Programming Creates Beliefs | Episode 007-এর সম্পূর্ণ প্রতিলিপি

we're repeatedly exposed to eventually become something we believe? 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:13.360 Because that's where this stage of our journey begins. 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:17.360 Understanding your programming. 00:07:18.160 --> 00:07:25.120 And today we're going to take that first connection in the process of beginning to unpack it. 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:29.600 Programming creates beliefs. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.680 Which brings us back to one very important question. 00:07:37.199 --> 00:07:40.319 How did I learn to believe it? 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:55.519 And sometimes that positive programming came from somebody seeing something in us before we see it in ourselves. 00:07:57.759 --> 00:08:06.000 Daniel, I had an experience quite early in my horticultural career that really brings that home to me. 00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:09.600 So this was at Powiss Castle? 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:12.240 Yes, yes, it was. 00:09:15.919 --> 00:09:26.879 We were in magazines and newspapers, and the gardens actually had more than 120,000 visitors coming through it from March through till the end of October. 00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:34.720 Then there was a certain amount of pressure to get things right. 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:36.960 Absolutely. 00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:39.360 It was a big, big job. 00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:51.840 And you know, between every uh every year, between the permanent plants, the herbaceous perennials in the borders, we would plant tender perennials. 00:09:52.159 --> 00:10:00.879 And they would add more interest and help extend the flowering season from spring right the way until the frosts in November. 00:10:01.600 --> 00:10:09.039 And because every border was different, we were working with a very diverse range of plants as well. 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:15.679 And who decided where all of those plants went? 00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:18.799 Well, that was down to the head gardener, Jimmy. 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:21.440 He'd been doing it for 20 years. 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:25.200 So he would go out through the borders every spring. 00:10:25.440 --> 00:10:30.799 He would place every plant exactly where he wanted it to be planted. 00:10:31.039 --> 00:10:40.639 And it was the gardener's responsibility, that was my responsibility for the area that I had to follow behind him with my team, and we would plant them. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.480 And then came year three. 00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:01.840 Yes, year three. 00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:16.240 And how did you feel? 00:11:16.399 --> 00:11:18.559 How did you feel when he said that? 00:11:19.600 --> 00:11:22.879 Well, a few mixed emotions. 00:11:23.039 --> 00:11:32.000 I was taken aback because this had never happened to any previous gardener in my role during those 20 years. 00:11:32.240 --> 00:11:34.720 And then suddenly I'm thinking, me? 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.159 These are world-renowned gardens. 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:45.919 Thousands of people are going to walk through those borders, well, walk past those borders, should I say, and see these displays. 00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:56.240 And now I'm responsible for deciding where all these tender perennials go and how it's going to evolve through the summer period. 00:11:57.919 --> 00:11:59.600 So what did you say? 00:12:01.120 --> 00:12:05.440 I said with a pretty terrified voice, if I remember rightly. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:10.399 I said, Jimmy, what if I what if I get it wrong? 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:14.159 And what did he say? 00:12:15.759 --> 00:12:19.679 He said, Well, Christian, we'll observe. 00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:22.480 We can always make changes next year. 00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:25.120 I'm sure you'll do a great job. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:30.000 Oh, that's quite a message. 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:31.679 It was. 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:36.320 It was because I wasn't completely sure that I could do it. 00:12:36.480 --> 00:12:40.879 Um, I really didn't think I could pull it off, and I was in a panic. 00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:42.559 But Jimmy was. 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:45.600 He thought he was, yes. 00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:50.960 Ah, because he'd watched you for two years. 