النص 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.485 --> 00:00:09.541
Well, hello, beautiful souls, and welcome back to Kali Talks Transformative Conversations.
00:00:09.936 --> 00:00:15.597
As you know, I'm Dr. Kali Christanti, and it's been a very interesting ride
00:00:15.597 --> 00:00:23.381
in the last couple weeks with having laryngitis, but now I actually am back and able to speak.
00:00:24.885 --> 00:00:31.517
Well, some people might go, really? Yeah, really, I am speaking again So, you know,
00:00:32.043 --> 00:00:36.397
I'm coming to you today with a very heavy heart, actually Having just lost a
00:00:36.397 --> 00:00:38.251
very dear colleague and friend,
00:00:38.721 --> 00:00:47.777
And honestly, in the wake of the news The theme of today's episode feels more urgent than And vital,
00:00:48.340 --> 00:00:52.347
than ever You know, we really need to,
00:00:53.686 --> 00:00:57.838
talk about something uncomfortable. We need to talk about the subtle,
00:00:57.838 --> 00:01:02.276
powerful, real-life conspiracy that is afoot in the world today.
00:01:02.914 --> 00:01:09.044
I'm talking about a conspiracy that is actively trying to waste your time,
00:01:09.776 --> 00:01:17.348
destroy your focus, and keep you stuck in the same spot year after year.
00:01:17.688 --> 00:01:21.263
And as a self-sabotage coach, I know this very well.
00:01:21.780 --> 00:01:26.468
I've, you know, actually, like other things, lived sabotaging myself.
00:01:26.468 --> 00:01:32.484
And now I know when I am, what to do, how to not.
00:01:33.082 --> 00:01:36.956
See, the thing is, it isn't about being paranoid.
00:01:37.773 --> 00:01:44.158
No. And this is actually, this is about being, as some people might say, awake.
00:01:44.460 --> 00:01:48.703
Okay, well, you know, you go to bed, you wake up, you're awake. But are we really?
00:01:49.708 --> 00:01:55.578
I have a very dear friend and mentor, John, who laid out this in a way that
00:01:55.578 --> 00:01:58.969
stopped me in my tracks, and I knew I had to share it with you.
00:01:59.405 --> 00:02:03.308
You see, because this is really part and parcel with loving on empty.
00:02:03.308 --> 00:02:06.806
If we don't do this, we're continually going to be empty.
00:02:07.537 --> 00:02:18.275
Because this This conspiracy, okay, is the very thing that keeps us from stepping into our full selves.
00:02:19.059 --> 00:02:23.511
It is the fuel that keeps us loving on empty.
00:02:24.257 --> 00:02:27.333
Right. Got it? Loving on empty.
00:02:28.211 --> 00:02:33.731
So let's begin with a hard reality check, because that's where healing actually begins.
00:02:34.417 --> 00:02:42.101
Now, the reality check we need to hear is, it's so easy to get into a groove,
00:02:42.554 --> 00:02:46.564
to find a comfort zone, even a painful one.
00:02:47.150 --> 00:02:52.613
But, you know, as humans, we are masters of self-sabotage.
00:02:52.961 --> 00:02:56.949
We always loop back to you know the subconscious,
00:02:57.599 --> 00:03:03.139
subconscious always wants a familiar subconscious wants things to be the same
00:03:03.139 --> 00:03:08.919
as it always has been since childhood and it always wants to keep you safe,
00:03:09.600 --> 00:03:17.957
and it also will do anything it can to keep that in your life the safety aspect
00:03:18.317 --> 00:03:22.653
and to keep things the same, because then it feels you still belong to the tribe.
00:03:23.646 --> 00:03:29.392
Right. The tribe. Well, when things are finally working, right,
00:03:29.770 --> 00:03:36.718
the temptation to complicate things, you know, to complicate the hell out of it is irresistible.
00:03:37.353 --> 00:03:43.545
Yeah. Let's face it. Modern convenience. Oh my goodness. It is a blessing and a curse.
00:03:44.202 --> 00:03:50.571
Now, let's look at the blessing. Technology does the drudgery for us in a nanosecond.
