Пълният препис на Change the 3 Ego Patterns Blocking Your Best Life – Emma Solo (Ep.38)

force things in that regard. 00:05:48.244 --> 00:05:58.480 Or we have these expectations and this disappointment and this judgment going on, and the way that we show up with the defenses with this one is the fight right. 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:02.247 So we assert ourselves too strongly. 00:06:02.247 --> 00:06:03.910 It's almost aggressive. 00:06:03.910 --> 00:06:20.387 It's not necessarily assertive in a good way that we assert over, power over, we control right or we manage, which is a little similar to the next one, but there's a nuance here that I'm going to describe. 00:06:20.769 --> 00:06:23.682 The next one is called pattern. 00:06:23.682 --> 00:06:25.689 Number three is called the control pattern. 00:06:25.689 --> 00:06:33.449 This one has to do with believing that we have to make things happen, so it's not necessarily being attached to an outcome, how things should be. 00:06:33.449 --> 00:06:40.093 Like the first, like the one before, but this one has to do with we have to make things happen. 00:06:40.093 --> 00:06:42.226 We are in charge of everything. 00:06:42.226 --> 00:06:48.348 If it wasn't for us, we are responsible for things, we take on all the people's things. 00:06:48.348 --> 00:06:54.413 This is where the codependence really shows up. 00:06:54.413 --> 00:07:05.456 And with this one the feelings are fear, anxiety, worry, nervousness, like those kinds of feelings. 00:07:05.456 --> 00:07:13.949 And the way that we deal with that is by being controlling, micromanaging, over-functioning, taking care of everything, like that kind of stuff. 00:07:13.949 --> 00:07:20.252 And the defense mechanism that goes with this also is the freeze. 00:07:20.252 --> 00:07:25.910 So if we're controlling, managing, really over-orchestrating, we get ourselves stuck. 00:07:27.533 --> 00:07:33.932 Okay, so those are the three lack, attachment and control. 00:07:33.932 --> 00:07:41.733 And let's see, I think I covered the nuance enough for between attachment and control. 00:07:41.733 --> 00:07:48.850 So attachment again just to make sure that I'm being clear is having an attachment to an outcome. 00:07:48.850 --> 00:07:53.295 Control is about I have to make it happen, right? 00:07:53.295 --> 00:07:59.350 So feeling like you're responsible for it, like it's in your sphere of control. 00:07:59.350 --> 00:08:02.225 The other one is like you have the expectations of others too. 00:08:02.225 --> 00:08:06.088 They could make it happen and you want to be a certain way. 00:08:06.088 --> 00:08:09.649 So that's the little difference there. 00:08:09.649 --> 00:08:11.021 Okay? 00:08:11.021 --> 00:08:22.211 So if those are the three ego patterns, then I'm sure you could probably already see how this plays out in your relationship, right? 00:08:22.211 --> 00:08:24.387 So let's run them through. 00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:30.350 So if I have the lack mentality one, no matter what my husband does, it's never going to be good enough. 00:08:30.350 --> 00:08:44.048 Let's say how he does the chores, what kind of gifts he gives, how he shows up in his parenting, how he dresses, I don't know whatever. 00:08:44.048 --> 00:08:44.308 Right? 00:08:44.308 --> 00:08:48.686 Like, no matter what the partner does, it's never going to be good enough. 00:08:48.686 --> 00:08:50.706 There's always something that we could find faults with. 00:08:50.706 --> 00:08:52.647 It's never they're never going to measure up. 00:08:52.647 --> 00:08:57.788 That's the lens that we're keeping on, and not just of the other person, but also of ourselves. 00:08:57.788 --> 00:08:59.399 So the same thing for us, right? 00:08:59.399 --> 00:09:15.392 No matter how much what we do and how much we do, it's never good enough and we feel like we could have done more, that we could have done it better that it didn't fully land, that it didn't fully click, that we didn't do enough, that what we do is not good enough, those kinds of things. 00:09:15.392 --> 00:09:32.892 With that one I'm sure you could imagine the state of being that we would be in in a constant state of loss, like we never have what we need Loneliness, not good enoughness, just sad. 00:09:33.961 --> 00:09:50.216 And then we deal with that by, however we deal with that, the attachment one, when we are attached to the outcomes, we want things done a certain way, by a certain time, our way. 00:09:50.216 --> 00:10:03.163 We are entitled we all know the people like this is how people should behave, this is what's appropriate, this is what people should do. 00:10:03.163 --> 00:10:04.207 This is what you should do for me. 00:10:04.207 --> 00:10:07.815 This is what I should be getting right, like that kind of stuff. 