 --> 00:48:29.920 That's crazy. 00:48:30.000 --> 00:48:33.039 And then I'm like, if I would have worked harder, I could have been further. 00:48:33.280 --> 00:48:33.599 No. 00:48:34.639 --> 00:48:36.079 Sometimes I do have that thought though. 00:48:36.239 --> 00:48:36.800 Oh, I do too. 00:48:36.960 --> 00:48:40.320 You get like, I feel like because you have to go to college and you have to just play sport. 00:48:40.400 --> 00:48:42.000 Well, you don't have to, but like my thing was sports. 00:48:42.079 --> 00:48:47.440 So, like, yeah, I'm do I'm

weightlifting, I'm doing all that stuff at like 10 years old to 22. 00:48:47.679 --> 00:48:49.440 And then it's like, where's the fun? 00:48:49.519 --> 00:48:50.719 Where's the creativity? 00:48:50.960 --> 00:48:54.079 Because part of me was like, I'm not artistic, I'm not that. 00:48:54.159 --> 00:48:56.639 I don't have creativity, but it's a different type. 00:48:56.800 --> 00:49:01.360 And when I look back, I have a box of every art piece I ever did in high school. 00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:02.400 I was so good. 00:49:02.639 --> 00:49:08.800 But like, was I good because she was teaching it to me and we were doing it in the moment, or was I good because I liked it and I had the time to do it? 00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:12.000 And it's crazy because, like, my man, he's so into art. 00:49:12.079 --> 00:49:13.760 He he could have a studio, we have so much art. 00:49:14.239 --> 00:49:14.400 Really? 00:49:14.719 --> 00:49:19.039 Um, and it's great, but he's fallen out of it, and that was like his thing after school. 00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:27.039 And so it's like you you grow up and you become an adult and you have to do these things, but we have to center ourselves, we have to ground ourselves, we have to get back to the childhood. 00:49:27.519 --> 00:49:33.599 You have to intentionally allow space and time for the things that just make you happy. 00:49:33.760 --> 00:49:41.360 Yeah, they may not be helping you move forward to whatever goal you have, but not everything has to. 00:49:41.519 --> 00:49:42.400 Yeah, that's a good point. 00:49:42.480 --> 00:49:45.280 I think that's something I struggle with because I do have so many goals. 00:49:45.840 --> 00:49:48.639 And I I don't think I'm behind by any means. 00:49:48.800 --> 00:49:52.320 Because I in some aspects I'm I guess I was about to be. 00:49:52.719 --> 00:49:56.960 I guess like in some aspects, I would love to have children and a family. 00:49:57.119 --> 00:50:01.920 But then I also remember when I was writing in my journal as a kid, I was like, I don't want to have a family until I'm 28. 00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:04.079 And now I'm 29, and I'm like, okay, I'm ready for that. 00:50:04.480 --> 00:50:04.719 Interesting. 00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:05.599 So crazy, right? 00:50:05.679 --> 00:50:05.760 Yeah. 00:50:05.920 --> 00:50:13.599 And then there's the other side of it where I go to these networking events and I have this business and I I do these things, and in my brain, I'm like, I could do so much better. 00:50:13.760 --> 00:50:23.760 But like the people I'm hanging out with are 40 years old, 50 years old, and they are they're doing corporate America and their side, their their side hustle that is trying to be their main hustle. 00:50:23.840 --> 00:50:25.039 And you have it as your main. 00:50:25.360 --> 00:50:27.119 Yeah, I just learned this yesterday. 00:50:27.599 --> 00:50:28.960 Like, that sounds crazy. 00:50:29.119 --> 00:50:33.039 I was in a room yesterday, and people kept asking me, like, oh, you're a full entrepreneur. 00:50:33.119 --> 00:50:34.000 Are you a full entrepreneur? 00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:35.840 And I'm like, in my brain, I'm like, duh. 00:50:36.320 --> 00:50:37.519 Like, aren't you? 00:50:37.840 --> 00:50:38.079 No. 00:50:38.400 --> 00:50:38.880 No, no. 00:50:39.840 --> 00:50:40.800 Most people aren't. 00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:41.679 I didn't know that. 00:50:41.840 --> 00:50:42.079 Yeah. 00:50:42.239 --> 00:50:46.320 And I don't know if it's because and then I was like, I don't am I not working hard enough? 00:50:46.400 --> 00:50:47.039 Do I need more money? 00:50:47.199 --> 00:50:47.920 Do they need more money? 00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:49.119 Do like that's where my brain is. 00:50:49.360 --> 00:50:55.360 But yes, because if they have, there's so like you can make a living on art or being creative. 00:50:56.480 --> 00:50:59.920 It it all comes down to what are your expenses? 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:00.239 Yeah. 00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:02.639 You know, like right now, I don't have children. 00:51:02.719 --> 00:51:03.760 I don't own a house. 00:51:04.320 --> 00:51:10.960 I'm capable of living my life the way I am and still being able to cover everything. 00:51:11.119 --> 00:51:15.679 But if I even had one child, I would, oh my gosh, I wouldn't be able to afford that. 00:51:16.159 --> 00:51:16.960 It's crazy to think of. 00:51:17.039 --> 00:51:19.599 And then like me stepping into this, like, oh, I want children. 00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:21.760 And I'm like, okay, well, now we gotta think about this. 00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:22.639 What does that look like? 00:51:22.880 --> 00:51:25.039 Yes, because I don't have a vehicle right now. 00:51:25.119 --> 00:51:27.599 I stay in the heart of the city, I work in the heart of the city. 00:51:27.920 --> 00:51:28.960 I don't leave the city. 00:51:29.039 --> 00:51:29.199 Yeah. 00:51:29.440 --> 00:51:31.039 But like my baby's gonna need a doctor. 00:51:31.280 --> 00:51:34.400 Like, those are all things where my man and I are in the middle of a conversation. 00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:37.119 I'm automatically like, well, how would you handle this if we have a child? 00:51:37.360 --> 00:51:39.280 And so that's my mindset at all times. 00:51:39.360 --> 00:51:42.400 But then I'm also like, well, you have to build your business, but you have to do this. 00:51:42.559 --> 00:51:44.719 It's some crazy world to think of. 00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:52.400 And it's not, and I'm not the I'm not really the person that's comparing myself to other people, but like sitting here talking about this, I guess I am comparing myself to other people. 00:51:52.639 --> 00:52:04.239 I think it's more you're comparing yourself to other paths, you know, because you're looking at what other people have worked towards and accomplished and built for themselves. 00:52:04.320 --> 00:52:07.199 And you're thinking, oh, do I want a do I want some of that? 00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:07.920 Do I want some of this? 00:52:08.079 --> 00:52:09.840

And you're figuring out what you want. 00:52:10.239 --> 00:52:23.199 So in doing that, it becomes overwhelming and makes you second guess your path that you're currently taking because you may not feel like you're working towards those goals, but they haven't been your goals yet. 00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:29.199 So, like if you decide that's your goal, you're gonna pivot and you're gonna put everything into it and you're gonna make it happen. 00:52:29.360 --> 00:52:34.320 That's you don't have it now and you're not working towards it now because it hasn't become your priority. 00:52:34.480 --> 00:52:37.519 And so I do the same thing all the time. 00:52:38.159 --> 00:52:47.360 And I'm trying to constantly remind myself to interpret that differently, you know, interpret that as okay, that must mean that there's more I want to work towards. 00:52:47.679 --> 00:52:54.159 Let me figure out what those things are so that I can put my energy into achieving them. 00:52:54.239 --> 00:52:54.320 Yeah. 00:52:54.480 --> 00:53:05.599 And then I can be in that position where I feel all my like I feel my path is where I want to be and is headed the right way. 00:53:05.679 --> 00:53:09.519 And like I'm not experiencing as much of that looking at other paths. 00:53:09.679 --> 00:53:10.960 Yeah, that's a good point. 00:53:11.119 --> 00:53:15.280 And I think I feel like you are very similar with me somewhat. 00:53:15.440 --> 00:53:18.960 Like, we do post on social media, but we're very much in the real world. 00:53:19.039 --> 00:53:21.199 We're very much hate social media. 00:53:21.519 --> 00:53:21.920 It's hard. 00:53:22.159 --> 00:53:24.559 I am hate it on it a lot. 00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:28.000 I'm I'm not consuming it, but I am definitely posting. 00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:33.840 And it's overwhelming when I decide to consume because then I'm like, What should I consume? 00:53:34.000 --> 00:53:35.119 What should I consume? 00:53:35.280 --> 00:53:36.480 What is trash? 00:53:36.719 --> 00:53:38.239 Who aligns with me? 00:53:38.480 --> 00:53:39.440 I have five accounts. 00:53:39.519 --> 00:53:41.039 Who do I want on this algorithm? 00:53:41.440 --> 00:53:43.039 Who do I want on that algorithm? 00:53:43.199 --> 00:53:47.599 And also, like, there's so many events that I want to attend, but I'm also hosting events. 00:53:47.760 --> 00:53:50.559 So I get overwhelmed with like like this week specifically. 00:53:50.719 --> 00:53:56.239 I could have gone to two events a night by people I actually know that they are throwing these events. 00:53:56.320 --> 00:53:56.559 Yeah. 00:53:56.800 --> 00:53:58.000 That's overwhelming. 00:53:58.159 --> 00:53:58.400 It is. 00:53:58.559 --> 00:54:02.719 And it's also like, I don't want to be like, why is everyone and their mom doing an event? 00:54:02.800 --> 00:54:07.519 Or like everybody thinks that they should host an event, but then I'm like, is it just my people? 00:54:07.679 --> 00:54:08.559 Is it just my algorithm? 00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:10.960 Is it just like the people I surround myself with? 00:54:11.039 --> 00:54:13.679 Because I want to be with winners and they want to be with winners. 00:54:14.000 --> 00:54:19.199 Because when I talk to my friends that aren't like in the business world, they are like, what are you even talking about? 00:54:19.440 --> 00:54:21.199 Yeah, because they're getting fed totally different things. 00:54:21.360 --> 00:54:22.559 And it's fucking trash. 00:54:22.639 --> 00:54:22.800 Yeah. 00:54:22.960 --> 00:54:25.360 I look at their news feed and I'm like, ew, ew. 00:54:25.519 --> 00:54:31.119 Mine this week is all hand on, but normally, normally it's very educational. 00:54:31.280 --> 00:54:32.400 But do you feel that way? 00:54:32.559 --> 00:54:38.480 Because I looked at your Instagram today and it cut like you post, but it also looks like you kind of don't live on there. 00:54:38.559 --> 00:54:38.800 No. 00:54:38.960 --> 00:54:39.920 And that's awesome. 00:54:40.079 --> 00:54:41.360 But does it get overwhelming? 00:54:41.519 --> 00:54:41.679 Yeah. 00:54:41.920 --> 00:54:47.840 And I'll say that most of my posting is to my Instagram story because I feel that's the easiest. 00:54:47.920 --> 00:54:50.880 Like it's just the most I can quickly do it. 00:54:51.360 --> 00:54:53.679 And that's probably not the most impactful. 00:54:53.760 --> 00:54:54.880 And I don't know. 00:54:54.960 --> 00:54:55.280 Yeah. 00:54:55.519 --> 00:54:59.760 But I was way, way, way more into it for a while there. 00:55:00.239 --> 00:55:02.239 And my goals shifted. 00:55:02.800 --> 00:55:07.840 And, you know, I'm not trying to create a massive Instagram page. 00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:09.039 That's not my goal. 00:55:09.280 --> 00:55:13.760 That like having tons of followers is not going to drive my business forward. 00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:16.639 It's not going to drive my goals forward. 00:55:17.280 --> 00:55:25.280 So I'm much more focused on like what online things will actually help for me. 00:55:25.440 --> 00:55:28.159 Well, I think I need to have a newsletter that I keep up with. 00:55:28.320 --> 00:55:32.800 I think I need to maybe create a platform that's like a community, you know? 00:55:32.960 --> 00:55:37.760 Things that are, I don't need to be posting to the entire universe. 00:55:38.000 --> 00:55:38.480 Totally. 00:55:38.719 --> 00:55:40.719 I need to be talking to my community. 00:55:40.960 --> 00:55:41.360 Yes. 00:55:41.679 --> 00:55:48.320 And yeah, social media it helps me to find new community members, but in person does that way better. 00:55:48.480 --> 00:55:49.519 And you're good in person. 00:55:49.679 --> 00:55:51.280 And that's that's how I connect. 00:55:51.599 --> 00:55:53.039 I don't connect with people online. 00:55:53.199 --> 00:55:57.519 Like I think I was so desensitized from middle school and high school. 00:55:57.599 --> 00:56:04.079 Like the amount of when it was so new, we were just writing and talking to each other on there all the time

