When Everything Falls Apart - Break Free From Society's Boxes-এর সম্পূর্ণ প্রতিলিপি

Shaw. 00:05:19.862 --> 00:05:24.052 Welcome to the Breakthrough Podcast, afshin. 00:05:24.052 --> 00:05:24.552 How are you? 00:05:25.281 --> 00:05:25.882 I am great. 00:05:25.882 --> 00:05:27.288 Thank you so much for having me. 00:05:27.288 --> 00:05:30.250 It really is such a pleasure and an honor to be on your show. 00:05:30.250 --> 00:05:34.110 I admire your work so much and all the good that you've been putting out there. 00:05:34.903 --> 00:05:38.899 Thank you, and I mean it's so strange because we were talking before the recording. 00:05:38.899 --> 00:05:48.793 Just, you know how we met through Instagram and you were one of those people that you were like an instant sister, one of those people that you just immediately kind of resonate with. 00:05:49.880 --> 00:05:51.567 You know them right away when you see them. 00:05:51.567 --> 00:05:52.841 Yeah. 00:05:53.382 --> 00:05:55.307 So it's quite amazing to be chatting to you today. 00:05:55.307 --> 00:05:57.312 Thanks for joining me Now. 00:05:57.312 --> 00:06:07.086 In your bio, when I read that, a whole lot of that actually resonated with me so deeply, because it's part of my story as well and I think it's a lot of people's story. 00:06:07.086 --> 00:06:18.850 But would you mind just kind of giving the listeners a bit of background as to how you got to what you're doing now, what your passion is now, Because there was quite a few things that led up to this right. 00:06:19.661 --> 00:06:20.766 Yes, it's so funny. 00:06:20.766 --> 00:06:24.702 I think I like to categorize my life into three phases. 00:06:24.702 --> 00:06:35.192 There was the me who was doing what I thought I should have been, and then there was the me who said oh wait, that's wrong, let me figure out what I should be doing. 00:06:35.192 --> 00:06:49.605 And then there's the me now who finally realized there is nothing I have to be doing aside from just being and being the person who speaks from the heart, who looks inside and wherever that leads me, it's okay. 00:06:49.605 --> 00:07:00.928 And so when I was younger, as I mentioned before the show, my family moved here when I was very little, and when you come from a different country, understandably there's a lot of pressure to just succeed. 00:07:00.928 --> 00:07:08.733 And you know my parents were doing the best they could and so they had instilled in me that you have to just keep going, it doesn't matter what happens, you keep going. 00:07:08.733 --> 00:07:13.889 So I grew up with the mentality that if you're sick, if you're tired, it doesn't matter, you keep going. 00:07:13.889 --> 00:07:16.901 And so I put myself through law school. 00:07:16.901 --> 00:07:19.826 I was my illness actually started in law school. 00:07:19.826 --> 00:07:20.968 I just didn't realize it. 00:07:20.968 --> 00:07:22.290 I just because I kept going. 00:07:22.290 --> 00:07:31.531 And I became a lawyer, I became partner of the law firm and the whole time I just kind of had this nagging feeling inside that something is not right. 00:07:31.531 --> 00:07:37.362 And I didn't listen to it right away because I was still in that phase of who am I supposed to be? 00:07:37.362 --> 00:07:38.665 I hadn't quite gotten to. 00:07:38.665 --> 00:07:40.732 I can be anyone I want to be. 00:07:40.732 --> 00:07:47.093 And I just remember waking up one day and it was as if I couldn't get out of the bed. 00:07:47.093 --> 00:07:53.803 My legs just wouldn't move and it took me a full hour to actually get out of bed and I just sat there and I said I don't understand. 00:07:53.803 --> 00:07:57.521 I'm the person who can always go when everybody else stops. 00:07:57.521 --> 00:08:02.281 They used to call me the energizer bunny and I just couldn't move and I just started crying. 00:08:02.281 --> 00:08:12.892 And I didn't know it at the time, but it was the first sign of an emotional breakdown, because I had been going for so long without actually stopping to see where I was headed. 00:08:12.892 --> 00:08:26.014 And when I woke up that day I looked around and where I had landed was not where I wanted to be, and the realization of that had hit me so hard that my body physically responded by just not being able to move. 00:08:26.014 --> 00:08:29.946 And that was the first step of my journey. 00:08:29.946 --> 00:08:32.611 It's been, quite honestly, a very long road. 00:08:32.611 --> 00:08:33.192 Since then. 00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.469 I started looking into what do I do from here If I'm not happy? 00:08:37.469 --> 00:08:38.892 How do I change my life? 00:08:38.892 --> 00:08:44.176 And this was actually before the days of Instagram being so commonly used. 00:08:44.176 --> 00:08:45.038 You know, there was YouTube. 00:08:45.038 --> 00:08:59.888 I was looking on YouTube, I was taking personal development classes and I started coming across people like Tony Robbins, who has, even though I've never met him, has been a huge mentor for me, and he always said you know, there's six basic human needs. 