00:10:07.815 --> 00:10:09.561 This is what my partner should be doing for me. 00:10:09.561 --> 00:10:10.764 This is what a husband does. 00:10:10.764 --> 00:10:17.581 My husband should take out the garbage every night by eight o'clock. 00:10:17.581 --> 00:10:23.865 I'm just making this stuff up so that kind of like really attached to how things should be. 00:10:25.807 --> 00:10:37.616 And then with the control, that one's a little trickier because then, because we know that we can't get what we want, then we do it, we overdo it, right. 00:10:37.616 --> 00:10:43.674 So we make sure the garbage goes out, or we nag the heck out of our husband's partners to go do it. 00:10:43.674 --> 00:10:44.259 Right, we're on top of it. 00:10:44.259 --> 00:10:47.726 I suppose we just that's their chore, chore that's for them to take care of. 00:10:47.726 --> 00:10:51.701 Like we are overseeing or managing, over, orchestrating. 00:10:51.701 --> 00:11:04.826 Um, they might do a chore and we go behind and fixing it or redoing it, or we didn't even ask for help because we do it better, so we do it all. 00:11:04.826 --> 00:11:11.755 But so when we operate from that place and we are fearful that we're going to be laid down, then we step into it. 00:11:11.755 --> 00:11:13.360 We're constantly doing it. 00:11:13.380

--> 00:11:19.511 This is where the overwhelm, the anxiety, the stress, the chaos, all that stuff kind of comes in, because it's too much. 00:11:19.511 --> 00:11:24.048 Right, we can't take care of all, and then it takes a toll. 00:11:24.048 --> 00:11:26.024 Right, we can't take care of all, and then it takes a toll. 00:11:26.024 --> 00:11:30.613 So that's just more, more targeted or more applied to how it might show up in your relationship. 00:11:30.613 --> 00:11:47.336 And so what happens is that when we have those scripts and those stories playing out and those, those way of processing the field, those filters, processing our experience, that's what we see Right, if that's how we look at things. 00:11:47.336 --> 00:11:49.461 That's what we see right, if that's how we look at things. 00:11:49.461 --> 00:11:50.485 That's the reality that we're creating. 00:11:50.504 --> 00:11:53.893 Somebody else might look at the same thing very differently and not even see what you're talking about. 00:11:53.893 --> 00:11:55.466 Very common, right? 00:11:55.466 --> 00:12:03.803 So I work with so many couples and I hear so many stories that it's really funny when one couple might be okay with another couple's totally not okay with. 00:12:03.803 --> 00:12:06.047 It's really funny, like when one couple might be okay with another couple's totally not okay with. 00:12:06.047 --> 00:12:18.740 So like I see it play out by just comparing couples and also within the couple, right Between the partners, what gets me might not necessarily get my husband and vice versa for sure, right? 00:12:18.740 --> 00:12:31.490 So what we want to do with this is be aware of what our filter is, see if we could identify which one of these patterns plays out for us. 00:12:31.490 --> 00:12:40.374 We could have one or all three of them, and then what we want to do is kind of take a step back and take a look at this. 00:12:41.259 --> 00:12:42.664 Okay, so these are my patterns. 00:12:42.664 --> 00:12:45.879 Or this is my pattern, or this is my prevalent pattern. 00:12:45.879 --> 00:12:46.432 Probably have a little bit of all three. 00:12:46.432 --> 00:12:47.250 Or this is my pattern, or this is my prevalent pattern. 00:12:47.250 --> 00:12:49.995 Probably have a little bit of all three, but this is my main one, my go-to. 00:12:49.995 --> 00:13:02.005 And if that's my pattern, how is that informing my identity and how I show up and how I filter everything and how I'm creating my reality? 00:13:02.005 --> 00:13:04.589 Bam people, right. 00:13:04.589 --> 00:13:17.259 And then, if that's my identity, what kind of and that's the reality that's being created what kind of circumstances am I living in? 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:20.644 I'm sorry if that was a two by two. 00:13:20.644 --> 00:13:24.309 This is how we create life. 00:13:24.309 --> 00:13:26.172 This is how we create our life. 00:13:28.254 --> 00:13:40.226 So let me say that again, the patterns that we have, the ego patterns, the defenses, how