00:12:51.679 --> 00:13:07.519 Yeah, he'd been he'd be he'd seen me and what I'd been learning because I was always asking questions, and by handing me that responsibility, he was effectively saying, You're ready. 00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:11.360 And were you? 00:13:12.559 --> 00:13:20.879 Well, in that moment, I didn't feel ready, but yes, it was a great success. 00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:33.919 So Jimmy's belief in you came before you had quite developed the same level of belief in yourself. 00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:35.759 Exactly. 00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:40.720 And that's why I think this this matters. 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:52.720 When we're talking about programs, because some because sometimes the messages we receive don't tell us what we can't do. 00:13:54.080 --> 00:13:58.080 Sometimes they tell us what we might be capable of. 00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:04.159 Yeah, and those messages are reinforced by our experiences. 00:14:05.519 --> 00:14:16.639 Something that began with somebody else's belief in us can begin becoming a belief we hold about ourselves. 00:14:17.279 --> 00:14:22.720 Absolutely, and of course, you know, messages don't only come through words. 00:14:23.519 --> 00:14:28.480 Sometimes they're communicated through the opportunities we're given. 00:14:28.799 --> 00:14:33.440 Absolutely, and the responsibility that someone trusts us with it. 00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:39.759 Or simply somebody saying, I believe you're ready. 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:41.360 Yes. 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:46.399 But that actually, Daniel, it does raise another interesting question. 00:14:47.759 --> 00:15:00.399 Because whether the message is helpful or unhelpful, how does that information actually get into our programming in the first place? 00:15:00.879 --> 00:15:01.519 Yeah. 00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:06.480 And that's where my computer

keyboard story comes in. 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:16.879 I've heard you tell this before, Daniel, and I think this is one of the simplest of ways of making the idea of programming easier to understand. 00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:27.360 Because if you think about a computer, it can only work with the information that's been entered into it. 00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:31.679 So, Daniel, I really want you to tell us this story again. 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:32.559 Take us through it. 00:15:32.639 --> 00:15:35.360 Take us through your computer keyboard story. 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:37.600 Will do, Christian. 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:50.320 So let's say that you have a computer and you interact with your computer via a keyboard. 00:15:50.480 --> 00:15:55.279 Can you imagine that a keyboard right here is a prop, Christian, just waiting in case you would ask me? 00:15:55.679 --> 00:15:56.720 That is incredible. 00:15:57.039 --> 00:15:58.879 Brilliant, excellent prop. 00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:01.759 Let's get typing on that keyboard. 00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:02.879 Indeed. 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:03.840 Yes. 00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:10.799 So with your personal computer, you interact with it with your keyboard. 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:16.480 And your computer is waiting for your input. 00:16:17.840 --> 00:16:32.559 Whatever it is that you type on that keyboard is what goes into the computer, is what the computer processes, and is what the computer displays back out to you. 00:16:33.519 --> 00:16:50.879 So if you're thinking about sitting down at your keyboard and typing in whatever message you want to, the computer itself isn't evaluating whatever it is you're typing on the keyboard. 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:57.440 The computer doesn't pause to think, oh, that was a wonderful message. 00:16:57.600 --> 00:17:00.799 I'm going to record that and I want more like it. 00:17:01.679 --> 00:17:05.359 Or I don't know if that was such a helpful message. 00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:07.599 Maybe I just won't record it at all. 00:17:08.400 --> 00:17:10.480 Or, oh, that was an okay message. 00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:11.039 That's fine. 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:12.880 It can sit here for a while. 00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:18.319 The computer doesn't evaluate a message that's helpful or unhelpful. 00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:23.599 It doesn't evaluate if a message is accurate or inaccurate. 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:27.440 It doesn't evaluate if the message is true or not. 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:36.240 The computer is just waiting for whatever it is you're typing on your keyboard. 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:45.839 And when you type those messages on your keyboard, your computer now has something to act on. 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:52.319 No matter what those messages are, it's waiting for you to give it the directions. 00:17:52.480 --> 00:17:55.759 It's waiting for you to tell it what to do. 00:17:56.799 --> 00:18:10.720 And whatever you type on your keyboard into your computer in one form or another is always what the

