ТРАНСКРИПЦИЯ 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:47.910 --> 00:00:55.189
Welcome to Transformative Living Radio, where we explore the power of intentional change for personal growth and fulfillment.
00:00:55.350 --> 00:00:59.670
I'm Andre Flax, your host and certified life and leadership coach.
00:00:59.910 --> 00:01:04.629
Now, there's an old story about a man who spent years searching for treasure.
00:01:04.870 --> 00:01:16.549
He traveled from city to city, climbed mountains, crossed deserts, spent every waking moment trying to find the one thing he believed would finally make him feel whole.
00:01:16.790 --> 00:01:24.629
And after years of searching, tired and discouraged, he met an old wise man sitting quietly beneath the tree.
00:01:24.870 --> 00:01:28.789
The young man asked, Can you tell me where the treasure is?
00:01:29.270 --> 00:01:33.590
And the old man smiled and said something that stunned the young man.
00:01:33.750 --> 00:01:41.349
He said, The treasure has always been buried beneath the house you've been living in your entire life.
00:01:41.670 --> 00:01:44.390
Now I want you to think about that for a moment.
00:01:45.189 --> 00:01:57.269
How many people spend their entire lives searching outside themselves for confidence, for peace, for worthiness, for abundance, for love, and for validation.
00:01:57.510 --> 00:02:05.590
Not realizing the very thing they're searching for begins within the self they've never truly examined.
00:02:06.070 --> 00:02:08.790
Because here's the greatest mystery in life.
00:02:09.030 --> 00:02:14.310
It's not the world around you, it's the world within you.
00:02:14.710 --> 00:02:21.909
And so today I want to talk about what Nepal Goddard and his mystic teacher Abdullah call discovering self.
00:02:22.389 --> 00:02:37.829
Not the personality you show the world, not the mask you wear to survive, not even the roles you learn to play, but the deeper self, the hidden self, the unconscious identity quietly shaping your entire life.
00:02:38.069 --> 00:02:48.069
Because according to Neville Goddard, the life you experience externally is simply the mirror of the self you have internally accepted as true.
00:02:48.389 --> 00:02:59.990
And if you don't learn to discover that self, you'll unconsciously continue recreating the same fears, limitations, doubts, and patterns over and over again.
00:03:00.550 --> 00:03:04.870
So grab a pin and a pad, and if you're ready, let's begin.
00:03:06.709 --> 00:03:11.589
Hello and welcome to another empowering episode of Transformative Living Radio.
00:03:11.750 --> 00:03:16.149
I'm Andre Flax, your host and certified life and leadership coach.
00:03:16.470 --> 00:03:26.949
You know, there comes a moment in life when you realize that the greatest battles you've ever fought was never really with the outside world or the world around you.
00:03:27.189 --> 00:03:33.670
It was with the version of yourself you unconsciously became while trying to survive it.
00:03:34.310 --> 00:03:37.350
And I've been thinking deeply about that lately.
00:03:37.750 --> 00:03:52.709
Because when I look back over my own life, growing up in Camden, New Jersey, growing up poor, watching my mother struggle to raise seven children by herself, I realize now that poverty was doing more than affecting our environment.
00:03:52.949 --> 00:03:54.709
It was shaping identity.
00:03:54.870 --> 00:04:00.310
It was teaching us something about ourselves long before we were old enough to challenge it.
00:04:00.790 --> 00:04:08.709
I remember what it felt like walking into school wearing clothes that made you feel invisible even before you spoke a word.
00:04:09.269 --> 00:04:14.550
I remember the quiet embarrassment, the comparisons, the internal shrinking.
00:04:14.790 --> 00:04:27.110
And what's interesting is when you grow up in a certain environment long enough, you don't just experience limitations externally, you start building an identity around it internally.
00:04:27.829 --> 00:04:34.470
You begin to unconsciously accept ideas like maybe people like me don't get ahead.
00:04:39.189 --> 00:04:41.430
Or maybe I'm not enough.
00:04:41.670 --> 00:04:52.629
And what I've learned over the years is this a person can physically leave poverty while mentally remaining trapped inside the consciousness of limitations.
00:04:53.430 --> 00:04:56.629
That's why I wanted to have this conversation today.
00:04:56.870 --> 00:05:17.270
Because one of the deepest truths I've ever encountered is the idea that there's a secret self operating underneath most people's lives, a hidden identity, an unconscious version of ourselves quietly shaping the way we think, feel, react, speak, dream, love, receive, and move through the world.
