النص الكامل لحلقة Dicey Bastards Ep.07: Hoe Down

stand by that we 60 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:09.600 got there, you guys. Those two made their way up to the from 61 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:13.319 the cellar into the bar and brothel provided they would beyond their best behavior, 62 00:05:13.600 --> 00:05:18.839 whereupon Stan and Joriser came down and began the interview process. After several classy, 63 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:25.319 classy acts that they all rejected, they eventually met Cabert the expeding, 64 00:05:25.399 --> 00:05:28.759 the only centaur of the group who actually seems like and the only person actually 65 00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:32.040 seems like to know what the fuck they're doing. Just to test his new 66 00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:39.040 potential team, Stan ordered a little test, a little test where all the 67 00:05:39.079 --> 00:05:43.959 prostitutes of the bar started getting in position, and after the horrors assemble, 68 00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:46.920 the horrors did assemble, which is where we left off, about to roll 69 00:05:46.959 --> 00:05:49.600 initiatives. I just realized, I noticed is going to be a fight, 70 00:05:49.720 --> 00:05:56.920 but you'd be forgiven for thinking it might be something else. That's a very 71 00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:06.759 goot. What positions soft pants? I assumed we would get a ruin? 72 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.439 All right? The turn order is up. All right. Moove gets a 73 00:06:10.480 --> 00:06:15.199 seven collought your all day nine. Cabert gets a twenty Stand and Deliver got 74 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:20.480 sixteen Georsa. The Sorcerer rolled eleven. All right. First up, Cabert, 75 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:26.519 Uh to your left or a shirtless young man named too much Ted is 76 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:30.040 coming at you with a bulge in his pants to your rights green left, 77 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:32.800 Rosy Cheeks is moving in a position holly down onto the side, is moving 78 00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:36.279 in on Moog, and Molly is moving in on Jeorceer or the Sorcerer. 79 00:06:36.279 --> 00:06:39.399 You were the only one standing out in the open. What would I to 80 00:06:39.439 --> 00:06:45.040 do? I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and uh try and resolve this peacefully 81 00:06:45.560 --> 00:06:48.800 as much as I can. I'm gonna open with a sleep spell. Okay. 82 00:06:49.319 --> 00:06:53.720 I thought using it would roll the five D eight. Apparently it did 83 00:06:53.759 --> 00:06:58.480 not. There we go, Okay, so six point I if I can, 84 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:01.920 I would like to start with the closest too much Ted, assuming I 85 00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:05.800 can put him to sleep? You can? He drops? Okay? Do 86 00:07:05.879 --> 00:07:10.680 I have enough hit points left over to put another person to sleep? You 87 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:14.680 do not? Okay, that still feels like too much Ted falls down with 88 00:07:14.800 --> 00:07:20.360 an impressive erection sticking up. Apparently not enough Ted even at half Ted. 89 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:27.120 It's like Jorcer is like, oh my, so okay, I will move 90 00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:32.360 over to Ted for my for some of my movements. Okay, that is 91 00:07:32.360 --> 00:07:36.560 where I will leave things off. Fantastic, all right? Next up is 92 00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:41.279 Stan Dandy liver stand you're in the middle of a scrum. I'll say sorry, 93 00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:44.439 Joe Sorah. Oh yeah, I probably could have told you this was 94 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:46.480 going to happen, but I'll be blunt. I forgot I arranged it, 95 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:56.519 and Stan will jump onto the butt echona. Today's Daniel. Give me an 96 00:07:56.519 --> 00:08:00.560 acrobatics roll, mister dandy Liver, just to see how well you jump up 97 00:08:00.600 --> 00:08:03.439 on that bar. Yeah, this goes twenty two for a sprial. Fuck 98 00:08:03.480 --> 00:08:07.279 you kind of flip up there and look pretty good. All right? Is 99 00:08:07.319 --> 00:08:09.839 there a chandelier? You know what? No, don't, that's that Standy's 100 00:08:09.879 --> 00:08:16.639 gonna jump and grab onto the chandelier. Okay, you are hanging and swing 101 00:08:16.680 --> 00:08:20.920 by a chandelier. Ha ha, Thank fuck. There was a chandelier here 102 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:26.879 that was mostly instinct. Yes, in the old picture there was a low 103 00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:30.279 hanging chandelier, and thanks to all the renovations, it's actually bolted in. 104 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:33.759 That's all I'm gonna do. Is everyone having fun? Try not to die? 105 00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:39.879 Hah? All right, two squares to my right. Is that one 106 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:46.879 of the whores? Yes, that is Molly. Molly. Is she looking 107 00:08:46.240 --> 00:08:54.840 hostile? Uh? Mischievous? She's she is advancing on you, and her 108 00:08:56.639 --> 00:08:58.320 her cleavage is like in such a way that just a little bit of exertion, 109 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:03.440 and here comes the distraction. Oh all right, I know just what 110 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:07.759 to do. I shall, I shall whisper to her, dissonantally. Okay, 111 00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.879 dissonant whispers. She gets a saving through correct Yes, what what is 112 00:09:13.879 --> 00:09:16.679 the save there? It is a wisdom saved, got it? Horse, 113 00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:20.519 won't have a lot of a little bit of wisdom, not much in intelligence, 114 00:09:22.360 --> 00:09:28.799 weather horse. Sorry, I built them like they've got wisdom. They've 115 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:33.960 got charismaself for college. You don't know. Yeah, starting to feel a 116 00:09:33.039 --> 00:09:39.279 little judgmental. This is okay, listen, I'm not saying high class. 117 00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:45.080 I'm not saying you guys, this is fantasy. Prostitutes on the worst end 118 00:09:45.120 --> 00:09:48.360 of town. Like they're not good prostitutes that they work in the worst end 119 00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:52.919 of town. Now

the bar is getting better. Long story short, they 120 00:09:52.919 --> 00:09:54.399 failed the saving throw. They take ten days. If listen is out there, 121 00:09:54.559 --> 00:09:58.720 stands gonna put all these people fruit for college. Okay, that's that's 122 00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:03.679 the of the gay. Don't worry, no angry comments, please. Okay. 123 00:10:03.159 --> 00:10:07.080 She now does the res this and whispers come with anything else like any 124 00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:11.039 other. Actually runs as far as away from me as she can. Okay, 125 00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:16.120 on her turn, got it? Quite wise as a react. How 126 00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:20.080 do we know if that's the spell as a reaction passing a different wisdom check? 127 00:10:20.519 --> 00:10:24.960 Got it all right, So she goes to the other side of the 128 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:28.759 bar. Next up is unless you have something, you have movement and a 129 00:10:28.759 --> 00:10:31.399 bonus action left, anything you want to do. See, these are these 130 00:10:31.399 --> 00:10:35.320 guys behind the bar. They are Trudy good Night and willdie Pete Season Adventures 131 00:10:35.320 --> 00:10:37.279 and the ones who are keeping the bar rolling at the moment. They are 132 00:10:37.320 --> 00:10:41.720 not enlitched, not engaged. Okay, cool, I'm gonna hop over the 133 00:10:41.759 --> 00:10:46.399 bar and hang with them. Uh, Claudia, you're up, actually, 134 00:10:46.440 --> 00:10:48.200 George gona good A quick athletics role. You are trying to vault a bar 135 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:56.360 in rows all come on, dick splinters, come on, Dix splinters, 136 00:10:56.879 --> 00:11:01.679 roll along the bar like dumb de luise. Yeah, tries flying, slide 137 00:11:01.720 --> 00:11:05.559 and like just skids to a stop halfway across and has to like wobble flop. 138 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:11.080 There's a dexterity role. Sorry, no, that's perfectly fine. That's 139 00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:15.679 that's it's acrobatics as what I was looking for, or athletics your your call. 140 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.960 Uh, that's the same role unless you're unless you're skilled and acrobatics. 