computer will display back out to you. 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:15.440 It's always what your computer is going to act on. 00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:28.640 Because after you've typed in on your keyboard, your computer now knows what to do, and it has messages from which it can take and process what it's going to do next. 00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:40.559 Indeed. 00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:43.359 The information went in. 00:18:50.480 --> 00:18:51.440 Exactly. 00:18:52.720 --> 00:19:03.519 And particularly when we're very young, we don't necessarily we don't necessarily stop at every message that comes in and asks, is this true? 00:19:04.640 --> 00:19:09.920 Or is this person's judgment of me accurate? 00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:13.039 We're just receiving information. 00:19:13.759 --> 00:19:15.839 From the people around us? 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:18.640 From what happens to us? 00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:21.839 From what we're repeatedly told. 00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:28.319 And from the conclusions where we begin to draw from those experiences. 00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:39.200 And some of that information may eventually become part of our programming. 00:19:46.799 --> 00:19:50.160 Programming creates beliefs. 00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:58.720 But there's an important distinction here. 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:06.160 The information going in isn't automatically a belief. 00:20:08.319 --> 00:20:12.160 Something has to happen between receiving a message. 00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:20.720 And eventually accepting that message as something that's true about ourselves. 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:32.799 And Daniel, there's a gardening analogy that I'd like to make that distinction particularly easy to see, if that's okay with you. 00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:39.039 Well, Christian, I had a feeling we might be heading back into the garden here. 00:20:39.839 --> 00:20:41.039 We certainly are. 00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:57.279 And not every seed you plant becomes an established plant. 00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.039 Exactly. 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:03.759 And there's a very simple way I think about it. 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.559 I think about this as a gardener. 00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:08.640 The seed. 00:21:09.279 --> 00:21:10.240 Exactly. 00:21:10.640 --> 00:21:15.200 When you sow a seed, you put something into the soil. 00:21:15.759 --> 00:21:20.079 But what you've put in isn't yet an established plant. 00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:23.359 It has to germinate. 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.319 It has to take some roots. 00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:28.880 And begin to grow. 00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:34.160 Yeah, and I think that that's a useful way of looking at programming. 00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:39.119 A message goes in. 00:21:40.799 --> 00:21:44.720 Perhaps someone says, You're really good at that. 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:49.920 Or you'll never be able to do that. 00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:53.440 Maybe we hear it once. 00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:57.519 Maybe we hear it repeatedly. 00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.680 Perhaps expect. 00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.079 Experiences come along that we that seem to reinforce it. 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:09.599 And gradually that message can begin to take root. 00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:18.880 Until eventually, we're no longer saying, someone told me I'm not good at this. 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:24.000 We're saying I'm not good at this. 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.240 And something important has changed. 00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:31.920 It has. 00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:34.960 The message came from outside. 