The Practical Guide for Ministering to Single Adults | An Interview with Logan Steele and Ally Skinner-এর সম্পূর্ণ প্রতিলিপি

will 40 00:01:32.984 --> 00:01:35.644 - scour those archives and give you a specific 41 00:01:36.025 --> 00:01:38.104 - answer to the content that you're looking for. 42 00:01:38.104 --> 00:01:40.745 - So come join us over at Zion Lab, 43 00:01:40.745 --> 00:01:44.310 - which you can find at leadingsaints.org/zion. 44 00:01:47.569 --> 00:01:49.569 - As we know, more than half of the 45 00:01:49.569 --> 00:01:52.209 - church is single. What do we do about 46 00:01:52.209 --> 00:01:54.310 - that? We got YSA wards, 47 00:01:54.609 --> 00:01:58.069 - mid singles wards. We got singles activities and 48 00:01:58.334 --> 00:02:00.415 - apps and, you know, even outside of the 49 00:02:00.415 --> 00:02:03.394 - official efforts of the church, the the singledom 50 00:02:03.454 --> 00:02:04.435 - is is definitely 51 00:02:05.375 --> 00:02:07.075 - definitely a movement that's happening. 52 00:02:07.454 --> 00:02:10.014 - And it's not always as easy as just 53 00:02:10.014 --> 00:02:12.334 - getting these people married. Right? And moving on. 54 00:02:12.334 --> 00:02:14.900 - Of course, we we desire everybody to benefit 55 00:02:14.959 --> 00:02:17.680 - from the ordinances of, you know, especially those 56 00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:20.400 - connected with marriage. So I'm excited to bring 57 00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:23.759 - in Ali Skinner and Logan Steele to the 58 00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:26.955 - studio here because they're just starting a podcast 59 00:02:27.094 --> 00:02:30.294 - called The Single Adult Podcast where they're really 60 00:02:30.294 --> 00:02:33.574 - jumping into topics and hearing stories all around 61 00:02:33.574 --> 00:02:36.055 - this experience of being single in the church. 62 00:02:36.055 --> 00:02:37.655 - What can we learn from it? How do 63 00:02:37.655 --> 00:02:40.469 - we navigate it when it's obviously, you know, 64 00:02:40.469 --> 00:02:43.110 - the culture is focused on a very marriage 65 00:02:43.110 --> 00:02:44.490 - type of focused culture. 66 00:02:44.790 --> 00:02:46.870 - And we have a great discussion as far 67 00:02:46.870 --> 00:02:48.629 - as what does it mean to really focus 68 00:02:48.629 --> 00:02:49.689 - on our personal 69 00:02:50.150 --> 00:02:50.650 - experience 70 00:02:51.030 --> 00:02:54.425 - regardless of our marital status, our personal relationship 71 00:02:54.564 --> 00:02:57.284 - with Jesus Christ, and how can we better 72 00:02:57.284 --> 00:02:59.705 - serve and be aware and hear the stories 73 00:03:00.164 --> 00:03:01.925 - of those that are single. And I don't 74 00:03:01.925 --> 00:03:03.525 - know. I get trapped in this as well. 75 00:03:03.525 --> 00:03:05.444 - Sometimes I'm like, well, just get married. You 76 00:03:05.444 --> 00:03:07.525 - know? The water's warm over here. Just just 77 00:03:07.525 --> 00:03:10.139 - jump in. Right? But it's often more complex 78 00:03:10.139 --> 00:03:11.199 - and the Lord, 79 00:03:11.500 --> 00:03:13.099 - you know, God may have them on a 80 00:03:13.099 --> 00:03:16.060 - different journey that maybe is just atypical, but 81 00:03:16.060 --> 00:03:17.199 - is obviously 82 00:03:17.500 --> 00:03:19.819 - a journey that many in the church are 83 00:03:19.819 --> 00:03:20.319 - experiencing 84 00:03:20.699 --> 00:03:22.985 - now. So they got a great podcast. Definitely 85 00:03:22.985 --> 00:03:25.224 - look it up wherever you're listening to this 86 00:03:25.224 --> 00:03:27.544 - podcast. And as leaders, we can learn more 87 00:03:27.544 --> 00:03:31.224 - about the single adult demographic and, turns out 88 00:03:31.224 --> 00:03:33.544 - they're just everyday Latter day Saints trying to 89 00:03:33.544 --> 00:03:35.305 - be better disciples like you and me. So 90 00:03:35.305 --> 00:03:37.560 - let's jump into it. My interview with Ali 91 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:39.500 - Skinner and Logan Steele. 92 00:03:48.120 --> 00:03:50.139 - Alright. I got Ali Skinner, 93 00:03:50.534 --> 00:03:53.254 - Logan Steele in the studio today. So you 94 00:03:53.254 --> 00:03:55.414 - guys are are brand new podcasters. How's it 95 00:03:55.414 --> 00:03:56.955 - feel? Welcome to the family. 96 00:03:57.655 --> 00:04:00.935 - Thank you. It's amazing. Awesome. Aly, what... What's 97 00:04:00.935 --> 00:04:02.854 - your story behind this? What... Maybe give us 98 00:04:02.854 --> 00:04:04.375 - the name of the podcast and how it 99 00:04:04.375 --> 00:04:06.700 - all began. The single adult podcast. 100 00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:07.659 - I 101 00:04:08.520 --> 00:04:10.060 - had the beautiful opportunity 102 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:13.980 - to do some pant alterations for Logan. 103 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:16.040 - Well, like, put your link at the bottom 104 00:04:16.040 --> 00:04:19.404 - for, like, alterations by Ali. You know? So, 105 00:04:19.845 --> 00:04:22.004 - that's how I met Logan, and we got 106 00:04:22.004 --> 00:04:22.504 - chatting 107 00:04:22.884 --> 00:04:23.785 - about our... 108 00:04:24.245 --> 00:04:25.064 - Just our 109 00:04:25.365 --> 00:04:25.865 - status 110 00:04:26.324 --> 00:04:27.464 - in life. And 111 00:04:27.764 --> 00:04:29.764 - Logan said we probably need to do a 112 00:04:29.764 --> 00:04:30.264 - podcast 113 00:04:30.645 --> 00:04:31.145 - on 114 00:04:32.004 --> 00:04:32.904 - single adults. 115 00:04:33.660 --> 00:04:35.819 - And I said, that sounds like a great 116 00:04:35.819 --> 00:04:36.319 - idea 117 00:04:36.620 --> 00:04:39.040 - based on my experience and Logan's. 118 00:04:39.819 --> 00:04:41.580 - So here we are. Yeah. And so, Logan, 119 00:04:41.580 --> 00:04:44.060 - this is your brainchild. Right? Well, it was, 120 00:04:44.620 --> 00:04:46.000 - I guess you could say that. 121 00:04:47.455 --> 00:04:49.295 - No. It really what happened. This is just 122 00:04:49.295 --> 00:04:50.574 - a few months ago when Allie and I 123 00:04:50.574 --> 00:04:53.134 - met, but I knew some people that were 124 00:04:53.134 --> 00:04:56.014 - putting together a family

related podcast about the 125 00:04:56.014 --> 00:04:57.615 - church. And I asked, oh, are you gonna 126 00:04:57.615 --> 00:04:58.115 - include 127 00:04:58.495 --> 00:04:59.790 - a a single adult as like, you know, 128 00:04:59.790 --> 00:05:02.430 - to represent a family of one? And they 129 00:05:02.430 --> 00:05:03.970 - said, we don't think so. And 130 00:05:04.990 --> 00:05:06.829 - usually those things don't bother me. They're just 131 00:05:06.829 --> 00:05:08.829 - gonna hit me wrong. And that's around the 132 00:05:08.829 --> 00:05:10.910 - time that Allie and I was looking for, 133 00:05:10.910 --> 00:05:12.669 - there must be a thousand that exist about 134 00:05:12.669 --> 00:05:14.735 - single adults podcasts. And there were like, weren't 135 00:05:14.735 --> 00:05:16.834 - any, there was like one or two and 136 00:05:16.894 --> 00:05:18.915 - they're not even really around anymore. 137 00:05:19.294 --> 00:05:20.975 - So I asked others if they wanted to 138 00:05:20.975 --> 00:05:23.535 - just, you go create one, no one, anyway, 139 00:05:23.535 --> 00:05:25.214 - out of a necessity, we kind of ended 140 00:05:25.214 --> 00:05:26.814 - up just starting to make one. And I'm 141 00:05:26.814 --> 00:05:28.194 - glad we like 142 00:05:28.500 --> 00:05:31.080 - started because it's now kinda building something that 143 00:05:31.139 --> 00:05:33.220 - we think is neat. Yeah. What what would 144 00:05:33.220 --> 00:05:34.819 - you say? Like, what are the big questions 145 00:05:34.819 --> 00:05:37.540 - you really hope to maybe tackle sooner than 146 00:05:37.540 --> 00:05:38.900 - later that they come to mind? And and 147 00:05:38.900 --> 00:05:40.420 - maybe that would kinda give us an idea 148 00:05:40.420 --> 00:05:42.259 - of the type of podcast this is or 149 00:05:42.259 --> 00:05:44.355 - or the topics you'll cover. That is a 150 00:05:44.355 --> 00:05:46.274 - good question. And I think the most important 151 00:05:46.274 --> 00:05:48.274 - thing to kind of first say is that 152 00:05:48.274 --> 00:05:49.875 - we didn't want this just to be a 153 00:05:49.875 --> 00:05:53.254 - podcast about talking about being a single adult 154 00:05:53.314 --> 00:05:55.634 - in-depth or... What'd you call it, Ally? Just 155 00:05:55.714 --> 00:05:58.110 - Like a gripe session. Oh, yeah. You know, 156 00:05:58.110 --> 00:06:01.470 - woo hoo, I'm single. All that. That we 157 00:06:01.470 --> 00:06:02.689 - didn't want it to... 158 00:06:03.149 --> 00:06:05.550 - Although we can talk about that because there 159 00:06:05.550 --> 00:06:08.670 - are certain elements about being single that are 160 00:06:08.670 --> 00:06:11.230 - hard. Mhmm. But we didn't want that to 161 00:06:11.230 --> 00:06:12.290 - be the main focus. 162 00:06:12.764 --> 00:06:13.264 - So 163 00:06:14.125 --> 00:06:16.125 - kind of bridging both of those of being 164 00:06:16.125 --> 00:06:17.185 - single and 165 00:06:17.725 --> 00:06:19.805 - how to find hope and how to find

166 00:06:19.805 --> 00:06:21.664 - purpose and meaning in 167 00:06:21.964 --> 00:06:23.104 - family centered 168 00:06:23.644 --> 00:06:27.185 - gospel and church, it's hard being single. But 169 00:06:27.319 --> 00:06:28.220 - with the percentage 170 00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:31.259 - as it is today of how many singles 171 00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:33.639 - are in the church, I think it's a 172 00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:34.139 - very 173 00:06:34.759 --> 00:06:37.339 - important topic and there's a lot of us 174 00:06:37.560 --> 00:06:38.699 - to represent and 175 00:06:39.415 --> 00:06:40.935 - touch base and see how we can do 176 00:06:40.935 --> 00:06:43.574 - better, how leadership can do better, those types 177 00:06:43.574 --> 00:06:45.334 - of things. Yeah. Like like like you were 178 00:06:45.334 --> 00:06:47.415 - saying, that over half the adults in the 179 00:06:47.415 --> 00:06:49.814 - church are single adults. So if you're talking 180 00:06:49.814 --> 00:06:51.420 - to all the adult men in the church, 181 00:06:51.500 --> 00:06:53.740 - it's a smaller audience than the single adults 182 00:06:53.740 --> 00:06:55.660 - in the church. And I don't think that's 183 00:06:55.660 --> 00:06:56.160 - understood 184 00:06:56.540 --> 00:06:58.460 - a lot. A lot of them, you don't 185 00:06:58.460 --> 00:07:00.220 - see them because they're inactive or they're not 186 00:07:00.220 --> 00:07:02.060 - around, or they just get slipped through a 187 00:07:02.060 --> 00:07:02.879 - lot of cracks. 188 00:07:03.340 --> 00:07:05.360 - But for the podcast, we want to just 189 00:07:05.625 --> 00:07:07.564 - to, like Ali said, acknowledge 190 00:07:07.944 --> 00:07:09.944 - honestly kind of this, you know, how we 191 00:07:09.944 --> 00:07:11.245 - feel, what it's like, 192 00:07:11.705 --> 00:07:12.925 - talk about those experiences, 193 00:07:13.384 --> 00:07:15.225 - and then, you know, the hope of the... 194 00:07:15.225 --> 00:07:16.824 - In the gospel and the hope in Jesus 195 00:07:16.824 --> 00:07:20.125 - Christ. And base it on gospel principles and 196 00:07:20.290 --> 00:07:21.350 - and what we can learn. 197 00:07:21.970 --> 00:07:23.569 - And and really, I think that is why 198 00:07:23.569 --> 00:07:26.230 - it applies to a bigger audience than just 199 00:07:26.290 --> 00:07:28.709 - if we limited it to young single adults 200 00:07:29.009 --> 00:07:31.089 - or older single adults or mid single adults. 201 00:07:31.089 --> 00:07:33.009 - Yeah. Because it's the gospel. It could apply 202 00:07:33.009 --> 00:07:35.009 - to anyone. Just we start with the lens 203 00:07:35.009 --> 00:07:37.414 - of what's, you a single little experience or 204 00:07:37.414 --> 00:07:39.574 - maybe feeling lonely. And what does lonely mean? 205 00:07:39.574 --> 00:07:41.414 - And, and the gospel could be this. And 206 00:07:41.414 --> 00:07:43.334 - so we talk about how do you stay 207 00:07:43.334 --> 00:07:45.334 - active as a single adult when you're just 208 00:07:45.334 --> 00:07:47.814 - motivated by yourself to go every week and 209 00:07:47.814 --> 00:07:49.620 - things like that, or what does it mean 210 00:07:49.620 --> 00:07:50.979 - to be a single adult? Is a single 211 00:07:50.979 --> 00:07:51.879 - adult a family? 212 00:07:52.259 --> 00:07:54.180 - How can you contribute? What are cool experiences 213 00:07:54.180 --> 00:07:56.040 - you've had because you're a single adult? 214 00:07:56.660 --> 00:07:59.459 - Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we naturally... You 215 00:07:59.459 --> 00:08:02.084 - know, especially in our church, we have YSA 216 00:08:02.084 --> 00:08:04.245 - awards, like young single adults awards, mid singles 217 00:08:04.245 --> 00:08:06.404 - awards, and and, you know, you hear it 218 00:08:06.404 --> 00:08:08.245 - talked about, like, in general conference that, you 219 00:08:08.245 --> 00:08:10.805 - know, single adults are the majority in in 220 00:08:10.805 --> 00:08:12.245 - the church. And so when it comes to 221 00:08:12.245 --> 00:08:13.845 - labels... Because people are gonna be like, well, 222 00:08:13.845 --> 00:08:14.745 - I don't know, Logan. 223 00:08:15.079 --> 00:08:17.319 - Ali, is this a a YSA podcast? Is 224 00:08:17.319 --> 00:08:18.759 - it a mid single pod? Like, what is 225 00:08:18.759 --> 00:08:21.160 - this? Patel... Break down labels and how you 226 00:08:21.160 --> 00:08:23.319 - see labels, and maybe we're too obsessed about 227 00:08:23.319 --> 00:08:23.819 - labels. 228 00:08:24.279 --> 00:08:26.759 - Yeah. I think so. I've never felt more 229 00:08:26.759 --> 00:08:28.764 - aware of my age and my status of 230 00:08:28.764 --> 00:08:31.485 - being single than when I go to church. 231 00:08:31.485 --> 00:08:31.985 - Yeah. 232 00:08:32.524 --> 00:08:34.845 - But, yeah, it... It's... The conversation's bigger than 233 00:08:34.845 --> 00:08:36.924 - just single adults too. We bring in leaders. 234 00:08:36.924 --> 00:08:39.085 - They've been in every episode, like local leaders, 235 00:08:39.085 --> 00:08:41.024 - state presidents, bishops, married 236 00:08:41.485 --> 00:08:43.184 - folk, and, singles. 237 00:08:43.610 --> 00:08:46.269 - So we can understand. Even married people 238 00:08:47.050 --> 00:08:49.529 - that have been married and then divorced and 239 00:08:49.529 --> 00:08:52.649 - then remarried too. So that's another... Yeah. Lots 240 00:08:52.649 --> 00:08:54.649 - of lessons learned there. Right? Yes. Yeah. Well, 241 00:08:54.649 --> 00:08:56.810 - right. And without having all these components, then 242 00:08:56.810 --> 00:08:59.325 - it's just us talking to ourselves and not 243 00:08:59.565 --> 00:09:01.804 - really learning a lot, but we understand what 244 00:09:01.804 --> 00:09:04.044 - a leader is like is trying to figure 245 00:09:04.044 --> 00:09:06.365 - out or the approach they don't know how 246 00:09:06.365 --> 00:09:09.004 - to take, or they can listen to what 247 00:09:09.004 --> 00:09:10.684 - we're kind of