141 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:22.679 It's the same role, so a ten perfectly average. It didn't look good. 142 00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:26.120 You kind of clipped your heel a little bit like oh, he kind 143 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:30.240 of rolled over more than actually vaulted. But you're you're safe and secure with 144 00:11:30.279 --> 00:11:35.960 no damage behind the bar. Oh okay, Claudia, what's up? So 145 00:11:37.080 --> 00:11:41.080 she's facing down Rosy Cheeks? Is that correct? Well you were? You 146 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:43.919 were kind of yes, Rosie Cheek is moving up on you. Yes, 147 00:11:45.960 --> 00:11:48.360 okay, all right, So she will say, listen, I don't want 148 00:11:48.360 --> 00:11:52.519 to fight you. I'm an ally. I support your wares what you're trying 149 00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:56.679 to do here. I believe you should be practicing your business in the safety 150 00:11:56.799 --> 00:12:01.200 of you know, protection, and don't listen to her Rosie fuck her up. 151 00:12:03.399 --> 00:12:05.559 I waiting for her to like stab her midway. Are you still in 152 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:09.639 the air? Did you land? Did you swing from the chandelier? Are 153 00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:15.639 you just hanging from the middle? I'm still hanging okay, got it? 154 00:12:15.720 --> 00:12:20.240 Okay, man, But I will slap you if you get near my koala, 155 00:12:20.519 --> 00:12:24.879 which is a bear and not a marsupial in this case, only in 156 00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:28.639 this case it's in a fancy room. It can be a bear must feel 157 00:12:28.679 --> 00:12:33.799 it's fine, give me a persuasion roll a ready or intimidation your call, 158 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:41.039 whichever you want to do. Oh, no, persuasion, noise. I 159 00:12:41.039 --> 00:12:43.720 would have told the fact that you were choking out a ball while you said 160 00:12:43.720 --> 00:12:50.399 that should have been an intimidation role. I think that would be an intimidation 161 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.879 Well, she's like, I gave her the option. She went with persuasion. 162 00:12:54.799 --> 00:13:00.000 It's really nice for somebody who's choking a bit. It's tough bear enough. 163 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:05.200 It's cute aggression. Okay, yeah, okay, I definitely have picturing 164 00:13:05.240 --> 00:13:11.120 the bear like still grabbing at her wrists, like fighting for its If I 165 00:13:11.120 --> 00:13:16.399 accidentally kill this bear, I'm gonna look for some helium really quick. Okay, 166 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:20.799 I need a floating bear balloon. Uh. Following it's now the tours 167 00:13:20.840 --> 00:13:26.320 turn. Following your advice to the letters, Daniel, Rosie Cheeks pivots around 168 00:13:26.360 --> 00:13:31.639 to this side between the bookshelf, waiting just a moment. Holly uses her 169 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:37.559 bonus action to disengage from Moog and engages with Claudia. At this point, 170 00:13:37.639 --> 00:13:46.120 Rosie Cheeks attacks Claudia with her dagger with advantage. Clodia was already paretically engaged 171 00:13:46.159 --> 00:13:50.759 with the bed well no aggressively, so plus four as a fifteen hit you, 172 00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:56.799 Claudia Arma class fourteen So yes, that hits uh, you take eleven 173 00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:03.440 piercing damage Claudia, okay with that includes a sneak attack. Then she's going 174 00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:07.000 to offhand stab you because she did not use her bonus action. This is 175 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:13.679 just a normal DT one and she misses. Okay, Holly, sorry dear. 176 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:18.320 And she's also going to try to stab you because she's engaged with you 177 00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:22.679 at the moment. So let's see. Uh fifteen, So at nineteen hits 178

00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:30.000 and she rolls a D four plus two for three more damage. This is 179 00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:37.039 what you get for patronizing my sex workers, you stupid bitches. I'm trying 180 00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:43.960 to support you. Okay. The dish whispers last for a turn. Correct. 181 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:48.600 Yeah, as far as I could tell, fantastic. This one is 182 00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:52.440 going to have movement between bonus action and action. Is going to come up 183 00:14:52.480 --> 00:14:56.200 here, use the last bit of their movement to kick too much ted to 184 00:14:56.240 --> 00:15:01.200 wake him up, get a position, and is going to cast poison spray 185 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:05.879 on stand andy liver. Except in this thing, it is not poison spray. 186 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:13.039 It is horse spray. Oh no, sou constitution. Yeah it is 187 00:15:13.200 --> 00:15:16.279 rated chlamydia. Uh, please give me a constitution, save DC eleven or 188 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:22.480 take four chlamydia damage smells like teen horse spirit. Yep, doesn't help. 189 00:15:22.519 --> 00:15:28.679 I've already definitely have chamydia. Okay, right, constitutions saving for her? 190 00:15:28.919 --> 00:15:31.759 Here we go. No, not you on. It's Cabert. Okay, 191 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:33.159 right if I said stand, that's my mistake. It was supposed to be 192 00:15:33.159 --> 00:15:39.360 Coibert Cabert Constitution saved as turning on me. Oh yeah, you did say. 193 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:41.679 I apologize for saying Stan. You're up in the air at the moment. 194 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:45.639 Okay, I'll take. Uh. Cobert gets a fourteen, then you 195 00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:46.840 take. I don't think it's is a half damage on or no damage on 196 00:15:46.840 --> 00:15:50.519 poison spray its because it's cantrip one of those. Uh. Probably it might 197 00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:54.279 be an all or nothing, but I'll double check. I'm looking at it 198 00:15:54.320 --> 00:15:56.960 right now. It doesn't say yeah constitution, It doesn't say anything about half, 199 00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:58.799 so it's an all or nothing thing. You're fine, okay, But 200 00:15:58.840 --> 00:16:03.399 they like this little spray comes out of her hand. You recognize it very 201 00:16:03.399 --> 00:16:07.120 easily, and uh, but does no good. Ted, I'm gonna use 202 00:16:07.159 --> 00:16:10.000 his he woke up, but that's the end of his turn because he I'm 203 00:16:10.039 --> 00:16:11.519 gonna say, you knocked them mouse. He gets nothing this turn. So 204 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:18.279 ted is conscious from being jostled, awake but immobile. This round move you're 205 00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:22.039 up well, lean casually into the bar, not really sure what's going on. 206 00:16:22.480 --> 00:16:26.000 Then he will look and he will notice his bucket that is just there 207 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.919 for some reason, and he will cast catapult on it and send it flying 208 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:34.399 into Uh, this person, the back of this person's head. Love it. 209 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:38.480 There be some damage. Give me a tack roll. She needs to 210 00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:44.120 do a deck saved DC eleven. Deck saved DC eleven, not a problem. 211 00:16:44.200 --> 00:16:48.279 Let me see Dexterity nine fails all right, slammed into the back of 212 00:16:48.279 --> 00:16:49.519 her head for seven. I haven't seen damage to the back of a skull. 