النص الكامل لحلقة S9 EP16: Daisy May Cooper

of the two people 41 00:01:56.859 --> 00:02:00.340 you're listening to comes and stands directly in front of you. 42 00:02:00.819 --> 00:02:02.400 I had that once i was listening to a pod 43 00:02:02.709 --> 00:02:05.310 Comedians Comedian podcast, and it was an Ed Byrne episode. 44 00:02:05.329 --> 00:02:07.290 And Ed Byrne was at the services I stopped at 45 00:02:07.310 --> 00:02:07.969 on the way back from a gig. 46 00:02:07.989 --> 00:02:08.969 That's so weird. 47 00:02:09.090 --> 00:02:11.030 It was so odd. I was like, what are you 48 00:02:11.069 --> 00:02:16.800 doing here? You're in my speakers. Why are you here 49 00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:20.259 now in Costa at 2 a.m.? Josh, how are you? 50 00:02:21.560 --> 00:02:22.580 Can I say something as a friend? 51 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:23.400 Yeah. 52 00:02:23.699 --> 00:02:28.039 And as a colleague, as a peer. I feel like 53 00:02:29.180 --> 00:02:32.689 this house renovation... It's going to be a bit of 54 00:02:32.710 --> 00:02:34.990 a mental challenge for you. I think you might feel 55 00:02:35.009 --> 00:02:37.189 a bit overwhelmed with people being in your space. You 56 00:02:37.210 --> 00:02:38.289 can't do what you want to do. 57 00:02:38.569 --> 00:02:40.969 The people's not, the people's not as much of a 58 00:02:40.990 --> 00:02:41.750 problem as the mess. 59 00:02:41.770 --> 00:02:43.229 The mess. Yes. 60 00:02:43.830 --> 00:02:46.610 I quite, I don't mind people coming in and out. 61 00:02:46.650 --> 00:02:49.590 That's fine. Right. So let me take you through the house. 62 00:02:50.509 --> 00:02:50.610 Okay. 63 00:02:50.629 --> 00:02:51.729 The kitchen's a write-off. 64 00:02:52.430 --> 00:02:52.610 Yeah. 65 00:02:52.650 --> 00:02:53.830 Yeah. 66 00:02:53.889 --> 00:02:55.069 And you're just making it bigger? 67 00:02:56.550 --> 00:02:58.550 No, it's not bigger. It's being redone. We're putting in 68 00:02:58.590 --> 00:02:59.270 an island. 69 00:03:00.050 --> 00:03:00.270 Right. 70 00:03:00.860 --> 00:03:02.319 So the table is going. 71 00:03:02.340 --> 00:03:04.479 No extension as such, just you're redoing the kitchen? 72 00:03:04.500 --> 00:03:08.060 It's being... Why do you need a scaffold? Because we're 73 00:03:08.090 --> 00:03:11.990 getting it knocked down so that it can have glass 74 00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:14.449 going out onto the garden. You know, like glass doors 75 00:03:14.490 --> 00:03:16.770 going out onto the garden. So then the sitting room 76 00:03:17.509 --> 00:03:22.139 is going to have to contain our kitchen stuff. So 77 00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:24.360 we're going to have to cook in the sitting room. Yeah. 78 00:03:24.879 --> 00:03:25.960 So that's going to be tough. 79 00:03:26.419 --> 00:03:28.379 Have you planned any meals for that? Can you do 80 00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:29.080 your porridge in there? 81 00:03:29.620 --> 00:03:30.319 I don't have porridge. 82 00:03:32.150 --> 00:03:34.330 Likely tale. You're not talking to the police, mate. 83 00:03:35.789 --> 00:03:38.370 I think we'll have an air fryer. There's some porridge 84 00:03:38.409 --> 00:03:39.349 oats found at the sea. 85 00:03:39.370 --> 00:03:41.729 You haven't got your air fryer yet either. I don't 86 00:03:41.750 --> 00:03:43.000 think you're prepared for this, Josh. 87 00:03:43.289 --> 00:03:45.379 We're buying a new little fridge because we can't move 88 00:03:45.419 --> 00:03:47.439 our big fridge, but we're getting rid of the big fridge. 89 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:50.020 But it's too big to move into the sitting room, 90 00:03:50.039 --> 00:03:52.360 so we've got to buy a temporary small fridge. 91 00:03:52.620 --> 00:03:53.900 Before you buy your new fridge. 92 00:03:54.000 --> 00:03:57.740 Before we buy a new fridge. If anyone wants to 93 00:03:57.780 --> 00:04:01.219 buy a small fridge in six weeks... I've got one 94 00:04:01.240 --> 00:04:04.979 for sale, but currently I don't even own it. But 95 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:06.889 he will own it and then he will be selling it. 96 00:04:07.159 --> 00:04:10.610 But I will own it. And it'll be secondhand, but barely. 97 00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:12.650 I'm looking forward to your air fryer experience. 98 00:04:13.169 --> 00:04:16.410 Yeah. And then the hallway is obviously covered in those 99 00:04:16.449 --> 00:04:18.410 things that builders put on the walls and floor when 100 00:04:18.430 --> 00:04:19.189 they're going in and out. 101 00:04:19.509 --> 00:04:21.550 Newspapers and fag wrappers. 102 00:04:21.769 --> 00:04:24.860 Yeah. And then my son's room is full of shit. 103 00:04:25.509 --> 00:04:28.279 because we've moved all of the toys upstairs, obviously, because 104 00:04:28.300 --> 00:04:30.860 there was stuff on the storage in the kitchen, which 105 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:35.220 we've got rid of. Yep. Our bedroom, not too bad. 106 00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:36.720 Where are the kids sleeping at the moment? 107 00:04:37.540 --> 00:04:39.079 My son sleeps in his room. 108 00:04:39.860 --> 00:04:40.279 Good work. 109 00:04:40.439 --> 00:04:45.300 But he comes through at any time between 2.30 a.m. 110 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:46.060 and 7 a.m. 111 00:04:46.680 --> 00:04:48.600 And then stays in bed with you for the night? 112 00:04:48.639 --> 00:04:52.019 Yeah, yeah. I'd say average half four. 113 00:04:52.660 --> 00:04:53.360 Lovely little time. 114 00:04:53.639 --> 00:04:54.259 I take that. 115 00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:56.519 Just close enough to maybe keep you up for the 116 00:04:56.540 --> 00:04:56.959 whole morning. 117 00:04:57.560 --> 00:05:01.079 Well, I'm all right with it. Rose woke up this 118 00:05:01.139 --> 00:05:03.649 morning and can get back to sleep. I like 4.30 119 00:05:03.649 --> 00:05:05.170 because you get a bit of that nice time with 120 00:05:05.189 --> 00:05:07.069 your sons in your bed, but actually it doesn't disrupt 121 00:05:07.089 --> 00:05:11.389 your sleep. And then my door and then my office. 122 00:05:11.529 --> 00:05:13.629 You can see how fucked my

office is. Yep. 123 00:05:14.209 --> 00:05:15.769 Henry the Hoover, big bag of tools. 124 00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:18.500 Yeah. And then my daughter's room. 125 00:05:19.139 --> 00:05:21.360 Lamps massive as well you've got there is that gonna 126 00:05:21.399 --> 00:05:24.220 go there or is that nothing's going anywhere how's the 127 00:05:24.259 --> 00:05:27.120 storage unit have you taken photos of that table yet. 128 00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.019 No that's on the list and then my daughter's room's 129 00:05:30.060 --> 00:05:33.620 got hamster on the floor currently stuff everywhere clothes that 130 00:05:33.639 --> 00:05:36.040 need to go in the wardrobes and stuff because she's 131 00:05:36.060 --> 00:05:39.540 got new wardrobing how's the fish tank it's still in 132 00:05:39.639 --> 00:05:41.699 her room it hasn't moved into my room yet. 133 00:05:42.259 --> 00:05:44.759 That's gonna live in your room then the fish tank yeah. 134 00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:47.759 Why Because she hasn't really got room for the hamster 135 00:05:47.779 --> 00:05:49.660 and the fish and my office is next to her. 136 00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:51.839 Was there an argument that she should have just got 137 00:05:51.860 --> 00:05:53.540 a hamster in the first place rather than fish first 138 00:05:53.560 --> 00:05:54.959 because you don't care about the fish anymore? 139 00:05:55.899 --> 00:05:56.879 Yeah, but that was a year ago. 140 00:05:57.810 --> 00:05:59.069 Right. It's a year. 141 00:05:59.490 --> 00:06:01.329 Yeah. That was her previous birthday. 142 00:06:02.110 --> 00:06:02.810 Yeah, of course. 143 00:06:03.350 --> 00:06:03.829 Yeah, yeah. 144 00:06:04.149 --> 00:06:06.389 Bloody hell. And then the spare room at the top, 145 00:06:06.550 --> 00:06:10.399 which is where Rose's mum stays, is a fucking dumping ground. 146 00:06:10.680 --> 00:06:13.600 And you should see the basement. Basically, the whole house... 147 00:06:14.439 --> 00:06:17.680 needs emptying of stuff because by getting rid of the 148 00:06:17.699 --> 00:06:20.420 kitchen it's just kind of you know like pushing it's 149 00:06:20.459 --> 00:06:22.579 pushing stuff up onto a beach do you know what 150 00:06:22.600 --> 00:06:24.360 i mean and then like the tide goes out and 151 00:06:24.420 --> 00:06:27.430 it's all you're a road in your own life yeah 152 00:06:27.569 --> 00:06:30.689 so the next six weeks i'm basically giving all of 153 00:06:30.769 --> 00:06:34.170 my spare time over to doing stuff in the house. 154 00:06:34.970 --> 00:06:35.910 Okay, little odd jobs. 155 00:06:36.129 --> 00:06:39.889 We're just clearing and clearing and stuff. Because we've made 156 00:06:39.930 --> 00:06:43.339 a promise that once it's done, we're doing it as 157 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:45.100 if we've got to rent it out or something. Like 158 00:06:45.139 --> 00:06:46.620 we can't not finish it. 159 00:06:47.240 --> 00:06:47.420 Yeah. 160 00:06:48.339 --> 00:06:52.240 You'll get there, Josh. I trust you. I believe in you. Now, Josh, 161 00:06:52.279 --> 00:06:53.920 today we've got Daisy May Cooper on. 162 00:06:54.060 --> 00:06:54.699 Great episode. 163 00:06:55.019 --> 00:06:58.199 Great episode. Great woman. Great comic. Great writer. Great actor. 164 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:00.939 And she's also got a book out about sort of 165 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:04.310 the paranormal and the afterlife. So I thought it'd be 166 00:07:04.360 --> 00:07:06.279 a good time to tell you my daughters saw a 167 00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:07.399 dead deer on the road. 168 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:08.300 Oh, no. 169 00:07:08.860 --> 00:07:11.279 Been hit by a car. There was two cars there 170 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:12.740 and a dead deer on the floor, and they were 171 00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:14.899 sorting out what to do with it. Because you get 172 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:16.279 that a lot around here. I told you a story 173 00:07:16.300 --> 00:07:18.620 about the one where one got hit and was really 174 00:07:18.660 --> 00:07:20.720 badly hurt. This is a different one. And then they 175 00:07:20.759 --> 00:07:23.759 rung the 101 emergency. So there's a deer that's still 176 00:07:23.860 --> 00:07:26.379 half alive, but basically dying in the middle of like 177 00:07:26.399 --> 00:07:29.259 a dark country lane. It's quite dangerous because a car could... 178 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:31.660 hit it and spin off or whatever. So they sent 179 00:07:31.699 --> 00:07:35.240 the police, but they sent the firearms unit because that's 180 00:07:35.279 --> 00:07:38.750 the best way to humanely help the deer. Anyway, so 181 00:07:38.790 --> 00:07:40.629 as they turn up, the sirens and the noise of 182 00:07:41.189 --> 00:07:45.129 the police... that made the deer scared and then got up, 183 00:07:45.550 --> 00:07:47.649 even though it was injured, it got up and then 184 00:07:47.670 --> 00:07:49.860 run for a bush. So then the police followed it. 185 00:07:49.870 --> 00:07:50.980 Oh my fuck. 186 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:53.899 I went through the bush into a field and there 187 00:07:53.939 --> 00:07:54.620 were 50 deer. 188 00:07:55.300 --> 00:07:56.120 Oh my God. 189 00:07:56.139 --> 00:07:57.480 So then they had no idea which one it was. 190 00:07:58.180 --> 00:07:59.120 Oh my God. 191 00:07:59.139 --> 00:08:00.930 So they left it in the end because obviously it 192 00:08:00.949 --> 00:08:03.990 was well enough to run off. So, um, Anyway, so 193 00:08:04.009 --> 00:08:05.509 they saw a deer because there's so many deer and, 194 00:08:05.810 --> 00:08:07.709 you know, it was fairly close to a lot of 195 00:08:07.750 --> 00:08:08.930 people and a lot of cars. So the deer was 196 00:08:08.949 --> 00:08:11.629 dead on the road and then they were like, oh, no, 197 00:08:12.050 --> 00:08:14.449 the girl saw the dead deer. So I was asking questions, said, 198 00:08:14.490 --> 00:08:17.550 what happened? Like, oh, so the deer's died. And they 199 00:08:17.569 --> 00:08:19.110 were like, but I

