Пълният препис на 139. How to Set Yourselves Up for 2026: Positioning Yourself to Win

00:05:58.910 --> 00:06:00.189 That's the first question. 00:06:00.430 --> 00:06:01.310 How did I do? 00:06:01.389 --> 00:06:05.389 Like you need to really reflect and stop and go, how did we do in 2025? 00:06:06.189 --> 00:06:09.069 Was were we successful with hitting our goals? 00:06:09.149 --> 00:06:10.350 Did we not have any goals? 00:06:10.509 --> 00:06:29.550 So did I just go through 2025 and not even not not make a when I say goals, I especially for husband and wife, did you guys make a specific plan where you're moving together and you know our goal is to hit this, and then once we hit this, this is the next step. 00:06:29.790 --> 00:06:38.910 If you haven't had any of those, we'll talk about it in a second, but reflecting because feedback is the mother of learning. 00:06:39.149 --> 00:06:52.990 And so if you aren't reflecting back at all on how did we do what do I need to grow in, what do we need to take inventory of and move the ball forward, then you're really shooting in the dark. 00:06:53.230 --> 00:06:57.230 And so to me, the very first step is to reflect a little bit. 00:06:57.709 --> 00:07:04.829 Spend some dedicated time with your spouse to really look and ask the question, how did we do? 00:07:04.990 --> 00:07:06.189 How do we do with the kids? 00:07:06.350 --> 00:07:08.030 How do we do with our finances? 00:07:08.350 --> 00:07:11.149 How do we do with our plans for the year? 00:07:12.189 --> 00:07:17.870 From there, we can start to talk about what it looks like to move forward. 00:07:19.389 --> 00:07:28.990 You know, I think when we're when we're inviting you to reflect, this might seem obvious, but it's kind of funny. 00:07:29.069 --> 00:07:49.149 You know, you get on social media at the beginning of a new year and you're gonna see all these, you know, memes with funny quotes about how people are like sliding into the new year disheveled and memes where it's you know, like 2025 felt like I was put into the washing machine and you know, whatever, wrung out. 00:07:50.350 --> 00:08:01.790 I think we have to be careful that, you know, as we're reflecting on a past year, sure, there are circumstances that impacted your year, for better or for worse. 00:08:02.350 --> 00:08:04.670 And that's worth reflecting too, right? 00:08:04.750 --> 00:08:09.310 If there's pain to process or if there's something to celebrate, that's fantastic. 00:08:09.949 --> 00:08:17.550 I think the question, how did I do, is different than what happened in 2025. 00:08:17.870 --> 00:08:34.669 And I only say that because if we're willing to take a lot of radical ownership over how we operated inside of any circumstance that came up in this past year, then we'll have what it takes to make some positive change. 00:08:34.829 --> 00:08:47.149 And because we can't control circumstances and we can only control how we are inside of them, you know, regardless of circumstance, you're setting yourself up to win in a bigger way than you won last year, you know. 00:08:47.230

--> 00:08:54.269 And so I think being willing to take a look at, even if you went through a really hard year, maybe relationally even last year was really difficult. 00:08:54.350 --> 00:09:01.949 You know, we have friends and close and people close in our lives who 2025 was really challenging on a lot of relational fronts. 00:09:02.109 --> 00:09:02.669 And you know what? 00:09:02.909 --> 00:09:11.709 Each one of those relationship dynamics in each one of those, there's ownership to take on all parts. 00:09:11.949 --> 00:09:16.829 And growth is absolutely possible if we're willing to take an honest look at that. 00:09:16.909 --> 00:09:31.389 So I just want to kind of highlight that because I think sometimes in a need with a need to like laugh off the ridiculousness of what happened in the past or like, wow, that was a lot, we can kind of bypass some of the personal ownership that actually empowers change. 00:09:31.629 --> 00:09:32.829 Yeah, it's true. 00:09:33.229 --> 00:09:39.789 For me, the next step really is you have to know where your time's going. 00:09:40.029 --> 00:09:44.509 And if you don't know where your time's going, then you don't actually own your time. 00:09:44.829 --> 00:09:50.429 And time's the one thing that you can't make any more of, and you can't get back. 00:09:50.589 --> 00:09:53.229 So that's really where you're investing. 