feeling or how we like 248 00:09:10.684 --> 00:09:12.845 - to, I don't know, be addressed or if 249 00:09:12.845 --> 00:09:14.610 - we are not that we speak for all 250 00:09:14.610 --> 00:09:16.069 - single adults, but just... 251 00:09:16.370 --> 00:09:18.049 - Yeah. I don't know. The the broad view 252 00:09:18.049 --> 00:09:19.089 - of how we can all kind of have 253 00:09:19.089 --> 00:09:21.089 - a conversation together about it. Yeah. At least 254 00:09:21.089 --> 00:09:22.850 - there's a platform there that are speaking to 255 00:09:22.850 --> 00:09:25.169 - that group, whether you're covering all the issues 256 00:09:25.169 --> 00:09:27.164 - or will or whatever. It's it's there, and 257 00:09:27.245 --> 00:09:29.404 - hopefully, people feel heard and part of a 258 00:09:29.404 --> 00:09:31.024 - broader discussion and conversation. 259 00:09:31.404 --> 00:09:33.245 - Right? I think one thing with it too 260 00:09:33.245 --> 00:09:36.304 - is that it's not age specific. It's for 261 00:09:36.445 --> 00:09:37.745 - any age, 262 00:09:38.204 --> 00:09:40.929 - any... You know, it isn't the young singer, 263 00:09:40.929 --> 00:09:42.690 - you know, or 20 year old to 25 264 00:09:42.690 --> 00:09:45.490 - or whatever the categories are. I think the 265 00:09:45.490 --> 00:09:45.990 - podcast 266 00:09:46.529 --> 00:09:47.669 - applies to... 267 00:09:48.129 --> 00:09:50.549 - No matter what age you are, it applies 268 00:09:50.769 --> 00:09:54.070 - to... Hopefully, it does in some aspect of 269 00:09:54.394 --> 00:09:57.514 - regardless of your age or where... What category 270 00:09:57.514 --> 00:09:59.035 - you're in in the church or what type 271 00:09:59.035 --> 00:10:01.695 - of ward you're attending that the single... 272 00:10:02.554 --> 00:10:05.355 - It's single for all ages. Well, and... Or 273 00:10:05.355 --> 00:10:07.379 - anyone that knows a single adult, Anyone that 274 00:10:07.620 --> 00:10:09.220 - Yeah. Has met one or has one in 275 00:10:09.220 --> 00:10:12.360 - their family or has one under their leadership. 276 00:10:12.420 --> 00:10:14.899 - I mean, it's a conversation about single adults, 277 00:10:14.899 --> 00:10:17.080 - not for single adults. And I think that's... 278 00:10:17.540 --> 00:10:20.040 - That helps us not get too far into 279 00:10:20.875 --> 00:10:24.074 - isolating us as a group and just remembering 280 00:10:24.074 --> 00:10:26.714 - that there's a gospel. The gospel's not a 281 00:10:26.714 --> 00:10:28.954 - single adult gospel and one for everyone else. 282 00:10:28.954 --> 00:10:31.115 - You know, we're all just... In this group, 283 00:10:31.115 --> 00:10:33.194 - we all have, things about our lives that 284 00:10:33.194 --> 00:10:34.794 - feel special and that kind of is what 285 00:10:34.794 --> 00:10:36.450 - unifies us, I think. Just feeling 286 00:10:36.929 --> 00:10:38.690 - that we're all a little special with those 287 00:10:38.690 --> 00:10:41.330 - differences. Yeah. And with these

labels, you know, 288 00:10:41.330 --> 00:10:44.230 - then these labels turn into actual, like, congregations 289 00:10:44.370 --> 00:10:46.610 - and wards. Right? Where it's... I I would 290 00:10:46.610 --> 00:10:48.529 - imagine it's easy for, you know, being a 291 00:10:48.529 --> 00:10:50.529 - single adult, you sort of think... Or the 292 00:10:50.529 --> 00:10:52.235 - default is, well, now I get, what are 293 00:10:52.235 --> 00:10:53.914 - the single adult awards in the area, the 294 00:10:53.914 --> 00:10:56.714 - activities, and we sort of... I would imagine... 295 00:10:56.714 --> 00:10:58.394 - Correct me if I'm wrong. You see your 296 00:10:58.394 --> 00:11:00.634 - your membership experiences sort sort of goes through 297 00:11:00.634 --> 00:11:03.034 - this lens of what's the ward or what's 298 00:11:03.034 --> 00:11:04.829 - the ward doing when... And you kinda can 299 00:11:04.829 --> 00:11:06.829 - kinda lose the... Well, I'm actually just a 300 00:11:06.829 --> 00:11:09.149 - disciple of Jesus Christ type of thing. What... 301 00:11:09.149 --> 00:11:10.909 - Maybe what comes to mind with that dynamic 302 00:11:10.909 --> 00:11:13.549 - when it... With wards and activities or groups 303 00:11:13.549 --> 00:11:14.049 - or... 304 00:11:14.509 --> 00:11:15.730 - I think that 305 00:11:16.424 --> 00:11:19.065 - for sure there is a purpose for those 306 00:11:19.065 --> 00:11:21.804 - and I'm glad that they're here. I'm super 307 00:11:22.345 --> 00:11:25.245 - grateful for those that go there and find 308 00:11:25.705 --> 00:11:27.804 - meaning and they find connection 309 00:11:28.264 --> 00:11:28.764 - and 310 00:11:29.384 --> 00:11:31.404 - the things that they find in those 311 00:11:32.019 --> 00:11:32.519 - wards 312 00:11:32.980 --> 00:11:35.299 - and those type... Because I do think that 313 00:11:35.299 --> 00:11:36.120 - they serve 314 00:11:36.580 --> 00:11:37.720 - a great purpose 315 00:11:38.019 --> 00:11:39.399 - in that sense. 316 00:11:39.940 --> 00:11:42.360 - But as far as the podcast goes, regardless 317 00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:43.940 - of if you're in a home ward or 318 00:11:43.940 --> 00:11:46.195 - if you're in a young single adult ward, 319 00:11:46.195 --> 00:11:47.815 - those different areas, 320 00:11:48.274 --> 00:11:51.875 - these principles would apply regardless of what ward 321 00:11:51.875 --> 00:11:52.934 - you're in or, 322 00:11:53.315 --> 00:11:56.355 - you know, the status of a home ward 323 00:11:56.355 --> 00:11:58.915 - or young single adult ward or the ages 324 00:11:58.915 --> 00:12:00.970 - that are in it. Don't you... I think 325 00:12:00.970 --> 00:12:04.009 - that. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And president Ballard talked 326 00:12:04.009 --> 00:12:04.509 - about 327 00:12:04.809 --> 00:12:07.690 - there's the... An administrative aspect and a practical 328 00:12:07.690 --> 00:12:09.309 - aspect of identifying 329 00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:12.169 - these different groups like that. That I get,

330 00:12:12.169 --> 00:12:14.490 - and I think that's great to do and 331 00:12:14.490 --> 00:12:16.975 - helpful. I've had people turn me down being 332 00:12:16.975 --> 00:12:18.735 - on the podcast because they said, I don't 333 00:12:18.735 --> 00:12:20.335 - feel like a single adult even though I 334 00:12:20.335 --> 00:12:22.815 - am one. Mhmm. And I kinda fall into 335 00:12:22.815 --> 00:12:24.495 - that category. Like, I wonder if I was 336 00:12:24.495 --> 00:12:26.575 - the best person to represent one because I 337 00:12:26.575 --> 00:12:28.500 - don't feel like one, though. I definitely am 338 00:12:28.720 --> 00:12:30.319 - one. So what does it mean to feel 339 00:12:30.319 --> 00:12:32.559 - like you are versus, I mean, do I 340 00:12:32.559 --> 00:12:34.480 - need to feel part of a community? I 341 00:12:34.480 --> 00:12:36.720 - prefer family wards. I know a lot of 342 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:38.419 - my friends prefer the singles wards. 343 00:12:38.879 --> 00:12:39.539 - It's about 344 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:42.240 - the opportunity to feel comfortable is there, I 345 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:44.195 - guess, and understanding, I guess, maybe what your 346 00:12:44.195 --> 00:12:47.554 - needs are and Yeah. Flexibility just maybe across 347 00:12:47.554 --> 00:12:50.115 - the board. Yeah. Well, I can imagine just 348 00:12:50.115 --> 00:12:52.034 - as a... Speaking as a podcaster, as you're 349 00:12:52.034 --> 00:12:54.615 - trying to figure out different focuses and topics, 350 00:12:55.009 --> 00:12:57.409 - there maybe is maybe... Maybe there's a temptation 351 00:12:57.409 --> 00:12:59.250 - to say, let's talk about... You know, get 352 00:12:59.250 --> 00:13:00.929 - focused on the ward and what makes a 353 00:13:00.929 --> 00:13:03.250 - good, you know, singles ward or what are 354 00:13:03.250 --> 00:13:05.089 - some activities or things. Right? We kinda get 355 00:13:05.089 --> 00:13:07.089 - sucked into that world when there's a much 356 00:13:07.089 --> 00:13:10.324 - more dynamic experience happening in in individual lives. 357 00:13:10.324 --> 00:13:12.485 - Right? Absolutely. And I think what we've noticed 358 00:13:12.485 --> 00:13:14.245 - in the episodes is there's a shift that 359 00:13:14.245 --> 00:13:17.284 - happens midway through each each show where we 360 00:13:17.284 --> 00:13:19.144 - are talking about experiences 361 00:13:19.524 --> 00:13:22.884 - and just being honest about how it feels 362 00:13:22.884 --> 00:13:24.904 - and what it looks like and some stories. 363 00:13:25.080 --> 00:13:26.540 - But it all comes back to, 364 00:13:26.920 --> 00:13:28.779 - you know, this could be solved in 365 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:32.379 - ways where by ministering to others or to, 366 00:13:32.679 --> 00:13:33.340 - you know, 367 00:13:33.879 --> 00:13:37.160 - not be offended because you're a child of 368 00:13:37.160 --> 00:13:39.240 - God and and your perspective can be different. 369 00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:41.115 - Like, the gospel is fascinating 370 00:13:41.495 --> 00:13:43.894 - because no matter what you talk about, if 371 00:13:43.894 --> 00:13:44.794 - you're trying to 372 00:13:45.254 --> 00:13:46.394 - heal or understand 373 00:13:47.095 --> 00:13:50.054 - or learn something, there's a gospel principle that 374 00:13:50.054 --> 00:13:53.649 - you can practice and be better for using. 375 00:13:53.950 --> 00:13:55.730 - Yeah. Yeah. Which applies 376 00:13:56.350 --> 00:13:58.669 - to married, you know, adults as well. Even 377 00:13:58.669 --> 00:14:00.990 - married people. Amazing. We we need the gospel. 378 00:14:00.990 --> 00:14:03.250 - We call you married adults instead of... Yes. 379 00:14:03.789 --> 00:14:06.144 - We call us adults. Flip the script on, 380 00:14:06.625 --> 00:14:08.945 - oh, so you're a married adult. Wow. Nice 381 00:14:08.945 --> 00:14:10.705 - to meet you. How's married, buddy? I like 382 00:14:10.705 --> 00:14:12.485 - it. Yeah. We're praying for you. Like... 383 00:14:13.985 --> 00:14:16.144 - Well, speaking of story, like, Ali, maybe just 384 00:14:16.144 --> 00:14:17.985 - give us a summary of your your journey 385 00:14:17.985 --> 00:14:20.519 - and story and of singledom and and those 386 00:14:20.519 --> 00:14:22.519 - things. I mean... And maybe are there certain 387 00:14:22.519 --> 00:14:25.559 - principles and experiences that stand out that either 388 00:14:25.559 --> 00:14:26.300 - make your 389 00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:29.559 - story unique or resonate with other individuals who 390 00:14:29.559 --> 00:14:30.700 - have a similar story? 391 00:14:31.095 --> 00:14:33.495 - So I was thinking this morning as I 392 00:14:33.495 --> 00:14:35.735 - was getting ready to come here that the 393 00:14:35.735 --> 00:14:36.235 - majority 394 00:14:37.014 --> 00:14:39.574 - of my life has been single. I've been 395 00:14:39.574 --> 00:14:41.034 - married twice, but 396 00:14:41.574 --> 00:14:44.294 - I've been alone. I've I've been single. I've 397 00:14:44.294 --> 00:14:46.550 - taken my kids to church alone because neither 398 00:14:46.550 --> 00:14:48.490 - one of my husbands were active. 399 00:14:48.870 --> 00:14:51.509 - So really my journey has been as a 400 00:14:51.509 --> 00:14:54.470 - single. Although I was married, I was single 401 00:14:54.470 --> 00:14:56.649 - because I was taking my kids to church 402 00:14:56.710 --> 00:14:59.769 - alone and and doing all the things alone. 403 00:15:00.704 --> 00:15:01.204 - So, 404 00:15:01.745 --> 00:15:02.884 - yeah, that's been 405 00:15:03.504 --> 00:15:04.884 - the gist of my 406 00:15:05.264 --> 00:15:05.764 - journey. 407 00:15:06.384 --> 00:15:07.444 - Lots of different 408 00:15:08.225 --> 00:15:08.725 - aspects 409 00:15:09.105 --> 00:15:09.605 - of 410 00:15:10.144 --> 00:15:11.845 - going to church and 411 00:15:12.509 --> 00:15:14.509 - being treated. I don't know that I know 412 00:15:14.509 --> 00:15:16.910 - that I've been treated differently