was like, oh, how were they 200 00:08:19.129 --> 00:08:20.209 about it? I was like, they were fine. I was 201 00:08:20.230 --> 00:08:21.329 a bit sad, but they were fine. They were more 202 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:25.240 interested about what happens to dead bodies. Because like, oh, 203 00:08:25.259 --> 00:08:26.180 what do you do? And then it was like, well, 204 00:08:26.459 --> 00:08:29.379 normally they get buried or you can be cremated, which 205 00:08:29.420 --> 00:08:32.309 means burnt. And then you go into... like an urn 206 00:08:32.350 --> 00:08:34.340 and your ashes. And then some people keep that in 207 00:08:34.379 --> 00:08:37.120 someone's house or you can bury the ashes or you 208 00:08:37.139 --> 00:08:39.580 can spread the ashes somewhere that you love and somewhere 209 00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:42.360 that's special to you. And then my youngest said that 210 00:08:42.399 --> 00:08:44.759 she wants to be created and she wants. 211 00:08:44.779 --> 00:08:47.419 Shall I have a guess? Disney World. Yes. 212 00:08:47.950 --> 00:08:49.990 She wants to be created and she wants her friend 213 00:08:50.210 --> 00:08:53.610 to spread her ashes while she rides the Tron ride. 214 00:08:56.110 --> 00:08:58.509 I don't think the mouse would allow it. I just went, yeah, okay, 215 00:08:58.529 --> 00:09:03.309 we'll sort that out. Here's Daisy May Cooper. Daisy May Cooper, 216 00:09:03.370 --> 00:09:06.250 welcome back to Pears and Pale. 217 00:09:06.289 --> 00:09:07.129 Hello, my darling. 218 00:09:07.169 --> 00:09:09.200 Daisy, we are so happy to have you back. 219 00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:09.500 Yeah. 220 00:09:09.750 --> 00:09:12.320 One of the most popular episodes we've ever done. People 221 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:14.679 still talk to you about a flag in a shit 222 00:09:15.080 --> 00:09:16.740 when you told us that story. 223 00:09:16.820 --> 00:09:20.000 It's gotten worse, I tell you. It's gotten far worse. 224 00:09:20.740 --> 00:09:24.600 So, Daisy, since we last spoke, you've got three children now. 225 00:09:24.620 --> 00:09:27.919 You've got a newborn. Yes, yes. Four months? 226 00:09:28.179 --> 00:09:29.659 Four months, yeah. Four months old. 227 00:09:29.679 --> 00:09:31.200 So you've got four months old. And how old are 228 00:09:31.220 --> 00:09:31.679 the other two? 229 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:35.620 Uh oh christ six and four. 230 00:09:35.659 --> 00:09:39.580 Wow okay so busy how's it how's it. 231 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:43.779 Going my partner actually he's got two from his previous 232 00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:46.590 relationship so together we've got five. 233 00:09:46.690 --> 00:09:49.409 Right wow yes yes i think when we spoke to 234 00:09:49.429 --> 00:09:51.549 you last it was you had two children and now 235 00:09:51.629 --> 00:09:53.350 you've you've got a new relationship so you've got your 236 00:09:53.370 --> 00:09:55.990 step step children or his children however i don't know 237 00:09:56.009 --> 00:09:59.240 what the terminology is. And now a newborn that's four 238 00:09:59.279 --> 00:10:02.340 months old. So you are, when it comes to parenting, 239 00:10:02.519 --> 00:10:04.659 I'd say that is a full house. 240 00:10:05.200 --> 00:10:06.019 Oh, completely. 241 00:10:06.120 --> 00:10:08.419 And we made the big mistake of saying, do you 242 00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:10.759 know what? There was a caravan for like three grand. 243 00:10:11.500 --> 00:10:12.820 And we thought, oh, we'll take them on. 244 00:10:12.750 --> 00:10:14.629 A fucking caravan holiday. 245 00:10:15.220 --> 00:10:20.000 And it was an absolute disaster because we didn't put 246 00:10:20.929 --> 00:10:22.970 the legs down on it. 247 00:10:23.450 --> 00:10:25.190 And there was only one iPad. 248 00:10:25.370 --> 00:10:27.470 And there was a certain place in the back of 249 00:10:27.529 --> 00:10:32.159 the caravan that you could get 4G. So all five 250 00:10:32.200 --> 00:10:35.240 of them piled down, well, four of them piled down 251 00:10:35.259 --> 00:10:39.519 to the end. 252 00:10:39.580 --> 00:10:40.899 So was it your caravan? 253 00:10:41.429 --> 00:10:44.820 Yeah, I bought a caravan for like, it's like from 2002. 254 00:10:44.820 --> 00:10:45.090 And I've. 255 00:10:46.659 --> 00:10:49.460 Just, I've been watching, you know, those YouTube videos of 256 00:10:49.539 --> 00:10:52.879 like families that go out and, you know, the whole 257 00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:55.090 rural thing. And I thought, oh, this would be great. 258 00:10:55.850 --> 00:10:58.490 But to be honest, it was all about buying the bits, 259 00:10:59.049 --> 00:11:01.549 you know, like the Stacey's problem bits, but like the 260 00:11:01.669 --> 00:11:02.409 plates and. 261 00:11:02.370 --> 00:11:05.690 The cutlery and the. Oh, it was a fucking, it 262 00:11:05.730 --> 00:11:08.389 was an absolute fucking nightmare. 263 00:11:08.409 --> 00:11:09.899 How long did you go for? 264 00:11:09.909 --> 00:11:12.090 If you only went on one trip and the caravan 265 00:11:12.129 --> 00:11:15.629 is still sat on the fucking gravel and it's not moved. 266 00:11:16.379 --> 00:11:17.240 Horrendous. 267 00:11:17.340 --> 00:11:18.399 Horrendous. 268 00:11:18.419 --> 00:11:20.210 They hated it. They hated it. 269 00:11:20.320 --> 00:11:22.299 Would you sell the caravan now if any of our 270 00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:23.700 listeners are looking to buy a caravan? 271 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:26.740 Oh, please do. But I think I've left some. 272 00:11:26.610 --> 00:11:27.669 Milk in there that I. 273 00:11:27.669 --> 00:11:35.879 LAUGHTER Oh, my God. So was that before the baby? 274 00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:39.779 That was before the baby, yeah. And it was just, 275 00:11:39.899 --> 00:11:42.340 the problem was that we took them away. And all 276 00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:44.639 they want to do is watch fucking YouTube. 277 00:11:44.740 --> 00:11:47.440 That's it. Like, they can get whatever they want. They've 278 00:11:47.460 --> 00:11:51.610 all got

specific things. Like, my son's really into, like, 279 00:11:51.870 --> 00:11:55.210 things being run over by cars. Do you get what 280 00:11:55.230 --> 00:11:56.129 I mean? Like a coat. 281 00:11:56.250 --> 00:11:57.960 All right, yeah, yeah. 282 00:11:58.139 --> 00:12:01.799 I think YouTube kids is actually quite badly designed because 283 00:12:01.820 --> 00:12:05.059 what they do is, rather than keeping the kids away 284 00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:07.740 from the sort of horrible algorithm stuff where they basically 285 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:09.659 go into your mind and go, this will keep you watching, 286 00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:11.679 you'll get addicted to this. It's sort of that, but 287 00:12:11.700 --> 00:12:13.440 they do that, but a child, it's almost like, and 288 00:12:13.879 --> 00:12:15.379 what I feel like is happening is there's a mad 289 00:12:15.620 --> 00:12:19.019 YouTube genius with young children that then goes, right, child, 290 00:12:19.330 --> 00:12:21.669 do this content because those are people liking it. It'll 291 00:12:21.690 --> 00:12:24.769 be like a cute little eight-year-old girl going, so today 292 00:12:24.809 --> 00:12:27.450 we're going to talk about what happens when you die. 293 00:12:27.629 --> 00:12:29.429 And I was like, what the fuck are you watching? 294 00:12:29.490 --> 00:12:31.950 I was like, what? I was like, I think you 295 00:12:31.990 --> 00:12:34.750 go to heaven. I think, and it's all like stuff that, 296 00:12:34.889 --> 00:12:37.429 like quite adult themes, but because it's a child doing it, 297 00:12:37.769 --> 00:12:40.289 it slips through the net of child kids, YouTube kids 298 00:12:40.330 --> 00:12:40.830 or whatever it is. 299 00:12:40.970 --> 00:12:41.690 It's insane. 300 00:12:41.850 --> 00:12:44.460 I left my son, I was trying to cook a roast, 301 00:12:44.500 --> 00:12:48.220 left my son watching YouTube. And when I came back, 302 00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:52.019 the algorithm had taken him to a video where it 303 00:12:52.059 --> 00:12:58.490 was like a monk talking about how celibacy had made 304 00:12:58.509 --> 00:12:59.289 him more spiritual. 305 00:12:59.909 --> 00:13:00.409 Wow. 306 00:13:00.629 --> 00:13:02.029 Watching it internally. 307 00:13:03.929 --> 00:13:07.169 It's also, it just gets them used to the infinite algorithm. 308 00:13:07.750 --> 00:13:12.129 At least with like, TV or a film, there's an 309 00:13:12.470 --> 00:13:16.789 actual stop. It's just endless. It teaches them that endless 310 00:13:16.840 --> 00:13:19.240 scroll is the way to live. So I would rather 311 00:13:19.279 --> 00:13:21.399 them get really into online gaming. 312 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:24.059 I don't know if your kids... So my daughter plays Roblox, 313 00:13:24.519 --> 00:13:28.029 but she uses our iPad and she FaceTimes her friend... 314 00:13:28.230 --> 00:13:30.700 from school or another mate. And then she has, um, 315 00:13:31.179 --> 00:13:34.340 the friend on, on FaceTime essentially with, and then has 316 00:13:34.379 --> 00:13:36.399 her Roblox up and they go, all right, go to 317 00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:39.830 this bit of Roblox. So that is that Roblox is 318 00:13:39.870 --> 00:13:44.710 just like, like you're a block. Yeah. So you can 319 00:13:44.769 --> 00:13:47.230 go to different people, go on it and build worlds 320 00:13:47.269 --> 00:13:49.450 for you to wander and explore. Um, So they'll be like, oh, 321 00:13:49.470 --> 00:13:51.740 let's go to Paris. There's a little fake Paris and 322 00:13:51.960 --> 00:13:53.759 they wander around and then they get in a car 323 00:13:53.779 --> 00:13:56.679 and they drive around. So they're on a screen as such, 324 00:13:57.019 --> 00:13:59.340 but they are playing a game. It's not much difference 325 00:13:59.379 --> 00:14:03.000 than playing with Barbies or Lego because it's just in 326 00:14:03.039 --> 00:14:06.740 a digital world and they're chatting and being social. So 327 00:14:06.759 --> 00:14:08.980 that I don't mind as much. But on their own, 328 00:14:09.019 --> 00:14:12.539 just with YouTube kids, it's horrible. It's like, you know. 329 00:14:12.580 --> 00:14:15.480 My son got really into, you know, Cocomelon. 330 00:14:17.299 --> 00:14:20.899 And there's no fucking, there's not like an Aesop's fable 331 00:14:20.940 --> 00:14:21.259 in there. 332 00:14:21.279 --> 00:14:25.299 There's no learning. It's just one of the kids is 333 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:27.019 just a bit of a. 334 00:14:26.899 --> 00:14:26.929 F * * *. 335 00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:30.320 And instead of going, eat your peas. And he's just going, no, 336 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:33.320 I'm not going to do it. And there's like, there's 337 00:14:33.360 --> 00:14:34.519 no teaching in this. 338 00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:35.480 No, no. 339 00:14:35.559 --> 00:14:36.759 That I can't fucking stand. 340 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:41.570 And like you said, the fucking families, because my daughter 341 00:14:41.830 --> 00:14:42.769 idolizes them. 342 00:14:42.789 --> 00:14:45.250 I think it's Vlad and Nikki as well. She's really 343 00:14:45.309 --> 00:14:45.529 into it. 344 00:14:46.100 --> 00:14:50.080 And they live in like these pristine fucking mansions with 345 00:14:50.120 --> 00:14:51.980 like marble countertops. 346 00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:55.399 And the parents get involved and it's all about. 347 00:14:56.379 --> 00:14:57.720 Oh God, they look like. 348 00:14:57.600 --> 00:15:01.830 Mental, these kids. And they're just... And I'm like, you know, 349 00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:04.610 these kids are not enjoying themselves. 350 00:15:04.649 --> 00:15:07.629 They've got 124 million subscribers. 351 00:15:07.870 --> 00:15:10.049 The amount of content they put out. They must be 352 00:15:10.110 --> 00:15:15.720 filming stuff every fucking day. And it's hard to grasp that. 353 00:15:15.820 --> 00:15:19.340 It's like, oh, somebody gets, you know, opens a box 354 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:21.360 with slime and then the

