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Speaker 1:
0:00
Welcome to the deep dive. Today we're diving into something I think we all could use a little more of self-compassion.
Speaker 2:
0:07
Yeah, it's one of those things. You hear about it all the time, but actually putting it into practice that could be a little bit tricky.
Speaker 1:
0:13
It really can be, and that's why I was so drawn to this book 50 Journal Prompts for those Cultivating Self-Compassion by Lestallion. I love that it's not just another self-help book telling you to think positive. It's like a guidebook for actually cultivating self-compassion.
Speaker 2:
0:29
I love that you pick up on that word cultivating, because it really is a process.
Speaker 1:
0:33
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
0:34
Right, it's not something that just happens overnight. It's something you have to work at.
Speaker 1:
0:37
Yeah, you have to tend to it like a garden, almost. And I think that's what's so cool about these journal prompts they're not just random questions, they're very intentionally designed to guide you on this journey, exactly.
Speaker 2:
0:47
And one of the things that Lestallion emphasizes early on is the importance of really understanding what self-compassion is and, just as importantly, what it isn't.
Speaker 1:
0:58
Okay, yeah, because I think there are a lot of misconceptions about self-compassion, like some people might think it's just letting yourself off the hook for bad behavior or something.
Speaker 2:
1:05
Right. It's not about making excuses for yourself or wallowing in self-pity. It's about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a close friend who's going through a tough time.
Speaker 1:
1:17
You know, when I was reading through the self-compassion foundation section, I caught myself doing this too. There's this one prompt that asks how do you usually respond to your mistakes? And at first I was like I'm pretty forgiving of myself, but then I remembered how I totally beat myself up last week over that mistake I made at work it's funny how those prompts can really reveal those moments where we're way harder on ourselves than we would ever be on anyone else it's like they shine a light on those negative thought patterns we don't even realize we have and that's a huge part of self compassion Just becoming aware of those patterns and how they impact us.
Speaker 1:
1:47
Yeah, and then we can start to shift them. There's another prompt that I thought was really interesting. It asks what's one thing you would tell a friend who's upset with themselves that you can tell yourself?
Speaker 2:
1:59
I love that one because it highlights the difference between how we treat ourselves and how we treat others, that we would never dream of being so harsh to a friend who's feeling down on themselves, but we do it to ourselves all the time without even thinking about it.
Speaker 1:
2:13
It's so true, and I think
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that's a huge first step in cultivating self-compassion, just recognizing that discrepancy and starting to challenge those negative self-talk patterns.
Speaker 2:
2:24
Absolutely. It's about learning to be our own best friend instead of our own worst critic.
Speaker 1:
2:30
So it sounds like self-compassion. It's not just something we think about every once in a while, right Like it actually takes effort and practice to make it a part of our lives.
Speaker 2:
2:38
It really does.
Speaker 1:
2:39
It's like any other skill we want to develop we have to put in the time and effort and that's where this next section comes in building self-compassion habits. I was really intrigued by some of these prompts.
Speaker 2:
2:48
Me too. Lestallion really gets creative with these, and I think that's important because it helps us to think about self-compassion in new and different ways.
Speaker 1:
2:57
Okay, so give me an example. What's one of the prompts that really stood out to you?
Speaker 2:
3:00
Well, there's one that asks what song lifts you up and why can it be a part of your self-compassion practice?
Speaker 1:
3:07
Music. I'll be honest, when I first read that one I was kind of confused, like what does music have to do with self-compassion?
Speaker 2:
3:14
Right. It seems like a strange connection at first, but when you think about it, music has this amazing power to evoke emotions right. So if you're feeling down on yourself and you put on a song that always makes you feel happy and empowered, that's an instant mood booster and it's a way of showing yourself compassion through music.
Speaker 1:
3:32
It's like having a soundtrack for self-care that makes so much sense, and it's so much more fun than just trying to force myself to think positive thoughts.
Speaker 2:
3:39
Exactly. It's about tapping into those emotional resources that already exist within us.
Speaker 1:
3:44
I love that. Okay, so what's another habit building prompt that stood out to you?
Speaker 2:
3:47
Okay, this one is so simple, but so powerful. What small victory can you celebrate today?