because that's what 413 00:15:16.910 --> 00:15:18.690 - it's been like, but 414 00:15:19.149 --> 00:15:19.649 - that's 415 00:15:20.110 --> 00:15:22.990 - just been how it's been for me, but 416 00:15:22.990 --> 00:15:25.809 - I persevered. Yeah. I kept going 417 00:15:26.285 --> 00:15:29.325 - Yeah. Two little kids. And your testimony develops 418 00:15:29.325 --> 00:15:30.465 - and grows. Totally. 419 00:15:30.924 --> 00:15:33.884 - Yes. So my my lens and perspective is 420 00:15:33.884 --> 00:15:35.264 - pretty broad on 421 00:15:35.725 --> 00:15:39.165 - being married, divorced, being married and going to 422 00:15:39.165 --> 00:15:41.585 - church alone with my kids and my husband's 423 00:15:42.360 --> 00:15:45.080 - skiing and I'm at church, or he was 424 00:15:45.080 --> 00:15:46.919 - home drinking and I was at church with 425 00:15:46.919 --> 00:15:49.240 - the kids, you know, any... Those types of 426 00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:50.139 - things. So 427 00:15:50.600 --> 00:15:52.279 - the Lord has blessed me and I've been 428 00:15:52.279 --> 00:15:52.779 - able 429 00:15:53.240 --> 00:15:55.080 - to stick with it for... Because I didn't 430 00:15:55.080 --> 00:15:57.345 - grow up in the church either. So I 431 00:15:57.345 --> 00:15:58.725 - was basically single 432 00:15:59.105 --> 00:16:02.144 - then too. And going to primary by myself, 433 00:16:02.144 --> 00:16:02.644 - I 434 00:16:02.945 --> 00:16:05.105 - didn't... You know, my parents didn't go to 435 00:16:05.105 --> 00:16:07.345 - church. So it's kind of been my own 436 00:16:07.345 --> 00:16:07.845 - journey, 437 00:16:08.464 --> 00:16:08.964 - really. 438 00:16:09.610 --> 00:16:10.670 - So it's been, 439 00:16:11.050 --> 00:16:14.009 - it's amazing and it's so good. And I'm 440 00:16:14.009 --> 00:16:16.649 - so grateful that I'm where I am. Yeah. 441 00:16:16.649 --> 00:16:17.389 - That's awesome. 442 00:16:17.769 --> 00:16:19.529 - Logan, what about you? What's the summary of 443 00:16:19.529 --> 00:16:20.190 - your story? 444 00:16:20.649 --> 00:16:21.149 - Well, 445 00:16:22.054 --> 00:16:24.214 - unlike Allie, I was, I was raised in 446 00:16:24.214 --> 00:16:26.134 - the church. I, I left it around age 447 00:16:26.134 --> 00:16:28.074 - 13 because I didn't think it was true. 448 00:16:28.134 --> 00:16:30.454 - Turns out it is. So I came back 449 00:16:30.454 --> 00:16:32.214 - about ten years later, but then, 450 00:16:33.254 --> 00:16:36.634 - Yeah. Had been single until age 30 where 451 00:16:37.059 --> 00:16:37.879 - got married 452 00:16:38.259 --> 00:16:39.879 - for the first time and 453 00:16:40.580 --> 00:16:43.240 - divorced and then married again and divorced again. 454 00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:44.120 - And 455 00:16:44.500 --> 00:16:46.180 - now it's been about twelve years, and I'm 456 00:16:46.180 --> 00:16:47.620 - just in a phase, like, within the last, 457 00:16:47.620 --> 00:16:50.019 - like, six months, I'm like, maybe I'll start 458 00:16:50.019 --> 00:16:50.840 - dating again. 459 00:16:51.455 --> 00:16:53.054 - And a lot of people that I'm friends 460 00:16:53.054 --> 00:16:54.575 - with are in a very different space where 461 00:16:54.575 --> 00:16:56.995 - they're just so eager to be married again. 462 00:16:57.534 --> 00:17:00.254 - But it's taken me a long time. I 463 00:17:00.254 --> 00:17:02.095 - I I actually honestly never thought I would 464 00:17:02.095 --> 00:17:03.794 - feel that way. And I felt 465 00:17:04.109 --> 00:17:04.609 - okay. 466 00:17:04.990 --> 00:17:07.150 - Not having to be married again. It didn't 467 00:17:07.150 --> 00:17:09.470 - feel like I needed to go through that 468 00:17:09.470 --> 00:17:11.630 - again until it felt right. Which I didn't 469 00:17:11.630 --> 00:17:13.250 - expect, but it has happened. 470 00:17:13.789 --> 00:17:15.250 - And so, yeah, 471 00:17:15.549 --> 00:17:16.289 - now I'm 472 00:17:16.705 --> 00:17:17.205 - available. 473 00:17:17.984 --> 00:17:18.484 - So 474 00:17:19.585 --> 00:17:21.125 - Send them putting that out there. 475 00:17:21.585 --> 00:17:23.365 - He's on the apps, folks. I loaded. 476 00:17:23.744 --> 00:17:24.404 - I'm ready. 477 00:17:24.785 --> 00:17:27.105 - Super hot date. Yeah. I'm looking for, evening. 478 00:17:27.105 --> 00:17:27.605 - You're 479 00:17:29.025 --> 00:17:30.865 - you're part of the club of anyone. Give 480 00:17:30.865 --> 00:17:33.859 - me a call. Nice. No. Yeah. It's, yes. 481 00:17:33.859 --> 00:17:35.940 - I'm starting to date against... It's an interesting 482 00:17:35.940 --> 00:17:38.339 - experience. Cool. Well, a few things stand out 483 00:17:38.339 --> 00:17:40.900 - maybe I wanna highlight. Just this concept of 484 00:17:40.900 --> 00:17:43.619 - alone. Right? We're wired. I I don't... I 485 00:17:43.619 --> 00:17:46.464 - mean, correct me if you disagree, but we're 486 00:17:46.464 --> 00:17:48.464 - wired to be with people and to be... 487 00:17:48.464 --> 00:17:49.125 - Have companionship. 488 00:17:49.664 --> 00:17:51.345 - And there's some good and bad to that 489 00:17:51.345 --> 00:17:53.345 - where there's some days where you don't feel 490 00:17:53.345 --> 00:17:55.264 - wired to be alone. Right? Or maybe season 491 00:17:55.264 --> 00:17:57.845 - your life where you feel like, no. Actually, 492 00:17:57.984 --> 00:18:00.144 - this is actually working out pretty well, being 493 00:18:00.144 --> 00:18:02.580 - alone. But anything that, like, leaders could better 494 00:18:02.580 --> 00:18:04.039 - understand or or fellow 495 00:18:04.420 --> 00:18:06.980 - fellow members could could better understand about this 496 00:18:06.980 --> 00:18:08.359 - concept of alone and 497 00:18:08.660 --> 00:18:10.660 - maybe there's some days you want, maybe there's... 498 00:18:10.660 --> 00:18:12.180 - You don't, or is it just a burden? 499 00:18:12.180 --> 00:18:13.380 - What comes to mind when you think of 500 00:18:13.380 --> 00:18:15.515 - alone? I think you and I are the 501

00:18:15.515 --> 00:18:18.575 - opposite here. Do you wanna share... You start. 502 00:18:19.194 --> 00:18:20.335 - I love being alone. 503 00:18:21.515 --> 00:18:22.015 - I 504 00:18:22.474 --> 00:18:25.194 - rarely, if ever, feel lonely. Like, my motivation 505 00:18:25.194 --> 00:18:27.079 - out of date isn't born out of loneliness 506 00:18:27.220 --> 00:18:29.140 - as much as just feels like a time 507 00:18:29.140 --> 00:18:32.519 - where that can work. Mhmm. But I've always 508 00:18:32.900 --> 00:18:34.759 - enjoyed this... The solitude. 509 00:18:35.299 --> 00:18:36.660 - But that's... I I don't know if that's 510 00:18:36.660 --> 00:18:39.640 - rare or if I'm just so introverted that 511 00:18:39.914 --> 00:18:42.555 - it makes me feel more comfortable. But either 512 00:18:42.555 --> 00:18:43.615 - way, it's just, 513 00:18:43.994 --> 00:18:45.934 - that's not something I've dealt with as much. 514 00:18:45.994 --> 00:18:48.394 - But also I find it being unhealthy when 515 00:18:48.394 --> 00:18:50.475 - I just kind of isolate and that can 516 00:18:50.475 --> 00:18:51.914 - happen by default. So I have to make 517 00:18:51.914 --> 00:18:53.855 - an effort to do something I don't necessarily 518 00:18:53.914 --> 00:18:55.610 - want to do because I know it's better 519 00:18:55.610 --> 00:18:58.809 - for for me. Yeah. But Ally's different. Ally, 520 00:18:58.809 --> 00:19:00.809 - what do you think? Oh, I... You do 521 00:19:00.809 --> 00:19:01.710 - not like alone, 522 00:19:02.410 --> 00:19:04.890 - No. No. The more the merrier. Bring it 523 00:19:04.890 --> 00:19:07.710 - on. Have everybody over. So, 524 00:19:08.284 --> 00:19:10.605 - yeah, it's no fun. I... In one of 525 00:19:10.605 --> 00:19:12.684 - the podcasts, I talked about when I come 526 00:19:12.684 --> 00:19:14.605 - home from work and I open... Go through 527 00:19:14.605 --> 00:19:15.265 - the garage 528 00:19:15.644 --> 00:19:18.784 - and open the garage door. I yell, honey, 529 00:19:18.924 --> 00:19:19.825 - I'm home. 530 00:19:21.139 --> 00:19:23.079 - And just hoping today's the day somebody 531 00:19:23.700 --> 00:19:24.839 - answers back. Yes. 532 00:19:25.619 --> 00:19:27.319 - I'm so glad you're here. 533 00:19:27.700 --> 00:19:31.059 - So it's been seventeen years since I've been 534 00:19:31.059 --> 00:19:32.119 - alone, and I... 535 00:19:32.819 --> 00:19:36.195 - It's not any fun. Yeah. So I've tried 536 00:19:36.494 --> 00:19:38.195 - throughout my life when 537 00:19:38.654 --> 00:19:40.975 - I'm pretty sensitive to it. So when I'm 538 00:19:40.975 --> 00:19:43.315 - at church and I see someone sitting alone, 539 00:19:43.535 --> 00:19:46.335 - I always make sure that I go to 540 00:19:46.335 --> 00:19:48.275 - them and introduce myself. 541 00:19:48.575 --> 00:19:49.934 - You know, would it be okay if I 542 00:19:49.934 --> 00:19:52.509 - sit with you? Not because I want to 543 00:19:52.509 --> 00:19:54.750 - be with someone. I mean, it's great, but 544

00:19:54.750 --> 00:19:55.650 - I feel 545 00:19:56.269 --> 00:19:58.529 - the need to, if they're alone, 546 00:19:58.910 --> 00:20:00.990 - that they feel welcome and that they're not 547 00:20:00.990 --> 00:20:03.070 - just sitting there going, why didn't someone come 548 00:20:03.070 --> 00:20:05.009 - and talk to me? So I definitely... 549 00:20:05.505 --> 00:20:07.825 - I've always been that way, so it's something 550 00:20:07.825 --> 00:20:09.204 - that I really 551 00:20:09.664 --> 00:20:11.984 - make an effort at doing, especially at, like, 552 00:20:11.984 --> 00:20:14.325 - church or somewhere like that. I 553 00:20:14.704 --> 00:20:15.605 - would want 554 00:20:15.904 --> 00:20:18.944 - someone if they were feeling uncomfortable or, oh, 555 00:20:18.944 --> 00:20:20.785 - you know, no one has approached me, that 556 00:20:20.785 --> 00:20:21.390 - I make sure 557 00:20:22.190 --> 00:20:23.470 - sure that I'm one of those people that 558 00:20:23.470 --> 00:20:23.970 - will 559 00:20:24.349 --> 00:20:25.630 - make an effort to Well, I... And I 560 00:20:25.630 --> 00:20:27.309 - love the humor. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I 561 00:20:27.309 --> 00:20:29.230 - love that... About you, Ally, and what I 562 00:20:29.230 --> 00:20:30.990 - think a lot of people can do that 563 00:20:30.990 --> 00:20:33.150 - do so well is you you make a 564 00:20:33.150 --> 00:20:34.910 - purpose. Like, you're in an... You have an 565 00:20:34.910 --> 00:20:35.410 - opportunity 566 00:20:36.029 --> 00:20:36.529 - to 567 00:20:36.924 --> 00:20:38.365 - seek out the one or to see who 568 00:20:38.365 --> 00:20:39.505 - could need you and 569 00:20:39.884 --> 00:20:40.384 - give 570 00:20:40.765 --> 00:20:43.105 - you a purpose or reason more than just 571 00:20:43.244 --> 00:20:45.005 - you needed to go to church while you're 572 00:20:45.005 --> 00:20:45.505 - there. 573 00:20:45.884 --> 00:20:47.884 - For me, I mean, I need leaders to 574 00:20:47.884 --> 00:20:49.605 - help me because I need a calling Mhmm. 575 00:20:49.724 --> 00:20:51.244 - To stay active. And I love the church, 576 00:20:51.244 --> 00:20:52.400 - and I need that to stay active. Yeah. 577 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:55.279 - Yeah. You know? It just gives me just 578 00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:56.339 - this responsibility 579 00:20:56.880 --> 00:20:58.579 - and this consistency 580 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:01.460 - that helps me be reminded that I'm needed. 581 00:21:01.519 --> 00:21:03.700 - And it's, I'm not just going 582 00:21:04.204 --> 00:21:04.865 - for myself. 583 00:21:05.244 --> 00:21:06.845 - If I were more like Allie, then I 584 00:21:06.845 --> 00:21:08.845 - I could... I realized I could just go 585 00:21:08.845 --> 00:21:11.164 - help others also. But there's a lot of 586 00:21:11.164 --> 00:21:12.684 - there's a lot of reasons you need to 587 00:21:12.684 --> 00:21:15.085 - kind of determine when you're single, why you're 588 00:21:15.085 --> 00:21:16.684 - there and why you're staying an active member 589 00:21:16.684 --> 00:21:18.164 - of the church because being a member of 590 00:21:18.164 --> 00:21:19.779 - the church can be hard. And if it 591 00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:21.779 - weren't true, I... You know, then what would 592 00:21:21.779 --> 00:21:23.079 - motivate you to be there? 593 00:21:23.539 --> 00:21:25.299 - Yeah. Because, I mean, it's easy to say 594 00:21:25.299 --> 00:21:26.660 - you're there because it's true or, you know, 595 00:21:26.660 --> 00:21:29.380 - this is God's kingdom and you wanna engage 596 00:21:29.380 --> 00:21:31.299 - with it, but it's almost like that next 597 00:21:31.299 --> 00:21:33.724 - level of, alright. Well, you know, it's true. 598 00:21:33.724 --> 00:21:36.704 - So how can I approach this community, this 599 00:21:36.765 --> 00:21:39.904 - practice, this religion in a way that's positive? 600 00:21:39.964 --> 00:21:41.484 - Yeah. And for you, you may be motivated 601 00:21:41.484 --> 00:21:43.005 - like, oh, my kids need to go. That 602 00:21:43.005 --> 00:21:44.845 - could be enough some Sundays. Or I'm I'm 603 00:21:44.845 --> 00:21:47.244 - going with my spouse to a Sunday school 604 00:21:47.244 --> 00:21:49.460 - instead of just, you know, walking down the 605 00:21:49.460 --> 00:21:51.619 - hallways alone the entire time until it's over, 606 00:21:51.619 --> 00:21:52.119 - you 607 00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:54.340 - know, just, or you have to have someone 608 00:21:54.340 --> 00:21:56.180 - to study, come follow me with. And so 609 00:21:56.180 --> 00:21:57.779 - you feel prepared to go. That gives you 610 00:21:57.779 --> 00:21:59.779 - a, you know, you're preparing a week to 611 00:21:59.779 --> 00:22:00.440 - be there. 612 00:22:01.434 --> 00:22:04.174 - And it's a motivation that just is... It's 613 00:22:04.235 --> 00:22:06.315 - absent unless you make... We make some of 614 00:22:06.315 --> 00:22:06.815 - those 615 00:22:07.275 --> 00:22:09.535 - reasons ourselves or purposes ourselves. 616 00:22:09.914 --> 00:22:11.455 - Yeah. Yeah. Good stuff. 617 00:22:11.835 --> 00:22:13.535 - As far as, like, guiding principles 618 00:22:13.835 --> 00:22:17.019 - that leaders could maybe better understand and and 619 00:22:17.160 --> 00:22:19.180 - grab on to... Because I'm just thinking about 620 00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:22.039 - just the different dynamics of... And, you know, 621 00:22:22.039 --> 00:22:23.880 - maybe it's different for those who've never been 622 00:22:23.880 --> 00:22:25.400 - married as opposed to those who have been 623 00:22:25.400 --> 00:22:27.400 - married and... Or those who have been married, 624 00:22:27.400 --> 00:22:28.839 - but as opposed to those who have been 625 00:22:28.839 --> 00:22:31.384 - married and have kids. Right? There's this... It 626 00:22:31.384 --> 00:22:34.105 - gets tricky where it's like nobody's... I guess, 627 00:22:34.105 --> 00:22:36.184 - everybody's so different, you know, as we should 628 00:22:36.184 --> 00:22:38.585 - be. And