we choose to look at those things, those three things that I mentioned created a filter. 00:13:40.226 --> 00:13:45.975 That's how we experience and perceive our life and our interactions and our situations. 00:13:45.975 --> 00:13:53.013 Therefore, that set of perception and experiences creates our reality. 00:13:53.013 --> 00:13:57.089 That's what our reality is, which then, in turn, inform our circumstances. 00:13:57.089 --> 00:13:57.870 What are we creating? 00:13:57.870 --> 00:13:58.592 What is our life like? 00:13:58.592 --> 00:14:04.431 So now, that's part one of what I wanted to present. 00:14:05.081 --> 00:14:06.145 Now we're going to go into part two. 00:14:06.145 --> 00:14:15.386 If that's the case, what do we not like about our current reality, our circumstances? 00:14:15.386 --> 00:14:17.306 Do we want a better job? 00:14:17.306 --> 00:14:20.368 Do we want something different in our relationship? 00:14:20.368 --> 00:14:24.630 Do we want something different from our fitness, from our wellness, from our health? 00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:25.527 Do we want something different from our fitness, from our wellness, from our health. 00:14:25.527 --> 00:14:27.684 Do we want something different in our home? 00:14:27.684 --> 00:14:31.302 Do we want something different in the impact that we have in the world? 00:14:31.302 --> 00:14:35.071 Like, what are some other things that might come up? 00:14:35.071 --> 00:14:37.663 How do we want to improve our circumstances? 00:14:38.605 --> 00:14:43.621 So then, the next piece would be to identify that, like, if this is my reality, how do I step it up? 00:14:43.621 --> 00:14:44.722 What is the next level for me? 00:14:44.722 --> 00:14:46.306 Like, what would I want it to be? 00:14:46.306 --> 00:14:54.826 Like, okay, and then from that with this higher reality, if that is the reality that I want. 00:14:54.826 --> 00:14:57.758 This is the tricky part, right? 00:14:57.758 --> 00:15:02.321 Who do I need to be to be able to create that? 00:15:02.321 --> 00:15:04.575 Would I have the same patterns? 00:15:04.575 --> 00:15:08.296 No, I wouldn't, because if I had those patterns, I wouldn't be able to create that reality. 00:15:08.296 --> 00:15:10.673 So that's the trick, right, we have to change those patterns. 00:15:10.673 --> 00:15:11.477 That's what we're getting to. 00:15:11.477 --> 00:15:19.629 And so, if this is the desired reality, what kind of person would create that kind of reality? 00:15:19.629 --> 00:15:21.015 How would I want to be? 00:15:21.015 --> 00:15:23.378 How would I have to be to be able to create that? 00:15:23.378 --> 00:15:44.759 So what I would want you to do when we finish listening to this, or as we go, if you're watching this video, recording audio, whatever you could pause it and then just follow those prompts right, journal a little bit, or just ponder and think about the answer to what I'm asking. 00:15:44.759 --> 00:15:48.595 And okay, this is the circumstances, this is what I want to change. 00:15:48.595 --> 00:15:50.197 This will be the desired reality. 00:15:50.197 --> 00:15:54.217 If that is desired reality, who would I need to be to be able to create that? 00:15:54.217 --> 00:15:55.696 That's what we're playing with right now. 00:15:55.696 --> 00:16:00.937 If that's what we want to create, then that's what I would have to become right. 00:16:00.937 --> 00:16:02.318 So think about it in that way. 00:16:02.318 --> 00:16:05.350 Now we're going to juice this up Ready. 00:16:05.389 --> 00:16:22.625 Next level of that is if my future self came to visit me, what advice, suggestions, hacks, inspiration, observations would it make and offer? 00:16:22.625 --> 00:16:24.986 What would they tell me to do differently? 00:16:24.986 --> 00:16:28.018 What would they say girl, you got to be done with that. 00:16:28.018 --> 00:16:29.100 That's not going to get you anywhere. 00:16:29.100 --> 00:16:33.038 To get to where we got, this is what I did different back then. 00:16:33.038 --> 00:16:35.452 This is what you need to do to be able to get here now. 00:16:35.452 --> 00:16:44.248 Right, assuming that your future self got where you wanted to get, right, assuming that your future self got where you want it to get. 00:16:44.248 --> 00:16:47.533 So the future self from the desired reality, let's put it that way. 00:16:47.533 --> 00:16:48.456 So then we don't mess ourselves up. 00:16:48.456 --> 00:16:52.514 So that future self is going to give you advice, so what you need to do now to be able to create the thing that you want. 00:16:52.514 --> 00:16:53.937 So now we're going to combine. 00:16:53.937 --> 00:16:55.551 Okay, who do I think I need to be? 00:16:55.551 --> 00:17:11.825 Plus, the future self is going to come to visit us and tell us right, so we're going to play with that information we have to think about, okay, so what does that mean for me for today, for the next near future? 00:17:11.825 --> 00:17:13.757 Like, what are the changes that I need to make? 00:17:13.757 --> 00:17:16.218 So all of that is part two of today. 