and texting. 00:56:04.239 --> 00:56:05.920 Every conversation was through text. 00:56:06.079 --> 00:56:12.480 And I undid that, like in college or like the end of high school college, I really undid that. 00:56:12.639 --> 00:56:18.559 And I just I know that I'm different behind the keyboard. 00:56:18.960 --> 00:56:20.800 I'm not as just authentic. 00:56:20.960 --> 00:56:21.199 Yeah. 00:56:21.360 --> 00:56:24.320 You're going to read, read it, and double check it. 00:56:24.400 --> 00:56:27.199 And then you're also like, oh, if I say this, all these, yeah. 00:56:27.440 --> 00:56:29.280 It's just it's too much. 00:56:29.599 --> 00:56:36.960 So if I can just go and meet people in person, and then we'll connect on social media so that we'll stay in touch. 00:56:37.119 --> 00:56:49.119 But yeah, I just feel like it's taken on a life that doesn't need to be everybody's thing. 00:56:49.440 --> 00:56:49.760 I agree. 00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:51.280 Even though it feels like it does. 00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:52.639 It does feel like it does. 00:56:52.800 --> 00:56:57.360 And again, being in this little social media world that I've been in, it's hard. 00:56:57.440 --> 00:56:58.320 It's overwhelming. 00:56:58.400 --> 00:56:59.840 And people really think that's your life. 00:57:00.079 --> 00:57:01.440 Like people come in here. 00:57:01.599 --> 00:57:03.039 It's so funny because I forget. 00:57:03.119 --> 00:57:08.400 I I well, I share on social media a lot, but I also don't share a lot on social media. 00:57:08.639 --> 00:57:11.199 But people really think I share everything on social media. 00:57:11.360 --> 00:57:13.599 So I'll have people come in here and be like, oh my God, I saw you do this. 00:57:13.679 --> 00:57:14.239 I saw you do that. 00:57:14.480 --> 00:57:15.039 How is this even? 00:57:15.119 --> 00:57:15.599 How is that even? 00:57:15.679 --> 00:57:16.000 How is that? 00:57:16.239 --> 00:57:18.480 And I'm to the point where I'm like, I do so much I don't know what you're talking about. 00:57:18.559 --> 00:57:18.880 Oh yeah. 00:57:19.039 --> 00:57:20.079 Like I don't even know what you're talking about. 00:57:20.480 --> 00:57:21.679 Because that's not my fucking life. 00:57:21.840 --> 00:57:23.440 Like you barely see my man on there. 00:57:23.519 --> 00:57:27.360 If you do, it's because I'm like, God, I haven't posted him in a while and I want to share about him. 00:57:27.440 --> 00:57:29.440 So you mofos know I got myself banned. 00:57:29.760 --> 00:57:30.000 Right, right. 00:57:30.239 --> 00:57:30.880 You know what I mean? 00:57:31.039 --> 00:57:31.199 Yeah. 00:57:31.360 --> 00:57:34.480 But it's really like I'm not posting a lot of my personal stuff. 00:57:34.639 --> 00:57:36.559 Like you choose, I choose what you see. 00:57:36.719 --> 00:57:39.920 And it's for marketing, it's for my business, it's for this podcast. 00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:41.119 Like that is what it is for. 00:57:41.440 --> 00:57:41.760 Same. 00:57:41.920 --> 00:57:42.800 People think

it's life. 00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:44.159 People really think it's life. 00:57:44.400 --> 00:57:44.719 Same. 00:57:44.880 --> 00:57:47.119 And I think like a perfect example of that. 00:57:47.280 --> 00:57:47.440 Okay. 00:57:47.599 --> 00:57:50.559 So I have just like you, like five accounts, right? 00:57:50.719 --> 00:57:54.400 I have one that is like 30 people on it, right? 00:57:54.559 --> 00:58:09.519 And that's the one where if I want to do a life update, if I want to do a weird post, like if I just want to do something that's just like not related to my business mindset, then that's where I'll do it. 00:58:09.679 --> 00:58:10.159 Nice. 00:58:10.320 --> 00:58:22.239 And I think it allows me to have that connection still with the people that are close to me, like in IRL, right? 00:58:22.800 --> 00:58:27.440 And then I can still maintain the image. 00:58:27.519 --> 00:58:34.000 And I'm not putting out different images in that sense, like, but it is your business image, your business persona. 00:58:34.239 --> 00:58:34.639 Totally. 00:58:34.800 --> 00:58:35.440 It is different. 00:58:35.519 --> 00:58:35.840 Yep. 00:58:36.000 --> 00:58:36.480 To a degree. 00:58:36.719 --> 00:58:36.960 It is. 00:58:37.039 --> 00:58:37.280 You know? 00:58:37.440 --> 00:58:38.480 I tried hard not to make it. 00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:40.000 It's to a degree. 00:58:40.079 --> 00:58:41.920 It's still me through and through. 00:58:42.079 --> 00:58:48.320 But like I'm not posting the weird selfie that I take in bed with the slice of pizza, right? 00:58:48.559 --> 00:58:50.000 Like that's not going on there. 00:58:50.159 --> 00:58:50.400 Yes. 00:58:50.639 --> 00:58:52.719 So that's what I have this little one for. 00:58:53.360 --> 00:58:53.760 I love. 00:58:54.000 --> 00:59:13.599 And I feel like that has allowed me to kind of find a balance where I don't feel pressured all the time to be posting on my like fashion page or business page or what art page, whatever it might be, because everything I'm doing there is from the like the intentionality is marketing or informing my community or whatever it might be. 00:59:13.760 --> 00:59:25.360 And I don't have to also be like, oh, I this big thing happened and I want my people to know, but I gotta be careful because I also have clients and people like business relationships. 00:59:25.840 --> 00:59:27.039 I don't have to do that. 00:59:27.199 --> 00:59:28.400 So wants to do that. 00:59:28.639 --> 00:59:28.800 Yeah. 00:59:28.880 --> 00:59:29.599 And that's what it was. 00:59:29.679 --> 00:59:30.800 I mean, that's where you felt. 00:59:31.039 --> 00:59:31.280 Yeah. 00:59:31.599 --> 00:59:32.159 Oh my gosh. 00:59:32.320 --> 00:59:32.480 Yeah. 00:59:32.639 --> 00:59:33.679 And I struggled so much. 00:59:33.760 --> 00:59:44.719 And that's what we were talking about earlier, where I was like, I'm really ready to start putting my face online more because I, for years, I've been feeling so protective of myself. 00:59:45.360 --> 00:59:51.599 And like, it's just, I'm not even gonna bring up all the potential negative things from being online, but because we all know what they are. 00:59:51.679 --> 00:59:52.159 Yeah. 00:59:52.400 --> 00:59:58.719 And so getting to a place where I felt like safe, I had to create this somewhat of a separation. 00:59:58.960 --> 00:59:59.199 Totally. 00:59:59.280 --> 00:59:59.920 No, I get that. 01:00:00.079 --> 01:00:00.480 I get that. 01:00:00.559 --> 01:00:04.880 And when you're not in a great place mentally, yeah, you don't want to fucking show up. 01:00:05.119 --> 01:00:06.079 You don't want to be online. 01:00:06.239 --> 01:00:08.880 And when it what if it you don't want to be perceived. 01:00:09.599 --> 01:00:15.679 And what you kind of overthinking a post, once I feel like I'm overthinking what my words, I just done, I close out. 01:00:15.760 --> 01:00:16.400 Yep, I can't. 01:00:16.480 --> 01:00:17.119 I'll come back to it. 01:00:17.280 --> 01:00:18.639 But I am like, it feels fake. 01:00:18.719 --> 01:00:19.039 I'm out. 01:00:19.360 --> 01:00:21.280 There's so many things I want to post online. 01:00:21.360 --> 01:00:27.760 If I like I want to be that girl, it truly, I want to be that girl that if I'm going through something hard, I can pick up my camera and be like, listen, guys, da-da-da-da-da. 01:00:28.079 --> 01:00:29.119 That feels fake to me. 01:00:29.440 --> 01:00:35.199 That does not feel real to me, but I'm not the girl that's also on there, like, this great thing happened to me. 01:00:35.440 --> 01:00:37.039 So like I have balance. 01:00:37.360 --> 01:00:44.960 But like when I was going through a really hard time last summer, I was posting more to inspire myself, but also inspire others. 01:00:45.119 --> 01:00:53.119 So, like that side of it, those that's when my business or that's when my personal page grew so much was when I was posting inspiration to help me get through the day. 01:00:53.360 --> 01:00:53.599 Interesting. 01:00:53.760 --> 01:00:55.119 But it was helping other people as well. 01:00:55.360 --> 01:00:55.440 Yeah. 01:00:55.599 --> 01:00:58.480 But then I fell out of that because like I'm not in a tough time right now. 01:00:58.639 --> 01:01:03.119 I'm I'm living life and I'm happy and I'm in a great space. 01:01:03.280 --> 01:01:08.000 So I'm not posting the ed or the not educational stuff, it's the inspirational stuff. 01:01:08.239 --> 01:01:09.360 Because you've internalized it. 01:01:09.440 --> 01:01:09.599 Yeah. 01:01:09.760 --> 01:01:13.519 So now you can tell it to yourself just from inside. 01:01:13.679 --> 01:01:16.559 You don't have to be putting it in front of yourself visually. 01:01:16.719 --> 01:01:20.000 So you've you did that and then it internalized, and so it served its purpose. 01:01:20.159 --> 01:01:20.320 Yeah. 01:01:20.480 --> 01:01:21.920 And I guess that's the whole point. 01:01:22.159 --> 01:01:25.840 And that's, I mean, there's a lot of things, and that's phases, you know? 01:01:26.000