so... But you wanna grab on 629 00:22:38.585 --> 00:22:40.424 - the guiding principles. We're just like, well, that 630 00:22:40.424 --> 00:22:42.904 - may work for Ali, but for Logan's situation, 631 00:22:42.904 --> 00:22:44.505 - that kinda doesn't fit. So where do we 632 00:22:44.505 --> 00:22:46.720 - go from there as far as getting some 633 00:22:46.720 --> 00:22:49.359 - guidance or where to start? The one thing 634 00:22:49.359 --> 00:22:51.039 - that was shocking to me in one of 635 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:52.720 - the podcasts that we did, we had a 636 00:22:52.720 --> 00:22:54.420 - bishop or someone there, and 637 00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:57.619 - I didn't realize that there's only two 638 00:22:58.184 --> 00:23:01.384 - callings in the church that require someone to 639 00:23:01.384 --> 00:23:03.565 - be married and all the other, 640 00:23:03.944 --> 00:23:05.884 - you can be single and be... 641 00:23:06.424 --> 00:23:09.065 - So that was shocking to me. So I 642 00:23:09.065 --> 00:23:10.284 - think for a leader, 643 00:23:10.779 --> 00:23:13.099 - that they shouldn't hold back to call a 644 00:23:13.099 --> 00:23:15.180 - single woman as a primary president or the 645 00:23:15.180 --> 00:23:17.339 - Relief Society president or say the prayer and 646 00:23:17.339 --> 00:23:18.799 - sacrament meeting, those 647 00:23:19.259 --> 00:23:21.200 - that there's only two 648 00:23:21.500 --> 00:23:23.980 - callings that require you to be married, state 649 00:23:23.980 --> 00:23:26.565 - president and bishop. Is that Yeah. That's good 650 00:23:26.565 --> 00:23:27.625 - to hear. I think... 651 00:23:27.924 --> 00:23:30.184 - I don't know. I've ever been a bishop, 652 00:23:30.244 --> 00:23:32.804 - so I don't know what their thought process 653 00:23:32.804 --> 00:23:33.704 - is of, 654 00:23:34.085 --> 00:23:36.005 - you know, they... It has to be a 655 00:23:36.005 --> 00:23:38.005 - married couple that give the opening and closing 656 00:23:38.005 --> 00:23:40.244 - prayer or, you know, those types of things. 657 00:23:40.244 --> 00:23:40.744 - But 658 00:23:41.069 --> 00:23:43.309 - that regardless of whether you're married or not, 659 00:23:43.309 --> 00:23:45.710 - you can hold a calling. They don't have 660 00:23:45.710 --> 00:23:48.669 - to be married. Yeah. Unless you're a bishop 661 00:23:48.669 --> 00:23:50.429 - or a stake president, which I will never 662 00:23:50.429 --> 00:23:52.690 - be. Yeah. So I can do it all. 663 00:23:54.464 --> 00:23:55.984 - I can do anything. You can be a 664 00:23:55.984 --> 00:23:58.144 - Sunday school president now. Yeah. They're they're so... 665 00:23:58.144 --> 00:24:00.144 - Does Adam today. Oh, okay. Wait a minute. 666 00:24:00.144 --> 00:24:01.924 - That's going a little too far. 667 00:24:02.545 --> 00:24:04.224 - I'd love that. And I also think... I 668 00:24:04.224 --> 00:24:05.445 - mean, for me, 669 00:24:05.809 --> 00:24:08.630 - something someone said as a former state president 670 00:24:08.690 --> 00:24:10.130 - was on the show, Todd, and he was 671 00:24:10.130 --> 00:24:11.829 - talking about we have to 672 00:24:12.289 --> 00:24:14.769 - feel someone's experience before we can, like, fill 673 00:24:14.769 --> 00:24:16.230 - their needs. Mhmm. And 674 00:24:16.849 --> 00:24:18.529 - the other guest we had with us, Lori 675 00:24:18.529 --> 00:24:19.750 - Newbold, talked about 676 00:24:20.164 --> 00:24:21.845 - that the best leaders are the ones that 677 00:24:21.845 --> 00:24:23.544 - ask for questions. So 678 00:24:23.924 --> 00:24:25.765 - you're right. How do you know? You don't 679 00:24:25.765 --> 00:24:27.444 - know. Right. I think you just need to 680 00:24:27.444 --> 00:24:28.984 - ask. You don't know if someone 681 00:24:29.365 --> 00:24:30.884 - is ready for a calling or not or 682 00:24:30.884 --> 00:24:32.325 - what they may wanna do or what they 683 00:24:32.325 --> 00:24:33.269 - may be good at. 684 00:24:33.750 --> 00:24:34.250 - And 685 00:24:34.549 --> 00:24:37.289 - I think some assumptions could cause the interference. 686 00:24:37.750 --> 00:24:39.830 - I know for me, I've noticed this is 687 00:24:39.830 --> 00:24:41.509 - always just kind of a, if I wanna 688 00:24:41.509 --> 00:24:43.029 - call it a pet peeve, because I I 689 00:24:43.029 --> 00:24:45.750 - get it. But leaders will avoid talking to 690 00:24:45.750 --> 00:24:46.250 - me 691 00:24:46.634 --> 00:24:47.134 - about, 692 00:24:47.595 --> 00:24:49.914 - like, marriage and family and exaltation. They'll skirt 693 00:24:49.914 --> 00:24:51.434 - around that Oh, yeah. For talking about the 694 00:24:51.434 --> 00:24:53.434 - gospel because they don't wanna offend me. And 695 00:24:53.434 --> 00:24:55.455 - the offensive part is that I'm so fragile. 696 00:24:55.595 --> 00:24:57.355 - Don't don't dare bring it up because I 697 00:24:57.355 --> 00:24:59.355 - am a broken person. Yeah. You gotta be 698 00:24:59.355 --> 00:25:00.015 - very careful. 699 00:25:00.500 --> 00:25:02.039 - And the truth is 700 00:25:02.340 --> 00:25:04.200 - like, don't worry about, I think, offending 701 00:25:04.740 --> 00:25:05.559 - single adults. 702 00:25:06.019 --> 00:25:08.100 - Let me share something I learned in one 703 00:25:08.100 --> 00:25:09.799 - of my, one of my many marriages. 704 00:25:11.380 --> 00:25:12.980 - I was going to marriage counseling with my 705 00:25:12.980 --> 00:25:14.865 - first wife and I was talking to the 706 00:25:14.865 --> 00:25:16.785 - counselor and I was saying, well, I'm trying 707 00:25:16.785 --> 00:25:17.984 - to do all these things to make her 708 00:25:17.984 --> 00:25:20.065 - happy. I'm... I wanna make her happy. And 709 00:25:20.065 --> 00:25:21.125 - the counselor said, 710 00:25:21.424 --> 00:25:23.365 - okay. But that's really controlling. 711 00:25:23.984 --> 00:25:25.585 - And I said, no. I wanna make her 712 00:25:25.585 --> 00:25:26.085 - happy. 713 00:25:26.779 --> 00:25:29.099 - Should... If you're trying

to make anyone feel 714 00:25:29.099 --> 00:25:29.599 - anything, 715 00:25:29.980 --> 00:25:32.380 - it can be controlling. Mhmm. That taught me 716 00:25:32.380 --> 00:25:34.460 - a lot. Yeah. Where all you can do 717 00:25:34.460 --> 00:25:37.019 - is say, especially about the gospel, what's true 718 00:25:37.019 --> 00:25:38.940 - and say it with love, and let them 719 00:25:38.940 --> 00:25:41.795 - have whether whatever reaction they're gonna have. Yeah. 720 00:25:41.795 --> 00:25:42.934 - Like, that's appropriate. 721 00:25:43.475 --> 00:25:45.154 - I mean, president Nelson talked about that when... 722 00:25:45.154 --> 00:25:47.795 - Like, when you were just explaining that talk 723 00:25:47.795 --> 00:25:50.115 - where someone felt that it was very myopic. 724 00:25:50.115 --> 00:25:52.695 - Right? And Yeah. How they were offended. But 725 00:25:52.960 --> 00:25:54.240 - that took them to a place that they 726 00:25:54.240 --> 00:25:56.640 - needed to be. You know? Yeah. That's really 727 00:25:56.640 --> 00:25:58.880 - good because, I mean, in short, you're kinda 728 00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:00.720 - saying just preach the gospel. Like, it's part 729 00:26:00.720 --> 00:26:02.640 - of the gospel. Like, preach it. Talk about 730 00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:04.799 - it. You know? Discuss it. And and there 731 00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.035 - is that way a leader feels of, like, 732 00:26:07.035 --> 00:26:08.554 - I I do wanna do a good job. 733 00:26:08.554 --> 00:26:10.234 - I want people to like me. I don't 734 00:26:10.234 --> 00:26:12.474 - wanna, you know, scare anybody from the church. 735 00:26:12.474 --> 00:26:14.474 - And so we... You know, in in various 736 00:26:14.474 --> 00:26:16.954 - context, we sort of adjust who we are 737 00:26:16.954 --> 00:26:18.779 - or what we say or, you know, walk 738 00:26:18.779 --> 00:26:20.940 - on eggshells here and Yeah. You know, and 739 00:26:20.940 --> 00:26:23.259 - when in reality, just, you know, teach the 740 00:26:23.259 --> 00:26:25.340 - gospel and... Because that's... When you're walking in 741 00:26:25.340 --> 00:26:27.420 - the church, that's sort of what you're... You 742 00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:29.500 - you can assume people are, in general, wanting 743 00:26:29.500 --> 00:26:30.240 - that. Right? 744 00:26:30.585 --> 00:26:32.904 - Not a customized message for them, but the 745 00:26:32.904 --> 00:26:35.544 - gospel. Right. And and I think offense is 746 00:26:35.544 --> 00:26:36.744 - such a big part. And so that's what 747 00:26:36.744 --> 00:26:38.105 - we would tell leaders. But, Ali, do you 748 00:26:38.105 --> 00:26:38.845 - kinda wanna 749 00:26:39.224 --> 00:26:41.384 - say what what we've said on the same 750 00:26:41.384 --> 00:26:43.384 - topic, but a different thing to the single 751 00:26:43.384 --> 00:26:46.044 - adults? Oh, with the About the two parts, 752 00:26:46.349 --> 00:26:48.910 - like how we can get through feeling offended. 753 00:26:48.910 --> 00:26:51.549 - I'm always liking the two parts. So do 754 00:26:51.549 --> 00:26:53.390 - you want me to talk about the president 755 00:26:53.390 --> 00:26:54.929 - Benson talk that... Okay. 756 00:26:55.309 --> 00:26:55.809 - So 757 00:26:56.190 --> 00:26:58.690 - in one of our episodes, I was reading 758 00:26:59.325 --> 00:27:01.644 - talk from president Benson that was to the 759 00:27:01.644 --> 00:27:02.625 - single sisters 760 00:27:03.244 --> 00:27:04.684 - in the world, or I don't know. Maybe 761 00:27:04.684 --> 00:27:06.284 - it's just to the single sisters, and he 762 00:27:06.284 --> 00:27:08.704 - also did one to the single brethren. 763 00:27:09.164 --> 00:27:09.664 - So 764 00:27:10.044 --> 00:27:11.105 - I get reading 765 00:27:11.644 --> 00:27:12.304 - the talk 766 00:27:12.700 --> 00:27:14.619 - just kind of in preparation of one of 767 00:27:14.619 --> 00:27:16.240 - our podcasts and 768 00:27:16.859 --> 00:27:18.940 - I got offended. I am like, you know, 769 00:27:18.940 --> 00:27:21.359 - because he started in on the... 770 00:27:22.059 --> 00:27:23.580 - I I wish I had it in front 771 00:27:23.580 --> 00:27:24.960 - of me so I don't 772 00:27:25.340 --> 00:27:28.515 - misquote. But what the feeling was because 773 00:27:29.054 --> 00:27:30.115 - I'm not sealed 774 00:27:30.414 --> 00:27:32.815 - to anyone and because I don't have a 775 00:27:32.815 --> 00:27:34.355 - celestial marriage that 776 00:27:34.654 --> 00:27:36.575 - I'm going to be in a lower kingdom 777 00:27:36.575 --> 00:27:38.355 - or I'm not going to be exalted, 778 00:27:38.894 --> 00:27:40.994 - all of that stuff. So I'm like, oh, 779 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:42.660 - okay, here we go again. 780 00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:44.960 - And I just wanted to, here we go, 781 00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:46.640 - this talk's just gonna be all about that. 782 00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:49.200 - And I'm none of that, so I'm never 783 00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:51.539 - going to go to the highest kingdom or 784 00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:52.340 - be exalted. 785 00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:54.900 - But then as I continued reading 786 00:27:55.914 --> 00:27:57.914 - as part two, so that was part one, 787 00:27:57.914 --> 00:28:00.474 - the offense, and I was just gonna blow 788 00:28:00.474 --> 00:28:02.095 - it off. And then part two was, 789 00:28:02.394 --> 00:28:03.934 - as I continued reading, 790 00:28:04.394 --> 00:28:06.255 - he emphasized and said, 791 00:28:06.875 --> 00:28:07.535 - no matter 792 00:28:08.039 --> 00:28:10.119 - where you are, what your status is, if 793 00:28:10.119 --> 00:28:11.960 - you've been married in the temple or not, 794 00:28:11.960 --> 00:28:14.119 - as long as I remain faithful and keep 795 00:28:14.119 --> 00:28:16.920 - my covenants, that I will have all of 796 00:28:16.920 --> 00:28:20.279 - the promised blessings that someone that did do 797 00:28:20.279 --> 00:28:22.545 - that. So if I would have stopped at 798 00:28:22.545 --> 00:28:24.144 - the first part, then I

would have been 799 00:28:24.144 --> 00:28:24.964 - bitter and 800 00:28:25.424 --> 00:28:27.525 - hung onto that, and oh, you know, 801 00:28:27.984 --> 00:28:29.904 - woe is me, all of that. But as 802 00:28:29.904 --> 00:28:31.125 - I continued reading, 803 00:28:31.904 --> 00:28:35.059 - then I'm like, okay, It's gonna be okay. 804 00:28:35.059 --> 00:28:36.980 - I'm going to just keep doing what you're 805 00:28:36.980 --> 00:28:37.480 - doing. 806 00:28:38.019 --> 00:28:40.980 - Keep, you know, trudging on, get it done, 807 00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:42.660 - do what you need to do, and you 808 00:28:42.660 --> 00:28:44.740 - will receive all of that. Maybe not in 809 00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:47.320 - this life, but at some point, I will 810 00:28:47.765 --> 00:28:49.705 - get my knight in shining armor 811 00:28:50.884 --> 00:28:52.424 - and be in the highest 812 00:28:52.725 --> 00:28:55.924 - kingdom. Right? I am. Yes. I'll bet on 813 00:28:55.924 --> 00:28:57.845 - that. If you stop too early, then you 814 00:28:57.845 --> 00:28:59.028 - would've... If I would've stopped too early, then 815 00:28:59.028 --> 00:29:00.190 - you would've never would've have felt that, like, 816 00:29:00.190 --> 00:29:00.690 - understanding 817 00:29:01.390 --> 00:29:03.150 - Yes. And let the offense just move you 818 00:29:03.150 --> 00:29:05.630 - away from what Yes. Was helpful. Yeah. I 819 00:29:05.630 --> 00:29:07.549 - did another part one and another part two, 820 00:29:07.549 --> 00:29:09.070 - but I don't know if you want me 821 00:29:09.070 --> 00:29:11.890 - to do that with just recently, personally, 822 00:29:12.670 --> 00:29:15.005 - that I did of... And I think it 823 00:29:15.005 --> 00:29:16.464 - would apply to... 824 00:29:16.845 --> 00:29:18.765 - I'm sure that a lot of... Let me 825 00:29:18.765 --> 00:29:19.904 - get my little number. 826 00:29:20.204 --> 00:29:22.365 - Can I do this really quick? Yeah. Okay. 827 00:29:22.365 --> 00:29:24.065 - So my part one was 828 00:29:24.365 --> 00:29:26.444 - just... And I put as my little thing, 829 00:29:26.444 --> 00:29:26.944 - dating, 830 00:29:27.244 --> 00:29:29.024 - man, marriage, and patience. 831 00:29:29.480 --> 00:29:31.559 - Okay, so my part one was why the 832 00:29:31.559 --> 00:29:33.640 - delay? So I'm asking the Lord why the 833 00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:34.140 - delay? 834 00:29:34.519 --> 00:29:35.820 - I see others 835 00:29:36.279 --> 00:29:38.839 - where they've been divorced or never, and they 836 00:29:38.839 --> 00:29:39.660 - find their 837 00:29:39.960 --> 00:29:42.839 - mate and live happily ever after. So why 838 00:29:42.839 --> 00:29:43.580 - not me? 839 00:29:44.134 --> 00:29:46.875 - The scriptures say, knock and ye shall receive. 840 00:29:46.934 --> 00:29:49.575 - So I've knocked, but I haven't received. So 841 00:29:49.575 --> 00:29:50.554 - where's the... 842 00:29:51.174 --> 00:29:53.754 - God has all power. He can do anything. 843 00:29:54.054 --> 00:29:54.875 - So