00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:41.920 But the belief is now being repeated from inside. 00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.440 So if we keep the gardening picture really simple. 00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:53.759 The seed is the programming. 00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:54.720 Yep. 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:58.319 And the belief is what takes root. 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:04.880 But there's something important about seeds. 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:07.359 There is. 00:23:07.680 --> 00:23:10.480 Not every seed actually grows. 00:23:12.960 --> 00:23:15.680 And that's an important point. 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:27.839 Because we're not suggesting that everything anybody has ever said to us automatically becomes something that we believe. 00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:31.119 Some messages actually barely register. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.480 Some messages we forget entirely. 00:23:35.119 --> 00:23:36.559 Some we question. 00:23:37.519 --> 00:23:40.160 And some we reject completely. 00:23:43.279 --> 00:23:45.440 It's a little like sowing seeds. 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:50.400 You can sow several seeds into exactly the same patch of soil. 00:23:51.119 --> 00:23:55.279 And they won't necessarily all establish. 00:23:56.400 --> 00:23:58.640 Exactly, but some do. 00:24:00.960 --> 00:24:08.799 So what might make one message more likely to take root than another? 00:24:09.599 --> 00:24:11.839 Sometimes it might be repetition. 00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:16.079 We hear the same thing again and again. 00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:23.039 And sometimes it might be who the message actually came from or comes from. 00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:36.640 A parent, a teacher, a coach, a manager, someone we respect or whose opinion carries weight. 00:24:37.599 --> 00:24:43.759 And sometimes our experiences seem to reinforce what we've already been told. 00:24:46.559 --> 00:24:54.880 Someone tells you you're not very good at this, then something doesn't go particularly well. 00:24:55.599 --> 00:25:03.920 And instead of seeing that as one experience, we might be seeing it as evidence. 00:25:06.079 --> 00:25:08.640 And think maybe they were right. 00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:20.319 And the more evidence we think we're finding, the easier it can become for the message to take root. 00:25:22.799 --> 00:25:26.640 But there's something else we need to remember here, Daniel. 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:33.759 Good point, Christian, because we've used a limiting example. 00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:40.640 Yeah, and programming isn't only about the

seeds that hold us back. 00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:47.839 Some of the most important seeds planted in us can help us grow. 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:54.559 And I think that's something that's something that we really need to emphasize here. 00:25:55.119 --> 00:26:07.359 Yes, because when we start talking about programming, it's very easy to focus on everything that might have gone wrong. 00:26:08.160 --> 00:26:09.519 The criticism. 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:12.079 The limiting messages. 00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:16.799 The things that somebody said that have perhaps stayed with us. 00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:23.359 But what about the other messages? 00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:25.279 You've got this. 00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:27.680 I believe in you. 00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:29.279 Give it a go. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:31.920 I think you're ready. 00:26:33.920 --> 00:26:37.920 That last one takes me straight back to Jimmy at Power's Castle. 00:26:38.880 --> 00:26:44.240 Because before you were completely convinced that you were ready. 00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:45.440 He was. 00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:46.720 He was. 00:26:49.119 --> 00:27:00.240 And sometimes another person's confidence in us gives us the opportunity to discover something about ourselves. 00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:02.079 We try. 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.000 We learn. 00:27:04.319 --> 00:27:06.720 And we actually succeed. 00:27:08.000 --> 00:27:13.839 And perhaps we begin thinking, maybe I can do this. 00:27:16.400 --> 00:27:19.839 And that can take root too. 00:27:20.960 --> 00:27:22.000 Absolutely. 00:27:23.039 --> 00:27:26.640 Think about the people who have encouraged you during your life. 00:27:27.519 --> 00:27:32.240 The teacher who spotted something you were good at. 00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:36.400 The friend who encouraged you to try something. 