--> 01:01:26.079 Yeah. 01:01:26.239 --> 01:01:30.960 We're always if you're doing life the right way, you're going through phases. 01:01:31.119 --> 01:01:35.840 You're growing, you're finding interests, losing interests, trying new things. 01:01:35.920 --> 01:01:36.719 Like true. 01:01:37.039 --> 01:01:37.440 So true. 01:01:37.599 --> 01:01:37.760 Yeah. 01:01:37.840 --> 01:01:40.480 Oh my god, this was such a good freaking conversation. 01:01:40.719 --> 01:01:43.599 All right, let's get into some she thrives OGs. 01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:46.559 What does thriving look like for you right now? 01:01:46.880 --> 01:02:02.159 Thriving for me right now is showing up for myself in like the community and the world and at things, but also showing up for myself like at home when it's just me, you know? 01:02:02.480 --> 01:02:02.880 Yes. 01:02:03.039 --> 01:02:05.679 And that looks like a lot of okay. 01:02:05.840 --> 01:02:13.679 I may not, I may be in a super frugal mindset, but I haven't eaten a good meal in a few days. 01:02:13.920 --> 01:02:17.519 I'm going and I'm getting some food and I'm gonna spend a little bit of money. 01:02:17.679 --> 01:02:18.800 I'll make that money back. 01:02:18.880 --> 01:02:24.800 Yeah, you know, treating treating myself how I would tell somebody else to treat themselves. 01:02:24.960 --> 01:02:25.840 That's a big one. 01:02:26.000 --> 01:02:26.559 Yeah, yeah. 01:02:26.719 --> 01:02:27.599 No, that's so good. 01:02:27.760 --> 01:02:29.280 Cause we all freaking need that. 01:02:29.519 --> 01:02:29.679 Yeah. 01:02:29.920 --> 01:02:33.199 Is there something you are stepping into that feels scary right now? 01:02:33.360 --> 01:02:33.599 Yes. 01:02:33.760 --> 01:02:35.119 Oh my god, lots of things. 01:02:35.679 --> 01:02:36.159 My life. 01:02:36.239 --> 01:02:36.400 Yeah. 01:02:36.639 --> 01:02:36.960 Out the door. 01:02:37.280 --> 01:02:38.400 My does really scary. 01:02:38.880 --> 01:02:42.800 My pants in the morning, several scary times. 01:02:43.039 --> 01:02:45.760 Um, yeah, I'm just in a very big transition phase. 01:02:45.840 --> 01:02:46.239 Yeah. 01:02:46.400 --> 01:02:54.639 And something that I've recently discovered is a a new passion of mine that I want to pursue is small business creative consulting. 01:02:54.800 --> 01:02:55.119 Okay. 01:02:55.599 --> 01:02:55.920 I know. 01:02:56.639 --> 01:02:57.199 Tell me more. 01:02:57.760 --> 01:03:06.880 So basically, when I set up at markets, when I set up at events, um, if I'm next to you, we're chatting. 01:03:07.039 --> 01:03:07.360 Totally. 01:03:07.679 --> 01:03:12.719 And I just, if you're telling me about your business, your life, your whatever, I'm making connections. 01:03:12.800 --> 01:03:14.159 Oh, I need to connect you to this person. 01:03:14.480 --> 01:03:16.320 You are, oh, you need to get this resource. 01:03:16.480 --> 01:03:18.960 Oh, this place, this, this, this, this, this, right. 01:03:19.199 --> 01:03:24.320 And so there's a few people where I set up near them pretty consistently. 01:03:24.480 --> 01:03:29.280 And so we've had a lot of these conversations and they've said to me, you need to be charging me for this. 01:03:29.440 --> 01:03:31.039 And I'm like, what is what do you even mean? 01:03:31.199 --> 01:03:33.679 And they're like, well, you're doing consulting. 01:03:33.760 --> 01:03:35.039 That's what you're doing. 01:03:35.280 --> 01:03:38.639 When, and a lot of people will, can I take you out for coffee and pick your brain? 01:03:38.800 --> 01:03:43.920 That's how I do a lot of, I've been doing a lot of consulting already. 01:03:44.239 --> 01:03:53.760 And so people are explaining to me, you can still do this, like, because I don't, I'm like, I don't want to stop myself from having these conversations because I need to monetize it, you know? 01:03:53.840 --> 01:03:56.559 And they're like, no, you can still do this, and then you can offer. 01:03:56.719 --> 01:03:58.559 Well, I do coaching sessions. 01:03:58.800 --> 01:04:04.159 So we can have an allotted two hours instead of just chatting at the market while we're working. 01:04:04.559 --> 01:04:15.760 And then I can help you, like, I've helped people build their websites, build out their spreadsheet tracking things like build out their like that social media thing I sent you for posting, scheduling posts, you know? 01:04:16.079 --> 01:04:16.239 Yes. 01:04:16.400 --> 01:04:22.239 Like all these things that I just have the knowledge because I've trained and taught myself everything about running a business. 01:04:22.800 --> 01:04:28.400 And so I'm very much of the belief that gatekeeping hurts you and everyone else. 01:04:28.880 --> 01:04:40.239 And if you share resources and information and you make connections and you help other people get opportunities, it's going to improve the environment you're in, the economy you're in, the industry you're in. 01:04:40.320 --> 01:04:40.480 Yep. 01:04:40.639 --> 01:04:42.880 So that you can succeed more as well. 01:04:42.960 --> 01:04:45.119 Like it's lifting and lifting totally everything. 01:04:45.519 --> 01:04:46.960 Oh, consulting. 01:04:47.119 --> 01:04:48.079 I was like, you know what? 01:04:48.159 --> 01:04:49.519 That actually makes a lot of sense. 01:04:49.599 --> 01:05:00.159 And I feel like I could be more impactful doing it that way because people can sit down with me one-on-one and really unpack their why. 01:05:00.320 --> 01:05:00.639 Yeah. 01:05:00.880 --> 01:05:03.039 The why behind what they're doing. 01:05:03.440 --> 01:05:04.880 Because that's how I'm making the connections. 01:05:04.960 --> 01:05:08.719 Because I'm like, your mindset matches with XYZ. 01:05:08.960 --> 01:05:17.679 What you're doing and who you are would connect really well, would thrive really well over here. 01:05:17.920 --> 01:05:21.599 And so it's scary because a consultant. 01:05:21.679 --> 01:05:22.000 Yeah. 01:05:22.159 --> 01:05:23.519 That's like, that's my job. 01:05:23.679 --> 01:05:24.719 Yeah, like

that's a little much. 01:05:26.880 --> 01:05:27.920 We were so similar. 01:05:28.239 --> 01:05:29.119 It's so funny. 01:05:29.280 --> 01:05:30.000 It is so funny. 01:05:30.159 --> 01:05:34.719 I'm like the other night I did this event and I'm like, oh, I felt like such a businesswoman. 01:05:34.800 --> 01:05:37.199 And my friend's like, but you literally are a businesswoman. 01:05:37.440 --> 01:05:37.599 Yep. 01:05:37.679 --> 01:05:39.920 I'm like, yeah, but I've been like a business woman. 01:05:40.320 --> 01:05:41.199 I like, but you are. 01:05:42.159 --> 01:05:42.480 You are. 01:05:42.639 --> 01:05:43.840 You've been a business woman. 01:05:44.079 --> 01:05:44.800 I do the same thing. 01:05:45.199 --> 01:05:48.800 Like, yeah, when I have my own space, what are you talking about? 01:05:49.199 --> 01:05:51.119 But it's not even like imposter syndrome. 01:05:51.679 --> 01:05:55.119 Like I'm doing I'm doing the things and I believe in myself and my ability to do the things. 01:05:55.280 --> 01:05:59.760 I think it's like growing up, I always thought of adults as like a different. 01:06:00.159 --> 01:06:02.880 Different species, and now that I'm an adult, I'm like, mm-mm. 01:06:03.280 --> 01:06:05.599 You're the same person, just in an older body. 01:06:05.840 --> 01:06:11.440 Because I mean, I think even with our clothes a little bit, because I wear pretty cool clothes most of the time. 01:06:11.599 --> 01:06:14.239 But I think people think I'm younger because of my outfit. 01:06:14.400 --> 01:06:18.800 Yes, because we don't I did used to think like once I get to a certain age, I'm gonna cut my hair short. 01:06:18.880 --> 01:06:22.559 I'm gonna have to start wearing blazers and like suits and like dressing like an adult. 01:06:23.199 --> 01:06:24.480 Yeah, that was me last year. 01:06:24.639 --> 01:06:28.000 I'm literally like, girl, you can't wear sweatpants every single day. 01:06:28.239 --> 01:06:29.119 I'm like, but they're cute. 01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:33.679 Or I have like jumpsuits, tracksuits that are hundreds of dollars. 01:06:33.840 --> 01:06:35.760 So it's like, this is a nice jumpsuit. 01:06:35.920 --> 01:06:37.199 And and yes, you can. 01:06:37.360 --> 01:06:37.599 Okay. 01:06:37.760 --> 01:06:37.920 Yeah. 01:06:38.159 --> 01:06:38.880 And yes, you can. 01:06:39.199 --> 01:06:42.159 But then I can, but then I'm also like in this building. 01:06:42.320 --> 01:06:43.920 So I want people to take me seriously. 01:06:44.079 --> 01:06:50.000 And I noticed a since I think it's also a little bit for myself because I understand Socho. 01:06:50.239 --> 01:06:51.679 I don't need I don't feel like I need makeup. 01:06:51.760 --> 01:06:52.880 I don't need to do my hair. 01:06:52.960 --> 01:06:55.840 I don't like I don't really need to get ready. 01:06:56.159 --> 01:06:58.400 I'll brush my teeth, wash my face, and call it a day. 01:06:58.639 --> 01:07:01.599 And so I think there's a part of me where it's like, you can do something. 01:07:01.840 -->