00:08:59.967 --> 00:09:04.706 There's just there's four that everybody has, where you have to survive, you're trying to get through day by day. 00:09:04.706 --> 00:09:23.668 But then there's also the need for growth and contribution, and those are the two needs that I had been neglecting my whole life, and I realized that's where the hollowness, that empty feeling was coming from, because the real me wasn't so worried about sitting behind a desk and having a certain title and making a certain amount of money. 00:09:23.668 --> 00:09:28.615 That's what I thought I should be doing, because I was told my whole life that's what I was supposed to be doing. 00:09:28.615 --> 00:09:32.289 The real me wanted to be out there helping other people. 00:09:32.289 --> 00:09:42.480 The real me wanted to be saving dogs, helping women, and my whole life I'd been told that's wrong, because if you want to be successful, you have to put other people's needs aside. 00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.288 You

have to put your needs aside and just focus on working and working hard. 00:09:47.288 --> 00:09:54.706 And, as we know, that's not the right paradigm if you want any type of inner fulfillment and inner peace. 00:09:55.206 --> 00:10:24.830 That's the conclusion that I came to after the last three years of just going on this journey, doing spiritual retreats, focusing inward, and it was definitely not the easiest because in the process, I was also diagnosed with Lyme disease, adrenal fatigue and leaking gut, so my brain wasn't functioning quite the way it should have, which, quite honestly, it's a blessing, because I don't think if my brain hadn't been so confused, I would have taken the time to do what I'm doing now. 00:10:24.830 --> 00:10:30.153 And that's when I started really going deeper inward and I started meditating. 00:10:30.153 --> 00:10:38.462 I started doing yoga again and I started going on these long runs, but not running because I want to do a marathon or I want to do a half marathon. 00:10:38.462 --> 00:10:47.724 I started running so I could feel my feet against the ground and there was something about that feeling that made me realize that we're all just one. 00:10:47.724 --> 00:10:53.482 We're one, we're not separate, and there's such a focus on everybody being separate right now. 00:10:53.844 --> 00:10:56.835 That's causing this huge diversity issue. 00:10:56.835 --> 00:11:03.448 It's causing people to compete with each other instead of uplifting each other, and that's what my law firm is based on. 00:11:03.448 --> 00:11:09.466 That's what my a lot of my past friendships were based on, and I want to change that. 00:11:09.466 --> 00:11:13.073 I want to show everyone that it doesn't have to be that way. 00:11:13.073 --> 00:11:14.361 We can all help each other. 00:11:14.361 --> 00:11:15.905 We can all rise together. 00:11:15.905 --> 00:11:21.222 There's no reason for one person to rise at the expense of another person going down. 00:11:21.222 --> 00:11:23.126 There's enough for everybody to go around. 00:11:23.126 --> 00:11:49.725 There's enough for all of us to build together, to really come together and have and this is a little bit utopian on my part, I know but have a world where everybody's living in a place of fulfillment and love, as opposed to a place of lack and need, which is, unfortunately, where I think we're heading right now, absolutely, and I think're heading right now, absolutely, and I think that's most people is. 00:11:50.206 --> 00:11:54.928 as you said, we're brought up from a young age that that's what this life's about. 00:11:54.928 --> 00:12:04.091 It's about becoming something, in the sense that you have to get a degree, you've got to go work for money, you've got to be successful at your job, you've got to get married, have kids. 00:12:04.091 --> 00:12:07.706 There's like this whole box that we're put in from a young age. 00:12:07.706 --> 00:12:17.232 And I think when you describe that, what I'm hearing is that absolute, that inner need that we all have to fit in somewhere. 00:12:17.232 --> 00:12:19.563 But we think we found what that is. 00:12:19.563 --> 00:12:26.018 And then one day we just wake up and I don't know what age you were at, but we just wake up and we kind of realize that I'm in a box that I don't want to be in. 00:12:26.639 --> 00:12:30.630 Yeah, and I've actually killed myself doing it Right, isn't it amazing? 00:12:30.630 --> 00:12:38.067 And for me it hit around the age of 40 and that's when, and my one of my lifelong dreams had been to be a mother. 00:12:38.067 --> 00:12:47.734 And again I just thought it would happen, because that's what you do you get a great job, then you find the man, then you have the kid and you live in that house with the white picket fence. 