slime. 355 00:15:21.419 --> 00:15:23.240 It's all mad. 356 00:15:23.620 --> 00:15:27.850 I don't understand it, but my daughter is absolutely so 357 00:15:27.950 --> 00:15:29.110 envious of these kids. 358 00:15:29.610 --> 00:15:32.710 And I'm like, they're going to be releasing their memoirs, 359 00:15:32.850 --> 00:15:36.049 you know, in the future and Netflix special on. 360 00:15:36.970 --> 00:15:39.830 They're making the most money per video ever. Of any 361 00:15:39.870 --> 00:15:44.889 YouTubers in 2019, they're making £ 312, 000 a video. 362 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:48.779 Yeah. Because children watch it in an unhinged way. They'll 363 00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:51.120 watch it again and again, won't they, Kit? And it's 364 00:15:51.179 --> 00:15:53.809 all like... That's fucking mad. And it's all toys, so 365 00:15:53.830 --> 00:15:56.690 just toys, advertising. I do think it's a sticky world 366 00:15:56.730 --> 00:15:59.149 that where you're like, look, me and Josh talk about 367 00:15:59.190 --> 00:16:01.149 our kids every week. So we're not like, we don't 368 00:16:01.169 --> 00:16:05.190 have throw stones, glasshouse throw stones. But it's like that 369 00:16:05.210 --> 00:16:07.120 actually getting in front of camera and then be, and 370 00:16:07.129 --> 00:16:09.240 that you just filming them doing stuff does, I think 371 00:16:09.269 --> 00:16:10.669 it's too much sometimes, isn't it? 372 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:12.059 Oh my God. 373 00:16:12.100 --> 00:16:15.720 But it's, I can't, I tell you what else as well. 374 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:19.820 It's that, I don't, the same sound effects are fucking 375 00:16:20.240 --> 00:16:23.120 used for everything in these types of videos, right? 376 00:16:23.340 --> 00:16:23.480 Mm-hmm. 377 00:16:23.850 --> 00:16:27.690 So it's like, you know, that easy and all that 378 00:16:27.769 --> 00:16:28.490 kind of stuff. 379 00:16:28.610 --> 00:16:30.529 I fucking, where is that? 380 00:16:30.610 --> 00:16:31.740 And oh no. 381 00:16:31.889 --> 00:16:34.179 And it's like, it's just the same thing. 382 00:16:34.299 --> 00:16:34.580 Yeah. 383 00:16:38.350 --> 00:16:41.309 So what are their rules with iPads? How long are 384 00:16:41.330 --> 00:16:44.049 they allowed? Are they allowed the kids' YouTube? 385 00:16:44.350 --> 00:16:45.570 I'm awful. I'm awful. 386 00:16:45.789 --> 00:16:49.090 I do try and get them to go, right, fucking 387 00:16:49.230 --> 00:16:49.929 sit down here. 388 00:16:49.950 --> 00:16:51.070 We're all going to play buckaroo. 389 00:16:51.529 --> 00:16:55.149 And they'll leave in just about two seconds. 390 00:16:55.309 --> 00:16:58.710 And then I go, oh, fuck it. The problem is, it's. 391 00:16:58.629 --> 00:17:02.110 Like, is it worth the fight? 392 00:17:02.389 --> 00:17:05.539 And sometimes I just give in and I shouldn't give in. 393 00:17:06.170 --> 00:17:07.750 But I just go, fuck, just have it. 394 00:17:08.170 --> 00:17:12.079 I mean, like, there's, I mean, obviously, we'll take it 395 00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:15.180 away from them for bedtime and for bath time. But 396 00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:18.220 that's a whole fucking, I'm getting bullied by my kids. 397 00:17:18.380 --> 00:17:20.079 Yeah. Really badly. 398 00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:22.480 That's all right. That's what being a parent is, is 399 00:17:22.529 --> 00:17:25.930 getting bullied by your kids. I hope. Otherwise, I'm doing 400 00:17:25.970 --> 00:17:26.369 it wrong. 401 00:17:26.509 --> 00:17:28.549 They do gaslight your kids. They do. 402 00:17:28.670 --> 00:17:30.710 What do they do? Give me some examples. 403 00:17:30.730 --> 00:17:33.980 Oh, fucking, like, they do this fake crying thing. 404 00:17:34.299 --> 00:17:35.420 Oh, yeah. 405 00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:36.539 Stamping their feet. 406 00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:37.700 Yeah. 407 00:17:37.740 --> 00:17:41.819 Fake crying. There's an awful thing, like, with bath times. 408 00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:43.660 I will go out of the room to get a 409 00:17:43.779 --> 00:17:46.920 fucking flannel or whatever, and then I come in and 410 00:17:46.940 --> 00:17:49.720 they're gone, and they're both naked and they're both wet. 411 00:17:50.059 --> 00:17:53.380 They're fucking running in different directions, like, you know, the 412 00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:56.500 flying monkeys out of Wizard of Oz. 413 00:17:56.519 --> 00:18:00.259 They're like those horrible kind of demonic... Naked imps. 414 00:18:00.460 --> 00:18:03.400 And it is trying to get them back into the bath, 415 00:18:03.779 --> 00:18:06.480 trying to wash their hair. I'm getting like whipped with 416 00:18:06.519 --> 00:18:12.119 fucking towels. Like the conditioner's all emptied out in there. 417 00:18:12.380 --> 00:18:14.500 It's fucking chaos. 418 00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:16.039 It's absolute chaos. 419 00:18:16.099 --> 00:18:18.119 The foot stamping. My daughter started to stamp her foot. 420 00:18:18.140 --> 00:18:20.710 I don't know where she's... I've not stamped my foot. 421 00:18:20.750 --> 00:18:22.970 Where's she seeing this? Where's she getting foot stamping from? 422 00:18:22.990 --> 00:18:25.529 It's such an old school way of being angry with someone. Yeah, 423 00:18:25.609 --> 00:18:26.549 it's really cartoony, isn't it? 424 00:18:26.609 --> 00:18:27.210 I don't know. 425 00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:35.109 Josh, just stamp them. No one stamps their feet. It's 426 00:18:35.130 --> 00:18:42.700 like going.... 427 00:18:39.369 --> 00:18:42.930 My daughter's very different to me in the respect of, like, 428 00:18:43.549 --> 00:18:46.329 I wouldn't have hung around with her at school. Like, 429 00:18:46.380 --> 00:18:48.420 she's not my sort of type of friend. 430 00:18:48.819 --> 00:18:49.279 Really? 431 00:18:49.640 --> 00:18:52.440 I'm very like my son, and my son can be, 432 00:18:52.779 --> 00:18:56.259 you know, when he plays with stuff, he uses his 433 00:18:56.339 --> 00:19:00.910 imagination and he's sort of... He's willing to collaborate during

434 00:19:00.950 --> 00:19:04.259 role plays where my daughter absolutely fucking won't. And it's 435 00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:08.559 her being the teacher, me having to sit down basically 436 00:19:08.579 --> 00:19:11.220 for about two hours and just get bollocks. 437 00:19:10.900 --> 00:19:14.700 For two hours. Nodes of written work. And it is 438 00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:17.839 so fucking boring. It's killing me. 439 00:19:18.119 --> 00:19:20.079 And there's nothing I can do to sort of make 440 00:19:20.140 --> 00:19:22.539 it fun. I just got to sit and do fucking sums. 441 00:19:23.039 --> 00:19:25.720 What about weekend? Does she go to any clubs and 442 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:28.660 stuff like that? Do you do clubs with her? 443 00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:31.470 I tried to get her into stagecoach because she might 444 00:19:31.509 --> 00:19:32.089 be like me. 445 00:19:32.130 --> 00:19:32.990 She just wasn't interested. 446 00:19:33.009 --> 00:19:35.670 She just wants to play fuck in schools where she's 447 00:19:35.950 --> 00:19:41.009 fucking horrible, like tyrannical teacher. 448 00:19:41.369 --> 00:19:44.210 Just bullies the fuck out of me and my son. 449 00:19:44.349 --> 00:19:48.650 But sometimes my son is like the supply teacher who 450 00:19:48.710 --> 00:19:51.950 comes in and asks, for help he's called Mr. Gruffalo 451 00:19:51.970 --> 00:19:56.630 he'll ask for help because he's like oh you know 452 00:19:56.670 --> 00:19:59.339 my classroom they're all throwing tomatoes at each other so 453 00:19:59.380 --> 00:20:02.039 then she'll go and help his classroom his classroom is 454 00:20:02.099 --> 00:20:07.000 basically like some Spiderman action figures with a couple of 455 00:20:07.019 --> 00:20:07.759 you know. 456 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:13.099 Teddy bears laughing Her class has to be real fucking people, 457 00:20:13.420 --> 00:20:15.539 which is just me. And I have to sit and 458 00:20:15.579 --> 00:20:17.000 do it because I think... So she makes. 459 00:20:16.900 --> 00:20:18.220 You do actual schoolwork? 460 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.420 Yeah. Oh, fuck yes. 461 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:24.450 I'll have to teach her teaching about, like... The problem is, like, 462 00:20:24.490 --> 00:20:29.140 lots of people say, you know, your kid's... The very 463 00:20:29.220 --> 00:20:32.839 boring thing about kids is that they get excited telling 464 00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:35.630 you stuff that you already know. But actually, there's a 465 00:20:35.630 --> 00:20:39.710 lot I don't fucking know. She fucking bums maths. She 466 00:20:39.750 --> 00:20:41.170 bums stuff about space. 467 00:20:41.670 --> 00:20:42.910 I didn't know fucking. 468 00:20:42.609 --> 00:20:45.410 Pluto wasn't a fucking planet since when did that change? 469 00:20:45.430 --> 00:20:48.119 That was about a decade ago, wasn't it? I remember 470 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:48.440 that happening. 471 00:20:48.460 --> 00:20:49.619 What was it before Pluto? 472 00:20:50.019 --> 00:20:52.230 It was a planet. And now it's not. 473 00:20:52.250 --> 00:20:54.500 It's not a planet. It's like a. 474 00:20:54.839 --> 00:20:56.640 What is it, a gas? It can't be just a gas. 475 00:20:56.700 --> 00:20:57.859 What the fuck am I talking about? 476 00:20:57.880 --> 00:20:59.079 So Pluto's not a planet? 477 00:20:59.380 --> 00:20:59.559 No. 478 00:20:59.579 --> 00:21:01.140 I think it's just a planet. 479 00:21:01.220 --> 00:21:02.319 You can tell me he's not a dog. 480 00:21:02.220 --> 00:21:06.440 In a minute as well. Pluto. What is it? I 481 00:21:06.500 --> 00:21:09.640 don't know. What's the thing? Why is it brought up 482 00:21:09.660 --> 00:21:13.400 Pluto TV? What even is Pluto TV? It's a dwarf planet. 483 00:21:13.769 --> 00:21:16.470 Another thing that she does, which is really horrible, she 484 00:21:16.509 --> 00:21:17.869 has this, like, shopping. 485 00:21:19.009 --> 00:21:20.369 you know, this shopping. 486 00:21:19.990 --> 00:21:23.230 Kind of role play set with a scanner on it, right? 487 00:21:23.730 --> 00:21:26.549 And she'll come up to me during intervals of the 488 00:21:26.609 --> 00:21:29.509 lesson and scan me to see if I'm thinking bad 489 00:21:29.630 --> 00:21:30.630 thoughts about. 490 00:21:35.890 --> 00:21:41.049 It. It's like a kind of futuristic kind of... Like 491 00:21:41.089 --> 00:21:43.450 an apocalyptic future. 492 00:21:43.809 --> 00:21:46.549 Like a psychologist from the future that just goes over 493 00:21:46.569 --> 00:21:49.329 your head and goes, OK, you've got issues from your 494 00:21:49.349 --> 00:21:52.849 school days. Adam Rowell, your dad, quite a young age. 495 00:21:53.869 --> 00:21:55.599 You hate buttons because someone threw a button at your 496 00:21:55.650 --> 00:21:58.400 eye when you were six. This is what you need 497 00:21:58.420 --> 00:22:02.309 for that. Do all those things apply to you, Rob? No, 498 00:22:02.710 --> 00:22:04.190 it's very difficult now because I was trying to think 499 00:22:04.250 --> 00:22:05.809 of ones that wouldn't apply to any of us without 500 00:22:05.869 --> 00:22:08.710 feeling pointed. 501 00:22:09.170 --> 00:22:12.210 Did you think, the thing is that I would love 502 00:22:12.230 --> 00:22:15.950 your advice on it because if this was a fucking relationship, 503 00:22:15.990 --> 00:22:18.349 you'd say this was, you know, coercive control. 504 00:22:18.849 --> 00:22:21.529 Yeah, but then my advice would be leave her. But 505 00:22:21.549 --> 00:22:25.519 I don't think my advice... He fucking follows me around. 506 00:22:25.619 --> 00:22:28.140 He follows me around with a fucking clipboard and the 507 00:22:28.180 --> 00:22:29.039 fucking scanner. 508 00:22:29.420 --> 00:22:29.559 She. 509 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:33.940 Loves rules, regulations, which obviously everything I'm fucking not. 510 00:22:34.539 --> 00:22:36.190 So anything with rules in it. 511 00:22:36.200 --> 00:22:39.130 I mean, I have to do stuff with silent reading 512