01:07:02.320 Could do it. 01:07:02.639 --> 01:07:11.840 And I will say that that probably comes from we don't have the energy to feel a desire to do because I've girl, I was a makeup queen back in college. 01:07:12.079 --> 01:07:13.199 Loved makeup, loved makeup. 01:07:13.280 --> 01:07:15.039 I straightened my hair was so long. 01:07:15.119 --> 01:07:17.519 It was like this long, and I would straighten it all the time. 01:07:17.760 --> 01:07:19.039 I was constantly shopping. 01:07:19.119 --> 01:07:20.719 I was such a little fashionista. 01:07:21.039 --> 01:07:26.400 But then once I started running my own business, all right, give me a t-shirt, give me shorts, I gotta go, I gotta do this. 01:07:26.480 --> 01:07:28.480 I got I'm getting paint on everything. 01:07:28.719 --> 01:07:29.679 Wax on everything. 01:07:30.000 --> 01:07:30.159 Everything. 01:07:30.480 --> 01:07:31.280 Like I'm not. 01:07:31.440 --> 01:07:34.800 And then like the the makeup for me, it was a skin. 01:07:34.960 --> 01:07:36.000 I wanted healthier skin. 01:07:36.559 --> 01:07:38.719 And I wanted to love my face. 01:07:38.800 --> 01:07:39.199 Yep. 01:07:39.519 --> 01:07:41.840 Because I did not love my face. 01:07:42.159 --> 01:07:46.079 I felt ugly and uncomfortable without any makeup on. 01:07:46.480 --> 01:07:48.159 And I was like, this is not good. 01:07:48.320 --> 01:07:49.119 This is not normal. 01:07:49.519 --> 01:07:50.159 So many people. 01:07:50.320 --> 01:07:52.320 So I that was an intentional thing. 01:07:52.480 --> 01:07:54.719 And I'll put on a little bit, you know, for events. 01:07:54.800 --> 01:07:58.400 And if I'm going out and stuff, like I'm not like, oh, I'm a no makeup girly through and through. 01:07:58.639 --> 01:07:59.280 You don't even own it. 01:07:59.360 --> 01:07:59.840 I don't own it. 01:08:00.000 --> 01:08:00.239 Do you know? 01:08:00.400 --> 01:08:05.920 So you like literally when you're going to like a fancy, you just you're like uh Alicia Keys. 01:08:06.480 --> 01:08:07.599 Don't wear makeup anymore. 01:08:07.679 --> 01:08:09.440 I've noticed, but she did just come with makeup on. 01:08:09.840 --> 01:08:10.719 Okay, make it make sense. 01:08:11.599 --> 01:08:17.359 Yeah, I don't own it, but it's also a part of it, a part of it went into the toxicity of it. 01:08:17.439 --> 01:08:17.600 Yeah. 01:08:17.760 --> 01:08:22.640 And then part of it went into, I heard a lot of women say they don't feel comfortable going in public without makeup on. 01:08:23.600 --> 01:08:25.680 And I don't know why that's a thing. 01:08:25.840 --> 01:08:26.560 Like that's sad. 01:08:26.800 --> 01:08:28.079 And that's society. 01:08:28.399 --> 01:08:29.279 That's the body image thing. 01:08:29.760 --> 01:08:30.079 100%. 01:08:30.399 --> 01:08:36.079 Because also these women that we're referring to, we have to point out that most of them are young millennials enough. 01:08:36.159 --> 01:08:36.399 Yep. 01:08:36.479 --> 01:08:36.800 Yep. 01:08:36.960 --> 01:08:40.399 Some cuss gen Z ears, but not so much. 01:08:40.560 --> 01:08:40.800 Nope. 01:08:41.039 --> 01:08:43.039 Because from that point, there was a shift. 01:08:43.199 --> 01:08:43.359 Yep. 01:08:43.520 --> 01:08:44.319 There was a shift. 01:08:44.399 --> 01:08:47.600 And these things weren't pushed on them the way they were on us. 01:08:47.760 --> 01:08:48.079 Yep. 01:08:48.399 --> 01:08:51.439 Significantly less um, what's the word? 01:08:51.600 --> 01:08:52.720 Subliminal messaging. 01:08:53.760 --> 01:08:54.560 Everything. 01:08:54.800 --> 01:08:55.680 Everything. 01:08:55.840 --> 01:09:03.920 If you look back at the like the kids' shows we were watching, the girl characters were like, oh, I can't have another slice of pie. 01:09:04.560 --> 01:09:08.560 And like, oh no, my butt, the buttons on my dresser popping. 01:09:08.720 --> 01:09:09.680 I gotta go lose weight. 01:09:09.840 --> 01:09:11.920 It's it's a I watched this is a really random show. 01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:13.359 I watched Material Girls the other day. 01:09:13.520 --> 01:09:13.840 Oh yeah. 01:09:14.000 --> 01:09:14.720 You know what I'm talking about? 01:09:14.880 --> 01:09:15.039 Yeah. 01:09:15.600 --> 01:09:16.159 So toxic. 01:09:16.239 --> 01:09:16.720 Oh my gosh. 01:09:17.039 --> 01:09:21.680 The whole thing, it's actually hilarious because Hillary Duff's character is all natural. 01:09:21.760 --> 01:09:28.399 She's like, she's like, we don't want toxins than our makeup, and dad did this for the skincare and natural and science and da-da-da-da-da. 01:09:28.640 --> 01:09:38.239 And then Haley Duff's character is like, I'm gonna smoke a cigarette, I'm gonna take laxatives, I don't give a fuck about naturalness, I can't believe you ate that. 01:09:38.399 --> 01:09:40.079 Like, you better chill out, Hillary. 01:09:40.239 --> 01:09:41.840 And it's shown us Hillary's the weird one. 01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:42.399 Mm-hmm. 01:09:42.560 --> 01:09:43.039 Mm-hmm. 01:09:43.199 --> 01:09:43.600 Mm-hmm. 01:09:43.840 --> 01:09:45.680 Cause that I mean, that's what it was. 01:09:45.920 --> 01:09:46.239 It is. 01:09:46.399 --> 01:09:46.800 It was. 01:09:46.960 --> 01:09:47.760 It still is a lot. 01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:48.720 It still is a lot. 01:09:48.880 --> 01:09:50.319 There is, like you said, there's a shift. 01:09:50.479 --> 01:09:53.439 I mean, we are mom, our age group is moms now. 01:09:53.520 --> 01:09:58.319 We, our age group is teaching the children that are younger to be better in most aspects. 01:09:58.479 --> 01:10:00.319 But I also think it goes into where you were raised. 01:10:00.399 --> 01:10:06.960 Because like in the Midwest, when I go home to Michigan, in my family, I do see my niece paint playing with makeup every single day. 01:10:07.119 --> 01:10:11.359 I do see her and hear her say things that just sound fucking crazy. 01:10:11.520 --> 01:10:14.239 And I'm like, can't wait to ship you out to North Carolina with me. 01:10:14.720 --> 01:10:16.239 But it's it's where we're raised.

01:10:16.479 --> 01:10:16.640 Yeah. 01:10:16.800 --> 01:10:17.840 It's a lot of it's a lot of that. 01:10:18.000 --> 01:10:18.319 Culture. 01:10:18.479 --> 01:10:18.720 So sure. 01:10:19.520 --> 01:10:27.760 And then I mean also this whole like, I will, my sis, oh my god, my niece and I FaceTime, and she will grab a lotion and she'll be like, You want to see my lotion? 01:10:28.399 --> 01:10:29.039 Seven years old. 01:10:29.279 --> 01:10:38.560 No, and the kids are obsessed with skincare because I was a art director for a summer camp last summer, and these kids are like, Oh, my jewel elephant, white elephant. 01:10:38.640 --> 01:10:42.000 I don't know what the brands are, but they're like, they're like, oh, I got this and I got this. 01:10:42.079 --> 01:10:53.920 And I had to do a lesson in art class about capitalism and the fact that they're telling you you need it because they want you to buy it. 01:10:54.000 --> 01:10:54.319 Yes. 01:10:54.479 --> 01:10:59.760 And all the other like semi-adult counselors are like, seriously, girls, I use three products. 01:10:59.840 --> 01:11:04.159 And I'm like, I use a cleanser, a toner, and a lotion. 01:11:04.479 --> 01:11:06.880 And look, so nice, so pretty, so fresh. 01:11:06.960 --> 01:11:07.680 Drink water. 01:11:08.079 --> 01:11:12.399 And they're like, oh, but I thought that you needed this one and this one. 01:11:12.479 --> 01:11:14.560 And I'm like, you don't need anything. 01:11:14.800 --> 01:11:16.479 You don't you need sunscreen and water. 01:11:17.039 --> 01:11:18.399 Like, stop it. 01:11:18.640 --> 01:11:20.079 Yes, but it's it's marketing. 01:11:20.159 --> 01:11:21.279 It's all down to marketing. 01:11:21.600 --> 01:11:22.159 This is random. 01:11:22.239 --> 01:11:27.680 But I've been watching Good Morning America every day for the last couple months, yes, because there's so much news on there that I need to figure out. 01:11:27.920 --> 01:11:30.319 But they talk about all the fucking weird ass shit in the world. 01:11:30.479 --> 01:11:33.119 And one of them is they're making skincare for children. 01:11:33.279 --> 01:11:35.359 For kids marketed for children. 01:11:35.760 --> 01:11:36.319 Actual lines. 01:11:36.479 --> 01:11:40.720 That's why I like Good Morning America, because low-key, they talk about the crazy shit that's happening in the world. 01:11:40.880 --> 01:11:41.199 I didn't know that. 01:11:41.520 --> 01:11:42.000 It's like real. 01:11:42.479 --> 01:11:43.279 I've never watched it before. 01:11:43.520 --> 01:11:45.199 Oh, I watched it growing up because of my babysitter. 01:11:45.600 --> 01:11:48.880 And then I was like, you should probably know a little bit about what's going on in the world. 01:11:49.279 --> 01:11:50.800 So knowing about what's going on. 01:11:51.039 --> 01:11:52.239 Yeah, but I mean I'm almost 30. 01:11:52.319 --> 01:11:52.880 I should know something. 01:11:53.039 --> 01:11:53.680 I'm 31. 01:11:53.840 --> 01:11:55.840 I didn't want if I this is crazy. 01:11:56.079 --> 01:11:59.520 If I didn't watch Good Morning America, I wouldn't know that there's World War III happening. 01:11:59.680 --> 01:12:01.600 Okay, so yeah, you need to know the basic. 01:12:01.920 --> 01:12:02.560 Yes, that's what I'm saying. 01:12:02.720 --> 01:12:03.279 You need to know the basics. 01:12:03.359 --> 01:12:04.239 Because that's not my social media. 01:12:04.319 --> 01:12:06.079 I'm not on social media looking like that. 01:12:06.720 --> 01:12:08.159 I'm not on YouTube looking like that. 01:12:08.319 --> 01:12:11.439 I'm I go to Good Morning America and then I'm like, did you hear what the process is? 01:12:11.680 --> 01:12:25.920 I follow like three, my three, because like especially being Jewish, like I follow my there's like a so informed page, and then there's like a Jewish for justice or Jews for peace page, and then um like one more, but they're not news pages. 01:12:26.000 --> 01:12:26.399 Yes. 01:12:26.560 --> 01:12:28.960 They're informed, stay informed page. 01:12:29.039 --> 01:12:32.239 Yeah, but even following like those three, it can get very I don't follow anything. 01:12:32.479 --> 01:12:33.359 It can get too much. 01:12:33.600 --> 01:12:34.640 I follow this one page. 01:12:34.720 --> 01:12:37.920 It's a girls, it's no what's going on in the world for women, I think. 01:12:38.079 --> 01:12:40.319 And so it's all women related things. 01:12:40.640 --> 01:12:41.359 And I'm at that. 01:12:41.439 --> 01:12:41.600 Yeah. 01:12:42.000 --> 01:12:45.920 What boundaries have you set that have changed everything for you in your mindset? 01:12:46.239 --> 01:12:47.840 That's a big one for me this year. 01:12:48.000 --> 01:12:48.239 Yeah. 01:12:48.399 --> 01:12:48.880 Oh yeah. 01:12:49.039 --> 01:13:00.720 This year has been a year of boundaries because I spent so much of my life as a people pleaser, and and setting boundaries makes me really uncomfortable. 01:13:00.960 --> 01:13:02.399 But this year, I'm done. 01:13:02.560 --> 01:13:02.800 Yes. 01:13:03.359 --> 01:13:04.560 She took the mask off. 01:13:04.880 --> 01:13:05.920 Oh my god. 01:13:06.159 --> 01:13:16.560 Because let me tell you, in 2026, I have had not one, not two, but three full grown men scream in my face. 01:13:16.960 --> 01:13:19.359 Come this close to me and scream in my face. 01:13:19.680 --> 01:13:20.319 For what? 01:13:21.279 --> 01:13:25.039 In a professional setting, in a non-professional setting, both settings. 01:13:25.279 --> 01:13:28.319 All I have to say is it doesn't matter for what? 01:13:28.479 --> 01:13:32.560 Because at the end of the day, you do not speak to anyone like that. 01:13:32.800 --> 01:13:44.560 And let alone a young woman, when you are a middle and above-aged man, like you, sir, need to take several seats. 01:13:44.800 --> 01:13:49.359 And my boundary has been I don't do it, I will not interact. 01:13:49.520 --> 01:13:53.520 If you start at me like that, I straight up I say, do not yell at me. 01:13:53.680 -->