why 844 00:29:55.254 --> 00:29:57.335 - why not me? Why have I not do 845 00:29:57.335 --> 00:29:58.759 - it? This this is a long walk in 846 00:29:58.759 --> 00:30:00.679 - the desert, you know? I'm like, come on, 847 00:30:00.679 --> 00:30:01.659 - let's, you 848 00:30:01.960 --> 00:30:03.419 - know? Yeah. Then I said, 849 00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:06.759 - there has to be one or maybe even 850 00:30:06.759 --> 00:30:09.019 - two men on this entire planet 851 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:11.880 - for me. There there has to be. You 852 00:30:11.880 --> 00:30:13.694 - know what I mean? And then 853 00:30:14.095 --> 00:30:16.034 - I can do and accomplish 854 00:30:16.494 --> 00:30:18.815 - so much more if you just sent me 855 00:30:18.815 --> 00:30:20.494 - him. I could do so much more. You 856 00:30:20.494 --> 00:30:22.974 - need a sharper tool. Right? Yes. It's like, 857 00:30:22.974 --> 00:30:24.734 - oh, we could serve a mission. We could 858 00:30:24.734 --> 00:30:27.054 - do... I mean, I could have someone to, 859 00:30:27.375 --> 00:30:30.269 - study come follow me on Monday night. Would 860 00:30:30.269 --> 00:30:31.630 - you be better if you had that? Yeah. 861 00:30:31.630 --> 00:30:33.650 - Yes. And when I came home from, 862 00:30:33.950 --> 00:30:36.430 - honey, I'm home, I would have someone holler 863 00:30:36.430 --> 00:30:39.009 - back. I'm so glad you're here. Anyway, 864 00:30:39.309 --> 00:30:41.970 - and then one thing was, I'm scared, 865 00:30:42.335 --> 00:30:45.134 - I'm tired, I'm worried, and I'm a little 866 00:30:45.134 --> 00:30:45.954 - bit weary 867 00:30:46.335 --> 00:30:49.134 - of just thinking that do I have to 868 00:30:49.134 --> 00:30:51.795 - do this the rest of my life alone? 869 00:30:52.734 --> 00:30:53.875 - Then part two 870 00:30:54.255 --> 00:30:54.755 - was, 871 00:30:55.309 --> 00:30:57.009 - Ali, just let God prevail. 872 00:30:57.390 --> 00:30:57.890 - Let 873 00:30:58.349 --> 00:31:00.289 - him trust in him and his timing. 874 00:31:00.750 --> 00:31:03.089 - My patriarchal blessings says something beautiful 875 00:31:03.390 --> 00:31:06.190 - about putting my trust in him, and I 876 00:31:06.190 --> 00:31:07.970 - will be able to cope with the vicissitudes 877 00:31:08.269 --> 00:31:08.929 - of life. 878 00:31:09.345 --> 00:31:11.825 - And what is meant for me will not 879 00:31:11.825 --> 00:31:12.804 - pass me by. 880 00:31:13.184 --> 00:31:13.684 - So 881 00:31:14.065 --> 00:31:16.224 - if I stayed stuck on that part one 882 00:31:16.224 --> 00:31:18.785 - of why me, you know, why all of 883 00:31:18.785 --> 00:31:20.384 - that, but then when I go to the 884 00:31:20.384 --> 00:31:21.684 - part two of 885 00:31:22.140 --> 00:31:22.640 - understanding 886 00:31:22.940 --> 00:31:23.599 - and really 887 00:31:23.900 --> 00:31:26.940 - placing my faith in God, then I can 888 00:31:26.940 --> 00:31:28.940 - take a deep breath. I'm like, okay. It's 889 00:31:28.940 --> 00:31:31.339 - gonna be fine. Yeah. So... It's interesting as 890 00:31:31.339 --> 00:31:33.339 - you go through those because, I mean, that's 891 00:31:33.339 --> 00:31:35.820 - just a simple mortal experience. Right? And and, 892 00:31:35.820 --> 00:31:37.339 - of course, you're having these questions, but I'm 893 00:31:37.339 --> 00:31:39.234 - thinking of different struggles in my life right 894 00:31:39.234 --> 00:31:40.994 - now. And I'm approaching God with the same 895 00:31:40.994 --> 00:31:43.154 - of, hey. Aren't you all powerful? Or don't 896 00:31:43.154 --> 00:31:45.154 - you know how much effective of a disciple 897 00:31:45.154 --> 00:31:46.755 - I could be if you do just a 898 00:31:46.755 --> 00:31:48.914 - b c type of thing? Right? So it 899 00:31:48.914 --> 00:31:51.450 - really is interesting. It's it's so relatable as 900 00:31:51.450 --> 00:31:53.690 - as you say those things. Perfect example of... 901 00:31:53.690 --> 00:31:54.190 - Yeah. 902 00:31:54.730 --> 00:31:57.369 - Or an illustration that it doesn't matter what 903 00:31:57.369 --> 00:31:59.470 - the audience is. Right? It's it's the gospel. 904 00:31:59.609 --> 00:32:01.789 - And so glad to share that too. So 905 00:32:02.009 --> 00:32:03.849 - Kirk could experience that. Honestly, a lot of 906 00:32:03.849 --> 00:32:05.369 - the people that have told us they've listened 907 00:32:05.369 --> 00:32:07.615 - to the show are not single adults. We 908 00:32:07.615 --> 00:32:09.555 - hope they listen too. Yeah. 909 00:32:09.934 --> 00:32:12.494 - It it just... A conversation and trying to 910 00:32:12.494 --> 00:32:14.974 - learn from each other. Yeah. Yeah. And just 911 00:32:14.974 --> 00:32:18.414 - broadening everyone's perspective from either angle. I I 912 00:32:18.414 --> 00:32:21.650 - like that we get the singles people... Us 913 00:32:21.650 --> 00:32:24.210 - talking about it, but then getting the... Just 914 00:32:24.210 --> 00:32:26.049 - a broader... Because I don't know what it's 915 00:32:26.049 --> 00:32:28.390 - like to be a bishop and have those... 916 00:32:28.450 --> 00:32:30.049 - A single adult in your ward or be 917 00:32:30.049 --> 00:32:31.410 - a bishop of a young or a state 918 00:32:31.410 --> 00:32:33.544 - president and what their challenges 919 00:32:34.404 --> 00:32:36.804 - are from their perspective. So it's good as 920 00:32:36.804 --> 00:32:39.924 - a single person to know what they're faced 921 00:32:39.924 --> 00:32:41.365 - with and what they have to deal with. 922 00:32:41.365 --> 00:32:43.845 - And then as well as, oh, I didn't 923 00:32:43.845 --> 00:32:46.504 - think about that, you know, from their perspective 924 00:32:46.565 --> 00:32:48.799 - of how that might affect or, you know, 925 00:32:48.799 --> 00:32:51.119 - those types of things. So I think just 926 00:32:51.119 --> 00:32:51.619 - broadening 927 00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:53.759 - and just being able to talk about it, 928 00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:55.299 - I think is a super 929 00:32:55.759 -->

00:32:56.500 - good platform 930 00:32:56.960 --> 00:32:58.960 - for everyone to just go, oh, I never 931 00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:01.119 - thought of that before. Just having acknowledged, I 932 00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:03.085 - think does so much for a lot of 933 00:33:03.085 --> 00:33:05.164 - people. Yeah. I hope. And for a leader 934 00:33:05.164 --> 00:33:08.204 - to even create this scenario where they're either 935 00:33:08.204 --> 00:33:10.464 - sitting in your home sort of hearing that... 936 00:33:10.524 --> 00:33:13.244 - Hearing you unpack that experience and... Wow. Like, 937 00:33:13.244 --> 00:33:14.765 - I I feel like I know you more. 938 00:33:14.765 --> 00:33:16.384 - I can serve you better and 939 00:33:16.750 --> 00:33:18.929 - being more empathetic towards your experience. 940 00:33:19.470 --> 00:33:20.990 - And that's kinda what we want in a 941 00:33:20.990 --> 00:33:24.109 - faith community. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Logan, going back 942 00:33:24.109 --> 00:33:26.750 - to the... This concept of, like, you don't 943 00:33:26.750 --> 00:33:28.450 - want, like, a leader to 944 00:33:28.829 --> 00:33:31.424 - manipulate the message so that you feel uncomfortable 945 00:33:31.424 --> 00:33:33.345 - or or manipulate the gospel or or, you 946 00:33:33.345 --> 00:33:34.644 - know, structure it differently. 947 00:33:34.945 --> 00:33:36.724 - And I'm hearing more and more, like, 948 00:33:37.105 --> 00:33:39.585 - as I do a lot of interviews with, 949 00:33:39.585 --> 00:33:42.865 - you know, single adult bishops or leaders in 950 00:33:42.865 --> 00:33:45.279 - general. And it's sort of becoming the fad 951 00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:47.440 - now to say like, oh, we don't talk 952 00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:50.399 - about marriage. We talk about a relationship with 953 00:33:50.399 --> 00:33:52.159 - Jesus Christ. And sort of like... We see 954 00:33:52.159 --> 00:33:53.440 - we see that you're trying not to do 955 00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:54.960 - that. Right. But it's to the point where 956 00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:56.720 - I'm like, well, time out a minute. Like... 957 00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:59.644 - Yeah. The marriage in our context, it is 958 00:33:59.644 --> 00:34:01.725 - an ordinance, and it is something we can't 959 00:34:01.725 --> 00:34:03.805 - just forget about. Right? So we gotta talk 960 00:34:03.805 --> 00:34:05.644 - about it a little bit. Or, again, I 961 00:34:05.644 --> 00:34:07.085 - don't I don't think anybody should be the 962 00:34:07.085 --> 00:34:09.405 - bishop being like, alright. Brothers and sisters, who's 963 00:34:09.405 --> 00:34:10.684 - going on a date this weekend? And, you 964 00:34:10.684 --> 00:34:12.480 - know, we don't want that type of marriage 965 00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:14.480 - talk, but we shouldn't avoid it. Like, what 966 00:34:14.480 --> 00:34:16.260 - what comes to mind with that? 967 00:34:16.640 --> 00:34:19.039 - The perspective is so much broader. And so 968 00:34:19.039 --> 00:34:19.780 - if the... 969 00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:21.840 - If they're trying to protect us or our 970 00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:24.320 - feelings or suggest that we may not get 971 00:34:24.320 --> 00:34:26.164 - married in this life, so so it's best 972 00:34:26.164 --> 00:34:28.005 - not to think about that Mhmm. Then we're 973 00:34:28.005 --> 00:34:29.385 - not getting the perspective 974 00:34:29.684 --> 00:34:32.244 - that God isn't expecting that to happen for 975 00:34:32.244 --> 00:34:33.844 - everyone here. It doesn't have to happen for 976 00:34:33.844 --> 00:34:35.465 - everyone here. We can continue 977 00:34:35.925 --> 00:34:38.019 - building the kingdom of single adults, and we 978 00:34:38.019 --> 00:34:40.420 - can understand what exaltation means, and we can 979 00:34:40.420 --> 00:34:43.160 - understand what it means to be sealed, and 980 00:34:43.220 --> 00:34:44.740 - that we get to have that someday if 981 00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:47.539 - we just live our covenants. Yeah. And ignoring 982 00:34:47.539 --> 00:34:50.039 - that aspect of it feels like it's 983 00:34:50.644 --> 00:34:52.405 - it's only part of the gospel because it's 984 00:34:52.405 --> 00:34:54.644 - such a core part. Like Yeah. It's all 985 00:34:54.644 --> 00:34:57.204 - about family. Like, God is our father in 986 00:34:57.204 --> 00:34:59.684 - heaven, you know, and we wanna return to 987 00:34:59.684 --> 00:35:01.204 - him and we wanna gather the family of 988 00:35:01.204 --> 00:35:03.125 - God and we want our own families. And 989 00:35:03.125 --> 00:35:04.344 - all of that is possible. 990 00:35:04.804 --> 00:35:05.304 - And 991 00:35:05.940 --> 00:35:07.940 - just making sure that we understand that it... 992 00:35:07.940 --> 00:35:10.500 - If we just keep living righteously and the 993 00:35:10.500 --> 00:35:12.900 - best we can, those will all come. That 994 00:35:12.900 --> 00:35:14.199 - feels like it could be ignored 995 00:35:14.980 --> 00:35:17.460 - if you're not including that also. Yeah. And 996 00:35:17.460 --> 00:35:18.900 - that's a power... Like, you mentioned, that's a 997 00:35:18.900 --> 00:35:21.764 - powerful prophetic promise of it's not about, 998 00:35:22.065 --> 00:35:23.905 - you know, whether you're married this month or 999 00:35:23.905 --> 00:35:25.744 - next year or whatever. But, like, in the 1000 00:35:25.744 --> 00:35:27.905 - eternities, as you live righteously, you will have 1001 00:35:27.905 --> 00:35:30.144 - that promise. And who knows how the the 1002 00:35:30.144 --> 00:35:33.344 - math works or, you know, how many men 1003 00:35:33.344 --> 00:35:35.380 - are literally exist on the earth who ready... 1004 00:35:35.380 --> 00:35:37.039 - Who could be married now, but 1005 00:35:37.340 --> 00:35:39.019 - it will work out. Right? And to lean 1006 00:35:39.019 --> 00:35:41.579 - on that while still referencing the beauty of 1007 00:35:41.579 --> 00:35:42.079 - these 1008 00:35:42.619 --> 00:35:45.360 - marital covenants that we've...

That are available. 1009 00:35:45.739 --> 00:35:47.119 - It's so hopeful. 1010 00:35:47.739 --> 00:35:50.015 - That's what it brings. It, you know, when 1011 00:35:50.015 --> 00:35:51.934 - I stick with part one, I'm not very 1012 00:35:51.934 --> 00:35:52.434 - hopeful. 1013 00:35:52.894 --> 00:35:54.494 - But when I go to the part two, 1014 00:35:54.494 --> 00:35:55.474 - then I'm so 1015 00:35:55.855 --> 00:35:58.655 - hopeful. I'm like, thank you. I'm so glad 1016 00:35:58.655 --> 00:36:00.974 - that I have this, that whether it happens 1017 00:36:00.974 --> 00:36:03.235 - or not, that I have the hope of 1018 00:36:03.750 --> 00:36:05.210 - in the eternities that 1019 00:36:05.750 --> 00:36:08.710 - my knight in shining armor is... He's gonna 1020 00:36:08.710 --> 00:36:10.730 - be waiting there for me. You know? He's... 1021 00:36:10.789 --> 00:36:13.449 - My man will be there. I will. 1022 00:36:14.150 --> 00:36:15.769 - That's gonna be so good. It's gonna 1023 00:36:16.789 --> 00:36:17.690 - be so awesome. 1024 00:36:17.989 --> 00:36:19.565 - I... Oh, it's so good. 1025 00:36:20.744 --> 00:36:22.505 - So can I read a quick quote from 1026 00:36:22.505 --> 00:36:24.905 - president Ballard in the talk, Hope in Christ? 1027 00:36:24.905 --> 00:36:26.925 - He says this. He said, brothers and sisters, 1028 00:36:27.224 --> 00:36:28.905 - more than half of adults in the church 1029 00:36:28.905 --> 00:36:30.525 - today are widowed, divorced, 1030 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:33.480 - or not yet married. Some wonder about their 1031 00:36:33.480 --> 00:36:35.960 - opportunities and place in God's plan and in 1032 00:36:35.960 --> 00:36:38.599 - the church. We should understand that eternal life 1033 00:36:38.599 --> 00:36:40.920 - is not simply a question of current marital 1034 00:36:40.920 --> 00:36:43.880 - status, but of discipleship and being valiant in 1035 00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:46.394 - the testimony of Jesus. The hope of all 1036 00:36:46.394 --> 00:36:48.335 - who are single is the same 1037 00:36:48.635 --> 00:36:51.055 - for all members of the Lord's restored church, 1038 00:36:51.195 --> 00:36:53.614 - access to the grace of Christ through obedience 1039 00:36:54.235 --> 00:36:56.255 - to the laws and ordinances of the gospel. 1040 00:36:56.875 --> 00:36:57.375 - So 1041 00:36:57.675 --> 00:37:00.000 - that lets us know we don't need... We 1042 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:01.940 - do our best. We keep our covenants, 1043 00:37:03.119 --> 00:37:03.940 - and we strive 1044 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:04.739 - for... 1045 00:37:05.119 --> 00:37:06.960 - To fulfill a patriarchal blessing or do what's 1046 00:37:06.960 --> 00:37:08.739 - right here. But also 1047 00:37:09.039 --> 00:37:11.599 - trusting the Lord, believing that what he's saying 1048 00:37:11.599 --> 00:37:12.260 - is true, 1049 00:37:12.559 --> 00:37:14.559 - I think, is important for leaders and members 1050 00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:15.059 - to 1051 00:37:15.394 --> 00:37:17.734 - both realize and... You know? Yeah. 1052 00:37:18.195 --> 00:37:20.114 - Good stuff. Yeah. Well, and I think with 1053 00:37:20.114 --> 00:37:22.934 - that also is that that's applicable to everyone. 1054 00:37:23.635 --> 00:37:26.054 - That isn't just for single people. Every... 1055 00:37:26.355 --> 00:37:28.534 - Kurt, you need to fulfill that 1056 00:37:28.914 --> 00:37:29.414 - order. 1057 00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:32.039 - Your wife needs to fulfill that in order 1058 00:37:32.039 --> 00:37:34.219 - for you two to have that eternal 1059 00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:35.420 - unit 1060 00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:38.279 - when you die. So you have to keep 1061 00:37:38.279 --> 00:37:40.539 - your ordinances and covenants personally, 1062 00:37:40.839 --> 00:37:41.339 - singly 1063 00:37:41.719 --> 00:37:43.239 - as you. Yeah, just be my dad. And 1064 00:37:43.239 --> 00:37:45.905 - your wife has to also do that. And 1065 00:37:45.905 --> 00:37:47.844 - you guys are lucky enough that you're together 1066 00:37:47.905 --> 00:37:50.964 - working on that. But regardless those principles 1067 00:37:51.264 --> 00:37:52.964 - and that the requirements 1068 00:37:53.824 --> 00:37:54.964 - apply to you individually, 1069 00:37:55.264 --> 00:37:55.764 - not 1070 00:37:56.065 --> 00:37:58.820 - as a couple. So I think that's 1071 00:37:59.440 --> 00:37:59.940 - good 1072 00:38:00.320 --> 00:38:03.119 - for anyone to, you know, remember that, that 1073 00:38:03.119 --> 00:38:04.960 - it isn't just because you're married that you're 1074 00:38:04.960 --> 00:38:06.320 - gonna go to, you know, and you got 1075 00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:08.400 - married in the temple that you're automatically, it's 1076 00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:10.160 - a chew in that you're gonna be... Or 1077 00:38:10.160 --> 00:38:12.595 - that she'll drag me there. Yeah. Or that 1078 00:38:12.595 --> 00:38:14.595 - just made that you are married is is 1079 00:38:14.595 --> 00:38:17.155 - also an assumption because Right. Working for the 1080 00:38:17.155 --> 00:38:19.494 - church, there are so many singles 1081 00:38:19.875 --> 00:38:22.195 - in an environment like supporting the brethren and 1082 00:38:22.195 --> 00:38:23.015 - other leaders 1083 00:38:23.394 --> 00:38:24.914 - that couldn't do what they're doing if they 1084 00:38:24.914 --> 00:38:27.050 - had families. Some of the most talented, helpful 1085 00:38:27.050 --> 00:38:27.550 - people. 1086 00:38:27.929 --> 00:38:30.429 - And, like, seeing them, like, I know 1087 00:38:30.969 --> 00:38:33.530 - this is where God needs them. Like, in 1088 00:38:33.530 --> 00:38:36.329 - general, we understand, like, President Oaks just said, 1089 00:38:36.329 --> 00:38:38.650 - he gives general advice. He's a general authority. 1090 00:38:38.650 --> 00:38:40.670 - Right? This is the first prophet. 1091 00:38:41.184 --> 00:38:43.505 - But in general, yeah, we all need to 1092 00:38:43.505 --> 00:38:44.804 - be married, but also 1093 00:38:45.105 --> 00:38:46.964 -

