النص الكامل لحلقة 017 - Extracurriculars: balancing busyness, church and community connections. With Anthony Penn.

get in the road So I think the for balance 00:04:30.640 --> 00:04:35.590 stays with you regardless of how old your children are or what your family 00:04:35.590 --> 00:04:42.685 looks like Today we have a friend of mine actually so Anthony and his wife Michelle 00:04:42.775 --> 00:04:49.645 and their children attend the church uh that I also attend And have had I would 00:04:49.795 --> 00:04:55.585 to say the privilege of watching Anthony and Michelle raise their four children 00:04:55.885 --> 00:05:03.560 and just look at how this balance of extracurricular activities Still be an 00:05:03.890 --> 00:05:10.130 part of our church family So Anthony welcome Thank you for spending some time 00:05:10.130 --> 00:05:15.050 chatting with us today Maybe you start just by sharing a little bit about your 00:05:15.050 --> 00:05:20.810 family and what this balance activity looks like for you Bit of an overview 00:05:21.230 --> 00:05:22.700 Thanks Anne Thank you, Harriet. 00:05:23.330 --> 00:05:24.440 It's great to be here today. 00:05:24.560 --> 00:05:29.090 Uh, my background is I've been attending the same church as 00:05:29.090 --> 00:05:31.190 Anne for the last 25 years. 00:05:31.735 --> 00:05:35.395 In the northern suburbs of Sydney and yeah, we have four kids. 00:05:35.455 --> 00:05:36.625 I have a 00:05:36.825 --> 00:05:38.235 Wonderful wife, Michelle, who is 00:05:38.355 --> 00:05:43.965 midwife and um does a few different jobs So she has I think four different jobs 00:05:43.965 --> 00:05:51.075 that she works and at the moment we have four kids uh ranging from 13 to 17 years 00:05:51.075 --> 00:05:56.445 old Um we had two thought we'd go for an extra got a bonus and now we became 00:05:56.445 --> 00:05:58.305 that that family that has four kids 00:05:58.815 --> 00:05:59.865 ZOOM0025_Tr1: um, we 00:06:01.455 --> 00:06:05.505 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Heavily involved in lots of things When I was asking my daughter about 00:06:05.505 --> 00:06:12.885 this last night she said her friends say she's the, busiest person they know, Um 00:06:13.155 --> 00:06:17.265 they do a lot of stuff And I asked them do we do too much I said no we'd be bored 00:06:17.775 --> 00:06:18.465 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um 00:06:18.735 --> 00:06:23.265 ZOOM0025_Tr2: There's there's so many things to enjoy in this life Um so 00:06:23.655 --> 00:06:26.655 it's a question of balance Sometimes the balance goes too far we have a 00:06:26.655 --> 00:06:32.760 lot on um and sometimes It calms down a little bit and we start looking 00:06:32.760 --> 00:06:38.550 for more things to do but it's it's definitely something that I'm really to 00:06:38.640 --> 00:06:40.620 continue working on with our, kids and, 00:06:40.620 --> 00:06:46.020 set them up for a life um where they do have a, balance of life and 00:06:46.020 --> 00:06:53.310 fun um that is mixed through with their Christian walk Um throughout 00:06:53.310 --> 00:06:55.320 All that they do and not separated 00:06:55.530 --> 00:06:55.890 I think is 00:06:55.890 --> 00:06:56.400 a key for me 00:06:56.933 --> 00:06:59.873 Speaker: As we were thinking about this topic, I do wanna say we we're not a 00:06:59.873 --> 00:07:05.243 family that has it all together and it is a matter of trial and error and probably 00:07:05.243 --> 00:07:07.313 as many errors as there are successes. 00:07:07.883 --> 00:07:15.713 Um, but with, you know, faithful attempting more and more and, and looking 00:07:15.713 --> 00:07:20.133 hopefully towards, um, forgiveness in Christ, Jesus for when we make 00:07:20.133 --> 00:07:22.263 mistakes, um, we keep having a crack. 00:07:23.028 --> 00:07:26.718 And I think that's a really important thing to remember as parents, we're 00:07:26.718 --> 00:07:31.278 all learning, so you don't often get the opportunity to parent twice. 00:07:31.839 --> 00:07:35.619 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah well we're looking forward to chatting So the first thing 00:07:35.619 --> 00:07:40.299 it'd be good to talk about is what is the value of these extracurricular 00:07:40.299 --> 00:07:47.229 activities Why are they good things And as we were preparing this episode um in 00:07:47.229 --> 00:07:53.754 talking to Anthony I realized we're not just talking about Things that we take 00:07:53.754 --> 00:07:58.764 our kids to activities that we drop our children off at because a lot of these 00:07:58.764 --> 00:08:04.134 extracurriculars are actually run by community organizations and it's not just 00:08:04.134 --> 00:08:08.304 a service And we drop our kids off and pick them up again And so we're actually 00:08:08.304 --> 00:08:12.774 gonna talk about the value not just of doing the thing the extracurricular 00:08:12.774 --> 00:08:18.414 activity but also the value of being part of the whole Organization that runs that 00:08:18.414 --> 00:08:23.304 activity and perhaps even other community organizations So let's have a think about 00:08:23.694 --> 00:08:29.064 what is the value here Why Anthony do you think it's really important to be involved 00:08:29.064 --> 00:08:32.064 in these organizations and and clubs 00:08:33.069 --> 00:08:37.164 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think I learned a key example here from Anne shared 00:08:37.164 --> 00:08:42.954 this story with me years ago um about a controversial vote that was 00:08:42.954 --> 00:08:47.394 happening at the local school PNC uh which the Christian community. 00:08:47.394 --> 00:08:51.354 was not overly happy about So the Christians all turned up in force to the 00:08:51.354 --> 00:08:58.104 PNC meeting um ready to vote this this motion down and to be informed that oh 00:08:58.104 --> 00:09:01.284 no you need to be nominated at your first meeting You can vote at the second meeting 00:09:01.944 --> 00:09:02.184 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Oh 00:09:03.624 --> 00:09:08.814 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Um and because they weren't involved they couldn't just come 00:09:08.814 --> 00:09:13.314 in and muscle in And so we need this we're you know, we are gonna rally the 00:09:13.314 --> 00:09:19.824 troops Um,

because they had no history and, we took that lesson to heart and 00:09:19.824 --> 00:09:25.314 so we've tried to always influence from the inside of any organizations 00:09:25.314 --> 00:09:31.709 we're part of um and support those organizations it drives me nuts When I see 00:09:32.014 --> 00:09:32.234 ZOOM0025_Tr1: uh 00:09:33.359 --> 00:09:40.289 ZOOM0025_Tr2: uh someone professing to be a Christian drop their kids off um and 00:09:40.289 --> 00:09:45.479 leave and contribute nothing when there's other volunteers pouring their heart and 00:09:45.479 --> 00:09:51.179 soul into these organizations to make them work so we made a decision that we wanted 00:09:51.179 --> 00:09:56.099 to be part of the organizations and and support them and and share faith in that 00:09:56.219 --> 00:09:56.609 ZOOM0025_Tr1: way 00:09:56.879 --> 00:09:59.459 Mm-hmm So what are some examples What sort of um clubs and 00:09:59.459 --> 00:10:01.199 organizations have you been part of so 00:10:01.264 --> 00:10:05.734 ZOOM0025_Tr2: So school PNC was was one um that was more my wife She just has 00:10:06.004 --> 00:10:13.414 been heavily involved in that Um little athletics football clubs Um I think 00:10:13.424 --> 00:10:18.584 this is the first year in a long time that not coaching a winter sport Um So 00:10:18.644 --> 00:10:22.349 our local soccer club Then volunteering helping out with the barbecue or whatever 00:10:22.349 --> 00:10:28.739 at the a FL club well Um And then being there for band and other things 00:10:29.004 --> 00:10:29.005 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Um 00:10:29.339 --> 00:10:34.589 ZOOM0025_Tr2: um when needed So not not taking over um but just contributing 00:10:35.429 --> 00:10:40.949 And the ripple effect of that is enormous I think because are there and your 00:10:40.949 --> 00:10:47.129 children see So children see what looks like to be engaged contributing member 00:10:47.189 --> 00:10:51.509 of a community And they also see you doing that as a Christian So they see 00:10:51.509 --> 00:10:58.649 those um of the spirit being displayed as you that community