00:17:17.411 --> 00:17:20.938 So the first part was identifying the patterns. 00:17:20.938 --> 00:17:28.582 The second part is assessing the realities, where we are, what kind of circumstances we have, what do we want to change? 00:17:28.582 --> 00:17:29.811 What do we want to create? 00:17:29.811 --> 00:17:32.558 Who do we want to become? 00:17:32.558 --> 00:17:34.323 Who do we have to become to make that happen? 00:17:34.323 --> 00:17:46.779 Our future self is going to juice us up and give us some tips and hints to help us up, to help us out, and then we're going to go create the new reality. 00:17:46.779 --> 00:17:48.616 So that's part three of today Ready. 00:17:48.616 --> 00:17:50.056 So we're going to dive into that right now. 00:17:51.930 --> 00:18:06.540 So, after you did all of that, after you played with, paused, you thought about this, you journaled, whatever you had to do to kind of get into that state, even

if you had to meditate on this, kick it around, massage it, so, really sit with. 00:18:06.540 --> 00:18:08.971 Oh, these are my patterns, this is what I'm creating. 00:18:08.971 --> 00:18:11.577 This is why my reality is, this is my perceptions. 00:18:11.577 --> 00:18:23.994 That's the reality that they're creating this big identity that I have right now about myself and my situation, and this is what I want to create and this is who I need to become to be able to create that. 00:18:23.994 --> 00:18:34.182 And this is the suggestion, the hint, the tip that my future self gave me Wow. 00:18:34.182 --> 00:18:34.782 So now, what? 00:18:34.782 --> 00:18:36.855 So now we're going to go create it. 00:18:36.855 --> 00:18:40.798 We're going to use all the information that we have. 00:18:40.798 --> 00:18:44.563 What's the reality that we want to create and who do we need to become? 00:18:44.563 --> 00:18:45.508 We're going to marry that. 00:18:45.508 --> 00:18:46.550 We're going to create something. 00:18:46.791 --> 00:18:47.914 So the first thing, is this ready? 00:18:47.914 --> 00:18:55.875 Okay, so, if this is who I need to become, what does that mean? 00:18:55.875 --> 00:18:57.839 What kind of identity is that? 00:18:57.839 --> 00:19:01.450 And to make this fun, to make this funner, what kind of identity is that? 00:19:01.450 --> 00:19:06.863 And to make this fun, to make this funner, we could give that new identity, that alter ego, a name. 00:19:06.863 --> 00:19:19.401 So think about okay, so if I were to be this kind of person, what would be the title for that version of myself, for that identity. 00:19:19.401 --> 00:19:20.474 What do I want to name it? 00:19:20.474 --> 00:19:23.470 Right? 00:19:23.470 --> 00:19:28.823 So our last name is vikluchi, so part of mine has gucci in it, so you could kind of see where I'm going with that, right? 00:19:28.823 --> 00:19:30.392 So hey, you know. 00:19:30.392 --> 00:19:40.034 So just bring some, put something fun in there, step it up a notch and think of the superheroes, too, out there, right? 00:19:40.034 --> 00:19:40.275 So they. 00:19:40.275 --> 00:19:49.215 So they have those alter selves, their new version of themselves, the version that has the powers, right? 00:19:49.215 --> 00:19:50.019 So something like that. 00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:52.317 So, get creative, make it fun. 00:19:52.317 --> 00:20:01.420 So the new version of me, my alter ego, is this, so name it something cool, fun, interesting, exciting. 00:20:02.241 --> 00:20:04.954 And what are all the characteristics of this new version of you? 00:20:04.954 --> 00:20:21.762 Slash, this other version of you because, as you probably already know, we have a lot of parts to ourselves, different aspects that we access, don't access, and we show up with different versions of ourselves. 00:20:21.762 --> 00:20:31.182 And so the version of you that you want to show up with more and that you want to continue to develop, what's the name for that version, for that

part? 00:20:31.182 --> 00:20:34.820 What is the alter ego name? 00:20:34.820 --> 00:20:43.683 So then, what are all the characteristics of that part, or all that new version of you, that new identity? 00:20:43.683 --> 00:20:45.311 What do they do? 00:20:45.311 --> 00:20:46.295 How do they dress? 00:20:46.295 --> 00:20:47.217 How do they speak? 00:20:47.217 --> 00:20:48.138 What are they like? 00:20:48.138 --> 00:20:49.080 How do they show up? 00:20:49.080 --> 00:20:50.063 How do they behave? 00:20:50.063 --> 00:20:51.875 What kind of things are they like? 00:20:51.875 --> 00:20:53.376 How do they step up their wardrobe? 00:20:53.376 --> 00:20:54.971 How do they do their daily routine differently? 00:20:54.971 --> 00:20:55.653 You see New version, new identity. 