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:42.960 The manager who trusted you with more responsibility. 00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:49.200 The parent or the grandparent who kept reminding you that they believed in you. 00:27:51.200 --> 00:27:53.839 Those messages matter too. 00:27:55.440 --> 00:28:06.880 And perhaps they're the things you believe about yourself today, because somewhere along the way, somebody helped you to see that they were possible. 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:21.519 So understanding our programming isn't about searching through our past, looking for everything that went wrong. 00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:24.799 Or even finding people to blame. 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:36.240 And the messages that limited us. 00:28:37.440 --> 00:28:41.440 And the messages that helped us grow. 00:28:44.160 --> 00:28:50.319 Because if we're going to understand our programming, we need to recognize both. 00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:55.519 And we also need to recognize something else. 00:28:56.559 --> 00:29:00.000 Our programming didn't stop when we grew up. 00:29:01.759 --> 00:29:05.119 And I think that's really important. 00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:15.839 Yeah, because when people hear the word programming, it's very easy to think that we're only talking about our childhood. 00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:17.200 Parents? 00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:18.880 Teachers? 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:20.400 School? 00:29:21.279 --> 00:29:27.359 Those early years of experiences that helped shape the way that we began seeing ourselves. 00:29:28.079 --> 00:29:31.279 And of course, those things can be important. 00:29:32.720 --> 00:29:36.000 But we haven't stopped receiving information. 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:41.920 We still have people around us. 00:29:42.640 --> 00:29:43.920 We certainly do. 00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:46.960 Family, friends, colleagues. 00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:54.079 We have workplaces and the expectations that come with them. 00:29:55.359 --> 00:30:02.079 We have advertising, social media, and culture. 00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:13.599 And experiences that can continue influencing the conclusions we draw about ourselves and the world around us. 00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:18.799 But there's another source of programming that becomes increasingly important. 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:24.400 And this one is much closer to home. 00:30:25.599 --> 00:30:29.119 The conversations we have with ourselves. 00:30:30.079 --> 00:30:32.240 Our self-talk. 00:30:35.200 --> 00:30:39.680 Because think about some of those messages we've been talking about. 00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:47.039 Perhaps years ago, somebody said, You're no good at that. 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:52.640 But that person may no longer be in your life. 00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:59.200 They may not have said those words for twenty or thirty years. 00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:03.839 And yet the messages can still be there. 00:31:06.240 --> 00:31:07.519 Only now. 00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:12.480 You might be the person that's saying it. 00:31:15.440 --> 00:31:17.200 I'm no good at that. 00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:21.279 I've never been able to do things like this. 00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:25.680 I'm just not that sort of person. 00:31:28.240 --> 00:31:32.799 And it's quite a moment when you really think about it. 00:31:33.839 --> 00:31:39.599 Because the original voice may have disappeared years ago. 00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:42.559 But the message can continue. 00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:49.359 Because we've learned to repeat it for ourselves. 00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:59.039 So over time we can actually become one of the people doing the programming. 00:31:59.680 --> 00:32:04.640 Through our own repeated self-talk. 00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.559 And of course, that doesn't only apply to the limiting messages. 00:32:12.880 --> 00:32:15.920 No, we can repeat the good ones too. 00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:17.839 I learned to do this. 00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:21.119 I've handled difficult things before. 00:32:21.839 --> 00:32:24.319 I don't know how to do it yet. 00:32:24.960 --> 00:32:26.799 But I can find out. 00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:35.839 So perhaps the question isn't only what was planted in the years ago. 00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:44.319 Perhaps we also need to ask, what