00:09:53.309 --> 00:09:59.549 If you think about like an actual investment, your time is your best and biggest investment that you have. 00:09:59.709 --> 00:10:05.549 And so I love for couples to have a shared calendar. 00:10:05.789 --> 00:10:09.229 I only love that because that's what we've done for a long time now, babe. 00:10:09.309 --> 00:10:11.309 And you really set us up for that. 00:10:11.869 --> 00:10:18.989 But a shared like Google Calendar is gold, it allows you to look and go. 00:10:19.229 --> 00:10:24.829 I know for starters where all the big rocks, right? 00:10:24.989 --> 00:10:34.989 So a big rock for me would be a Braveco conference, um, or a ride of passage, or we're going next week to her dad's in South Carolina. 00:10:35.149 --> 00:10:40.189 Like those are big rocks that they're there, just big chunks of time that are already set. 00:10:40.669 --> 00:10:43.389 Sit down and first lay out all the big rocks. 00:10:44.029 --> 00:10:47.469 That way you have a plan for the whole year for for those. 00:10:47.629 --> 00:10:51.629 You can see them clearly, and it allows you to know where your gaps are. 00:10:51.949 --> 00:10:59.309 From there, you're gonna take a look at what's the what's the most important thing that I want to accomplish. 00:10:59.469 --> 00:11:01.389 Maybe it's quarter by quarter. 00:11:01.549 --> 00:11:11.469 Um and for and so when you start to do that, like for instance, Lauren has a book launch that she's doing, which we're gonna talk a lot about in the in the next couple months. 00:11:11.789 --> 00:11:13.869 But she's finished her book. 00:11:14.029 --> 00:11:18.109 Um, they're doing some of the finalizing of the cover work and all that. 00:11:18.349 --> 00:11:30.349 So in this first quarter, we're starting to put into our calendar um things like Lauren being able to get some time to go and finalize cover work. 00:11:30.429 --> 00:11:38.669 Um, we're also um partnering her with uh uh a person that's gonna help her uh do the launch. 00:11:38.750 --> 00:11:41.149 And just there's just all these little details. 00:11:41.309 --> 00:11:56.989 If we didn't have the big blocks and big rocks inside of our calendar, then all of a sudden we're she's entering into all of these different uh things that it takes to launch a book without really knowing what we're doing. 00:11:57.469 --> 00:12:05.629 And so now that her stuff is, we can start to look at the goal is to get her book launched by X date, then we can put all those things in the calendar. 00:12:05.789 --> 00:12:14.669 I also have those for myself as well, because we're launching a rite of passage for young men, uh fathers and sons in Jacksonville, Florida, February 28th. 00:12:14.750 --> 00:12:16.909 So that's a that's a shameless plug right there. 00:12:17.789 --> 00:12:24.829 And so I also have a whole bunch of not just daily tasks, but I have some. 00:12:25.549 --> 00:12:32.189 I'm going to Jacksonville, Florida this next week, and I'm going to New York just on a little tour. 00:12:32.349 --> 00:12:34.669 And so those things have to get added in. 00:12:34.829 --> 00:12:34.989 Yeah. 00:12:35.229 --> 00:12:44.269 If we don't have a very detailed schedule of Q1, what does our Q1 look like in our calendar? 00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:56.989 There's no way that we could really be successful at launching a rite of passage, at launching Lauren's uh book, and then also, you know, the kids back to school. 00:12:57.229 --> 00:13:01.629 All those things have to be very specifically detailed into your calendar. 00:13:01.709 --> 00:13:07.229 And here's the truth: I used to feel like the calendar was this biggest burden. 00:13:07.389 --> 00:13:09.629 I was like, oh, I don't want to put things into the calendar. 00:13:09.709 --> 00:13:23.949 I literally used to feel so much anxiety because of I'm not very gifted when it comes to the clerical, administrative, but a calendar actually set me free. 00:13:24.109 --> 00:13:24.269 Yeah. 00:13:24.429 --> 00:13:33.149 The ability to look at my calendar, how kind of how we lay ours out, you have a color for yours, I have a color for mine, and then we have a color for the kids. 00:13:33.549 --> 00:13:35.229 It's the same color for each kid. 00:13:35.389 --> 00:13:37.069 We don't mix it up by different colors. 00:13:37.149 --> 00:13:38.909 I had a friend ask me the other day. 00:13:39.069 --> 00:13:41.789 So my color, it shows up as yellow on mine. 00:13:42.589 --> 00:13:52.750 And it's really nice because in a day, day to day, I can look and see what the kids are doing, and I can see my full calendar. 00:13:52.909 --> 00:13:53.229 Yes.

00:13:53.469 --> 00:13:59.709 And so I'm always at a place or almost always at a place where I can be ready to help. 00:14:00.189 --> 00:14:04.909 I can see when Lauren's gonna go work out, I can see when the kids need to be picked up. 00:14:05.149 --> 00:14:07.069 Our world isn't chaotic. 00:14:07.389 --> 00:14:11.389 I know where my time is going, why it's going there. 00:14:11.549 --> 00:14:13.469 And those are things that we've agreed upon. 00:14:13.549 --> 00:14:20.029 And so I think that this never sounds very like, oh my gosh, revolutionary. 00:14:20.189 --> 00:14:34.029 This is the difference between you creating an ecosystem of health, creating momentum in your life, and hitting the targets that you really feel like are important to you in your life. 00:14:34.269 --> 00:14:35.469 Yeah, absolutely. 00:14:35.629 --> 00:14:42.829 You know, the calendar is something that Jay wasn't accustomed to, and it did take a little bit of time for him to get used to using the calendar. 00:14:42.909 --> 00:14:57.389 And it requires kind of that skilled discipline of, you know, making sure that you're referring to it, maybe setting alarms on your phone to remind you to take a look at the calendar in the morning and in the evening so that you're set up well for the next day. 00:14:57.549 --> 00:15:02.989 But really, these shared calendars have been game changers for us. 00:15:03.149 --> 00:15:12.750 It helps me to feel like I'm not alone in the details of things, and it helps Jay feel like he knows how he can win by pitching in. 00:15:12.989 --> 00:15:20.909 You know, it's really easy when you have full busy lives to kind of start running parallel to your spouse. 00:15:21.149 --> 00:15:30.989 And I think if I could give anybody a goal for 2026, it would be to up the teamwork game in your marriage dynamic. 00:15:31.309 --> 00:15:53.789 Because, gosh, if you can get really good at being a team and crack the code that works for you so that your needs are getting met in your team dynamic and you're really playing well together rather than just running parallel races, I really think that that just it really elevates the level of emotional connection that you have possible inside of your marriage. 00:15:54.029 --> 00:15:56.109 So this has been a huge priority for us. 00:15:56.429 --> 00:16:18.429 So one of the things when we went to Chico um to get away just for uh like a day and a half for Lauren and I, we sat down, we put in all the big rocks, and then we started to look at um just Q1, like what's coming up and really focus on those, getting helping to give each other ideas, um, making some space in the calendar was a big thing. 00:16:18.589 --> 00:16:23.149 And so we kind of came home with like we're ready to go for quarter one. 00:16:23.389 --> 00:16:27.069 She's like, please don't add anything else to the calendar without asking me. 00:16:27.709 --> 00:16:38.829 And um, but then from there, the next thing that we did before we pulled into our driveway is we had our next meeting planned for uh quarter two. 00:16:38.989 --> 00:16:39.229 Right. 00:16:39.389 --> 00:16:55.789 And so again, just making sure that we don't miss the most important meeting of our life, which is the meeting with your spouse where you're deciding what your life's gonna be and look like, and a chance to reflect and look back at your targets and then make sure that you're you're headed to the right place. 00:16:56.029 --> 00:16:59.789 And so I think for married couples, these are non-negotiables. 00:16:59.949 --> 00:17:04.589 Okay, now if you're single and you're listening to this, you're this is still the same for you. 00:17:04.750 --> 00:17:15.710 Just because you don't have a spouse that you're um you know working with, you should be working with somebody, uh, an expert or yourself to go, how did I do? 00:17:15.869 --> 00:17:17.470 Did I hit where I wanted to go? 00:17:17.630 --> 00:17:18.910 What are the adjustments? 00:17:19.069 --> 00:17:21.150 Where do I want to invest my time? 00:17:21.309 --> 00:17:26.910 Yeah, what do I have to do to be really successful in quarter one of 2026? 00:17:27.549 --> 00:17:30.029 And how am I gonna execute that? 00:17:30.829 --> 00:17:33.389 Those things are really gonna set you up for success. 00:17:33.629 --> 00:17:36.589 And we can also do this in every area of our life. 00:17:36.750 --> 00:17:41.789 So you can sit down and go, how did I do in my spiritual walk with God? 00:17:42.269 --> 00:17:44.909 Did I accomplish what I wanted to accomplish? 00:17:45.069 --> 00:17:46.190 Am I growing? 00:17:46.509 --> 00:17:51.950 Am I um am I excited about what God's doing in my life? 00:17:52.109 --> 00:17:58.750 You know, this this was the first year that I really felt called to, I feel like really press in. 00:17:58.909 --> 00:18:00.990 And so we started off the year. 00:18:01.230 --> 00:18:10.109 Um, we our church does a week-long fast, and I just really felt to fast in a different way than I have uh normally. 