Speaker 1:
3:54
I love that one because it's so easy to get caught up in the big picture and forget to acknowledge all the little wins along the way.
Speaker 2:
4:01
Exactly, and our brains thrive on those little wins. Every time we celebrate a small victory, no matter how small it might seem, it releases dopamine, which makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going.
Speaker 1:
4:12
So it's like we're training our brains to focus on the positive, which is huge when it comes to self-compassion, exactly.
Speaker 2:
4:19
It's about shifting our mindset from one of self-criticism to one of self-encouragement, and those small victories can really add up over time, okay, so we're building these habits, we're celebrating the small victories, like we're creating this whole self-compassion toolkit.
Speaker 1:
4:33
But what about when things get really tough, like when we're dealing with those really big, overwhelming emotions?
Speaker 2:
4:40
That's such a good point, because that's often when self-compassion is hardest right when we feel like we need it the most.
Speaker 1:
4:46
Yeah, exactly Like when I'm feeling super anxious or angry, the last thing I want to do is be kind to myself. It feels almost impossible.
Speaker 2:
4:55
It's counterintuitive, isn't it? Our instinct is often to beat ourselves up even more when we're struggling, but that's where Lestallion challenges us to think differently.
Speaker 1:
5:06
Okay, so how do we do that, like, what are some concrete things we can do to be more compassionate with ourselves in those really tough moments?
Speaker 2:
5:10
Well, there's a prompt in this section that asks what's an emotional wound you can start to heal with self-compassion, and I think that's a really powerful place to start.
Speaker 1:
5:18
Hmm, that's interesting because it suggests that sometimes those intense emotions we're feeling might be connected to Exactly.
Speaker 2:
5:26
It's like we're carrying around these old wounds that haven't fully healed, and when we're stressed or triggered, those wounds can resurface.
Speaker 1:
5:34
And then we end up judging ourselves for feeling those things instead of recognizing them as a part of our story.
Speaker 2:
5:40
Exactly so. Self-compassion in those moments is about acknowledging those wounds with kindness and understanding instead of judgment.
Speaker 1:
5:47
OK, I'm starting to see how this connects to relationships too. Instead of judgment. Okay, I'm starting to see how this connects to relationships too. Yeah, because if we're constantly beating ourselves up, it's going to be hard to show up for others in a healthy way.
Speaker 2:
5:56
It's almost impossible, right, right, and that's what Lestallion explores in the next section, connecting with others through self-compassion.
Speaker 1:
6:02
Which makes sense, because we're coming from a place of self-criticism and negativity. That's probably what we're going to project onto others too.
Speaker 2:
6:09
Exactly. But when we learn to be more compassionate with ourselves, it creates this ripple effect. It allows us to be more patient, more forgiving, more understanding in our relationships with others.
Speaker 1:
6:21
It's like self-compassion is the foundation for all of our relationships.
Speaker 2:
6:24
I love that analogy because it's so true we can't give to others what we don't have for ourselves.
Speaker 1:
6:30
This has been such an amazing deep dive. I feel like I have a whole new understanding of self-compassion and how important it is, not just for our own well-being but for the well-being of our relationships too.
Speaker 2:
6:40
Me too. It's such a powerful practice and it's something we can all benefit from.
Speaker 1:
6:45
And I love how Lestallion emphasizes that it's a journey, not a destination. It's not about being perfectly self-compassionate all the time. It's about showing up for ourselves with kindness and curiosity, even when it's hard.
Speaker 2:
6:57
Absolutely, and those small acts of self-compassion can make a world of difference over time.
Speaker 1:
7:02
They really can. So for anyone listening who's ready to start cultivating more self-compassion in their own lives, we highly recommend checking out Lestallion's 50 Journal Prompts for those cultivating self-compassion. It's a fantastic resource and a great place to start exploring this really important topic.
Speaker 2:
7:18
And for those who want to take their journaling to the next level, Lestallion also offers these beautiful leather-bound journals. You can find them on their website at.
Speaker 1:
7:26
Perfect. We'll be sure to link to that in the show notes and, as always, thank you so much for joining us for another deep dive. We'll see you next.