213 00:16:49.639 --> 00:16:55.960 Huh, all right, that was casually break So I don't know what's 214 00:16:55.960 --> 00:17:00.519 going on. I throwing this fucking Buckhe hit the back of a skull like 215 00:17:00.519 --> 00:17:02.799 like, go back of her head, her knees, goat. She's not 216 00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:07.079 unconscious yet, but she is not looking bright for this world anymore. Actually, 217 00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:11.440 you might have knocked her a little bit dumber. So all right, 218 00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:18.599 we will just continue. Uh. Just he hasn't even bore a drake well 219 00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.440 well done. Trudy looks like she gives you a nod. Well done, 220 00:17:21.519 --> 00:17:26.079 Dari. All right, next up is the Trudy is out of a cub 221 00:17:26.200 --> 00:17:30.480 back on the top of you order. Cabert, oll right, Sorry, 222 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:36.079 I was going to tie up Tony, so that changes my plans slightly. 223 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:41.400 All right, Uh, Cabert is going to Misty step okay. Uh so 224 00:17:41.480 --> 00:17:47.119 that's my thirty feet hello, okay, and then uh, I didn't need 225 00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:51.599 to say that. But and then back where I was standing, I passed 226 00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:57.839 summon beast, and I will choose a copy of a bear because I'm not 227 00:17:57.839 --> 00:18:02.160 going to take time to pool things on way it can be. It could 228 00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:04.720 be a copy of a bear. Uh, since its job is to hold 229 00:18:04.759 --> 00:18:08.480 attention, I'll go with a If you really want to with him, you'd 230 00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:15.240 summon a horse. What'd you what'd you say you created? Uh? It's 231 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:18.359 technically you pick land, air or water for Okay, what you're saying. 232 00:18:18.400 --> 00:18:22.680 Yes, So it's it's a it's a bear, It's a it's a dirt 233 00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:26.960 bear. It's a dirt bear. Got a bear made of dirt and like 234 00:18:26.519 --> 00:18:30.680 sawdust? God? Yes, yes, uh? And it goes right after 235 00:18:30.799 --> 00:18:34.880 me. Fantastic what does this bear do? Uh? It is going to 236 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:42.160 multi attack. Okay, he gets too and then melee weapon your spell attack 237 00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:47.599 modifier to hit with a five foot reach. Okay, So I roll this 238 00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:52.400 like a you're a wisdom save just quick your wisdom yeah, or not save 239 00:18:52.559

--> 00:18:56.640 just your regular wisdom button. Yeah. Okay, So first roll, we'll 240 00:18:56.680 --> 00:19:03.759 go against this lady Molly. Yes, Molly. Uh, there we go 241 00:19:03.799 --> 00:19:08.240 twenty two. That definitely hits. Second roll seventeen they both hit Molly. 242 00:19:08.279 --> 00:19:11.599 How much damage? Oh no, no, so the second one went to 243 00:19:11.640 --> 00:19:15.000 Tony okay or too much? Ted got it? Okayeah, too much dead 244 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:21.640 hits them both all right. Then for damage it is one D eight plus 245 00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:26.839 four, So six to Molly got it, five to Ted got it? 246 00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:30.640 All right? Yeah, I think Kaber helps himself to a beer behind the 247 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:36.720 bar. Love it, Love it? Stan. You're watching this go down, 248 00:19:37.279 --> 00:19:41.640 h so so far you've seen a couple of people jumping up on Claudia. 249 00:19:41.640 --> 00:19:42.759 The only one who hasn't really impressed you so far has been her because 250 00:19:42.759 --> 00:19:47.039 she's held off. But you watch one person fall asleep, create a bear 251 00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:51.200 till a port around George was cast some spells. The move just beat the 252 00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:55.720 bitch with a bucket. It was horrible. It was Yeah, so you're 253 00:19:55.759 --> 00:20:00.559 still hanging up there. Give me, give me just a straight This is 254 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:03.319 maybe athletics. This is just strength to see because now you're hanging up there 255 00:20:03.319 --> 00:20:07.599 for like six seconds and that's a long time for old man's before you fall 256 00:20:07.720 --> 00:20:12.920 to the ground and go prone. Uh, give me an acrobatics roll to 257 00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:21.960 see if not you pop your hip. That is it's not like you hit 258 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:26.000 the ground. That is much hotter than I remember it being. That hip 259 00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:33.720 went right down like one and fell into a padded bear ass, which is 260 00:20:33.759 --> 00:20:37.079 good. But I'm gonna ask you to take just one point of fall damage. 261 00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:41.039 But it is it's half your movement to stand back up and all your 262 00:20:41.079 --> 00:20:45.519 dignity to look everybody in the eyes. Everybody is focusing on the back. 263 00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:49.400 See if I have a repair hip spell. Both Trudy good Night and Willie 264 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:55.240 Pete start applauding, thank you, thank you. Okay, is there anything 265 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:56.880 you want to do? Uh? Because that was all just for my sake, 266 00:20:57.000 --> 00:21:00.400 my benefit. You're now down on the ground. You're a mid these 267 00:21:00.400 --> 00:21:03.359 people. You have half your movement left. You wid done. Possibly you'd 268 00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:07.000 think that an old man who had just full of from the ceiling wouldn't be 269 00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:10.880 in a position to cast botic inspiration. But you don't know, Standaniela. 270 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:14.440 That's exactly what he's gonna do. He's gonna cast bartic inspiration on too much. 271 00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:18.680 Ted's not Ted. I realized I didn't ask you to fight to bed 272 00:21:18.720 --> 00:21:22.720 today, and it might be something of a shock, but I think you're 273 00:21:22.759 --> 00:21:26.400 doing rava well. All right? Uh Ted feels good and his erection grows. 274 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:33.640 That's all I needed for fantastic. Okay, gorcery, you're up all 275 00:21:33.759 --> 00:21:40.079 right? Uh I think everybody could use a hand. So instead of a 276 00:21:40.880 --> 00:21:45.559 you know, attacking one person, I'm going to go for a universal crowd 277 00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:51.680 control spell. Okay, and yeah, I figure, what is the one 278 00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:56.279 thing Horace can't resist? So God, I'm going to cast a minor illusion 279 00:21:57.160 --> 00:22:03.480 over on the corner of the bar behind move Okay, a big giant dick 280 00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:11.960 and ball. Okay, okay. Uh so the spell goes off dick and 281 00:22:11.000 --> 00:22:15.200 balls without a doubt. That's what it does. Minor is also holding a 282 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:21.279 lot of money. I think you've misunderstood. Hey this, let me misunderstanding 283 00:22:21.319 --> 00:22:30.799 my own terms either standing. Bob calls comedy I'm going to add either persuasion 284 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:33.720 or performance role. You're called to see, how well, how how enticing 285 00:22:33.799 --> 00:22:37.640 this illusionary cock and balls happens to be performance? What is it? What 286 00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:41.200 is it? Dancing on the table? Performance or persuasion? You know it's 287 00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:42.759 like, yeah, it could be. It could be like, you know, 288 00:22:42.759 --> 00:22:45.839 like that little dancing baby from back in the oleomny pl days. I 289 00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:49.319 don't care. All right, I'm gonna go with persuasion because I'm proficient in 290 00:22:49.400 --> 00:22:52.920 that. Okay, fourteen persuasion. Okay, good to know. Okay, 291 00:22:55.640 --> 00:23:00.799 uh, Claudia, give me a Claudia, you see a dancing dick at 292 00:23:00.799 --> 00:23:03.440 the corner of the thing. You could go after it, or you could 293 00:23:03.440 --> 00:23:06.519 stay with the hores that are beating the shit out of you. Your call, 294 00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:10.279 eh, I've seen bigger. Well, yes, Moog was downstairs peeing 295 00:23:10.279 --> 00:23:15.200 earlier. Will the rosy cheeks person is distracted to your northwest? And Holly 296 00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:18.680 is yourself? No, wait, Holly's the one who got hit in the 297 00:23:18.720 --> 00:23:21.880 head with a bucket, right, Yes, she is barely standing. Yes, 298 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:30.319 okay, Claudia would like to grab Holly around the next she