00:05:17.670 --> 00:05:26.710
And until that self is discovered, we keep recreating the same emotional patterns no matter how badly we want life to change.
00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:30.069
And that's what I want to explore today.
00:05:30.710 --> 00:05:36.949
Not surface motivation, not empty positivity, not justing better thoughts.
00:05:37.350 --> 00:05:39.430
I want to talk about the deeper work.
00:05:39.910 --> 00:05:43.590
The work of discovering who you have unconsciously become.
00:05:44.390 --> 00:05:52.230
Because many people don't realize this, but your life will often mirror the identity you secretly carry inside yourself.
00:05:52.790 --> 00:06:01.030
Not the one you post online, not the one you perform in front of others, the one you truly believe yourself to be.
00:06:01.990 --> 00:06:09.670
And years ago, when I first began studying these deeper principles of consciousness and identity, something hit me hard.
00:06:09.910 --> 00:06:19.110
I realized I had spent years trying to improve my life externally while still carrying an internal identity built around limitation.
00:06:19.830 --> 00:06:22.710
I wanted confidence, but felt less than.
00:06:50.870 --> 00:06:55.509
Because you cannot transform a self you refuse to acknowledge.
00:06:56.069 --> 00:07:04.069
Load full transcript
And one of the things that changed my life was learning how to observe myself honestly without condemning myself in the process.
00:07:04.310 --> 00:07:05.590
And that's important.
00:07:05.990 --> 00:07:14.310
Because many people become aware of their fear, their insecurity, their self-doubt, and immediately begin attacking themselves for it.
00:07:14.550 --> 00:07:21.509
But true transformation doesn't begin with shame, it begins with honesty, real honesty.
00:07:21.750 --> 00:07:31.830
The kind of honesty where you finally sit quiet with yourself long enough to admit I've been carrying beliefs about myself that no longer serve my future.
00:07:32.069 --> 00:07:35.670
Now that's not weakness, that's awakening.
00:07:35.910 --> 00:07:42.470
And if I'm honest, I think many of us inherit identities before we ever consciously chose them.
00:07:42.949 --> 00:07:53.430
Some people inherit fear, some inherit scarcity, some inherit emotional survival, some inherit silence, some inherit unworthiness.
00:07:53.670 --> 00:07:57.750
And then life reinforces those identities through experiences.
00:07:58.310 --> 00:08:10.550
Rejection reinforces it, failure reinforces it, trauma reinforces it, comparisons reinforce it, until eventually identity becomes automatic.
00:08:10.790 --> 00:08:16.390
And once that happens, you stop questioning it because it feels familiar.
00:08:16.710 --> 00:08:19.830
And that's where so many people are living right now.
00:08:20.069 --> 00:08:24.150
Not from intention, but from unconscious identity.
00:08:24.790 --> 00:08:28.069
And you could see it in the way people react to opportunities.
00:08:28.310 --> 00:08:31.670
Someone compliments them and they immediately deflect it.
00:08:31.910 --> 00:08:38.470
Someone offers them a big opportunity and the first thought becomes, I'm probably not qualified.
00:08:39.029 --> 00:08:44.069
Someone starts building momentum in life and suddenly self-sabotage shows up.
00:08:44.309 --> 00:08:53.830
Not because they consciously want to fail, but because the old self feels safer than the unknown version of themselves they're trying to become.
00:08:54.069 --> 00:08:56.870
And I had to confront this in my own life.
00:08:57.110 --> 00:09:20.870
I had to realize that even after achieving success professionally, even after leading teams, even after accomplishing goals, there were still areas where the younger version of me was still quietly operating beneath the surface, still seeking validation, still fearing failure, still questioning worthiness.
00:09:21.509 --> 00:09:26.389
And the truth is, achievement doesn't automatically heal identity.
00:09:26.789 --> 00:09:29.909
That inner work has to be intentional.
00:09:30.469 --> 00:09:39.509
You have to become aware of the voice operating underneath your life, the self behind the behavior, the identity behind the decision.
00:09:39.750 --> 00:09:45.990
Because whatever identity you consistently rehearse emotionally eventually becomes your reality.
00:09:46.469 --> 00:10:00.229
And you know, the more I reflect on this over the years, the more I realize that transformation is not really about adding something to yourself, it's about removing what never truly belonged to you in the first place.