00:22:39.450 --> 00:22:42.750 where I'll have to read like George's Marvelous Medicine in 513 00:22:42.849 --> 00:22:45.640 fucking silence while she fucking has a timer on. 514 00:22:46.539 --> 00:22:47.799 She puts the Alexa on. 515 00:22:48.119 --> 00:22:48.980 Yeah. 516 00:22:49.319 --> 00:22:51.180 And I've got to sit and read it while she 517 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:51.849 watches me. 518 00:22:52.990 --> 00:22:54.430 That is mental. 519 00:22:54.789 --> 00:22:57.210 Are you reading it at that point? Well, I have 520 00:22:57.250 --> 00:22:57.950 to because. 521 00:22:57.750 --> 00:23:00.470 She fucking questions me on it. 522 00:23:03.519 --> 00:23:06.140 But I suppose it's like being away. You feel so, 523 00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:08.720 when you're working, you feel so much fucking guilt. 524 00:23:09.160 --> 00:23:10.640 And how long are you reading it for? 525 00:23:11.549 --> 00:23:14.529 Ten minutes, as long as the Alexa will be on. 526 00:23:14.549 --> 00:23:18.710 Ten minutes? What's she doing for the ten minutes? Just watching? 527 00:23:19.289 --> 00:23:27.109 She'll be marking my previous work. 528 00:23:27.690 --> 00:23:31.109 What's her teacher like? Is this what her teacher's like? 529 00:23:31.650 --> 00:23:33.130 No, I don't think so. 530 00:23:33.259 --> 00:23:35.519 I've said to her on a couple of occasions, as 531 00:23:35.559 --> 00:23:38.539 so has my mum, who gets roped. 532 00:23:38.339 --> 00:23:42.359 Into it as well. Like, is there any way... this your. 533 00:23:42.180 --> 00:23:44.980 Teacher that you play in this thing can be nice 534 00:23:45.039 --> 00:23:49.269 and she's like absolutely not no very sweet. 535 00:23:49.190 --> 00:23:51.589 So she plays a nasty teacher. 536 00:23:51.269 --> 00:23:53.750 Yeah like a mrs trunchbull. 537 00:23:53.269 --> 00:23:54.970 So sit down and read your book like that so 538 00:23:55.009 --> 00:23:57.029 it's not like a bit like a weird kind of 539 00:23:57.089 --> 00:24:00.730 dominatrix role play so she loves all these rules so 540 00:24:00.769 --> 00:24:02.559 how when you're out and about if you're being because 541 00:24:02.619 --> 00:24:04.339 i've worked with you before daisy and i'd like to 542 00:24:04.359 --> 00:24:06.119 say i don't think you're a massive fan of rules 543 00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:10.500 and regs We did that thing recently where the Amazon 544 00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:12.619 Prime thing where we weren't allowed to laugh, which you 545 00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:15.950 were hilarious on and nearly killed me. It was such 546 00:24:15.970 --> 00:24:19.430 a funny date. But obviously, you like a vape now 547 00:24:19.450 --> 00:24:21.490 and again. I think that's fair to say. And you 548 00:24:21.509 --> 00:24:23.650 weren't allowed to vape on screen. So you were sort 549 00:24:23.710 --> 00:24:26.180 of secretly having a little go on the vape. And 550 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:27.859 they were saying, because it's like a big bit of 551 00:24:27.900 --> 00:24:29.660 a big brother house. I was like, Daisy, can you 552 00:24:29.720 --> 00:24:32.420 stop vaping like that? And then at one point you 553 00:24:32.460 --> 00:24:36.059 were secretly vaping and then you nearly laughed because you're 554 00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:37.740 not allowed to laugh. And you turned around and they 555 00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:39.420 was like, can you stop vaping? And you shut the 556 00:24:39.509 --> 00:24:41.710 fridge and turned around. He went, I'm not vaping. And 557 00:24:41.750 --> 00:24:44.470 as you did that, this vape steam came out of 558 00:24:44.490 --> 00:24:45.970 your nose like a dragon. 559 00:24:46.630 --> 00:24:47.230 I like that. 560 00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:47.950 Nearly killed. 561 00:24:48.029 --> 00:24:49.109 I wasn't allowed to laugh. 562 00:24:49.529 --> 00:24:51.309 And I was like that. God. 563 00:24:51.349 --> 00:24:53.430 So when you're out and about. 564 00:24:53.750 --> 00:24:58.099 It's like she is, I suppose, she's my biggest lesson. 565 00:24:58.259 --> 00:25:01.599 She is my absolute lesson. I'm meant to learn something here. 566 00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:02.599 I've learned this. 567 00:25:02.619 --> 00:25:05.119 Well, do you think, I don't know, how old is 568 00:25:05.140 --> 00:25:05.660 she exactly? 569 00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:10.039 She's six, but she's, I mean, going on sort of 45. 570 00:25:10.039 --> 00:25:13.619 Like, do you think it's, can a six-year-old already, can 571 00:25:13.660 --> 00:25:15.579 it be like, I want to be the opposite? You 572 00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.960 know how kids, when they're older, are like, I want 573 00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:20.259 to be the opposite of my parents. Do you think 574 00:25:20.299 --> 00:25:21.210 it already is that? 575 00:25:21.230 --> 00:25:24.190 Yes, I think it's definitely that. Definitely that. 576 00:25:24.309 --> 00:25:26.859 And I think, I don't know whether it's a thing, 577 00:25:27.200 --> 00:25:29.779 whether they have to, like she's so good at school 578 00:25:30.039 --> 00:25:32.970 and I wonder whether it's like where they just have to, 579 00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:36.039 Because they feel like they've been controlled all day. 580 00:25:36.160 --> 00:25:40.319 They've got to control someone else. I don't quite know 581 00:25:40.380 --> 00:25:40.960 what it is. 582 00:25:40.980 --> 00:25:43.109 Does she do it with her dad as well? Does 583 00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:44.970 she make her dad sit down and do it as well? 584 00:25:45.069 --> 00:25:46.289 Or is it more you and her? 585 00:25:46.329 --> 00:25:46.750 Oh, yeah. 586 00:25:46.890 --> 00:25:48.589 Yeah, I get phone calls from him. 587 00:25:48.670 --> 00:25:52.529 And, you know, it's like we're going through, like, some 588 00:25:52.589 --> 00:25:55.970 sort of survival programme. 589 00:25:56.450 --> 00:25:58.619 Because we're the only... You know, he gets it. 590 00:25:58.630 --> 00:26:01.779 And he's just like... But I think he's firmer than 591 00:26:01.940 -->

00:26:02.240 I am. 592 00:26:02.259 --> 00:26:02.319 Mm. 593 00:26:03.319 --> 00:26:04.119 I like to be. 594 00:26:04.380 --> 00:26:06.619 I'm so desperate to be liked by my kids, which 595 00:26:06.680 --> 00:26:09.720 is the wrong thing to do, that I will sit 596 00:26:09.779 --> 00:26:12.220 there and fucking take. 597 00:26:13.500 --> 00:26:16.680 It. Yeah, it's just... It's gotten completely out of hand, 598 00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:17.440 and I'm thinking. 599 00:26:17.460 --> 00:26:20.289 I just worry that she's going to grow up to, 600 00:26:20.549 --> 00:26:24.430 you know, want to start some sort of dictatorship or cult. 601 00:26:25.049 --> 00:26:25.309 Yeah. 602 00:26:26.109 --> 00:26:28.150 You can't do anything about that, though, can you? It's 603 00:26:28.230 --> 00:26:28.710 too late. 604 00:26:29.670 --> 00:26:30.519 I don't know. I.... 605 00:26:32.259 --> 00:26:35.680 I was so desperate for her to be interested in 606 00:26:35.740 --> 00:26:39.079 Slovenian families and she said no. 607 00:26:39.200 --> 00:26:40.359 I bought everything. 608 00:26:40.380 --> 00:26:43.440 I must have spent a grand on Christmas just getting 609 00:26:43.619 --> 00:26:44.160 a holding. 610 00:26:44.180 --> 00:26:46.359 I thought we could fucking set the fucking town up. 611 00:26:46.740 --> 00:26:46.960 Yeah. 612 00:26:47.309 --> 00:26:50.569 And she was vaguely interested in it for a little while. 613 00:26:50.589 --> 00:26:52.069 What's she like at school? Is she like that at 614 00:26:52.089 --> 00:26:53.349 school or does she sort of listen or does she 615 00:26:53.369 --> 00:26:54.490 want to be in charge at school? 616 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:56.349 Oh, she wants to be in charge at school. 617 00:26:56.470 --> 00:26:59.069 I hear she's got fucking shit loads of falling out 618 00:26:59.130 --> 00:27:03.140 so for like rubbers and people borrowing rubbers it's like 619 00:27:03.279 --> 00:27:04.720 the big fucking. 620 00:27:04.380 --> 00:27:08.500 All right equipment and stuff like my daughter's oh she 621 00:27:08.539 --> 00:27:11.400 just turned seven and there is a lot of inner 622 00:27:11.460 --> 00:27:14.980 friendship group you can see that there's a lot of 623 00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:17.660 wrestling for control of the group do you know what 624 00:27:17.680 --> 00:27:21.960 i mean it's constant falling out like there's a kind 625 00:27:22.000 --> 00:27:24.579 of there's a few of them so it's not like 626 00:27:24.640 --> 00:27:28.269 so there's always like always ebbing and flowing. And do 627 00:27:28.289 --> 00:27:29.869 you know what I mean? And I wonder whether that's 628 00:27:29.910 --> 00:27:33.130 just an age thing or just a feeling of establishing 629 00:27:33.309 --> 00:27:35.349 what you can and can't control and how you relate 630 00:27:35.369 --> 00:27:36.369 to other people and stuff. 631 00:27:36.990 --> 00:27:39.849 Why is that with girls though? Cause it's exactly the 632 00:27:39.930 --> 00:27:40.910 same at my time. 633 00:27:40.990 --> 00:27:44.099 I don't know, but it really feels like, yeah, it 634 00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:47.299 really feels like it's all the boys don't seem to 635 00:27:47.700 --> 00:27:51.180 give a shit about that kind of thing. But like 636 00:27:51.259 --> 00:27:54.240 my wife was saying, that's what her child, like what 637 00:27:54.279 --> 00:27:56.710 she was like at that age. And, It seems to 638 00:27:56.730 --> 00:27:58.650 happen a lot. Is that the same with your daughters, Rob? 639 00:27:58.650 --> 00:28:02.049 100%, yeah. And I think as well, Lou as well. 640 00:28:02.069 --> 00:28:05.279 I don't think Lou had... Lou finds it quite stressful 641 00:28:05.299 --> 00:28:08.000 as well because it reminds her of her school where 642 00:28:08.059 --> 00:28:09.910 it was... a lot of arguments and a little bit 643 00:28:09.930 --> 00:28:12.259 he says, she says kind of stuff. So she's a 644 00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:14.240 bit more aware of it. We're like, she's like, well, 645 00:28:14.259 --> 00:28:15.740 I just want them to have like strong friendship groups 646 00:28:15.779 --> 00:28:17.420 at school. And I've never even thought about it. I'll 647 00:28:17.440 --> 00:28:19.259 just be like, well, they'll just have mates that they 648 00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:20.779 get on with and people they probably don't get on with. 649 00:28:21.200 --> 00:28:22.880 And it will work itself out because that was my 650 00:28:22.920 --> 00:28:24.920 experience of school. But I think it is totally different 651 00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:27.380 for girls at school than boys. But I don't know 652 00:28:27.420 --> 00:28:28.740 why I've got no idea, but I haven't got a 653 00:28:28.740 --> 00:28:29.940 boy to compare it to. 654 00:28:30.640 --> 00:28:34.250 My daughter was obsessed with friends from not the sitcom, 655 00:28:34.329 --> 00:28:39.589 the thing, the concept of, She was obsessed with friendship from, like, 656 00:28:39.809 --> 00:28:44.029 three or four, whereas my son, who's now three, he's 657 00:28:44.089 --> 00:28:48.529 got mates, but he doesn't care. It doesn't seem to 658 00:28:48.569 --> 00:28:51.880 be a thing that drives him in the same way 659 00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:54.160 it drove and drives my daughter. 660 00:28:55.380 --> 00:28:59.220 Oh, but girls are f * * * ed. They're absolutely... 661 00:28:58.480 --> 00:29:00.279 I don't know why, and it was like this. 662 00:29:02.529 --> 00:29:04.950 For me, back at school, I mean, she's my daughter. 663 00:29:05.130 --> 00:29:09.210 She is reminding me very much of my best friend 664 00:29:09.289 --> 00:29:09.549 I had. 665 00:29:09.509 --> 00:29:10.670 At primary school. 666 00:29:12.109 --> 00:29:16.230 Who just learned to manipulate at such a young age. 667 00:29:16.339 --> 00:29:18.690 And you're like, and one minute I'd be her. 668 00:29:18.619 --> 00:29:21.319 Friend and then the next minute she would fucking ditch 669 00:29:21.339 --> 00:29:25.039 me because my egg sandwich

smelled farty or whatever and 670 00:29:25.079 --> 00:29:28.819 she'd fucking talk to me for a week. So it's 671 00:29:28.920 --> 00:29:31.640 bringing up a lot of that. But I just. 672 00:29:33.420 --> 00:29:35.720 I don't know how it's such. 673 00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:38.630 A universal thing and how there's always like a regina 674 00:29:38.690 --> 00:29:43.150 george mean girls in every single even in fucking primary 675 00:29:43.170 --> 00:29:44.599 school how is this. 676 00:29:44.500 --> 00:29:46.619 A thing it's mad is it and it's true it 677 00:29:46.660 --> 00:29:49.559 does happen and it's normally as i'd say one or 678 00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:51.839 what like what you know normally it's only one kid 679 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:54.599 really that is the main source of it and then 680 00:29:54.619 --> 00:29:57.289 that has a knock-on effect to the But it's weird 681 00:29:57.329 --> 00:29:58.630 how they put it on that roll. It's almost like, 682 00:29:58.670 --> 00:30:01.109 is it a psychological experiment where even if that child 683 00:30:01.130 --> 00:30:05.089 was taken out, another one would appear as like the 684 00:30:05.109 --> 00:30:07.240 king is dead, long live the king. And another one 685 00:30:07.460 --> 00:30:09.680 out of that group comes out. 686 00:30:10.220 --> 00:30:10.799 Do you know what I mean? 687 00:30:10.859 --> 00:30:12.400 It's not even that. It's just someone has to be 688 00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:14.799 that one. And for circumstances out of their control, they 689 00:30:14.839 --> 00:30:15.279 become it. 690 00:30:15.619 --> 00:30:18.049 Rob, you have to have a leader. Humans need to 691 00:30:18.130 --> 00:30:20.349 follow some kind of authority. 692 00:30:20.369 --> 00:30:21.950 They need to be sat down and forced to read 693 00:30:21.990 --> 00:30:23.930 a book with a timer and questions at the end. 694 00:30:27.599 --> 00:30:31.640 Were you guys ever bullied by like a best friend 695 00:30:31.740 --> 00:30:32.680 at primary school? 696 00:30:33.259 --> 00:30:35.380 I've got a terrible feeling that I went to a 697 00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:37.880 tiny primary school. So there's only four kids in my year. 698 00:30:41.339 --> 00:30:44.700 So it wasn't, it wasn't difficult for me to rise 699 00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:49.819 to the top. Let's put it that way. But I've 700 00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:53.880 got a feeling I, with my best mate, so there's 701 00:30:53.920 --> 00:30:55.589 two boys, two girls. So my best mate was the 702 00:30:55.609 --> 00:30:58.869 other boy. And, I've got a feeling I was the 703 00:30:58.990 --> 00:31:01.910 one that was the bossing him around and being, no, 704 00:31:02.549 --> 00:31:06.269 I've got a feeling I was, um, let's not try 705 00:31:06.309 --> 00:31:09.309 and soften it. Um, I think I was that kid, 706 00:31:09.369 --> 00:31:11.329 but it wasn't, I don't think I'd have been that 707 00:31:11.369 --> 00:31:12.809 kid in a bigger school. Cause as soon as I 708 00:31:12.849 -->

00:31:15.910 got to secondary school, I just disappeared. I had, I 709 00:31:15.970 --> 00:31:18.809 had big fish, small pond syndrome. Do you know what 710 00:31:18.869 --> 00:31:19.869 I mean? 711 00:31:19.910 --> 00:31:21.470 That must've been horrendous. 712 00:31:22.009 --> 00:31:24.390 Well, I don't know. It just, I just kind of 713 00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:29.309 existed in secondary school. I didn't kind of just kept 714 00:31:29.349 --> 00:31:31.150 my head down. I was like, I was like the 715 00:31:31.190 --> 00:31:33.000 pointless answer. Do you know what I mean? I was, 716 00:31:33.079 --> 00:31:34.319 no one would remember me. 717 00:31:34.740 --> 00:31:34.839 Yeah. 718 00:31:35.859 --> 00:31:36.839 It wasn't good or bad. 719 00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:39.180 I wasn't good or bad. I wasn't bullied. I wasn't 720 00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:42.440 like I was. I didn't have the wrong shoes, but 721 00:31:42.460 --> 00:31:44.220 I didn't have the right shoes. I didn't know, you know, 722 00:31:44.259 --> 00:31:45.200 all that kind of. Yeah. 723 00:31:45.319 --> 00:31:46.349 Yeah. 724 00:31:46.769 --> 00:31:49.269 I think for me, the primary school was sort of fine. 725 00:31:49.309 --> 00:31:51.670 It felt like it was quite chilled. But in secondary school, 726 00:31:51.690 --> 00:31:53.569 there was more kids. So I wouldn't say I was 727 00:31:54.549 --> 00:31:57.049 I was I was bullied at points. But I wouldn't 728 00:31:57.109 --> 00:32:00.009 I wouldn't say I was because when people are properly bullied, 729 00:32:00.049 --> 00:32:02.670 it is like. I never was fearful to go into 730 00:32:02.730 --> 00:32:04.769 school and I wasn't being chased or beaten up. I 731 00:32:04.789 --> 00:32:06.130 went to quite a rough school. So the kids were 732 00:32:06.150 --> 00:32:08.819 getting bullied at my school, like getting beaten up. So 733 00:32:08.920 --> 00:32:11.680 if someone was calling you fat or being mean, you 734 00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:14.019 felt like you couldn't really moan about it or complain 735 00:32:14.039 --> 00:32:15.680 because other bigger stuff was going on. Do you know 736 00:32:15.700 --> 00:32:17.359 what I mean? So I definitely had little moments of 737 00:32:17.400 --> 00:32:18.839 people trying to bully me and I had to have 738 00:32:18.859 --> 00:32:20.539 a couple of fights in the first couple of years 739 00:32:20.599 --> 00:32:22.480 to sort of, but with boys, it's sort of like 740 00:32:22.500 --> 00:32:23.660 if someone gives it to you, you have to give 741 00:32:23.680 --> 00:32:27.230 them a smack back. And then you basically find your, 742 00:32:27.450 --> 00:32:29.380 it's like you find at my school, it felt like 743 00:32:29.880 --> 00:32:32.000 I wasn't like a tough, hard kid at all, but 744 00:32:32.299 --> 00:32:35.539 I wasn't really weak either. But if someone was trying 745 00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:37.740 to like start me, I'd have to hold my own 746 00:32:37.779 --> 00:32:40.900 in order to like, so they wouldn't take the piss 747 00:32:40.920 --> 00:32:42.279 going forward. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, 748 00:32:42.299 --> 00:32:44.220 there was different moments where I'd get bullied or it 749 00:32:44.259 --> 00:32:45.880 wasn't a best friend having a go at me though, 750 00:32:45.900 --> 00:32:48.549 where I think that's a different type of, there's a 751 00:32:48.569 --> 00:32:50.289 lot more coercive control. It's a bit more under the 752 00:32:50.309 --> 00:32:53.750 radar where it's like, like you'd see, it's more often 753 00:32:53.769 --> 00:32:55.599 than not, I find, I never really had like one best, 754 00:32:55.650 --> 00:32:57.859 best friend. I had lots of different friends, which I 755 00:32:57.859 --> 00:32:59.480 think is a better way of going about it, where 756 00:32:59.740 --> 00:33:01.759 the people that I always saw together as a pair, 757 00:33:02.220 --> 00:33:03.789 there was always one that was more in control of 758 00:33:03.829 --> 00:33:06.460 that relationship. And they'll be like, oh, don't talk to 759 00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:09.960 them today. Or don't wear that tomorrow. And the other 760 00:33:10.009 --> 00:33:11.750 one will be like, oh, okay. You know what I mean? 761 00:33:11.769 --> 00:33:13.289 So it's like... The. 762 00:33:13.089 --> 00:33:16.269 Flying monkeys that will just do whatever they want. 763 00:33:16.289 --> 00:33:18.190 Yes, essentially there was always that. And that was always, 764 00:33:18.210 --> 00:33:21.970 I found, from afar more prevalent when there was double 765 00:33:22.029 --> 00:33:22.730 acts of friendship. 766 00:33:22.750 --> 00:33:26.430 But did you have... Because I don't... You know... You'd 767 00:33:26.470 --> 00:33:29.130 be in a group and then somehow you'd get kind 768 00:33:29.170 --> 00:33:31.509 of locked out of the group because you'd have done 769 00:33:31.609 --> 00:33:36.150 something or whatever. And that thought, I can still feel, 770 00:33:36.240 --> 00:33:40.039 not a specific day or something, but I can still 771 00:33:40.680 --> 00:33:44.339 feel that feeling in my stomach of what it's like 772 00:33:44.380 --> 00:33:48.579 to go into school thinking, oh, God. who do I 773 00:33:48.660 --> 00:33:51.000 talk to? Because suddenly I'm not on the, in part 774 00:33:51.019 --> 00:33:54.220 of the group anymore. And at that time you don't think, 775 00:33:54.480 --> 00:33:57.269 don't worry in 72 hours, it'll be someone else. At 776 00:33:57.309 --> 00:33:59.210 that time you think I'm never going to have a 777 00:33:59.250 --> 00:34:02.130 friend ever again. What do I do for lunchtime or whatever? 778 00:34:02.529 --> 00:34:05.650 And I can still feel that. And that's not, I 779 00:34:05.690 --> 00:34:08.750 think that was happening to every single kid, just bits 780 00:34:08.809 --> 00:34:13.150 and bobs and stuff. But that feeling, and I've, you know, 781 00:34:13.590 --> 00:34:16.690 you see it in, my daughter's life because it's happening. 782