there's need for people 1094 00:38:47.264 --> 00:38:49.364 - to serve different purposes here. And 1095 00:38:49.824 --> 00:38:52.244 - I believe it's part of God's plan to... 1096 00:38:52.385 --> 00:38:54.619 - Some of them aren't married here to help 1097 00:38:54.619 --> 00:38:57.579 - the kingdom be built. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. An 1098 00:38:57.579 --> 00:39:00.300 - example comes to mind is somewhat unrelated, but 1099 00:39:00.300 --> 00:39:02.300 - the same principle. I was watching this interview 1100 00:39:02.300 --> 00:39:03.760 - with this Protestant... 1101 00:39:04.460 --> 00:39:06.594 - I think he's a pastor, but he... He's 1102 00:39:06.594 --> 00:39:09.155 - an influencer. A protestant influencer does a podcast, 1103 00:39:09.155 --> 00:39:11.155 - and he was interviewing a stake president. This 1104 00:39:11.155 --> 00:39:12.375 - was during the San Diego 1105 00:39:12.835 --> 00:39:14.755 - Temple, you know, open house. And so he's 1106 00:39:14.755 --> 00:39:17.155 - interviewing the stake president, and he's basically said 1107 00:39:17.155 --> 00:39:18.434 - to the stake president, I've read the Book 1108 00:39:18.434 --> 00:39:20.355 - of Mormon. I've prayed about it. I did 1109 00:39:20.355 --> 00:39:22.329 - not get a witness. So what's with that? 1110 00:39:22.329 --> 00:39:25.530 - Right? And, you know, everybody would respond differently, 1111 00:39:25.530 --> 00:39:27.530 - but my response would have been, well, maybe 1112 00:39:27.530 --> 00:39:29.609 - God doesn't want you... Want that witness for 1113 00:39:29.609 --> 00:39:31.130 - you or want you to convert right now 1114 00:39:31.130 --> 00:39:32.750 - when you're having such an influence 1115 00:39:33.289 --> 00:39:35.815 - in the greater Christian world orienting people to 1116 00:39:35.815 --> 00:39:37.914 - Christ. Like, we we wanted to be, like, 1117 00:39:38.295 --> 00:39:40.614 - this black and white type of thing where 1118 00:39:40.614 --> 00:39:43.255 - someone could look at those church employees or 1119 00:39:43.255 --> 00:39:45.015 - you and be like, well, if you wanted 1120 00:39:45.015 --> 00:39:47.159 - it. Right? Like, if you really wanted it, 1121 00:39:47.239 --> 00:39:49.559 - you would have it. But, obviously, you haven't 1122 00:39:49.559 --> 00:39:51.400 - prayed enough or, you know, it's... When in 1123 00:39:51.400 --> 00:39:53.239 - reality, this... Just like you're talking about your 1124 00:39:53.239 --> 00:39:55.880 - experience, Logan, where you're going to the season 1125 00:39:55.880 --> 00:39:58.119 - like, alright. We're dating. You know? And it's 1126 00:39:58.119 --> 00:39:59.880 - not that you weren't praying for it before 1127 00:39:59.880 --> 00:40:01.275 - or you weren't... I don't know. It was. 1128 00:40:01.514 --> 00:40:02.815 - These are really complex 1129 00:40:03.434 --> 00:40:06.315 - experiences, right, that when you're invited into that, 1130 00:40:06.315 --> 00:40:08.335 - then you'll go. But for right now, that's... 1131 00:40:08.474 --> 00:40:10.234 - For an outsider, it'd be like, you would 1132 00:40:10.234 --> 00:40:11.295 - just be better, Logan. 1133 00:40:11.755 --> 00:40:13.855 - If you would just... You read what president... 1134 00:40:14.074 --> 00:40:16.639 - I think it's Ezra Taft Benson said about 1135 00:40:16.639 --> 00:40:18.239 - what you just said. Let's hear it. Yeah. 1136 00:40:18.239 --> 00:40:19.920 - I don't know. I'm going to misquote it. 1137 00:40:19.920 --> 00:40:21.839 - I... It may even actually have been Kimball. 1138 00:40:21.839 --> 00:40:22.339 - I... 1139 00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:26.319 - But... One of those prophets. I'm gonna... She 1140 00:40:26.319 --> 00:40:28.079 - was the eighties. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. She 1141 00:40:28.079 --> 00:40:28.900 - said I don't remember. 1142 00:40:29.199 --> 00:40:29.699 - And... 1143 00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:32.375 - No. But said that it's possible that people 1144 00:40:32.375 --> 00:40:34.315 - are shielded from the gospel in this life 1145 00:40:34.454 --> 00:40:36.295 - because they can do more good outside the 1146 00:40:36.295 --> 00:40:38.295 - church than in. Mhmm. Yeah. And so we 1147 00:40:38.295 --> 00:40:40.775 - can't assume that everyone that isn't part of 1148 00:40:40.775 --> 00:40:43.014 - the gospel here, that that's not part of 1149 00:40:43.014 --> 00:40:45.829 - the design too. Yeah. And that's... We kinda 1150 00:40:45.829 --> 00:40:48.150 - have faith in everybody's journey that... Because there 1151 00:40:48.150 --> 00:40:49.910 - is that temptation as a leader. You feel 1152 00:40:49.910 --> 00:40:52.630 - like, wasn't my job to kinda, you know, 1153 00:40:52.630 --> 00:40:54.390 - tighten the screws a little bit on on 1154 00:40:54.390 --> 00:40:56.469 - Logan and be like, hey, man. Come on. 1155 00:40:56.469 --> 00:40:58.394 - Yeah. Is it about time? You know? But 1156 00:40:58.474 --> 00:41:00.715 - just to respect everybody's journey, and that becomes 1157 00:41:00.715 --> 00:41:02.635 - difficult whether it's a leader or a parent 1158 00:41:02.635 --> 00:41:05.755 - or a sibling. Right? So That's it. Respect 1159 00:41:05.755 --> 00:41:08.235 - everyone's journey. Right? And I think that comes 1160 00:41:08.235 --> 00:41:11.195 - by asking questions and understanding others, and that's 1161 00:41:11.195 --> 00:41:12.175 - how you can respect 1162 00:41:12.635 --> 00:41:13.135 - others, 1163 00:41:13.489 --> 00:41:14.929 - what they're going through. And that's how you 1164 00:41:14.929 --> 00:41:16.609 - understand the savior also. That's how you get 1165 00:41:16.609 --> 00:41:18.929 - to know anything or anyone. Yeah. And it 1166 00:41:18.929 --> 00:41:21.329 - is like... Because if someone's asked me, is 1167 00:41:21.329 --> 00:41:21.909 - the ideal 1168 00:41:22.530 --> 00:41:24.049 - husband and wife married and still in the 1169 00:41:24.049 --> 00:41:25.829 - temple? Yes. Yes. It's the ideal. 1170 00:41:26.130 --> 00:41:27.730 - Does that

mean Logan must do that this 1171 00:41:27.730 --> 00:41:29.054 - week? Well, I don't know. Like, that's up 1172 00:41:29.054 --> 00:41:30.815 - to you.... Mean that I'm doing something wrong 1173 00:41:30.815 --> 00:41:32.734 - right now. Right. Yeah. Right. And so that's 1174 00:41:32.734 --> 00:41:34.894 - the nuance there. Right? That you can still 1175 00:41:34.894 --> 00:41:37.315 - hold on to, like, gospel principles and ideals 1176 00:41:38.014 --> 00:41:41.714 - while recognizing diversity of life experiences and everybody's 1177 00:41:41.934 --> 00:41:42.914 - striving for 1178 00:41:43.230 --> 00:41:45.070 - those invitations that god's putting in it. And 1179 00:41:45.070 --> 00:41:46.110 - we may get to the other side and 1180 00:41:46.110 --> 00:41:48.190 - be like, oh, no. Like, Logan was doing... 1181 00:41:48.190 --> 00:41:49.949 - You know, Ali was doing exact... Was on 1182 00:41:49.949 --> 00:41:52.050 - the path that I wanted them on 1183 00:41:52.429 --> 00:41:53.869 - because look at a, b, c, d, e, 1184 00:41:53.869 --> 00:41:55.630 - you know, with all these reasons and be 1185 00:41:55.630 --> 00:41:58.155 - like, oh, okay. And the eternity's... It's a 1186 00:41:58.155 --> 00:41:59.914 - long game. Right? That... That's why you can 1187 00:41:59.914 --> 00:42:01.055 - hold on to those promises. 1188 00:42:01.835 --> 00:42:04.474 - Well, and I pray for that every day. 1189 00:42:04.474 --> 00:42:05.614 - Help me to know 1190 00:42:06.155 --> 00:42:07.775 - that what I'm doing, 1191 00:42:08.235 --> 00:42:11.769 - I'm fulfilling my divine purpose. I'm fulfilling what 1192 00:42:11.769 --> 00:42:14.510 - you have sent me here to do. What, 1193 00:42:14.569 --> 00:42:15.710 - you know, that I 1194 00:42:16.170 --> 00:42:17.869 - am doing all the things. 1195 00:42:18.170 --> 00:42:20.109 - And if it's being single and 1196 00:42:20.409 --> 00:42:22.969 - fulfilling that, but please help me to know. 1197 00:42:22.969 --> 00:42:23.710 - Guide me 1198 00:42:24.184 --> 00:42:26.664 - to be the best version of myself while 1199 00:42:26.664 --> 00:42:28.425 - I'm in the state that I'm in, whatever. 1200 00:42:28.425 --> 00:42:30.025 - And if I'm single the rest of my 1201 00:42:30.025 --> 00:42:32.585 - life, just help me to be the best 1202 00:42:32.585 --> 00:42:35.005 - version and the best disciple of Christ 1203 00:42:35.704 --> 00:42:38.025 - and help me just to know that I'm 1204 00:42:38.025 --> 00:42:39.869 - fulfilling my purpose 1205 00:42:40.170 --> 00:42:42.409 - of what I'm... Was sent here to do. 1206 00:42:42.409 --> 00:42:45.710 - So that helps me to kinda keep where, 1207 00:42:46.010 --> 00:42:47.609 - you know, I need to be or, you 1208 00:42:47.609 --> 00:42:49.389 - know, my sights on 1209 00:42:50.010 --> 00:42:53.114 - it's okay. Just keep doing what you're doing. 1210 00:42:54.054 --> 00:42:55.734 - So... Great. And as a single, I think 1211 00:42:55.734 --> 00:42:57.974 - where I get caught up the most is 1212 00:42:57.974 --> 00:43:00.154 - waiting for life to begin. Like, that's... 1213 00:43:00.454 --> 00:43:01.914 - Like, it'll begin once 1214 00:43:02.214 --> 00:43:04.920 - I'm married or then, you know, I can 1215 00:43:05.000 --> 00:43:06.731 - go on a mission with my spouse later 1216 00:43:06.731 --> 00:43:08.463 - in life where I can plan for these 1217 00:43:08.463 --> 00:43:11.079 - things or I can start contributing to church. 1218 00:43:11.079 --> 00:43:12.139 - Like, I think that's 1219 00:43:12.519 --> 00:43:14.519 - I... Both sides, like leaders and people who 1220 00:43:14.519 --> 00:43:15.739 - are married and singles, 1221 00:43:16.039 --> 00:43:18.119 - all kind of have that share that kind 1222 00:43:18.119 --> 00:43:20.714 - of feeling sometimes where, well, once you're 1223 00:43:21.175 --> 00:43:22.934 - married, then we can start contribute or you 1224 00:43:22.934 --> 00:43:23.835 - can be included 1225 00:43:25.094 --> 00:43:28.214 - wholly. Yeah. That's great. Any other guiding principles 1226 00:43:28.214 --> 00:43:30.054 - that we haven't hit on or we wanna 1227 00:43:30.054 --> 00:43:31.894 - make sure we cover for for church leaders? 1228 00:43:31.894 --> 00:43:34.940 - Or... We're there to not give all answers 1229 00:43:34.940 --> 00:43:36.719 - either, but just to have, like, a conversation, 1230 00:43:36.859 --> 00:43:40.699 - make it authentic, and to, like, us and 1231 00:43:40.699 --> 00:43:43.819 - the guests and and to find answers together 1232 00:43:43.819 --> 00:43:45.839 - or learn from each other's experiences 1233 00:43:46.625 --> 00:43:47.125 - and, 1234 00:43:47.585 --> 00:43:50.164 - yeah, have a better understanding. Like, Ally 1235 00:43:50.784 --> 00:43:52.864 - has... Had been such a great help during 1236 00:43:52.864 --> 00:43:54.964 - this whole process, helping me understand 1237 00:43:55.505 --> 00:43:57.184 - if this is nothing more than her and 1238 00:43:57.184 --> 00:43:59.204 - I walking away with this than getting 1239 00:43:59.639 --> 00:44:01.639 - understanding things better, and no one has listened 1240 00:44:01.639 --> 00:44:02.460 - to the show. 1241 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:03.880 - By the way, I think we have a 1242 00:44:03.880 --> 00:44:05.980 - baker's dozen now who's heard it. Yeah. 1243 00:44:06.839 --> 00:44:09.239 - If it's just this experience has actually already 1244 00:44:09.239 --> 00:44:11.659 - been worth it for us at least, because 1245 00:44:12.039 --> 00:44:12.539 - genuinely, 1246 00:44:13.055 --> 00:44:15.474 - there's just these conversations just have helped us 1247 00:44:16.015 --> 00:44:17.454 - to me to grow and learn. And I 1248 00:44:17.454 --> 00:44:19.375 - don't wanna speak for you, but they've had 1249 00:44:19.375 --> 00:44:20.595 - some good outcomes. 1250 00:44:21.375 --> 00:44:22.994 - Well, and I think also, 1251 00:44:23.695 --> 00:44:25.775 - I don't work down at the church, but 1252 00:44:25.775 --> 00:44:26.515 - you do. 1253