00:20:55.653 --> 00:20:56.472 What does this new person do? 00:20:56.472 --> 00:20:58.336 How are they their daily routine differently? 00:20:58.336 --> 00:21:02.740 You see, new version, new identity. 00:21:02.740 --> 00:21:04.383 What does this new person do? 00:21:04.383 --> 00:21:05.163 How do they? 00:21:05.163 --> 00:21:05.845 Who are they? 00:21:05.845 --> 00:21:06.545 How do they show up? 00:21:06.545 --> 00:21:07.185 How do they speak? 00:21:07.185 --> 00:21:10.474 Who are they? 00:21:10.474 --> 00:21:13.481 Right, and so develop that, have fun, right? 00:21:17.269 --> 00:21:23.852 So if the new version of the new identity is a sporty person, does the sporty person sit on the couch watching TV five hours a day? 00:21:23.852 --> 00:21:25.275 Probably not, right? 00:21:25.275 --> 00:21:26.278 So what do they do differently? 00:21:26.278 --> 00:21:35.693 Not that you do that and not that I do that, but I'm just saying, like, that's an example, right, like a couch potato doesn't go with a sporty or adventurous person. 00:21:35.693 --> 00:21:41.602 So what does a sporty, adventurous person do? 00:21:41.602 --> 00:21:50.045 What kind of activities do they have after work, or before work, or maybe for lifestyle, for, for, for work? 00:21:50.045 --> 00:21:55.118 Maybe that's part of their work, maybe maybe you change careers and to do something to that effect, right? 00:21:55.118 --> 00:21:59.738 So this, this is the universe, is the limit here anything. 00:21:59.738 --> 00:22:01.502 This could apply to anything, however you like. 00:22:04.516 --> 00:22:21.440 So to go along with that, let's say that the new version of you is a more laid-back, relaxed, easygoing, more feminine person, as opposed to the go go, go, go, go getter and aggressive and assertive and go make things happen kind of person. 00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:24.057 But would that version do differently? 00:22:24.057 --> 00:22:25.896 How would they structure that day differently? 00:22:25.896 --> 00:22:27.856 How would they dress differently? 00:22:27.856 --> 00:22:40.116 How would they speak differently, interact differently, subscribe to things differently, right, like commitments and things that they do and things that they entertain, things that they allow or that they engage in? 00:22:40.116 --> 00:22:48.251 You see, very different. 00:22:48.251 --> 00:22:49.096 So create your new version of you. 00:22:49.175 --> 00:23:02.319 And I don't know if you've heard me in the past Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing what I say in podcasts and what I say in our membership, but you might have heard me in some contexts say things like that we're a big old habit, so everything about us is a habit. 00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:05.758 We make the choices and we do it over and over and over and over again. 00:23:05.758 --> 00:23:14.980 So I'm asking you now to do the opposite make different choices and then we're going to do those over and over and over again until you're that version of yourself more consistently. 00:23:14.980 --> 00:23:15.601 And that's who you are. 00:23:15.601 --> 00:23:17.913 That's who you become right. 00:23:17.913 --> 00:23:29.680 And another way to look at this is that we already are amazing and radiant and fabulous, our core self, the beingness that we are. 00:23:29.680 --> 00:23:30.903 It's already amazing. 00:23:31.570 --> 00:23:47.541 But we put all these things, patterns and habits and ways of being on ourself that cover our radiance, who we really are, and we show up with this limited, ego-based, fear-based version of ourselves. 00:23:47.541 --> 00:23:59.423 And so what we're doing right now is we're deconstructing and peeling all the muckiness and we are showing up with our radiance more right. 00:23:59.423 --> 00:24:04.936 So this is the next fun part how do we get rid of all that muck? 00:24:04.936 --> 00:24:06.536 How do we change all the patterns? 00:24:06.536 --> 00:24:10.641 How do we undo the current identity that was so ingrained? 00:24:10.641 --> 00:24:12.557 This is who we think we are right. 00:24:12.557 --> 00:24:24.092 We've done it so much, every second of every minute, of every hour, of every everything of our life, that we think that this is who we are, but it isn't. 00:24:24.092 --> 00:24:30.651 This is the construction, so we could create something different and the way to change that. 00:24:32.354 --> 00:24:50.282 We're going to be tricky about this, because if we just go about like, I'm going to do all this stuff differently, right, so the thing that we just designed and we try to implement it, it's not going to be so easy, just like that, because it's not ingrained yet, it's not a pattern, it's not a habit yet, right? 00:24:50.282 --> 00:24:52.257 So we're going to automatically default to what we know. 00:24:52.257 --> 00:24:56.513 And so the ego is going to be like oh heck, no, we're not going to let it go that easily. 00:24:56.513 --> 00:24:57.174 What are you talking about this? 00:24:57.174 --> 00:24:59.798 The ego is going to be like oh heck, no, we're not going to let go of that easily. 00:24:59.798 --> 00:25:00.778 What are you talking about? 00:25:00.778 --> 00:25:01.880 This is the death of me. 00:25:01.880 -->