has Kuala 299 00:23:30.359 --> 00:23:33.880 in one arm. I'm Kerala one arm. Holly in the other. Okay, 300 00:23:33.880 --> 00:23:37.480 so give me an attack roll. This would be an unarmed strike. 301 00:23:37.799 --> 00:23:45.960 Okay, twelve, I think no, Holly Doug Holly dodges it. Let's 302 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:52.079 see what else I got as a rogue. You can bonus action, disengage 303 00:23:52.119 --> 00:23:53.319 and get out of there. Oh wait a minute, hang on, hang 304 00:23:53.359 --> 00:23:56.920 on, Claudia, do you really want to have her in that headlock? 305 00:23:57.799 --> 00:24:02.000 I was gonna choke her as well. Like, okay, because you have 306 00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:04.720 a special skill that can add on to a role. Remember, yeah, 307 00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:08.160 I've got the cunning action. If you use that, then you will have 308 00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:15.079 Holly and ahead cutting action. Choko, bitch, yes you have that once 309 00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:21.279 you have that one special skill we talked about. Remember you even said I'll 310 00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:23.440 put it on my personal notes so you won't forget it. Did I? 311 00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:29.960 Now she is for good? Yeah, it's the bottom skill and your racial 312 00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:37.680 benefits racial benefit dumb? Is it the knowledge from past life? Yes? 313 00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:42.359 So I'm not your modifier. You can add a whatever role like I think 314 00:24:42.359 --> 00:24:45.720 it's twice a day because you have a plus two your modifier right now to 315 00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:52.559 your to your proficiency bonus. Okay, so so yes, all you need 316 00:24:52.559 --> 00:24:55.640 if you just use that, you will have Holly in a headlock if you'd 317 00:24:55.680 --> 00:25:00.160 like. All right, is fantastic. All right, you've got holl in 318 00:25:00.160 --> 00:25:04.400 a headlock, so give me an athletics or acrobatics roll see how well secured 319 00:25:04.359 --> 00:25:11.079 it? Because now now you guys are okay contested, So twenty twenty one. 320 00:25:11.079 --> 00:25:14.400 Okay, Now she's also going to roll one to try to get out 321 00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:17.640 of it. Twenty one, all right, roll off, do it again. 322 00:25:18.519 --> 00:25:22.680 So eight fourteen you had her on a headlock and she slips it. 323 00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:30.920 Sorry, prutty, fetch some mud. All right. You still have your 324 00:25:30.960 --> 00:25:34.359 bonus action left, all right. So she used your bonus action to disengage 325 00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:41.880 or off hand stab somebody. Well, dang, that seems like I see 326 00:25:41.119 --> 00:25:45.480 I lost a wrestling match. Oh well stab, yeah, she will, 327 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:51.000 she will absolutely stab. Just poor sportsmanship, all right? Then? Uh 328 00:25:51.559 --> 00:25:55.039 stabs? Okay, now natural twenty Okay, Holly goes down. It doesn't 329 00:25:55.079 --> 00:26:00.119 matter. Holly falls bleeding like a fountain from her throat. I try to 330 00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:07.519 help you, geez okay, okay, uh you're still standing there your call? 331 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:10.920 What do you want to do? You still have movement left, But 332 00:26:10.960 --> 00:26:12.480 if you move, Rosie gets a stab you. What if she just goes 333 00:26:12.519 --> 00:26:17.720 to the decaptaination. Well, she's acting. Unfortunately, she's out of actions 334 00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:22.319 right now. Nah, she's just gonna stand there like shaking her head at 335 00:26:22.319 --> 00:26:26.960 the corpse. Uh then that's the end of your turn. Uh, Rosie 336 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:30.119 says, all right, Stan, it's getting real. I think you learned 337 00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:33.200 everything you need to learn. Rosie runs down, pulls a good berry out 338 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:36.240 of her pouch and feeds it to Holly, who heals up and does not 339 00:26:36.359 --> 00:26:41.160 die. I was gonna hail Holly. I was also gonna heal HOLLI mooks 340 00:26:41.160 --> 00:26:48.599 the extra chance to kill horr. But but is she is she mad? 341 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:52.279 Though? Well she was. She was following her boss's orders. Like, 342 00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:56.000 Holly's just glad to not be dead. Uh, Rosie has like, So 343 00:26:56.160 --> 00:26:59.920 she used her movement and she moved down a few feet. Uh use her 344 00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:03.039 action to a bonus action to feed a Holly of think. And she she's 345 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:07.880 gone defensive in case someone tries to stab her. So she but she's she's 346 00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:10.839 imploring stance. She's like, I think I think your test is over. 347 00:27:10.960 --> 00:27:14.960 I think you got I think you see what they can do. Clap his 348 00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:18.480 hands. Well it's not your turn yet. I have two more horse. 349 00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:25.160 Oh no, we're gonna have to kill the This is what were gonna say. 350 00:27:25.279 --> 00:27:27.920 No, funk that, let's do this. Well, too much Ted 351 00:27:29.079 --> 00:27:32.319 gots mulled by a bear and he's got inspiration, so he is going to 352 00:27:32.400 --> 00:27:40.039 attack this this dirt bear. Let me see dirt bear. Oh, gibbie, 353 00:27:40.359 --> 00:27:41.160 I do want to know. I don't think it's gonna matter in the 354 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:45.160 long run, but I misunderstood how somemon beast works. I don't have no 355 00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:48.480 multy attack yet. Okay, but it was a good day. You had 356 00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:51.519 a good day, cat bear, and we'll learn we're all. These are 357 00:27:51.519 --> 00:27:55.599 growing lessons, like much too much Ted who rolled a natural twenty and instead 358 00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:59.759 of using a knife, he swings around and beats the bear of the back 359 00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:03.119 of the head with his erect penis and h b bla ba ba. Let's 360 00:28:03.119