00:44:26.849 --> 00:44:29.430 - And you have said there's some momentum 1254 00:44:29.809 --> 00:44:32.150 - that's growing around this. I think 1255 00:44:32.450 --> 00:44:33.110 - the brethren 1256 00:44:33.489 --> 00:44:34.150 - are realizing 1257 00:44:34.769 --> 00:44:37.030 - that it's such a big percentage and 1258 00:44:37.329 --> 00:44:40.610 - to kinda broaden their focus also. So it's, 1259 00:44:40.610 --> 00:44:42.684 - I think, in that light, it's 1260 00:44:43.065 --> 00:44:43.565 - hopefully 1261 00:44:43.864 --> 00:44:46.525 - helpful from that perspective too. It's just that 1262 00:44:46.824 --> 00:44:49.625 - there is a huge percentage of the the 1263 00:44:49.625 --> 00:44:52.125 - members of the church that are single and 1264 00:44:52.585 --> 00:44:54.664 - not that we've been ignored, but it can't 1265 00:44:54.664 --> 00:44:56.699 - be ignored or let's, you know, what are 1266 00:44:56.699 --> 00:44:59.739 - ways that we can make everybody's experience better 1267 00:44:59.739 --> 00:45:02.239 - or if they focused in the past on 1268 00:45:02.300 --> 00:45:04.000 - more of the marriage stuff, maybe, 1269 00:45:04.300 --> 00:45:06.300 - you know, I I don't know from... Because 1270 00:45:06.300 --> 00:45:08.300 - I don't... But the timing...... Them. I mean, 1271 00:45:08.300 --> 00:45:10.239 - the time time matters. Right? And there's just... 1272 00:45:10.325 --> 00:45:12.805 - This is just my perception, but there seems 1273 00:45:12.805 --> 00:45:13.785 - to be a momentum 1274 00:45:14.244 --> 00:45:16.805 - just starting to build right now. It's in 1275 00:45:16.805 --> 00:45:19.125 - fact, right when we... After we got to 1276 00:45:19.125 --> 00:45:20.905 - the first show, then 1277 00:45:21.204 --> 00:45:23.445 - somehow doors open wide and everyone was willing 1278 00:45:23.445 --> 00:45:25.519 - to be a guest on the show. And 1279 00:45:25.820 --> 00:45:27.739 - a member of the seventy pulled me aside, 1280 00:45:27.739 --> 00:45:29.340 - said, hey, I heard your show. Can we 1281 00:45:29.340 --> 00:45:31.579 - talk about these things that I think may 1282 00:45:31.579 --> 00:45:34.059 - need to be adjusted? And, like, all these 1283 00:45:34.059 --> 00:45:36.140 - opportunities are starting to come up in this, 1284 00:45:36.140 --> 00:45:37.840 - like, wave where, 1285 00:45:38.275 --> 00:45:39.875 - again, if if we started this for no 1286 00:45:39.875 --> 00:45:42.275 - other reason than just finding these opportunities to 1287 00:45:42.275 --> 00:45:44.195 - kind of see where we can help and... 1288 00:45:44.195 --> 00:45:46.514 - Or or what can be different, it's been 1289 00:45:46.514 --> 00:45:48.594 - amazing. Like... But there's definitely a momentum that 1290 00:45:48.594 --> 00:45:49.094 - feels 1291 00:45:49.715 --> 00:45:51.954 - is happening with this topic and this group. 1292 00:45:51.954 --> 00:45:53.175 - Yeah. That's great. 1293 00:45:53.760 --> 00:45:54.579 - Are there any 1294 00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:56.880 - specific type of, like, are you always going 1295 00:45:56.880 --> 00:45:58.079 - to have a guest or is it mainly 1296 00:45:58.079 --> 00:46:01.039 - just the same typical panel talking about a 1297 00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:02.640 - certain subject or I was going to do 1298 00:46:02.640 --> 00:46:04.159 - a one woman show at one time? Okay. 1299 00:46:04.159 --> 00:46:05.219 - So that's the monologue. 1300 00:46:08.614 --> 00:46:09.654 - I'll tell you why we had, why we 1301 00:46:09.654 --> 00:46:11.255 - had a leader at all at first. I 1302 00:46:11.255 --> 00:46:13.014 - couldn't find anyone initially to be on the 1303 00:46:13.014 --> 00:46:14.954 - show who's a single adult. Oh, really? 1304 00:46:15.734 --> 00:46:17.335 - Because I don't go to a singles ward, 1305 00:46:17.335 --> 00:46:19.174 - don't know many, and anyone I asked was 1306 00:46:19.174 --> 00:46:21.174 - like, I don't know. I like to keep 1307 00:46:21.174 --> 00:46:23.574 - it myself. Thank you. So my brother-in-law is, 1308 00:46:23.574 --> 00:46:25.280 - is a stake president. And I said, will 1309 00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:26.400 - you just be on it? Because we need 1310 00:46:26.400 --> 00:46:28.200 - a third. It feels better with a third. 1311 00:46:28.200 --> 00:46:30.320 - And he came. And then after that first 1312 00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:31.539 - episode, we're like, 1313 00:46:32.159 --> 00:46:34.159 - this... We can do this. This is meaningful. 1314 00:46:34.159 --> 00:46:36.079 - Like, having that. And that's kinda why we 1315 00:46:36.079 --> 00:46:37.300 - started really 1316 00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:41.074 - adding a leader or someone who's married. And 1317 00:46:41.074 --> 00:46:42.675 - I I think we may have a lot 1318 00:46:42.675 --> 00:46:45.255 - of regulars come, may have special guests. 1319 00:46:45.714 --> 00:46:48.275 - It's... We're defining it now. But what what 1320 00:46:48.275 --> 00:46:50.835 - we've kind of started with with, like, three 1321 00:46:50.835 --> 00:46:52.534 - or four people just discussing 1322 00:46:52.914 --> 00:46:54.119 - this different 1323 00:46:54.579 --> 00:46:56.579 - concepts of the gospel or different elements of 1324 00:46:56.579 --> 00:46:58.820 - the single adult experience seem to be working, 1325 00:46:58.820 --> 00:47:01.219 - or kind of, like, honing it. But... Well, 1326 00:47:01.219 --> 00:47:01.880 - and what's 1327 00:47:02.260 --> 00:47:03.880 - great is the the person 1328 00:47:04.500 --> 00:47:07.315 - that we have on, they have a perspective 1329 00:47:07.375 --> 00:47:08.974 - that we don't know about, and we have 1330 00:47:08.974 --> 00:47:10.815 - a perspective that they don't. So it's fun 1331 00:47:10.815 --> 00:47:12.594 - to just sit and talk about 1332 00:47:12.974 --> 00:47:15.795 - each other's perspectives of, you know, 1333 00:47:16.174 --> 00:47:17.554 - their experience and 1334 00:47:17.869 --> 00:47:20.190 - how they saw things and maybe we can 1335 00:47:20.190 -->

00:47:22.030 - agree on stuff. And then I've never thought 1336 00:47:22.030 --> 00:47:23.949 - of that before. You know, Logan and I 1337 00:47:23.949 --> 00:47:26.269 - have, when they've brought things up or we've 1338 00:47:26.269 --> 00:47:28.510 - said things and they've come back and said 1339 00:47:28.510 --> 00:47:30.289 - that was something that I had never 1340 00:47:30.590 --> 00:47:33.034 - had crossed my mind. So I like 1341 00:47:33.494 --> 00:47:34.155 - that it's 1342 00:47:34.694 --> 00:47:35.194 - pretty 1343 00:47:35.655 --> 00:47:38.295 - diverse in, you know, their experiences and ours 1344 00:47:38.295 --> 00:47:41.335 - and just having everyone's perspective put on the 1345 00:47:41.335 --> 00:47:43.894 - table and talked about. One of my favorite 1346 00:47:43.894 --> 00:47:45.655 - things that just happened on our show, we 1347 00:47:45.655 --> 00:47:48.380 - had this guy on named, Ryan Eggett, and 1348 00:47:48.380 --> 00:47:49.119 - he is 1349 00:47:49.420 --> 00:47:52.059 - working on the new handbook. Oh, yeah. And 1350 00:47:52.059 --> 00:47:53.039 - he's married. 1351 00:47:53.500 --> 00:47:55.099 - And Allie had recently said to me, she 1352 00:47:55.099 --> 00:47:55.599 - said, 1353 00:47:56.139 --> 00:47:58.880 - during singles conferences, I don't know why 1354 00:47:59.344 --> 00:48:00.944 - they have people speak who are married, who 1355 00:48:00.944 --> 00:48:02.724 - have never really had this single experience. 1356 00:48:03.505 --> 00:48:05.424 - Why do they do that? And, like, within 1357 00:48:05.424 --> 00:48:07.424 - a day, I see that Ryan Eggert, this 1358 00:48:07.424 --> 00:48:09.824 - married man, was gonna speak at, like, the 1359 00:48:09.824 --> 00:48:11.984 - single adult conference. So when we had him 1360 00:48:11.984 --> 00:48:14.210 - on, I went to, back to my reality 1361 00:48:14.210 --> 00:48:17.010 - TV show producing roots and had them confront 1362 00:48:17.010 --> 00:48:18.309 - each other. I just, 1363 00:48:18.929 --> 00:48:21.010 - I said, you just said, why are these 1364 00:48:21.010 --> 00:48:23.329 - married people speaking? Right. You're married. And you 1365 00:48:23.329 --> 00:48:25.589 - felt like you wanted to speak. 1366 00:48:26.015 --> 00:48:28.255 - Why? And it was just awesome conversation of 1367 00:48:28.255 --> 00:48:28.755 - understanding 1368 00:48:29.454 --> 00:48:31.394 - of how he kind of came to found... 1369 00:48:31.695 --> 00:48:33.535 - There was a real desire to serve this 1370 00:48:33.535 --> 00:48:34.035 - group. 1371 00:48:34.414 --> 00:48:36.195 - And, actually, like, it helped me understand, 1372 00:48:36.574 --> 00:48:38.414 - it's nice to have an advocate who isn't 1373 00:48:38.414 --> 00:48:40.255 - single too because they can speak in a 1374 00:48:40.255 --> 00:48:41.780 - way that doesn't feel... 1375 00:48:42.079 --> 00:48:43.920 - Could feel self centered coming from me, you 1376 00:48:43.920 --> 00:48:46.160 - know? But for him, it's just motivated by 1377 00:48:46.160 --> 00:48:48.480 - wanting to help someone. Yeah. It was a 1378 00:48:48.480 --> 00:48:50.400 - neat dynamic to see that and how it 1379 00:48:50.400 --> 00:48:50.900 - unfolded. 1380 00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:53.840 - Yeah. It wasn't as controversial as more or 1381 00:48:53.840 --> 00:48:54.340 - something. 1382 00:48:55.074 --> 00:48:57.315 - Yeah. It'll get there. Maybe you're so 50.... 1383 00:48:57.315 --> 00:48:58.135 - Feeling that. 1384 00:48:59.795 --> 00:49:02.355 - Oh, man. And I'm curious just... The few 1385 00:49:02.355 --> 00:49:03.875 - things have come up. Like, if you're, you 1386 00:49:03.875 --> 00:49:04.695 - know, we're kinda 1387 00:49:05.074 --> 00:49:07.474 - targeting a a leadership audience, but I'm thinking, 1388 00:49:07.474 --> 00:49:08.855 - like, a singles audience. 1389 00:49:09.489 --> 00:49:11.170 - A few things like as far as, you 1390 00:49:11.170 --> 00:49:13.250 - know, some people can define their life about 1391 00:49:13.250 --> 00:49:16.210 - finding their partner. Like, it's all consuming. Right? 1392 00:49:16.210 --> 00:49:18.530 - And then Logan, you talk about some... Or 1393 00:49:18.530 --> 00:49:21.570 - can maybe get... They enjoy being alone so 1394 00:49:21.570 --> 00:49:23.349 - much that it turns into seclusion, 1395 00:49:24.074 --> 00:49:26.315 - And they're they're separate so much from community, 1396 00:49:26.315 --> 00:49:27.835 - and that can kinda be negative. Is there 1397 00:49:27.835 --> 00:49:29.355 - anything else you would say to a singles 1398 00:49:29.355 --> 00:49:31.994 - audience or or some general principles that you're 1399 00:49:31.994 --> 00:49:34.315 - maybe gonna touch on throughout your your podcast 1400 00:49:34.315 --> 00:49:34.815 - journey 1401 00:49:35.195 --> 00:49:36.815 - that maybe some typical 1402 00:49:37.195 --> 00:49:39.214 - pitfalls that they trip into? 1403 00:49:39.890 --> 00:49:41.809 - By default, it can be a very selfish 1404 00:49:41.809 --> 00:49:44.070 - lifestyle. So I now worry after twelve years, 1405 00:49:44.530 --> 00:49:45.829 - getting married again, 1406 00:49:46.210 --> 00:49:47.030 - I've just... 1407 00:49:47.329 --> 00:49:49.010 - I can eat whenever I want. I can 1408 00:49:49.010 --> 00:49:50.849 - do whatever I want. I can go to 1409 00:49:50.849 --> 00:49:52.545 - church if I want. I have all the 1410 00:49:52.545 --> 00:49:53.824 - lights on the house all the time. Like, 1411 00:49:53.824 --> 00:49:55.525 - these are all my decisions. Right? 1412 00:49:55.824 --> 00:49:58.144 - And now when someone else comes aboard, like, 1413 00:49:58.144 --> 00:50:00.784 - I've practiced being selfish for so long. I'm 1414 00:50:00.784 --> 00:50:01.284 - worried 1415 00:50:01.824 --> 00:50:03.744 - what just that's gonna be like. Like, that's 1416 00:50:03.744 --> 00:50:05.045 - a real concern. And 1417 00:50:05.750 --> 00:50:07.829 - two of our guests have said something that 1418 00:50:07.829 -->

00:50:09.210 - has helped me were 1419 00:50:09.510 --> 00:50:12.329 - related to their living their life now 1420 00:50:12.869 --> 00:50:14.710 - so it won't have to be changed when 1421 00:50:14.710 --> 00:50:17.109 - they're married. Mhmm. They won't have to start 1422 00:50:17.109 --> 00:50:18.150 - going to church all of a sudden. They 1423 00:50:18.150 --> 00:50:19.934 - won't have to start doing things. So if 1424 00:50:19.934 --> 00:50:22.494 - there's anything I would... Like, anything I've learned 1425 00:50:22.494 --> 00:50:24.575 - as a single adult that hopefully, you know, 1426 00:50:24.575 --> 00:50:25.954 - could be helpful is just 1427 00:50:26.575 --> 00:50:27.474 - thinking about 1428 00:50:27.775 --> 00:50:29.635 - what you can do today that 1429 00:50:29.934 --> 00:50:30.434 - wouldn't 1430 00:50:30.974 --> 00:50:33.075 - need to be changed once you're with someone 1431 00:50:33.449 --> 00:50:34.809 - and the kind of person you wanna be 1432 00:50:34.809 --> 00:50:36.969 - with. You know? Just the person you have 1433 00:50:36.969 --> 00:50:37.550 - in mind. 1434 00:50:37.929 --> 00:50:40.329 - How can you start helping them now even 1435 00:50:40.329 --> 00:50:43.050 - before you meet them, I guess? Yeah. That's 1436 00:50:43.050 --> 00:50:45.130 - a great, great perspective. Any... Anything to add 1437 00:50:45.130 --> 00:50:47.130 - to that, Elliot? Don't get stuck in part 1438 00:50:47.130 --> 00:50:49.664 - one. Yeah. When you get offended, don't get 1439 00:50:49.664 --> 00:50:50.805 - stuck there. Just 1440 00:50:51.425 --> 00:50:52.164 - be hopeful. 1441 00:50:52.865 --> 00:50:54.005 - That would be my... 1442 00:50:54.625 --> 00:50:56.785 - Just don't get stuck on that part one, 1443 00:50:56.785 --> 00:50:59.445 - whatever that is that offends you or, 1444 00:50:59.744 --> 00:51:01.640 - you know, I don't know if offend is 1445 00:51:01.640 --> 00:51:04.360 - a good word, but that hits your heart 1446 00:51:04.360 --> 00:51:05.739 - or, you know, kinda, 1447 00:51:06.200 --> 00:51:07.820 - you know, turns the dagger, 1448 00:51:08.599 --> 00:51:11.480 - don't stay stuck there. Find ways to find 1449 00:51:11.480 --> 00:51:14.920 - hope in that hard part that is... That's 1450 00:51:14.920 --> 00:51:16.775 - hard for you. Yeah. It's hard 1451 00:51:17.554 --> 00:51:19.795 - for you thinking, oh, I'll never get to 1452 00:51:19.795 --> 00:51:22.114 - the celestial kingdom because I'm... You know, those 1453 00:51:22.114 --> 00:51:24.855 - types of things just don't get stuck there. 1454 00:51:24.994 --> 00:51:27.074 - Go find a talk where it is hopeful, 1455 00:51:27.074 --> 00:51:28.054 - where it is, 1456 00:51:28.539 --> 00:51:31.500 - you know, you will have all the things 1457 00:51:31.500 --> 00:51:33.579 - that God... As long as you remain faithful, 1458 00:51:33.579 --> 00:51:35.359 - just so that would be 1459 00:51:35.819 --> 00:51:36.319 - my 1460 00:51:36.619 --> 00:51:37.119 - advice. 1461 00:51:37.739 --> 00:51:39.759 - Just don't get stuck there. 1462 00:51:40.299 --> 00:51:42.219 - And that... If I can tack onto that 1463 00:51:42.219 --> 00:51:44.079 - a little, it reminds me of just 1464 00:51:44.644 --> 00:51:46.724 - not beating yourself up if you feel angry. 1465 00:51:46.724 --> 00:51:49.045 - Like, let yourself experience what you're feeling. Like, 1466 00:51:49.045 --> 00:51:51.144 - if you feel like you're upset about something, 1467 00:51:51.445 --> 00:51:54.164 - and then you start feeling bad because it's 1468 00:51:54.164 --> 00:51:56.405 - wrong too. I mean, it's different being upset 1469 00:51:56.405 --> 00:51:57.864 - with God versus being 1470 00:51:58.219 --> 00:52:01.039 - frustrated and upset and wondering why. Like, you 1471 00:52:01.179 --> 00:52:04.079 - can... You would go through an honest, genuine 1472 00:52:04.139 --> 00:52:05.519 - kind of frustration 1473 00:52:06.380 --> 00:52:08.880 - and still be just tethered to God. 1474 00:52:09.659 --> 00:52:12.714 - Yeah. Really fascinating. And your... These concepts, I 1475 00:52:12.714 --> 00:52:14.655 - mean, they just sort of have a way 1476 00:52:14.875 --> 00:52:16.635 - of making me reflect on my own journey 1477 00:52:16.635 --> 00:52:19.275 - where, you know, I hope I hope, you 1478 00:52:19.275 --> 00:52:20.574 - know, I have a long 1479 00:52:20.875 --> 00:52:23.434 - relationship with my wife and we die on 1480 00:52:23.434 --> 00:52:25.114 - the same age or the same day of 1481 00:52:25.114 --> 00:52:27.135 - a 101 years old or whatever. Right? 1482 00:52:27.590 --> 00:52:29.750 - But I think of myself, like, if I 1483 00:52:29.750 --> 00:52:31.449 - was, suddenly single, 1484 00:52:31.989 --> 00:52:33.429 - am I too used to being married? And 1485 00:52:33.429 --> 00:52:34.789 - what I mean by that is am I 1486 00:52:34.789 --> 00:52:37.030 - so dependent on my... The existence of having 1487 00:52:37.030 --> 00:52:38.789 - companionship? Because I'm sure you see it in 1488 00:52:38.789 --> 00:52:41.085 - the single scene where someone gets divorced and 1489 00:52:41.085 --> 00:52:43.085 - they jump so quickly back into a relationship 1490 00:52:43.085 --> 00:52:45.484 - because they need someone, right, to function or 1491 00:52:45.484 --> 00:52:47.664 - to exist and and then that just kinda 1492 00:52:47.885 --> 00:52:50.605 - self destructs so quickly. Right? And so what 1493 00:52:50.605 --> 00:52:52.525 - am I doing in the context of marriage 1494 00:52:52.525 --> 00:52:55.885 - so that I'm dependent on my savior in 1495 00:52:55.885 --> 00:52:57.940 - a way that if that did happen, I'm 1496 00:52:57.940 --> 00:52:59.219 - I'm okay. You know, I can take it 1497 00:52:59.219 --> 00:53:00.820 - slow. I don't need, you know, the cold 1498 00:53:00.820 --> 00:53:01.320 - codependency 1499 00:53:02.019 --> 00:53:04.420 - dynamic that we're always struggling with as as 1500 00:53:04.420 --> 00:53:06.900 - humans that we need people, but we we 1501

00:53:06.900 --> 00:53:08.739 - can't be overly dependent on them or we 1502 00:53:08.739 --> 00:53:11.534 - need certain situations, but we can't be dependent 1503 00:53:11.534 --> 00:53:13.295 - on it. Right? So it's really, really fascinating. 1504 00:53:13.295 --> 00:53:14.815 - It's interest... I never thought it would be 1505 00:53:14.815 --> 00:53:17.135 - the other way where if you became single, 1506 00:53:17.135 --> 00:53:18.335 - what can you do now in your marriage 1507 00:53:18.335 --> 00:53:20.255 - that can strengthen you to stay? That would 1508 00:53:20.255 --> 00:53:22.494 - be wild. That's interesting. Go wild. I often 1509 00:53:22.494 --> 00:53:25.380 - wonder that too about myself with, I wonder 1510 00:53:25.380 --> 00:53:26.440 - if I haven't 1511 00:53:26.739 --> 00:53:27.480 - gotten married 1512 00:53:27.940 --> 00:53:30.819 - because the Lord wants me to rely on 1513 00:53:30.819 --> 00:53:32.920 - him Yeah. And depend on him 1514 00:53:33.219 --> 00:53:35.960 - and go to him rather than my spouse, 1515 00:53:36.019 --> 00:53:38.364 - which would be a good thing. Yeah. To 1516 00:53:38.364 --> 00:53:40.684 - have him call back. I know. Glad you're 1517 00:53:40.684 --> 00:53:41.184 - here. 1518 00:53:42.285 --> 00:53:44.224 - If that happens, you let us know. 1519 00:53:45.005 --> 00:53:46.945 - You know, I think that 1520 00:53:47.244 --> 00:53:49.565 - it could be not a slippery slope, but 1521 00:53:49.565 --> 00:53:52.710 - I think if you are too dependent, you're 1522 00:53:52.710 --> 00:53:55.110 - not relying on God in that marriage, you 1523 00:53:55.110 --> 00:53:57.610 - know, that maybe it's just you two and 1524 00:53:57.989 --> 00:53:58.489 - he's 1525 00:53:58.949 --> 00:54:00.090 - maybe a periodic 1526 00:54:00.550 --> 00:54:03.130 - go to person or whatever, that maybe 1527 00:54:03.675 --> 00:54:07.035 - that could be a possibility that he wants 1528 00:54:07.035 --> 00:54:10.315 - me to rely on him and, I guess, 1529 00:54:10.315 --> 00:54:13.114 - develop more of my relationship with him. Yeah. 1530 00:54:13.114 --> 00:54:14.555 - And I'm even thinking, like, it's such a 1531 00:54:14.555 --> 00:54:16.715 - human experience where even you see the... I 1532 00:54:16.715 --> 00:54:19.599 - think there's a increase of the couples divorcing 1533 00:54:19.739 --> 00:54:22.140 - right as they become empty nesters. Right? Mhmm. 1534 00:54:22.140 --> 00:54:24.699 - Because that transition, there started... You were dependent 1535 00:54:24.699 --> 00:54:27.260 - on this lifestyle of, like, having children in 1536 00:54:27.260 --> 00:54:29.099 - the home and, you know, cheering them on 1537 00:54:29.099 --> 00:54:30.619 - at ball games or whatever, and then they're 1538 00:54:30.619 --> 00:54:32.219 - gone. And then it's like, oh, yeah. You're 1539 00:54:32.219 --> 00:54:34.364 - still here, but I don't know what we 1540 00:54:34.364 --> 00:54:36.445 - are without the kids running around the house. 1541 00:54:36.445 --> 00:54:38.204 - And so I think we all have to, 1542 00:54:38.204 --> 00:54:39.025 - you know, reconcile 1543 00:54:39.565 --> 00:54:41.644 - who are we depending on. And sometimes it 1544 00:54:41.644 --> 00:54:43.724 - surprises us when we're like, oh, like, suddenly 1545 00:54:43.724 --> 00:54:45.965 - I'm married and this is uncomfortable or suddenly 1546 00:54:45.965 --> 00:54:47.579 - I'm single or... You know? So I really 1547 00:54:47.579 --> 00:54:49.099 - should learn the term for that recently. Do 1548 00:54:49.099 --> 00:54:50.380 - you know what it's called when somebody's married? 1549 00:54:50.380 --> 00:54:51.980 - Is it like gray divorce? Yeah. A gray 1550 00:54:51.980 --> 00:54:54.380 - divorce for me. Yeah. Yeah. I would be... 1551 00:54:54.380 --> 00:54:56.079 - It's menopause for the women. 1552 00:54:56.460 --> 00:54:57.840 - And just for men for the men. 1553 00:54:58.300 --> 00:55:00.940 - No. Totally. I think my dad always said 1554 00:55:00.940 --> 00:55:03.355 - that. He's like, I can see they were 1555 00:55:03.355 --> 00:55:05.755 - married when they were 20, after thirty years 1556 00:55:05.755 --> 00:55:08.715 - of being married, around 50, why people get 1557 00:55:08.715 --> 00:55:09.215 - divorced. 1558 00:55:09.594 --> 00:55:11.114 - Because my mom was out of her mind 1559 00:55:11.114 --> 00:55:13.114 - and she was going through menopause and it's 1560 00:55:13.114 --> 00:55:15.434 - like, oh my words. All right, Allie said, 1561 00:55:15.434 --> 00:55:18.340 - I'm not touching that. But Allie snapped. No. 1562 00:55:18.559 --> 00:55:20.099 - And just back away slowly, Logan. 1563 00:55:20.559 --> 00:55:22.000 - No. You don't even have to put that 1564 00:55:22.000 --> 00:55:24.079 - in there, but that is a consideration. And 1565 00:55:24.079 --> 00:55:25.679 - we don't talk about it enough. We could 1566 00:55:25.679 --> 00:55:27.059 - do an episode on minute... 1567 00:55:27.360 --> 00:55:29.679 - There's the next. There's the next podcast that 1568 00:55:29.679 --> 00:55:31.860 - lady starts.... Divorce at 50 1569 00:55:32.264 --> 00:55:34.264 - when you've been married for thirty years. Yeah. 1570 00:55:34.264 --> 00:55:35.144 - So, anyway 1571 00:55:36.824 --> 00:55:38.744 - My attorney says I should not respond to 1572 00:55:38.744 --> 00:55:40.984 - this. Right. I did not. I'm not... But... 1573 00:55:40.984 --> 00:55:44.204 - No. Anyway, that's... Anyway. That's great. Any other 1574 00:55:44.409 --> 00:55:45.789 - final thought, concept, 1575 00:55:46.090 --> 00:55:47.150 - principle we need 1576 00:55:47.449 --> 00:55:48.889 - to cover before we wrap up, or how 1577 00:55:48.889 --> 00:55:50.030 - do we do? Would you agree? 1578 00:55:50.329 --> 00:55:52.650 - My thing would be just be aware. Whether 1579 00:55:52.650 --> 00:55:54.889 - you're a bishop, whether you're somebody in a 1580 00:55:54.889 --> 00:55:57.050 - ward, if you're married or single, whatever it 1581 00:55:57.050 -->

00:55:59.835 - is, just be aware of those around you. 1582 00:55:59.835 --> 00:56:01.295 - Be aware of 1583 00:56:01.675 --> 00:56:02.175 - just 1584 00:56:02.554 --> 00:56:04.974 - serving and what someone might 1585 00:56:05.355 --> 00:56:05.855 - need 1586 00:56:06.474 --> 00:56:07.295 - from you. 1587 00:56:07.594 --> 00:56:10.175 - And you're both enriched by being aware. 1588 00:56:10.635 --> 00:56:14.130 - Just look outside yourself. I wanted to say 1589 00:56:14.130 --> 00:56:16.449 - at one time, I know we're wrapping up. 1590 00:56:16.449 --> 00:56:18.769 - Sounds good. But one time I was... I 1591 00:56:18.769 --> 00:56:20.550 - went to church, I was alone, 1592 00:56:20.929 --> 00:56:23.650 - I was super vulnerable. I'm like, oh, I 1593 00:56:23.650 --> 00:56:25.589 - don't wanna be here. I'm by myself. 1594 00:56:26.045 --> 00:56:27.505 - And there was a bench 1595 00:56:27.885 --> 00:56:29.885 - there and there was like a family there, 1596 00:56:29.885 --> 00:56:31.644 - but there was enough room. And I said, 1597 00:56:31.644 --> 00:56:34.045 - do you mind if I sit here? And 1598 00:56:34.045 --> 00:56:35.184 - the lady said, 1599 00:56:35.644 --> 00:56:37.425 - yes, you can't sit here. 1600 00:56:38.045 --> 00:56:38.545 - I 1601 00:56:38.949 --> 00:56:40.630 - I wanted to... You went home and went 1602 00:56:40.630 --> 00:56:43.349 - back home. Yes. I wanted to just crawl 1603 00:56:43.349 --> 00:56:45.510 - in. I... It still makes me sick right 1604 00:56:45.510 --> 00:56:47.110 - now thinking about that. And I'm like, if 1605 00:56:47.110 --> 00:56:48.329 - that lady knew 1606 00:56:48.869 --> 00:56:51.449 - what it... Me going in and 1607 00:56:51.954 --> 00:56:54.674 - being vulnerable and being alone and just asking 1608 00:56:54.674 --> 00:56:56.534 - to sit there. And she said no. 1609 00:56:56.835 --> 00:56:59.074 - And I'm like, no. Wow. So... But I 1610 00:56:59.074 --> 00:57:00.594 - did stay, but I felt really bad the 1611 00:57:00.594 --> 00:57:03.074 - whole time. But... It's impressive you stayed. Yeah. 1612 00:57:03.074 --> 00:57:06.434 - I stayed. But it still is really hurtful. 1613 00:57:06.434 --> 00:57:08.900 - So being aware. Yeah. That's probably 1614 00:57:09.280 --> 00:57:09.780 - my... 1615 00:57:10.320 --> 00:57:11.380 - Wherever you are, 1616 00:57:11.679 --> 00:57:14.579 - you know, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, 1617 00:57:14.800 --> 00:57:16.400 - if you're at work or at the grocery 1618 00:57:16.400 --> 00:57:18.739 - store, if somebody needs help with their cart, 1619 00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:21.574 - I don't know, just be aware of where 1620 00:57:21.574 --> 00:57:23.835 - you can be a light of Christ because 1621 00:57:24.454 --> 00:57:27.734 - whenever you do good, that's of God. So 1622 00:57:27.734 --> 00:57:30.934 - whatever it is, just be aware of those 1623 00:57:30.934 --> 00:57:33.239 - around you and how you can be a 1624 00:57:33.239 --> 00:57:33.739 - light. 1625 00:57:34.440

--> 00:57:34.940 - Awesome. 1626 00:57:35.320 --> 00:57:38.039 - Okay. Any point we're missing, Logan, or... No. 1627 00:57:38.039 --> 00:57:39.320 - I I... You're doing alright? Since this is 1628 00:57:39.320 --> 00:57:39.980 - for leaders. 1629 00:57:41.559 --> 00:57:43.179 - I like to talk more about the menopause 1630 00:57:43.239 --> 00:57:45.400 - thing. Yeah. I know. I know that. It's 1631 00:57:45.400 --> 00:57:46.460 - an easier topic. 1632 00:57:47.714 --> 00:57:49.474 - No. Since we're we're just remotely talking to 1633 00:57:49.474 --> 00:57:51.714 - the leaders here, there's just one other piece 1634 00:57:51.714 --> 00:57:53.315 - I thought I mentioned from that hope in 1635 00:57:53.315 --> 00:57:55.634 - Christ talk from president Ballard, where he says, 1636 00:57:56.034 --> 00:57:57.875 - let us call upon our members who are 1637 00:57:57.875 --> 00:58:00.989 - single to serve, lift, and teach. Disregard old 1638 00:58:00.989 --> 00:58:04.690 - notions and ideas that have sometimes unintentionally contributed 1639 00:58:04.909 --> 00:58:06.210 - to their feelings of loneliness 1640 00:58:06.590 --> 00:58:08.670 - and that they do not belong or cannot 1641 00:58:08.670 --> 00:58:09.170 - serve. 1642 00:58:09.550 --> 00:58:12.050 - And different from, Hell, I don't have kids. 1643 00:58:12.364 --> 00:58:13.424 - So finding purpose 1644 00:58:13.724 --> 00:58:15.644 - is really important to me and being able 1645 00:58:15.644 --> 00:58:17.505 - to serve is a big deal to me. 1646 00:58:18.204 --> 00:58:19.644 - So that's all I would I would say 1647 00:58:19.644 --> 00:58:20.625 - just if you could 1648 00:58:21.005 --> 00:58:23.005 - find ways that we can be helpful if 1649 00:58:23.005 --> 00:58:24.764 - we were better if I were better I 1650 00:58:24.764 --> 00:58:26.684 - would ask more and put myself out there 1651 00:58:26.684 --> 00:58:28.610 - more but if any leaders wanna help out 1652 00:58:28.610 --> 00:58:30.450 - too, just give us something to do. That 1653 00:58:30.450 --> 00:58:32.390 - helps me more than probably anything else. 1654 00:58:37.090 --> 00:58:38.690 - Now that we've reached the end of the 1655 00:58:38.690 --> 00:58:39.190 - episode, 1656 00:58:39.505 --> 00:58:41.505 - I quickly want to thank you for supporting 1657 00:58:41.505 --> 00:58:42.804 - the leading saints podcast. 1658 00:58:43.184 --> 00:58:45.344 - There's so much content out there to consider 1659 00:58:45.344 --> 00:58:47.824 - and you picked this one. If leading saints 1660 00:58:47.824 --> 00:58:49.824 - has made an impact in your life, we 1661 00:58:49.824 --> 00:58:51.824 - would sure like to hear about it at 1662 00:58:51.824 --> 00:58:53.844 - leadingsaints.org/contact. 1663 00:58:54.090 --> 00:58:56.410 - And if you could quickly text or email 1664 00:58:56.410 --> 00:58:58.890 - this episode to a leader, you know, I 1665 00:58:58.890 --> 00:59:00.570 - bet it will bless their life. You can 1666 00:59:00.570 --> 00:59:02.570 - mark off your good turn daily and let's 1667 00:59:02.570 --> 00:59:04.970 - even call it ministering. Okay. Maybe not that 1668 00:59:04.970 --> 00:59:07.275 - far, but seriously, thank you and help us 1669 00:59:07.275 --> 00:59:08.335 - share this content. 1670 00:59:08.714 --> 00:59:11.114 - And remember, head on over to Zion Lab 1671 00:59:11.114 --> 00:59:13.114 - and ask a question. See what other questions 1672 00:59:13.114 --> 00:59:16.014 - are being asked at leadingsaints.org/zion. 1673 00:59:25.650 --> 00:59:28.070 - It came as a result of the position 1674 00:59:28.130 --> 00:59:31.190 - of leadership which was imposed upon us 1675 00:59:31.570 --> 00:59:34.289 - by the God of heaven who brought forth 1676 00:59:34.289 --> 00:59:37.909 - a restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 1677 00:59:38.605 --> 00:59:39.585 - When the declaration 1678 00:59:39.965 --> 00:59:41.985 - was made concerning the 1679 00:59:42.525 --> 00:59:45.244 - only true and living Church upon the face 1680 00:59:45.244 --> 00:59:46.065 - of the earth, 1681 00:59:46.605 --> 00:59:49.344 - we were immediately put in a position of 1682 00:59:49.485 --> 00:59:50.864 - loneliness, the loneliness 1683 00:59:51.164 --> 00:59:51.824 - of leadership 1684 00:59:52.569 --> 00:59:55.469 - from which we cannot shrink nor run away, 1685 00:59:56.250 --> 00:59:58.730 - and to which we must face up with 1686 00:59:58.730 --> 01:00:00.190 - boldness and courage 1687 01:00:00.730 --> 01:00:01.549 - and ability.