00:12:47.734 --> 00:12:49.863 You know it happens to everybody, so why wouldn't it happen? 00:12:49.863 --> 00:12:58.107 And I got the job I, you know, I found a great guy and then all that fell apart and I tried to adopt and that fell apart. 00:12:58.187 --> 00:13:06.312 And then I think that's kind of what also triggered my need to really look at other ways of bringing love into my life. 00:13:06.312 --> 00:13:21.059 And you know, another myth that we're told is, if you don't have love and companionship of you know significant other, that means that there's something wrong with you, that you know you must be doing something to turn people off or you know you're just not lovable. 00:13:21.059 --> 00:13:33.147 And that's such a false myth and it's doing so much harm to so many beautiful people, so many of my beautiful friends, who truly believe that they're not lovable just because they don't have quote unquote love in their life. 00:13:33.147 --> 00:13:36.402 But everywhere you turn, there's love in your life. 00:13:36.402 --> 00:13:37.645 You know even my dogs. 00:13:37.645 --> 00:13:53.581 They are an amazing source of love and if we can appreciate the love we do have, we see so much more love everywhere and I just wish more people could see that and not beat themselves up as much as they do, and that breaks my heart. 00:13:53.581 --> 00:14:01.174 You know that people are compassionate to others, but they're not compassionate to themselves sometimes absolutely, very hard to see. 00:14:02.076 --> 00:14:05.923 No, absolutely, and I think that's uh for people like you and me. 00:14:05.923 --> 00:14:18.451 What I love is to hear your story, because our story is usually what has pushed us to doing what we're doing today and that's why we understand what our clients are going through and we have such a passion for it. 00:14:18.451 --> 00:14:23.399 I always say that we we end up teaching what we most want to learn as a soul ourselves. 00:14:23.399 --> 00:14:30.421 So I can hear that your journey has really been your catalyst to what you're doing, and that's amazing. 00:14:30.421 --> 00:14:31.893 It makes it worthwhile. 00:14:32.975 --> 00:14:33.596 It really does.

00:14:33.596 --> 00:14:36.442 It really does, and I have a long way to go. 00:14:36.442 --> 00:14:45.042 I think we're always growing, we're always changing, and with each new experience we get new ideas. 00:14:45.042 --> 00:14:53.832 We get new thoughts that we need to consider and bring in to whatever we're doing now and I'm not, you know, not necessarily every new idea gets incorporated. 00:14:53.873 --> 00:15:06.394 But even this week I was speaking to somebody who felt very alone, and the reason they felt alone was because they've had, you know, kind of like me a lot of long working hours. 00:15:06.394 --> 00:15:11.051 They haven't really had time to connect with people, but they're not actually alone. 00:15:11.051 --> 00:15:17.883 It's just that they're going through a phase where they don't have what they think they should have in their life, and so that's you know. 00:15:17.883 --> 00:15:22.457 So now I'm also trying to figure out okay, how do I show people that you're never really alone either? 00:15:22.457 --> 00:15:29.692 It's a perception of how you see your life, but the perception is still being affected by thoughts that other people put in your head. 00:15:29.692 --> 00:15:35.693 It doesn't mean that it has to really be viewed that way just because you were told it should be a certain way. 00:15:36.416 --> 00:15:36.917 Absolutely. 00:15:36.917 --> 00:15:38.982 I mean, I'm in my forties and I'm still single. 00:15:41.471 --> 00:15:43.095 I swear I thought you were in your twenties. 00:15:43.535 --> 00:15:52.120 I I wish I loved my 20s, but I'm into my 20s just as much and it's kind of a journey because it really is. 00:15:52.120 --> 00:16:05.782 There's not a lot of pressure on me, but people get to the point when you get to this age where they remind you that your clock's ticking and rumors even start circling of do you even like guys? 00:16:05.782 --> 00:16:08.535 You know all sorts of stuff and it's scary. 00:16:09.216 --> 00:16:10.841 I've been asked that so many times recently. 00:16:10.841 --> 00:16:21.663 My actually my own mother asked me that I know it's coming from a place of love and you know I looked at her and I said one, it shouldn't matter, but I just haven't found the right man. 00:16:21.663 --> 00:16:21.903 Mom, I'm not. 00:16:21.903 --> 00:16:23.167 You know how about I spend my life with somebody who makes? 00:16:23.167 --> 00:16:30.254 Know how about I spend my life with somebody who makes me happy and not just spend my life for the with somebody just for the sake of not being single? 00:16:30.254 --> 00:16:32.359 Yeah, not a concept. 00:16:32.519 --> 00:16:41.457 But I think I think it's what we were speaking about earlier on those boxes that society choose to put us in. 00:16:41.457 --> 00:16:45.764 When you're outside of that box, then they're uncomfortable. 