--> 00:28:08.960 call this bludgeting damage with a natural twenty and it's engaged. So I think 361 00:28:10.000 --> 00:28:15.759 too much Ted is now my favorite NBC right, too much, No, 362 00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:25.400 he knows how to use it. So nine damage to the bear, Well, 363 00:28:25.440 --> 00:28:26.720 it's he gets an It was a natural twenty to get some more damage, 364 00:28:26.720 --> 00:28:30.720 so yeah, that's right. And because it's sneak attack, take away 365 00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:33.920 the second sneak attack, so it's nine to eleven twelve damage to the bear. 366 00:28:33.480 --> 00:28:37.319 Bear didn't see that. Well, hopefully I can call the bear off. 367 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:41.079 I mean, these things are sentient, so good luck. Also, 368 00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:44.480 is it is it actually a bear? Because I gave it a bear stats 369 00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:45.839 of thirty. I don't know how much any hit points your spell actually gives 370 00:28:45.839 --> 00:28:48.359 the bear. That's what I know. I I corrected the hit points and 371 00:28:48.400 --> 00:28:52.039 everything and has thirty hit points because it's a land true, the bear might 372 00:28:52.160 --> 00:28:57.119 want to leave really hit this point. Now it's Molly's turn to uh stab 373 00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:00.960 because she's also there and the bear still engage with him, so she also 374 00:29:00.000 --> 00:29:06.480 gets an attack twenty three also hits, and she also gets all the damage 375 00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:11.559 because boom, so total damage of another seven to the bear. Alrighty, 376 00:29:11.960 --> 00:29:15.440 so the bear just not beating over the head with a with a with a 377 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:18.720 Shirley like dick and stabbed. Can't tell you how glad I am I teleport 378 00:29:18.720 --> 00:29:22.160 it away from that, Yeah, exactly, because that's what was kinda He's 379 00:29:22.160 --> 00:29:26.079 gonna do this cool like the the the ken like backwards flying kick but with 380 00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.279 his penis on you move, you can say, Stan, you don't need 381 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:33.920 us. You just have too much ten here. Yeah, seriously, what 382 00:29:33.920 --> 00:29:38.599 what what the fuck are we doing? This move gets your turn? All 383 00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:44.359 right, Moogle cast catapult again? You know, Okay, that's the one 384 00:29:44.359 --> 00:29:49.400 who's on the ground like like sometimes you kick the bucket and sometimes bucket kicks 385 00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:55.720 you. Uh. She is a semi conscious thing. Just give me the 386 00:29:55.799 --> 00:30:02.400 damage just seven. Uh well, and not her back into unconsciousness. Moog, 387 00:30:02.960 --> 00:30:07.519 just for the fun reaction of it, does a twenty four hit you? 388 00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:12.400 Uh? Yes, all right, Trudy good night, reaches over it 389 00:30:12.440 --> 00:30:18.400 flicks you in the back of your eleven ears really really hard. Uh. 390 00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:23.519 She's gonna hit you with a hell of a flake thirteen points of damage to 391 00:30:23.559 --> 00:30:26.680 the back of your head. She's just a hole on dear it. Be 392 00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.640 nice, Mooga, being nice. Moog hasn't burned down bar yet, I 393 00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:34.200 said, be nice. Uh, Moog, you still have a bonus action 394 00:30:34.279 --> 00:30:38.359 in your movement, are you good? Yep? All right? Uh Cabert 395 00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:41.759 at the top of your order. You've seen some people calling for ceas of 396 00:30:41.799 --> 00:30:45.519 hostility. You see Moog inciting hostility, and you just saw a bear cock 397 00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:47.839 flog or excuse me, be a man cock flog of bear. What would 398 00:30:47.839 --> 00:30:49.440 you like to do? I will look to the person who seems to be 399 00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:56.319 in charge of this operation. Uha, Trudy, good night, Yes, 400 00:30:56.480 --> 00:31:03.799 reasonable and uh Cabert will cock an eyebrow. Should I keep attacking or should 401 00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:08.240 I heal the server? She kind of gives you the U the ladder like 402 00:31:08.279 --> 00:31:12.319 she slashes her throat with the like. Cut off the violence and start with 403 00:31:12.319 --> 00:31:15.160 the healing. Cun you're getting this like, We're done, all right? 404 00:31:15.640 --> 00:31:22.519 Uh, he will cast healing word on the uh downed. I can't remember 405 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:25.920 the name of everybody. I can't remember the name of the horse, but 406 00:31:26.039 --> 00:31:29.839 she gets eleven hit points back. All right, well, Holly the prostitute 407 00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:34.799 is feeling much better. Will kip his beer and cheers and enjoy it. 408 00:31:36.839 --> 00:31:44.039 Fantastic, Stanlan will just stop ploading. Well done, everybody. You equally 409 00:31:44.079 --> 00:31:49.640 impressed me with your cunning. He looks at Keba brutality. He looks at 410 00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:56.519 Mook creative cow it is. He looks at Josra and sheer fucking bloody mind 411 00:31:56.559 --> 00:32:00.480 in this with a knife. You will look at sex work is stand down, 412 00:32:00.720 --> 00:32:06.359 rits, well well done, Ted, very impressive. All right, 413 00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:13.279 he checks it looks and he's checking his wang over for bruises like better heel 414 00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:15.400 bites Andnight, I swear to God, I will set you out, my 415 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:19.640 son. All right, we are clearing the turn order. We are out 416 00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:23.400 of combat except for the fucking bear. Cow bet what happens to the bear? 417 00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:29.240 I'll just stop concentrating on the bear spell? Okay, good to know. 418 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:36.079 Georgia is still confused as to why his gambit did not work, so 419 00:32:36.599 --> 00:32:45.599 he's making the assumption that all these wares are actually the

lesbians giant penis with 420 00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:52.079 a giant illusory vagina. They've got the passive perception. Well, their passive 421 00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:54.359 perceptions were only an eleven, so noticing a bear, well like this one's 422 00:32:54.440 --> 00:32:58.279 dying, her best friend's dying. These were fighting a bear. Unfortunately, 423 00:32:59.240 --> 00:33:00.599 like as Night says, the wang was Now the thing is, the magic 424 00:33:00.599 --> 00:33:04.519 illusion is still going around, and they're kind of now they're gravitating towards it. 425 00:33:04.559 --> 00:33:06.319 Actually, as why I was bringing them down to this part of the 426 00:33:06.319 --> 00:33:08.799 map. Oh you deliberately put it in a mooga. I don't know. 427 00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:15.000 Yeah, all right, Stan will say, well, then everybody shows over 428 00:33:16.119 --> 00:33:20.119 around the shots. I think for a job well done, And then I 429 00:33:20.160 --> 00:33:24.039 think it's time to talk turkey. You want us to kill turkey. Maybe 430 00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:29.440 Trudy like bangs her she summons a warm ball, bangs on the floor. 431 00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:34.160 Tavern's clothes got a fuck away, And so all the people were standing outside. 432 00:33:35.079 --> 00:33:37.200 Jack Human still playing his bagpipes. Not you, Ted Man, so 433 00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:45.160 you work in Uh? Matt Demon wants to know if he's still supposed to 434 00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:47.279 be around for a more janitorial dude. He's like, what about Matt Demon? 435 00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:52.200 Do I do I still you need me to like clean up like with 436 00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:53.920 presidigitation. Be honest, it's Matt Demon. I forgot you were here, 437 00:33:53.960 --> 00:33:57.319 and that's not a good sign off. You go, I'll hang out with 438 00:33:57.400 --> 00:34:00.720 vard Affleck Well, fuck you too, guys. I'm gonna go hunt with 439 00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:05.880 and the rest of the people who never got a chance to ship let their 440 00:34:05.880 --> 00:34:09.719 glories shine, start to leave and go outside of the streets and mill back 441 00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:15.079 around looking at their shitty lives in the town of Galahad. Stand the floor 442 00:34:15.159 --> 00:34:19.239 is yours, address your team. We only have one life, old man 443 00:34:19.519 --> 00:34:22.480 get rolling all right, Drew, do you do you want to say anything 444 00:34:22.519 --> 00:34:23.639 up with cal Beert that He's like, he's just in on the team. 445 00:34:23.719 --> 00:34:27.960 Or are we. Yeah, he's he's here for the job. He's having 446 00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:32.519 a beer. He'll make more good beerries if needed. Yeah, he's pretty, 447 00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:37.320 he's pretty low key. All right. Do you let them know about 448 00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:38.800 your any of your affiliation. You always said he's an honest guy, so 449 00:34:39.199 --> 00:34:45.440 yeah, yeah, yeah, he's