00:34:16.889 --> 00:34:19.199 You can just see it happening. Cause that's how kids behave. 783 00:34:19.800 --> 00:34:23.519 And that horrible feeling of looking across the playground and 784 00:34:23.659 --> 00:34:27.750 stealing a glance is just, You know, I can remember 785 00:34:27.789 --> 00:34:29.550 it like it's yesterday. 786 00:34:29.710 --> 00:34:31.690 That's brought back a memory. I remember when I was 787 00:34:31.710 --> 00:34:34.369 a bit of a fat, nerdy teenager and I had 788 00:34:34.409 --> 00:34:36.070 a new coat and it was quite a nice coat. 789 00:34:36.090 --> 00:34:37.750 It was like a Calvin Klein coat. It was like 790 00:34:37.849 --> 00:34:39.610 cream as well. So I was like, it was quite 791 00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:41.650 a bold coat to have, but it was like a 792 00:34:41.730 --> 00:34:44.199 cream coat at school. And I loved it. It was 793 00:34:44.219 --> 00:34:46.599 really nice. And then one of the cooler kids at 794 00:34:46.659 --> 00:34:48.639 school was like the ones that all the girls fancy. 795 00:34:48.659 --> 00:34:50.380 And he was a bit of a singer and an actor. 796 00:34:50.760 --> 00:34:53.380 He had the same coat as me, right? And then 797 00:34:53.440 --> 00:34:54.980 I was a bit like, oh, hello, look at that. 798 00:34:55.139 --> 00:34:57.639 But then he got shit for having the same coat 799 00:34:57.699 --> 00:35:00.260 as me because that devalued his coat. 800 00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:02.849 And I was like, what? 801 00:35:02.889 --> 00:35:04.429 So he's getting... And then he had the up with 802 00:35:04.449 --> 00:35:05.849 me because he was getting shit because he had the 803 00:35:05.889 --> 00:35:08.590 same coat as me. And I was like, oh, for fuck's. 804 00:35:08.130 --> 00:35:10.750 Sake, this is horrible. Oh, my God. 805 00:35:10.789 --> 00:35:12.070 I literally. 806 00:35:12.449 --> 00:35:16.909 But do you know what? It is... When you say that, Josh, 807 00:35:17.070 --> 00:35:17.889 about being. 808 00:35:19.039 --> 00:35:23.000 ostracized you it would just be somebody and I it's 809 00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:27.699 like the very early it's like was like being cancelled at. 810 00:35:27.599 --> 00:35:30.119 School yeah yeah nobody fucking you'd. 811 00:35:29.969 --> 00:35:33.869 Be in the fucking Philip Schofield for a week nobody 812 00:35:33.929 --> 00:35:35.889 would sit to you and say I'll sit next to 813 00:35:35.909 --> 00:35:38.710 you at lunch it was do you remember just hating 814 00:35:38.789 --> 00:35:40.150 fucking break time. 815 00:35:40.170 --> 00:35:42.769 Yeah oh god you didn't want a break time at 816 00:35:42.809 --> 00:35:46.570 least in a lesson they have to they're they're required 817 00:35:46.610 --> 00:35:47.849 to sit next to me do. 818 00:35:47.840 --> 00:35:49.679 You know what i mean oh horrible oh i'm gonna 819 00:35:49.699 --> 00:35:51.460 have to hang out with the kids you know that 820 00:35:51.519 --> 00:35:54.500 got the knits and smell like their. 821 00:35:54.539 --> 00:35:57.159 Fags and then the worst bit is i'll be allowed 822 00:35:57.239 --> 00:36:00.039 back into the group and i'm saying this by the 823 00:36:00.079 --> 00:36:02.039 way as someone who wasn't like a victim star i 824 00:36:02.059 --> 00:36:03.539 just think it was just generally i'm not. 825 00:36:03.820 --> 00:36:05.969 I think everyone at school gets bullied slightly to a 826 00:36:06.010 --> 00:36:07.360 point where it's way worse. 827 00:36:07.460 --> 00:36:09.920 And then you'd get allowed back into the, well, not 828 00:36:09.940 --> 00:36:11.900 the cool group, but like the medium group that I 829 00:36:11.920 --> 00:36:15.719 was a part of. And suddenly I'd be looking across 830 00:36:15.780 --> 00:36:20.639 at the kids I'd been using as my kind of 831 00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:23.739 friends for a week. And I'd feel like I'd betrayed 832 00:36:23.820 --> 00:36:25.940 them because I just used them as someone to talk 833 00:36:25.980 --> 00:36:28.659 to for the week until I was allowed back into 834 00:36:28.699 --> 00:36:30.539 the cool group. Do you know what I mean? And 835 00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:33.570 you're like, Yeah, I won't be needing you guys anymore. 836 00:36:33.650 --> 00:36:35.539 And you feel... Oh, God. 837 00:36:37.030 --> 00:36:38.630 I was a sucker there. Whenever I saw a kid 838 00:36:38.670 --> 00:36:40.630 on their own, I'd go and talk to them. But 839 00:36:40.670 --> 00:36:43.110 then I'd be their best mate, so I'd be, like, 840 00:36:43.150 --> 00:36:44.409 wandering around. You know what it's like? 841 00:36:44.429 --> 00:36:44.570 Oh, yeah. 842 00:36:44.869 --> 00:36:46.190 And then it's like, yeah, I know, but, you know, 843 00:36:46.449 --> 00:36:47.969 we don't have to sit with me every day, mate. 844 00:36:48.010 --> 00:36:49.530 I'm just sort of trying to be polite to everyone. 845 00:36:49.590 --> 00:36:53.639 Oh, God. Oh, God. That's so lovely, though. 846 00:36:53.659 --> 00:36:55.699 Yeah. You don't need to shave, mate. Not yet. You're 847 00:36:55.739 --> 00:36:57.400 cutting your face. Just don't, you know, like I'm saying, 848 00:36:57.420 --> 00:37:00.300 trying to just, like, coach them through school, going, you know, 849 00:37:00.420 --> 00:37:03.619 just maybe don't do that. Do you know that your 850 00:37:03.659 --> 00:37:07.280 tie's really long? And everyone talks about it. Just have 851 00:37:07.300 --> 00:37:09.659 it a bit shorter. Let me do it for you. 852 00:37:09.920 --> 00:37:13.159 You guys have like the flying thing. If you had 853 00:37:13.199 --> 00:37:16.559 your collar out, that was really bad. 854 00:37:16.639 --> 00:37:19.119 And you said, oh yeah, you're flying. So you always 855 00:37:19.139 --> 00:37:22.179 wanted your collar tucked in. Or if you had one out, 856 00:37:22.630 --> 00:37:23.110 it would be your. 857 00:37:23.130 --> 00:37:25.150 Yeah, or peanutting. Or you weren't allowed... You weren't at 858 00:37:25.170 --> 00:37:27.500 my school. You

weren't allowed to wear a backpack with 859 00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:28.139 both straps on. 860 00:37:28.659 --> 00:37:31.659 Oh, we were one strap for the first two years. 861 00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:34.659 And then one day, it was two straps. And if 862 00:37:34.679 --> 00:37:38.190 you didn't know, like, the whole of the rules had... Yeah. 863 00:37:38.210 --> 00:37:39.289 Two-strap wanker. 864 00:37:39.309 --> 00:37:40.289 Two-strap wanker. Yeah. 865 00:37:41.030 --> 00:37:44.820 And then one strap over the cross. Yeah. It's so 866 00:37:44.860 --> 00:37:45.360 hard school. 867 00:37:45.380 --> 00:37:49.050 I don't... Were white socks really frowned upon? 868 00:37:49.239 --> 00:37:49.550 Yeah. 869 00:37:49.800 --> 00:37:52.610 We didn't have a... The socks weren't a big deal. 870 00:37:52.630 --> 00:37:54.510 I got bullied for wearing high-tech socks in P.U. 871 00:37:54.989 --> 00:37:56.150 Do you know? Oh, did you? 872 00:37:56.170 --> 00:37:58.489 That was awful. High-tech, so I was just like, oh, 873 00:37:58.590 --> 00:37:58.769 my God. 874 00:37:58.829 --> 00:38:01.760 The one that was a real loser one at my 875 00:38:01.800 --> 00:38:04.360 school was there was a period... So you're allowed... Obviously, 876 00:38:04.380 --> 00:38:07.780 you had a white shirt. If you had a hard collar... 877 00:38:07.820 --> 00:38:11.239 rather than a soft collar, you were considered a complete nerd. 878 00:38:11.719 --> 00:38:12.139 Really? 879 00:38:12.460 --> 00:38:15.329 And that came in like, just came in. And suddenly 880 00:38:15.349 --> 00:38:17.130 you're like, having to go to your parents, I need 881 00:38:17.150 --> 00:38:20.969 a total overhaul of my shirts. Because these hard collar 882 00:38:20.989 --> 00:38:23.070 shirts are of no use to me anymore. 883 00:38:23.570 --> 00:38:25.579 Yeah, and I just can't possibly wear that in today. 884 00:38:25.619 --> 00:38:29.559 Yeah, I'm sorry. But as of 12 hours ago. All 885 00:38:29.579 --> 00:38:30.900 of these shirts are dead. 886 00:38:31.340 --> 00:38:32.980 It does make me feel like when your kid comes 887 00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:34.519 home with a strange request, just go, yeah, right. 888 00:38:34.820 --> 00:38:35.380 Yeah, yeah. 889 00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.760 Because if there are a soft collar shirt to put on, 890 00:38:37.760 --> 00:38:39.559 why not just let them have it? 891 00:38:39.719 --> 00:38:40.300 Yeah. 892 00:38:40.380 --> 00:38:42.480 I don't want them character building by sending them in 893 00:38:42.539 --> 00:38:46.289 in the wrong collar because they're going to be dreading school. 894 00:38:47.139 --> 00:38:51.239 So can I ask then, who the fuck decides the rules? 895 00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:51.940 I don't know. 896 00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:54.699 Of what school and what's not in? 897 00:38:54.800 --> 00:38:59.269 It's weird though, because it's not fully dictated by the 898 00:38:59.329 --> 00:39:01.989 rest of culture. It's almost like a microcosm of that school. 899 00:39:02.389 --> 00:39:04.780 But I don't know if that's changed now with social 900 00:39:04.820 --> 00:39:06.659 media coming through and everyone's a bit more on the 901 00:39:06.679 --> 00:39:09.039 same page. But there was definitely things in my school 902 00:39:09.079 --> 00:39:11.340 that were a big thing that didn't exist in any 903 00:39:11.400 --> 00:39:11.840 other school. 904 00:39:12.289 --> 00:39:15.920 Because on TV, say we got most of our stuff 905 00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:18.579 when we were growing up from television, a bit from 906 00:39:18.619 --> 00:39:21.800 maybe magazines, a bit from the radio, but in television, 907 00:39:22.559 --> 00:39:26.309 no one on television was wearing a hard or a 908 00:39:26.349 --> 00:39:27.010 soft collar. 909 00:39:27.070 --> 00:39:28.130 No one gave a fuck. 910 00:39:28.150 --> 00:39:31.230 That wasn't a thing. No, that... weren't a thing on 911 00:39:31.269 --> 00:39:34.909 TV so it must come totally from the because take 912 00:39:34.969 --> 00:39:37.780 that one wearing one strap on their backpack it's not 913 00:39:37.820 --> 00:39:41.880 like it came from somewhere like it hasn't come from 914 00:39:41.920 --> 00:39:45.719 a greater culture it's just within the school isn't. 915 00:39:45.539 --> 00:39:50.079 It oh yeah it must be it must be I 916 00:39:50.139 --> 00:39:50.780 hated it so much. 917 00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:54.320 I mean, I was, for girls, I think it was 918 00:39:54.400 --> 00:39:57.469 definitely harder. I don't think it's fucking changed at all. 919 00:39:57.489 --> 00:39:58.409 No, I think it's harder for girls. 920 00:39:58.429 --> 00:40:02.130 I was in a group and we were all fucking slags. 921 00:40:02.170 --> 00:40:06.130 I mean, we dressed like, you couldn't see our skirts. 922 00:40:06.150 --> 00:40:10.219 We had these great big fucking platform shoes. Like, I 923 00:40:10.239 --> 00:40:13.800 think four out of the six of us were called Jodie's. 924 00:40:14.809 --> 00:40:18.610 And we were just constantly in the fucking headmaster's office. 925 00:40:18.650 --> 00:40:22.250 Cause it was one of us that somebody was getting ostracized. 926 00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:23.880 Their mum had phoned up. 927 00:40:23.900 --> 00:40:25.659 So in your group, it was six of you. It 928 00:40:25.679 --> 00:40:26.619 was very toxic. 929 00:40:27.139 --> 00:40:28.320 It was like a toxic thing. 930 00:40:28.340 --> 00:40:30.500 I remember one of the Jody's came up to me 931 00:40:30.559 --> 00:40:33.179 and she said, um, and when she came up to me, 932 00:40:33.300 --> 00:40:35.110 Jody Smith came up to me and she said, do 933 00:40:35.139 --> 00:40:37.110 you think Jody. 934 00:40:36.829 --> 00:40:39.170 Gibson's a bit of a bitch? And I said, I 935 00:40:39.190 --> 00:40:40.809 think she's all right. She goes, yeah, but she is 936 00:40:40.829 --> 00:40:42.210 a little bit of a bitch. Isn't she? 937 00:40:42.309 --> 00:40:44.230 And I, Didn't think she was a bitch, but I 938