00:10:00.549 --> 00:10:11.589
The fear, the shame, the limiting assumptions, the emotional conditioning, the false identities you inherited while trying to survive difficult seasons of life.
00:10:11.829 --> 00:10:18.229
Because if we're honest, a lot of us were taught limitation before we ever learned possibility.
00:10:18.549 --> 00:10:31.909
Some people grew up watching stress become normal, watching parents struggle financially, watching relationships break down, watching fear, survival, and anxiety shape the emotional atmosphere of the home.
00:10:32.149 --> 00:10:38.789
And as children, we absorb environments emotionally before we ever understand them intellectually.
00:10:39.110 --> 00:10:45.110
That means many people enter adulthood carrying emotional patterns they never consciously chose.
00:10:45.669 --> 00:10:54.870
Patterns around worthiness, patterns around trust, patterns around abundance, patterns around visibility, and patterns around love.
00:10:55.110 --> 00:11:00.149
And for years they don't even realize that those patterns are operating.
00:11:00.549 --> 00:11:02.949
They just think this is who I am.
00:11:03.189 --> 00:11:05.509
But maybe it isn't who you are.
00:11:05.750 --> 00:11:08.709
Maybe it's who you've learned to become.
00:11:09.189 --> 00:11:11.829
And that's a whole different conversation.
00:11:12.389 --> 00:11:25.110
And I think one of the most powerful moments in a person's life is when they finally realize I don't have to continue emotionally identifying with every version of myself that pain created.
00:11:25.669 --> 00:11:28.549
That realization is liberating.
00:11:29.029 --> 00:11:34.389
Because too many people carry identities that were formed in moments of hurt.
00:11:34.709 --> 00:11:37.669
A betrayal created a guarded self.
00:11:37.909 --> 00:11:40.629
Failure created a fearful self.
00:11:40.949 --> 00:11:43.669
Poverty created a limited self.
00:11:43.990 --> 00:11:46.789
Rejection created an insecure self.
00:11:47.029 --> 00:11:52.870
And over time, they stop seeing those responses as temporary adaptations.
00:11:53.589 --> 00:11:57.189
They start seeing them as permanent identities.
00:11:57.509 --> 00:12:02.309
But healing begins when you finally separate yourself from the conditioning.
00:12:02.629 --> 00:12:09.429
You begin to understand, I experience fear, but fear is not my identity.
00:12:09.909 --> 00:12:13.909
I experience struggle, but struggle is not who I am.
00:12:14.149 --> 00:12:19.029
I experience rejection, but rejection does not define my worth.
00:12:19.269 --> 00:12:21.589
That changes everything internally.
00:12:22.069 --> 00:12:25.990
And I think this is where the conversation becomes deeply personal.
00:12:26.229 --> 00:12:38.149
Because at some point, every person has to decide whether they're going to continue living from the old emotional conditioning or consciously begin creating new relationships with themselves.
00:12:38.389 --> 00:12:45.110
And I'll tell you something I've learned through the years of personal growth, leadership, coaching, and life experience.
00:12:45.349 --> 00:12:50.069
And that is most people are not being stopped by the lack of potential.
00:12:50.309 --> 00:12:54.870
They're being stopped by the identity they keep emotionally returning to.
00:12:55.349 --> 00:12:57.269
That's the real battle.
00:12:57.509 --> 00:13:00.309
Not capability, but identity.
00:13:00.629 --> 00:13:08.949
Because if someone unconsciously believes they are unworthy, they will struggle receiving opportunities that require worthiness.
00:13:09.269 --> 00:13:17.269
If someone unconsciously identifies with rejection, they will constantly interpret life through fear of abandonment.
00:13:17.589 --> 00:13:24.709
If someone unconsciously identifies with struggle, peace can actually feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
00:13:25.110 --> 00:13:30.549
That's why inner transformation is not surface level work, it's identity work.
00:13:30.870 --> 00:13:36.469
You are literally learning how to stop emotionally living from old assumptions about yourself.
00:13:36.709 --> 00:13:39.909
And that process requires intentionality.
00:13:40.229 --> 00:13:43.990
Because the old self does not disappear automatically.
00:13:44.229 --> 00:13:47.990
It tries to pull you back into emotional familiarity.
00:13:48.229 --> 00:13:56.229
That's why people can have a breakthrough moment and then suddenly find themselves emotionally slipping back into old thinking patterns again.