am I continuing to plant today? 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:52.799 And maybe the first step isn't trying to change any of it. 00:32:54.079 --> 00:32:58.720 Maybe the first step is simply beginning to notice it. 00:33:02.640 --> 00:33:12.400 So over the next few days, listen, for some of the things you say about yourself. 00:33:13.759 --> 00:33:23.920 Particularly those statements that begin with things like I'm not very good at. 00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:29.519 I always I never. 00:33:30.960 --> 00:33:34.400 I've just never been that sort of person. 00:33:36.079 --> 00:33:39.519 Or the one we've already heard today. 00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:42.319 I'm just the way I am. 00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:45.599 That's just the way I am. 00:33:49.039 --> 00:33:53.920 And when you notice one, don't immediately try to correct it. 00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:57.759 And don't criticize yourself for saying it. 00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:06.400 And don't assume that because you've been saying it for years, it must be true. 00:34:07.279 --> 00:34:09.440 Just become curious. 00:34:10.239 --> 00:34:13.840 And ask yourself one question. 00:34:15.119 --> 00:34:18.000 How did I learn to believe that? 00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:23.440 Was it something somebody once said? 00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:27.519 Or something I heard repeatedly? 00:34:29.119 --> 00:34:33.599 Or an experience I interpreted in a particular way? 00:34:35.280 --> 00:34:43.280 Or is it something I've repeated to myself for so long that I've stopped questioning where it came from? 00:34:46.079 --> 00:34:50.079 But let's notice the positive beliefs too. 00:34:51.119 --> 00:34:54.880 Perhaps you hear yourself saying, I'll work it out. 00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:57.280 I can learn. 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:01.039 I've done difficult things before. 00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:05.199 Or simply, I can do this. 00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:10.079 Where did those beliefs come from? 00:35:11.039 --> 00:35:13.039 Who encouraged you? 00:35:13.519 --> 00:35:15.280 Who believed in you? 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:25.840 What experiences helped you discover something about yourself that perhaps you hadn't recognized before? 00:35:28.400 --> 00:35:32.320 Those are the part of your those are part of your story too. 00:35:33.440 --> 00:35:44.159 And perhaps understanding our programming isn't about deciding that everything we've learned needs to change. 00:35:45.119 --> 00:35:51.119 Perhaps it's about beginning to recognize what's already growing. 00:35:52.079 --> 00:35:55.199 What we want to keep nurturing. 00:35:55.840 --> 00:36:02.800 And what we might eventually decide no longer deserves quite such as much space. 00:36:05.679 --> 00:36:17.519 Because once we begin to understand that some of our beliefs were learned, we arrive at something rather hopeful. 00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:29.599 If I've learned to believe this about myself, does that belief have to stay exactly the same for the rest of my life? 00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:35.920 And that's where this understanding

can give us something really important. 00:36:37.679 --> 00:36:42.880 Not going back through our lives trying to find somebody to blame. 00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:47.039 And not judging the people who influenced us. 00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:52.880 And not judging ourselves for the things we've come to believe. 00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:55.760 It's really about understanding. 00:36:56.800 --> 00:37:07.599 Because once we understand that some of what we believe was learned, something rather important becomes possible. 00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:15.840 We begin questioning what we've always assumed to be true. 00:37:18.239 --> 00:37:23.119 We can begin noticing the messages we're continuing to repeat. 00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:34.719 And perhaps we can begin becoming more deliberate about the messages we give ourselves in the future. 00:37:38.000 --> 00:37:42.880 So let's think back to the seed that we've been talking about, Daniel. 00:37:43.360 --> 00:37:43.920 Yes. 00:37:44.239 --> 00:37:46.880 The seed is the programming. 00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:50.400 And the belief is what takes root. 00:37:52.639 --> 00:38:05.199 But as any gardener knows, what is growing in a garden today doesn't necessarily determine what has to grow there forever. 00:38:06.079 --> 00:38:06.400 No. 00:38:07.280 --> 00:38:19.440 We can observe what's growing, decide what we want to nurture, and begin thinking differently about what we want to cultivate in the future. 