00:16:45.764 --> 00:16:53.010 I think society is uncomfortable with someone who can genuinely say I am single, but I am totally happy. 00:16:53.010 --> 00:16:56.820 That way I'm totally fulfilled all by myself, absolutely. 00:16:56.980 --> 00:16:57.842 And you know what it is. 00:16:57.842 --> 00:17:00.216 I also think people don't realize we're choosing it. 00:17:00.216 --> 00:17:00.639 It's a choice. 00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:01.682 Could we have anybody in our life right now? 00:17:01.682 --> 00:17:02.664 Of course, but we're choosing to be. 00:17:02.664 --> 00:17:02.966 It's a choice. 00:17:02.966 --> 00:17:03.990 Could we have anybody in our life right now? 00:17:03.990 --> 00:17:14.652 Of course, but we're choosing to be single because we want the right people in our life and to me, that's so much more important than just having anybody in your life and being afraid to be alone. 00:17:14.652 --> 00:17:16.756 Absolutely yeah. 00:17:16.976 --> 00:17:22.753 Yeah, so you spoke a little bit about the balance between body, mind and soul. 00:17:22.753 --> 00:17:24.440 That has to be balanced, right. 00:17:24.440 --> 00:17:30.663 So can you give us an idea of what exactly does a balanced body, mind and soul look like? 00:17:32.132 --> 00:17:42.084 So I think that definition is different for everybody and I always, you know, I make sure I tell people that what works for one person is not necessarily what's right for you. 00:17:42.084 --> 00:17:49.638 One person is not necessarily what's right for you, because there's also this big concept of balance means everything is getting equal attention at all times. 00:17:49.638 --> 00:17:52.392 That's not realistic, that's not life. 00:17:52.392 --> 00:17:57.412 You may have a month where you have a lot of deadlines at work, you have a lot of client calls. 00:17:57.412 --> 00:18:02.313 That month, you're focused a little bit more on work, but the next month your schedule is a little bit lighter. 00:18:02.313 --> 00:18:09.580 Maybe you can go out a little more, maybe you can see your friends and your family a little bit more than you did the prior month and you can sneak in more massages. 00:18:09.580 --> 00:18:20.032 So my concept of balance is making sure that all times you're feeding the part of your mind, body and soul that's asking for attention at that particular time. 00:18:20.032 --> 00:18:29.435 So, just for example, this last week I wasn't feeling so great and I just turned in words and my heart was saying I want you to meditate more this week. 00:18:29.435 --> 00:18:31.214 I know you have a lot of work to do. 00:18:31.214 --> 00:18:33.053 Don't worry about the work. 00:18:33.053 --> 00:18:34.076 You need to meditate. 00:18:34.076 --> 00:18:39.259 And that's exactly what I did, whereas the week before I was very focused on work. 00:18:39.259 --> 00:18:42.615 I was very driven, but I was very happy that we're doing that. 00:18:42.775 --> 00:18:43.797 So I think one. 00:18:43.797 --> 00:18:50.290 You have to see where you are at each moment and really learn to be aware of what your body is telling you. 00:18:50.290 --> 00:18:56.143 And then you have to

figure out okay, do I want my career to come first? 00:18:56.143 --> 00:19:00.689 Because people also have this idea that, well, I don't understand why this isn't working. 00:19:00.689 --> 00:19:02.474 You know, I really want this relationship. 00:19:02.515 --> 00:19:08.876 I really am trying so hard, but then when you look at how they structured their life, there's really no room for a relationship. 00:19:08.876 --> 00:19:14.039 You know, everything is focused on the career or everything's focused about going to the gym for three hours. 00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:22.279 You can't have the type of balance that you want if you're not structuring your life in a way that brings the balance that you're seeking. 00:19:22.279 --> 00:19:34.896 So you really have to kind of sit down and evaluate and say, okay, if my spirit wants the right person next to me and my body is also telling me, yeah, you don't feel so good today. 00:19:34.896 --> 00:19:41.616 So maybe today I go for a walk and also meditate during my walk and figure out who that partner is. 00:19:41.616 --> 00:19:52.579 That would be perfect for me, and there's so many different ways to go about it, but really the balance comes from figuring out what's right for you at that given moment and structuring your life around that. 00:19:53.301 --> 00:19:54.045 Does that make sense? 00:19:54.586 --> 00:19:55.650 Absolutely, absolutely. 00:19:56.010 --> 00:20:33.337 I love you touched on something there, because a lot of the listeners and the people who are on this podcast are entrepreneurs and I think what you mentioned there especially is, you know, especially entrepreneurs, when you're having a bad day, we're of the belief sometimes that if I don't work, I don't make money, and then we end up neglecting ourselves because the work has to get done and it's so key what you said there, because I think the body is such an intelligent being and, turning inward, I mean, spiritual business is a running. 