00:13:56.469 --> 00:14:02.789
Not because they failed, but because the old identity was emotionally practiced for years.
00:14:03.429 --> 00:14:07.909
Now, some people have rehearsed limitations internally for decades.
00:14:08.389 --> 00:14:17.509
They have decades of self-doubt, decades of insecurity, decades of emotional survival, decades of negative internal conversations.
00:14:17.829 --> 00:14:23.429
They rehearse this so naturally, the new self can feel unfamiliar at first.
00:14:23.669 --> 00:14:26.549
But unfamiliar doesn't mean false.
00:14:26.870 --> 00:14:35.909
Sometimes growth feels uncomfortable simply because your nervous system is encountering a healthier identity than the one it became accustomed to.
00:14:36.229 --> 00:14:40.629
And if you don't understand that, you'll mistake discomfort for failure.
00:14:40.949 --> 00:14:44.469
But discomfort is often part of expansion.
00:14:44.789 --> 00:14:48.229
So let's transition into something more practical now.
00:14:48.549 --> 00:14:53.669
Because awareness is powerful, but applied awareness is transformational.
00:14:54.629 --> 00:14:58.629
One of the first things I had to learn on my own journey was this.
00:14:59.110 --> 00:15:03.750
You cannot change an identity, you continue rehearsing emotionally every day.
00:15:03.990 --> 00:15:05.750
Let me say that again.
00:15:06.149 --> 00:15:11.669
You cannot change an identity you continue rehearsing emotionally every day.
00:15:12.069 --> 00:15:20.389
So I want to leave you with several practices that can help you begin discovering and transforming the hidden self operating underneath your life.
00:15:21.429 --> 00:15:25.269
First, pay attention to your automatic reactions.
00:15:26.229 --> 00:15:30.309
You see, reactions reveal identity faster than words do.
00:15:30.709 --> 00:15:34.389
Watch what happens internally when life stretches you.
00:15:34.629 --> 00:15:37.509
What happens when opportunities appear?
00:15:37.750 --> 00:15:40.069
What happens when you make a mistake?
00:15:40.309 --> 00:15:43.829
What happens when success starts to get closer?
00:15:44.229 --> 00:15:45.429
Do you contract?
00:15:46.149 --> 00:15:47.189
Do you panic?
00:15:47.669 --> 00:15:49.990
Do you immediately assume the worse?
00:15:50.629 --> 00:15:55.669
You see, those reactions reveal the emotional conditioning beneath the surface.
00:15:56.309 --> 00:16:01.589
Now the second practice is learning how to observe your inner conversations throughout the day.
00:16:01.990 --> 00:16:04.149
Listen to the way you speak to yourself.
00:16:04.949 --> 00:16:11.509
Do you say things like, I'm behind, I'm not ready, I'll probably fail, I'm not good enough.
00:16:12.069 --> 00:16:17.669
Those internal statements matter because eventually repeated thoughts become identity.
00:16:18.709 --> 00:16:24.870
Now the third practice is learning how to sit in the stillness long enough to hear yourself clearly.
00:16:25.349 --> 00:16:28.549
You see, silence reveals things.
00:16:28.870 --> 00:16:35.429
It reveals hidden anxiety, hidden insecurity, hidden exhaustion, hidden fear.
00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:43.269
And honestly, some of the deepest breakthroughs in my life happen in quiet moments where I became honest with myself.
00:16:43.669 --> 00:16:49.110
The fourth practice is learning how to emotionally separate yourself from old identities.
00:16:49.669 --> 00:16:52.069
You see, you are not your fear.
00:16:52.389 --> 00:16:54.389
You are not your insecurity.
00:16:54.629 --> 00:16:56.789
You are not your past conditioning.
00:16:57.029 --> 00:17:03.029
Now you may have experienced those things, but they are not the deepest truth of who you are.
00:17:03.750 --> 00:17:06.470
Now, another powerful practice is this.
00:17:10.950 --> 00:17:17.110
You see, some people have built entire identities around past mistakes and painful seasons.
00:17:17.589 --> 00:17:19.990
But I want you to hear me carefully.
00:17:20.549 --> 00:17:27.990
You are not required to remain psychologically loyal to the lowest version of yourself you've ever experienced.
00:17:28.309 --> 00:17:29.670
Let me say that again.
00:17:29.990 --> 00:17:37.269
You are not required to remain psychologically loyal to the lowest
version of yourself you've ever experienced.