very very upfront, right, but up 450 00:34:45.480 --> 00:34:47.679 front. All right? So Stan, you learn quickly that cow Beart is 451 00:34:47.719 --> 00:34:52.920 actually a father Brandon the mage father had he mentioned he wanted a guy on 452 00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:57.800 the team, and caw Bear happens to be that guy. Well, he 453 00:34:57.800 --> 00:35:00.679 doesn't work directly for him, but he is a kind of go between. 454 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.000 I will say to everybody else, I'd love to tell you that I'm in 455 00:35:04.119 --> 00:35:07.960 charge of this operation entirely in a practical sense, maybe, but we are 456 00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:15.400 being bankrolled by a rather dangerous and powerful crime family, of which Keibert here 457 00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:20.559 is the Eyes and Ears off. Now, I'm not really in contention with 458 00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:22.719 this fellow. He wants something, I want something. It happens to be 459 00:35:22.800 --> 00:35:28.519 the same thing he's asked for, a perhaps a little too generous a cut. 460 00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:32.599 But speaking of cut, we're going to a fire off land. We're 461 00:35:32.599 --> 00:35:37.519 going into the unknown. We're going to steal something rather spectacular, and we're 462 00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:43.199 going to do it with panache. And for you there will be a cut 463 00:35:43.840 --> 00:35:51.039 of at least check my Mathia Gibbee five thousand gold each. Does that appeal 464 00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:57.280 to you? Fellows and lady, consider me appealed. Also, it looks 465 00:35:57.280 --> 00:36:00.599 like you're being shut out of a giant bear. Yeah. I look at 466 00:36:00.639 --> 00:36:01.880 the exact same things, Like he's right between the cheeks, and I was 467 00:36:01.920 --> 00:36:06.719 like, I wanted to get to the high rand to make a speech, 468 00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:09.159 but I now realized I do look like a dingleberry on a turds us. 469 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:14.559 Okay, I'm going to move over here, stand on the bar. This 470 00:36:14.719 --> 00:36:16.559 is a little bit better. Yes, as I'm saying, there will be 471 00:36:16.599 --> 00:36:22.679 getting danger, there will be uncertainty. Dan, give me a dexter dirty 472 00:36:22.719 --> 00:36:27.800 saving throw because you did hurt your hip earlier really badly. Eighteen Okay you 473 00:36:27.960 --> 00:36:36.159 will, you're good, You're good. Uncertain But I run a type ship. 474 00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:38.639 Everything we get along the way, and we will have to scarage and 475 00:36:38.679 --> 00:36:44.920 we will have to be creative in our funding. Everything gets split evenly. 476 00:36:45.119 --> 00:36:49.519 Also, some goes to the crime bus. How do you think about these 477 00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:53.320 terms? Fellows? You seem competent I've known you for five minutes. I'm 478 00:36:53.360 --> 00:36:58.400 a little bit drunk. I think this is going to be fine. On 479 00:36:58.480 --> 00:37:00.800

behalf of Drew. You know, caberts in so he kind of he stops 480 00:37:00.840 --> 00:37:04.639 his hoo's a few times and kind of shrugs and whatever. I've known him 481 00:37:04.679 --> 00:37:09.519 the least amount of time, You psychotic looking elf man. How does suit 482 00:37:09.599 --> 00:37:14.920 you mook have nothing better to do? I mean, if mook sticks around 483 00:37:14.920 --> 00:37:17.920 town will probably just like burn down elf homes get old after a while, 484 00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:22.960 I can imagine we're gonna put that creative energy to a better use. You 485 00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:29.639 bead lady, Oh hi, I probably I thought you weren't talking to me, 486 00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:32.320 but I was gonna show up anyway. See anybody else choking a bear 487 00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:37.960 in here? Also speaking of Claudie to my favorite, give me a quick 488 00:37:37.960 --> 00:37:45.840 perception check. Okay, ten, that bear is dead. You have you 489 00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:50.519 have held him without oxygen for the last I mean combat only last a few 490 00:37:50.559 --> 00:37:52.800 rounds on like twelve seconds, but before that about fifteen minutes of real life. 491 00:37:53.000 --> 00:37:57.079 Just he hasn't breathed. So that is a dead bear that you were 492 00:37:57.119 --> 00:38:01.480 just now lugging around. Obviously, she's still going to keep it Okay, 493 00:38:01.519 --> 00:38:05.920 that's why we could probably stuff it. Oddly enough, it never transformed back, 494 00:38:06.199 --> 00:38:08.000 yes, so never transformed back into the man he claimed to have been. 495 00:38:08.079 --> 00:38:10.360 So he could have been a talking bear, could have been a man. 496 00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:13.559 But he's now your corpse. Do with it as you see fit. 497 00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:19.519 He see now he's permanently gone out for cigarettes. The adventure has barely begun, 498 00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:24.320 and you've already got yourself a free dead bear. I like that. 499 00:38:24.480 --> 00:38:31.639 Apparently do we get to split that even it's been a long day, Jocera. 500 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:35.800 Let's not complicate things. Let the lady have a bear corpse. Hey, 501 00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:40.880 I'll give you the people. Oh well, that's between that's between the 502 00:38:40.920 --> 00:38:45.840 two you normally under this roof, that sort of thing is negotiated in coin. 503 00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:51.440 But we'll find you your own dead bear, Jocera. Don't you worry. 504 00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:54.480 And speaking of which, Joecera, I understand that do you have a 505 00:38:54.519 --> 00:38:59.880 stake in this mission, perhaps a little bit more intimate than the rest of 506 00:39:00.079 --> 00:39:02.280 VIZ. Yeah, well, we don't need to go into that publicly. 507 00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:07.039 I'm sure you you'll handle that if you want to. I don't care, 508 00:39:08.840 --> 00:39:15.079 As you know, I'm a private man. Well, what

can I say? 509 00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:19.239 You handled yourself extremely well, not you, Joseph, That's not what 510 00:39:19.280 --> 00:39:22.920 I mean. Talk to everybody else. Now, Shall I do it again? 511 00:39:23.480 --> 00:39:28.519 Maybe later? I think maybe we have a couple of drinks set off 512 00:39:28.519 --> 00:39:31.920 first thing tomorrow, and I'd love to tell you there are contracts involved in 513 00:39:31.960 --> 00:39:35.599 this sort of thing, but uh, that seems to be of a different 514 00:39:35.639 --> 00:39:38.000 time. I believe if you well, the funny thing is okay, so 515 00:39:38.199 --> 00:39:40.480 happy? Has everybody agreed to go on it? Let me step over your 516 00:39:40.519 --> 00:39:44.880 this stand, but has everybody agreed to go on this adventure? Yes? 517 00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:50.639 Yep, count me in Cabera did so. The moment you all agreed to 518 00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:54.400 it, a brand appears on your ar, on your forearm, a burning 519 00:39:54.920 --> 00:39:59.960 brand that's like an eye with a arcane symbol above it, right in the 520 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:01.960 middle, on the underside of each of your forearms, like sizzles into place. 521 00:40:02.400 --> 00:40:06.599 Holy shit, I'm on fire again. Nobody panic. Just think of 522 00:40:06.639 --> 00:40:09.880 this as a cool tattoo you got on a bachelor party that you can't quite 523 00:40:09.920 --> 00:40:17.960 remember. That's just our benefact, this way of keeping an eye on things, 524 00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:22.559 making sure we're safe, that sort of thing. And they match. 