01:13:56.720 Nobody speaks to me like that, and I am not interacting with you. 01:13:56.880 --> 01:14:01.840 And I have walked away and been followed by these screaming men continuing to scream. 01:14:02.000 --> 01:14:04.720 And I just turn around and I say, You get away from me. 01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:06.399 I am not speaking to you. 01:14:06.640 --> 01:14:07.039 Good for you. 01:14:07.199 --> 01:14:07.600 That's crazy. 01:14:07.680 --> 01:14:10.479 This is why I can't work around men because if that happened to me, I'm probably punching him. 01:14:10.720 --> 01:14:12.560 Oh my god, get the fuck out of my face. 01:14:12.640 --> 01:14:18.079 I work with no, like I can't, I don't even have conversations with men other than my man, my dad, and his dad. 01:14:18.239 --> 01:14:18.479 Yeah. 01:14:18.640 --> 01:14:20.720 Like I forget that women have to talk to men. 01:14:21.119 --> 01:14:21.840 It sounds stupid. 01:14:21.920 --> 01:14:25.119 It really does sound stupid, but no, but it's it's also, and I know. 01:14:25.359 --> 01:14:26.319 Oh, not all men. 01:14:26.560 --> 01:14:26.800 Okay. 01:14:26.960 --> 01:14:31.840 If we even have to say that though, fuck listen, I've had some beautiful men in my life, okay? 01:14:32.239 --> 01:14:35.439 And I fully recognize and I love the good men. 01:14:35.680 --> 01:14:37.199 And it's the same thing with women. 01:14:37.359 --> 01:14:38.399 I love the good women. 01:14:38.479 --> 01:14:39.760 There are some who are shit. 01:14:39.840 --> 01:14:40.560 It's it's people. 01:14:40.960 --> 01:14:42.479 It's people, it's not genders. 01:14:42.720 --> 01:14:45.680 But I haven't had any women scream in my face. 01:14:45.840 --> 01:14:47.119 So I can't believe that's happened. 01:14:47.199 --> 01:14:49.039 It's the third month of the year, and you've had three men do this. 01:14:49.199 --> 01:14:50.560 Last week I had one do it. 01:14:51.039 --> 01:14:52.000 These are job settings. 01:14:52.159 --> 01:14:53.119 This is a job setting. 01:14:53.279 --> 01:15:08.479 And I'm like, also, what does that say about you if you are comfortable screaming in a woman's face in public, a woman who you don't really know, you know in a professional setting, I'm so concerned for the women in your life behind closed doors. 01:15:08.800 --> 01:15:12.239 You, sir, are a concerning human. 01:15:12.880 --> 01:15:15.760 Well, I have I'll see them again on Saturday. 01:15:15.920 --> 01:15:18.960 Um, but it's a it's a setting where I'm in charge. 01:15:19.600 --> 01:15:20.720 I'm in charge. 01:15:20.880 --> 01:15:21.199 I know. 01:15:21.600 --> 01:15:22.159 That's the problem. 01:15:22.319 --> 01:15:22.880 Yeah, it is. 01:15:23.039 --> 01:15:23.439 It is. 01:15:23.600 --> 01:15:25.840 And I think that's part of my boundaries. 01:15:26.000 --> 01:15:36.640 It's like I'm setting this boundary of you may be older than me, you may be richer than me, you may be a man. 01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:44.399 I do not see you as my authority, as better than me, as smarter than me. 01:15:44.720 --> 01:15:47.600 You do not automatically get my respect. 01:15:47.760 --> 01:15:48.079 No. 01:15:48.720 --> 01:15:58.720 And these a lot of people in that generation, and that's something I've been learning, is that they they want everyone younger than them to just respect them. 01:15:58.800 --> 01:16:01.279 And when they say respect, they mean submit. 01:16:01.439 --> 01:16:01.680 Yep. 01:16:01.840 --> 01:16:08.800 They mean let me behave how I want to behave, and you are just gonna take it and you're gonna just listen. 01:16:09.680 --> 01:16:10.880 And I'm not doing it. 01:16:11.039 --> 01:16:11.439 Oh no. 01:16:11.600 --> 01:16:11.760 Good. 01:16:11.920 --> 01:16:16.479 And I hope nobody should say nobody should you and you and you can hit them all. 01:16:16.640 --> 01:16:17.119 No, nobody should. 01:16:17.279 --> 01:16:17.680 No sure. 01:16:17.920 --> 01:16:26.800 That's something I actually had an issue with coming here to the south specifically because I was raised like, yes, respect your elders, but I was also raised, don't get disrespected, and respect who spec respects you. 01:16:26.960 --> 01:16:27.119 Yeah. 01:16:27.359 --> 01:16:28.159 At a very young age. 01:16:28.239 --> 01:16:30.479 I remember being in elemental and hearing my dad say that. 01:16:30.720 --> 01:16:36.880 And coming to the south, it very much is you will respect me because I am older than you. 01:16:37.119 --> 01:16:37.439 Absolutely. 01:16:37.680 --> 01:16:38.159 You will respect. 01:16:38.399 --> 01:16:39.439 And I just couldn't get down with it. 01:16:39.600 --> 01:16:45.520 And I think that's why I had a lot of issues a little bit with communication with people, whether it was a girl or a guy, in in my first couple years here. 01:16:45.840 --> 01:16:47.199 Because like, I don't care. 01:16:47.359 --> 01:16:47.600 Yeah. 01:16:47.840 --> 01:16:48.560 Don't disrespect me. 01:16:48.880 --> 01:16:51.760 People used to tell me, like, when I first, because I'm New York, Rhode Island. 01:16:51.840 --> 01:16:55.199 So when I first came here, people were like, literally, like, you're so aggressive. 01:16:55.439 --> 01:16:56.319 All the time. 01:16:56.479 --> 01:16:57.359 I'm so aggressive. 01:16:57.520 --> 01:17:00.239 I got it a lot and I was managing up salon. 01:17:00.479 --> 01:17:05.039 I get talked to a lot, and it was you are aggressive all the time. 01:17:05.359 --> 01:17:06.159 Isn't that funny? 01:17:06.479 --> 01:17:06.880 Crazy. 01:17:07.039 --> 01:17:08.560 Because we're not aggressive people. 01:17:08.800 --> 01:17:11.760 Uh don't like we just are maybe a little loud. 01:17:11.920 --> 01:17:20.560 But then again, if you and and I've heard this a lot from the other people in this setting when they see me handle a situation, because this is how I am all the time. 01:17:21.119 --> 01:17:22.880 Seven in the morning, this is how I am. 01:17:23.119 --> 01:17:29.359 But if at 7:30 in the morning someone tries me, I put on my

serious face. 01:17:29.600 --> 01:17:30.000 Of course. 01:17:30.159 --> 01:17:35.920 And people are like, whoa, Sarah, I didn't even know you could like, I didn't even know you could make that face. 01:17:36.000 --> 01:17:43.119 Or I didn't even, I didn't even know you like one time some guy drove into the area and like drove over an orange traffic cone. 01:17:43.279 --> 01:17:48.159 And and I like stopped his car, and I was like, gee, I was like, you see what you did there? 01:17:48.319 --> 01:17:49.840 And he's like, I didn't mean to. 01:17:49.920 --> 01:17:50.560 It doesn't matter. 01:17:50.640 --> 01:17:51.119 Why do you care? 01:17:51.199 --> 01:17:55.439 And I was like, that is someone else's property that you disrespected, and you are on their pro. 01:17:55.760 --> 01:18:00.239 I was like, and I turn around and they're all like, who is she? 01:18:00.399 --> 01:18:03.359 And I'm like, someone you don't want to see. 01:18:03.600 --> 01:18:03.840 Yes. 01:18:04.079 --> 01:18:05.359 That is that's it what it is. 01:18:05.439 --> 01:18:07.119 It's like, don't let me get to this point. 01:18:07.199 --> 01:18:07.920 You will see it. 01:18:08.079 --> 01:18:08.640 Oh my gosh. 01:18:08.720 --> 01:18:10.079 I this happens a lot, actually. 01:18:10.159 --> 01:18:11.439 People will be like, you just yelled at me. 01:18:11.520 --> 01:18:13.359 And I'm like, you haven't seen me yell. 01:18:13.600 --> 01:18:15.039 You have never seen me mad. 01:18:15.279 --> 01:18:16.319 I used to be mad. 01:18:16.479 --> 01:18:16.720 Yeah. 01:18:16.960 --> 01:18:17.439 Oh yeah. 01:18:17.680 --> 01:18:18.399 You don't see that. 01:18:19.600 --> 01:18:20.319 But now I can control it. 01:18:20.560 --> 01:18:20.960 Exactly. 01:18:21.119 --> 01:18:23.119 So you're lucky you get this aggressive? 01:18:23.279 --> 01:18:24.640 Girl, you should have seen me years ago. 01:18:24.800 --> 01:18:25.279 That's funny. 01:18:25.359 --> 01:18:26.159 Yeah, no, I get it. 01:18:26.239 --> 01:18:26.560 I get it. 01:18:26.880 --> 01:18:27.520 That's so crazy. 01:18:27.600 --> 01:18:30.239 I'm seeing if I want to just ask anything else before we get into our game. 01:18:30.479 --> 01:18:30.960 A game. 01:18:31.039 --> 01:18:32.079 Yeah, I play him at a game. 01:18:32.239 --> 01:18:33.199 Ooh, this is a good one. 01:18:33.439 --> 01:18:37.279 If someone feels uncomfortable when they see your art, what is that? 01:18:37.439 --> 01:18:38.399 What does that reveal? 01:18:38.560 --> 01:18:39.359 That's a good one. 01:18:39.600 --> 01:18:40.159 That is a good one. 01:18:40.399 --> 01:18:44.560 Because I've had a lot, especially being in the South, had a lot of that. 01:18:44.800 --> 01:18:46.640 Um, what you said, what does that reveal? 01:18:46.800 --> 01:18:48.239 Yeah, like what does that reveal about them? 01:18:49.600 --> 01:18:51.199 It makes it makes me sad. 01:18:51.439 --> 01:18:52.239 Oh, for sure. 01:18:52.399 --> 01:18:53.199 It makes me sad. 01:18:53.279 --> 01:18:54.720 Like, do I feel offended? 01:18:54.880 --> 01:18:55.119 No. 01:18:55.359 --> 01:18:56.319 I feel sad. 01:18:56.479 --> 01:18:58.640 Sometimes I feel angry if you're rude. 01:18:58.880 --> 01:18:59.439 Of course. 01:18:59.680 --> 01:19:04.000 But I feel sad because I'm like, it's usually people who are much older than me. 01:19:04.399 --> 01:19:12.880 And so it makes me realize you've spent so many years in such a negative space with such an unhealthy relationship to your body. 01:19:12.960 --> 01:19:21.039 Because I know if you're uncomfortable seeing a line art drawing of boobs, you can't look in the mirror at your naked body happily. 01:19:21.680 --> 01:19:22.800 And I hate that for you. 01:19:22.960 --> 01:19:24.399 I see that when I wear earrings. 01:19:24.560 --> 01:19:24.720 Yeah. 01:19:24.960 --> 01:19:25.520 I wear them a lot. 01:19:25.600 --> 01:19:28.479 I almost any event I go to, like that's what I'm wearing. 01:19:28.720 --> 01:19:32.720 And it is funny to see people's faces or hear people's comments. 01:19:32.880 --> 01:19:34.239 And I don't think anything of it, honestly. 01:19:34.560 --> 01:19:38.239 And in my photos, I did, I wore them for my um brand shoe. 01:19:38.319 --> 01:19:38.399 Oh. 01:19:38.960 --> 01:19:42.239 And I accidentally ended up wearing them in all my shoot because I just forgot they were in. 01:19:42.880 --> 01:19:49.840 Um, but I was it was just funny because I think somebody made a comment about my earrings, and I was like, I didn't I didn't even notice that. 01:19:50.239 --> 01:19:52.960 Like they're ever I wear them all the time. 01:19:53.359 --> 01:19:59.680 It's I think it showcases the two different ex existences you can have as a human. 01:19:59.760 --> 01:19:59.920 Yeah. 01:20:00.079 --> 01:20:01.680 And you get to decide which one. 01:20:01.840 --> 01:20:06.800 Do you want to be the one where you're uncomfortable and you're anxious and you're judging yourself and others? 01:20:06.960 --> 01:20:12.079 Or do you want to be the one where everything is cool and exciting and beautiful and why not? 01:20:12.319 --> 01:20:12.640 Yes. 01:20:12.800 --> 01:20:13.119 You know? 01:20:13.279 --> 01:20:13.680 Yes. 01:20:13.920 --> 01:20:17.439 And you get to pick that and you get to mold that for yourself. 01:20:18.000 --> 01:20:20.479 Yeah, that goes right into like creating the life that you want. 01:20:20.640 --> 01:20:20.800 Yeah. 01:20:20.960 --> 01:20:22.720 Do you want to be sad or do you want to be happy? 01:20:22.880 --> 01:20:23.039 Right. 01:20:23.279 --> 01:20:23.920 Because you make the decision. 01:20:24.239 --> 01:20:24.560 You do. 01:20:25.119 --> 01:20:26.560 Yeah, that's a very good point. 01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:28.000 Very, very good point. 01:20:28.640 --> 01:20:29.279 Alrighty. 01:20:29.439 --> 01:20:32.239 So the game I made for you is called Name the Feeling. 01:20:32.319 --> 01:20:35.600 So I'm gonna say something, and then you're just gonna tell me how that makes you feel. 01:20:36.319 --> 01:20:39.840 So