So it children but 00:10:58.649 --> 00:11:03.209 it also builds relationships like real relationships with the other people in 00:11:03.209 --> 00:11:07.319 your community because you're working alongside them shared interest whether 00:11:07.319 --> 00:11:12.509 it's band or something happening the school or you know the little athletics 00:11:12.719 --> 00:11:18.709 a shared interest That that you Get know person and then you get to take the 00:11:18.709 --> 00:11:23.599 opportunity to who you are as a Christian You know what it means Yeah So the impact 00:11:23.599 --> 00:11:30.439 of being an active member is good for your kids but also so good for you as an adult 00:11:30.709 --> 00:11:30.889 Mm-hmm 00:11:31.894 --> 00:11:35.254 ZOOM0025_Tr1: So some of these activities then you've done as a whole family 00:11:35.254 --> 00:11:38.734 like the whole family's sort of been committed and involved say little 00:11:38.734 --> 00:11:42.004 athletics you're probably all in the same place at the same time is that right 00:11:42.874 --> 00:11:45.264 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah that was a self-preservation decision 00:11:45.954 --> 00:11:46.134 ZOOM0025_Tr1: uh where 00:11:46.134 --> 00:11:49.734 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Friday nights our our kids can all be in one place Uh it 00:11:49.734 --> 00:11:53.034 makes it a lot easier Saturdays are a lot harder They're all on different 00:11:53.034 --> 00:11:57.534 teams in different directions and we have to rely the community um and 00:11:57.924 --> 00:12:02.574 you know various people giving lifts to people and shipping kids around 00:12:02.754 --> 00:12:03.774 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm Yep 00:12:03.804 --> 00:12:06.324 ZOOM0025_Tr2: But yeah we we have made the decision particularly 00:12:06.324 --> 00:12:10.779 little athletics has been good for us Um to be in one place one time 00:12:10.794 --> 00:12:11.184 ZOOM0025_Tr1: time 00:12:12.009 --> 00:12:16.179 ZOOM0025_Tr2: And able to focus on on kids and part of that community 00:12:16.404 --> 00:12:19.224 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Because then in a way it's not detracting from family time 00:12:19.224 --> 00:12:22.344 it's actually building into family time It's a shared experience that you can 00:12:22.344 --> 00:12:27.114 talk about and um encourage each other with When you're all there together 00:12:27.309 --> 00:12:27.579 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Mm-hmm 00:12:28.449 --> 00:12:28.719 Yeah 00:12:29.604 --> 00:12:32.954 ZOOM0025_Tr1: So I guess as you participate in these organizations you're 00:12:32.954 --> 00:12:38.084 trying to encourage your kids and model to your kids how to do this in a Christian 00:12:38.084 --> 00:12:44.234 way I mean what are there some sort of um particular values or attitudes that 00:12:44.234 --> 00:12:48.074 you find yourself coming back to with the kids What does that look like to be a 00:12:48.074 --> 00:12:53.249 Christian volunteer in these organizations Um what are the some of the things 00:12:53.249 --> 00:12:54.689 you're trying to encourage your kids in 00:12:55.604 --> 00:12:57.884 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah I think there's definitely a as we're talking 00:12:57.884 --> 00:13:02.924 about balance in in what we do as a as a football coach I think I'm 00:13:02.924 --> 00:13:07.124 quite a good coach at um getting kids engaged getting to enjoy the 00:13:07.129 --> 00:13:09.134 game I'm not very good at winning 00:13:09.719 --> 00:13:09.989 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah I don't know 00:13:10.424 --> 00:13:14.804 ZOOM0025_Tr2: and don't know whether that's you know my coaching lack but um 00:13:15.314 --> 00:13:20.834 I I very much will rate my season on how many kids come back next year enjoyed the 00:13:20.834 --> 00:13:22.754 season rather than whether we won a trophy 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:23.429 ZOOM0025_Tr1: And 00:13:23.444 --> 00:13:27.794 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think having that discussion with the kids as well around 00:13:27.854 --> 00:13:31.214 what is important and what's not

And of course we'll play hard we'll do our very 00:13:31.214 --> 00:13:36.029 best and we'll work hard but it's not the be all and end all That discussion with 00:13:36.029 --> 00:13:38.879 the kids, has been really good as they've had different coaches through the years 00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:43.139 that have had different areas of focus and they give their feedback as to whether 00:13:43.139 --> 00:13:48.299 they're enjoying the game or not and saying well how would you change That has 00:13:48.299 --> 00:13:54.479 been really good with the kids I think for me one of the, other parts is to encourage 00:13:54.479 --> 00:13:59.909 the kids to take on responsibility for themselves to be their own advocate 00:14:00.899 --> 00:14:01.349 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um 00:14:01.409 --> 00:14:04.499 ZOOM0025_Tr2: So if they have a problem with band or got question 00:14:04.499 --> 00:14:07.469 about little athletics they can ask the 00:14:07.469 --> 00:14:07.889 question 00:14:08.024 --> 00:14:08.114 ZOOM0025_Tr1: They 00:14:08.579 --> 00:14:12.809 ZOOM0025_Tr2: to the adult and interact with the adult and ask the question Um 00:14:12.914 --> 00:14:15.229 ZOOM0025_Tr1: even though you might be there there you 00:14:15.229 --> 00:14:15.469 wanna 00:14:15.479 --> 00:14:17.309 ZOOM0025_Tr2: fight their battles For them 00:14:17.969 --> 00:14:18.059 It's 00:14:18.059 --> 00:14:18.359 been 00:14:19.079 --> 00:14:19.229 ZOOM0025_Tr3: you know 00:14:19.409 --> 00:14:21.419 ZOOM0025_Tr2: and yeah it will help them prep We'll help them if it's 00:14:21.539 --> 00:14:26.849 really difficult we'll help them plan Um we don't always succeed in that but 00:14:27.719 --> 00:14:27.809 We 00:14:27.809 --> 00:14:27.899 ZOOM0025_Tr1: try 00:14:27.964 --> 00:14:28.044 to 00:14:28.649 --> 00:14:32.119 Yeah Well that's a really great perspective on becoming part of a 00:14:32.119 --> 00:14:36.709 community organization as a Christian supporting it and caring for other 00:14:36.709 --> 00:14:42.679 people's children uh and just being there as a a faithful volunteer What are some 00:14:42.679 --> 00:14:46.939 other reasons why we might let our kids do extracurricular activities There's 00:14:46.939 --> 00:14:50.929 so many out there they're probably all good whether it's debating or chess or 00:14:50.929 --> 00:14:56.179 dance all sorts of things like why And have you uh encouraged your daughters 00:14:56.179 --> 00:14:58.834 to Get involved in some of these things 00:14:59.494 --> 00:15:03.874 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Well partly it's sometimes it's interest They want to do that 00:15:03.874 --> 00:15:07.804 particular activity Sometimes it's been something that I've encouraged them to 00:15:07.804 --> 00:15:13.924 have a go at Um uh so encourage them all to have a go at music Um only one of 00:15:13.924 --> 00:15:20.794 them has stuck with that Um we come from a sporty family so sport's been key and 00:15:20.794 --> 00:15:25.474 so I've sort of gone with their interest you go with their interest Again the 00:15:25.684 --> 00:15:34.294 balance comes into So as a had to pick things that fit our family structure uh 00:15:34.294 --> 00:15:41.404 but that's one aspect The other think into what you were Anthony you know how 00:15:41.404 --> 00:15:47.124 do we do what it is we're doing So I've been for of the the girls manager for 00:15:47.124 --> 00:15:51.774 the netball team Um never having played game of netball in my life Um but I 00:15:51.954 --> 00:15:59.784 could manage team As I talked my girls as was you know again tapping into are you 00:15:59.784 --> 00:16:06.114 enjoying it you supporting your teammates when lose Do you graciously when you win 00:16:06.114 --> 00:16:12.054 Do you you know applaud the other team coach the umpire you don't like are you 00:16:12.054 --> 00:16:17.604 respectful Um so those sort of character traits building that what they're 00:16:17.604 --> 00:16:19.914 doing has been really important yeah 00:16:21.324 --> 00:16:26.149 Yeah That growing up as an adult Over Greg a little bit proud parent moment The 00:16:26.149 --> 00:16:32.299 other day my uh 16-year-old son you know they won a football match Um one of the 00:16:32.389 --> 00:16:38.809 less valued players on the team um was a bit of an outsider had busted collarbone 00:16:38.989 --> 00:16:43.519 and so he was sitting with first aid The team went off into the change rooms sang 00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:49.279 the team song which they love singing when they win um and Get through walked 00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:56.839 out and he saw this other boy He said fellas missed this song let's get around 00:16:56.839 --> 00:17:02.629 him And I loved that Um just you know it 00:17:02.629 --> 00:17:02.719 ZOOM0025_Tr1: was 00:17:02.719 --> 00:17:02.869 like 00:17:03.109 --> 00:17:07.459 ZOOM0025_Tr2: oh that's you know you can take 10 marks and kick five goals whatever 00:17:07.819 --> 00:17:10.049 but that was a really proud moment 00:17:10.094 --> 00:17:13.304 ZOOM0025_Tr1: really special So it's like that character really looking at 00:17:13.304 --> 00:17:17.084 things that can help our children grow in the sorts of character traits that 00:17:17.084 --> 00:17:22.604 we value as Christians as well as the physical fitness and getting out and um 00:17:22.604 --> 00:17:25.514 using your body learning new skills um 00:17:26.474 --> 00:17:30.704 ZOOM0025_Tr2: God's creation in us The abilities that he's given us the 00:17:30.704 --> 00:17:35.159 relationships he's given us through a or through sport or through a music good 00:17:35.159 --> 00:17:37.259 gifts that God has given us to enjoy 00:17:37.349 --> 00:17:41.769 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah definitely Yeah we we are on the side of music and drama 00:17:41.769 --> 00:17:45.939 in our family and I can see that that's been really great like especially drama 00:17:45.999 --> 00:17:50.989 really great for their confidence and just finding that thing that they can do Um 00:17:51.049 --> 00:17:55.939 and as a not so sporty family we

are at a school that's fairly sporty And so if you 00:17:55.939 --> 00:18:01.879 don't do sport you sort of can miss out on um those opportunities to uh connect with 00:18:01.879 --> 00:18:06.139 different people across different year groups or be acknowledged in the school 00:18:06.139 --> 00:18:11.304 assemblies But as we've got involved in music that's sort of become a substitute 00:18:11.304 --> 00:18:16.494 I suppose that you do get to be in a group setting and learn teamwork um through the 00:18:16.494 --> 00:18:22.134 music And when you are on the stage you are being acknowledged Um yeah So there's 00:18:22.134 --> 00:18:28.534 different ways to enjoy these kinds of growth opportunities I guess But I think 00:18:28.534 --> 00:18:33.454 we are gonna need to look into the sport with our third son Just his personality 00:18:33.454 --> 00:18:39.154 He's gonna really need that sort of outlet Well let's talk for a minute um about how 00:18:39.154 --> 00:18:43.924 church fits into all of this because we don't want church to just be another thing 00:18:43.924 --> 00:18:48.394 on the list that's an opt-in opt sort of optional extra for the week cause as 00:18:48.394 --> 00:18:52.884 Christians we do wanna prioritize church We want it to be one of the key priorities 00:18:52.884 --> 00:19:00.434 of our week Um so how does that Influence how you guys think about extracurriculars 00:19:00.734 --> 00:19:02.084 How does church fit into it 00:19:03.809 --> 00:19:08.789 ZOOM0025_Tr2: It's been for us a an ongoing discussion and Anne's been part of 00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:15.719 some of these discussions over the years with us Um around the choices we make Uh 00:19:16.409 --> 00:19:20.879 two of our kids really wanted to play junior level a FL which is on a Sunday 00:19:20.879 --> 00:19:25.679 morning and On that for a consistent thing that's on a Sunday morning The 00:19:25.679 --> 00:19:31.649 answer was well no And and we had to have that discussion and explain it 00:19:31.649 --> 00:19:35.399 to them and they they came around And understood that it wasn't a you know 00:19:35.609 --> 00:19:40.199 we'll dictate what you do but they understood that that balance of attending 00:19:40.709 --> 00:19:42.329 church for us as a family was really? 00:19:42.329 --> 00:19:47.849 important That said a lot of the activities athletics championships okay 00:19:47.909 --> 00:19:52.124 most weeks athletics is on a Friday night Championships are on a Sunday morning Um 00:19:53.054 --> 00:19:57.824 pre-season a FL is on a Sunday morning So there are um weeks where we miss stuff 00:19:58.484 --> 00:19:58.994 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um 00:19:59.204 --> 00:20:01.334 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Band performances are on a Sunday morning 00:20:01.334 --> 00:20:01.904 Mm-hmm a lot of the 00:20:01.904 --> 00:20:07.274 time Um there are weeks where we miss things and That's that's part 00:20:07.274 --> 00:20:10.035 of the balance Um and it's it's 00:20:11.024 --> 00:20:11.324 ZOOM0025_Tr3: being 00:20:11.324 --> 00:20:15.164 ZOOM0025_Tr2: aware that we've made a commitment to team or to a group and 00:20:15.554 --> 00:20:18.855 you've gotta show for that group well So you can't just be like ah Yeah, I'm 00:20:19.004 --> 00:20:19.364 ZOOM0025_Tr1: just, gonna 00:20:19.734 --> 00:20:23.129 try Mm And so it sounds like for you guys there's a difference between the 00:20:23.189 --> 00:20:28.469 every week clash and the occasional clash that you would say no to a sport that's 00:20:28.589 --> 00:20:34.184 always played on at the same time as your church But if it's An ongoing commitment 00:20:34.184 --> 00:20:38.444 and it's a one-off thing then you're flexible we are not being legalistic 00:20:38.444 --> 00:20:43.154 about church And I know different families will come to different uh solutions 00:20:43.154 --> 00:20:48.584 on that And depending on how much um choice you have maybe your church has 00:20:48.584 --> 00:20:52.454 a night service I know many families if the sport happens on the Sunday 00:20:52.454 --> 00:20:56.204 morning they'll say yes to their child but we'll commit to going to the night 00:20:56.204 --> 00:21:01.439 service for that Season Um so if you've got more choice then perhaps you can 00:21:01.589 --> 00:21:05.309 solve that clash in different ways Yeah 00:21:05.849 --> 00:21:08.579 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think the key that said there that We don't wanna be legalistic 00:21:09.280 --> 00:21:16.210 um like our kids enjoy their sport their music their their cadets they make a 00:21:16.210 --> 00:21:24.040 commitment to to that we want them to have same joy in going to church So we want we 00:21:24.040 --> 00:21:29.460 want to guess instill in our children this is a really Good part of our week You know 00:21:29.460 --> 00:21:34.890 this good that we're doing um that we're doing as a family And we are also making 00:21:34.890 --> 00:21:41.910 a commitment you know don't show up are missed Um and I think would be very much 00:21:42.030 --> 00:21:47.280 case Um over the years at the church that and attend we've had various numbers of 00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:54.040 children And sometimes the Penn family with of um very noticeable when they're 00:21:54.040 --> 00:21:59.800 there um for all good reasons And they're also good at people Um when they're not 00:21:59.800 --> 00:22:04.120 there they're missed Um but but you know that there's a good reason for them not 00:22:04.120 --> 00:22:08.860 to there you know it certainly helps the rest of the church to be supportive 00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:11.170 and encouraging of them as a family 00:22:11.590 --> 00:22:14.980 ZOOM0025_Tr1: so could you tell us a bit more about that um bringing people with 00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:20.500 you So you've found that being involved in the community um has opened doors 00:22:20.500 --> 00:22:24.550 for you to then extend the invitation to bring those people with you to 00:22:24.550 --> 00:22:26.800 church or youth group Is that right 00:22:27.310 -->