00:17:37.670 --> 00:17:39.829
You have permission to evolve.
00:17:40.150 --> 00:17:47.190
And finally, begin asking yourself throughout the day, what would the heel version of me choose right now?
00:17:47.750 --> 00:17:55.269
Not the fearful version, not the insecure version, not the survival version, the heal version.
00:17:56.230 --> 00:18:00.870
That one question alone can begin shifting your consciousness over time.
00:18:01.509 --> 00:18:10.950
And as we begin bringing this conversation towards a close, I want to leave you with something I believe sits at the center of all real transformation.
00:18:11.509 --> 00:18:19.990
And that is this you cannot become free while remaining emotionally attached to identities that were built in pain.
00:18:20.550 --> 00:18:27.750
At some point, you have to decide that survival is no longer going to be the thing that leads your life.
00:18:27.990 --> 00:18:39.350
And I know that's deep because many people have spent so much of their time surviving emotionally that they don't even know what it feels like to truly live from peace internally.
00:18:39.990 --> 00:18:47.910
They know how to worry, how to embrace disappointment, how to expect struggle, but peace feels unfamiliar.
00:18:48.230 --> 00:18:53.430
Receiving feels unfamiliar, trusting themselves feels unfamiliar.
00:18:53.670 --> 00:19:00.230
And when something healthier starts emerging in their life, the old self becomes uncomfortable.
00:19:00.470 --> 00:19:07.269
Not because the new life is wrong, but because the old identity no longer knows how to exist there.
00:19:07.509 --> 00:19:12.070
That's why growth can feel emotionally disoriented sometimes.
00:19:12.310 --> 00:19:20.310
Because part of you is expanding while another part is grieving the identity it can no longer remain loyal to.
00:19:20.789 --> 00:19:24.470
And I want somebody listening today to hear this clearly.
00:19:24.710 --> 00:19:29.430
You are allowed to outgrow the identity your survival season created.
00:19:29.750 --> 00:19:34.070
You are allowed to evolve beyond the emotional patterns you inherited.
00:19:34.310 --> 00:19:38.710
You are allowed to become emotionally healthier than the past.
00:19:39.110 --> 00:19:42.310
And maybe that's what true transformation really is.
00:19:42.870 --> 00:19:54.230
Not becoming somebody completely different, but finally becoming conscious enough to separate yourself from the false identities you consciously accepted along the way.
00:19:54.710 --> 00:20:03.990
Because underneath the fear, underneath the insecurity, underneath the conditioning, there's still a deeper self waiting to emerge.
00:20:04.230 --> 00:20:10.070
A calmer self, a wiser self, a freer self, a more grounded self.
00:20:10.230 --> 00:20:15.110
And the beautiful thing is, that self already exists within you.
00:20:15.269 --> 00:20:18.550
It's not something you have to force into existence.
00:20:18.710 --> 00:20:21.509
It's something you uncover through awareness.
00:20:21.830 --> 00:20:25.910
Little by little, moment by moment, choice by choice.
00:20:26.310 --> 00:20:32.950
So after this episode ends, I want you to take a few quiet moments and honestly reflect.
00:20:33.430 --> 00:20:38.710
Ask yourself, what identities have I been unconsciously carrying?
00:20:39.190 --> 00:20:44.710
What emotional patterns no longer align with the life I want to create?
00:20:45.190 --> 00:20:49.430
What version of myself am I finally ready to release?
00:20:49.670 --> 00:20:51.910
And who am I now becoming?
00:20:52.390 --> 00:20:54.710
I want you to sit with those questions.
00:20:55.029 --> 00:20:57.830
Because awareness creates transformation.
00:20:58.310 --> 00:21:02.150
And transformation always begins from within.
00:21:03.830 --> 00:21:05.670
Well, that's our show for today.
00:21:05.910 --> 00:21:10.150
We hope that you found this episode both insightful and inspiring.
00:21:10.390 --> 00:21:17.990
Join us each week for practical tips, actionable insights, and inspiring stories to help you transform your life.
00:21:18.230 --> 00:21:19.830
We hope you can join us.
00:21:19.990 --> 00:21:21.590
We'll see you soon.
00:21:21.990 --> 00:21:30.230
To experience a free coaching session with Andre Flax, click the link in the show notes or contact him at Andre at Transformative LivingRadio.com.
00:21:30.390 --> 00:21:35.670
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a comment wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe.