النص الكامل لحلقة Outcasts

he was a nice boy. 00:03:11.680 --> 00:03:18.879 So on a scale one to ten, if one is popular and ten is not popular, I was like a two. 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:25.680 But on Saturday nights in the company I kept, I was without a doubt a 10 out of 10. 00:03:25.840 --> 00:03:32.159 And every Saturday night through my high school years, I went out with my grandmother and my great aunt uh to dinner. 00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:36.080 And uh prior to that, uh they'd always pick me up. 00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:40.719 Uh, but a big moment in my life when I turned 16, I got my driver's license. 00:03:40.879 --> 00:03:45.520 To them, I became a man, and I started to um pick them up and drive. 00:03:45.680 --> 00:03:46.560 I became their chauffeur. 00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:48.159 I became their chauffeur. 00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:54.800 So I'm Greek, it was my yaya, my grandmother, that's what we call my grandmother, and her sister, my great-aunt Auntariti. 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:56.800 Now both of them were widows. 00:03:56.960 --> 00:04:02.879 Uh they lived in this little house together, and they were both retired from the Amuskag shoe factories in my town. 00:04:02.960 --> 00:04:06.800 Uh, my Yaya for 54 years put shoes together. 00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:13.199 So she worked on the main line manual labor and she put shoes together until her body just gave out and she had to retire. 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:19.040 And after her retirement, her hands they looked like the skins of potatoes from all from all that work. 00:04:19.199 --> 00:04:22.800 And uh my Anna Riti was uh the glamorous of the two. 00:04:22.879 --> 00:04:25.040 She was a secretary in the shoe factories. 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:35.920 And long after her retirement, uh, she was always, no matter where we went, she would be dressed to the nines uh with the lipstick on, with, with, with her high heels, uh, with her aim. 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:40.480 She had a little like Amy Winehouse little curl in the front, and just ready to go. 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:47.519 So on this particular night, um I picked them up in my uh my mom's car. 00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:48.560 I didn't have a car on my own. 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:51.199 It was a bright purple Mercury cougar. 00:04:51.279 --> 00:04:54.959 It was like a neon bright colored car, like one of a kind. 00:04:55.120 --> 00:04:57.759 Um, and uh never seen a car like this before. 00:04:57.839 --> 00:05:04.480 And if you did, you'd probably say is the is a pimp driving this this car. 00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:07.759 You know, so um my town they called it the pimpmobile. 00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:13.120 They nicknamed it the pimpmobile, and everybody, there's the pimpmobile, and yes, okay. 00:05:14.399 --> 00:05:23.759 So on this particular night, it's my junior year in high school, it's uh like late April, and they get into the car and I say to them, Yahis in the front seat, a Ritchie's in the back. 00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:24.720 I'm like, where to? 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:31.680 And they just start laughing because they know every every Saturday night we go to the same place. 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:34.800 Go to a place called the Clam King. 00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:39.680 It was a mom and pop fast food place that specialized in seafood. 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:57.600 And we went there, we sat down, a waitress came over, and every week Yai and Riki would order the same things, fried scallops with with French fries and powder sauce, and I would just get a uh a cheeseburger because my stomach, I have a funny stomach, and I I can't do like exotic things like scallops. 00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:11.920 So when we finished our order, like the night really began at that moment, and we would play this game every week, and I was the lookout, and my job was to watch the waitress going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:21.600 And once she disappeared, the coast was clear, and I'd look across the table to my honorities and I'd wink, and that was a signal, and she knew what that meant. 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:26.000 And she'd lean over and open up her huge purse at the side of the table. 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:33.600 And as she did that, my Yaya would lean over and knock the salt and pepper shakers right into the purse. 00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:35.680 And they're like, Yeah, we got him, we got him, we got him. 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:36.879 Oh my god, we got him, we got him. 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:43.519 And they get so excited, and we got another set, another set, and then they would look at me and they're like, you know, you, and I'm like, what? 00:06:43.600 --> 00:06:45.120 And they're like, you, and I'm like, what? 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.879 And they're like, you're like the best lookout, you know, you're such a good lookout. 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.160 I go, I mean, what do I do? 00:06:50.240 --> 00:06:50.800 I just wink. 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:54.959 I mean, you know, you guys, you steal, yeah, whoa, whoa, time out, timeout. 00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:56.639 It's not stealing, it's not stealing. 00:06:56.720 --> 00:06:57.600 I go, yeah, yeah, it is. 00:06:57.680 --> 00:06:59.120 And they're like, no, it's not stealing. 00:06:59.199 --> 00:07:00.240 Like, think about it. 00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:07.040 We pay our bill, and if we pay our bill, we can take whatever we want. 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:08.240 Anything. 00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:10.000 I'm like, where did you hear this? 00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:11.920 They're like, yeah, it's that's that's fact. 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:13.120 I'm like, okay. 00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:19.759 In their house going down to their basement, they had this big cabinet, and they would always say, Adam, open up the cabinet. 00:07:19.839 --> 00:07:21.519 I'm like, come on, let's open up the cabinet. 00:07:21.680 --> 00:07:28.560 So I'd open up the cabinet, and inside were hundreds of salt and pepper shakers that we'd stolen over there. 00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:30.399 And

they would just look like, look at that. 00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:31.279 And they're like, yeah, yeah. 00:07:31.439 --> 00:07:32.879 They're like, look, I go, I know, I see it. 00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:38.160 They're like, we never have to buy salt and pepper ever again. 00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:39.040 It's all here. 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:41.360 I'm like, okay, it's true, true. 00:07:42.879 --> 00:07:47.040 When the food came, they turned into like Yaya turned into like a little kid. 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:53.839 She would um take her skull and like a robot, dump it in tartar sauce and stick it in her mouth, never chewing, just doing it, just doing it. 00:07:53.920 --> 00:08:01.360 And you'd have to watch because the cheeks would expand, they'd expand, expand, and then she'd choke, and then it was like in her mind, now start chewing. 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:04.639 And she'd chew, gobble down, and go down, and then she'd do it again. 00:08:04.720 --> 00:08:06.079 And like you just like, you know. 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:14.560 Where Arna Riti would order her fries, she's like, I want them right out of the fry later, right out of the fry. 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:16.480 And if they weren't, she'd send them right back. 00:08:16.639 --> 00:08:22.560 And when they came, they'd there'd be like a cloud of smoke coming over the fries, and she'd be so excited, she'd like giddy. 00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:29.120 And she put her hands over the French fries like a campfire, you know, and she would just look, and I'm like, eat them, they're hot. 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:31.360 She's like, No, I just want to watch, I just want to watch. 00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:32.559 I'm like, all right. 00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:35.840 She's like, they smell delicious. 00:08:36.080 --> 00:08:37.600 I wonder how they taste. 00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:39.519 So she started eating. 00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:48.480 And this particular moment was a moment that I looked forward to um more than any moment during the week. 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:53.039 While we ate, uh they would start complimenting me. 00:08:53.279 --> 00:08:55.120 And they would say, Oh, someone get a haircut. 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:56.720 I'm like, I don't like it, it's too short. 00:08:56.799 --> 00:08:58.480 It's too no, it looks good on you. 00:08:58.559 --> 00:08:59.679 And I'm like, oh, thank you. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:00.480 I appreciate it. 00:09:01.120 --> 00:09:03.120 Like, hey Adam, how did you do on the chemistry test? 00:09:03.200 --> 00:09:04.159 I'm like, come on, let's eat. 00:09:04.240 --> 00:09:05.600 I don't want to talk about chemistry now. 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:06.480 Come on, let's just eat. 00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:08.799 They're like, how did you do on the chemistry test? 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:12.639 I got a 95. 00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:15.519 They're like, oh, he's so smart, he's brilliant, this boy. 00:09:15.600 --> 00:09:16.159 He's brilliant. 00:09:16.240 --> 00:09:16.960 I'm like, no, no. 00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:18.320 They're like, yeah, I go, no. 00:09:18.480 --> 00:09:20.399 I take all the easy classes. 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:22.240 That's why I get the 95s. 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:27.200 And they'd be like, oh, this guy, this guy, he's like the total package. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:29.840 I'm like, what does that mean? 00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:34.080 They're like, you're you're smart, you're handsome, and you're humble. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:35.919 You're like the total package. 00:09:36.240 --> 00:09:42.399 And the rest of them, you know, they would just bombard me with nice things about me, just compliments. 00:09:43.840 --> 00:09:46.720 They saw me the way I wanted to be seen. 00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:58.000 So as the night continued, we would get in the car, and our first stop every Saturday after Quam King would be the cemetery to see our dead relatives. 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:06.559 So we'd see the dead relatives, and Yay and Ariti were mobile, they could walk, but once we got into the cemetery, they didn't like they get they get kind of scared, so they stayed in the car. 00:10:06.720 --> 00:10:12.240 So we would drive and see all our dead relatives, and um they would always say, like, come on, get a little closer. 00:10:12.399 --> 00:10:13.679 I'm like, no, I I can't get in. 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:16.639 They're like, get a little closer, I want to touch the uh the gravestone. 00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:19.440 They go, if I do that, I'm gonna be over the dead person. 00:10:19.519 --> 00:10:20.879 They're like, Don't worry, nobody's looking. 00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:21.759 Just do it, just do it. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:22.480 I'm like, all right. 00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:27.440 So I'm like driving over like the dead person, they'd roll down the window and they'd be like, Hi, Ben. 00:10:29.759 --> 00:10:30.879 Let's go to the next one. 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:34.879 And then we'd be like, Hi, Paul, and they're like saying hi to all the dead relatives. 00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:37.360 Then we would go to McDonald's for milkshakes. 00:10:37.440 --> 00:10:39.759 The Clam King had milkshakes, but nothing like McDonald's. 00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:40.559 They love McDonald's. 00:10:40.639 --> 00:10:46.399 So we got our chocolate milkshakes, and then we would go uh just driving around again Saturday night, just driving around, driving around. 00:10:46.480 --> 00:10:54.480 And we'd always go by this little dinky airport in my hometown, and we would go by, and whenever we would pass it, they would say, you know what would be fun, Adam? 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:55.840 And I'm like, no, no, what? 00:10:55.919 --> 00:11:02.480 And they're like, you know, if we if we drove into the little parking lot there and we watched a plane take off, wouldn't that be exciting? 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:03.519 Wouldn't that be fun? 00:11:03.679 --> 00:11:05.279 I'm like, yeah, yeah, well, we should do it. 00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:07.279 I go, not I'm sorry, girls, not tonight. 00:11:07.360

--> 00:11:08.720 And I would I keep driving. 00:11:08.879 --> 00:11:12.799 And it was difficult to say no to these women. 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:23.600 But what they didn't know is on Monday mornings at the Walker area, um, all the popular kids would be talking about what happened Saturday night at the airport. 00:11:23.759 --> 00:11:26.960 Uh the airport was like our inspiration point, make out point. 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:28.559 That's where all of them went. 00:11:28.639 --> 00:11:30.480 And I'd hear about the hijinks. 00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:41.279 And um, for me at that time to get caught at the airport, okay, by the cool kids with my yaya and my auntie, like, no, like, no, not gonna happen. 00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:42.399 Not cool, no, no. 00:11:42.559 --> 00:11:47.120 I had a friend called Fetus, I was thrown out of marching band, okay? 00:11:47.600 --> 00:11:49.919 Like, not not like, please, please. 00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:51.840 Um, no, no. 00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:54.399 Even nice guys have their limits here. 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:55.360 Christ. 00:11:56.720 --> 00:12:00.159 The other thing is, um, I had never been to the airport yet. 00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:07.519 And uh my dream 17 years old, and my hope was the first time I went, I would go with a girl my own age and make out. 00:12:09.279 --> 00:12:16.559 Unfortunately, there was no chance of that ever happening uh because girls my age uh they didn't see me that way. 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:21.360 So on this night again, it's late April, daylight savings time. 00:12:21.440 --> 00:12:22.960 We drive by, we're making good time. 00:12:23.200 --> 00:12:27.200 There's not a car in that parking lot, and they're asking me, and finally I just give in. 00:12:27.279 --> 00:12:29.039 I say, okay, one plane. 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:36.480 And they get very excited and we pull in, we're at this little chain-link fence, and in my mind is one plane, then you're getting the hell out of here. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:39.919 And we're sitting there, and I turn on the radio. 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:41.679 Uh, I want to brag. 00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:47.759 Uh, I uh had only been driving one year, but I perfected the volume of the radio when they were in the car. 00:12:47.840 --> 00:12:50.159 So we got the do-wop shop out of Boston plan. 00:12:50.399 --> 00:12:59.120 Okay, we got Dion and the Belmonts run around Sioux, and it's loud enough so they can hear it, okay, but it's not too loud that they'll complain that it's too loud. 00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:01.360 So I look, they nod, we're good to go. 00:13:01.519 --> 00:13:02.799 Now we just need a plane. 00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:06.879 Now we just need so okay, again, small, small airport in New Hampshire. 00:13:07.039 --> 00:13:09.919 It's not JFK, it's not LaGuardia, it's not even Newark, okay? 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:13.360 Not a lot of planes, like not a lot of planes on a Saturday night. 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:17.039 So we're sitting there, like a half hour goes by and the sweat starts coming down. 00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:23.200 And I'm like, yeah, we gotta get a plane here, you know, and this little one propeller plane comes on the runway, and I'm like, thank you. 00:13:23.279 --> 00:13:27.279 And I hold Yaya's hand and I hold the Riti's hand and it starts taking off. 00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:34.960 And as it goes over our heads, like in unison, we go like, we! And it's a nice feeling, it's nice, it's nice, you know, it's good, right? 00:13:35.039 --> 00:13:36.000 Good, yeah, it's good, it's good. 00:13:36.159 --> 00:13:37.039 And I'm like, let's go. 00:13:37.120 --> 00:13:43.279 And I and I go to start up the car, and Yaya puts her hand on my wrist and she just squeezes and she's like, before we go, honey, I go, what's up, Yaya? 00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:46.559 She's like, before we go, can I ask you a question? 00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:48.000 I'm like, yeah, what is it, Yaya? 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:48.399 Come on. 00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:56.480 She's like, Do you think that plane's going to China? 00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:58.399 I'm like, what? 00:13:58.559 --> 00:13:59.840 She's like, Do you think that plane's? 00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:02.240 I go, Yaya, we're in New Hampshire. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:03.360 China's far away. 00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:04.799 I mean, it's a small plane. 00:14:04.879 --> 00:14:05.279 I don't know. 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:07.120 I mean, your guess is as good as mine. 00:14:07.200 --> 00:14:07.840 I don't know. 00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:10.799 So Yaya's in the back, uh, Anna Ritchie's in the back seat. 00:14:10.879 --> 00:14:11.840 She's the older sister. 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:12.879 She starts cackling. 00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:15.279 She's like, oh my, what a stupid question. 00:14:15.440 --> 00:14:16.480 That's a stupid question. 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:18.159 How the hell is he supposed to know that? 00:14:18.559 --> 00:14:21.120 And she lights up a palm menthol, not supposed to smoke. 00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:26.080 She's had cancer twice, but she takes a couple puffs just to get her fixed and flips it out the window. 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:26.879 Now she's good. 00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:30.639 Now Yaya's pissed off and turns around and goes, Yeah, keep smoking, big mouth. 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:31.279 Keep smoking. 00:14:31.440 --> 00:14:32.799 Cancer's got you down twice. 00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:34.559 Next time you're going down for the count. 00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:37.200 You're dancing with the devil, you're dancing with the devil. 00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:38.639 Now Anna Rita looks at her. 00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:39.519 Now she's pissed off. 00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:41.759 She's like, last time I checked, it's a free country. 00:14:41.840 --> 00:14:42.639 I'll do what the hell I want. 00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:45.120 And Yaya's like, well, good luck to you and the Red Sox. 00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.879 And they just start fighting and they're going back and forth, back and forth. 00:14:49.120

--> 00:14:51.039 When they run out of English, they go to Greek. 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:56.720 When they run out of Greek, it's just all hand gestures, and it's just like, it is incredible. 00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:59.120 It's just like, what a show that they're doing. 00:14:59.279 --> 00:15:04.000 And I know I've learned from the years, do not pick sides, because if you pick one side, the other will be upset. 00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:09.360 So I'm just taking it in, laughing, and then I look in the rearview mirror, and they're coming in. 00:15:09.440 --> 00:15:15.120 And it's jettas and sobs, and they got the central high school bumper stickers, and this is not good. 00:15:15.200 --> 00:15:17.519 This is this this this this is I'm I'm screwed. 00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:22.000 And this blue suburban pulls up next to me, and it's the last car I want to see. 00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:24.879 It's a senior SD and his girlfriend Rachel. 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:26.799 They're not nice people. 00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:28.559 They're not nice people. 00:15:28.720 --> 00:15:34.639 And they see the pimpmobile, and immediately he yells out the window, Holy shit, Adam Wade. 00:15:34.879 --> 00:15:36.879 Adam Wade's at the airport. 00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:39.519 Now I know tone. 00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:41.360 I've been made fun of a lot my whole life. 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:42.159 I've been made fun of. 00:15:42.240 --> 00:15:43.200 I know what being made. 00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:44.480 I know the tone. 00:15:44.720 --> 00:15:46.159 He is not making fun of me. 00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:46.720 I know it. 00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:49.519 He actually sounds impressed. 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.360 And the next question he has is, who you got in there, stud? 00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:54.879 Who you got in there? 00:15:59.200 --> 00:16:02.480 On Q Yaya leans over and waves to him. 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:06.960 He's with his grandmother and great aunt, dear. 00:16:07.039 --> 00:16:10.159 Isn't this a beautiful night to watch the airplanes? 00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:12.799 I want to be dead. 00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:13.759 I want to be dead. 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:19.200 I I I literally I close my eyes and I just want to be a vapor and just poof, you know. 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:22.080 And I do that and I open my eyes. 00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:23.600 I have not vaporized. 00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:24.799 I'm still there. 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:28.000 And now sweat is, I'm just dripping in sweat. 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:30.080 Um, the sun has gone down. 00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:33.279 All the cars are flipping their high beams onto my car. 00:16:33.440 --> 00:16:40.879 They see the pimpmobile, they're yelling my name, they're beeping the horns, and it's just like I look over at the eye and she's smiling. 00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:43.440 And a re teeth, they're like, oh my god, you're like the man. 00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:44.080 Wow. 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:45.840 I mean, everybody knows you. 00:16:46.000 -->

00:16:47.039 Everybody knows you. 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:51.840 And then I'm sweating and the eye's like, she grabs, she's like, what's wrong? 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:52.960 You gotta go diarrhea? 00:16:53.039 --> 00:16:53.600 You gotta go diarrhea. 00:16:53.679 --> 00:16:54.639 I go, I don't have to go diarrhea. 00:16:54.799 --> 00:16:55.919 What the hell are you talking about? 00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:58.000 She's like, remember, I go, it's four years old. 00:16:58.080 --> 00:16:59.440 Why do you always bring that up? 00:16:59.600 --> 00:17:00.480 I did it once. 00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:02.720 I did it, I I shattered my pants once. 00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:03.279 Why? 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:04.160 Why? 00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:08.160 She's like, Well, what is wrong with you? 00:17:08.319 --> 00:17:09.119 What is wrong with you? 00:17:09.279 --> 00:17:13.039 I go, I'm I'm not who you think I am, okay? 00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:14.640 I'm not who you think I am. 00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:16.720 She's like, Well, what do you mean? 00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:20.240 I go, come on, God, I'm a loser. 00:17:21.119 --> 00:17:22.400 I'm a loser. 00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:27.359 And Yaya gets upset, and she's like, Why would you say that, Adam? 00:17:27.599 --> 00:17:29.599 Why would you say that you're a loser? 00:17:29.839 --> 00:17:34.319 And I snap, and I just say, because I'm with you two on a Saturday night. 00:17:34.400 --> 00:17:35.359 That's why I'm a loser. 00:17:35.440 --> 00:17:36.799 I mean, think about it. 00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:45.839 And I start up the car, and the car goes quiet, it never goes quiet, and I'm shaking now, and I've never in my life talked to them like that. 00:17:46.240 --> 00:17:55.599 And we're driving home in silence, and I had this embarrassment, and now it's turned to shame for how I've treated them. 00:17:56.400 --> 00:18:05.839 We get back to their house, and with my shoulders slunched, I go and I sit on the little love seat and I wait for them, and they go upstairs and they put on their slippers made of yarn and their moo moos. 00:18:06.640 --> 00:18:10.880 And they come down, they start making a racket in the kitchen, like real loud. 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:14.799 They get in boiling the hot water for the good hot chocolate that I like. 00:18:14.960 --> 00:18:19.119 They get the Swiss fudge and they cut it and put on a silver tray that I like. 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:24.079 And then they get the uh bowl of poppycock caramel popcorn, the good stuff, the brand. 00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:26.240 They get everything ready for me in it. 00:18:26.480 --> 00:18:34.799 Um 10 p.m., with like two big babushkas, they sandwich me in the little love seat, and we start to watch a show called The Kamish. 00:18:35.119 --> 00:18:37.279 Now, the Kamish was our favorite show. 00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:41.200 It starred Michael Chickwash and he's Greek and we're Greek. 00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:49.039 And if there's a Greek on TV or an actor that has a last name that

sounds like it could be Greek, we're gonna watch the show. 00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:55.119 We're gonna talk about how good he is or she is and and how Greeks are some great actors. 00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:59.279 No matter how what the show is or how good it is. 00:19:01.279 --> 00:19:04.720 So a commercial comes on, and I just don't know what to say. 00:19:07.359 --> 00:19:13.200 Just go, um you know, uh I'll tell you one thing about this. 00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:14.400 Michael Chickas. 00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:15.839 He's a great actor. 00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:20.480 I mean, he's right up there with Greeks like Telly Savalas and John Cassavetis. 00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:22.400 I mean, he's that those were their favorite actors. 00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:23.920 I mean, I mean it's just my opinion. 00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:26.079 I mean, he's got the potential at least, right? 00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:35.119 And I wait, and um starts padding my head, and she says, uh, I hope. 00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:36.000 Wow. 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.039 And I'm like, what? 00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:41.680 And she's like, you got such a nice haircut, Adam. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:42.319 Did I tell you that? 00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:43.599 I go, yeah, you did. 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:51.279 And uh Anna Rites squeezes me and she says, uh, you know you're the best boy, right? 00:19:51.599 --> 00:19:52.960 You're our boy. 00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:54.400 Thank you. 00:19:55.839 --> 00:20:01.039 As much as they love being with me, I love being with them. 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:07.200 I go to school on Monday, and it is a shit show. 00:20:09.359 --> 00:20:18.000 S D's telling everybody that I'm gonna go to the prom with my yaya, and that's only if my auntie says no. 00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:25.920 And they go after me all day long, like all day long. 00:20:26.079 --> 00:20:27.839 But I survived, I'm here. 00:20:29.759 --> 00:21:10.480 So Anariti passed away 12 years ago, and uh Yaya passed away 10 years ago, and uh I find myself going home to New Hampshire to visit my family now three to four times a year, and whenever I do, I find myself in a car and I retrace the route from that night, and I'll go by their house, I'll go by where the clam king was, I'll go by the cemetery where they are now, and I drive right up this side, I roll down, hi, yeah, I read, and I keep going, and um I get my chocolate milkshake at McDonald's, I take my lacted pill now because the stomach. 00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:14.240 And then I go by the airport. 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:26.240 And on the time since they've passed, I've tried to be the person they saw me as, and the person I was to them, and I don't have a lot of regrets in my life. 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:32.720 But I never I never took them back to the airport, and they asked many, many times. 00:21:33.279 --> 00:21:35.440 And I would give anything. 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:42.640 I would give anything to be able to take them back to the airport one more Saturday night. 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:46.960 Thank you. 00:21:52.880 --> 00:21:57.440 If you'd like to hear more from Adam, you can go see one of his many live shows in New York. 00:21:57.599 --> 00:21:59.759 You can listen to his two comedy storytellers. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.759 Albums or his Audible exclusive audio memoir, You Oughta Know Adam Wade. 00:22:06.400 --> 00:22:12.880 And coming up next, we have someone who's been with the Artichoke since the very beginning, and that is Crystal River Williams. 00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:16.960 Crystal's not only a great storyteller, but a restaurateur to boot. 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:26.559 For many years, she co-owned the very popular cafe Norma's in Ridgewood, Queens, before opening up a new location in the Hudson Valley where we host our monthly Story Slams. 00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:32.160 Here she is this past June at our Story Slam at Norma's in Wappinger's Falls. 00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:48.559 The year is 1984, and I am a weird, scruffy nine-year-old living amongst the weed fields in Southern California. 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:54.079 I'm laying on a foam mattress on the floor of a hut that I share with my best friend Sunshine. 00:22:54.319 --> 00:23:03.839 The adults are up the hill in the moon hut, which is just past the open-air outhouse, and they're most likely naked and passing around the weekly harvest. 00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.480 My mom may or may not be with them. 00:23:06.559 --> 00:23:15.519 She's kind of like this elusive figure that'll breeze in and breeze out and occasionally scoop me up and take me to a new commune or some teepee's in another desert. 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:21.039 And then eventually we always end up back here because these huts have become our home. 00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:28.480 Sunshine and I are listening to Off the Wall by Michael Jackson, and we're looking at the album cover by an oil lantern. 00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:31.440 We're not like the other kids our age. 00:23:31.759 --> 00:23:39.119 Most kids are going to the roller skating rink or the mall, and we're running around the mountains naked and having peeing competitions. 00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:56.880 And at nighttime, we take turns telling each other fantastic stories of our dream futures that usually involve stumbling across some sort of a magical creature in the forest who then grants our wishes to make our hair big and our boobs big, and we become popular and our crushes fall madly in love with us. 00:23:57.599 --> 00:24:05.920 But tonight the story is hitting a little different because I've just returned from visiting my dad at this amazing place called an apartment complex. 00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:12.720 And he had electricity and running water and jars and jars full of coins. 00:24:13.039 --> 00:24:17.519 He must have had like four or five coined jars that were just like brimming to the top. 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:23.519 And when he saw me eyeing them with awe, he very, very generously allowed me to take them.

00:24:23.680 --> 00:24:28.240 And I dumped them into my old wooden-handled suitcase and I brought them back here to the huts. 00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:30.559 I now had money. 00:24:30.880 --> 00:24:39.680 And money had been the one thing standing between me and my dream to own a fluorescent pink sweatshirt and a pair of jelly shoes. 00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:44.319 I knew that when I got my dream outfit, I was going to be just as cool as Molly Ringwald. 00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:54.480 So the next day, instead of going to my school and getting on the school bus, I took my jingling suitcase full of coins on the public bus and I went downtown to Santa Cruz. 00:24:55.519 --> 00:25:00.960 I walked along the main strip and I peered in all the windows until I found a shop that had everything I needed. 00:25:01.440 --> 00:25:11.599 I walked in and I decisively picked a skirt, a fluorescent shirt, jelly shoes, and these really, really cool iridescent feathered earrings. 00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:17.680 I brought it to the counter, and the the owner kind of looked at me a little weird, but she rung me up. 00:25:17.920 --> 00:25:20.480 And when I got my total, I unzipped my suitcase. 00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:24.319 I reached my hand in and I pulled out a fistful of coins and I plopped it on the counter. 00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:26.559 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 00:25:26.720 --> 00:25:27.599 We don't take coins. 00:25:27.680 --> 00:25:29.519 You're gonna need to get some paper money. 00:25:30.480 --> 00:25:32.960 Oh I hadn't anticipated that. 00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:34.240 How do I get paper money? 00:25:34.880 --> 00:25:39.920 She kindly and patiently explained to me where the bank was and what I would have to do when I got there. 00:25:40.160 --> 00:25:47.119 So I put my coins back and I lugged my suitcase down to the bank and I got some paper rolls from the teller because I was not gonna be weird. 00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:57.920 So I plopped myself down on the lobby in the middle of the bank and unset my suitcase and I spent the next hour counting pennies and nickels and dimes and quarters until I had bills in hand. 00:25:58.559 --> 00:26:05.440 I went back to the shop, I got my dream outfit, I put it in my now empty suitcase, and I took it back to the hut. 00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:14.799 The next morning, my best friend Sunshine's mother boiled a pot of hot water over a propane stove, and I washed myself with a washcloth and I put on my dream outfit. 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:23.839 I got on the school bus eagerly, and at recess, Chad and Zach McNormalsen were making eyes at me from the tetherball court. 00:26:24.559 --> 00:26:26.000 I knew I looked good. 00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:35.519 And then they approached me with a look in their eye that made me realize that I had made a terrible, terrible mistake. 00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:43.599 Today was Friday, and at Ben Lohman Elementary School, girls do not wear skirts on Friday because we have rules. 00:26:43.839 --> 00:26:50.400 Monday is marriage day, Tuesday is Toast Day, Wednesday is wedding day, Thursday is throw-up day, and Friday is flip-up day. 00:26:50.720 --> 00:26:56.559 Which means any girl who's foolish enough to wear a skirt to school on Friday is gonna get it flipped up. 00:26:57.200 --> 00:27:03.680 And uh on my shopping spree, I'd kind of forgotten one very important piece of uh clothing, underwear. 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:12.240 So as they approached me, I froze and they exposed my bare bottom to the entire fifth grade playground. 00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:15.599 I wanted to die. 00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:18.559 On the bus, the kids taunted me. 00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:21.119 What color is your underwear, Crystal River? 00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:23.759 I was crushed. 00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:25.920 I was not the cool kid. 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:29.519 I was still the weird girl who doesn't wear underwear. 00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.240 That night in the huts, I prayed to the magical creatures in the forest. 00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:36.960 Please never make me go back. 00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:39.200 Please take me away. 00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:41.920 Please make the embarrassment stop. 00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:46.720 Please make this sad, dirty, lonely life stop. 00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:52.799 The next day, my mom breezed in. 00:27:52.960 --> 00:27:54.799 And she scooped me up. 00:27:55.200 --> 00:28:00.559 And she took me back to that amazing place called an apartment complex where she dropped me off with my father. 00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:04.960 And then she breezed away, never to return again. 00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:08.559 And just like magic, my father became my wizard. 00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:10.400 And he granted every one of my wishes. 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:15.119 He took me to the mall and he bought me clothes, which I wore to the roller skating ring. 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:18.160 He bought me Aqua Net and a curling iron. 00:28:18.400 --> 00:28:21.039 And one day he was forced to buy me a training bra. 00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:25.359 And in sixth grade, my crush Corey gave me my very first kiss. 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:28.960 I learned a lot living with my dad. 00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:32.559 Like you don't just wear underwear on Friday, you have to wear them every day of the week. 00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:37.359 Um I also learned how to feel safe. 00:28:37.599 --> 00:28:41.839 And I learned how to be loved, even though I am still that weird kid. 00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:43.519 Thank you. 00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:56.240 And that's Crystal River Williams at the Artichoke Storytelling Slam at Norma's in Wappinger's Falls. 00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:59.119 She unsurprisingly won the slam that night. 00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:01.680 I'm so excited to share my interview with her. 00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:09.279 I kicked things off with asking a little bit about how the relationship between the Artichoke and Norma's came to be. 00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:16.240 Drew and Crystal go way back, and Drew

was also a part of the team that brought Norma's to Wappingers Falls. 00:29:16.319 --> 00:29:20.000 So go ahead and enjoy my chat with Crystal. 00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:34.079 We knew from the beginning, we put a little stage in there, and we knew from the beginning that we wanted to do something with the storytelling, something with writing, something that was arts related there, and something that's very community-building there. 00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:40.880 And of course, with Drew doing the artichoke, the first thing he thought of was just making something where the community can get a shot at trying storytelling. 00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:50.400 How do you think about community building for normas and for any future endeavors that may or may not be on your plate right now? 00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:55.119 I think community building is the whole point of hospitality from my perspective. 00:29:55.279 --> 00:29:58.720 I've been a restaurant tour and a brick and mortar operator for 15 years now. 00:29:58.880 --> 00:30:01.599 And when Denise and I say, Why are we doing this to ourselves? 00:30:01.759 --> 00:30:03.279 It's clearly a mental health issue. 00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:06.480 The reason we do it is for the community building. 00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:12.480 It is making sure that whoever walks through your door feels welcome and heard. 00:30:12.960 --> 00:30:18.400 It is never making anybody feel stupid for asking you a question or making a request. 00:30:18.640 --> 00:30:24.000 It is doing our best to do our version of whatever somebody is asking us for. 00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:25.680 And it is saying yes a lot. 00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:34.240 Like when somebody comes to us and is like, hey, we're doing a Dahlia festival, can we have the contestants sit in your backyard while we're doing the judging at the local historical society? 00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:35.279 Absolutely. 00:30:35.440 --> 00:30:40.640 It's the knitting group that's like, hey, I've got 12 knitters that want to come in during the rush every single Sunday. 00:30:40.720 --> 00:30:42.319 And we go, absolutely. 00:30:42.559 --> 00:30:51.119 And all of those yeses lead to connection and neighbors meeting each other in a place where they couldn't have had any other way to meet each other. 00:30:51.359 --> 00:30:57.359 And my favorite part of like the traditions for families when they're like everybody has their birthday breakfast at Norma's. 00:30:57.440 --> 00:30:58.480 I hear things like that. 00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:12.559 Or my daughter gets her cookie here on this day of the week if she's good, or like I'm stopping by the library, and this is where we go afterwards for our post-library family time, or even the yoga people coming in in the morning. 00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:17.759 Like it's just it's a sense of helping people build routines and memories together. 00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.559 I love that. 00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:23.519 I'm curious about what storytelling means to you. 00:31:23.839 --> 00:31:32.880 I think for me, telling a story about myself was new, like getting up on a stage in front of people and exposing a part of my history that they don't see. 00:31:32.960 --> 00:31:34.960 They don't know who I was when I was a child. 00:31:35.039 --> 00:31:38.079 I'm showing them my sunny side when I'm when I am serving them. 00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:48.640 But to show them a little bit more of the underbelly, it was kind of like me going, this is also a part of who I am, you know, and and that's a part of myself that I also still love and that I'm proud of. 00:31:48.880 --> 00:32:00.000 And it was just sort of a healing experience to be so open about the other aspects of my life and not just the persona that I that I am using when I'm at work. 00:32:00.160 --> 00:32:00.319 Yeah. 00:32:00.559 --> 00:32:02.400 But doing that at work was really weird. 00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:09.599 Also really customers in the audience, and I'm like, I was like, here's here's my childhood. 00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:13.039 I mean, how incredible. 00:32:13.359 --> 00:32:20.319 Okay, so for the folks who haven't checked out Norma's yet, what is your favorite thing on the menu right now? 00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:24.480 Well, I'm I'm a biscuit fanatic, which is why we have so many biscuits. 00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:32.160 So um, we just just did a peach habanero biscuit with honey butter that was so good. 00:32:33.279 --> 00:32:40.559 Well, I'm so glad that you are part of the artichoke scene and community in such an important and special way. 00:32:40.720 --> 00:32:45.039 Is there anything else you want the people of the world, aka our listeners, to know? 00:32:45.680 --> 00:32:54.400 Um, just that the artichoke is incredibly special and that Drew does put so much of his heart into it, and he cares about it so much. 00:32:54.559 --> 00:32:59.920 And um, I'm just really lucky to have him as uh a brother and a neighbor. 00:33:01.359 --> 00:33:08.319 I was raised by a British person, and Crystal knows that compliments are my kryptonite, but I do love her to death. 00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:10.960 And that's our episode, everybody. 00:33:11.119 --> 00:33:22.799 If you'd like to try your hand at live storytelling, our story slams are at Norma's in Wappinger's Falls the fourth Thursday of every month, or you can sign up for one of our storytelling workshops at artichokeshow.com. 00:33:23.599 --> 00:33:28.400 The theme song you heard at the top of the show is The Artichoke by Charming Disaster. 00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:31.119 We are all huge fans of their music. 00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:36.319 This episode was produced by the wonderful Carly Shiraki and edited by yours truly. 00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:45.440 Thanks to our graphic designer Adam Selpst, to the staffs at the Howland Cultural Center and Normas, and to you, the audience, for keeping us going. 00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:47.759 See you soon, everyone.