00:22:34.370 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah certainly Uh it's the world of being genuine friends with 00:22:34.370 --> 00:22:41.615 people Remember seeing talk years ago um that was titled Friends Not for the 00:22:41.615 --> 00:22:47.855 sake of the gospel the sake of the gospel Um meaning we are not just friends with 00:22:47.855 --> 00:22:52.415 people to tell them about Jesus We're friends with people and we love them 00:22:52.595 --> 00:22:56.555 cause they're friends and therefore we want tell them about Jesus And it's 00:22:56.555 --> 00:23:02.465 getting to know people on that more personal level Um we've had a the strange 00:23:02.465 --> 00:23:06.575 scenario where athletics is on a Friday night and youth group is on a Friday 00:23:06.575 --> 00:23:11.095 night So, the Penn family disappears from youth group During the summer months 00:23:11.515 --> 00:23:15.385 but at the end of athletics then it's like anyone doing athletics with my 00:23:15.385 --> 00:23:20.485 boys they're hassling them to come to youth group you know through the winter 00:23:20.725 --> 00:23:25.555 and come on a Friday night We've had a few kids come along through that Um 00:23:26.140 --> 00:23:31.360 and even I say they've stayed even when Penn family goes back little 00:23:31.360 --> 00:23:39.040 athletics of been invited have stayed So you know an enormous impact that 00:23:39.040 --> 00:23:45.040 that knowing enough invite them genuinely and and they do They come 00:23:45.085 --> 00:23:45.505 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Mm-hmm 00:23:46.360 --> 00:23:51.070 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think you know my Friday nights um I've given the kids 00:23:51.070 --> 00:23:52.480 space to go to youth group And I don't 00:23:53.260 --> 00:23:53.470 ZOOM0025_Tr3: out 00:23:53.755 --> 00:23:54.025 ZOOM0025_Tr1: dare 00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:56.260 ZOOM0025_Tr2: My Friday nights has always been 00:23:57.100 --> 00:23:57.370 ZOOM0025_Tr3: um 00:23:57.400 --> 00:23:59.800 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I will drive you back and forth to youth group as many 00:23:59.800 --> 00:24:03.640 times, as is needed as long as I've got a full car Um so they need to 00:24:03.730 --> 00:24:05.080 invite enough friends fill the car 00:24:06.355 --> 00:24:08.485 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Wow There's a challenge every week 00:24:08.776 --> 00:24:09.160 ZOOM0025_Tr2: try and do that 00:24:10.885 --> 00:24:14.005 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah That's wonderful And something I was thinking about that 00:24:14.005 --> 00:24:17.365 I hadn't really thought about before but some of the things that our kids 00:24:17.365 --> 00:24:21.925 are learning in these extracurricular activities actually will then Bless the 00:24:21.925 --> 00:24:27.235 church So our kids are learning musical instruments Um and it's even encouraged 00:24:27.235 --> 00:24:32.765 me to dust off my instrument So last Christmas we played at like the family 00:24:32.765 --> 00:24:37.175 Christmas Eve service and we played a few Christmas carols on our instruments 00:24:37.475 --> 00:24:42.605 and it was like Our family plus a couple of extras um or our son's learning the 00:24:42.605 --> 00:24:48.195 piano And um so he's played at church once or twice So those skills that 00:24:48.195 --> 00:24:52.395 they're learning can actually then in turn bless our church or whether it's 00:24:52.395 --> 00:24:56.325 public speaking um they're learning debating or doing drama They might be 00:24:56.325 --> 00:25:02.055 gaining sort of confidence to maybe read a Bible reading or um serve in the youth 00:25:02.055 --> 00:25:07.555 group leadership team something like that So um That's just an interesting 00:25:07.615 --> 00:25:13.855 link It's not necessarily either or and these are enemies Um but actually it can 00:25:13.855 --> 00:25:18.025 integrate very well together if we are intentional about it as you guys have 00:25:18.025 --> 00:25:25.675 been Um so can we hear a little bit more about the secret please Anthony I know 00:25:25.675 --> 00:25:30.595 you have one No Um how do we stay sane with all of this Because I'm just so 00:25:30.685 --> 00:25:36.205 um Nervous I feel like if I say yes to child number one that I'm committing to 00:25:36.205 --> 00:25:40.885 four times that amount of time four times that amount of car travel four times that 00:25:40.885 --> 00:25:46.345 amount of money uh uniforms all of the admin I just I just feel overwhelmed at 00:25:46.345 --> 00:25:53.065 the thought of saying yes and just wonder Um yeah So one decision we made to stay 00:25:53.065 --> 00:25:58.570 sane was Same time same place all three of you although we might talk about this 00:25:58.570 --> 00:26:01.990 later but one of them now goes to youth group instead cause unfortunately cadets 00:26:01.990 --> 00:26:07.000 is on a Friday night as well Um but I'm worried about the busyness I don't wanna 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:11.710 be the mom whose catchphrase is hurry up get in the car Um I don't wanna be 00:26:11.710 --> 00:26:17.350 feeding them dinner in the car Um I don't Wanna be stretched financially just cause 00:26:17.350 --> 00:26:23.080 we've said yes to too many things And I I worry about um downtime Kids need 00:26:23.080 --> 00:26:27.700 downtime and I worry about family time I think having a meal together is really 00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:32.910 important So I'm sort of the no mom because I'm worried about all these the 00:26:32.910 --> 00:26:39.450 extreme that it it might get to in my head Um so yeah how do we find that balance 00:26:39.450 --> 00:26:45.410 How do we stay sane How many is too many Have you got any wisdom to share with us 00:26:46.100 --> 00:26:46.220 This 00:26:46.260 --> 00:26:49.785 ZOOM0025_Tr2: is a live topic in our house at moment as We come to the start of 00:26:50.355 --> 00:26:57.450 summer sport And think there's discussions around playing Some are netball running 00:26:57.450 --> 00:27:05.670 coaching other athletics basketball oztag soccer And then normal athletics uh which 00:27:05.670 --> 00:27:10.140 our kids wanna fit in the week

Um and that's a that's a live topic We haven't 00:27:10.140 --> 00:27:12.930 resolved that yet and it's like what are we gonna do and what are we not gonna 00:27:12.930 --> 00:27:19.620 do cause this is looking like chaos Um but I think the the key for us and this 00:27:19.620 --> 00:27:25.665 is Where my wife's particularly good at it is sitting down with him and having a 00:27:26.900 --> 00:27:27.190 ZOOM0025_Tr3: calm 00:27:27.375 --> 00:27:30.765 ZOOM0025_Tr2: And sensible conversation with the kids running through the pros 00:27:30.765 --> 00:27:36.615 and cons and allowing them to make the decisions And you know this scenario 00:27:38.085 --> 00:27:40.875 one of our boys is really good friends with a neighbor across the road and. 00:27:40.875 --> 00:27:43.515 he loves spending at least an afternoon a week just 00:27:44.190 --> 00:27:44.610 ZOOM0025_Tr3: I know 00:27:44.865 --> 00:27:45.945 ZOOM0025_Tr2: hitting each other with sticks or 00:27:45.945 --> 00:27:46.215 ZOOM0025_Tr1: something 00:27:47.625 --> 00:27:50.550 ZOOM0025_Tr2: um, where the other other one is Probably more passionate about 00:27:50.700 --> 00:27:55.260 team sports And so having that discussion around you know, you happy to not be 00:27:55.260 --> 00:28:00.210 in a team because you wanna spend time with the neighbor and and vice versa And 00:28:00.390 --> 00:28:05.070 allowing them to understand the I guess the flow on effects of every decision 00:28:05.610 --> 00:28:10.740 of you know if you choose to do this then this means this other person can't 00:28:10.740 --> 00:28:18.780 do that Um I think the other one I was talking to Michelle about my wife um 00:28:20.745 --> 00:28:25.785 There will be times when one kid needs to look like a favorite Not that they are 00:28:25.845 --> 00:28:32.835 favorite but they just need more your time as a parent and being honest with your 00:28:32.835 --> 00:28:36.405 kids um as a group That they're a team 00:28:37.380 --> 00:28:37.530 ZOOM0025_Tr1: they're 00:28:37.635 --> 00:28:41.265 ZOOM0025_Tr2: of themselves And sometimes one of the team needs more more help 00:28:41.265 --> 00:28:45.555 and support or more time driving I've got one kid on L plates that's a lot 00:28:45.555 --> 00:28:48.105 of hours and they need a lot of time 00:28:48.810 --> 00:28:49.080 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm Um 00:28:49.620 --> 00:28:53.400 ZOOM0025_Tr2: And being really clear that we are doing our best to be balanced 00:28:54.060 --> 00:28:54.480 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um 00:28:54.750 --> 00:28:57.580 ZOOM0025_Tr2: but does change How much time some get 00:28:57.910 --> 00:28:58.390 ZOOM0025_Tr1: for a little while 00:28:58.795 --> 00:29:02.405 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think that's really helpful Um it it's almost like a round 00:29:02.405 --> 00:29:07.625 table discussion isn't it Where you are putting out the factors consider you know 00:29:07.805 --> 00:29:12.755 is what week looks like These are the we this what we used to have do This is what 00:29:12.755 --> 00:29:18.365 we have to do a week things that you want to do are things that are good for us to 00:29:18.365 --> 00:29:23.480 do So we include like downtime Uh we were really blessed that we could walk to and 00:29:23.690 --> 00:29:28.700 school which eats into some of your but it was a great time walking to and from 00:29:28.700 --> 00:29:32.510 school and we'd often have a bunch of other kids walking with us So you know 00:29:32.510 --> 00:29:38.150 it was just this really fun moment and we liked to have downtime where you could 00:29:38.150 --> 00:29:45.155 just go and get a a milkshake or you could to the park or you could Just do nothing 00:29:45.185 --> 00:29:49.605 you know or invite friends over And so for me was helping my girls understand 00:29:50.055 --> 00:29:54.975 there's bunch of stuff here that we want to do Let's all of it and work out what 00:29:55.025 --> 00:29:58.595 what are we gonna prioritize here And there always sacrifices I think that's 00:29:58.985 --> 00:30:05.135 the point to understand this you have to weigh things up work what direction 00:30:05.645 --> 00:30:08.130 But we flexibility we said we'll try it 00:30:08.315 --> 00:30:08.465 ZOOM0025_Tr1: it 00:30:09.350 --> 00:30:13.910 ZOOM0025_Tr2: try it for a term and if it doesn't work in our timeframe 00:30:14.150 --> 00:30:19.130 puts too much stress on us as a family or us financially then actually 00:30:19.130 --> 00:30:25.170 we'll call it say no And sometimes we did that we gave it a try and 00:30:25.590 --> 00:30:25.800 yeah 00:30:26.610 --> 00:30:29.100 And often it just wasn't gonna fit 00:30:29.250 --> 00:30:32.730 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah We might talk more about that actually So sometimes 00:30:32.760 --> 00:30:37.740 we might try something or start on a path with a sport or an activity 00:30:38.100 --> 00:30:42.540 It could be dance I know a lot of families do a lot of dance Um but 00:30:42.750 --> 00:30:44.101 sometimes we're gonna have to sort of 00:30:44.130 --> 00:30:44.340 ZOOM0025_Tr2: of 00:30:45.270 --> 00:30:49.320 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Stop their progress on that track if it's not working if it's too 00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:54.270 much for us or if there's a persistent Sunday clash Um I remember you saying 00:30:54.270 --> 00:30:58.030 Anne that you were reluctant to get involved in soccer because you knew that 00:30:58.060 --> 00:31:03.530 once it hit a certain level if your child was good at The soccer for the women's 00:31:03.530 --> 00:31:08.240 it was always gonna be on a Sunday So how do we talk about that with our kids 00:31:08.450 --> 00:31:12.380 when they might be really gifted at it They could do 10 hours of gymnastics a 00:31:12.380 --> 00:31:16.250 week Uh cause they're actually really good at it Um and they're being invited 00:31:16.250 --> 00:31:21.410 to How do we have that conversation about we are gonna have to say no on 00:31:21.410 --> 00:31:25.940 this one Like I imagine you've had to do that Anthony you got any points that 00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:30.970

you would raise with your children or frame the discussion around saying no I 00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:31.660 think it's 00:31:31.690 --> 00:31:38.350 ZOOM0025_Tr2: that that same and say the round table conversation where you 00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:44.380 explain it's not just this impact on a Sunday morning it's also what are the 00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:49.750 other impacts So for me uh it would've been rep level football for one of my boys 00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:53.260 He would he would love to try He's never even tried out I dunno whether he'd make 00:31:53.260 --> 00:31:57.520 the team but we looked at that and that there was three nights a week training uh 00:31:57.550 --> 00:32:03.190 which was half an hour away plus Sunday mornings plus travel you know around the 00:32:03.190 --> 00:32:08.530 state not just, around the city but around the state to um to be playing that often 00:32:08.530 --> 00:32:14.990 on a Sunday Um and we just mapped that out and He could see it and you could 00:32:14.990 --> 00:32:20.600 see he wanted to do Like we can't fit this in This means that your siblings 00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:22.700 are getting a lift to their sport every 00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:23.000 week 00:32:23.780 --> 00:32:28.170 Um your siblings are getting a lift to church every week if 00:32:28.170 --> 00:32:29.460 they're going without us like it 00:32:29.940 --> 00:32:30.000 ZOOM0025_Tr1: you 00:32:30.030 --> 00:32:31.860 ZOOM0025_Tr2: know and that or you are getting a lift with 00:32:31.860 --> 00:32:34.665 someone and that think that It was 00:32:34.800 --> 00:32:35.250 ZOOM0025_Tr1: discussion 00:32:35.250 --> 00:32:39.030 Mm-hmm And if you've had those prior discussions as you mentioned earlier about 00:32:39.030 --> 00:32:43.440 what is the sport about it's not just about getting to the top or succeeding 00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:48.360 or being the best or winning um I think they would have a more balanced view to 00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:53.470 be able to say no But if they're a family that the only goal has been to succeed and 00:32:53.470 --> 00:32:58.210 to win then of course they're not gonna be happy about stopping that progression 00:32:58.450 --> 00:33:02.800 But if you've given that really balanced view of what are we doing this for in the 00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:07.990 first place then you've got more ground to actually keep the balance I think 00:33:08.290 --> 00:33:12.166 ZOOM0025_Tr2: we used to Always have a conversation as well about what's going 00:33:12.166 --> 00:33:19.876 to most honor God in this and and that heaven focus of actually here to enjoy 00:33:19.876 --> 00:33:23.756 life you know God's put us here to enjoy life and there's so much to enjoy but 00:33:23.756 --> 00:33:30.176 we're here to serve him here to honor him in what we do And so I used sort rather 00:33:30.176 --> 00:33:35.636 you girls learn how to at learning a musical instrument cause you learn how 00:33:35.636 --> 00:33:40.916 to persist You learn you learn how to be faithful learn how to be in sporting team 00:33:41.156 --> 00:33:47.306 use physical abilities god's given you but learn sportsmanship and encouragement and 00:33:47.306 --> 00:33:54.686 respect and you know um following rules because that's important And boundaries 00:33:55.256 --> 00:33:59.846 that's what you need through your life and those things you're going take you 00:34:00.416 --> 00:34:07.121 But Being in the first you know a grade netball or playing netball at you hours 00:34:07.121 --> 00:34:12.851 a week that's actually not to give you what ultimately is gonna glorify God Not 00:34:12.851 --> 00:34:18.236 saying those things are wrong but was more at long-term character And also the 00:34:18.236 --> 00:34:20.936 fact that what's God want us here to do 00:34:21.161 --> 00:34:22.601 ZOOM0025_Tr1: And you'll learn that at any level 00:34:23.246 --> 00:34:27.896 ZOOM0025_Tr2: at level You can learn that any activity Um so think that's 00:34:27.896 --> 00:34:30.116 also where the balance came in for us 00:34:30.146 --> 00:34:30.476 Mm-hmm 00:34:31.226 --> 00:34:36.386 one way one thing where you see um is there's quite a lot families 00:34:36.386 --> 00:34:42.596 where they'll invest everything into one child that