00:38:21.840 --> 00:38:28.960 And perhaps that's the most hopeful part of today's conversation. 00:38:30.000 --> 00:38:33.920 Your beliefs may influence the way you see yourself today. 00:38:34.880 --> 00:38:45.360 But that doesn't necessarily mean every belief you currently hold has to define who you become tomorrow. 00:38:47.840 --> 00:38:50.639 New programming can be introduced. 00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:55.039 Different messages can be repeated. 00:38:55.760 --> 00:38:59.280 Old assumptions can actually be questioned. 00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:05.519 And different beliefs can begin to take root. 00:39:08.480 --> 00:39:16.320 So when you're catching yourself saying, I'm just the way that I am, or it's just the way that it is. 00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:22.239 Perhaps add one more question. 00:39:23.679 --> 00:39:25.280 Does it have to be? 00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:32.400 Because programming creates beliefs. 00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:38.079 And understanding that gives us something enormously important. 00:39:40.239 --> 00:39:41.039 Choice. 00:39:45.760 --> 00:40:03.920 If today's conversation has got you thinking about some of the things you believe about yourself, you may also want to go back and explore some of the foundations we've been building throughout this podcast. 00:40:05.039 --> 00:40:08.159 And we've now made it much easier for you to. 00:40:09.760 --> 00:40:19.119 Throughout our first six episodes, we created a reflection worksheet to accompany each conversation. 00:40:20.159 --> 00:40:24.639 And we brought all six of those worksheets together in one place. 00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:31.280 The Growing Plants, Growing People, Foundation Workbook. 00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:38.239 And it's designed to help you work through those first six conversations at your own pace. 00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:42.239 To reflect on what you're discovering. 00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:49.280 And to begin connecting some of the ideas that we've been exploring to your own life. 00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:59.119 So whether you've been with us from episode one, or you've just only discovered growing plants, grown people. 00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:04.400 The workbook gives you a place to begin. 00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:12.320 And you'll find those details on how to get your free copy in the notes, in the episode notes. 00:41:15.920 --> 00:41:21.519 And we have something else we'd like to offer you. 00:41:22.480 --> 00:41:25.039 Something a little more personal. 00:41:27.599 --> 00:41:30.559 Let us ask you a question. 00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:41.760 On who you are. 00:41:43.920 --> 00:41:45.679 What you want to be. 00:41:47.119 --> 00:41:49.039 What you want to do. 00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:53.760 Or what you want to have in your life. 00:41:56.159 --> 00:41:59.280 Someone who listened deeply. 00:42:00.480 --> 00:42:02.079 Without judgment. 00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:08.880 And gave you the space to explore where you want to go. 00:42:10.639 --> 00:42:14.480 Even if you're not quite sure what that looks like yet. 00:42:16.559 --> 00:42:20.960 That's the experience we'd like to invite you to have. 00:42:22.400 --> 00:42:26.880 We'd like to offer you a free coaching call with one of us. 00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:29.199 No obligation. 00:42:29.599 --> 00:42:30.960 No pressure. 00:42:31.440 --> 00:42:35.280 Just a conversation focused on you. 00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:38.079 Where you are now. 00:42:38.719 --> 00:42:40.480 Where you'd like to be. 00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:44.320 And perhaps what's standing between the two. 00:42:47.199 --> 00:43:01.199 Because sometimes having someone really listen and ask the right questions can help you begin seeing things differently. 00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:10.320 If you'd like to take us up on that invitation, you'll find the details in the episode notes. 00:43:14.880 --> 00:43:29.519 And if you'd like to take what we've been exploring in the podcast and putting self-talk into practice for yourself, we've got another way to help you get started. 00:43:32.239 --> 00:43:35.760 We'd like to invite you to try the self-talk app. 00:43:37.199 --> 00:43:46.239 And as a listener to Growing Plants, Growing People, you can try it free for 30 days. 00:43:48.800 --> 00:43:55.679 But we also know that downloading an app and knowing how to make the best use of it are two different things. 00:43:56.480 --> 00:43:59.760 So we've created something specifically for. 00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:01.599 Our listeners. 00:44:02.480 --> 00:44:07.360 The Grown Plant, Grown People Listener's Guide to the Self-Talk App.