00:20:33.611 --> 00:20:45.530 Running your business from a spiritual point of view is a totally different ball game than the model that's out there that we're used to, because the model out there says you cannot take a day off. 00:20:45.530 --> 00:21:24.821 The work has to get done and that's the only way you get clients where you know I've been where you, where you're talking about, where you're having that day and it's just you're not feeling good and you're actually feeling guilty about stuff that has to get done, but your body is saying it's okay to relax and I've seen, when I turn inward and allow myself to do that, I've actually seen how the stuff that needed to get done divine intervention just takes over Right, and it finds a way and suddenly things get done faster, they get done better, and somehow you get more out of it than you would have if you would have forced it. 00:21:25.390 --> 00:21:57.423 Absolutely, absolutely, and I think that's key what you just said, because, especially if you're looking at the world's model of how to be successful, I think when you begin to live a spiritual lifestyle and balance body, mind and soul and turning inward and becoming more self-aware, that is when you learn to connect to that which is around you and actually begin to create from there instead of from a space of fear or hustle I hate that word, I agree. 00:22:00.050 --> 00:22:03.115 The last thing I want you to do is hustle Overused. 00:22:03.115 --> 00:22:11.893 First of all, know, everybody's all about the hustle and I don't think it sends the right message to people, and I know it's, you know, a trending thing right now. 00:22:11.893 --> 00:22:16.262 But I think when you tell people to well, actually let me step back a little bit. 00:22:16.262 --> 00:22:25.340 There's also different, naturally inherent personalities that we're all born with, and I think people have to be accepting of who they are. 00:22:25.340 --> 00:22:42.076 I've recently started working with human design, which is fascinating, and I'm far from an expert, but I'm learning to understand that my body responds to certain things very differently than somebody who's a different design under the human design, and so I have to remember that. 00:22:42.076 --> 00:22:45.010 You know somebody who can I have a friend, for example, at work. 00:22:45.010 --> 00:22:49.256 He can go on two hours sleep, absolutely fine, no issues. 00:22:49.256 --> 00:22:50.721 But that's his design. 00:22:51.190 --> 00:22:58.536 My design likes to take things slow, likes to really go inward and tap into what my gut and my intuition are telling me. 00:22:58.536 --> 00:23:05.419 If I don't follow that, things are not going to go well for me, because I'm not paying attention to how I'm built. 00:23:05.419 --> 00:23:13.930 And you know there's the hustle mentality I think shames people, which is why I don't really follow that mentality. 00:23:13.930 --> 00:23:26.310 Because now, if you have somebody who isn't doing what they think they should be or accomplishing what you know, the hustle we're calling proponents is saying they should be doing. 00:23:26.310 --> 00:23:43.292 They feel one, they feel lazy, they feel as if something is wrong with them, when really, maybe that's just where they are right now and they're doing the best that they can with the resources they have and with the time and abilities that they have at that minute, and I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of. 00:23:43.292 --> 00:23:48.576 I think they should be proud of how far they've come and proud of the fact that they're doing everything they can. 00:23:50.111 --> 00:23:54.069 Absolutely love that Cause I'm with you there. 00:23:54.069 --> 00:23:56.699 I don't agree with some of the things out there. 00:23:56.699 --> 00:24:03.998 That's sort of a one size fits all for everyone, especially when it comes to transformation, because it's exactly what you said. 00:24:03.998 --> 00:24:05.113 That's actually really interesting. 00:24:05.113 -->

00:24:10.661 I'm definitely going to go research some of that, because we are we're all made I actually hate the word unique. 00:24:10.661 --> 00:24:20.111 I always say that we make the biggest mistake telling our kids that they're unique, because unique implies that you're you're different to others. 00:24:20.111 --> 00:24:22.573 Oh, I love that. 00:24:22.573 --> 00:24:23.614 I love that you say that. 00:24:23.614 --> 00:24:27.137 And it's actually not that you're unique, it's that your purpose is unique. 00:24:27.837 --> 00:24:33.544 Yes, yes, I always say to my friends we're more alike than we are different. 00:24:33.544 --> 00:24:45.702 What you see on the outside may look different, but I can guarantee you that the feelings and the emotion and the pain that's on the inside of that shell is probably the exact same as yours. 00:24:45.702 --> 00:24:47.567 The pain that's on the inside of that shell. 00:24:47.567 --> 00:24:51.849 It's probably the exact same as yours, and that's the place that I think the world needs to get to to solve a lot of the problems that we're facing also. 00:24:52.671 --> 00:24:55.760 Yeah, we're the same essence at the end of the day, the shell is just different. 00:24:55.760 --> 00:25:04.416 Yeah, exactly so if someone had to come to you right now and say, afshin, I resonate with your story. 00:25:04.416 --> 00:25:05.701 That's me. 00:25:05.701 --> 00:25:07.757 I am working myself to death. 00:25:07.757 --> 00:25:09.696 My body can't anymore. 00:25:09.696 --> 00:25:11.917 I feel like I'm going crazy. 00:25:11.917 --> 00:25:13.816 Where do they start? 00:25:13.816 --> 00:25:15.676 What would your advice be for someone like that? 00:25:16.369 --> 00:25:23.355 So the easiest thing to do is you don't want to change somebody's life drastically because it's not going to last. 00:25:23.355 --> 00:25:26.750 You don't want to change somebody's life drastically because it's not going to last. 00:25:26.750 --> 00:25:32.756 So the best thing I like to start with is add one small thing that they can do on a daily basis for at least a week. 00:25:32.756 --> 00:25:41.403 And usually I ask them you know people don't like well, not all people don't like the concept of meditation or stillness, because it forces them to sit with their thoughts. 00:25:41.403 --> 00:25:45.111 So I may not necessarily use the word meditate. 00:25:45.111 --> 00:25:57.241 I'll ask them how they feel about, you know, just sitting quietly or taking some time, five, 10 minutes for themselves every day and doing nothing, and start there. 00:25:57.241 --> 00:26:02.117 And when you pose it that way, they're less afraid of their own mind. 00:26:02.117 --> 00:26:04.122 And so I'll start them there. 00:26:04.122 --> 00:26:07.215 And then, after the first week, then we'll go to the next step. 00:26:07.215 --> 00:26:09.061 I'll ask them did you have any thoughts? 00:26:09.061 --> 00:26:11.835 What did you feel when you were doing that? 00:26:11.835 --> 00:26:17.595 And

usually I get responses to the effect of I didn't realize how much I had on my mind. 00:26:17.595 --> 00:26:20.721 I didn't know I was so stressed about my job. 00:26:20.721 --> 00:26:22.614 I didn't know I was so stressed about my kids. 00:26:22.614 --> 00:26:26.280 I didn't know that my marriage was on my mind constantly. 00:26:26.280 --> 00:26:34.199 Then you know where there's a potential source of imbalance and you talk through okay, well, let's, let's go deeper into that. 00:26:34.199 --> 00:26:35.702 What did you think about? 00:26:35.702 --> 00:26:36.971 What were your thoughts? 00:26:36.971 --> 00:26:38.234 How did that make you feel? 00:26:38.234 --> 00:26:48.564 And now do you think you're feeling that because that's actually what you believe, or is that because what's been projected towards you and what you've been raised to believe? 00:26:48.564 --> 00:27:06.063 And it's funny, when you start peeling off those little layers, everything just kind of starts to come together for people and you'll see their eyes just change from confusion to clarity and I'm sure you've seen this all the time also where all of a sudden their face just completely seems to get lighter. 00:27:06.063 --> 00:27:16.162 And I start with the stillness because I really think you have to stop the Chaos before you can do any type of actual healing or work. 00:27:17.351 --> 00:27:39.255 Then I ask them I like to give them a thought question Every week and just journal on it, and it'll depend on what is weighing heavily on their mind, because for me writing has always been a source of consolation and just getting stuff out, and I've learned a lot from my own writing and I realized that stuff that I wasn't even aware of was coming out and it helped me heal tremendously. 00:27:39.255 --> 00:27:42.684 So I try to always get people, if they're open to it, to write about their thoughts and figure out and it helped me heal tremendously. 00:27:42.684 --> 00:27:48.340 So I try to always get people, if they're open to it, to write about their thoughts and figure out where it takes them. 00:27:48.340 --> 00:27:52.519 And then the next step would be to imagine okay, these are your thoughts. 00:27:52.598 --> 00:27:55.016 Now, what do you want those thoughts to look like? 00:27:55.016 --> 00:27:59.933 Ideally, if you could have anything, what would you rather see in your life? 00:27:59.933 --> 00:28:07.143 And once they can figure out where they are, where they want to be, then it's just the process of getting them to where they want to be. 00:28:07.143 --> 00:28:14.366 And usually, once people define what they want, it's much easier to get them there than you would think it would be. 00:28:15.911 --> 00:28:23.825 That's beautiful and I think that's easy enough to implement as well for someone especially that's not used to doing things like this. 00:28:24.329 --> 00:28:29.134 Yeah, and most of the people I deal with are not, because they are like me. 00:28:29.134 --> 00:28:31.017