finishing a piece you're proud of, but not wanting to let it go. 01:20:40.239 --> 01:20:41.760 That happens to me a lot. 01:20:42.079 --> 01:20:50.079 I have a wall in my den of pieces that like the first one of a new style, and I keep the first one. 01:20:50.239 --> 01:20:50.640 Oh, cool. 01:20:50.880 --> 01:20:55.920 So I have like a little mini museum kind of of like all the firsts that I can't part with. 01:20:56.159 --> 01:21:06.239 I think that I don't know if there's a word for it, but the way that would makes me feel is like I'm face to face with a little piece of my puzzle. 01:21:06.800 --> 01:21:07.760 Like you know? 01:21:07.920 --> 01:21:08.079 Yeah. 01:21:08.399 --> 01:21:12.079 Because those pieces when I finish it and I'm like, there's no amount of money. 01:21:12.319 --> 01:21:13.680 There's no amount of money. 01:21:13.840 --> 01:21:16.720 That's a part of you that somehow got came out. 01:21:16.880 --> 01:21:17.920 Yeah, that's so good. 01:21:18.159 --> 01:21:20.800 Posting your art and hearing nothing back about it. 01:21:21.039 --> 01:21:21.600 I don't care. 01:21:21.680 --> 01:21:22.479 I didn't think you would. 01:21:22.720 --> 01:21:23.359 Yeah, I don't care. 01:21:23.439 --> 01:21:28.319 I do that because you know, a lot of the time you're like, oh, you have to post at certain times so that a lot of people see it. 01:21:28.479 --> 01:21:29.039 I hate it. 01:21:29.279 --> 01:21:32.000 I'm like, okay, I want to see it on my page. 01:21:32.399 --> 01:21:35.199 Totally post and never look at it again until I want to look at it. 01:21:35.520 --> 01:21:37.359 And then I look at it and it makes me happy. 01:21:38.000 --> 01:21:38.239 Yeah. 01:21:38.399 --> 01:21:38.800 I love it. 01:21:38.960 --> 01:21:39.119 Yeah. 01:21:39.279 --> 01:21:42.000 It sounds like we're both kind of our Instagrams are really for ourselves. 01:21:42.239 --> 01:21:43.439 Our posts are really for ourselves. 01:21:43.680 --> 01:21:47.279 And for however it can help us with make meeting the right people. 01:21:47.439 --> 01:21:48.000 A hundred percent. 01:21:48.159 --> 01:21:48.720 That's what it is. 01:21:49.119 --> 01:21:51.359 Someone looking at your work and saying, I feel seen. 01:21:51.520 --> 01:21:52.159 That's everything. 01:21:52.479 --> 01:21:53.279 That's why I do it. 01:21:53.439 --> 01:21:54.560 Oh my god, so good. 01:21:54.800 --> 01:21:58.000 So growing a version of your creativity that wants to find you. 01:21:58.159 --> 01:21:58.880 Say that one again. 01:21:59.119 --> 01:22:03.359 So growing a version of your creativity that wants to find you. 01:22:03.680 --> 01:22:09.439 And it can be like even a part of your personality or a part of your life, or even like kind of the people-pleasing part. 01:22:09.600 --> 01:22:17.199 But okay, I think that for stemming from the people-pleasing aspect, creating to sell. 01:22:18.479 --> 01:22:30.880 Which I think a lot of people, when they get into the place of starting a business from their physical

passion, like I don't know what you would call like it's your passion, but it's something that you physically are creating. 01:22:31.439 --> 01:22:42.720 Um, there's this there's this point where you're like getting sales and getting that validation and seeing the potential for what you could build and like for your life to be fully self-sufficient. 01:22:44.000 --> 01:22:51.520 And you can get sucked into wanting to just do things that are going to reach the money masses. 01:22:52.159 --> 01:22:52.560 Yeah. 01:22:52.880 --> 01:22:56.720 And I was really fixated on that for a while. 01:22:57.039 --> 01:23:03.359 Um until I realized that A, the reason I want money so bad is just because I want stability and safety. 01:23:03.520 --> 01:23:05.760 Well, B, there's so much money in the world. 01:23:06.079 --> 01:23:06.960 It's kind of disgusting. 01:23:07.199 --> 01:23:07.760 It is disgusting. 01:23:09.279 --> 01:23:11.840 It's money's like it is, it's gross. 01:23:12.000 --> 01:23:28.319 Like everybody has a different relationship and uh experience with money and so those two coming together leading to you can make art and make money without just selling your physical pieces. 01:23:28.800 --> 01:23:50.880 And that was a big thing for me to learn because you can do workshops, you can do events, you can do pop-ups where you're selling experience-based instead of physical drawings like my living canvases, you know, or there's just like right now, I'm working on creating uh a book cover for someone who's self-publishing a book. 01:23:50.960 --> 01:23:51.199 Oh, wow. 01:23:51.359 --> 01:23:52.960 So I'm designing the cover for the book. 01:23:53.199 --> 01:23:59.119 And then another one, I'm designing a soccer jersey for an like an international organization. 01:23:59.359 --> 01:24:12.239 So these are bigger-based projects that are still in line with my passion of why I do things, but it's not just you need to sit down and make 60 drawings so you can sell these and that's your business. 01:24:12.800 --> 01:24:15.439 It can be whatever you want it to be. 01:24:15.520 --> 01:24:26.880 And so I think like shifting that mindset and not letting that be the driving force behind how I operate things is what like freed up my that's great. 01:24:27.359 --> 01:24:28.399 My everything, you know. 01:24:28.560 --> 01:24:29.600 That's good, that's great. 01:24:29.680 --> 01:24:31.600 Cause that's kind of going to like the niche. 01:24:31.680 --> 01:24:33.359 Every at one point everyone needed a niche. 01:24:34.159 --> 01:24:34.640 You need a niche. 01:24:34.960 --> 01:24:35.439 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:24:36.880 --> 01:24:37.039 Yeah. 01:24:37.279 --> 01:24:51.760 And even me, I five years ago, I was waxing and I was like, Well, I want to do nails and I want to talk about wellness products, and I want to figure out how to master skincare where I can educate people about it, but still be a holistic version of it. 01:24:52.079 --> 01:24:54.479 So many people told me I couldn't do it. 01:24:55.119 --> 01:24:58.319 So many people told me I need to niche down, and I fucking hate that one. 01:24:58.479 --> 01:24:58.720 Yeah. 01:24:58.960 --> 01:24:59.920 And now look at me. 01:25:00.079 --> 01:25:02.000 Yes, it is all in this space. 01:25:02.239 --> 01:25:04.720 And I had the exact same experience. 01:25:04.880 --> 01:25:09.600 I had someone tell me I needed to pick between the line art and the really colorful stuff. 01:25:09.840 --> 01:25:18.720 And I needed to pick one, and I needed to fully dedicate myself to not only that, but to going to traditional gallery settings with line art. 01:25:18.960 --> 01:25:33.199 And I was like, what you are asking me to do is put my soul in a box, is like cut part of myself completely away and just not feed it anymore solely so I can make money. 01:25:33.439 --> 01:25:34.479 No, it's gonna come. 01:25:34.640 --> 01:25:34.960 Yeah. 01:25:35.199 --> 01:25:36.319 The money will come. 01:25:36.479 --> 01:25:37.119 It always will. 01:25:37.279 --> 01:25:37.840 It always will. 01:25:37.920 --> 01:25:44.399 And even if like, I think about this a lot because I am always and we've had this conversation multiple times, but the money will come. 01:25:44.640 --> 01:25:49.760 But people that are want the money now, tiny about it, they get it, but they lose it. 01:25:49.920 --> 01:25:50.079 Yeah. 01:25:50.239 --> 01:25:52.319 They lose it and they don't know what that's not sustainable. 01:25:52.560 --> 01:25:57.600 I guess that was just the point to like everybody that wants money right now, just do what you want and it'll come. 01:25:57.760 --> 01:25:59.199 And also know why you want money. 01:25:59.359 --> 01:26:01.840 Yes, because like you said, and I like that you keep making that a point. 01:26:01.920 --> 01:26:03.520 Like, you don't want money to be rich and wealthy. 01:26:03.600 --> 01:26:05.680 You want money for freedom and stability. 01:26:05.760 --> 01:26:05.920 Yeah. 01:26:06.079 --> 01:26:06.319 Same. 01:26:06.399 --> 01:26:07.760 We're all, I want freedom. 01:26:07.920 --> 01:26:10.560 I want money so I can chill the fuck out and have those babies. 01:26:10.640 --> 01:26:13.520 I want money so I don't have to be waxing vaginas the rest of my life. 01:26:13.680 --> 01:26:14.640 Like, you know what I mean? 01:26:14.800 --> 01:26:18.479 Like, I want money to have freedom and just be able to do what I want. 01:26:18.800 --> 01:26:49.760 Bigger things I want to do with my life that I can't do without money and stability of like, I know all my bills are paid and I have extra money that I can then open up these little foundations or or like I really want to create centers for underprivileged kids to have access to art supplies and be encouraged to pursue art because they otherwise may have never given been given like an opportunity because life can be so difficult and so you know, you have to be focused on survival. 01:26:50.319 --> 01:26:53.359 There you're not going to buy paints