00:03:51.575 --> 00:03:54.476
Well, for some people anyway, if they're using AI, I guess.
00:03:55.453 --> 00:04:01.855
But the curse is having been stripped of meaningful, necessary duties.
00:04:02.511 --> 00:04:06.615
Most folks have a way to destroy their brain cells.
00:04:07.283 --> 00:04:10.540
I see it. I see it. You see it.
00:04:11.250 --> 00:04:17.026
People do it. We do it. How many hours slip by in the numbing scroll of people
00:04:17.026 --> 00:04:18.866
who use TikTok? Or YouTube?
00:04:19.632 --> 00:04:26.176
Or Instagram? or Facebook, right? Or asking chat, GPT, trivial questions.
00:04:26.849 --> 00:04:34.722
Wasting time is practically an art form. Oh, it's fun and it's easy.
00:04:35.279 --> 00:04:39.925
But, and there is a but, the bill comes due.
00:04:40.674 --> 00:04:42.171
Yep, the bill will come due.
00:04:43.250 --> 00:04:45.421
And do you know what happens when the bill comes due?
00:04:47.100 --> 00:04:51.708
We gotta pay. Now, here is the reality check that changed everything for me.
00:04:52.731 --> 00:04:58.632
You only get one ticket to this life. There is no do-over button.
00:04:59.575 --> 00:05:02.112
This is not like going to your hairstylist and saying, I want to,
00:05:02.772 --> 00:05:05.547
you know, change my hair.
00:05:05.703 --> 00:05:13.025
I want to change my identity by changing my look. No, we don't get a do-over button in life.
00:05:13.385 --> 00:05:18.316
If you don't change anything, the next five years are probably going to look
00:05:18.316 --> 00:05:20.084
like the last five years.
00:05:20.741 --> 00:05:25.906
And does that thought even make your skin crawl? Well, if the answer is yes,
00:05:25.906 --> 00:05:28.575
then it's time to start shaking things up, wouldn't you think?
00:05:29.255 --> 00:05:33.497
I mean, really, most of your limitations are self-inflicted,
00:05:34.154 --> 00:05:36.964
and a lot of it has to do with time.
00:05:37.891 --> 00:05:43.196
As in, how much time do you have left on this single precious ticket.
00:05:44.263 --> 00:05:49.918
Called life? How much? Well, we don't know because we live in a world of uncertainty, don't we?
00:05:50.657 -->
Load full transcript
00:05:55.788
I mean, the only thing that's certain is uncertainty. It's the unknown.
00:05:56.559 --> 00:06:03.353
So how are you going to actually take and prioritize your future self?
00:06:04.246 --> 00:06:09.315
How? I want you to think about that. How are you going to prioritize your future self?
00:06:10.257 --> 00:06:14.704
Because if you are telling me, oh, Kali, you know, that you are not where you
00:06:14.704 --> 00:06:21.464
want to be in your relationship or your business, but you are spending four
00:06:21.464 --> 00:06:22.948
hours a night watching TV,
00:06:23.663 --> 00:06:31.718
numbing yourself with food or alcohol or marijuana or whatever your choice of numbing is.
00:06:32.373 --> 00:06:35.812
You know, it could be, I don't know, could be porn.
00:06:36.270 --> 00:06:42.201
It could be anything that numbs out what is painting you.
00:06:43.054 --> 00:06:47.785
And that's the only reason we do anything with regards to any sort of addiction,
00:06:48.504 --> 00:06:50.106
is because there's pain.
00:06:50.998 --> 00:06:53.974
So if you are doing this and scrolling
00:06:53.974 --> 00:07:00.065
for validation, then you are either delusional or you've given up.
00:07:00.956 --> 00:07:06.654
Yeah, you're either delusional or you've given up. There's only those two choices
00:07:06.654 --> 00:07:10.964
because you are the reason you are failing at the life you dream of.
00:07:11.881 --> 00:07:15.149
Success starts and ends with your own bad self.
00:07:17.126 --> 00:07:21.393
You see, there is an antidote, and that's called filling the brain tank.
00:07:22.612 --> 00:07:26.164
So, how do we break this conspiracy?
00:07:26.937 --> 00:07:32.220
How do we stop this self-sabotage and stop loving on empty?
00:07:33.029 --> 00:07:36.884
Well, I'm going to tell you right now, you do not do it by hustling.
00:07:37.556 --> 00:07:39.872
You do it by honoring your own life.
00:07:40.641 --> 00:07:46.266
I mean, instead of wasting time, I want you to make a commitment to spend your
00:07:46.266 --> 00:07:49.393
spare hours filling your own brain tank.
00:07:50.099 --> 00:07:53.170
And I don't mean more mindless entertainment.
00:07:54.142 --> 00:07:57.765
I mean, filling it with information, knowledge,
00:07:58.551 --> 00:08:04.554
skill sets, and insights that align with the person you are becoming,
00:08:05.297 --> 00:08:10.179
the person that you want to prioritize as your future self, right?
00:08:11.415 --> 00:08:18.406
And the non-negotiable part of this equation is a commitment to put what you
00:08:18.406 --> 00:08:21.484
learn into action immediately.
00:08:21.751 --> 00:08:26.484
You know, faith without works, faith without action is dead.
00:08:26.611 --> 00:08:30.904
You have to do this. You have to take action.
00:08:31.942 --> 00:08:37.046
And, you know, really, you will be truly astonished at what you can pull off
00:08:37.046 --> 00:08:38.248
when you put your mind to it.
00:08:39.242 --> 00:08:42.666
Now, okay. Some of you might be thinking, well, how does this,
00:08:42.666 --> 00:08:44.896
you know, kind of connect to loving on empty?
00:08:45.554 --> 00:08:50.999
How does this connect to loving on empty, Collie? Well, it's very simple.
00:08:51.606 --> 00:08:59.585
Loving on empty is what happens when your brain tank is empty of your own value.
00:09:00.543 --> 00:09:06.456
It's what happens when you have surrendered your time and your sense of self,
00:09:07.112 --> 00:09:09.858
to the conspiracy of modern distraction.
00:09:11.121 --> 00:09:15.511
When you are empty inside, you look for someone, right? A partner,
00:09:15.511 --> 00:09:17.599
a client, an audience to fill you up.
00:09:18.798 --> 00:09:22.437
When that person fails to meet your unrealistic expectations,
00:09:23.069 --> 00:09:31.153
you feel mystified. Like, you know, maybe you're waiting for this call that's not happening.
00:09:31.865 --> 00:09:38.813
But when you fill your own brain tank with real knowledge and real skills and real self-worth,
00:09:39.771 --> 00:09:44.588
you stop being needy you stop being a needy vessel begging to be filled,
00:09:45.303 --> 00:09:53.561
you become a powerful overflowing spring of value and you stop needing people
00:09:53.561 --> 00:09:56.120
other people to validate you,
00:09:57.134 --> 00:10:02.591
and you start to know your worth regardless of whether or not these people get
00:10:02.591 --> 00:10:04.622
back to you whether, you know.
00:10:06.050 --> 00:10:08.627
The promises are fulfilled or not.
00:10:09.629 --> 00:10:16.487
So let's do it. Let's commit to being masters of our own success arcs,
00:10:17.248 --> 00:10:19.710
not the engineers of our own demise.
00:10:20.397 --> 00:10:22.800
Come on, fill that brain tank.
00:10:23.775 --> 00:10:27.897
Yeah, fill your brain tank. Put it into action. Take action.
00:10:28.629 --> 00:10:30.447
And this is my call to you today.
00:10:31.417 --> 00:10:41.061
Take one step just one step one step to fill your tank right now and be so so
00:10:41.061 --> 00:10:42.709
gentle with yourself this week,
00:10:43.719 --> 00:10:49.251
we're all navigating a lot you're navigating a lot so please be gentle with
00:10:49.251 --> 00:10:58.357
yourself and until next time love and soul hugs to all of you bye for now.