525 00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:28.360 We're like a cool gang. Yeah, that's true. Part of me, 526 00:40:28.400 --> 00:40:30.000 dear, are you actually going to tell them where they're going, what they're 527 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:32.639 what they're stealing. I mean, the holes are pretty much heard everything, 528 00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:37.400 so no reason to hide in front of I figured I had loved them up 529 00:40:37.400 --> 00:40:40.679 a little first with some booze, But now that they've got the old tattoo, 530 00:40:42.440 --> 00:40:45.440 I suppose there's no sense keeping any secrets. Gibb me, where are 531 00:40:45.440 --> 00:40:53.119 we going again? I did not, Oh, You're gonna make me go 532 00:40:53.119 --> 00:40:55.480 to my notes. I'm not gonna go to my notes because I fucking have 533 00:40:55.559 --> 00:41:00.920 any son of a bitch. See God damn it now. I I even 534 00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:02.800 wrote all the shit down, and of course I don't have those notes in 535 00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:06.760 front me because I thought my buddy Stan was going to do a good job. 536 00:41:06.800 --> 00:41:07.559 We got to edit this part out. Now I'm leaving this thing. 537 00:41:07.639 --> 00:41:15.800 This is fun. We're going to the isle of filling the Blank to steal 538 00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:22.039 the mcguffin of filling the blank that was the tooth of man in time for 539 00:41:22.119 --> 00:41:30.159 the Festival of Heroes. Yes, uh, Georgia, Yes, indeed, 540 00:41:30.199 --> 00:41:34.400 where the fuck did I put all those thing? Let me tell you after 541 00:41:34.400 --> 00:41:38.199 we pull this one off. It's not just gonna be a casual smashing grab. 542 00:41:39.360 --> 00:41:43.079 I didn't pick you guys just because you were the best fighters in the 543 00:41:43.159 --> 00:41:45.480 room. I could have got Matt Demon for that. I mean, he's 544 00:41:45.519 --> 00:41:49.320 high class, very first le Well, so your horse didn't do too badly. 545 00:41:49.400 --> 00:41:51.760 You look around, You're like, man, these these horses are actually 546 00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:54.079 I already have an army of sex worker assassins. Look at Ted's cock. 547 00:41:55.480 --> 00:42:02.559 That's practically a warhammer. But we're not just hitting for the muscle. I'd 548 00:42:02.559 --> 00:42:08.440 look at you and I see personality. And that's important because my friends, 549 00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:14.559 we're gonna make some stories in our wake. All right, you were. 550 00:42:14.880 --> 00:42:17.800 He fills you into the fact that he was contacted by a fire Jennazi named 551 00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:22.800 Jovann Heidelreich, who offered him on that behalf of his benefactor of Ladies Lajena 552 00:42:23.400 --> 00:42:28.239 to go to the island nation far the south of Straktam, to the land 553 00:42:28.239 --> 00:42:31.079 of Blago Gulch. You will. You will then locate the villa of Ivan 554 00:42:31.159 --> 00:42:36.840 von urslak infiltrate his villa and steal the tooth of Tiamat and return it to 555 00:42:36.920 --> 00:42:43.880 Ladies Lajna deeper inside of Stractum. Before the Festival of Heroes, which is 556 00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:47.480 on the winter so I repeat what the voice in my head just said. 557 00:42:47.480 --> 00:42:52.000 Okay, so we go somewhere and steal teach. Basically, yes, you 558 00:42:52.119 --> 00:42:59.679 look like a toast stealing man to name Moog does have some elk teeth in 559 00:42:59.719 --> 00:43:01.559 pocket. I'm just I'm just curious. The mood's just chilling against the bar 560 00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:06.039 the whole time, next to the whores and the illusory dick. Yeah, 561 00:43:06.199 --> 00:43:08.599 move not care, Okay, fair enough and listen and listen. It looks 562 00:43:08.599 --> 00:43:15.719 like an elf dick georger. That's your call. No, not this time. 563 00:43:15.800 --> 00:43:22.920 I was unaware of that sensitivity. It could be. I don't know. 564 00:43:22.880 --> 00:43:27.119 This seems like something you would have to get right deep into the handbooks 565 00:43:27.119 --> 00:43:34.239 for. I've looked. There's no elf dick pictures. Rosie comes over. 566 00:43:34.320 --> 00:43:37.639 She's like, Boss, do you guys need any kind of special going way 567 00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:39.119 party? Do I gotta call on some more girls and guys before you guys 568 00:43:39.159 -->

00:43:43.960 head out tomorrow? Is this a group thing that you're doing? What's going 569 00:43:44.000 --> 00:43:46.159 on? What do you need now? Uh? Tonight? Maybe last night? 570 00:43:46.599 --> 00:43:52.440 Not on the cold hard road for a little while. So I say, 571 00:43:53.000 --> 00:43:58.400 let's potty. Uh. Trudy stomps her food a few times. She's 572 00:43:58.400 --> 00:44:00.880 like, I agree now what you went down with the bar and you are 573 00:44:00.960 --> 00:44:04.880 leaving it in my care during while you're gone, of course, trade I 574 00:44:04.880 --> 00:44:08.519 trust you implicitly. Willie Pete just fingers what's left of his hat like he 575 00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:10.920 has half a beerd because he was chopped off right beneath the chin, and 576 00:44:12.519 --> 00:44:19.239 Willy fuck you. I blew up the guy who was the worshiper of to 577 00:44:19.480 --> 00:44:21.920 Ragged. Come on, man, I know, but I feel like we 578 00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:24.280 could have just uched him gently after the door. He wasn't very threatening. 579 00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:29.000 He was just a crazy man. It seemed like an overreaction, but well 580 00:44:29.039 --> 00:44:31.880 done. He didn't kill Leoper even though he drip all over their rug. 581 00:44:31.960 --> 00:44:37.840 True, that is true. Yeah, we don't have to incinerate people just 582 00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:43.159 because they're annoying. But you know, I don't see any how I'm done. 583 00:44:43.320 --> 00:44:47.840 Who gives a ship shots? True? These shots? Trudy good Nights 584 00:44:47.880 --> 00:44:52.360 begins lining up shot after shot, off the shot. As the evening rolls 585 00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:54.559 on, Rosy Cheeks calls in more and more of the the working class of 586 00:44:54.599 --> 00:45:01.000 the prostitutes of the Along two Tooth. I swear every single one of you 587 00:45:01.119 --> 00:45:06.440 for a college soon as I get back before you realize it. It is 588 00:45:06.599 --> 00:45:08.519 an R and B video up in the son of a Bitch, with every 589 00:45:08.559 --> 00:45:10.960 piece of flesh that could be, would be, never should be, and 590 00:45:12.039 --> 00:45:15.159 can be on display, up for grabs and up for rent for the remainder 591 00:45:15.199 --> 00:45:19.239 of the nights. So before we sign off for this thing, does anybody 592 00:45:19.320 --> 00:45:21.760 have anything they want to They want to let the audience or me know that 593 00:45:21.800 --> 00:45:29.440 their character is doing. Jorger misses his wife. Uh. As the knight 594 00:45:29.519 --> 00:45:37.559 progresses to and he drinks a lot, Jorseer will cast another minor illusion on 595 00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:43.480 the bar, this time of his wife's disembodied head, and he'll jack off 596 00:45:43.519 --> 00:45:50.320 to it. Fair enough, uh for those who Okay, that's actually brings 597 00:45:50.360 --> 00:45:53.480 me a very good point. Everybody. I assume you do this in public 598 00:45:53.519 --> 00:45:59.239 and you don't care who's standing around. I don't even know it's fair enough. 599 00:46:00.159 --> 00:46:01.039 Most of the team will be up near the bar during that time, 600 00:46:01.039 --> 00:46:06.719 So like everybody to give me a perception check, and uh, let me 601 00:46:06.800 --> 00:46:09.280 know who's standing near Georser while he is pleasuring himself to a los ary version 602 00:46:09.320 --> 00:46:16.519 of his wife's decapitated head. Mu gets a seventeen all right, moog Uh, 603 00:46:16.599 --> 00:46:21.199 I'm gonta say that because you're while you're watching him crank it, and 604 00:46:21.280 --> 00:46:24.760 for some reason you can't look away. Uh, you notice that two things. 