and paintbrushes. 01:26:53.520 --> 01:26:53.760 No. 01:26:54.000 --> 01:26:59.439 So I want to create spaces that can feed the artistic youth. 01:26:59.680 --> 01:27:00.079 I love it. 01:27:00.319 --> 01:27:00.960 The youths. 01:27:01.039 --> 01:27:05.439 We need to like not let them go through what we went through. 01:27:05.680 --> 01:27:05.920 Yeah. 01:27:06.079 --> 01:27:08.000 And I I need money, man, to do that. 01:27:08.319 --> 01:27:08.880 Well, I know. 01:27:08.960 --> 01:27:10.640 And these sponsorships are not easy. 01:27:10.800 --> 01:27:22.880 And also with investors and sponsorships and all that kind of stuff, you a lot of the time find yourself having to shift and change to meet a mold because you need their money. 01:27:22.960 --> 01:27:23.199 Yeah. 01:27:23.439 --> 01:27:34.800 So if I can grind it out for 10 years and get to a point where I'm making that money myself, and then I can just put it back into what I want to put it back into. 01:27:35.039 --> 01:27:39.840 And I don't have to have anyone telling me, well, it's my money that I'm giving you, and I want you to do it this way. 01:27:39.920 --> 01:27:40.239 Yeah. 01:27:41.199 --> 01:27:41.680 You can do it. 01:27:41.760 --> 01:27:42.159 You'll do it. 01:27:42.399 --> 01:27:44.319 Yeah, check back in five years. 01:27:44.560 --> 01:27:44.800 Hell yeah. 01:27:45.119 --> 01:27:46.640 We're on year, we're on year five now. 01:27:46.960 --> 01:27:47.199 Nice. 01:27:47.279 --> 01:27:48.000 So five years in. 01:27:48.159 --> 01:27:48.560 Five years in. 01:27:48.880 --> 01:27:49.359 That's exciting. 01:27:49.520 --> 01:27:49.600 Yeah. 01:27:49.840 --> 01:27:50.960 That's so exciting. 01:27:53.119 --> 01:27:53.359 All right. 01:27:53.600 --> 01:27:56.000 Creating something that feels a little too vulnerable to share. 01:27:56.239 --> 01:27:56.960 How does that make you feel? 01:27:57.119 --> 01:27:59.600 That makes me feel like I'm on the cusp of. 01:28:00.239 --> 01:28:01.119 Doing what I want to be doing. 01:28:01.520 --> 01:28:01.680 Yeah. 01:28:02.159 --> 01:28:06.560 Because like we talked about, it's the vulnerability that's holding me back with a lot of stuff. 01:28:07.840 --> 01:28:11.119 So getting past that mental hurdle is what I want. 01:28:11.279 --> 01:28:14.560 So when I create these things, it's kind of a optimism. 01:28:14.720 --> 01:28:14.960 Yeah. 01:28:15.119 --> 01:28:15.359 Yeah. 01:28:15.520 --> 01:28:15.760 Yeah. 01:28:15.840 --> 01:28:16.640 I like it. 01:28:17.520 --> 01:28:17.840 All right. 01:28:18.000 --> 01:28:18.399 Last one. 01:28:18.560 --> 01:28:21.439 Finally making money from something you once did just for yourself. 01:28:21.680 --> 01:28:22.560 How's that made you feel? 01:28:22.800 --> 01:28:23.199 Free. 01:28:23.359 --> 01:28:23.760 Yeah. 01:28:24.000 --> 01:28:29.840 And so funny that it makes me feel free because I'm so like not free time doesn't exist, you know? 01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:30.479 Yeah. 01:28:30.720 --> 01:28:38.319 And like the freedom to just decide things like I want to do or travel or whatever, I may not have that level of freedom. 01:28:38.640 --> 01:28:42.880 But my the core, that freedom, I have that more than a lot of people. 01:28:43.119 --> 01:28:44.560 I feel that so hard right now. 01:28:44.880 --> 01:28:49.520 I had someone in here the other day and she was complaining that she didn't get to go on vacation. 01:28:49.680 --> 01:28:55.920 And she has been on three vacations in the last year, but one of them was with a couple friend who had a baby. 01:28:56.079 --> 01:28:58.560 So it wasn't a vacation, even though she was sitting on the beach drinking. 01:28:59.039 --> 01:29:02.960 One of them was with her family, even though it was overseas on a beach drinking. 01:29:03.439 --> 01:29:05.520 And then the other one I'd I kind of slept the same. 01:29:06.000 --> 01:29:06.239 Sorry. 01:29:08.479 --> 01:29:13.680 I was like, well, my response after she got done bitching was you would hate my life. 01:29:13.840 --> 01:29:14.479 Yeah, right. 01:29:14.720 --> 01:29:20.399 Because and I think I said something similar, like I live this life every day, so I don't have to complain about my day-to-day. 01:29:20.880 --> 01:29:29.279 But you're always in here complaining about your day-to-day and that you have to take PTO or that you don't have enough PTO time to take vacations. 01:29:29.359 --> 01:29:30.319 But like, what is PTO? 01:29:31.039 --> 01:29:31.600 Oh my God. 01:29:31.680 --> 01:29:42.319 That is like one of my biggest anxieties is people who are in like the corporate world and have to ask permission and can be told no to doing things that are important in their lives. 01:29:42.800 --> 01:29:45.119 Like there's an event in another state, a wedding. 01:29:45.279 --> 01:29:46.960 I need to see if I can go. 01:29:47.119 --> 01:29:47.279 Yeah. 01:29:47.359 --> 01:29:48.800 And they if I'm allowed. 01:29:49.039 --> 01:29:49.600 That's crazy. 01:29:49.760 --> 01:29:52.800 And I remember like when I was working, it was like, oh, you're not gonna give it to me. 01:29:52.880 --> 01:29:53.439 Oh, fuck you. 01:29:53.520 --> 01:29:54.159 I'm still going. 01:29:54.239 --> 01:29:54.479 Right. 01:29:54.560 --> 01:29:57.039 Because don't you dare disrespect me when I do so much for you. 01:29:57.199 --> 01:29:57.439 Yeah. 01:29:57.600 --> 01:29:59.520 But that mindset is not for a lot of people. 01:29:59.680 --> 01:30:03.920 Well, my partners in restaurant industry, and like I that's a scary. 01:30:04.319 --> 01:30:08.479 I find this so admirable about him, admirable when that exact situation. 01:30:08.720 --> 01:30:11.279 He was told, you cannot have this time off. 01:30:11.439 --> 01:30:12.880 All this family was going. 01:30:12.960 --> 01:30:17.359 It was like a family reunion, and he asked for it early on, and he was told no, and he said, I'm going. 01:30:17.439 --> 01:30:18.239 And then he got fired. 01:30:18.399 --> 01:30:18.640 Yep. 01:30:18.800 --> 01:30:19.840 Well, who

cares? 01:30:20.079 --> 01:30:25.359 Because now, 10 years later, you remember that family trip and you got another job. 01:30:25.600 --> 01:30:25.840 Exactly. 01:30:26.000 --> 01:30:27.920 There were especially the restaurant industry. 01:30:28.000 --> 01:30:28.159 Yeah. 01:30:28.399 --> 01:30:29.439 There will be another job. 01:30:29.600 --> 01:30:31.279 I this happened to me in November. 01:30:31.359 --> 01:30:33.600 Me and my man went on, it was both our birthdays. 01:30:33.680 --> 01:30:40.399 We went to the mountains, and he, if he didn't come back a day early and go to work for two hours, he was gonna get fired. 01:30:40.560 --> 01:30:41.199 Two fucking hours. 01:30:41.439 --> 01:30:44.000 Like that's a weird control thing. 01:30:44.159 --> 01:30:44.319 Yeah. 01:30:44.479 --> 01:30:48.720 And if you what what it also blows me is that we have to give them two weeks' notice, but they can fire us tomorrow. 01:30:48.880 --> 01:30:49.119 Right. 01:30:49.279 --> 01:30:51.119 Well, I've never I just can't. 01:30:51.199 --> 01:30:53.199 Don't give me we're on the end, not the beginnings. 01:30:53.920 --> 01:30:54.479 I know, right? 01:30:54.640 --> 01:30:55.279 We'll just go on. 01:30:55.439 --> 01:30:55.680 I know. 01:30:55.840 --> 01:30:56.399 We really could. 01:30:56.640 --> 01:31:00.880 But something that I normally do talk to people, guests about specifically is their upbringing. 01:31:00.960 --> 01:31:02.399 We've had such a good conversation. 01:31:02.479 --> 01:31:03.600 I really haven't needed my notes. 01:31:03.680 --> 01:31:11.600 I've said it a couple times, but what I do want to talk to you about specifically is why are you or how did you get involved with the community so well? 01:31:11.760 --> 01:31:14.319 You're not from Durham, you're in the community. 01:31:14.479 --> 01:31:16.239 You thrive to be in the community. 01:31:16.399 --> 01:31:19.279 When I asked you a topic, what you want to talk about is the community. 01:31:19.439 --> 01:31:23.439 And I am the same way, and I'm trying to figure out how I can help my community more because I'm not from here either. 01:31:23.520 --> 01:31:26.640 So it's really me like diving in, like hey, being coached. 01:31:27.199 --> 01:31:28.720 Put me in where do I fit? 01:31:28.880 --> 01:31:30.640 So, how did you why is it so important to you? 01:31:30.720 --> 01:31:32.159 And like, how did you get involved with that? 01:31:32.399 --> 01:31:32.720 Yeah. 01:31:32.880 --> 01:31:40.079 So born in New York, raised in Rhode Island, did a year in DC, then I ended up in Chapel Hill at UNC. 01:31:41.039 --> 01:31:43.279 And I did three years there. 01:31:43.680 --> 01:31:48.399 And I finished college and I still felt like I didn't have my people. 01:31:48.640 --> 01:31:50.239 I never found my people. 01:31:50.399 --> 01:31:58.159 Like I have my four best friends who like, you know, from middle school, summer camp, whatever it might be, but I never had. 01:31:59.119 --> 01:32:07.199 Oh, there's a like