00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:11.360 It's there to help you get started. 00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:15.519 Understand how to begin using Self-Talk. 00:44:16.079 --> 00:44:24.960 And make those first 30 days something you can actually explore and experience for yourself. 00:44:26.639 --> 00:44:34.880 Because throughout the podcast, we're going to continue exploring why conversations we have with ourselves actually matter. 00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:42.159 But the app gives you an opportunity to begin experiencing self-talk for yourself. 00:44:43.840 --> 00:44:55.599 So if you'd like to give it a try, you'll find the listener's guide and details of your free 30-day trial in the episode notes. 00:45:00.719 --> 00:45:08.719 Today we've explored one of the most important connections in this whole journey. 00:45:09.519 --> 00:45:12.000 Programming creates beliefs. 00:45:12.639 --> 00:45:18.480 We've looked at how messages and information can enter our lives. 00:45:18.960 --> 00:45:22.800 And how some of those messages can begin to take root. 00:45:23.519 --> 00:45:27.199 Some may come from the people around us. 00:45:27.679 --> 00:45:30.400 And some from our own experiences. 00:45:31.360 --> 00:45:39.840 And some can eventually be reinforced by the conversations we continue having with ourselves. 00:45:42.079 --> 00:45:50.800 And perhaps one of the most important things we've discovered today is that a belief can feel like a fact. 00:45:52.079 --> 00:45:55.599 Without necessarily beginning as one. 00:45:57.360 --> 00:46:06.480 Something that may once have been somebody else's message can eventually become something we say about ourselves. 00:46:08.719 --> 00:46:15.280 But we've also seen on the other side of that the people who encourage us. 00:46:16.239 --> 00:46:18.159 The people who believe in us. 00:46:18.800 --> 00:46:23.920 The experiences that help us discover what we're capable of. 00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:29.199 And those seeds can take root too. 00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:40.480 And that's why understanding our programming isn't about looking backwards for someone to blame. 00:46:41.679 --> 00:46:44.079 It's about becoming curious. 00:46:45.360 --> 00:46:49.039 About what we've learned to believe. 00:46:50.480 --> 00:46:53.039 What we're continuing to reinforce. 00:46:53.760 --> 00:47:00.159 And perhaps what we might choose to nurture differently in the future. 00:47:03.679 --> 00:47:07.519 But all of this leaves us with another question. 00:47:08.559 --> 00:47:10.800 A really important one. 00:47:13.920 --> 00:47:20.880 If programming can have this much influence over what we eventually come to believe. 00:47:22.079 --> 00:47:27.280 How does our brain actually get programmed in the first place? 00:47:29.280 --> 00:47:31.840 And that's where we're going to next. 00:47:32.800 --> 00:47:37.840 In episode eight of understanding your programming. 00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:41.679 How your brain gets programmed. 00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:49.679 We're going to look more closely at how information is received. 00:47:50.159 --> 00:47:51.840 How it can be stored. 00:47:52.239 --> 00:47:59.360 And how over time we're able to build upon what we've already learned. 00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:09.199 And I'm going to take you back to something that began for me when I was studying my horticulture. 00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:12.159 Plant identification. 00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:16.400 Every week we had twenty plants to learn, Daniel. 00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:20.079 And then you were tested on them. 00:48:21.519 --> 00:48:25.280 Yes, before we were then given another twenty. 00:48:27.440 --> 00:48:29.039 Week after week. 00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:31.039 Year after year. 00:48:32.159 --> 00:48:37.119 Until something rather interesting had started to develop. 00:48:38.400 --> 00:48:41.360 A mental filing cabinet, would you believe it? 00:48:42.960 --> 00:48:50.320 And the more you learned, the more draw drawers there were to put things into. 00:48:52.480 --> 00:49:00.159 And that's going to help us understand something much bigger than plant identification. 00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:06.079 Because whether we're learning plants, learning about the world. 00:49:06.400 --> 00:49:10.000 Or learning about things about ourselves. 00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:18.639 Our brains are continually receiving information and finding somewhere to put it. 00:49:21.039 --> 00:49:27.360 And in the next episode, we're going to open the filing cabinet. 00:49:29.519 --> 00:49:36.239 So perhaps there's one thought worth taking away from today's conversation. 00:49:37.840 --> 00:49:43.920 Something you believed about yourself for a very long time can feel like a fact. 00:49:44.880 --> 00:49:48.159 But perhaps it isn't. 00:49:49.280 --> 00:49:55.119 Perhaps somewhere along the way it was something you learned to believe. 00:49:57.360 --> 00:50:07.519 And if it was learned, perhaps it doesn't have to define what's possible for you in the future. 00:50:08.719 --> 00:50:10.320 Until next time. 00:50:11.039 --> 00:50:16.159 Remember, you weren't born believing the things that now hold you back. 00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:23.119 The most important conversation you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself. 00:50:23.519 --> 00:50:24.719 Make it count.