00:25:03.362 I don't want to die. 00:25:03.362 --> 00:25:04.844 This is who I am. 00:25:04.844 --> 00:25:06.605 I can't be something different. 00:25:06.605 --> 00:25:12.692 That's what the ego will say and will sabotage your efforts. 00:25:12.692 --> 00:25:15.575 It wouldn't let you integrate or implement something else. 00:25:16.816 --> 00:25:29.417 And so we're going to go behind the scenes and undo the patterns and the habits in a different way, so the ego doesn't realize that you're doing it. 00:25:29.417 --> 00:25:32.460 So we're not going to go heads to heads with the ego and fight. 00:25:32.460 --> 00:25:35.397 We're not going to say, well, we're not going to talk like this anymore. 00:25:35.397 --> 00:25:40.624 We're going to talk like this now yes, that's nice in theory, but hard to do. 00:25:40.624 --> 00:25:43.876 And yes, we could be intentional. 00:25:43.876 --> 00:25:49.934 Yes, we could show up differently with intentionality every day and mindfulness and all the things that I talk about all the time. 00:25:49.934 --> 00:25:52.650 So, of course we could do it, but that's a lot of work, right? 00:25:52.650 --> 00:25:54.497 So we had to be on all the time. 00:25:54.497 --> 00:26:05.520 We could do that and be more easy about it, but then we could also go behind the doors and undo stuff underneath, if you may. 00:26:07.550 --> 00:26:40.516 And what that looks like is that we're going to deprogram the patterns in a way that the ego doesn't know that we're doing it, so we're not going to go confront it and fight with it about what we're doing every minute of the day, but we're going to go through the back door and we're going to do the things and the ego is going to be like oh, before you know it, a new pattern is in place and the ego didn't even realize it that we changed it. 00:26:40.516 --> 00:26:49.369 And so what I created for this is a way of disrupting or interrupting patterns, behaviors and things that we normally do, so that by doing that, we automatically are deprogramming. 00:26:49.369 --> 00:26:56.250 Doing that we automatically are deprogramming all this stuff that normally would drive our patterns, our behaviors, our routines. 00:26:56.250 --> 00:26:58.472 Let me say that a little bit better. 00:26:58.472 --> 00:26:59.714 We are wired a certain way. 00:26:59.714 --> 00:27:09.214 We have behaviors, we have speech mannerisms, we have thought patterns, we have all kinds of patterns, everything, like I said before, everything's a pattern, everything's a habit. 00:27:09.234 --> 00:27:33.878 So if we start doing things differently I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you in a second where I'm getting at with this if we start doing things differently and undoing that pattern, putting a different patterning in place, that where we're getting rewired, different aspects of us show up to deal with a change and different thought patterns have to come up. 00:27:33.878 --> 00:27:37.601 Different things show up, different feelings, different things

that we have to do. 00:27:37.601 --> 00:27:49.817 Our body might need to move differently, we might have to stretch in particular ways in our either routines or in how we do things, or in what we're doing with our bodies or how we're thinking about something. 00:27:49.817 --> 00:27:59.135 And in all of those micro changes we're deconstructing the old structure, you see, and we're de-patterning. 00:27:59.135 --> 00:28:11.910 So we're not going for the ego, we are slowly melting it down, if you may, or reforming it to suit us to the new identity. 00:28:11.910 --> 00:28:41.443 And so the mechanism for doing this this might sound complicated, maybe, but so I created a fun, easy way to do this so that we could de-pattern in a fun way, without doing all this cycle babble, all this hard, potentially hard work, and that is by doing a 30-day challenge, let's say, or a 90-day challenge, whatever flows your boat, or 75 hard or 75 medium or 75 soft, whatever right, look them up. 00:28:41.443 --> 00:28:59.663 If you're not familiar with Any kind of challenge that you institute will help you focus on something else, go about that thing differently and access different parts of you to be able to accomplish the thing. 