605 00:46:25.280 --> 00:46:30.159 One, he has some kind of weird device strapped around the base of 606 00:46:30.199 --> 00:46:32.679 his wang, going around the balls around the base of the wang. Uh. 607 00:46:32.719 --> 00:46:36.679 It's it's studded with gems. It's got some magic on it. And 608 00:46:36.719 --> 00:46:39.519 the magic in the back of your hand is vibrating. The closer you get 609 00:46:39.599 --> 00:46:49.440 to Jorcerer Jorser, the closer moo Jeoryser, the closer that Moog gets to 610 00:46:49.519 --> 00:46:52.800 you, the more the thing around the base of your of your man dangle 611 00:46:52.920 --> 00:47:01.280 starts to vibrate. Does that make me go off prematurely depressed? His buddy 612 00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:07.079 heads? Uh? So everybody else rolled like, yeah, so everybody everybody 613 00:47:07.559 --> 00:47:12.559 sees this, Claudia, you definitely see the the the uh, the choker 614 00:47:12.679 --> 00:47:15.639 around the choker. Uh, that is magical. Blah blah blah. Let 615 00:47:15.639 --> 00:47:20.199 me see Stan, you already know it's there. I'm assumed cad Beert either 616 00:47:20.199 --> 00:47:22.280 sees it or doesn't care. Since he's not here, maybe he gets to 617 00:47:22.400 --> 00:47:28.639 not see this this horror, So lucky for him. Move we've seen cursed 618 00:47:28.679 --> 00:47:32.119 items before. This might be most cursed. Yes, And like I said, 619 00:47:32.159 --> 00:47:36.519 the gem that's in the back of your hand moved vibrates the closer you're 620 00:47:36.599 --> 00:47:39.599 near it, So we'll make it a point to not get closer. Fair 621 00:47:39.719 --> 00:47:45.519 enough good today, I mean stands this oldest guy right and then just quickly 622 00:47:45.559 --> 00:47:52.039 dismisses it is something he doesn't want to think about right now. Uh So 623 00:47:52.320 --> 00:47:55.400 throughout the night there's some more drinking and some more camaraderie. The Horrse apologize 624 00:47:55.440 --> 00:47:59.920 for stabbing you, Claudia. They were following orders. They know that's not 625 00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:01.320 it's necess a good excuse, but you know they need the money and they 626 00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:05.639 need to get through a they need to get exactly you know, they're they're

627 00:48:05.679 --> 00:48:08.559 all working on their marine biology degree, you know. And uh you know 628 00:48:08.639 --> 00:48:12.119 they apologized that, you know, they just had to do what they had 629 00:48:12.119 --> 00:48:17.519 to do. Hopefully you accept their apology. Yeah, it's fine whatever. 630 00:48:21.880 --> 00:48:25.039 Uh Willie Peek still gives you some side eye a little bit. Uh, 631 00:48:25.119 --> 00:48:29.119 he's a is there anything you want to do with him? Are you just 632 00:48:29.119 --> 00:48:32.239 going to steer clear? No? No, well she's interested in the other 633 00:48:32.280 --> 00:48:36.400 half of his beard, but she'll, you know, she'll just pile that 634 00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:39.599 away for a different different day. She is a little distracted by the jewels 635 00:48:39.639 --> 00:48:45.239 around, but she's also following filing that way for it, just Georcer Stanley 636 00:48:45.320 --> 00:48:50.719 jewels. Yeah, I'm just putting into the gem in the back of Georger's 637 00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:57.559 hand is for some reason connected to Georcier's cockering. Good to know, stan 638 00:48:57.679 --> 00:49:00.360 you have a hell of a team, Standley Ah voice, I thought I 639 00:49:00.519 --> 00:49:08.159 drunk you out of you. No, I'm always watching this is this is 640 00:49:08.199 --> 00:49:10.800 a crew you assemble and I will give you that for the rest of you. 641 00:49:10.880 --> 00:49:16.039 Are you see stand talking to himself, just full on having a conversation 642 00:49:16.199 --> 00:49:19.639 with no one there. I don't know what to tell your voice. Sometimes 643 00:49:19.679 --> 00:49:22.280 I just get a good feeling about people. I mean, I was kind 644 00:49:22.280 --> 00:49:27.760 of indifferent for the Keburt, but until I realized he's definitely the guy that 645 00:49:27.800 --> 00:49:31.320 Brandon said, and if Brandon thinks he's up to the task, then he's 646 00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:36.840 probably a lot more capable than he seems, and he have a free I 647 00:49:36.880 --> 00:49:39.840 thought that justin time guy was not order the jack human guy was. I 648 00:49:39.880 --> 00:49:44.440 feel like they were both sort of pricks, and I don't want to bear 649 00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:50.400 out. I felt like they were sort of biting my style. And yeah, 650 00:49:50.599 --> 00:49:52.239 I could see you a little bit of overlap there. Know how to 651 00:49:52.320 --> 00:49:58.320 feel about but everybody knows how I feel about bad. Yes, thank yet 652 00:49:58.360 --> 00:50:02.280 you cast inspiration when you choose. I can't help my robotic heritage, but 653 00:50:02.360 --> 00:50:08.400 I can now keep my prejudices alive. And well, so you've got a 654 00:50:08.559 --> 00:50:15.559 you've got a horse cock, a pervert, a bear woman, and a 655 00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:19.360 bucket chucker. Yeah, I mean goda mind. That man's cool under the 656 00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:22.280 pressure. He sees a problem, he froze

a fucking I'm not saying this 657 00:50:22.320 --> 00:50:23.840 is a step up from your last crew, because it clearly is not. 658 00:50:24.039 --> 00:50:30.519 But this is our last this is our last chance, Daniel, What can 659 00:50:30.559 --> 00:50:32.960 I tell you? You know how I feel about the non powerful chaps, 660 00:50:32.960 --> 00:50:37.880 and all of these people look like they come from the gutter, And from 661 00:50:37.920 --> 00:50:42.559 the gutter that's where your best place to see the stars. Again, you 662 00:50:42.599 --> 00:50:45.239 all see he's giving a speech, the whole Star's bit to no one. 663 00:50:45.519 --> 00:50:50.199 He is just talking to that so pretty good, which I wasn't just mumbling 664 00:50:50.199 --> 00:50:53.000 that into my tankard right now? Did anyone hear my fucking speech? I 665 00:50:53.199 --> 00:51:02.519 just made into this pool of vit no move busy watching rich sweaty sorcerer jack 666 00:51:02.599 --> 00:51:07.199 Off. Yeah, that might be might command your attention a little more. 667 00:51:07.840 --> 00:51:12.480 Yeah, makes sense, I too was preoccupied deorcer. Is there anything you 668 00:51:12.599 --> 00:51:15.239 like to like add about your wife's image? Do you want to send her 669 00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:16.119 a message before you go or anything? Are you good? I mean? 670 00:51:16.239 --> 00:51:22.039 Or is this the message? It's not like a telepathy spell. There's no 671 00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:28.079 message sending that I mean. No, I guess uh. When I finally 672 00:51:29.239 --> 00:51:34.519 spray it, ah, you know, it dissolves the illusion, okay, 673 00:51:35.119 --> 00:51:39.559 which you know it's satisfying in itself. Is that like peeing on a year 674 00:51:39.599 --> 00:51:46.039 an okay corde, but with seamen and the illusion of your wife's head. 675 00:51:46.920 --> 00:51:54.360 I thought you like clim acting while dissolving my wife's head. That's right, 676 00:51:54.400 --> 00:51:58.159 ladies and genter professional authors, every one of us. And this is the 677 00:51:58.239 --> 00:52:01.000 kind of quality you could come to a hippy. I tried to leave that 678 00:52:01.079 --> 00:52:06.320 on an inspirational speech. I did I know. I was the foolish one. 679 00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:08.639 I was vamping and filling time, and I uh, you know everybody's 680 00:52:08.679 --> 00:52:14.679 gonna stop listening to this podcast. Go no, my fucking cout No. 681 00:52:14.840 --> 00:52:16.679 They heard the prequels. You know, our diehard. You never know this 682 00:52:16.760 --> 00:52:20.800 might be a new wave of Dungeons and Dragons with a lot more you know 683 00:52:20.960 --> 00:52:24.599 so joking, so you know this is it doesn't matter, you know why 684 00:52:24.679 --> 00:52:29.039 because we've been the Dicey Passards and you all have been awesome. So on 685 00:52:29.159 --> 00:52:32.599 by half of Drew Hayes, Robert Bevan, Steve Weather, Emily Kaplan and 686 00:52:32.679 --> 00:52:37.239 Rick Waalteriery I'm Mk Gibson and you guys have been awesome. Thank you again 687 00:52:37.280 --> 00:52:39.639 for listening to Uh, the Dicey Bastards will be back. We'll be back 688 00:52:39.679 --> 00:52:50.519 next time with episode three. Bye everybody, bye, goodbye friends. Dicey 689 00:52:50.559 --> 00:52:53.679 Bastards is brought to you by Orphers and Dragons the Channel by Geeks Full Geeks. 690 00:52:53.960 --> 00:52:57.920 If you'd like to support this show and the orphor is Darien, please 691 00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:01.239 do the name at patron dot com forwards authors and Dragons. Not only will 692 00:53:01.280 --> 00:53:06.079 you get bonus content, but you can hang with a vibrant community of online 693 00:53:06.159 --> 00:53:21.920 widows. Theme music performed by the gal called four. You stupid bitches, 694 00:53:21.960 --> 00:53:22.000 I'm trying to support you.