is you know perhaps 00:34:42.596 --> 00:34:44.336 hoping to be an Olympian or Or 00:34:45.311 --> 00:34:45.551 ZOOM0025_Tr3: you know 00:34:46.346 --> 00:34:50.066 ZOOM0025_Tr2: at a world level in a particular sport and throw everything 00:34:50.066 --> 00:34:55.706 into that Um partially probably cause I don't think any of our kids are at that 00:34:55.706 --> 00:35:02.456 level Um but also um because we we didn't want to be so focused we're not that 00:35:02.456 --> 00:35:09.446 in intense about things Um we've always adapted to take on multiple things learn 00:35:09.446 --> 00:35:13.421 lots of different skills in life I I actually heard I didn't know this heard 00:35:13.421 --> 00:35:20.171 it recently the the phrase jack of all trades master of none um has a second half 00:35:20.771 --> 00:35:21.041 Oh 00:35:21.431 --> 00:35:24.731 Um which is is often better than a master of one 00:35:25.841 --> 00:35:26.081 um 00:35:26.531 --> 00:35:29.891 I didn't know that Someone told me that recently and I said I took that to heart 00:35:29.891 --> 00:35:34.211 I'm like that's a really great saying We want our kids to be well-rounded Um 00:35:35.051 --> 00:35:39.131 you know you can you can potentially play football every day and be amazing 00:35:39.131 --> 00:35:40.331 and ruin your knees by the time. 00:35:40.331 --> 00:35:44.846 you're 35 Um, and you know that's 00:35:44.936 --> 00:35:44.996 ZOOM0025_Tr3: it 00:35:46.136 --> 00:35:49.016 ZOOM0025_Tr2: that's not the path we wanted for our kids Uh we wanted a 00:35:49.016 --> 00:35:58.106 balance of sport and physical activity Um music and drama and arts uh as well 00:35:58.106 --> 00:36:03.746 as sciences and different skills Um so that they're well-rounded individuals

00:36:04.091 --> 00:36:04.451 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm 00:36:04.796 --> 00:36:06.086 ZOOM0025_Tr2: different people have different priorities 00:36:06.206 --> 00:36:07.106 That's what we've chosen 00:36:07.496 --> 00:36:07.736 Yep 00:36:08.126 --> 00:36:12.476 Um and we think that's God's path for us But other people God may call you 00:36:12.476 --> 00:36:18.206 to be an a hundred meter sprinter uh and share the gospel that way well 00:36:18.431 --> 00:36:18.791 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm 00:36:19.046 --> 00:36:23.276 ZOOM0025_Tr2: that's the key isn't it How what are we doing in the activities uh 00:36:23.276 --> 00:36:27.986 as Christians you know So Yeah absolutely That might be a hundred meter sprinter 00:36:28.331 --> 00:36:29.986 ZOOM0025_Tr1: And are your siblings still okay though 00:36:30.231 --> 00:36:30.232 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yes 00:36:31.606 --> 00:36:34.872 ZOOM0025_Tr1: How how does it affect the rest of the family Yeah yeah 00:36:35.606 --> 00:36:35.756 ZOOM0025_Tr2: No 00:36:36.011 --> 00:36:40.601 ZOOM0025_Tr1: and something just to um keep in mind as well is that we don't 00:36:40.601 --> 00:36:45.941 actually always have to pay for all of these things So if we want our children 00:36:45.971 --> 00:36:52.391 to be well-rounded and we are musical We can teach them music We can do music 00:36:52.391 --> 00:36:58.601 as a family uh for example Or if we are a great swimmer or great at soccer 00:36:58.601 --> 00:37:04.871 or whatever we can go down to the oval as a family and practice soccer Um so 00:37:04.871 --> 00:37:10.646 I think you know uh If people have a tight budget or are worried about family 00:37:10.646 --> 00:37:15.146 time you can start thinking about ways to integrate this all together that 00:37:15.266 --> 00:37:18.656 uh your children don't have to miss out if you can't afford the external 00:37:18.656 --> 00:37:23.606 activity or um all of these things we're wanting our children to learn There are 00:37:23.606 --> 00:37:24.747 lots of different ways to learn them 00:37:24.751 --> 00:37:25.021 ZOOM0025_Tr2: them 00:37:25.201 --> 00:37:28.621 can take a soccer ball down to a park with a bunch of friends 00:37:28.801 --> 00:37:30.061 and kick the soccer ball 00:37:30.116 --> 00:37:30.406 Yeah 00:37:31.486 --> 00:37:32.206 of my favorite activities 00:37:32.371 --> 00:37:39.511 yeah So can get you know physical You you know encourage aspects of working 00:37:39.511 --> 00:37:44.401 together in all sorts things Yeah Just having fun in God's good creation 00:37:45.316 --> 00:37:48.166 ZOOM0025_Tr1: definitely But well-rounded is something good to aim for for the 00:37:48.166 --> 00:37:52.546 adults as well as the children I dunno if anyone watched parental guidance but 00:37:53.116 --> 00:37:58.816 it is um it's not quite a reality TV show but with Dr Justin Olson and one of the 00:37:58.876 --> 00:38:04.996 um things that I picked up on was when they went to uh see What place fitness 00:38:04.996 --> 00:38:09.346 and physical health

had in the family They didn't test the children's fitness 00:38:09.466 --> 00:38:13.336 They tested the adults fitness cause apparently that's the number one predictor 00:38:13.336 --> 00:38:19.276 of children's uh sort of physical fitness is that the parents fitness So there you 00:38:19.276 --> 00:38:24.916 go There's another thing throw into the balance is our own need for and exercise 00:38:24.916 --> 00:38:29.086 and and balance Well let's just talk briefly about another sort of tricky 00:38:29.086 --> 00:38:33.666 situation Say our child has committed to an activity and then they come home 00:38:33.666 --> 00:38:40.296 one one day and say I'm quitting I don't wanna do that anymore Um ours I mean our 00:38:40.296 --> 00:38:45.136 situation wasn't quite Phrased like that but uh one of our sons as we knew would 00:38:45.136 --> 00:38:49.606 happen cause cadets as I said is on a Friday night We knew that the clash with 00:38:49.606 --> 00:38:54.616 youth group would happen eventually Our own church is um quite small and not many 00:38:54.616 --> 00:38:57.196 young people so we don't have a youth group of our own But there are lots of 00:38:57.196 --> 00:39:02.506 local youth groups that a lot of the Christian kids go to And so our son our 00:39:02.506 --> 00:39:07.336 eldest did come home and say I am thinking about quitting cadets to go to youth group 00:39:07.726 --> 00:39:11.941 And we've always said We will support that decision if that's your decision because 00:39:11.941 --> 00:39:15.481 we think youth group's a good thing as well We definitely value everything 00:39:15.481 --> 00:39:17.971 they're learning at cadets Um and 00:39:18.706 --> 00:39:19.066 ZOOM0025_Tr2: yeah 00:39:19.111 --> 00:39:21.571 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Really happy with the things they've learned there They 00:39:21.571 --> 00:39:26.581 learn leadership For us it's an all-boy environment which is unique We don't often 00:39:26.581 --> 00:39:31.651 have an environment where there's just a group of boys together um and they learn 00:39:31.651 --> 00:39:35.701 all sorts of interesting educational things It's a really good balance between 00:39:35.701 --> 00:39:41.431 physical activity um and education and other things that they learn Um but We 00:39:41.431 --> 00:39:45.901 sort of had to talk it through with him Well how do you quit Well and so like you 00:39:45.901 --> 00:39:50.011 we said well you are gonna need to talk to the leader of cadets You're gonna need 00:39:50.011 --> 00:39:54.931 to make time to chat with him about when you're gonna finish up and make a date 00:39:54.961 --> 00:40:00.931 Like don't just quit today I'm not gonna let you just quit today You can uh pick 00:40:00.991 --> 00:40:05.221 an important occasion for cadets whether it's Anzac Day or whether it's the end of 00:40:05.221 --> 00:40:10.576 year parade and don't ditch them Before that commitment Let's see that out And 00:40:10.576 --> 00:40:17.686 you can perform your role at one of these events and