00:28:59.663 --> 00:29:12.758 So even the most minute of challenges that you choose to do will trigger different aspects of you to be able to stay on task, to be able to twist yourself, to do this new thing. 00:29:12.758 --> 00:29:27.138 And in that there's the deep patterning and in that you're bypassing your ego, like I was saying before, and you're setting yourself up to be able to install that new identity that we just created Bam. 00:29:28.401 --> 00:29:30.983 So a couple of things with this. 00:29:30.983 --> 00:29:35.422 I want you to check out the 30-day challenges list that I created. 00:29:35.422 --> 00:29:53.273 Go to my website and I also am going to put a link in the show notes in the description here, which is the 30 day challenges list, so you could subscribe to that. 00:29:53.273 --> 00:29:54.699 You could download it. 00:29:54.699 --> 00:30:14.499 It's a one sheet that gives you, I think, 50 options of challenges, and they go from as simple as I'm cutting out sugar or sweets to something else, whatever, like more complicated, and so you can make your own, but it's fun to look at a list of ideas, why not? 00:30:14.499 --> 00:30:16.776 So you can check that out. 00:30:16.776 --> 00:30:20.797 And plus it comes with a prescription of how to play with this sheet and these ideas and this concept. 00:30:20.797 --> 00:30:25.994 So you get a little email sequence to help you along to install this and play with this idea. 00:30:25.994 --> 00:30:40.010 So that's one thing, or you could look up challenges anywhere else, but the idea is to play with the challenge because that's the easiest way to kind of go, deconstructing things and paving the way for something else to be installed. 00:30:40.030 --> 00:30:41.892 Okay, so that's how you're interrupting the patterns. 00:30:41.892 --> 00:30:58.624 So that's how you're interrupting the patterns, deconstructing and creating that space, that malleable substance, so that rewiring could happen and new things could be installed, a new software, into your hardware, if you may. 00:30:58.624 --> 00:31:01.205 Now you could say OK. 00:31:01.205 --> 00:31:04.428 So all the parts of me are more open. 00:31:04.428 --> 00:31:08.614 Now I'm receptive to creating something different. 00:31:08.614 --> 00:31:09.916 You see, this is where we're getting to. 00:31:09.936 --> 00:31:19.703 This is the third fun part, and that is that now you say okay. 00:31:19.703 --> 00:31:24.954 So if this is the side of reality that I want to create, then what do I need to put in place to create that reality, aside from who I need to be? 00:31:24.954 --> 00:31:37.721 You see, this part has to do with actually taking the action steps to make the new reality come true or for it to manifest more easily in the concrete part of it. 00:31:37.721 --> 00:31:42.520 And so you're going to say, okay, so my desired reality is this. 00:31:42.520 --> 00:31:48.172 You're going to flesh it all out what are the aspects of this new reality, of this new circumstances? 00:31:48.172 --> 00:31:50.037 What do things look like? 00:31:50.037 --> 00:31:51.318 What changes do you have to make? 00:31:51.318 --> 00:31:53.531 Do you have to do anything to your home? 00:31:53.531 --> 00:31:54.976 Do you have to do anything at work? 00:31:54.976 --> 00:32:07.423 Anything with your team, anything with your services, anything with your parenting, anything with your physical appearance, with your health, with your hobbies, with your interests, with your community, with your environments, whatever, I don't know, whatever's in your life? 00:32:07.423 --> 00:32:16.170 So go through all the things that would be different and, like I usually like to say, we're not going to do all of the things in one shot, right? 00:32:16.170 --> 00:32:31.664 So first capture everything and then narrow it down to two things that you want to target and what are the next action steps in each one of those things that you could take to start creating the flavor of that aspect in your new reality. 00:32:31.664 --> 00:32:45.625 So you're going to map out what this new life look like what would things look like, and start taking steps toward making things happen, and start with just two areas, so it's not overwhelming, alrighty. 00:32:45.625 --> 00:32:50.519 So I hope that that made sense. 00:32:50.961 --> 00:33:08.645 So we're deconstructing that, we're de-patterning and, by the way, I like to do this work in the month of June, which is the month of Father's Day, and it has to do with being disciplined and structured and having systems right. 00:33:08.645 --> 00:33:11.719 So that's a translation of fathering. 00:33:11.719 --> 00:33:18.396 So fathers usually the fathering, the masculine energy, could be moms doing that too, right?