birthday gathering uh for this friend who's kind of your friend. 01:32:07.359 --> 01:32:07.600 Yeah. 01:32:07.760 --> 01:32:09.840 And you're invited because you're part of the community. 01:32:10.000 --> 01:32:10.880 I never had that. 01:32:11.119 --> 01:32:11.279 Yeah. 01:32:11.439 --> 01:32:12.319 Hey, pop by. 01:32:12.479 --> 01:32:15.279 Oh, hey, we're going to this person's house if you're around. 01:32:15.520 --> 01:32:19.680 And I always and I never even really had like friend groups. 01:32:20.000 --> 01:32:26.399 Like I just I had good connections, but I think a big part is like I was so detached from myself for so long. 01:32:26.560 --> 01:32:41.600 And so when I moved to Durham, that was when like I really came out of that darkness and like started to figure out that what fills me up is other people and like the right people for me. 01:32:42.000 --> 01:33:07.680 And so I I think finding the art community in Durham, especially like during the pandemic was the first experience I had of curating and building my community, my world, my people, not just you're you know each other because you're in the same classes, you know each other because you work at the same place, you know each other because you're families. 01:33:07.920 --> 01:33:09.279 Like, no, this is mine. 01:33:09.520 --> 01:33:09.840 Yeah. 01:33:10.079 --> 01:33:16.960 And that happiness that that brings me and the psychological relief. 01:33:17.119 --> 01:33:20.479 Like for so long I was just really unhappy. 01:33:20.560 --> 01:33:20.880 Yeah. 01:33:21.439 --> 01:33:29.279 And now I I know what it can do for you for someone, and so I want other people to have that too. 01:33:29.600 --> 01:33:36.479 So that's why it's like the community aspect, it's connection to people, but then it's helping everyone else find that also. 01:33:36.560 --> 01:33:36.880 Yeah. 01:33:37.119 --> 01:33:42.239 And I've been in so many dark spots and I had I have such abandonment issues. 01:33:42.399 --> 01:33:45.520 I never want people to feel alone in something. 01:33:46.159 --> 01:33:49.279 But I also recognize I can't carry everybody. 01:33:49.439 --> 01:33:49.760 Yeah. 01:33:49.920 --> 01:34:00.640 So if I work hard to create a community that is full of people that want to hold each other up, yeah, then I can do it not by myself, but I can still do it. 01:34:00.880 --> 01:34:01.680 That's such a good point. 01:34:01.920 --> 01:34:02.319 Because it is. 01:34:02.399 --> 01:34:07.119 It's like you want to help everybody and you wanna you can't help people that don't want help. 01:34:07.359 --> 01:34:07.600 Right. 01:34:07.760 --> 01:34:10.000 And so it is you have to find a community that wants to be there. 01:34:10.239 --> 01:34:15.520 Yeah, and you can't do it all on your own because then you can't like you can't fill someone else's cup if yours is empty. 01:34:16.800 --> 01:34:21.119 And like I am just a giver and an empath. 01:34:21.279 --> 01:34:22.640 And so I'm going to do that. 01:34:22.800 --> 01:34:23.119 Yeah. 01:34:23.279 --> 01:34:30.560 And I had I had to find a way to kind of combat it so that I can still be like existing and operating as a person. 01:34:30.720 --> 01:34:31.039 Yeah. 01:34:31.600 --> 01:34:33.039 So I'm still living my life. 01:34:33.279 --> 01:34:34.000 I'm breathing. 01:34:34.079 --> 01:34:34.239 Yeah. 01:34:35.760 --> 01:34:36.239 All right. 01:34:36.399 --> 01:34:40.079 Is there anything else you want to touch base on before we close out? 01:34:40.640 --> 01:34:42.159 You think if there's anything? 01:34:42.319 --> 01:34:46.000 Well, I guess kind of like a call to action for anyone who's listening. 01:34:46.239 --> 01:34:50.399 Um, I this year, I really want to do collaborations. 01:34:50.640 --> 01:34:51.920 I love collaborations. 01:34:52.159 --> 01:34:57.199 And a big thing that I'm really trying to branch out into more is my fashion. 01:34:57.840 --> 01:35:04.560 So thrifted clothes that I then hand paint, alter, purses, whatever, shoes, whatever it might be. 01:35:04.800 --> 01:35:13.199 And I feel like there's a lot there, a lot of potential there for a community-based, community-run, circular network. 01:35:13.439 --> 01:35:17.119 So you're either done with these clothes and you want to get rid of them. 01:35:17.279 --> 01:35:28.640 So we can have some kind of thing set up where if you donate X amount of pieces, then you get a custom piece painted or, you know, something to create more of that. 01:35:28.800 --> 01:35:33.920 And like we have so many great vintage and thrift stores, House of Rebellion and Sheet Thrifty. 01:35:34.000 --> 01:35:38.079 And we've got uh in Durham, there's um some new ones also. 01:35:38.159 --> 01:35:39.520 And I think Durham is great. 01:35:39.760 --> 01:35:40.239 Durham is great. 01:35:40.479 --> 01:35:41.680 I haven't been thrifting in Durham. 01:35:42.079 --> 01:35:46.479 Somebody sent me a list and there were so nearly new, uh, pennies for change. 01:35:46.560 --> 01:35:47.520 There's so many little ones. 01:35:47.760 --> 01:35:48.239 So many. 01:35:48.479 --> 01:35:56.079 And the thing is, though, is that like everyone donates their stuff to those places and then they don't have the room for everything. 01:35:56.239 --> 01:36:01.199 Like, if you've ever seen the back of rumors or Play-Doh's Closet, it's just mountains of stuff. 01:36:01.439 --> 01:36:06.640 Oh, how can we help them make more of an impact? 01:36:06.800 --> 01:36:08.640 So we don't just have these things sitting around. 01:36:09.039 --> 01:36:15.439 Well, if there's another option, like an upcycling program, and I know there's tons of artists around here who upcycle. 01:36:15.520 --> 01:36:19.840 So even if I put together like we have a whole team, and so we all have different styles. 01:36:20.000 --> 01:36:22.720 If you prefer one style, you work with that artist, you know? 01:36:22.960 --> 01:36:23.680 I love this idea. 01:36:23.840 --> 01:36:30.159 So yeah, if anybody listens to this and has any

like they want to expand on that or help me flush that, flush that out. 01:36:30.399 --> 01:36:30.880 I love it. 01:36:31.039 --> 01:36:31.520 Reach out. 01:36:31.600 --> 01:36:32.159 That's a good one. 01:36:32.319 --> 01:36:33.520 I already have someone in mind for you. 01:36:33.920 --> 01:36:35.760 Okay, so where can we find you? 01:36:35.920 --> 01:36:37.520 You it is about to be market season. 01:36:37.760 --> 01:36:42.000 So what markets are coming up for you, and also we'll give you your social again. 01:36:42.239 --> 01:36:42.560 Yeah. 01:36:42.720 --> 01:36:46.479 So I'm Art by SRG on all the platforms. 01:36:46.720 --> 01:36:48.319 RG is my fashion page. 01:36:48.800 --> 01:36:49.359 Make sure I follow that. 01:36:49.680 --> 01:36:52.159 It's tagged in my art bio so you can find it there. 01:36:52.239 --> 01:36:55.439 Um and I have my own website, also art by srg. 01:36:55.680 --> 01:36:58.560 So at least the consistency you can find me easily. 01:36:58.800 --> 01:36:59.119 Yes. 01:36:59.359 --> 01:37:06.560 Um, I'm always out at SESI's gallery and Sessie's art market in Durham. 01:37:06.720 --> 01:37:15.119 So Saturday mornings, the Durham Farmers Market, Foster Street gets shut down, and it's Durham Central Park, and it's full of farmers market vendors. 01:37:15.439 --> 01:37:18.880 And then right here is the art market, and it just bleeds into one another. 01:37:19.039 --> 01:37:19.680 Oh, that's cool. 01:37:19.840 --> 01:37:22.159 And I'm all every Saturday morning. 01:37:22.239 --> 01:37:22.399 Okay. 01:37:22.560 --> 01:37:24.720 So you there's one a year that they close. 01:37:24.800 --> 01:37:26.000 I think it's Thanksgiving. 01:37:26.239 --> 01:37:32.479 Um, and that's like I have to get up so early, but I look forward to it so much. 01:37:32.720 --> 01:37:37.199 I love that because I remember last time you're last time I saw you, you were like, I have a market tomorrow morning. 01:37:37.279 --> 01:37:39.920 And I guess I thought it was that just one market, but that's every Saturday. 01:37:40.159 --> 01:37:40.880 It's every Saturday. 01:37:41.119 --> 01:37:41.600 That's awesome. 01:37:41.680 --> 01:37:46.479 Um, and I help like kind of organize it for Sessie, the gallery owner. 01:37:46.560 --> 01:37:48.319 She's like a beautiful person. 01:37:48.560 --> 01:37:50.399 Um so I'm there a lot. 01:37:50.479 --> 01:37:53.680 I have one coming up that I'm really excited about. 01:37:54.319 --> 01:37:55.119 Let's see. 01:37:55.279 --> 01:37:59.439 It is on April 4th. 01:37:59.600 --> 01:38:01.199 It is a trans youth fundraiser. 01:38:01.359 --> 01:38:02.159 Oh, beautiful. 01:38:02.479 --> 01:38:05.279 And let me see. 01:38:05.920 --> 01:38:07.920 Trans youth fundraiser. 01:38:08.079 --> 01:38:09.199 Who's the organization? 01:38:09.439 --> 01:38:11.680 Trans Day of Visibility Fundraiser. 01:38:11.840 --> 01:38:15.439 It's going to be at Radical Healing in Durham. 01:38:15.600 --> 01:38:16.720 I'm very excited about this. 01:38:16.960 --> 01:38:17.439 Sounds funny. 01:38:17.600 --> 01:38:19.199 Um you said April what, seventh? 01:38:19.359 --> 01:38:19.600 Fourth. 01:38:19.760 --> 01:38:20.000 Fourth. 01:38:20.159 --> 01:38:20.479 You're fine. 01:38:20.640 --> 01:38:20.880 Sorry. 01:38:21.439 --> 01:38:27.760 But I'll post all of this like on my social media and my website events page so people can get the information. 01:38:27.840 --> 01:38:29.279 But I'm really excited about that one. 01:38:29.359 --> 01:38:37.279 And just trying to do like, since I have so many other things and other avenues going on, I'm not as reliant on market income right now. 01:38:37.600 --> 01:38:41.520 So I'm kind of being pickier about which ones I do. 01:38:41.760 --> 01:38:42.239 As you should. 01:38:42.399 --> 01:38:45.520 And trying to find more like intentional ones, you know? 01:38:45.600 --> 01:38:45.840 Yeah. 01:38:46.079 --> 01:38:53.279 So I'm excited for this one and see what other there's another organization, Art for All NC, that does amazing work. 01:38:53.359 --> 01:38:58.000 Um, and they're currently doing a like an art protest series. 01:38:58.479 --> 01:38:58.720 Nice. 01:38:58.960 --> 01:38:59.760 Yes, it's really cool. 01:38:59.840 --> 01:39:03.199 So Art for All NC, if you're interested in learning more about that. 01:39:03.439 --> 01:39:04.000 Awesome. 01:39:04.159 --> 01:39:05.279 Um, I think that's it. 01:39:05.359 --> 01:39:05.520 Yeah. 01:39:05.760 --> 01:39:07.199 This was such a good conversation. 01:39:07.920 --> 01:39:10.560 I think we went way over time, but I'm okay with it. 01:39:11.760 --> 01:39:12.479 What even time is it? 01:39:12.560 --> 01:39:12.880 I don't know. 01:39:12.960 --> 01:39:13.920 Oh, yeah, two hours. 01:39:14.319 --> 01:39:14.800 I love it. 01:39:15.039 --> 01:39:15.680 That's great. 01:39:15.840 --> 01:39:16.960 Um, but awesome. 01:39:17.119 --> 01:39:18.159 Then thank you so much. 01:39:18.239 --> 01:39:19.279 And everyone have a beautiful day.