00:40:44.269 --> 00:40:47.880 just said, oh, yeah, I suppose sometimes. And she fucking 939 00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:51.739 went straight to Jodie Gibson and said, Daisy. 940 00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:54.400 Said that you're a fucking bitch. Oh, my God. And 941 00:40:54.420 --> 00:40:57.699 she said, did you say this, Daisy? And I went, well, yeah. 942 00:40:58.500 --> 00:40:59.440 And I didn't mean it. 943 00:40:59.659 --> 00:41:01.730 I didn't mean it, but it was at a time 944 00:41:02.130 --> 00:41:05.570 when Big Brother was all about, you know, I say 945 00:41:05.610 --> 00:41:08.070 to your face what I think about you and all that. 946 00:41:09.010 --> 00:41:10.710 I was having to tell this girl off, which is 947 00:41:10.750 --> 00:41:14.610 a bitch, and I genuinely didn't think she was a 948 00:41:14.610 --> 00:41:15.280 bitch at all. 949 00:41:15.840 --> 00:41:19.659 Oh, God. It's horrible. I should say that you've written 950 00:41:19.800 --> 00:41:21.079 a book, Hexy Bitch. 951 00:41:21.659 --> 00:41:22.420 Hexy Bitch. 952 00:41:22.599 --> 00:41:25.800 Hexy Bitch. And, you know, I'll be honest. 953 00:41:25.820 --> 00:41:26.019 Yeah. 954 00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:28.159 We've spoken to some people where we think, oh, God, 955 00:41:28.199 --> 00:41:30.539 we're going to have to talk about quite boring stuff 956 00:41:30.599 --> 00:41:34.079 in their books. But this is exciting because I am 957 00:41:34.300 --> 00:41:36.300 interested in The Unexplained. 958 00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:38.579 Oh, are you? 959 00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:41.139 Yeah, well, I'm not as interested as you. I haven't 960 00:41:41.159 --> 00:41:44.000 written a book on it, but I am always excited 961 00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:47.000 to discuss it. It's something that does fascinate me. So 962 00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:49.539 tell us about your book. Tell us from my life, 963 00:41:49.599 --> 00:41:51.199 the afterlife and beyond. 964 00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:52.420 Ghosts and shit. 965 00:41:52.820 --> 00:41:54.059 Ghosts and fucking shit. 966 00:41:54.139 --> 00:41:56.860 Well, I'm going to start off by saying, you know, 967 00:41:56.880 --> 00:42:01.409 I after, you know, Many years. I've had, in the 968 00:42:01.469 --> 00:42:06.889 last few years, since Michael Slugs, Michael Slugs died, he 969 00:42:06.909 --> 00:42:10.420 played Slugs in this country. I've had a few things 970 00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:16.179 happen and it fucking exists. I can't think that I've 971 00:42:16.239 --> 00:42:19.699 seen it with my own eyes. And it's kind of 972 00:42:20.139 --> 00:42:23.039 unpicking that and going, well, what the fuck is this then? 973 00:42:23.119 --> 00:42:25.969 And if this exists, what else fucking exists? 974 00:42:26.050 --> 00:42:28.760 Can you tell us some things that have happened to you? 975 00:42:29.699 --> 00:42:34.230 Well, the biggest thing for me, and it's always such 976 00:42:34.269 --> 00:42:36.650 like a taboo subject, and I think people are worried, 977 00:42:37.230 --> 00:42:39.389 because I don't want to come across like I'm fucking 978 00:42:39.530 --> 00:42:42.969 David Icke and I've, you know, covered the reptilians and 979 00:42:42.989 --> 00:42:47.340 whatever and get cancelled. But when Michael, who played Slugs 980 00:42:47.400 --> 00:42:53.030 in the show, was in palliative care, he he was 981 00:42:53.110 --> 00:42:57.070 so frightened of dying and but so but yeah then 982 00:42:57.090 --> 00:42:59.179 he phoned me up and he said I'm not frightened 983 00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:04.800 anymore I've had this I I had this kind of 984 00:43:04.940 --> 00:43:08.699 like angelic like ethereal being that was at the end 985 00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:12.170 of my bed who told me that in seven days 986 00:43:12.269 --> 00:43:18.199 at midnight I would have a new body and And 987 00:43:18.679 --> 00:43:21.599 I admit, because he was in such agony all the time. 988 00:43:21.639 --> 00:43:24.000 And it got to the point near the end, like 989 00:43:24.059 --> 00:43:27.699 his body was just retaining fluid. So he, like his joints, 990 00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:30.860 like he couldn't walk. He was in so much pain. 991 00:43:30.880 --> 00:43:32.619 So he was like, I'm either going to get better 992 00:43:33.110 --> 00:43:36.889 or I'm going to, you know, this is going to 993 00:43:36.909 --> 00:43:39.130 be the end and I'm going to be free of 994 00:43:39.170 --> 00:43:42.610 this pain. And he ended up dying in seven days 995 00:43:43.070 --> 00:43:47.199 at his time of death was like 1159 p.m. And 996 00:43:47.579 --> 00:43:52.570 I just remember thinking that is extraordinary. Like it's either that, 997 00:43:52.730 --> 00:43:54.949 I remember like my grandfather was a GP and he 998 00:43:54.989 --> 00:43:58.409 was like, whatever you do, if somebody's terminally ill, never 999 00:43:58.469 --> 00:44:01.070 give them a time to die because they will fucking 1000 00:44:01.110 --> 00:44:01.949 die on that day. 1001 00:44:02.050 --> 00:44:06.429 So it's either that his body, he believed. 1002 00:44:06.050 --> 00:44:10.710 In so much from what he's witnessed that his mind 1003 00:44:10.769 --> 00:44:14.429 was in control of when he passed away or it's 1004 00:44:14.469 --> 00:44:17.409 that he fucking saw something. 1005 00:44:18.349 --> 00:44:20.710 And then recently, it's weird, when. 1006 00:44:20.929 --> 00:44:24.469 I've been writing this book and I was talking to 1007 00:44:24.510 --> 00:44:26.030 my brother about it and I was like, of all 1008 00:44:26.090 --> 00:44:29.750 the fucking people who should. 1009 00:44:29.590 --> 00:44:30.610 Come back and let me. 1010 00:44:30.650 --> 00:44:32.750 Like, who would have come back and let me know 1011 00:44:32.789 --> 00:44:35.929 that they were all right, it would have been him. 1012 00:44:36.550 --> 00:44:39.090 And that was making me lose faith because I thought. 1013 00:44:40.210 --> 00:44:42.690 I've not had anything from him and he fucking would 1014

00:44:42.710 --> 00:44:45.329 have come back in some way. And then. 1015 00:44:46.690 --> 00:44:52.710 And we were, it was, so sorry, going back, he, 1016 00:44:53.329 --> 00:44:56.210 when he was dying, I said, is there any regrets 1017 00:44:56.250 --> 00:44:59.989 that you have? And he said, with no irony, I 1018 00:45:00.030 --> 00:45:02.030 just really gutted I'm going to miss out. 1019 00:45:02.070 --> 00:45:04.289 On the Phoenix Festival this year, which is. 1020 00:45:04.250 --> 00:45:10.869 Like this tiny fucking music festival that's in our town. 1021 00:45:11.639 --> 00:45:14.260 that he fucking loved because it was free and it 1022 00:45:14.300 --> 00:45:17.510 was sort of within walking distance of his house. And 1023 00:45:17.550 --> 00:45:22.489 there was a Guns N' Roses fucking tribute band that year. 1024 00:45:22.889 --> 00:45:25.090 And he was so excited to see it. Like his 1025 00:45:25.150 --> 00:45:26.090 world was so small. 1026 00:45:26.150 --> 00:45:28.559 And anyway, after saying that, what I did to my 1027 00:45:28.599 --> 00:45:34.920 brother during this book, my partner and I were in bed. 1028 00:45:35.400 --> 00:45:39.289 The house was completely empty and we heard, this fucking 1029 00:45:39.389 --> 00:45:43.949 banging this rhythmical kind of banging intelligent banging on our 1030 00:45:43.989 --> 00:45:49.090 bedroom door yeah oh god we checked all the tv 1031 00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:53.739 there and it turns out it was on the day 1032 00:45:54.860 --> 00:45:57.800 of the phoenix festival of when the phoenix festival is 1033 00:45:57.840 --> 00:45:59.300 being held and i just. 1034 00:45:59.380 --> 00:46:01.099 And your partner heard it too as well so. 1035 00:46:01.019 --> 00:46:02.619 It's not just you my partner heard it too it 1036 00:46:02.639 --> 00:46:03.280 was like. 1037 00:46:03.099 --> 00:46:06.389 God god And were you scared or were you reassured? 1038 00:46:06.789 --> 00:46:09.500 I wasn't. I was just so fucking confused. 1039 00:46:09.519 --> 00:46:15.139 I thought cats can't fucking not like that. But it 1040 00:46:15.179 --> 00:46:17.610 was it was when I found out and I've even 1041 00:46:17.670 --> 00:46:19.389 said out loud, fuck it, you're going to have to 1042 00:46:19.449 --> 00:46:24.269 do something even more like. You can't, even that to 1043 00:46:24.309 --> 00:46:26.730 me is too vague. Like I need to, you need 1044 00:46:26.750 --> 00:46:29.530 to literally write your name on my mirror and my 1045 00:46:29.570 --> 00:46:30.530 lipstick or something. 1046 00:46:30.550 --> 00:46:32.469 I'm going to need more. 1047 00:46:32.530 --> 00:46:38.090 But I just, that for me was like, yeah, I just, 1048 00:46:38.190 --> 00:46:39.969 I can't, I haven't heard that. 1049 00:46:40.389 --> 00:46:43.159 And I've had other things that have happened. 1050 00:46:43.449 --> 00:46:46.800 Does that reassure you? Because that would terrify me if 1051 00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:49.000 that kind of thing happened.