00:33:18.396 --> 00:33:36.324 So the masculine parts of the caregivers to ourselves and our children provide the masculine aspects and characteristics, and those have to do with discipline, with structure, with systems, with methodology, right. 00:33:36.324 --> 00:33:37.375 So how do we do things? 00:33:37.375 --> 00:33:43.903 And that's what we're giving to ourselves this month to re-father ourselves. 00:33:43.903 --> 00:33:59.938 So whatever things we didn't get growing up that had to do with security, with stability, with safety, and we have wounds around those, by doing this work that I just offered, we're giving that to ourselves right. 00:33:59.938 --> 00:34:02.683 We create the routines, we create the patterns. 00:34:02.683 --> 00:34:08.181 They're not dictated by some phantom subconscious thing that's driving our lives. 00:34:08.181 --> 00:34:09.275 We're going to take charge of it. 00:34:09.275 --> 00:34:22.260 So we're going to deprogram all that stuff and we can create what we want and we're going to give ourselves the structure, the discipline, the stability, the security, the safety by us doing something consistently through the challenges. 00:34:22.260 --> 00:34:22.601 You see. 00:34:22.601 --> 00:34:29.860 So a very simple, fun activity way of doing this work. 00:34:29.860 --> 00:34:31.664 That's doing all kinds of things. 00:34:32.070 --> 00:34:39.202 You're doing all the healing behind the scenes, at the deeper level, with the re-fathering, re-parenting yourself from the with the masculine energy. 00:34:39.202 --> 00:34:47.362 So re-parenting by doing re-fathering plus, we're making it practical. 00:34:47.362 --> 00:34:51.981 We're actually creating something that's the result of the changes that we're doing. 00:34:51.981 --> 00:34:55.440 So we're working underneath with the healing. 00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.856 We're working at the top with the practical, with deep patterning. 00:34:57.856 --> 00:34:58.719 We're changing our whole life. 00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:00.536 So, bam, there we go. 00:35:00.536 --> 00:35:04.349 That's what I promised at the beginning of this episode. 00:35:04.349 --> 00:35:05.635 We're going to repattern, reset. 00:35:05.635 --> 00:35:07.315 We're going to change our whole life and we're getting ready for the beginning of this episode. 00:35:07.315 --> 00:35:07.599 We're going to repattern, reset. 00:35:07.599 --> 00:35:10.704 We're going to change our whole life and we're getting ready for part two of this year. 00:35:10.704 --> 00:35:11.489 So that's what we're doing. 00:35:11.489 --> 00:35:19.077 We're repatterning so that we create something new, reset the whole thing with something as fun as just 30 data challenges. 00:35:19.789 --> 00:35:34.516 Now, if you think that you need support with this, our membership has pretty cool deep masterclasses and deep dives that help you address all of the fears, all the patterns emotional and mental right. 00:35:34.516 --> 00:35:46.496 So the mind and the heart, the emotional body and the mental body, the thinking patterns, the emotional patterns, however you, whatever language you want to use with this and the masculine the. 00:35:46.496 --> 00:36:05.177 We have the dual work there for that and we go deep into the patterning, into the changing the things, and it has a bunch of practices, a bunch of exercises, worksheets, workbooks, beautiful workbooks to help you do the work, videos and the membership. 00:36:05.177 --> 00:36:08.019 You have access to those right off the bat. 00:36:08.019 --> 00:36:12.211 You have access to everything, but those are the ones that will be applicable to what we're talking about today. 00:36:12.211 --> 00:36:22.601 And you get our monthly videos and all of the emails, weekly emails to support your journey, to give you homework for the weekend, all kinds of yummy stuff. 00:36:23.030 --> 00:36:28.670 So if this resonates and if you want additional support, feel free to just subscribe to us. 00:36:28.670 --> 00:36:35.335 Only $29 a month, you get all of this deeper work that you could do at your own pace and your own time and you have access to all of our content. 00:36:35.335 --> 00:36:41.596 And if you want more, more personal, of course, we're here to do the individual work as well. 00:36:41.596 --> 00:36:45.972 You could check out working with us privately. 00:36:45.972 --> 00:36:48.739 You could just start with an initial session and see if we're a good fit. 00:36:48.739 --> 00:36:50.675 All right, so that's there for you. 00:36:50.675 --> 00:37:00.760 I'm also going to put all the resources in the again show notes description so you could see all the blog posts, access the challenge, maybe some of the videos. 00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:04.336 I'll see what we have that's free that you could access now to support you. 00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:07.056 Okay, my loves, hopefully that was helpful. 00:37:07.056 --> 00:37:08.416 That was a whole process. 00:37:08.416 --> 00:37:18.483 That's like a whole process, so you're welcome, hope you enjoyed it and I hope that you play with this. 00:37:18.483 --> 00:37:32.302 Give it a good shot so that you'll see the benefit of reprogramming everything and setting yourself up for an amazing second part of this year and a beautiful reset, a new beginning all around. 00:37:32.302 --> 00:37:34.556 Okay, have a fabulous one. 00:37:34.556 --> 00:37:35.818 I will see you at the next one. 00:37:35.818 --> 00:37:36.784 Bye.