They're high achievers. 00:28:31.017 --> 00:28:39.885 They're always going, going, going, and 10 years ago, if somebody would have said to me I think you should journal on this, I would have looked at them like they had two heads. 00:28:39.885 --> 00:28:40.507 I don't journal. 00:28:40.507 --> 00:28:41.432 What are you talking about? 00:28:41.432 --> 00:28:51.679 That's what I'm paying you for, exactly, and so I think the baby steps are key and just letting them know that they're heard. 00:28:51.679 --> 00:29:11.155 I really think, at the end of the day, everybody just wants to be heard, and so even if I just let them talk with minimal guidance and just kind of keep them on track, but don't impose too many of my questions, sometimes that releases more than anything else that they're doing on their own, and I think that's so important. 00:29:11.155 --> 00:29:13.980 Just let them feel secure, safe and heard. 00:29:13.980 --> 00:29:17.279 Those are my big things, that's beautiful. 00:29:18.030 --> 00:29:21.320 So you spoke a little bit about some of your daily practices. 00:29:21.320 --> 00:29:36.912 Can I ask you to give our listeners sort of your favorite practical daily practice that you feel is one of the most powerful things that you can do to achieve a balanced body, mind and soul in any given day? 00:29:37.714 --> 00:29:38.799 Yes, absolutely. 00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:43.654 So the first thing I do is I start with the stillness while I'm still in bed. 00:29:43.654 --> 00:29:47.343 You know, I sit up in my bed and everything is quiet. 00:29:47.343 --> 00:29:58.921 I get up very early I do get up at five, so there's really not much noise anywhere at that point and so I just listen to the stillness and I really let my body absorb it. 00:29:58.921 --> 00:30:00.663 And then I try to figure out. 00:30:00.663 --> 00:30:07.462 You know, right now, for example, my adrenals and my stomach have been still acting up a little bit. 00:30:07.462 --> 00:30:11.439 So I'll hold my hands on my stomach and I'll tell my stomach I love you. 00:30:12.161 --> 00:30:15.494 I know I haven't always been kind to you, but I'm here for you. 00:30:15.494 --> 00:30:26.090 And even when I don't properly honor you, please know it's not because I don't love you, it's because I haven't been as focused as I should have been, but I will always do my best to be there for you. 00:30:26.090 --> 00:30:30.291 So, whatever body part it is, you know whether it's your mind, whether it's your heart. 00:30:30.291 --> 00:30:31.457 There was your heart. 00:30:31.457 --> 00:30:42.054 You put your hands over your heart and I just take five minutes and I do that and just give gratitude and love for my own body, everything that it's done for me to this day, because I don't think we do that enough. 00:30:42.054 --> 00:30:45.971 You know, we put our bodies through so much, but we forget to thank them. 00:30:45.971 --> 00:30:53.135 So I thank my body on a daily basis for everything it's done for me to date, everything that it's still going to do. 00:30:53.717 --> 00:31:00.261 And then the next thing I do is I just kind of sit and I visualize my day for the next five minutes and I let myself smile. 00:31:00.261 --> 00:31:06.974 I see good things happening and sometimes I honestly just laugh because I'll imagine really funny things happening. 00:31:06.974 --> 00:31:19.955 And by that time it's been a good 20 minutes that I'm just sitting there and letting myself be, still imagine happy thoughts and thanking myself for everything that I've been through and will continue to do. 00:31:19.955 --> 00:31:22.162 And that all before I get up. 00:31:22.162 --> 00:31:26.693 And then, once I get up, the one crazy thing I do is take a cold shower. 00:31:26.693 --> 00:31:37.711 And that's more of a mental thing for me, because anything that happens at that point later in the day I look back and if I start to feel stressed, I say are you crazy? 00:31:37.711 --> 00:31:41.557 You've got this, you've got an ice cold shower today. 00:31:42.398 --> 00:31:47.471 Everything just kind of dissipates and I'm fine be honest, do you do that even in winter? 00:31:47.471 --> 00:31:49.775 Because I have been in New York in winter time. 00:31:49.875 --> 00:31:57.436 It is so cold there yes, the only I didn't do today because I ran outside and it was like 20 degrees. 00:31:57.436 --> 00:32:06.855 I I was like I'm going to replace my ice cold shower with a 20 degree run today and I came back and my hands are like thawed and I'm like all right, I probably shouldn't push you with ice cold shower. 