But do you feel like, 1052 00:46:49.099 --> 00:46:50.599 were you like relieved when that happened? 1053 00:46:50.909 --> 00:46:52.760 Do you know, I don't know. 1054 00:46:52.880 --> 00:46:56.719 I just, I think, I think like the biggest thing 1055 00:46:56.780 --> 00:46:59.320 was obviously trying to fucking debunk it was like the 1056 00:46:59.360 --> 00:47:00.099 first thing. 1057 00:47:00.199 --> 00:47:00.460 Yeah. 1058 00:47:01.059 --> 00:47:03.510 And I don't ever want to be these people, one 1059 00:47:03.530 --> 00:47:06.510 of these people, and I'm so aware of not being 1060 00:47:06.570 --> 00:47:10.690 one of these people that is like, you know, so 1061 00:47:10.849 --> 00:47:17.170 desperate for, validation that there's an afterlife that I'll, you know, 1062 00:47:17.230 --> 00:47:18.110 grab at anything. 1063 00:47:18.170 --> 00:47:20.150 It's like my mum used to pay a lot of 1064 00:47:20.210 --> 00:47:20.949 money when her. 1065 00:47:20.849 --> 00:47:23.440 Sister, her sister tragically died in a car accident and 1066 00:47:24.019 --> 00:47:28.420 spent so much money on these terrible fucking sidekicks in 1067 00:47:28.440 --> 00:47:31.199 the sort of back, you know, back rooms of pubs and... 1068 00:47:32.000 --> 00:47:34.960 And I saw her heart get broken and broken again. 1069 00:47:34.980 --> 00:47:36.579 I never wanted to be one of them. 1070 00:47:36.599 --> 00:47:38.880 Because when you're really desperate for it, you search for it, 1071 00:47:38.940 --> 00:47:40.860 there will be people exploiting that, won't there? 1072 00:47:41.320 --> 00:47:41.900 Exactly. 1073 00:47:42.159 --> 00:47:46.619 But this felt very different. And since that's happened, I've 1074 00:47:46.659 --> 00:47:51.659 woken up to the bed covers. Something was lifting the 1075 00:47:51.679 --> 00:47:52.139 bed covers. 1076 00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:56.940 Tugging it. And I was completely awake. I was aware. 1077 00:47:56.960 --> 00:48:00.159 I wasn't frightened. 1078 00:48:00.380 --> 00:48:04.059 I was just kind of, And it happened for about 1079 00:48:04.059 --> 00:48:10.050 30 seconds and then it stopped. And it's like, there 1080 00:48:10.110 --> 00:48:12.969 is so much fucking, I think we're so naive if 1081 00:48:13.030 --> 00:48:17.929 we think that this is it. And I know, I've 1082 00:48:17.989 --> 00:48:19.469 seen things with my own eyes. 1083 00:48:19.780 --> 00:48:22.280 So in the book, obviously you've got these kind of stories, 1084 00:48:22.300 --> 00:48:24.579 but do you also investigate it as well? Is that right? 1085 00:48:24.960 --> 00:48:27.800 You've got stuff off the dark web, some equipment. 1086 00:48:27.820 --> 00:48:29.639 Yeah. Oh, yeah, fucking equipment. 1087 00:48:29.659 --> 00:48:32.920 I mean, the equipment's so fucking terrible, though, because it's 1088 00:48:33.039 --> 00:48:34.920 all fucking faulty. 1089 00:48:35.079 --> 00:48:37.800 And it's like, it's so expensive. I mean, I paid 1090 00:48:37.840 --> 00:48:39.739 fucking 200 quid for this thing. 1091 00:48:40.239 --> 00:48:42.219 It's like a ghost detector, which has got a really 1092 00:48:42.260 --> 00:48:44.929 long aerial, and it sort of goes beep, beep, beep. 1093 00:48:45.010 --> 00:48:46.699 If there's a ghost, ghost fucking near it. 1094 00:48:47.210 --> 00:48:50.769 But the problem is, it's like, it will fucking just 1095 00:48:50.809 --> 00:48:53.150 do it at random. I mean, this is the problem 1096 00:48:53.190 --> 00:49:02.239 with ghost equipment, is you can't... What a sentence. doing 1097 00:49:02.260 --> 00:49:05.460 that program with you Robert we recently did a Amazon 1098 00:49:05.519 --> 00:49:10.920 show where I spoke to Bob Mortimer about his near-death 1099 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:12.300 experience yeah. 1100 00:49:12.340 --> 00:49:14.670 That was amazing yeah because you were it makes sense 1101 00:49:14.690 --> 00:49:16.829 now why you were so interested in that with this 1102 00:49:16.889 --> 00:49:19.710 book because yeah he what is it he told you 1103 00:49:19.730 --> 00:49:22.239 he said that he he felt he saw something when 1104 00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:24.000 he was when he was having that. 1105 00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:28.159 Trouble and it's like he went through a white he 1106 00:49:28.219 --> 00:49:30.840 saw a white tunnel and you know it's so i 1107 00:49:30.860 --> 00:49:35.239 mean it's so fucking drained and it's so a such 1108 00:49:35.800 --> 00:49:38.909 well-known story about white tunnel and seeing the light that 1109 00:49:38.989 --> 00:49:41.130 it's even in fucking like popular culture you get it 1110 00:49:41.150 --> 00:49:43.349 in looney tunes cartoons. 1111 00:49:42.849 --> 00:49:45.889 Where a character and then there's the light my. 1112 00:49:45.789 --> 00:49:48.070 Friend had that happen to him he got he was 1113 00:49:48.090 --> 00:49:50.750 i can't remember where he was abroad somewhere it was 1114 00:49:50.769 --> 00:49:54.610 before i knew him but um he got cut with 1115 00:49:54.690 --> 00:49:57.429 like a glass that smashed and he was just pissing 1116 00:49:57.489 --> 00:50:00.210 blood out of him his arms or whatever it was. 1117 00:50:00.769 --> 00:50:03.840 And he was in a taxi to the hospital going 1118 00:50:03.880 --> 00:50:06.559 in and out of, and they basically as good as 1119 00:50:06.619 --> 00:50:09.079 died and then came back, that kind of thing. And 1120 00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:13.559 he said he was, he felt himself going towards the light. 1121 00:50:13.719 --> 00:50:16.219 And he said it was the most kind of, he 1122 00:50:16.260 --> 00:50:19.079 just felt totally fine with it. And it was really, 1123 00:50:19.480 --> 00:50:22.409 and ever since he's felt really like, okay about death, 1124 00:50:22.949 --> 00:50:24.809 it has, it's reassured him in a way. 1125 00:50:25.429 --> 00:50:28.650 Well, that was that bit. Bob was like that, wasn't he? Yeah. 1126 00:50:29.789 --> 00:50:34.190 And he said, well, I'm worried that it's like a

1127 00:50:34.269 --> 00:50:37.829 chemical that's released in your brain, a tiny bit like 1128 00:50:37.909 --> 00:50:43.780 a morphine that helps you deal with dying. And it's like, right, OK, 1129 00:50:44.159 --> 00:50:47.380 but what about people who have been born blind and 1130 00:50:48.079 --> 00:50:51.440 had near-death experiences where they've left their body and they're 1131 00:50:51.500 --> 00:50:53.519 able to say who was. 1132 00:50:53.440 --> 00:50:55.519 In the room, what they were wearing? And these are 1133 00:50:55.559 --> 00:50:59.300 people that have, like... you know, been born without, they've 1134 00:50:59.429 --> 00:51:02.360 got no, yeah, it's extraordinary. 1135 00:51:03.260 --> 00:51:07.139 And I think, I don't know, I think these last 1136 00:51:07.219 --> 00:51:10.380 few years, it's kind of lifted this veil for me. 1137 00:51:11.219 --> 00:51:15.239 And I'm like, fucking hell, this stuff does exist. I 1138 00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:17.679 don't know, Rob, if I was talking, because I worked 1139 00:51:17.699 --> 00:51:20.139 with Tom Davis recently, and he said that him and 1140 00:51:20.179 --> 00:51:23.920 Romesh had to do film in this sort of hotel. 1141 00:51:24.420 --> 00:51:28.730 And they both had a ghostly experience. It was like, fuck, 1142 00:51:28.889 --> 00:51:31.269 I've always been so cynical of this shit. 1143 00:51:31.309 --> 00:51:32.639 Yeah, I think so. 1144 00:51:32.659 --> 00:51:34.900 Was it when they were filming King Gary up north 1145 00:51:34.940 --> 00:51:36.599 in a sort of old stately home? Yeah. 1146 00:51:37.440 --> 00:51:39.420 That was it. Oh, my God. Oh, God. 1147 00:51:39.639 --> 00:51:41.750 Because we get a lot of emails of kids that 1148 00:51:41.849 --> 00:51:44.289 come and say to their parents and stuff like, oh, 1149 00:51:45.269 --> 00:51:47.170 when I was born, when I was alive before, I 1150 00:51:47.469 --> 00:51:50.829 would ride this horse and give details that, like, a 1151 00:51:50.869 --> 00:51:53.730 four-year-old wouldn't know. Like, I would wear this red. 1152 00:51:53.690 --> 00:51:55.380 Uniform and ride into Paris. Yeah, we've had loads of 1153 00:51:55.389 --> 00:51:55.820 those emails. 1154 00:51:56.539 --> 00:51:59.199 And it would be, like, something from history. 1155 00:51:59.869 --> 00:52:00.289 Absolutely. 1156 00:52:00.349 --> 00:52:03.550 I mean, we're so naive to think that there's not... 1157 00:52:03.610 --> 00:52:05.469 We're so fucking arrogant to think. 1158 00:52:05.610 --> 00:52:09.530 I always think that. I would describe myself like, when 1159 00:52:09.550 --> 00:52:12.559 people ask what I'd like, is that, how the fuck 1160 00:52:12.579 --> 00:52:16.679 do I... With religion or paranormal stuff, I'm like, well, 1161 00:52:16.719 --> 00:52:21.179 how the fuck would I know what the mean... Arrogant 1162 00:52:21.219 --> 00:52:24.179 is the right word to go, I am certain that 1163 00:52:24.219 --> 00:52:29.239 there is nothing... is such an incredibly um cocky way 1164 00:52:29.300 --> 00:52:32.400 to approach things i think in the same you know 1165 00:52:32.420 --> 00:52:35.429 absolutely in the same way that they'd say that it's 1166 00:52:35.469 --> 00:52:38.030 cocky to go you know i know it's this this 1167 00:52:38.050 --> 00:52:39.969 this and this and if you just do this thing 1168 00:52:40.409 --> 00:52:43.469 you know then you'll be forever damned or whatever like 1169 00:52:44.210 --> 00:52:46.809 all sides if you're taking up a really extreme view 1170 00:52:46.829 --> 00:52:49.869 i i don't know how you can do that because 1171 00:52:49.909 --> 00:52:52.980 for me i can't I can't make a fucking decision 1172 00:52:53.000 --> 00:52:55.440 on anything, let alone whether there's an afterlife. 1173 00:52:55.900 --> 00:52:58.019 I feel like the whole heaven and hell thing, I 1174 00:52:58.059 --> 00:53:00.260 think that I'm not a religious or a Christian. I 1175 00:53:00.300 --> 00:53:03.289 don't think there's a heaven. But I do think if 1176 00:53:03.329 --> 00:53:06.670 you go to somewhere else, you will live with the 1177 00:53:06.710 --> 00:53:09.269 consequences of how you lived your life. And you may 1178 00:53:09.329 --> 00:53:11.730 not physically be somewhere, but you'll be in your own head. 1179 00:53:11.929 --> 00:53:14.590 And if you know you've been bad and then you're 1180 00:53:14.610 --> 00:53:16.250 in a position where you're not alive anymore and you 1181 00:53:16.269 --> 00:53:18.190 can't change it, that is a living hell. 1182 00:53:18.760 --> 00:53:19.340 Yes, yes. 1183 00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:22.800 Because you've lost that ability to change. Daisy, this has 1184 00:53:22.820 --> 00:53:23.599 been absolutely. 1185 00:53:23.320 --> 00:53:23.900 Amazing, Daisy. 1186 00:53:23.940 --> 00:53:25.840 We love having you on. Oh, what a pleasure. Please 1187 00:53:25.880 --> 00:53:26.699 come back on again. 1188 00:53:26.719 --> 00:53:30.800 Oh, Doug, guys, thank you so much. 1189 00:53:30.840 --> 00:53:32.039 What's the book called, Daisy? 1190 00:53:32.159 --> 00:53:36.090 Hexy Bitch, Tales From My Life, The Afterlife and Beyond. 1191 00:53:36.820 --> 00:53:38.030 Cheers, Daisy. Thank you so much. 1192 00:53:38.070 --> 00:53:38.789 Thank you so much. 1193 00:53:38.809 --> 00:53:40.030 Good luck with it. Thank you. 1194 00:53:40.150 --> 00:53:40.789 Take care. 1195 00:53:42.519 --> 00:53:43.929 Loved Daisy May Cooper so much. 1196 00:53:44.010 --> 00:53:46.889 Yeah, she's brilliant. She's so funny. Doing that show, that 1197 00:53:46.969 --> 00:53:49.050 Amazon show where you weren't allowed to laugh, was so 1198 00:53:50.070 --> 00:53:52.610 mentally difficult. Daisy May Cooper was one of those people, 1199 00:53:53.070 --> 00:53:58.800 she could never do anything other than comedy. Imagine her 1200 00:53:59.380 --> 00:54:00.320 being a mortgage advisor. 1201 00:54:00.820 --> 00:54:04.079 I know. Well, full disclosure, I'd go to a different 1202 00:54:04.099 --> 00:54:04.579 mortgage advisor. 1203 00:54:04.619 --> 00:54:09.789 LAUGHTER We've all got our strengths. 1204 00:54:10.250 --> 00:54:11.949 We've all got our strengths, Rob. And as much as 1205 00:54:11.969 --> 00:54:15.610 I like her, I would be politely leaving her offices 1206 00:54:15.630 --> 00:54:16.250 the moment I arrived. 1207 00:54:16.269 --> 00:54:17.849 You seem like a good laugh, but I don't want 1208 00:54:17.869 --> 00:54:19.130 to hear your interest rates, OK? 1209 00:54:19.550 --> 00:54:19.760 Right. 1210 00:54:20.110 --> 00:54:21.889 See you next time, Josh. Goodbye. 1211 00:54:21.920 --> 00:54:22.320 Bye. Bye. 1212 00:54:26.530 --> 00:54:29.170 Thank you so much for the amazing comments about Series 1213 00:54:29.170 --> 00:54:30.389 1 of Fist of Firsts. 1214 00:54:30.710 --> 00:54:33.969 Healthy, funny mind food that's also delicious. 1215 00:54:34.210 --> 00:54:36.530 I listen to 20 podcasts a week and this has 1216 00:54:36.570 --> 00:54:38.250 already nestled in my top three. 1217 00:54:38.409 --> 00:54:40.449 Ah, well, it's a must listen for anyone who's seeking 1218 00:54:40.489 --> 00:54:41.960 a deeper understanding of comedy. 1219 00:54:42.139 --> 00:54:43.880 I can't wait for more Fist of Firsts. 1220 00:54:43.980 --> 00:54:46.940 Well, the wait is over, Malawi Jones, Woz Oz and 1221 00:54:46.980 --> 00:54:49.980 Rufus Roofing. In Series 2, I'm picking the brains of 1222 00:54:50.059 --> 00:54:54.349 more A-list comedians. Subscribe now, don't miss an episode. Fist 1223 00:54:54.409 --> 00:54:56.010 of Firsts with me, Tim Reid.