go out then um and not just 00:40:17.746 --> 00:40:22.921 quit to quit to sit at home and play the Xbox or something but he was Wanting to 00:40:23.131 --> 00:40:27.631 do youth group which we felt was a really good thing as well So that's some of the 00:40:27.631 --> 00:40:32.701 things we encourage him to do Don't quit straight away and you need to talk to the 00:40:32.701 --> 00:40:39.121 leader and um make an exit strategy that's honoring to your commitment I suppose Um 00:40:39.151 --> 00:40:43.921 what about you Anthony Have you had to have that Um I want a quick conversation 00:40:44.011 --> 00:40:49.081 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah Very very similar approach Um you I'm finished with band Um 00:40:49.501 --> 00:40:54.181 I don't wanna do it anymore Okay well you will get past the whatever performance 00:40:54.181 --> 00:40:56.731 is coming up you're gonna tell your teacher that you're leaving after that 00:40:56.731 --> 00:41:01.351 performance and can you go But until then you will try your hardest And it's you 00:41:01.351 --> 00:41:07.261 know that's setting up for work life You know as as I've people resign at work one 00:41:07.261 --> 00:41:11.431 of the bits feedback I give is the next four weeks after you resign if you're 00:41:11.431 --> 00:41:17.431 gonna work out your notice period Um is a reflection of your character You know 00:41:17.431 --> 00:41:22.321 you continue to work or you can f around and I can't control that thing If we can 00:41:22.321 --> 00:41:25.741 teach that into our kids Makes them, good 00:41:26.896 --> 00:41:29.086 ZOOM0025_Tr1: the character Character again 00:41:29.251 --> 00:41:33.001 ZOOM0025_Tr2: and I think even um made me reflect back on a situation with one 00:41:33.001 --> 00:41:38.896 of my daughters There was um netball can be quite a complicated sport to be 00:41:38.896 --> 00:41:43.546 placed into a grade and it's all got to do with numbers and if played before 00:41:44.026 --> 00:41:48.526 that impacts what grade you're put into And so she was put into a team for one 00:41:48.526 --> 00:41:58.241 season that was well below the level at she was devastated Um and you know I was 00:41:58.241 --> 00:42:03.041 thinking is she gonna wanna quit here had a a good conversation about fact that 00:42:03.431 --> 00:42:08.201 she'd signed up she'd made a commitment uh she was placed in this team so had 00:42:08.231 --> 00:42:13.471 commitment to she played in this team um and that she needed to honor That 00:42:13.471 --> 00:42:19.351 commitment in terms how she did faithful turn up be encouraging you know support 00:42:19.351 --> 00:42:23.641 the coach support the other players be cause of these players never played 00:42:23.641 --> 00:42:30.191 before Um and that was a hard season but she grew so in her character From 00:42:30.191 --> 00:42:36.281 that experience so that you know that's another aspect of when things are tough 00:42:36.431 --> 00:42:41.531 I mean learning a musical instrument um is tough on everybody when first learning 00:42:41.531 --> 00:42:41.591 it 00:42:41.696 --> 00:42:41.996 ZOOM0025_Tr3: It's tough 00:42:42.596 --> 00:42:43.676 ZOOM0025_Tr1: the violin No 00:42:43.876 --> 00:42:46.661 ZOOM0025_Tr2: no saxophone saxophone too Lemme 00:42:46.661 --> 00:42:46.976 see We have 00:42:46.976 --> 00:42:48.116 ZOOM0025_Tr1: we have a saxophone 00:42:48.401 --> 00:42:48.851 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I've done that 00:42:48.926 --> 00:42:50.816 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Trumpet saxophone piano 00:42:51.071 --> 00:42:55.121 ZOOM0025_Tr2: but but even that learning how to persist so them skills how to 00:42:55.121 --> 00:42:59.801 break down to this level move on to the next level you know how to cope 00:42:59.801 --> 00:43:04.601 with disappointment of that comes into perseverance which again leads into 00:43:04.601 --> 00:43:09.641 character as you said And that's a godly attribute isn't it That we learn how to 00:43:10.511 --> 00:43:14.261 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah Well we're actually gonna wrap up our conversation very soon 00:43:14.561 --> 00:43:19.831 Um but to finish I wanted to talk about something that again um I've heard from 00:43:19.831 --> 00:43:26.956 Anthony in recent times about Just the the general idea of trying to connect in our 00:43:26.956 --> 00:43:30.976 community trying to build relationships genuine friendships with the people that 00:43:30.976 --> 00:43:35.626 we live around or cross paths with at school or um our neighbors and so on 00:43:36.076 --> 00:43:41.396 Um I thought let's just zoom out a bit not just Extracurriculars but community 00:43:41.396 --> 00:43:46.416 connection opportunities What are some things that uh have worked uh I know 00:43:46.416 --> 00:43:51.546 Anthony you've talked about when you first moved into your home or your street 00:43:51.576 --> 00:43:55.026 you sort of had a bit of a philosophy there Do you wanna tell us about that 00:43:55.086 --> 00:43:57.771 Um when you first moved into your house 00:43:58.736 --> 00:43:59.026 ZOOM0025_Tr2: when 00:43:59.026 --> 00:44:04.511 we when we looked at our house we are in um it was beyond our price range and 00:44:04.511 --> 00:44:06.221 we said God would really like this house 00:44:06.641 --> 00:44:06.701 Um 00:44:07.316 --> 00:44:10.856 Then he conveniently arranged for the price to be dropped into our price 00:44:10.856 --> 00:44:16.736 range Um but we said it would be a house that was open Uh so we chose 00:44:16.821 --> 00:44:16.941 ZOOM0025_Tr1: a 00:44:17.876 --> 00:44:18.296 ZOOM0025_Tr3: uh 00:44:18.356 --> 00:44:19.616 ZOOM0025_Tr2: a house with no front fence 00:44:20.606 --> 00:44:21.116 ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um 00:44:21.476 --> 00:44:27.056 ZOOM0025_Tr2: we lawn where people can see what's going on Um And we actually have 00:44:27.201 --> 00:44:31.966 we have quite large windows at the front where it's almost like it's connected to 00:44:31.966 --> 00:44:35.447 the street and we we want kids coming in and out We want families coming in and out 00:44:35.611 -->

00:44:35.671 I 00:44:36.541 --> 00:44:44.131 think a big part for us was to build relationships with whole families Um so if 00:44:44.131 --> 00:44:49.021 our kids were hanging out with kids we'd try with the parents and but the credit 00:44:49.021 --> 00:44:53.641 for this is to go to my wife who spent a lot more time and effort and is far better 00:44:53.641 --> 00:45:00.051 at this than me building relationships so that it's a whole of family connection 00:45:01.281 --> 00:45:06.666 and now when when our kids are at youth group we can hang out with parents Um and 00:45:06.876 --> 00:45:09.396 and build relationships that way As well 00:45:09.681 --> 00:45:11.241 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Tell us about Park Day 00:45:11.766 --> 00:45:17.376 ZOOM0025_Tr2: So this was uh an initiative that my wife ran when our kids were in 00:45:17.436 --> 00:45:23.106 primary school and now been handed on to someone else um where just every afternoon 00:45:23.706 --> 00:45:28.896 uh a box of cups and a thermos couple of thermos full of hot water um would 00:45:28.896 --> 00:45:33.576 be taken to the park near our school And um anyone that wanted to join would join 00:45:33.876 --> 00:45:33.936 Mm 00:45:34.071 --> 00:45:34.221 ZOOM0025_Tr1: And 00:45:35.646 --> 00:45:38.236 ZOOM0025_Tr2: The Christians in our community none of them were from 00:45:38.236 --> 00:45:43.206 our church um but we knew them um cotton Dawn that this was an amazing 00:45:43.656 --> 00:45:48.786 way to interact with the community And we'd have I dunno as many as 50 00:45:49.101 --> 00:45:51.771 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah Was that a particular day of the week And you'd say 00:45:51.771 --> 00:45:52.791 that every every Wednesday 00:45:52.796 --> 00:45:53.576 Wednesdays Park Day 00:45:53.576 --> 00:45:54.411 Wednesday Park Day 00:45:54.906 --> 00:45:57.366 ZOOM0025_Tr2: and the kids knew and they'd go and just muck around at 00:45:57.366 --> 00:46:01.326 the park people would bring a you know packet of biscuits to share but 00:46:01.326 --> 00:46:03.276 it built such amazing relationship 00:46:03.336 --> 00:46:03.396 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm 00:46:04.251 --> 00:46:05.631 ZOOM0025_Tr2: Across all. 00:46:05.631 --> 00:46:09.711 parts of the community Sometimes you'd have grandparents picking up 00:46:09.711 --> 00:46:10.971 if the kids were at work you'd have 00:46:11.046 --> 00:46:11.466 ZOOM0025_Tr3: kids 00:46:11.871 --> 00:46:14.031 ZOOM0025_Tr2: you know or someone would say I'm stuck at work 00:46:14.331 --> 00:46:15.651 my kids are coming Park Day 00:46:16.116 --> 00:46:16.326 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Um 00:46:16.761 --> 00:46:20.781 ZOOM0025_Tr2: And and so it just built a lot community relationships 00:46:21.231 --> 00:46:25.341 and was an amazing gospel to opportunity to sit And share the gospel 00:46:25.926 --> 00:46:28.086 ZOOM0025_Tr1: yeah that's wonderful So simple 00:46:28.311 --> 00:46:32.466 ZOOM0025_Tr2: idea of merging cultures isn't it You know something a shared 00:46:32.466 --> 00:46:35.496 activity and having Christians non-Christians doing it together 00:46:36.186 --> 00:46:39.576 building those relationships which gives you the opportunity to talk 00:46:39.576 --> 00:46:40.866 about Jesus as you get to know 00:46:41.556 --> 00:46:42.786 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Is it an amazing park 00:46:43.266 --> 00:46:43.566 ZOOM0025_Tr2: No 00:46:43.661 --> 00:46:43.991 it's a 00:46:44.211 --> 00:46:44.611 ZOOM0025_Tr1: rubbish 00:46:44.611 --> 00:46:45.611 park I mean, 00:46:46.446 --> 00:46:48.066 ZOOM0025_Tr2: yeah but give kids 00:46:48.306 --> 00:46:48.966 ZOOM0025_Tr1: time 00:46:49.026 --> 00:46:52.206 ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think the it sounds like we have a very busy life but we 00:46:52.206 --> 00:46:57.246 do actually try and have conscious time for kids to be bored and to spend time. 00:46:57.246 --> 00:47:01.226 at park With no directed play And they have to amuse themselves and 00:47:01.641 --> 00:47:05.661 And there's not much this park either Like it's a pretty bland park really 00:47:05.696 --> 00:47:05.986 Yeah, 00:47:06.171 --> 00:47:06.471 Yeah 00:47:06.906 --> 00:47:11.226 ZOOM0025_Tr1: So they get that wonderful time to do imaginative nature Play sticks 00:47:11.556 --> 00:47:17.316 love sticks Well Girls might love sticks too but my boys love sticks Yep Yeah 00:47:17.316 --> 00:47:20.946 That's wonderful So that's a really simple idea If your children are not yet old 00:47:20.946 --> 00:47:26.076 enough for any extracurricular community organization run activities just go to the 00:47:26.076 --> 00:47:31.346 park once a week and whoever Yeah I mean We have our front yard with no fence as 00:47:31.346 --> 00:47:36.086 well and we live in a cul-de-sac which is really great So and I think COVID really 00:47:36.086 --> 00:47:41.616 helped our our neighborly connections Hugely So the kids got to know each other 00:47:41.616 --> 00:47:46.206 in the street And so in recent times we've bought a ping pong table in our garage We 00:47:46.206 --> 00:47:51.126 just lift up the garage door and the ping pong table's there or a little portable 00:47:51.156 --> 00:47:55.566 badminton set We got it from Rebel or somewhere and it all packs into a box and 00:47:55.566 --> 00:48:00.216 it's really handy So now on the weekends we often just have those things out on 00:48:00.216 --> 00:48:05.346 our lawn and another family has the So Nets and another family has a trampoline 00:48:05.346 --> 00:48:10.601 out the front and so the kids can sort of Go between all the houses and yeah it's 00:48:10.601 --> 00:48:15.221 a wonderful um you know sometimes it's one parent watching them other times that 00:48:15.221 --> 00:48:19.061 all the moms are standing around having a cup of tea while they watch the kids 00:48:19.061 --> 00:48:25.241 And it's really uh special and wonderful to feel connected into the community uh 00:48:25.241 --> 00:48:30.231 where you live and the neighborhood Um in the holidays we had a campfire Another 00:48:30.231 --> 00:48:34.931 simple thing but we

chose some of our kids would prefer to have it in our backyard 00:48:34.931 --> 00:48:39.761 where it's just our family time Um and I hope we might do that for their sake 00:48:39.821 --> 00:48:44.381 another time But this time we encourage them let's have it in the front yard And 00:48:44.381 --> 00:48:48.926 we just told the other families that have kids in the street Just we're gonna have 00:48:48.926 --> 00:48:54.956 a campfire four till six And I didn't really plan any particular food or drink 00:48:54.956 --> 00:48:59.726 I did buy marshmallows and digestive biscuits to make s'mores but that's all 00:48:59.756 --> 00:49:05.066 But people turned up with pizza and sushi and drinks and I mean tell us about um 00:49:05.066 --> 00:49:10.561 your approach to hospitality because I think Anthony People can think oh open 00:49:10.561 --> 00:49:15.541 house I've gotta keep it clean all the time And Oh that would be so stressful Um 00:49:15.601 --> 00:49:20.341 trying to entertain and be hospitable I mean yeah What are your thoughts on that 00:49:20.981 --> 00:49:24.956 ZOOM0025_Tr2: we try and be Not to pretend like, yes, if we know people 00:49:24.956 --> 00:49:30.506 are coming over, the kids are told we are cleaning up the house, but, um, we 00:49:30.506 --> 00:49:32.186 want people coming over all the time. 00:49:32.456 --> 00:49:36.026 I think growing up for me, uh, my mom had plate on the wall that said, 00:49:36.026 --> 00:49:38.186 come in, sit down, relax, converse. 00:49:38.636 --> 00:49:40.256 Our house doesn't always look like this. 00:49:40.256 --> 00:49:41.516 Sometimes it's even worse. 00:49:42.236 --> 00:49:46.316 Um, and that was the attitude, like if our house is chaos, our house is 00:49:46.316 --> 00:49:48.266 chaos and people can be part of that. 00:49:48.326 --> 00:49:52.061 There's football boots and stinky socks, 'cause the kids have come in on 00:49:52.061 --> 00:49:55.391 a Saturday and chucked their clothes everywhere and someone drops in. 00:49:55.631 --> 00:49:56.081 So be it. 00:49:56.111 --> 00:49:57.161 That's, that's real life. 00:49:57.161 --> 00:50:00.611 And I think learned a lesson, uh, a number of years ago. 00:50:01.421 --> 00:50:05.741 From a locum minister who said at his previous church, no one would do 00:50:05.741 --> 00:50:12.341 hospitality because one family was amazing at and they had a glamorous Sunday lunch 00:50:12.341 --> 00:50:17.291 every week with all beautiful China and no one else was brave enough to, um, host. 00:50:17.921 --> 00:50:24.071 So out attitude is is there will be 50 sausages in fridge and a couple 00:50:24.071 --> 00:50:27.191 of loaves bread, and if people come over they can have snags and. 00:50:28.001 --> 00:50:30.911 you know There'll there'll be other stuff, but often we find if people 00:50:30.911 --> 00:50:33.161 come over, we end up with more food than we started with anyway. 00:50:33.701 --> 00:50:34.751 Because all come and share. 00:50:35.051 --> 00:50:35.231 Yeah 00:50:35.561 --> 00:50:35.861 ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah. 00:50:35.921 --> 00:50:38.531 Don't be afraid to just open up your house. 00:50:38.771 --> 00:50:39.761 Yeah, no, 00:50:39.941 --> 00:50:40.156 ZOOM0025_Tr2: that are 00:50:40.856 --> 00:50:41.066 Hmm 00:50:41.771 --> 00:50:42.551 ZOOM0025_Tr1: that's true. 00:50:42.611 --> 00:50:42.851 Yeah. 00:50:42.851 --> 00:50:46.211 Well, that's just a really wonderful picture, I think for us to finish up 00:50:46.211 --> 00:50:49.841 on, that we're not just talking about something we drop our kids off at. 00:50:50.291 --> 00:50:54.971 We're actually talking about ways that we can be genuinely involved in our community 00:50:54.971 --> 00:50:59.471 and community organizations, sports clubs, dance clubs, all sorts of things. 00:50:59.771 --> 00:51:02.831 So this has been a really enriching conversation. 00:51:03.296 --> 00:51:04.706 So thank you to you both. 00:51:04.706 --> 00:51:08.576 Thank you Anthony, for coming and sharing all your secret wisdom that you've 00:51:08.576 --> 00:51:14.066 gained, you and your wife, Michelle, over years, um, of trial and error and being 00:51:14.066 --> 00:51:18.986 intentional and, uh, trying to do all these things in a Christian way without, 00:51:19.086 --> 00:51:19.956 overdoing it. 00:51:20.796 --> 00:51:24.426 So we hope and pray that this has been really helpful for everybody listening, 00:51:25.026 --> 00:51:29.166 and we hope that you'll join us next time for another real conversation 00:51:29.226 --> 00:51:33.306 across the generations exploring God's wisdom for modern families. 00:51:35.827 --> 00:51:39.107 Speaker 4: Timeless Parenting is produced by YouthWorks in Sydney. 00:51:39.527 --> 00:51:44.187 Theme music by Ali McGrath, produced by Ali McGrath and Gerard Masters. 00:51:45.087 --> 00:51:47.717 YouthWorks mission is to see an effective youth and children's 00:51:47.717 --> 00:51:49.337 ministry in every church. 00:51:50.357 --> 00:51:51.727 For more information go to youthworks. 00:51:52.997 --> 00:51:53.147 net