00:18:10.589 --> 00:18:16.269 And I also, like yesterday, I met with a group of intercessors just for Braveco to pray for us. 00:18:16.349 --> 00:18:26.109 Like I assessed, I feel a call, a pull to go deeper spiritually, and then created a plan to do that and just started executing it. 00:18:26.269 --> 00:18:28.990 And again, you can do that with relationships, right? 00:18:29.149 --> 00:18:30.190 Who am I spending time with? 00:18:30.349 --> 00:18:31.149 Is it helping? 00:18:31.230 --> 00:18:32.750 Who am I missing in my life? 00:18:32.909 --> 00:18:39.950 Like, do I love how my relationships are going, who I have in my life, are they moving me forward or are they not? 00:18:40.269 --> 00:18:48.349 And begin to, if you if you feel like I don't love how my relationships are, then you can make a plan for change. 00:18:48.429 --> 00:18:51.629 You can get into your calendar and you can actually schedule some time. 00:18:52.109 --> 00:18:56.269 We just don't really do much of value that we

don't plan. 00:18:56.509 --> 00:18:56.990 Yeah. 00:18:57.309 --> 00:19:01.149 One of the things I've found along those lines, even with my friends, right? 00:19:01.230 --> 00:19:17.069 Because you've got your marriage dynamics, not all of you are married, but with my friends, my closest friends, we have discovered we have to plan our year together about five months at a time. 00:19:18.429 --> 00:19:19.869 Four, five months at a time. 00:19:20.029 --> 00:19:20.190 Yep. 00:19:20.509 --> 00:19:21.629 Uh probably four. 00:19:21.950 --> 00:19:37.710 So uh every Christmas, my small group goes away for one night and we celebrate Christmas together and usually do a whole round of like affirmations about um each other for the year. 00:19:38.029 --> 00:19:42.509 And then we always take some time to plan for the coming year. 00:19:42.669 --> 00:19:52.990 And for us, what that looked like is making sure that our bi-weekly small group dates are on the calendar, looking ahead and figuring out what Wednesdays are we all free. 00:19:53.389 --> 00:20:02.589 And then what we do is once a month, we like to get our families together for what we call small group family dinner on a Sunday afternoon. 00:20:02.909 --> 00:20:11.309 So four months at a time, we're planning these family dinners and we're sketching out our small group weeks. 00:20:11.389 --> 00:20:23.710 And we find that if we just do that almost like a semester at a time, we're so much more likely to keep our small group consistent than if we wait till that week to decide if we all have the same free time. 00:20:24.029 --> 00:20:24.750 So, you know. 00:20:25.470 --> 00:20:41.069 Take this measure of intentionality, this planning skill, this calendar skill into all the different areas of your life this new year, and I bet you would see some radical change in intentionality and productivity and in actually meeting some of these goals. 00:20:41.710 --> 00:20:42.589 Awesome, y'all. 00:20:42.750 --> 00:20:44.909 Well, hopefully this helps you a bunch. 00:20:45.069 --> 00:20:47.389 Um, we are excited about this new year. 00:20:47.470 --> 00:20:48.909 Again, we got some really cool things. 00:20:49.149 --> 00:20:51.710 Lauren's book, our rite of passage. 00:20:51.950 --> 00:21:02.509 Men, if you are wanting a way to welcome your son into manhood, uh, we have a ton of fathers and sons, churches, leaders. 00:21:02.669 --> 00:21:07.789 We're all gonna meet in Jacksonville, Florida, February 28th at the Sea Mark Ranch. 00:21:07.869 --> 00:21:09.389 It's a 30-hour event. 00:21:09.470 --> 00:21:11.149 We're gonna break a wild horse. 00:21:11.470 --> 00:21:16.589 Super Bowl champion Steve Weatherford's gonna be there, um, as well as my dad. 00:21:16.829 --> 00:21:19.149 It's gonna be a really, really powerful event. 00:21:19.230 --> 00:21:35.069 We've created a partnership with Spartan Races, and so all the young men are gonna run that 3.1 mile uh Spartan race, and then we're gonna have an opportunity, a chance to welcome our young men into manhood, into responsibility, into purpose. 00:21:35.309 --> 00:21:37.549 And uh it's gonna be a phenomenal time. 00:21:37.950 --> 00:21:39.950 Did I say we're gonna break a wild horse as well? 00:21:40.029 --> 00:21:40.429 Okay, yeah. 00:21:40.589 --> 00:21:43.950 Todd Pierce, one of my best friends, is gonna uh break a wild horse. 00:21:44.029 --> 00:21:48.509 If you've never seen that before, it is phenomenal, it's so powerful. 00:21:48.750 --> 00:21:59.710 And then after the Spartan race, we give every father and son our seven-week curriculum so that you can continue the journey of discipleship for your son. 00:21:59.789 --> 00:22:03.309 So you can go to braveco.org to check all that out. 00:22:03.629 --> 00:22:05.069 Have an incredible week. 00:22:05.230 --> 00:22:21.869 We will see you next week on dates and we'll be able to do that.