00:32:06.855 --> 00:32:08.119 That might be overdoing it a little bit. 00:32:08.119 --> 00:32:09.732 I do have to remember self-care. 00:32:09.732 --> 00:32:10.674 That's what I'm about. 00:32:13.339 --> 00:32:14.482 So what is your main reason? 00:32:14.482 --> 00:32:19.015 I've heard a lot of things about the ice cold shower in the morning, sort of why people do that. 00:32:19.015 --> 00:32:20.356 What is your reason for doing it? 00:32:20.876 --> 00:32:29.753 mine is one to remind me that I have this amazing body that can withstand anything it has with so much. 00:32:29.753 --> 00:32:31.176 And you know, no matter. 00:32:31.176 --> 00:32:42.084 You know there's people facing so much more than I am as far as health, and I know I'm dealing with a lot on the health end, but it reminds me that, look, there's people who have it so much worse. 00:32:42.084 --> 00:32:51.155 So, no matter what, be grateful that this body that's being hit with these ice, cold water pellets right now has done so much for you and it's still standing here. 00:32:51.155 --> 00:32:54.597 And the other part of it is the mental resilience. 00:32:55.298 --> 00:32:56.041 I hate the cold. 00:32:56.041 --> 00:32:57.692 I hate anything related to ice. 00:32:57.692 --> 00:32:58.011 I hate the cold. 00:32:58.011 --> 00:32:58.932 I hate anything related to ice. 00:32:58.932 --> 00:33:12.386 So I do it to remind myself

that if you really want to get somewhere that you want to be, which right now my goal is to get to the point where I'm fully healthy and I'm helping others get to that same place I'm going to have to be uncomfortable. 00:33:12.386 --> 00:33:28.051 I can't always just sit back and wait for things to happen without facing my fears, without taking that step outside of my comfort zone, to happen without facing my fears, without taking that step outside of my comfort zone and that ice, cold shower reminds me that I can do that because I'm doing it every morning. 00:33:28.071 --> 00:33:29.213 Okay, that's fantastic. 00:33:29.213 --> 00:33:33.259 I must be honest, I'm not sure if I would do the cold shower. 00:33:33.259 --> 00:33:37.523 I will try it at least once you know what? 00:33:37.683 --> 00:33:39.625 Start small, just like everything else. 00:33:39.625 --> 00:33:43.232 Start with 10 seconds. 00:33:43.232 --> 00:33:44.556 Okay, that with 10 seconds. 00:33:44.556 --> 00:33:45.538 Okay that I can do that I can do. 00:33:45.557 --> 00:33:56.104 That's how I started, and then I worked myself up to two minutes okay, all right, I'll begin that now that it's still summer, here we go. 00:33:56.104 --> 00:33:59.436 So, afshin, thank you so much. 00:33:59.436 --> 00:34:02.344 It's been lovely having you on the Breakthrough Podcast. 00:34:02.344 --> 00:34:13.143 I learned a lot, and I'm sure that the listeners learned just as much from you, and if they wanted to know a little bit more and get in touch with you, how and where can they do that? 00:34:13.952 --> 00:34:15.528 They can find me on Instagram. 00:34:15.528 --> 00:34:22.911 I'm at Afshin Shah, and I also have my own website, afshinshahcom, and I'm also on Facebook. 00:34:22.911 --> 00:34:37.322 I tend to use Instagram and my website a little bit more, so those are probably the best ways to reach me, but I'm always open and willing to help anybody that has questions or just needs to even reflect a little bit and get some input on something. 00:34:37.342 --> 00:34:42.059 Okay, fantastic guys, and I will leave that information for you in the show notes as well. 00:34:42.059 --> 00:34:44.597 Afshin, again, thank you so much. 00:34:44.597 --> 00:34:50.798 Thank you for the work you do as well for being a change agent and a light worker in this world. 00:34:50.798 --> 00:34:55.702 I appreciate souls like you and we'll definitely have you back, hopefully again soon. 00:34:56.469 --> 00:34:58.217 Absolutely, and thank you as well. 00:34:58.217 --> 00:35:15.302 It's always a pleasure to talk to a fellow sister of the light. 00:35:15.742 --> 00:35:19.726 Use this warmth that could make brighter lives. 00:35:19.726 --> 00:35:27.157 In all of us, in our hearts, there's love and light that we must realize. 00:35:27.157 --> 00:35:29.208 We need to feel. 00:35:29.208 --> 00:35:35.077 We need to use this warmth that could make brighter lives. 00:35:35.077 --> 00:35:40.739 I believe in our hearts that our lives will be to your liking. 00:35:40.739 --> 00:35:41.943 I believe I'm a mess good. 00:35:41.943 --> 00:35:42.869 I have live a life a mess to live. 00:35:42.869 --> 00:35:48.804 I'm a mess good. 00:35:48.804 --> 00:35:49.766 I have feel good. 00:35:49.766 --> 00:35:50.387 Feel good I'm a mess. 00:35:50.387 --> 00:35:54.800 I'm a mess good. 00:35:54.800 --> 00:35:57.947 I have live a life a mess to live. 00:35:57.947 --> 00:35:59.833 Need some fuel. 00:35:59.833 --> 00:36:00.735 Need some of you. 00:36:00.735 --> 00:36:02.139 I'm making some of you. 00:36:02.139 --> 00:36:03.302 This is my fight. 00:36:03.302 --> 00:36:08.947 Give me back my life.